The Harland Highway - NEW HARLAND HIGHWAY #33 FRANCISCO RAMOS, Comedian, Actor

Episode Date: November 22, 2022

Comedian Fancisco Ramos is here to talk dog sex, voodoo, and the state of the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know, like a dog has a penis. Yeah. But then the pink thing comes out. That's the penis guy. So what's the thing that's never the penis? That's just a skin flap, a hairy skin flap. The skin flap is still the penis. I mean, are we having a dog penis argument here?

Yeah, I mean, because I always thought their penises were out all the time. But you're saying when the pink thing comes out, that's when the actual penis comes out. I think that pink thing, that's why they call it the lipstick, because it comes out of the skin flap. out comes the lipstick and that this thing here is the dog penis are you seeing this yeah yeah yes I'm seeing

well look a little closer because I don't want you to forget that's the dog penis and now it's just a skin flap you're riding down the Harland Highway All right hold tight on the Harland Highway Show

Harland Williams Let her open my frosty Coke first I don't have that For us to cook Oh yeah Now I hear my know Do you drink Coke? I do but I do the

Coke Zero Oh come on Yeah you don't know I don't go for the original anymore No I don't know I don't know if that stuff's good for you

I mean is it Is that one better Well let's look at it This way This is sugar that comes From God's fingertips And Coke Zero Probably comes out of

Satan's rear-round. That's true. Like, what is in that stuff? Yeah, but the question is, are you an ass man or are you a finger man? I'm an ass man. I'll take a zero. That's the perfect way to put it. Oh, man, well, let's hit the theme music.

Here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Harland Highway podcast. And today, great. Gast Francisco. How do I say the last name? I don't want to get it wrong. Ramos or Ramos? Both.

I always say both because in English, you know, A is Ramos. So in Spanish, it's Ramos. It could be whatever. See, just the way you did it there at the end, Ramos. You snuck a little, like a rolling. A little roll of R, yeah, which is, it's funny how. It's beautiful. How people that don't speak Spanish love that role of ours, which to me is like, it's like,

But I guess it's natural for me, but it's not, I don't see the appeal to it, but the RR people love it. Yeah, see, I just got a tingle. Yeah. Like, I have two, two emotions when you do that. Okay. It's danger. Okay. And it's passion.

Well, that's actually, that's basically a telenovela right there. What's a telenovela? Yes, it is it. What is it? It is the Latin American peanut butter pretty much. Notella Ovella? telenovela like soap opera oh okay which is we say passion and danger that's pretty much what they are really yeah because when i hear it when i hear the r i feel the passion is i feel it's so sexy yeah

but the danger is i feel like i'm walking up on a rattlesnake in the middle of the desert and i think that's basically that's uh isn't that what you want in a in a in a relationship i do but can i can i be honest here this is tough for me to admit okay i'm a little little bit jealous, bro. About the R? About R about you, about your voice. Because, you know, you're from Venezuela. Yes.

And just the way you talk, the way you roll that are, the way you speak. And I'm from Canada. Yeah. And. But I'm jealous of you. I've been from Canada. Wait a minute. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. Because I was going to say Canadians, and I love Canada. I love being Canadian. I love all Canadians. Canadians don't take this the wrong way. But if we were in a grocery store, okay, Canada, Canadians would kind of be the loaf of white wonder, Brad. And you, you would be this, Taheen.

Oh, okay. Well, there's actually an aisle in the grocery store of Latin American food. So we actually, there's no Canadian aisle. Right. I mean, I think the Canadian aisle is just where everything is cold. Like when you walk around and get the cheese and the milk, like as soon as you start getting cold, that's kind of like the Canadian. That's the Canadian aisle.

Yeah. But it's also, it's like, like I love being Canadian, proud to be Canadian, but we're sort of like plain. Like every country has like their kind of accent and they're kind of, the Canada is sort like, hey, how you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we do have the French part of Canada. True, that Montreal, Quebec.

And that's very spicy. Yeah. But that's just a small part. But other countries, it's the whole country. Like Venezuela's, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, but I think that's what I guess is, I think is that the human nature of that you like stuff that you don't have.

You know, I guess in Venezuela, like, we don't have the Canadian loaf of bread, I guess. Like a culture of, like, just everything nice and chilling. Everybody's welcome you and, like, and great health care, you know. Like, so it's like, I want that, you know what I mean? That's true. And so it's like, I think it's like, yeah, you're looking at the other side of like, you're not seeing like, because you're used to that. You were born on that.

Yeah, that's true. Like that stuff. Yeah. So I actually enjoy. And it's funny because out of all the, since I've been in LA of all the comics and people I mean, I always get up for some reason, like I have a lot of Canadian friends. Huh. Like, it's just a thing that I don't know, I connect along with Canadian friends.

Because it's like, yeah, because they're all nice. Way, we try. I mean, like, there's nobody. It's like, they're still, you're still funny, you're still cool, you're still, but you're nice. Thank you. I never, I never feel, I never feel the rattlesnake. Really? The danger of, like, I'm going to get stabbed in the back or something.

Yeah, you bet. No. Wow. But I got to say, though, just hearing you talk, like, like anything, like, I would love to do a little thing where, you know how, like in Venezuela and the Latin culture. There's a little more of that kind of, I don't know, there's a little bit more of that kind of weird, kind of voodoo-y kind of like, you know, like the scary, like the Lala reina and all that. Like L'Orena. Yeah, how do you say it? I said Lalarana.

Yeah, that's just a name. Waiter more Lalorena over here, please. Plus Lorena is also a name. It's like, like, just saying like, you guys, you guys got the. Mary. It's like, which Mary? Yeah.

Not like Jorona, I think you're saying. Yeah, is that how you say? See? Jodot. Because it's two L's. But Jorona is the cryer. The cryers.

Yeah. They were actually, yeah, there's like a, it's supposed to be, what's the story? Like this lady that die and then she just cries. And then when you hear it in the night, the night they cry.

Yeah, there's a lot of superstitious. Right? A lot of, yes. Yeah, I grew up with that. Every horror movie, there's like the Latin lady with the veil over her eyes or she's fiddling with the bell.

beads, which is basically every grandmother, Latin grandmother. Right. Which I think that's how it starts. It's from, like, the grandmother going like, mm-mm. Wait, wait, how does she go? What is she a masseuse? What is that? I don't know.

I'm thinking just 90s, like, almost like, you know, they're like, they're not, you know, they're just in the wheelchair. They're like, going to the bathroom. Or they can't go to the bathroom. I think that's it. Yeah, if someone's going to the bathroom and their fingers are going like that, they're probably trying to get rid of a Thanksgiving swirler. Which is why that's actually the origin story of the La Girona.

That's how it started. But see, it's like there's sort of this mythology, this kind of every horror movie you see, there's the weird, like Spanish nun with the cobwebs coming out of her eyes. There is very superstitious culture. I grew up in that. Like, you know, people like, for example, during especially the, the holidays, like Christmas, like, there's, like, a million, like, New Year's, like, millions of, like, superstitious of, like, for example, like, of, like, eating, like,

before the New Year's Eve, you got to eat, like, a lot of, like, uh, lentils, you know, because that means it's going to, you're going to have a lot of money the next year. Or, like, for girls, you have to wear a, uh, a yellow thong or yellow thing and show it to the moon because that's... Really? Which I'm thinking that's... Wait, what? Who came up with that one, Hugh Baffner?

Of course, yeah. There's definitely some creepy old guy that, like, yeah, you're showing. He's like, yeah, yeah. But that's kind of like another one. Yeah. Holding like the eating grapes, you have to eat 12 grapes before, you know, or holding money in your right hand when the New York comes because they also are going to give you money, you know.

So this is where I'm going with it. You just kind of verified everything I was talking about in order for me to get some of what you got a little of that yeah a little of that passion I've got this little light here with the candle can we do like a little ceremony like where I I try to get some of that

sure so okay here's what I'm gonna do now I'm kind of doing it on a poor man's budget here okay I don't have I don't have none which is why you have no that's how you have to do it I think that's actually more realistic it's gonna be a poor cigar okay okay So I got some spicy salsa. What I want to do, let me turn the... Is this sans sponsored by Tostitas?

I feel like it's like... This seance is not. Here's what I'm thinking. Okay. How about we got the spices? How about if I dip my driver's license in there. Okay. And you do like some kind of like cool.

like sexy chant or something okay i won't know what the hell you're saying yeah but maybe that'll and what do you want me to or what do you what's the what do you mean to to well i'm doing this chant what do you want what should i what do you want to get out of this like i want to have some of your like sex appeal some of your spice okay i'll even undo a button i think yes yes yeah of course yeah yeah yeah okay so uh you you uh i'll start and you uh whatever you need to do i'm putting My driver's license. Oh, dude. Did you feel something?

Hold on. I feel like you have more chest hurt now. I do? Yes. Wow. I think you're right. There's like five new ones. And I think I wet my pants.

Yeah, right. Good. That's actually, that's a good sign. It is? Yeah, it means that you're coming into your new being. Because you're like a newborn. Yes, if you get moist. You're new born.

You're coming into your new things. So it's good. Yeah. Like, because now what I basically was a lot of the chanting. I don't know if you heard I was just I mean it was I was trying to use a lot of more of like like

sex anal um wait what was that last one anal oh god no but excuse me no excuse me

ceremony over I could have should have put my blockbuster card in there not my license well not that you're it has to be with like it's

Actually, I was actually It's actually trying to do a music from a song From like a Venezuelan actually A band That they have actually a song called Discoanal Disco anal Yeah which is like It's a song that they

To girls or whatever Did you notice I'm doing this shirt right up now guy Um This is becoming the opposite of the whole Yeah this really I think I'm going to stick with the Canadian thing That doesn't mean I was trying to give you the

I know but I ended up getting ass blasted And not really Not really I don't know that's the direction I wanted to go I didn't tell me I was just like improvising I think I'd rather get fucked up by

Lalarena than just Go through the anal experience But thanks for trying guy I really appreciate it I mean I was By way I've never done this so like This could actually potentially backfire Yeah.

You know, and I guess, I guess if it's the first time you're allowed a little anal mistake. Yes, that's true. I mean, whoever gets it right the first time they do anal. No, anybody, nobody gets. I mean, I think anal is definitely like a, like a semester. Yeah. Like a thing that you have to go every month and, you know, and test it. You know, like I do it and like until you finally get to like, okay, this is working.

So you're going to be back here in 30 days? Yes. oh my god i'm just i went from feeling moist to i think it stings now i feel like something stings good good i think that's i think that's you're actually going through all the the stages of the sands you know moist stinks you know and then regret and then going on like and then you're going to wake up and go like what the hell just happened you know so and i'm not even going to be here i don't think i'm waiting for the regret i think the regret came the minute you saying anal to me.

Sorry. But again, it has nothing to do with you. I thought it was just more of like putting it out there. Like, I guess ass. I should have said ass. Yeah, yeah.

Like I sacrificed my driver's license. I mean, next time I get pulled over, the cop's going to think I was, who knows what he's going to think. By the way, you should check your picture tomorrow. I might change.

Yeah. Yeah. He might slowly start going into like, of your face is going to be your ass oh man well let's put the lid on this and uh let's move right on holy shit um so you're engaged now speaking of yes of a not a no i wasn't going to say of you know it's passion and love and you're your how's that feel man it's it feels great which by the way it's not even and in terms of like the whole like going like oh i appreciate or I like, you know, like Canadian culture.

You know, like she's actually not Latina. She's from North Carolina. Oh, wow. Okay. She's like, you know, like born and raised over there. Yeah. And I, and yeah, it's great. I mean, we proposed in, or I proposed to her in Italy last year.

Italy. Why Italy? Well, I went there because a friend of mine was getting married. And I was like, well, since I'm going ready to go in there. And it's been, you know, five years with her, stuff like that. I was like, let me just use this as another. a way to propose to her. So we went to Florence after the wedding,

and that's where I proposed to her. I don't know. Have you ever been to Florence before? No, but I've been to Italy a few times. Okay. Not to Florence. But anywhere you go in Italy is like super well. Italy.

Well, Italy, Florence is in Italy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you've been to other parts in Italy? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Rome.

Rome. Yeah. Where'd they do the Olympics in Torino? Torino. Torino. I was in Torino. Torino. That's where the wedding was.

Alba. Alba. Alba. Alba. Alba. I was in Alba. You, holy smokes. Yeah.

That's where the actually city was in the Alba was where the wedding was, which was great. I loved it. That's amazing. That's where the wines, they bought a Bocela, all the Nutella comes from all that stuff. Nutella? Oh, yeah. All the hazelnut fields are there. Exactly.

And I'm allergic to hazelnuts. She's too. She has a trinot allergy, which all the tree nuts. Sounds like a lot of similarities between me and her. She had Tinder? Yeah. No, she was. She was.

Not anymore. Sorry. But hey, she might have a. Actually, she might have, you know, an older sister, older cousin, you know, you might. Wow. Huh? Huh? I don't know.

I might be in recovery for a while after that chant, but we'll see. We'll see. Okay. Not to throw anyone under the bus, but just, you know, everyone, what's the biggest plus would you say of your beautiful fiancé? When you think of her, what's one of the top? things where you go oh yeah that she's got this that's my favorite yeah i think it's the fact that she's calm like oh yeah just like because i'm i mean my old personality i'm very like up and down like very like you know like sometimes paranoid sometimes i go like i feel them and then go and then

i get like angry quick and then i go like so it's like she's like a very like the like the stream of like keeping me calm yeah and that's one of the few the first things that i really when I started going out with her that I was like, oh, this works for me because before I had other girlfriends that actually were Latin and were a little more like like me and like and I can't

that's just too much. That's that spice I was talking about. You can have too much spice. You can have too much spice in life. I think to me it's like a relationship has got to be like you know like every two different ingredients that work well together. So it's like for her it's like

it's very bland very you know know like you know not bland but like just she's like the very calm in terms for yeah for sure i mean one example remember we went to uh mexico for one time or our first trip together and like first of all we get there and like we're right you know i get there and we they're their rental car they're like we don't have your rental car and i was like what the fuck i reserved it like that's whole point you flipped and now and started going so it's like just give me fucking just whatever they gave us this like we like like mustin yellow mustin in in in in in Tulum, you know,

which I'm like, why am I driving this thing? So people are going to think, like, have money. Yeah, you know. So, we get there and then I'm like,

I remember like, I couldn't find the keys when we parked in the hotel. And I was like, going like, all right, now we're going to, now we're going to, now we're going to,

like, well, now I'm going to have to move here. Like, that's my whole thing. Like I lost it. And then she's like, no,

just, did you check your bag? And I'm like, oh, they're right there. And I'm like, okay. You know, So it's like I, so that example of that, like that to me, that's the biggest thing that I need in my life.

And I think especially being stand up and all that stuff, we're very into our heads. Yeah. So I need somebody to kind of like be nice. And she's very nice too, like a nice person. I love you use that word need, you know? That's one of the things that I think really fills in a relationship because we all have these voids. We all have areas that we're not necessarily good at or we're lacking in. and when you can find a partner and you can fill a need,

that word need in them and they can fill one in you, that's a really good thing. And without getting you in trouble on the opposite end of the spectrum, and everyone has it, and you don't have to say it if you don't want, because I don't want you to get it. But is there any red flag thing? And I'm not talking anything deep,

but something silly like, you know, I don't know, she has seven cats or she has to fluff her pillow every night. Is there anything you can see that's like, man, that's something we're going to have to deal with. Man, I, there's definitely, there was definitely some stuff. I mean, I'm trying to remember, I don't know if we already, like, it's been fixed or not or like, oh, yeah. Here we go. Yeah, there's, I mean, she, like, sometimes leaves the, when she, her hair, like, the hairs of her, like, puts him in the toilet, you know, but, like, doesn't flush it.

Wait, what hair? Yeah, the long hair, you know, like, hair. Oh, when she's brushing. Well, she's brushing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so she takes it out of the brush and puts it on the toilet. Oh, my God. Have you seen the movie The Ring?

Yes. Yeah, no, exactly. But my thing is, like, I'm going like, flush it. And she's like, no, because we've got to conserve water. I'm like, flush it. And by the way, we just talked about La La Lelena, who lives in the water. That's right. She's got that crazy girl from the ring hair.

Dude, that's terrifying. Exactly. I mean, I'm always. been a thing of like hairs i don't hair's to me i'm always is a very i even one time wrote a bit about hairs in the wall of the shower i don't like hair like hairs yeah i mean i mean they're creepy they're just too much i mean i like hair where it's supposed to be yeah you don't want to wake up in the middle of the night you got to go pee and there's a best and flick on the light and there's a fresh bowl of hair chowder just sitting there exactly and especially if you have to sit

exactly if you've watched enough horror movies you know that hair's going to crawl out of the water and go inside your body and then you become the hair and then you can't talk because the hair's stuck and you know and then you become the the doctor mr it uncle it from adam's family yeah yeah have you ever had a bad experience with like a hair in like hey everybody who wants to have better sex no yes yes the answer is yes you always want to have better sex that's what you you want it to be better not worse trust me and adam and eve is often offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.

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Is there anyone that just stuck in your head that's you're like, I think there was one where like where I was just eating, it was like inside. I don't know if it was a cookie or like a pizza or something like it was inside. So it wasn't that the hair like fell while they were. It was baked in. It was baked in.

And that's where you go. go like, oh, this is, because, I mean, every hair is bad in the food, but like, that one's like, oh, this has been for a while. Like, how long has this hair been in there? You know what I mean? And he got cooked. So it's now, it's just the particles of the hair are now involving the other things. So it's like, yeah, I almost threw up on that one.

They got cooked in. Cooked in. There's nothing bad. That's worse than fucking. Although hair is, it's protein, right? So maybe in a way, if you want to look at the bright side, it's helping you live. I guess. I mean, well, and that's another thing to always go, like, when we're,

whenever we eat outside or whatever it's like if you actually do think all the nasty shit that happens in those kids you can never eat outside like i sometimes you have to turn be ignorant and be like whatever i'm just gonna pretend that it's like because because i work not i work i remember i got my one of my good friends worked in a restaurant in back in dc where i live and i went and it was just like there there was like a rats there was an actual rat guy like a rat boy goes just it was like a rap boy he was just he literally like it was like this guy i don't know if he spoke english or not but like and all he did was just like washed dishes and i was like hey he's like and he didn't say anything i'm like what and there was like and everything was disgusting

and there was like a rat like a natural i was like on the table no like walking around the floor oh wow and this is like a nice italian restaurant i was in a restaurant in um san francis Have you ever been in that Bay Area, like the tourist area where all the restaurants are on the seals? Yeah. And I went into a fancy, like, seafood restaurant with my buddy, and we went to have lobster. And they put us by this window, but the window looked out into the alleyway behind. And I'm not kidding, we were eating dinner and we looked at. We go, oh, my God, there's a rat.

And then another one and another one. We saw about 45 rats running up, like between us and the wall. And we're sitting there eating like a fancy. It was like, come on. That's disgusting. And I was, here's the use one that happened in Malibu. I went with a buddy, a couple of buddies up to Malibu once. And we're in a restaurant.

And my buddy trying to be the healthy guy in order to salad. Yeah. So he's eating the salad. And, and all of a sudden I look and I see something moving on his lip. Like right here, he had a little bit of stubble. And I go, what the hell? is that and he grabs it and he goes oh it's just a bug and i go dude that's a maggot oh no there was a maggot came off the salad and was crawling on on the edge of his mouth and he continued to eat

the salad what he didn't care i told him i said dude i know maggots i've worked in the bush i've seen my fair share of dead animals from bears that's not just one there's more well not only that but it was a maggot it was in your food and you're going to keep eating he kept eating he didn't it? No, he just ate the damn thing. He was,

oh, he's like, oh, it's just a bug. Oh, and a bug is doable. Yeah,

because, no, maggots are, yeah, they're basically the, don't they come from like, like, spoil food?

Like, they're just, yeah, there's not like, like an ant that has protein. Yeah, like who's cooking back there, Lallorana?

Maybe, La Lerrena. But I also one time found one, actually a, a screwdriver. Not like a screwdriver. Like a screwdriver. Like a,

No, no, screw, just a screw. Oh, screw. Sorry, but I did find a screw. Like, I was true. Yeah. What were you eating? A salad, too. And I was eating and I'm like, what is this?

And it was like a screw. It's actually from like a comedy club. I'm not going to say which one. How big was the screw? No, no, like a little one. Like the little screw, but still, like what the fuck? I could have swallowed that. Yeah.

You know? And I told the people, they're like, oh, that's weird. how funny would it have been if you swallowed the screw go to the hospital you get the x-ray and the doctor goes dude you're screwed or the doctor goes like well there's only one thing to do and he pulls our screwdriver he's like what sorry stabbed you in the stomach just let's get that out of there here we go it's like which is i mean that's my thing now how many stuff do we have we eating that like that's where i go like that's probably like is it digest you know like is it digested do we just oh yeah like i mean like what's the is there a thing that you know because you know

sometimes you see people like you know but like especially like dogs for example they eat a lot of shit and they're fine and they actually will eat shit i've seen dogs eat their own oh yeah or throw up i got a dog but here's the thing the human stomach doesn't care really what goes in there. Like, do you ever watch that old show Fear Factor that Joe Roget? Yeah. Like they had people eating cows eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And like, you know, jellyfish piss and, you know, hippopotamus lips and who knows what else. That's the thing. We only get psychological about it. But the stomach just goes, what can I extract from this? What, what energy, what protein, what vitamins? So you can almost put anything in there. Yeah, because we're animals at the end of the day. So it's like, we're eating.

It's just too. it's just the society has put like you cannot eat this type of food because it's like it's bad or whatever but like no you you're you can eat it and you're probably going to be fine and survive yeah it's like whatever so it's like it is true like I think it's like it's just I mean I don't I mean I think it obviously if you're not you can eat shit I mean I don't think you can eat shit well if you're German you might be able to they love the scat movies yeah oh really is that is that a uh is that from uh wuffeland yeah yeah the wufelland yeah the shit wolf And whatever that means, yeah, sounded right.

Yeah. What would you say is the weirdest, like, craziest thing you ate on purpose in your life? Anything crazy? Man, I think, well, I remember just from one time I went to Ecuador. Oh, right away. And there we went to this park called the city called Guayaquil, which is like kind of like the coast, the beach, kind of like, you know yeah I went to like a restaurant kind of like in Malibu like but it was kind of like

a ceviche restaurant thing there had savages and I was like yeah let me eat the the uh the mix like give me the full one like it has everything on it and then even like I mean the people are where they were like you sure like you know like nobody orders that I'm like yeah just give it to me because it had like every whatever so there was nothing as specific there but it was just a combination of a lot of like seafood and a lot of crazy shit shit that I've found and I'm like so obviously I mean I was in the bathroom for like two days straight after that oh so you just piled I just piled it in I was like I also ate one time like there's this thing in Venezuela called chiguiere which is like it's like

kind of like a what is those animal like a possumish kind of thing so I ate that and it's called chiguida chigweedy chigweedy chigweedy and it's a possum I mean I mean, it's kind of like a catapipe of kind of thing like that. And it's kind of like, it's very coarse and very hard. I didn't like it. You know, was it on a menu or were you just out climbing tree? No, no, no, it was a thing just, it was part of like the, there's this thing called in Venezuela called Arepas, which is like a thing that you can put stuff in it. You can put cheese, meat, whatever it is.

Or a possum. And a post. So there was like, one of the choices where, like, you can also put some of that. And I was like, yeah, that's not like. That one. Yeah. Weird. Yeah.

Do you like the steak, the shrimp, or the tree rat? Exactly. Wow. But again, going back to like in that, I mean, that's a thing that people eat over there and it's fine. And it's like, it probably's got a lot of proteins. I don't know. Kind of like a pig slash pose something, you know. So it's not.

What about you? Well, I ate once. I was in Cambodia. Oh, okay. And I was offered a tarantula. Like a fried, like deep fried tarantula. Yeah. And I ate it

I ate part of it I couldn't I couldn't eat the whole thing And what's that because did it taste good Or just because you knew that it's a tarantula It's kind of like that thing You know if I didn't know it was a tarantula I probably would have been like you said Just like whatever

Yeah But I knew it was a tarantula And I could see it was a tree You know these things have legs Yeah yeah I'm like so you So it's a full they don't cut it? No it was the full spider

It was like a full like I picked it up Like a taco Oh, God. Yeah, it was weird, man. I didn't get through it. No, no, no. But like I said, and what does it taste?

Because it was like, it tastes like chicken. Yeah. Is that the thing? Tasted probably like Satan's asshole. Okay. Yeah. All right.

I probably like it. After he'd spent the night at Taco Bar, yeah, yeah, it's pretty rough. It's pretty rough. I've eaten rabbit. Have you eaten rabbit? Rabbit's delicious. Right?

It's delicious. In France and Switzerland. Ooh, I love. Mushroom sauce, Oh, man. It's so good. Rabbit is amazing. Because people don't like it because they see rabbits.

and they're cute, you know, they're pretty, but like, but they're delicious. They're delicious. So good. If you know how to cook it well. Oh, it's, and then you guys, you know this stuff, right? Tahin. Yes, that's Mexican, but I know it. Yeah, it's like, like, Latin people I noticed, like, put it on all kinds of things.

And, like, I think in fruits, they put it on fruits. I've seen it put it on, on everything. They had some Latino friends. They put it on fruit. I was at a Latino funeral and they were sprinkling it on the corpse. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. And the courts went like this, right?

Yeah. he sneezed yeah no I do I mean they do I think that's a very land thing of like putting like very like a lot of stuff on it you know like like you cook the thing and then it's like let me add more shit to it you know what I mean I'm it's like an accent thing yeah you know you could also put that on on people too really yeah like if you want to be a passion you know like in a passionate kind of thing so this is my thing that you may use you know for your passion for your sands what if I were to Maybe put a line out and snort it. That could work too.

Yeah. Did I try it? Yeah, let's do it. Okay. All right. What is, you have a, oh, I thought you're going to bring a mirror. No, I got a piece of paper, though. I was like, what are you going to have mirror?

Let's try it, man. Well, this is this dangerous? Will it mess me up? No, I think it should know. I mean, what's the number here? What's the nearest phone? Just in case? what have you ever snorted it no i never uh i mean i think this is a thing that you

obviously put in and uh also like on the rims of margaritas or something right like on the you know so you should necessarily snort it you let's try i think it's kind of like snorting like salt okay so i don't try it oh wow okay you got uh okay is you're gonna put some narco music in here in the post should i think it's some narco music who am i talking to. Did I really do this? I think it's like, let me do a little bit.

I don't know. You good? I don't know. I mean, you actually look younger. They do? Yeah. It's like a little weird.

Yeah? You're, you have more chest. How's my skin? It looks great. It does? Yeah, it should do more. Let me try another bump.

Yeah, just another bump, man. You know the first bomb never works. What? On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you say I look right now in terms of good looks? 15. Wow. Yeah. So you're saying the Taheen snorting worked.

It works, man. I'm telling you. I mean, I think it's just me. Look at everybody will know in camera and they can see that the huge difference. between, you know, so I would just do that every day. Thanks, buddy. Every morning and before you go to sleep twice at night. Hey, buddy?

Yeah. Thanks, man. Thanks, man. Of course, I'm here for it. Whenever, whenever you want anything, just let me know. Hey, bud? Yeah. Thanks for your support, man.

Wow. Dude. Jesus. That was kind of good. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, it feels like it wore. off kind of quick. Yeah, yeah.

Do I look a little flushed or anything? No, I mean, no, no, no. You're, you're, yeah, you look great. Okay. Just like your old self. Actually, that's like a good facial. That's actually the facials that people do back in the, in the Amazon jungles. Really?

Mm-hmm. They snore Tahin, and then they just go into the jungles for like two hours and come back, and they're just a new, you know. That's actually the house of how they, They choose who's going to be the next dad of the tribe. That's cool. It's cool. You know, I sat down with you today thinking, let's have a nice talk.

Let's have some giggles. Let's have a laugh. Let's get to know each other more. And I didn't think it would turn into me like looking good and feeling good. It's kind of like an ayahuasca experience. Like I feel like I'm your shaman. Yeah. You know, this turned to be like I'm like, you know, you're doing all this drugs and Tahin and.

and just like Sayona and La Jorone and all this stuff. And I'm just like, I'm guiding you. Shaman. I look at you though. The way, just in this light, you're maybe my Shaman Doherty, but. Shannon, like Beverly Hills now? Shannon Doherty. Shaman Doherty.

Shaman Doherty, yes. Yeah, because she's also from the witches. Yeah. It's nice. Thanks for helping me through that. Of course, man. I'm going to put, by the way, I'm going to put my shoes off. my shoes on again okay all right great now you mentioned you had a dog yes tell me about you how you

feel about dogs because some people hate them some people love them i love them i love i mean this is my first time that i have because actually it's my step dog because what yeah because it was my fiancees we move in together all right she had a dog and a cat okay combo you know so is the cat still in the picture oh yeah yeah okay yeah what do you like better though dogs 100% how come well i mean first of all a dogs they appreciate that they're living with you for free right like they you know they always know like if they fuck up they're out yeah right but cats they think like you're the slave

like you're the like they don't you know so that i hate you know so so much attitude it's complete attitude man i can even and you can even like like my cat is uh i feel like from what i've i think my uncle's a vet and i think her like cats like female cats are even more annoying that like male cats are a little more like you can touch them a little more and whatever okay because they don't like to be like really like well my cat she like she like only wants to be pet here but if you pet her here she's like you know scratches you and whatever you know like yeah but i don't think you really have the right to be touching her tits well i mean i was actually her stomach but yeah i think i saw some yeah i think you were really

groping the cat really well but but heading and then there's groping but but but If they go like this and they go like that, isn't that a sign of like, hey, just touch me? Yeah, that's probably on them. On them, right? Yeah. And is that what they were doing? That's what she does all the time.

Okay. But then she's like, it scratches me if I do it, you know? So she only likes in the head. Okay. But dogs, you know, you can just do whatever you want with them and they're cool with it. You know what I mean? And I love that too.

What's the cat's name? I almost don't want to hear it. Bonnie Like, B-O-N, like Bonnie and Clyde. Okay. Yeah. And the dog's name? Stanley.

Okay. Those are okay. What, you thought it was going to be like fluffy and... I don't know. Some people are the worst names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But those ones are palatable. Those are...

Okay, what kind of dog is it? So it's kind of like a little... I don't know. I mean, like a little mini-mix poodle with something else. Like it's like a medium dog. Like a small medium... dog yeah so it's a mix so okay okay but it's it looks cute and it's nice and you can hold it and you can pick it up and it's like you know so it's it's not like a big big dog or whatever but it's

it's very uh the only thing about is very very anxious only wants to go out with my fiancee whenever like i can't take him out if she's stay in the house have you tried grabbing its tits he's a man so i did grab his dick yeah he's a little his little penis you grab it The lipstick. The lipstick, yes. Well, no, no, you know, not on, when it's a lipstick comes out, I move away. Okay, okay. You always, that's where I just move back up.

But you can't really see a dog's thing until it comes out, though. Isn't that right? No, but, wait, wait, okay. So is the penis, what's, you know, like a dog has a penis. Yeah. But then the pink thing comes out. That's the penis guy. So what's the thing that's never the penis?

That's just a skin flap, a hairy skin flap. Think of a moldy falafel in the back of your face. I thought that was the penis. And then when the pink thing comes out, is that means that they're hard. Yeah, it's the hard penis. Yeah, but like in a human, like if you see a penis hanging out, it's a penis.

Right. So that's what dogs have, like male dogs, right? They're just, their penis are all the time. I think, no, I think their penis is always concealed inside of that skin flap. Yeah, but, but it's still, but the skin flap is still the penis. Yeah, I think it's the outer penis. It's like, it's like, just, I mean,

are we having a dog penis argument here? Yeah, I mean, because I always thought they, their penises were out all the time. I'm just saying, but you're saying when the pink thing comes out, that's when the actual penis comes out. I think that pink thing, that's why they call it the lipstick, because it comes out of the skin flap. I don't think the flap, it's like,

if you ever wrapped a chamois around your penis, people would say, hey, look at the shamwow. Of course. But if you had a shamrow wrapped around your penis and you're watching a dirty movie, they'd go, oh, look at the lipstick coming out. But so it's more like a circumcised, uncircised penis. No?

No? Because when the, isn't the flap comes out? I think that's a flat. If you look at the undercarriage of a male dog, you can definitely see they're nuts, okay? Yeah. Their nuts probably look like yours or mine after a game of rugby, right? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, rugby, but, yeah, of course. Or actually, I do more Australian football. Okay, right, right? Whatever, they're muddy. Okay, they're dirty, they're salty, and they're muddy, and they're hairy. But then you got kind of that flap of skin, and there is a little opening. Yes. I don't know if it's a vulva or if it's a wiener hole.

I don't know what we can call it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're not seeing the penis at that point. The penis is hidden in the cave. And then when you start dancing around in your speed or whatever you do, out comes the lipstick and that this thing here is the dog penis got it got are you seeing this yeah yeah yes I'm seeing well look a little closer because I don't want you to forget that's the dog penis and now it's just a skin flap it's just a magic trick

that you do to kids well it could be yeah so there you go got it got it I was thought the penis was still the overall the whole thing not just the pink thing because I think because obviously dogs are walking around naked the whole time Yeah. You know, so I felt like it's just a person working on naked. Well, I think you're having some penis confusion because if that penis was hanging out all the time, like, think of that opening as the fly, the zipper in our pants. Oh, got it. Now, we don't walk around with the thing, you know, the zipper.

Well, whoa, you are kind of spicy. You ever put some tahin on it? Of course I did. Holy sex in the city. I don't know how, I mean, I'm putting it for someone else. Yeah, that's true. I don't know. I don't know why.

good god have you ever been in the park and you see like two dogs just going at it oh yeah yeah and it's funny because like they don't care but they don't there's no so from what i've known they don't have any pleasure right they just don't i thought dolphins were the ones that and feel like like actual orgasms really yeah how do you know that i read that or i remember seen that in like in discovery channel or something shark week wait a minute Shark Week is dedicated to sharks. Have you been watching dolphin porn, bro? Yeah.

Oh, I hate when they reach orgasm. Right? Just that twisted up, flipper face. It's in that, that's the same face I put when I reach orgasm. Really? I mean, there's nothing pretty about a man having orgasm, right? Like female, like woman, like, it's pretty. Like, you're like, you, like, man is just, like, disgusting.

It's kind of like you're turning to. some kind of like Frankenstein. Yeah, it's like you ever see when guys who jump out of an airplane to go parachuting and right of the track, yeah, exactly. That's what the man's orgasm looks like. It's just horrible.

You just want them to splat into the ground and get it over with, right? Which I feel bad for a woman just looking at this and going like, oh, what the fuck? Yeah, it's like a dog sticking set out the window in a moving car. Yeah, yeah. but yeah dogs don't have pleasure so i feel like they're always like wait is that scientific how

do we know that i mean i i because i feel like even when you like you said in the park when they're doing it's just like they're very they're not they're just going like you know like it's just like a like a like it's like well i'm just doing it because nature calls it but they're not going like you know like i feel like they have more pleasure eating a bone than fucking like you know they're giving the bone yeah but isn't that you man you but they do go for it they do i mean I mean, they do go for it. I mean, it looks like they're having fun, but I don't know. Yeah, I think you're right because if animals got pleasure doing that.

Imagine all the fucking. That's all they do because they have no rules. Of course. They got no laws. They just do it all the time. Exactly. That's why I feel like we're the only ones and dolphins who are. Yeah, you keep going back to dolphins.

I'm telling you, dolphins. I'm telling you, I've read this. I mean, we can Google it later. It feels golf, dolphins are the ones who can feel pleasure when they're having sex. Really? Yeah, I think that's the only animal that does that, because they're very intelligent. Yeah, they say they're the second smartest creatures on planet Earth.

Yeah, so I think when God was making, you know, the humans, they're like, I think, I think dolphins were the pre, were the thing before humans. Maybe. Maybe he's going like, well, I think it's like, oh, fuck, this animal can't live on land. Let me just make, and that's what the male came in, you know. But then he still had the same pleasures Because it is Imagine like if every man

Every dog Every elephant were having pleasure Every time they were fucking Yeah, that's all they do That's all they do They wouldn't eat Nobody would do anything But I think isn't there some species

Of monkeys That are always just doing it Like I've seen Discovery Channel Footage of monkeys Like just You know they live in these big tribes Like 50 I've seen certain monkeys

Where they're just grabbing each other all day I think there's a species Of like pygmy chimpanzees panzies or something? It's not the regular big chimps. There's like this subspecies and I saw a thing where they're just plowing all the time. Yeah, I could, I mean, well, it's also like,

I see, I think the smaller ones, I think are the ones that plow the most. They plow the most. Yeah, because they're just like, because there's also quicker too, because I feel like when you're the bigger, you got to take more of a time thing, right? Plus also, it's stronger.

You got to, I don't know, like, you got to, like, I don't know if what's a monkey etiquette to, to fuck. I think there's a hierarchy in the monkey tribe. So I think the big males... Like lions? Yeah. So I think the big males have the right to mate.

And so what you were saying, the little ones probably sneak in, do like a power slam and get out of there before Big Daddy finds out. They're like hyenas, but in monkeys. Like they eat, they finish at the rest. Oh, yeah. Right? Like maybe the big monkey, you know, finishes in him. They're like, fuck it.

Yeah. You know, go in there and finish like, and the other. I always wonder, like, how do, what's the thing to become the biggest monkey to be able to have sex? Like, what do they have? Well, how do they pick who's it has the highest ranking? I think it's all about, like, physicalness. It's like the biggest, the strongest in nature always dominates. And in humans.

Humans not the case. I mean, look at every lead singer from every rock band you've ever seen. Most of them look like, you know, crackheads from under a... bridge with severe acne and rickets and they're plowing the hottest girls on planet earth so status yeah it's status and it's just imagery right it's like you know axel rose was this high and looked like he just walked off the set of lord of the rings you know like an elf reject and he's plowing like the best models on prince was also very small but prince was sort of sexy but he had style he has style he had a he had a sensuality about him he's sort of like but some of these guys man like

You know, the drummer from Mario Speedwagon. I mean, this guy shouldn't be getting tail. This guy should be, you know, skinning pumpkins at a pumpkin patch. I mean, he has no right. That is true. That is true. He has no right, but he's the drummer from Mario Speedwagon. Yeah, because the monkey, because, yeah, because if you're a little monkey, you're fucked.

You're fucked. Yeah, you're like, you can't, like the monkey, imagine the little monkey going like, but look at me. I can fucking, look, I got stowed. Yeah. No, get the fuck out. Gone. Yeah. Yeah. I got to go back to hair real quick because we're talking about monkeys.

And we travel, right? We do shows on the... By the way, Francisco, I should have set this up earlier, is an amazing stand-up comedian. We work together all the time at the comedy store and at the Laugh Factory here in Hollywood. And later on we'll get you to plug your dates. But you got to go see him. You got to go check out his website. Go see him do stand-up.

We'll give you information on that in a bit, but we travel a lot. We go to these hotels. And worse almost than getting hair and food, buddy, you ever get to your hotel room? You pulled down the sheets. You're like, oh, nice fresh bed. And there's a hair right in the sheets.

Yeah, yeah, no, I can't. Actually, you know what? Oh, it just happened to me. It was in San Antonio. Here we go. No, a towel. You know, when you go in the bathroom and they have the stacked towels. Yeah.

So I was taking a shower. I opened the towel and there was like a like a huge like a combination of hairs you know like like a spider like a tarantula of hairs and I'm like okay I threw it like in the floor and I call it. I'm like can you give me some new towels like what the fuck is it was just sitting in the towels but it was like inside the towel like when I opened the towel like somebody planted in there and I that's just another thing to that I don't know if that happens to you when you go hotels and they somebody just left a dump in the in the the toilet. Oh, God. You know what I mean? And at that point, I'm like, I can't. Yeah, you can't.

Because to me, again, it's having the, to me, it's having the ignorance or like the, the fantasy of like, this is a new, like, every time I come to, I want to be like, you build this for me. Yeah. Like, nobody has touched this bed. Nobody has touched this toilet. Yeah. Just pretend, you know. But if I see that, I'm like, oh, now I know. So if you see a dump in the toilet when you go into the room. Change. You know, at Motel 6, they actually have a flush fee. Like, you, well, when you go in, there's automatically a dump in the toilet and you have

to call the front desk. And for $4.99, they'll send someone up to flush you. Yeah. Hey, well, we'll leave the light on for you on the dump in the toilet. We'll leave the light on for you. But sometimes I've had, I've had situations where I've pulled back the covers. Yeah. And it's almost like international house of hair.

It's like I try to guess the ethnicity. Like I've had big long blonde ones. Okay. I've had like I get a really black one. I go, okay, could be Asian. Yeah. I get a big straight, right. Yeah.

And the blonde one, it'll be like, okay, some kind of Norwegian Viking freak or black people's hair. It's that little like sort of curly and sometimes just see those. Is this at the same time? Like, did they have an origin in that room? No, no, no. I've never seen that. But just like the various hairs, it's so weird.

It's almost like a dump. You don't want to think anybody's been there. Actually, you know, well, it's even like, because also there's a lot of, you know, a lot of porn where they, they just rent these rooms and they just, they just. Ooh, they do. Yeah. So it's like, because I, I've seen some poor where you, when I'm like, I think I stayed in that room. What?

Really? Yeah, like there's some like, do you ever like, I'm at, because every time you sleep on those beds, you go like, did somebody just have a full on orgy here before, like, the day before. And did they wash the dish? I don't know if they cleaned them. That happened to me in real life. What?

So when I bought my house, I live over in the hills. And I bought my house like over 20 years ago. Mm-hmm. And when I bought the house, there was, like, someone made a very specific outdoor table. It had like all these little pieces of ceramic in it. So it was very specific. And my, you know, everyone's yard is very specific in the trees. in their yard. And so I bought this beautiful house and I was like, oh, this is so cool. And I started

to invite my friends up, you know, to see the new house. And I guess, I don't know, three or four months in, one of my buddies came up. And he came to the house. And then the next time he came up, he goes, he goes, hey man, I click porn magazines. And he goes, look at this. And here's some girl spread eagle sitting on my table where just yesterday I was eating an egg McMuff. You know what I mean? I was like, what, no. And there's my tree in the background at the house. Dude, it was like shocking.

Wow. It was sort of weird, but almost a little bit sexy, too. Yeah, did you finish the egg bag muffin? I finished it, yeah. That weird? That is weird. But it is true. It is like you see these things and I go like, I mean, like, hopefully, my thing is

always like, hopefully like nobody just did this before. I can already, at least they changed the sheets. Yeah. Because, I mean, like, it's just, that's the thing. Like, I mean, that's, again, I go back to, like, like, ignorance is bliss, man, because if you start thinking about all the shit, you're never, you can't sleep anywhere.

You can't eat anywhere. It doesn't matter. You'll go nuts. And also, like, we're back to going animals. We're our animals. So it's kind of like, we can survive a little hair in the thing. We can survive a lot of it. It's just we're very, we live in a society where we've got thousands of beauty products

and thousands of skin, I go back to like even like I don't know if I could that's a thing that I always make or like you know every time I see like a lot of the rings or some or you know Game of Thrones or anything like that I'm going like in those or even Braveheart I'm going like I just go like everybody just probably stink you know what I mean I'm like and that was normal hygiene yeah everybody just like but so I just like hey what's up it's just shit and like nobody I mean I'm like and that was normal back then. Obviously, we advanced as a society, but, like, I just couldn't, even sometimes, even when

I go, like, see sporting events and then people, like, you know, they after they play the game and they throw it, I'm like, if I'm like, I'm like, I don't want that. I'm like, wash it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm like, yes, I'll take the, LeBron, can you give me a new one? Yeah, yeah. Like, I don't want the, the sweat one, you know. Yeah, but that's DNA, man.

Yeah. Don't forget in the world we live in now. You can probably cultivate that DNA and sell it for a fortune. Oh, yeah, that's right. Like you squeeze his sweat into little vials like this big. And, hey, who wants some LeBron DNA? Wow, I could sell. That's right.

That's like a whole new chapter to Jurassic Park. Right? Wow. Create your own basketball team. I could do that. That's right. I could sell. I mean, that's actually a thing that I could definitely do in Venezuela, like sell it in the beach.

Oh, yeah. Just walking around and be like, yeah. LeBron, LeBron, DNA. Oh, yeah. I run DNA. That as well as, like, it's, that country's been so up and down and tumultuous. It sucks because it was like in the, when I was born there, you know, 80s, 90s, that was like the best, one of the best countries in South America.

Yeah, yeah. Like economically, you know, and everything, everybody would move there. And I got corrupt. And then it got corrupt. And now it's like one of the worst ones. Yeah, like, you know, it sucks like, coups and all that, the oil. It's just a. combination of just a bunch of corrupt and people taking advantage and then people and all

this making people ignorant too because then they don't know like yeah because that's what it is you get used to like a one i mean there's people that been born there since this new government took over and they don't even know anything else yeah yeah it's i mean i even imagine other countries like that where like you don't like here yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well you don't know anything else and it's like no it should not be you don't have to wait three hours to go to supermarkets to find, you know, that's not normal. Yeah. But if you're born in that, you think that's the normal shit.

And then you just, you're in it and, and it perpetuates what's happening. And that's, that's that thin line between civility and politics and society where it's like, if you let it slip through the cracks, if you, if you let that balance go out of whack somewhere, it can be very hard to get it back. Because, yeah, because, I mean, that's what happened myself. Once it goes back, then it's like, it. It's like anything. It takes so much,

it takes so much time to build something good. But, like, if you let it, like, crumble, then it's like, you're back to zero again. And now, like, it's a complete, like, change of culture and society to turn that thing. You can't just, like, one day and be like,

you know, it's a complete, just the way that it's, you know, that it big, that it was good. It's, you know,

you have to make it good again and it takes such a long time to do that. That's what scares me about, because I came to this country from Canada. Yeah. And when I came to the, U.S., you know, it was sort of like this, you know, kind of like went up and down. There were little blips, but there was a kind of a flow to it.

It was even keeled. There were little spikes here and there, but now I feel like it's like this. And I feel like we're getting towards that critical place where what's happening here? I'm exactly this, it's really scary. Because I came here, yeah, I'm, I mean, like 20 years ago. And like when I came, I mean, I was a young kid, but like, I remember even not, no, no, there nothing talk about politics like growing up like when I was like you know middle school in high school there was never a thing that I was like which back in Venezuela that's what

you always grew up with like how because the government was bad it rules basically everything in your life so you're always talking about it yeah yeah and now like yeah the past couple of years it's been like that where like you talk about the government you know like and it's like you said it's like very up and down, very, like, like, all this, like, weird, like, like, like, um, uh, exaggerations of like, you know, beliefs and things. It's like, there's nothing in the middle. Like, it's like, you either belong to this and that's it or you belong to that. You cannot have both.

And it's just, yeah, it is scary because I go, like, it, it reminds me a lot of like, what happened in, in Venezuela. I just even from, because of, like, this whole, like, you know, populism and I'm, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and just, like, believing in somebody that's, like, and that's it. Yeah. Not even, like, hold them accountable for anything, you know? Yeah, that's just crazy. And when you were talking about all that, I just, that's what happened.

I just sort of took Venezuela out of the picture and applied it to here. Mm-hmm. And what scared me is that almost everything you were saying, you look around and we're getting to that edge. Exactly. And it's not just one party or this part. It's all of it. Exactly. And a lot of people are just sitting.

here going what's happening you know it is frightening because you know you don't want to lose what this country was built on exactly represents exactly and it always sort of stood out from the rest of the world as being like this but now it feels like it's starting to become part of this caldron of chaos exactly yeah no it's it's sad because yeah that's the reason that that the u.s was always been on top for all this time because of that and now like but now you're doing the stuff that other countries that are not and it's kind of like and it starts from here

because that's the problem because people go like you know all these parties and all these politicians are blaming the outside and it's like that's kind of like now it's here starts here it's like you gotta just

and there's got to be some kind of civility too that's the thing that's what's sad too it's like like the politicians are becoming more like third world country politicians like there's no civility you just say what I make fun of the wives of the person

make fun like there's no like tell lies there's no truth there's nothing and awful and and and and is and that what I mean like when becomes when you take these people that are not educated or stuff like that and it's because then it's easy to turn them yeah because there you go like oh yeah I believe in that because it says right here

in some blog that some other person wrote and I believe that it's like no man like you cannot just take you know there's got to be like a truth that's a real truth, you know, and believe it's like, you know, I was right, I was wrong, this is good, this is bad, it's fine to do that. It just can be like a lot of, I think politics here a lot, it's kind of like sports where like people support one team, even if they suck. Yeah, it's very tribal. And it's kind of like, no, it's fine to say, I don't like you because you do this stuff and I like this because it's different, whatever, you know.

Well, yeah, I felt like up until maybe even just about seven or eight years. ago it was very sort of push and pull yeah and it was incumbent on the people in power and and the the citizens of this country to monitor it and make sure it kind of stayed like this and that was okay because that that worked and there was a civility to it there was a level playing field for it but now it feels like the wheels have fallen off yeah like you said ever anything goes and there's no one kind of writing the ship anymore, and it's almost gone too far out into turbulent seas where there's no one that can bring it back, even if someone came in who was a genius or some kind of politician that knew how to do it. I think it'd be almost impossible because

they'd get crucified trying to. And the thing is like, and what's scary is like it feels like this is where the populist leaders like in history, that's where they took, they cover. and then it becomes a whole thing of like it's me and that's it and kind of like I would like the tatorship in a way kind of like yeah this is why and then it becomes a thing where like oh then you cannot say anything about the government because then you go to jail or you get whatever you get yeah you know and then and that's where I feel like it's going it's happening now it's happening because like there's no because if nobody wants to work together then one person that's the more popular one are going to and people and that's the problem it's like people in this

they go into extremes. You know, so what happened in Venezuela. It became a thing where, like, there was so much corruption by the rich politicians that poor people started going like,

what the fuck? And that's why when somebody like Chavez came out of the woodworks, they're like, yes, I want this because it's completely different. It's not a politician. It's somebody from the military, somebody that looks like us,

somebody that's not rich. And that's why they could. But then it becomes another where, like this person they don't they don't they don't use it from that power from good but they just use it for their own and it's just and it's just like oh fuck and it just becomes a whole fucking other mess it's sad because as we just alluded to america's been really good at maintaining that balance and now we're in a weird time and and most people just watch the news and they see it happening but they go well how do i change it and you know what i don't have time to change it i got to get to the ball yes exactly

And because that's the thing, because it's also like, it becomes, that's one thing. It becomes like a third world country mindset of like, I cannot, you know, and I have a bit about when you come from a third world countries, you're resourceful because nothing works. Right. So you always have to find a way to like live and survive because you can depend on the government. You can depend on the hospital network and you can't depend. So you got to find ways.

So like, I feel like this is what's happening now. We're like, well, fuck it. It's not going to work. So I got to do my own shit because that's the only way I can survive, you know? So because it's gotten so bad to the, to worry, like where people don't even want to put any effort or anything like that. And also this whole ideology is where it comes to, like,

we're also, and also, oh, you just mentioned the news. I feel like that's another horrible thing that's happening. We're like, like, news and now is, like, it's become an opinion piece. Yeah. And, like, that's not news. No news left, yeah. Like, to me, like, every fucking CNN, Fox. they're all like you go on there it's like one person it's like me telling like what I think about

the news that's not news and then but then these people read it as news and they believe so then like so then it becomes a where you watch stuff just to just for somebody else that believes like you tells you that you're right right but doesn't mean that you're right yeah and then if you don't kind of agree with their position regardless of what platform it's on then not only do they force that on you but they also kind of make you feel bad for not getting in lockstep with them. It's really messy, man. And there's this guys that do in TechTark, the good liars, I don't know if you've seen it. They do, they're great.

They do interview. They go to this, like, mostly like Trump things, and they go and they ask these people, like, like, for example, they had one about this guy, I guess, Magistrian or something that was running in Pennsylvania or something. And they're like, and they're like, and they're asking real people, like, so what do you? think so like you believe in democracy right of like okay so if you loses you're gonna accept it no there's gonna be something there's gonna be a something happening like but you just said that you that you're yeah no but if so if you win you're fine with it yeah but if you it's like then yeah it's like they you cannot win like there's there's gonna be a right

and wrong they've eradicated certainty exactly and then that's what I mean we live in this chaos state now where you don't think anything's firm even if someone's a lot You don't know if it's going to last if they're going to get in. It's everything just really topsy-turvy. And other countries in the world, you know, especially the big countries are looking at this going like perfect, you know, because that's how you, it's like taking two friends or taking a family and just throwing like a wrench in the thing.

I'm like, ooh, now I got them to fight against each other. And then I'm in the back going like, yeah, this ship is going to sink. Well, I always say to my friends, you know, when we talk about this stuff, I go, you know, obviously China is the looming, you know, world dominating country. And when you see all this stuff sort of dissolving around us, you've just got to imagine, you almost picture the leaders of communist China sitting on a purchase going, of course. There they go, just let them, just a few more years, a few more years. Patience, it's just the long game. Because especially with China where, like, they combine both where they have capitalism and control of their pop, you know, like, you know, and it's like, that's, I mean, in the mindset of, like, they're running, you know, they have, I mean, they're, I saw this video where, like, there's, like, a drone wandering around, like, in, like, in traffic going, like, you have to, like, telling you, like, a drone will tell you, like, if you were safe of COVID or not, like, like, like, more COVID drone. Yeah.

And so it's like, it's like that. And people are like, you know, they don't even peep about it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see a monkey jump up and fuck one of those drones. That's what I'd like. Oh, man. Well, that's how the planet of ape started. That's where we're headed.

Francisco, before we go, please tell everyone watching where they can find you, where they can see you, what your Instagram, all that cool stuff. Yeah. Well, you know, you can always Google Francisco Ramas. you're going to find it. But you can go to Instagram at Framos Comedy, F. Ramos comedy, also on TikTok and YouTube as well. Also, my website is Francisco E.Ramos.com. You got to put the E in there.

The E, yeah. You know, yeah. So I'll be in Reno, the Laugh Factory in Reno, doing shows during Thanksgiving week. Cool. I'm going to be at the Crystal River Casino that weekend. In Reno? It's just outside of Reno. Oh, great.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to be, I mean, I don't know what the casino is, but it's Reno, the La Fattray. So I'm doing the. Oh, cool. We're both going to be in the same. Perfect. Well, let's have Thanksgiving dinner there. Let's snort some Tahit, bro.

Yeah, you know, I'll bring some, you know, you can sneak it in. Let's do it. Last thing before we go, we do this with all our guests. And you're no different, Francisco. We do this thing. It's called Words from a Wooden Shoe. And this is an authentic Dutch clog. Inside are words on a piece of paper.

Pick one out, and if it reminds you of a story or something that happened in your life, just quickly tell us if there's something in there where it's see what we get. I'm always surprised from words in a wooden shoe. What's your word? Punched. Punched. Well, I always been more like a pacifist, but I guess when I was growing up I did get in some fight. So I do remember one time I was playing,

and I think it's because I used to wear glasses. I looked very nerdy. My dad used to wear me, murder strings with the glasses. Oh, yeah. Total wears Waldo. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I did, I remember I was playing basketball, and I think some guy just threw the glasses out,

and I just went, I think I just went, like, I just punched him, and everybody's like, what the fuck? And I was like, and I just walked away. And I think that's kind of like, people started respecting me after that. Where's Francisco? Yeah, where's Francisco? Don't fuck with him. Where's Francisco?

Wow. Good story. So, yeah. But I don't do that anymore, man. Oh, sure. Because I don't wear glasses. Sure, yeah. You never know.

Don't fuck with a glass. Yeah, sure. Buddy, thank you for being here. Great to see you. Check Francisco out. Come see him at the clubs. Go to his Instagram. Go to his website.

and buddy, so good to have you. That was so much fun. Thanks for having me. And thank you for your compliments when I snorted the Taheen. Of course. I really appreciate it. You look great. Hey, bud?

Yeah? Thanks, man. Of course, man. I'm always here for you. Are we done? I guess. I'm waiting for the music to finish. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sorry. Thank you. Until next time, everybody. Chicken, chalmy, baby? The tahit really, I don't know, I just, I feel a little spicy. Yeah, no, you do. I mean, I think your, I think your personality is finally coming alive. I don't know if, but yeah, you look, I mean, I would definitely get some rest after this.

Some rest, okay. You know, but yeah, you look, I mean, I would not, definitely would not go out at night near kids. You know, just in case. No, I mean, I'm just saying, but, yeah, you look, I mean, it's, no, I'm just saying you look great. I mean, you look more manly. Thanks, boy. Or more, like, more, like, more alpha. Hey, buddy.

Yeah? Thanks, man. Of course, man. I'm always here for you. Thank you.