The Harland Highway - NEW HARLAND HIGHWAY #74 - DEON COLE - Comedian, Actor, Writer - We talk the late show circuit, Dairy Queen, and the writers strike!

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

NEW HARLAND HIGHWAY #74 - DEON COLE - Comedian, Actor, Writer - We talk the late show circuit, Dairy Queen, and the writers strike, hotel showers, and daddy issues! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kenya, Kenya Barris, he is a guy who created blackish and brownish and all that. He did a film, he did a film recently called him. Let me guess, Amish. Are there black Amish? I want to see a blackish, is what I want to see. And I want to see it at about seven-ish, if that's okay. Is there Black Amish? I think we just created a new show.

I think we created a new show, right? Black Amish-ish-ish. Yeah. Oh, my God. Let's put a barn up and celebrate. God, dude. You're riding down the Harland Highway. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show.

Harland Williams. I need them because I have to play a. A few little, you know, theme. Does it look weird with me not having them and you having them? Buddy, you look weird no matter what you do, okay? Come on, party. You son it right out of the gate, a slam. Yeah, sit this thing down, so we don't want to cover your beautiful face.

So should I just, I just, I just wear them. What do you think? So we won't look weird. Well, I'll tell you the one bonus to wearing them, you're going to get to hear the theme music. There it is. Are you a theme music guy? I want to hear it. But do you like theme music?

I do like theme music. I respect it. Oh, on a scale of 1 to 10, where are you with theme music respect? I'm about a good six. Okay. Let's see if this theme music amps up your level at all. All right, let's go. Ladies and gentlemen, uh-huh.

Well, now that's right. You're on the Harland Highway podcast, and this is the theme music. uh huh i like it you do this is great yeah are you up over a six point two or you still this is great yeah this is over where where i'm way over what would you put this one at this is about a good eight about a good eight seven yeah i like it okay i don't think you can go eight and then right back down to seven that's that's not how we don't go up and immediately drop down guy. Come on.

Folks, Dion Cole is here. Come on. Wait. Wait. No, wait. I got. Listen to this.

We got. Hang on. Dion Cole is here. That's your audience. Wait. Oh. The mysterious Diego. There it is.

There it is. Do we love the? What is last? after do for us. You're a comedian, you're a comedic writer. What is the actual sound, the audible noise of people laughing?

Does that do anything to you? I don't know if we've ever examined that. I have no idea. I don't know why that shit is better than sex, man. That's what I was going for. Does this, does this like laughing? Does it make you feel?

It's better than sex. I know that much. That's man. Are you serious? Yeah. It is, yeah, man. So wait a minute. If you're in Denmark and you got the red light district here and you got Johnny

Wooden Shoes Comedy Club right here, you're going into the... I'm going to Johnny Wooden Shoes. Yeah, I'm going to get the last. Dude, you better pull that chapstick out again and put another layer on because that is not the right answer, okay? Laughing is fun, but holy God, when you're riding high on a Thursday night at a Motel 6 in Bakersfield. I'll take that over any three stooges festival.

God, good to have you here, buddy. What a treat. Yes, man, thanks for having me, man. Oh, are you kidding? You know, I respect you and love you, man. You've been a pioneer in this game and, like, laid it down and still laying it down and just being amazing and creative and pushing an envelope. A lot of comics don't do that.

They don't push the envelope. And you've always been a guy to do that. And, you know, I admire and tip my hat to anyone who does that. You know, people, people tend to get, like, caught up in, like, not just making people laugh, but they think people need to laugh a certain way. But you've mastered people just laughing. Like, it don't matter how you laugh, it's you laughing. You know what I mean?

It's not, like, a certain way that you should laugh or a certain thing that you should laugh at. what I like to do on stage is something that you do to as well, which is, you know, it's funny sometimes just not even being funny. You know what I mean? It's just like just sitting in the pocket and just, you know, not doing nothing. Like, it's funny. Like, it's funny not even trying sometimes. Yes.

And you've mastered that so much. And it's always been something that I admired. And I try to do the same. with my sets as well. Oh, man. It's an honor to be in here with you. Dude, thank you. I'll be honest, I've never heard anyone analyze or break down what I do like that.

And it's funny to hear it because in my head, you're kind of saying what I sort of do. I try to find funny where it's not necessarily funny. Exactly. And it's more like an energy and a vibe. And I still love cleverly crafted jokes and words. But I think to your point that there's. this laughter can be just standing there and somehow making them laugh. Yeah, I mean, just standing there, even asking them what they're laughing at.

It's hilarious. And I've seen you do it where you'd be like, what are you laughing at? And it's funny to even ask somebody at a comedy club. And it's like, it's not, it don't necessarily have to be a written, complicated thing, you know? Just simple things that a comic can do that you do very well is what separates you. buddy i gotta tell you right now i've never in my whole life felt like a freshly pop piece of toast but the way you're buttering me i like it i like the feel and uh i might just put another loaf on the table thank you that's so so very complimentary i didn't expect that thank you beyond

you you very nice very nice you want to watch you one that uh people need to watch Oh, jean. I'm not, I'm, for real. I'm telling me, like, I don't even, like, do a gang of podcasts. I just don't. It's just certain people that I like to outdo their podcasts or whatever. And you just, you just want of them, man. Like, every time I see you.

Come on. For real. Thank you. Yeah. No, that is. You're one of those guys, like, for real, for you. I'm very, very honored by your words. Thank you.

That's very, very nice. I appreciate that. Thank you. on. Now, you are not only a stand-up comedian, but you're a well-established writer, and one of the places you were a writer, and I think you had a really good time. I saw you there a few times was Conan O'Brien's show. Yeah, absolutely. Did you love it? And before you answered, did you love it? Just tell me, how did you get into in the door at Conan? Because that's probably a pretty coveted, like Louis C.K. and people like that were writers there at one point.

How did you get in the door at that? So I did a showcase at Aspen Comedy Festival. Remember they used to do that? Yeah, up in the mountains. Right, so I did the comedy festival. And I was on the showcase with like Aziz and a whole bunch of people, man. And we were all like performing. And I think Aziz won and I was following him.

And one of the guys that was there, this guy named J.P. Buck, he remembered me for coming coming after him and you know performing whatever so when conan left new york and he came to la j p began to work for conan and he started thinking about me and he was like man it'd be cool if you come over here and do a set on the tonight show and i was like man hell yeah i'm a big fan of conan like yeah and the tonight show yeah was that your first time on the tonight show yeah first time ever like i was like oh man this is great and so i went and i performed and after that when i got off stage Coney came to my dressing room, and he started talking to me about parking spaces.

Like, he just, like, did I get a good park? What the hell? What did he think you were the valet? I was just on your show, asshole. Park your own car. Parking spaces. He was just talking about some random shit. Like, yeah, nothing to do with the set.

It just was like, did you get good part? Everybody took care of you. Yeah, you know, usually when I'm parking this parking lot, He just went through this whole thing about him parking over there. And I just was like, oh, okay. And we just talked about that shit for a little bit and then he left. And then two weeks later, my manager hit me and was like, oh, he wants you to write for him.

And I was like, what? Why did your manager have to hit you? Why couldn't he just tell you? Call me, call me. Okay. Call me and tell me. A tough fucking manager. Hey, you got a writing job, drop kick to the throat.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, thanks, boss. Jesus, guy. Going to make us some money. Yeah. I was going to take the writing job, but I need to get a tracheotomy now. Thanks. And by the way, if you golf, you're not going in there.

Oh, so that's exciting. That's sort of random, dude. Yeah, random. That's like really random. Yeah, but I heard that later on, years, years later on, I heard that that's what kind of guy he is. Like, he don't, he don't, he don't, ain't the kind of guy to sit back and do it I mean you know Conan very well

Conan is not the kind of guy who you know goes through all the BS you know he goes off energy and vibes if he feels you then who's like Andy Richter like he looked for all kind of co-host and interviewed them and everything and the story that I heard is that he was on the elevator and he was on there and they just was talking about an audition that he Andy had and he was just talking to him on the elevator and that's how they met that's what i heard that was the story that i heard and he and he hired him purvey when you meet a chubby guy on an elevator it ain't about giving him a writing job you want some mayonnaise some relish and a motel six waterbed i mean Conan what's up dog no but they yeah they they hit it

it off and oh that's so he's not type of guy that yeah goes through a lot of you know whatever he he cuts to the chase he takes he feels what he feels you out and he feels you feels your energy yeah and then go from there and did you love the experience what did it take you a little while to assimilate or were you like just in and this is my jam i feel like boom let's go head no hell no i wasn't like that i took me a while long time it took me like months to like kind of like kind of like At least a couple months It took me to catch the rhythm or whatever Because these guys was writing bits like this

They were machines They were just boom boom And they'll come up three four bits a day Just each one each writer would And just were those all the writers He brought with them from New York That have been with them for a long time And then he hired some of them from L.A. too

But the majority, a lot of them came from New York So it was a well-oil-all machine This thing was a thing was move in. Greasy. You put your hand in there. You get your fingers chopped off. This thing is moving, man.

You think he would have been smart and hired a bunch of quadriplegic. Yeah, right. This thing was moving. Did you lose your fingers in there? Not me. Lost them in numb. Fuck you, O'Brien. Hire me.

Yeah. Hey, hire me. The name's nubs. I can't hold a pencil that I can tell you a good joke. All right. So all upstairs. Yeah, that's all here. Yeah.

Oh, that's so good. But then once, excuse me, once you, once you sort of found your groove, did you really love it? Did you, did it feel like home? Yeah. Once I found my groove, when I found my groove, I was like, oh, okay, this is cool now. Yeah. Because at first I was like, because I was like moments from leaving because I just. Oh, really?

Yeah, because I didn't feel like I fit in. You were the new kid at the new school. And it wasn't even just then. It wasn't even just being there. It was the fact that, you know, I was, I'm a stand-up comic. So I was used to going to bed at 5 in the morning. Yeah, yeah. Being out all night.

And now with this job, you got to be at work at 7. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I was like, look, this ain't even me. I ain't even used to doing this. Yeah, this was a whole new pony show. A whole new pony show. And I was like, nah, I don't think I think.

I really want to do this anymore. Wow. So how close were you? Like, were you like a week? Really? Yeah, I was like a week away. And what, what made the turn? What stopped?

I stopped Karen, like I did. Really? And how long did she work there? So Karen, I stopped her from, no. No, so I just, you know, instead of like really trying to learn the system, I, I just knew that I couldn't do it and there was no room for me. that. So I just basically just fell back and was like, you know, and I'm good. Like, I'm, I'm real good. And so at this, hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes. The answer is yes.

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You're letting that energy flow come from a source that isn't traditional. Exactly what you said off the top. And that's exactly what was happening because now I'm becoming me. Yes. And I'm not trying to fit in and write. So now I'm not doing everything that they want me to do. I'm not doing anything because I know I'm leaving. Yeah.

So now I'm just doing me hanging out. You know, I'll pitch something if they don't want it. Fine. I'll go get on the internet and buy some clothes and shit. You know, whatever. Did you buy that shirt? No, I didn't buy the shirt. Show them your shirt.

It says staff. And I told him he should wear that at his funeral, but it says stiff. Or if you're making love, you know, whichever. Anyway, stiff. Stiff. I am stiff. On the back, stiff staff. You're like a new doctor's shoes character.

You like to fuck, but you're on. also in charge because you run the place so so that's good i mean it's so interesting because you you were kind of put in a place where there was a structure and you had to do what me and you do on stage that you alluded to you follow your comedy instinct yeah like at this point i was like all right i'm good and so now when they pitch things I just didn't care at this point. And one day, one day they were pitching this thing skit for Andy Richter. Oh, here we go.

And because Andy's German, so they was pitching this thing called October Fest. And I didn't know what it was at the time. At the time I had no idea. And when they was pitching it, I was like, what's that? Yeah. Telling me it was a drinking day for, like, German people in German. And I was like, I was like, that's some bullshit. And they was like, what?

And I was like, because everybody got drinking day, but black people don't have a drinking day. You got Cinco de Mayo, St. Patty's Day. You got October festival. Black people ain't got drinking day. I was like, that shit is terrible. And don't forget, you got my dad drinking every day. Yeah, I mean, that's a day, isn't it?

That's a day. It's every fucking day. Several days. Oh, so it was just almost a throwaway comment, and they went, wait a minute, that's kind of funny. And that was like, they would, like, write it up. That's so cool. And I was like, what?

And then I was like, and they was like, yeah, I wrote it up and I was giving it to Conan. Yeah. So Conan to talk about. Right. On the show and Conan read it and he thought it was hilarious. And then he was like, you do it. And I was like, oh, like do what? He was like, you're going to come out.

Yeah. And you say this. Yeah. And I was like, okay, and did that shit and lights out. I was going to ask you about that next because you did go on to be a performer on the show, too. You became one of the part of the stable of regular comedic guys. But I want to tell you a story. This is a compliment back at you.

There was always a certain pedigree to the guys that got to come out and perform because you'd see them doing a comedic bit. but you knew they weren't just there as actors they had earned their chops Conan had to have liked them Conan had to have seen something and when he put you out on camera I think you're kind of in the upper echelons of the writing and you pulled it off and you carried it and so good for you thank you man yeah it was it was like it was like at that moment it was like a switch it was a switch because we did it again it was something else that happened and I commenting on it and it was like

write that up and then after that I think TV guy put something like yo they made mention of us doing these things and then after that it was like lights out after that and so we just kept doing them and going them

and it was just it was now instead of me like writing to like to their format it became a format that I had that almost your own type of format that everyone had to write about like yeah that's sort of cool

it was super cool because now it's like okay instead of going yeah wait a minute it was like okay so what you think we should do so they're coming to you yeah you were sort of large and in charge not that no i want a large in charge no i don't mean over the whole thing but of your niche of my niche exactly yeah and it was like this thing where it was like okay yeah we can definitely That's so cool. What an honor. Yeah, it was crazy. I love that it's sort of how you sort of fell into it too. That's the beauty of following your comedy spirit and just trusting in it.

And that's the way, because I do acting too. And I learned that with auditioning. I used to go in and be like, hi, Jim, how are you? Where are you going to get the milk? Let me get the door. And then I just went in and was like, hey, man, where are you going? Yeah. Well, you're going to get the milk?

I won't get the milk. It's probably sour. Like, I learned to just rely on my comedic instincts and, like, sort of half throw the script away. Absolutely. Because, A, it's just more rewarding. If you don't get the gig, you walk away and you go, at least they did something that leaves me some dignity. Exactly. And B, you also kind of, you want to inject your own thing into it, and you just don't want to hand in something that's so sterilized.

And a lot of these casting directors and directors, producers, and whoever, they, sometimes they tend to go for the safe person because they want to keep their job and they want to keep their parking space and all this other stuff. But when it comes to a comedian, you're selling yourself short if you don't allow him to add his own touch to it. And a lot of them, they hire you. And then they tell you to be the way they want you to be. And it's like, well, why do you even have me here if you don't want me for who I am in my mind

and let me put a spend on the script that you... Your nuance, yeah. That's what I do in all my movies. I just, I respect my directors. I respect the words. I respect the cast, the crew. I expect, respect the project. But I'll do one off the book.

And then every take after that, I just go, what, what am I going to put? I don't even ask for permission. as you should, I just go. As you should. I'll tell you what, I'd say in 80% of my movie, stuff that I just rift and let come out is in the movie and did well in the movie. Like the people loved it. So it's a really interesting thing from a comedian's point of view as a stand-abannon actor. You should rely on that.

And it's good to have directors and producers who take a chance like that. One of my favorites, one of my favorites is Kenya, Kenya Bearers. He is a guy who created blackish and brownish and all that. He did a film, he did a film recently, Carl. Let me guess, Amish. Are there black Amish? I want to see a blackish Amish is what I want to see. And I want to see it at about seven-ish, if that's okay.

Is there black Amish? I think we just created a new show. I think we created a new show, right? Black, Amish-ish, yeah. Oh, my God. Let's put a barn up and celebrate. God, dude, I don't want to harvest some gourds right now and rub them all over, both of us.

That's so funny, man. No, but Kenya, Kenya's great. Kingia's great with allowing you to ad-lib. He did, yeah. Yeah, he's great with allowing you to ad-lib. and do things. And I'll be honest, in TV, it's a little tighter. Yeah.

To ad lib and TV. Yeah, it's very tight. Because everything's sort of on, on, well, I don't know if it wasn't a three camera show. It was single camera, right? The blackish, was it single camera? No, it was, uh, yeah, yeah, it was single. Yeah, it wasn't in a studio with the three. So that's easier.

But when you're doing a sitcom and it's, it's three cameras, it's tough to improv because everyone's going off their mark. and it's just a much tighter thing but in a movie you have a lot more room so that's cool so did you improv a lot when you did your lines yeah it was just like what you were saying like you know you do script

definitely do script because they have fantastic writers yeah you got to respect that yeah it was fantastic writers but then they'll let us play and then they'll let us riff and a lot of times a lot of stuff that we riff we got down and look pay these writers and actors

please oh that this writer's Please, can we get this over with? Well, can I tell you, I'm very passionate about the writers, because I'm a writer too, you are, and I'm very passionate about this writer's strike, and I got into some trouble. I don't even know if there's going to be a lawsuit or not, but I'm so passionate about the writers and the strike.

And if you do any writing inside of the strike, you're a scab, you know, you're a scab. And so I don't want to see. anybody doing any writing. And so I took it a little too far the other day. About two days ago, I went down to the picket line to join my brothers and sisters picketing. And there was some actors and some writers walking around and they had the signs. One guy had this beautiful sign and I'll never forget it. I said, oh my God, what a sign. It said, we will not back down. We are writers. We are one. And it was so powerful. And I said to him, I said, who wrote that? And he goes, I did. And I said,

well, it's a fucking strike, asshole, and I punched him in the face. Fucking scab. Uh-uh. Not on my watch. Fuck you. Asshole. What the fuck you doing writing?

Fucking writer. Writing a sign in the middle of the writer's strike. Uh-uh. See how you're writing the hospital there, crab claws McGinty? Broke both his hands. You won't be writing for a while. I think I smell a writer's award for you coming.

Thank you. Thank you. I don't want. I want an Emmy. I don't want an Oscar. I want a Golden Globus. Just because I like the sound. And it's also the thing I find in the corner of my eye when I wake up in the morning. There's another Golden Globus. Now let me ask you this, because I want to get into like sometimes writing and being on shows like that as much as there's harmony, it can also be contentious. And as writers, we have egos and we have our creativity. was there ever a sketch that you did that you loved and Conan or the writing staff just said no we we don't we don't like it and you had to you had to let it sit but you knew inside it was there ever one that stuck in where you just went back to your your office and you're like yeah hell yeah what was it was this one bit right here we go I wrote where I wanted Conan to come out and do the whole show and a Steve Harvard suit right like buttons all the way down to his just the clothing the suit just the suit oh his suit oh yeah because he wears those suits with the tie and everything yeah okay yeah yeah so I wanted him to do like a whole

the whole show Steve Harvey's yeah because doesn't the the edge of his suit come almost to the top of his knees yeah oh that would be funny all these buttons yeah and he won't do it everybody was dying at rehearsal yeah everybody was dying laughing yeah and he just smiled and took the coat off him like next that's simple like okay now what my next follow-up question was was there ever an instance where you went back to your office and you were actually like it sounds like this one made you mad but did you ever like get into it with anyone and sort of have a verbal like hey come on man No, I never got that far.

No, no, no, I never got. Because that can happen. Sometimes you find a piece and you just, but for whatever reason, it doesn't always go down. I never was like married to stuff. I just always wanted to be heard. And in the beginning, I wasn't heard a lot. Yeah, yeah. After that, yeah, we was cool.

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Yeah, go ahead. Because for maybe 25 years now, I've done the late night talk show circuit from Letterman to Conan to Leno, all of them. And I've never really got to sit down with someone from behind the scenes. And I must have done Conan, I think, 20, 25 times over the years. Yes, you did. And I'm just curious. It's not so much vanity, but I'm curious. And you might not even remember.

You might not have been around at that point. But was there ever a time when you knew I was coming? And what was the vibe? Like when certain guests, like when I was coming, oh, yeah, Harlan's coming. Or was there ever like, oh, Harlan's? I guess I just in a weird way, I want to be a flying. They'll go, was there any extra amount of excitement?

Or was it just another? one day at the office and here's another gashed. So depending on who it is that come here that people get super excited. They'd be like, yo, Clint Eastwood is coming on or something like that. Everybody was going crazy. That's what they did

with me. No. No, they did not. Everyone was like, Harlan's going to be here. I was like, oh, that's cool. I'm going to check it out. And everybody just made sure they watched it. But wouldn't nobody like come downstairs. and, like, take pictures with you or not like that.

You ever do an interview and you ask a question, you wish you never fucking asked? No, I, you know what? I appreciate the honesty because I always wondered, you know, like me and Conan, so I wondered if there was, oh, Harlan's coming in, but. No, everyone was, everybody's always excited because no one knows what you're going to do.

Right, right. So everybody's always like, oh, shit, what is he going to do today? That's true. I would always. wanted to know what you were going to do so everyone watch oh cool but then there are some people when they come on the show everybody's running to the green room to take a picture with him and shake their hand that's a high of them and stuff like that oh definitely Clint and Bruce Willis yeah I remember one time Hallie Berry was on the show and what did you do I was there

the day before I just sat in the green room you got you the day before yeah I was there yeah I was there earlier and just waited and see whizz right by and Really? Yeah, just went to her dress room. And I was able to say hi to her, but then that was it. There was no. No, it was nothing else. You didn't ask her out.

You didn't slip her a no. No, no, no. That was it. Now you know how I feel when I went to the show and nobody gave a fuck that I was there. How about that? And I didn't even camp out. I showed up a half hour ahead and still got what you got. No, you were so great, though.

I'm telling you. No, I'm kidding. We had a blast. No one ever, never knew what you were going to say and do. So that was always amazing. I'll be honest, Dion, there was an element of my show that I didn't know. Like I always, it's again going back to what you said right off the top about not knowing. You guys at the show, you made us go through what the material was.

But like I said earlier about in my movies, I improvised. or at the auditions. So I always came in with about 20% where I just went, you know what? I'm going to let the vibe carry me. And whatever I say to Conan or whether it's something physical or whether it's something verbal,

I'm not going to filter myself. And so that always made it fun for me. And it also, I think it heightened the level of comedy because I knew I was allowing myself to just go wherever my comedy instincts took me. So it was fun. It was fun. And it showed, you know,

It showed that you was just, that's what I said, that was the beauty of it. Like, the beauty of it was, you was never rehearsed, you never, and you were like stupid funny. So it wasn't just like you was just coming off the cuff. People trusted you to come with it. Yeah, that's true. That's the key word. I felt like, I felt like with these late night talk shows, you sort of had to find a level of trust where they knew that you were going to bring it. They knew that if you went off, you could find your way back.

You could, because it's a tricky thing. Like, I realize that stand-up is one craft. And doing stand-up on a late-night talk show is one skill. Yes, it is. And then sitting down and doing panel is a whole other skill set. And the first probably five times I did Conan, it was awkward. When we sat and talked, like the early days in New York, I even told my manner, I said, why do I do that show anymore?

It never really goes well. you know like i i stopped wanting to do it i you know and they kept calling and i said so this it's it's amazing what you said i said i think the fifth or six time i just exactly what you said i went you know what i don't fucking care yeah and i went out and i sat down and just like you said it clicked and me and conan and and that was it every single show after that we just flew absolutely man it's it's letting go of the of the of what you're supposed to do and be who you are and And I tell people that a lot of times, too, I'm like, you know, when you go out in the world, especially performing or doing comedy or acting or whatever you're doing, don't forget to take that person in the mirror with you. People never take that person in the mirror with them.

They go out and be what everybody wants them to be and they leave that person in the mirror at home. But that person in the mirror is going to be the one that separates you from other people. People always leave them. Michael Jackson. I'm Michael Jackson. I'm Michael Jackson, and that's why he was Michael Jackson. He would look at the man in the mirror. He took him everywhere, right?

He had mirrors everywhere. And he would look at that man in the mirror and he'd just go. You ever got in this car? You're special. This car has mirrors. Is it really? Yeah, like the whole, I'm just bullshit. I don't know.

Oh, shit. Holy fuck, because I don't want to be going down the 405 and seeing that guy doing his hair in the bumper. You know? He's got mirrors everywhere. What's the stupidest thing? And I love hearing stories like this. What's the stupidest thing you ever did as a kid?

Like, is there something really, like, dumb that you did that, like, got you in trouble or almost caused bodily harm or embarrassed your family? As a kid. Is there something just nutty that you, like, crazy that I did? Because we all did. Every kid, like, did something really monumental. mentally stupid. I remember one time me and my mother was on this bus

and my mother had this coat on with this like really matted, horrible fur. It was like around her collar. And I was very loud and I kept asking her, is this real fur? Is this real fur? This is back in the like 70s. Everybody was wearing it.

But I just kept saying it was so embarrassing to her. She was just like, she just kept in. And was it a shawl or was it the whole coat? It was just fur around. the collar. I just kept being so loud like, Mommy, why is this real for her? She just like pinch. They pinch my skin. Where did she pinch? Was it under the arm? Oh, yeah. Was it? Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. That's the place that hurts, right? Dude, I used to go to boarding school when I was a kid. And our teachers, this was back when

teachers were allowed to physically harm the kids. And we had this one teacher that if he caught you, he would just in front of the hole. He'd just walk. up grab that meat and just stare at the kids and just turn it and if the kid squealed or make a noise he'd backhand him like it was like it wasn't pepperage farm i'll tell you that this is more like a pilsbury doughboys house of fucking yeast horrors by the way have you ever been in a bouncy house with helen keller no no i have not you will guy too soon do you think she'd go in a bouncy house i mean why not have a little fun blindie what she blind or deaf i don't know we don't care she's in a bouncy house who can even see

um all right so i want to talk about showers okay okay because i know at one point you said that showers in hotels are racist and that's quite a statement and I we got to talk about this how in the name of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on dolly parton's lap are showers in a hotel it's the overhead one right yeah talk to me guy everybody everybody don't black people don't use that overhead like that cause why why not because it's my hair and shit You just want to let me Let me pick where I want the water to go Don't designate where to fuck my water goes

Wait, you don't want it on your hair Or you want it on your hair when you decide Because maybe how about if I don't even want How about if I don't even really want to wash my hair just right now I just want to hurry up, take shower and leave Because it takes too long for my hair to dry So what do you do? Yeah, and then I just, yeah

So you just got to like jump in and out the water Did you just stick your specific body parts in? Out of the ceiling shit, yeah. That is racist. That is so racist. I'll tell you a funny story. I was in a hotel and I don't know if they didn't clean it. You know, it wasn't the nicest hotel.

Like there was a spider up in the corner, saw a few roaches. But this is a true story. I'm in a hotel. I pulled down the sheets. You know, sometimes you get a hair on the sheets or on the pillow. Okay, so I pulled down the sheets. I don't have a lot of experience with a black person's hair. Okay.

I've never had a black girlfriend. Okay, I've never run my hand through it. I've never really examined, you know, you're not going to walk up to a, can I look at your scalp, sir? So I know what it is. I know that I felt the texture, but I've never looked at it up close. I look on the sheet and I see this little tiny, curly thing.

It looks like a little shock absorber, a little tiny black shot and I go, what the hell is that? And I pick it up and I was fascinating. It was a black person's piece of hair, right? And I looked like a little shock absorber. And I was, and then I looked around and there was some more. And I thought, fuck, this is all kind of, it's got bounced to it. So you know what I did?

I fucking caught that spider. I retrofitted it. I put one of those little coily hairs on each leg and that fucker bounced and caught every roach in my room. Thank you very much. I'm a problem solver. You are an asshole. Right? Right. It's cool. I love the texture. It's just like bouncy. Are you are white people really fascinated with black hair like that? I am because I, I, you know, I'm an artist, so I love textures. I love, but when you don't have access to something, like have you ever stroked a Japanese person's head? Have you ever in your life, just through organic means, had an opportunity to write?

Neither have I. I've mostly dated white people, and I've touched white people's head. I've never touched. Well, maybe I touched a Japanese girl's hair once. But that's when I was a hairstylist back in the 70s. But, you know. No, listen. I love it.

I love the time. I think they're obsessed with that shit. Like, they don't look at your hair and just be, looking at it and they know that they can't touch it but they'll just look at it and they just look and look and it's just like what are you what's what's wrong like what's what's the problem i think it's just look you're now you're looking at my hair right now you want deion i'd i'd really like to touch it friend if you don't you don't mind no the black community will get in my ass if i let you touch my hair well could you at least pull me a piece come on not

You want to touch you my hair? No, I'm doing that one to touch it. What the hell's wrong with my hair? That is some creepy shit. I know. Yeah. Wait a minute. I think I have a bag of my.

Here's a bag of my trimmings. Here's some of my hair trimmings. I cut them off. I ask that it actually is my hair. Oh, God, damn. I know. What's happened? Welcome to the Jeffrey Dahmerer podcast.

Oh, my God. Oh, you are so silly, dude. I got to say, though, talking about your body and your physicalness, you're a sexy dude. Can I say that? Like, I've always thought you had, no, I'm serious. Even on Conan, even when it's hard to do comedy and kind of have a sexy presence, you're kind of a sexy dude.

I'm not into guys. I like girls, especially Japanese ones, because I can. I can't touch them. But you got a bit of a vibe going, buddy. You don't think so? Not really, no. See, that makes it even sexier that you don't see it. I guess humble.

You got the smile. You got the beautiful teeth. No. Yeah, come on, guy. I'm just chilling, man. No, not anymore. You're getting laid off this podcast. Oh, you're getting laid real hard, real hard.

Probably in the same hotel I was at. Yeah, dude, what is sexy to you, though? What is, like, sexy to Dionne Co? Because even your name's sort of sexy. It's sort of jazzy, Diom Cole, like, Jazzy. Diom Cole! No, Harlan, no.

Yeah, you got the, you're embarrassed. No, man. See, that's what makes you even sex. All the ladies right now are going, oh, he doesn't even know. sexy. That makes him even more desirable. I want to roll him around and flowering him.

Yeah, dude. You are silly as hell, man. What sexy to you, though. Man, I don't know, just, you know, being out in L.A., man, you see beautiful people all the goddamn time. Everybody's beautiful. Everybody's working out. Everybody's beautiful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It gets to a point where you get past all that beautiful shit. And it's just, you know. If you catch a vibe with somebody and, you know, just talking about some shit that y'all both agree upon, you know, that's, to me, that's like some sexy shit. It ain't the way somebody look because I see that shit every goddamn day out here in Hollywood. Yeah. You see somebody, you're like, oh, she is the most beautiful person, beautiful person in the world. You look to the left and you go, oh, no, she's so beautiful.

Yeah, it never stops. The beauty don't stop. It's going to keep coming. It's going to keep being beautiful people. So you've got to look past that. And to me, sexiness is just somebody who just sit back and, you know, just vibe with you. So it's not the looks, it's the vibe. Yeah, it's like how a person acts.

So case and point, you're sitting at IHop. Okay. You're by yourself, you got a stack. It's Sunday. It's the never-ending Sunday stack. A girl slides into your booth right across from you. Yellow gopher teeth. crippling arthritis so much psorias as it looks like two pizzas fell on top of each other

and dry humped all night but she's telling you everything you want to hear is daddy going home from iHop with madam gnarleface no well then somebody at this table is a liar I'm saying that it just don't stop there like that's not the sex yeah that's That's the, that's the, that's the, a nice looking person is to get in, where you go, that catches your attention. Yeah. But then that still ain't the sexiness to me. It's what a person says and does, you know, after that. But, yeah, the look of a person that lowers you and then I go right into what are they talking about.

What are they doing? I get it. I know. I'm just messing with. But that's hilarious. But is there, is there, and everyone has this, is there a trait on a woman that, like some guys the eyes or the bridge of the nose or sometimes it can i i've i've been out with girls well it's just the way they stood like the posture and i'm like oh i like the way she stands

it's like a woman's walk is amazing like definitely her walk or smile you know all of those things are good you know things to you know look at walk is an interesting one i remember in high school in college richard gear was the big thing you know an officer and a gentleman and america all these, and I asked a few girls, I go, what is it about? Because I never thought, I mean, I'm a guy, but I thought he's sort of handsome, but I didn't get, and I asked a few girls, they go, oh, it's the way he walks. And I never, that never entered my way. I go, the way.

And then I kind of looked at him and I went, yeah, he just kind of does have that swag. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he has a walk. A walk is something. See, see, you got one time to make a first impression, one time into, one time. Well, not if you're stuck in a revolving door. No, but yes, you do. Yes, you do. The first time you see somebody.

You know, when is it my turn to write a funny joke and not get slammed? You know, son of a bit. I'm like, the first time you see him in a revolving door. No, but for real, though. And, you know, you got to capitalize on that. So the way you walk, the way you walk, where you carry yourself and all of that. That's the alluring thing about people.

And then after that, the big, big test is right after that. Speaking of walking, be honest. Dion Cole, I'm asking you to be honest here. Have you ever parked in a handicapped spot? Yes, I have. I've done it before. To use the bathroom. So you shit in a handicapped spot?

You know, these people don't have. good legs. And when they step on that, Dion, it's just the wheelchair wheels will just spin and spin. How dare you, sir? No, I had to use it so bad and it was nowhere to park and I had to run into this restaurant. Was it a loaf or a lemonade? No, it was just a lemonade. Oh, it was just a lemonade? And I had to pee so bad and I just pulled in the park and I ran into pee and I came back. And what was it? Was it a Home Depot or a restaurant? I was a restaurant. Which one?

I don't even know the name of that spot, man. It was in Chicago. Well, when you got to go so bad, the eyes just get blurry, right? You're like a rabid bear. I got a urinary. I just see the restaurant. I pulled over it. I was like, oh, there's no parks, no parks, no parks.

I just pulled it in a handicapped. Dude, that could have potentially been a $350 piss. It could have been. And did you, did anyone confront you at any point? No, I came right back, jumped to my car and left. So you probably could have done. done a number two I was in it out

I made sure I was in it out because I did not want to get a ticket have you ever been in a wheelchair no well you know recently I was in a wheelchair I had a fractured foot fractured toe how yeah I kicked it on the curb

kicked it on the curb and gently gingerly kicked it on a curb and it fractured so someone left a gingerbread man It was a gingerbird man And I kicked it Oh boy He kicked back

Oh yeah Get out of here Pastor Go piss at the olive garden Gingi Oh wow that sucks So how long were you in a wheelchair So I wasn't like every day like that

Like in airports I had to be in wheelchairs Because it took me too long to walk So I was using Here we go I've been wondering about those people when you check in oh i have to go first i need a wheelchair yeah tripped on a curve yeah that's what i thought no stubbed your toe on the bed yeah get down that ramp there uh no it still takes me a long time

to get to to the gate it really does what do you mean my foot because my foot this just happened oh it's still oh no yeah it's still my stuff what like did you fracture your toe or your Yeah, fractured my big toe, my big right toe. Yeah, fractured it. So, yeah, still, but I just don't have to wear the boot no more like I used to. And so therefore I can walk a little faster, but I'm still not 100% at all. Stubbing your toe is the worst because I always wondered this. I wonder what Jesus yells when he stubs his toe.

If he stubs his toe, if he stubs, it's going to goes, me. For those of you that aren't following you all, man. Everyone else goes, Ah, Jesus Christ. You know, some of these people don't get this stuff. Me and you do. We've been on Conan. You got it immediately, but some of them.

Look at some of these. They don't get it. I hope they step in your poo at a wheelchair fucking parking spot. How about that? Allerious. Buddy, we got one more segment I want to do with you. But before it, so we don't lose anyone, please plug anything you want.

want to tell the folks about your social media, your upcoming stand-up tour, any specials or books? Let them know. Yes. Yes. I'm at Dion Co. D-O-N-C-O-L-E on Instagram. Follow me on Instagram and everything. And I have a new tour called My New Normal Tour. It's going on right now. You can go get tickets at D-E-O-N-C-O-L-E dot com, Dionco, dot com. Get tickets going all over. The whole country? Yeah, the whole country.

Oh, nice. How long is the tour? It's going to probably go from now until the top of the year to the top of January. Oh, nice. Yeah, so it's going to go into the dance. And you have a, just so if people want to check, too, you have a great Netflix special that they can look at, too. When did that come out? Well, I can't promote nothing right now because of the stuff.

So I can't. Then let me do it. Please watch his new Netflix special called, I've never. liked my sister's ginger vitus gums it's a wonderful talks about spiders and hairs and taking giant loafs in the wheelchair parking areas you're going to love it gang yes that's exactly right dioncote.com anything you want to know about me and anything that's going on with me anything just go to dioncote.com and just go to dioncote.com and just or go to Dionne Coe on Instagram you can see everything but the tour my new normal tour get the tickets now

come on out man we're having a great time yeah go see Dion for sure isn't it so funny that in a strike it's like you can't even promote I forgot about that crazy right yeah it's just just quickly because we're in the thick of it I feel like it's you know I think maybe three four months it resolves but what what's your vibe talking to your friends what's your sense of where it's going and when it ends i don't know man i've been hearing at the top of the year that's when it's going to end and i heard something recently that they're talking and maybe something that's going to be you know finalizing about a couple weeks or whatever but you know i mean the way i look at it is you know these studios and stuff

it's kind of wild to me that they would have the audacity to not even pay the writers you know or the actors, you know, when it starts with them. Yeah, yeah. You wouldn't have no crew. You wouldn't have no multi-million dollar budget. Nothing. You wouldn't have none of this stuff if it wasn't for having the word first and then getting an actor to sign on to it.

Yeah. You want to get everything else. So if you need these two things in order for you to stay in business, I would think that you would pay them. And the money that people are asking for, it's nothing like crazy. It's just we. trying to get what we're what was deserving to us or whatever you know yeah if if all these streaming sites and all these other sites if they can raise their money right every three

months or every year yeah what make you think that we shouldn't be doing because you're raising your money because of inflation or whatever that's what all uh the networks and everybody's doing yeah yeah if you can raise your money what make you think we shouldn't raise ours in order to compete with today's you know economy yeah and you're not asking to be trillionaires you're asking to be able to eke out a comfortable healthy living exactly look first of all and I know this and a lot of people need to know this they never they never going to pay you enough to be their neighbor ever so just know that so at least at least pay us enough to make sure that you know we can come home and our wives and husbands and kids and everybody's okay you have a wife and a husband

Yes, I do. You really need a job. Yes, I do. Get this kid writing. Holy fuck, a wife's a load enough, but a husband, too. That guy's so demanding. She's a great guy. She's a great guy.

She's so demanding. Yeah. But right now, just quickly, is it affecting you currently in a writing or acting job? Like, is something you're doing on hold right now because of the strike? Oh, yeah. Oh, really? It's affecting me. Oh, wow.

Yeah, I got, man, it's, it's affecting me really bad, really bad, to be honest with you. Yeah, because. Well, lucky you were able to do this for free. Yeah, yeah. You are, you, you're the place to go for free. So let everybody know that. Wow. Anybody want to come talk some shit for free.

Harlan's the guy, man. It's an easy paycheck to read, just four zero. well dude i hope i hope it resolves you know just quickly i'll say that's the one saving grace not only do we love stand-up comedy but i found that no matter because there was another strike before and and even when you're an actor or a writer those jobs come and go but when you're a stand-up you can kind of map out your whole year touring and thank god for the ability to have stand-up to sustain what we do and then do the other stuff when that ship comes in. Yes, and that's why you're always, it's just a blessing.

That's why you will always see in any of my credits and anything that you ever see is going to say comedian first. Oh, interesting. And then it says everything else. Smart. That's exactly what I am. Yeah. And I wouldn't even have all this other stuff if it wasn't for this.

That's right. And it bothers me when I see people turn their back on comedy and then go do all these other things. And then when these things, when they're tired of you, then they come back to comedy. And it's like, yo, you, you, you, you missed out. You know what I mean? Well, you know what? There's a whole new generation of people.

Yeah. Because every four years, there's no new generation. It's a resurgent of people and stuff that comes to every four year. Because you've got to look at it. Four years is very important. It's a presidential term. Okay. It's graduation.

from high school and grammar school, college, everything's four years. Four years is a resurgent. So therefore, if you leave for four years to go act and do whatever and you try to come back to comedy, it ain't going to work because there is a resurgent that happened and you wasn't a part of it because you turned your back on something that made you in order to go do something else

and then that didn't want you. And you come back to this and this isn't there for you the way that you wanted it to. Yeah, I find for myself personally that I'm almost feel like I'm a traitor if I let stand-up go for so long because it was my first thing. It's your first love. Yeah, it's the spirit animal that's in you. And I always sort of, my analogy was, stand-up is my spine. And all the acting or the voiceover or the whatever else you do, they're the ribs that come off it.

But that spine is the constant. And that's how I see it. Absolutely. And you got to look at yourself as a comic with everything that you do. You know, Chris Rock said that one time, he said, you're a comedian before you anything. He was like before you a man, before you're a father, before you're an American, before anything, your race, whatever, you're a comic first.

Because when you think like that, that you're a comedian first, then that dictates how you become all these other things. Interesting. You become all these things because you're a comedian. and then you tackle being a father and everything a certain kind of way because you are a comic. That's sort of powerful, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I thought of it.

Yeah, I'm glad you thought of it too, man. Thank you. Thank you so much for being a genius. You're welcome. Yeah, yeah. It's so silly. Just not right. You are so silly.

Oh, God. I'm just going to marinate in your laughter. It feels good. That deep wheeze that you do, it washes over me like a manatee's saliva in the middle of the night. You are the words. All right, you're ready for the final bit?

I think you'll like this. Okay, we do this with every guest, Yeah, let's do it. It's called words from a wooden shoe. Oh, God. And this is an authentic Dutch clog, okay? Okay. And inside there are words on pieces of paper.

Okay. You just reach in blindly, grab a word, read it, and see if it elicits a story or a memory from your life. Okay. Something you could share with us. So words from a wooden shoe. Okay. Dion Cole. How did you think of this bit?

I don't know. I just had these shoes kicking around. Do you want to hear the real story? story where these shoes came from? Yeah. Because it sort of relates back to the late-night talk shows, and then we'll look what we were. So I used to do Letterman a lot, and I always used to like to go on Letterman and

surprise them. One time I took out a purse, one time, you know, I was always doing something. And I had a friend that was going to Holland, and I knew I was doing Letterman in three months, because they always booked you in advance. I said, I'm a 10 and a half. When you're over there, buy me a pair of wooden clogs, because I knew I was going to wear a beautiful Italian suit and walk out with wooden clogs on and sit on the chair with them. And it was, you know, it was just a right.

And then I sat down, I crossed my legs so that my foot was just sort of wiggling in front of him. And the first he goes, well, Harlan looks like you're wearing some wooden footwear there. And I just, I loved it. So that's where the origin of this came from. That's hilarious. Yeah, so what's your word and see if it brings up any memories or stories? What do we got? Principal's office.

Oh, here we go. Here we glow. See, the story of principal's office. Oh, yeah. I remember one time, one time. It's going to be good. It's really basic. I cut school and my mom came to the school and they told me to come down to the principal's office and I seen her.

It was a woman? My mother, yes. I meant the principal, but I'm glad we cross-checked that your mother isn't a great guy either. The principal. The principal is a woman, too, yes. I don't even remember my principal's name. That's her name, so she was an Indian? No, no.

No, no. That's a North American Indian name. I don't remember her name. Well, I went down. down there and saw my mother and thought I saw a ghost. And my mother did not say one word to me. She just looked at me and just the look alone felt, I felt like I was being beat in the head. Like she didn't say one word.

We drove home. They told me I was suspended for a week. We drove home. She didn't say nothing. She didn't say nothing that whole week. She just went in the house and went in her room. And I just was like, wait. like she just would not speak to me and I was so hurt but and did that lead to you

go into the principal's office every week no my mother's not telling me anything I can do whatever I want perfect I was straightened up right after that so wait so when you walked down to the principal's office she was already sitting there she was just sitting there in the office or like outside already sitting there in the office so it was her and the principal they had already been talking And for her to even get off work to go up there, they had been talking, and I didn't know. And what was the crime? What did you do to get hauled into the principal's office? Do you remember?

I cut school. Oh, you cut school. So you skipped? Yeah, skipped. And where'd you go? I was just hanging out. Downtown? No, not downtown.

Just hanging out of my guy's house. And his father and mother, they were at work and we'd just hang out there. So you were just at the house? You were at somebody's house. Yeah, but it was a. bunch of us who skipped it was like probably like six of us we all just skipped school and well you could you're at someone's house you're gonna set it mom but we but we did it we did it like a few times oh here we go we did if we used to do it like once every like two weeks or something we would skip school for

a day you know and then I guess they had added it up and and what about dad did dad come in on the equation no no no my father he wasn't around nothing like that it's just so he was cutting He was cutting life. Where was dad? He wasn't around. What happened? Divorced? No, he just wasn't around.

I mean, you know, it's just... Wait, that's ambiguous. So he just one day wasn't around like he abandoned the family? Yeah, he just wasn't around. Yeah, he just... Wait, how old were you when daddy disappeared? Like five, six. Oh, my heart just broke.

Oh, hey, look, man. That's the thing. That's the thing about, you know, uh, well, I mean, it's probably like that with white families and all that. No. But it's just. There's fathers everywhere with white families. We even have some of the black ones, too.

You wonder where they are. They're with us. They're with you, right? Yeah. God, damn. No, tell you. Go, go. No, it's just, you know, man, look, man, that's, you don't know what you don't know.

You know what you don't know. I don't know. You don't know what you don't know. Oh, I don't know. The love, whatever love he had or whatever, who knew that I was missing it? Because I never had it like that. But in a way, too, and this is kind of a sad way to come about it, but in a way when maybe your father leaves or there's abandonment, do you ever get introspective and go, wow, that really sort of toughened me up for life,

like knowing that that entity that, like did that build character, so to speak? Yeah, it's like, it's like without having him there, then you have to find other means and other people that become father figures. Oh. So therefore, that's what you do. You end up being around them. And instead of having one father, you have several. So that's why I was like, I was okay, because I had father figures like my uncles,

my friends, brothers, people in the community. They were all like father figures. That's cool. That's almost better. Yeah, I mean, it was. You know, it all works out. You know what I mean? Excuse me.

Hello, dad? Yeah, it's over. Well, maybe I do have a new father. Yeah, he's black. Yeah. Fuck you too. If you need me, I'll be at the principal's office. Wow, I kind of like that having a whole bunch of dads.

That's a lot of dairy queen. You are stupid. I know, really stupid. There are no dairy queens in the hood. Wait, you grew up in the hood? There ain't no dairy queens in the hood. You grew up in the hood. Where?

What, what hood? Chicago, the south side of Chicago. What do you mean there's no dairy queen? Even the hooders want dairy queen. You know, goddamn dairy queens in the hoods. Why not? Why not? People like ice cream everywhere.

They do, but they don't have no goddamn dairy queens. Well, now you know what's wrong with the hoods. the hood. We got an ice cream truck. Ice cream truck come through the hood. What? Then you chase that motherfucker down and grab you some ice cream. I need to know why there's no dairy queen in the hood.

Why? Suburban areas got dairy queens. White neighborhoods have dairy queens. And you all hang out in dairy queens. Like you eat your ice cream there and hang out. Oh, yeah. hang out and admires each other's flavors and cones. And I've seen it happen.

Yeah. Talking. Yeah. Can you just in your sexy Dion Coal voice, just whisper peanut buster parfe to me. Please. I'll do the joke. Peanut buster parfe. You are crazy, yo.

Dude, so wait a minute. If I put a dairy queen. in the hood, what happens to it? People just won't go. We don't like Dairy Queen. No, people will go. Well, then why isn't there one there? I don't know.

Well, we better call Dairy Queen. Wait, if I can call my stupid white dad, I can call Dairy Queen. Hello, Terry Queen? It's almost like they don't think that they're going to get business. It's like, you're going to get business. Hold on. I'm on the phone with Dairy Queen. Yeah.

Yeah, I want to put up a franchise. Yeah, I got the money. Uh-huh. Okay, we're good. Where? The hood. Hello? Hello?

They hung up. What the fuck? No dairy queens in the hood. That breaks my heart more than your dad leaving. Fuck me. I'm going to find your dad and take him the fucking dairy queen. Jesus, deal. Just give me a dilly bar or something.

Just whisper it, will you? What's the only thing I ask? No motherfucking Dairy Queen in the hood. Oh, wow. Dude, buddy, thank you so much for being here. And if we ever collab on something, like writing or something, I'd rather we go build a DQ in the hood. DQ H, all right?

Me and you. That's the name of our movie. That is. We come together. We come together to build a dairy queen. in the hood. Hey, if they can do Umar and Comar goes

to White Castle. Yes, we can do this. We can do Harland and Dion built a Dairy Queen in the hood. Dun and done. Let's hit the fucking Dairy Queen theme music. What a pleasure, buddy.

Thank you for being here. What a pleasure. Give me a potato. It's harvest season. Ladies and gentlemen, Dion Cole, go and see him do stand up. Check out his website, his Instagram.

Catch him on the tour. It starts when? Yeah, it starts September 15th. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, man, come on out, man. Dionco.com, my new normal tour, man. Come check it out, y'all. Check it out.

And Dion, congratulations on all your success, the acting on Conan. And I want to say sincerely, those, those words you said at the top of the show about me, it's sometimes it's hard to hear a compliment, but, uh, that was very generous and nice and that resonated with me. So thank you so much. I could tell. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Holland Highway, Dionne Cole.

Thanks for being here. We'll see you, Dairy Queen. And until next time, Chicken Chalmayne, baby. Oh, God. I just want to drizzle chocolate sauce all over myself. Terry Queen me up, buddy.