The Harland Highway - PAULY SHORE has an intervention and has to get sprinkled with magic, comedy, fairy dust braaaaaaaa!!

Episode Date: June 9, 2026

WINGMAN is out now on Apple TV and Amazon Prime! https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/wingman/umc.cmc.nfzru25awp5jnendhudhjw9t This episode is sponsored by Quince and Cashapp! - Go to Quince.com/harland��for free shipping on your order! - Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/7o7jwwlk #CashAppPod. Thanks for watching the Harland Highway. More Harland Williams: Harland Highway Podcast Video: https://www.youtube.com/c/HarlandHighwayPodcast Harland Highway Podcast Audio: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-harland-highway/id321980603 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harlandwilliams Harbling Shirts: https://www.harbling.com Official Website: https://www.harlandwilliams.com Twitter :https://twitter.com/harlandhighway?lang=en More Pauly Shore: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paulyshore/ Website:https://www.paulyshore.com/ X: https://x.com/PaulyShore #podcast #harlandwilliams Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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June 19th and 20th, I'll be in Rochester, New York, at the Comedy at the Carlson. Get your tickets at Harlandwilliams.com. Great club. We always have a great time. Probably going to sell out. So get your tickets. Comedy at the Carlson.

Rochester, New York, June 19th and 20th. Also, don't forget, on today's episode, at the end of the episode, we're going to be hearing from Lieutenant Colonel, French Lieutenant Tom Dowdy,

our military expert. He's going to be talking about the whole shabingle, shabangle, going on with the Iran War. And that's audio only. It's at the very end of the podcast. Audio only. This guy's an expert.

He has great inside information on all things military. Should be very enlightening. And then lastly, gang, don't forget my new comedy movie, Wingman is finally here. It's available on streamers, Apple TV, and Amazon Prime.

So please go. and watch the movie. Please support it if you can. I'm getting great feedback on it. People are loving it. So thank you those who have watched it. And I hope you guys who haven't downloaded it yet get a chance to see it.

I think you're going to like it. And then Canada, I know you've been asking, where's wingman, where's wingman? Well, Canada's doing it a month late. So we're going to be at the end of June. You'll be able to see Wingman on some streamers up in Canada. So thanks for your patience. Thanks for your support.

And without further a do-do, let's get right to today's wacky podcast. Ah, ha, ha, herpes. Ah, herpy lips. You have herpy lips. Ew. Go do your heroin. That sounded like a burp and a sneeze at the same thing.

Are you going to shut that door or no? What door? There could be fucking people coming in. There's a door right there. I can see it. Yeah. Well, shut it. What if Jim Morrison shows up? That would be cool.

We like him. Well, now you like doors. You're right. Okay. The doors. What about the floors? Was that a band? Are we starting?

I'd rather not, but I guess we will. So you had a lot of cancellations, so I showed up, right? What do you mean? No, you're a top priority guest, my guy. Wow. Yeah. But I think like... You're a power player.

Yeah, but I think I'm on the show because you like to make fun of me. I've never made fun of you once. If you roll back, you've been on three times. Right. Never made fun. All right. Well, let's start it. You want to start?

Yeah, go. Okay, here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, I do guarantee, now that's right. Welcome to the Holland Highway Podcast with my special special special needs friend Holly Shaw in the house. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for having me.

I wasn't finished. Okay. Polly Shaw in the house here, my special special guest, I do guarantee. I do declare. I do declare. Thank you so much for having me.

I appreciate it. Yeah. I saw you had, what was it, Will Ferrell on. Yeah. So your stock was up and now you're going back down.

That's what it is. It is? Stocks go up. Stock goes what? Down? Yeah. So you're, You're a downstock.

Yeah. Why would you say that about yourself? I think you're an upstock. Well, then I guess you have a lot of people that follow your podcast that are on the spectrum then. Because if that's the case, then you're right. But why would you put yourself down when so many others can do it for you? I mean, why would you put yourself down? Right.

I was doing schick, bro. Oh. Okay. I already know I'm the baddest motherfucker around. What's up, bitches? Ma! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! What am I, dude?

A demented goat? Mah! What am I, dude? Divorce material. Yeah. So if you start to date me, what's going to happen? Divorce material. Yeah.

But how could you be divorced material if no one ever wants to marry you in the first place? And that's not making fun of you. That's just a point. Now you're putting me down. Well, you said you were a down guest. Anyways, thank you for... Did you just snort? Anyways, thank you for having me.

What are you doing? Are you putting foundation on? Yeah. Why? So I can look good for the 300 people that watch your show. Why wouldn't you put that on before you got on camera? Because this is also a makeover show. It is?

Yeah, so you take your skin. If you have fair skin and you have different, if you have different complexities happening, then I started doing, I started doing different types of shows. Can you do your breath over? God. I just don't want, I don't want my. forehead to shine, dude.

I don't want to find. No, there's going to be no shining when it comes to you. Have we started yet? No. Okay. I'm waiting for you. Now I'm not going to start

to you do your dildo treatment or whatever it is. This is what we do. We're gay in Hollywood, bro. We just go to. Well, I don't say we. Well, no, the people watching. The people watching are gay.

Yeah. But what are you doing? Are you trying to attract like... No, I just want to look good. It's a big show, dude. It's like being on fucking the Johnny Carson's show. But are you really

making yourself look good or you're making yourself look like you have rickets? I don't know. I'm just, I didn't get a good sleep last night. Eddie Murphy's mad at me because I released this interview with him on my podcast. Yeah, you had Eddie Murphy on. Yes, I had Eddie Murphy on. How did you? It's a short thing podcast. It's fucking blowing up. Your podcast, you had Eddie Murphy, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tony Hinchcliffe. How do you get these, these up, these A-level guests? when you're such a down host. I thought you said I was up. I said you or you said you were down.

Yeah, but I switched it back once you said up, now I'm up. But now I think you have down syndrome. You're down. How does this look like this? You look like a Sephora model. And they ain't real winners. So basically, I just said to myself, I've had about 16 different podcasts. Yeah.

You know, like this is why I'm not in a relationship and why I'm what? Divorce material. Divorce material. Have you ever been married? Just to my right hand. Oh, God. It crosses the line instantly. So here, how does it look?

Can Amber, can Amber come in? Amber. Amber. Amber. Can you come in and let me know how my makeup looks? I want to start the show. Before you come in, have you ever been a mortician? Come here.

This guy looks like a corpse over here. Can you make sure? Does it look okay? My foundation. Come on, dude. You put it on? Yeah, I put it on. See, she can't even notice.

Yeah, fix it for them. This might take a few hours. Yeah, I'm like Corey Feldman, dude. I put makeup on now. You're like Corpse Feldman. Corpse film. That's good. That's good, right?

Cool, thank you so much. What about his? This is shining, right? He doesn't know. Yeah, this is a little shiny. He needs some powder. I don't need it. Amber, just check the monitor,

make sure it didn't go out of focus from when you were doing his makeup Is it still focused? You want to be unfocused. I want to be focused. You're never focused. Since you sat down, it's been chaos, madness. You look like you're a corpse in a funeral casket.

I was with this, I was with, I'm bisexual now, just FYI. You're bisexual. So you have sex in an airplane that does crop dusting? Right. No, I was with a guy last night. He gave me a hickey. So that was one of the reasons why I wanted to. You were with a guy.

Yeah, and he gave me a hiccust. What was his name? Bert. Bert Kreischer. You were with Bert Kreischer, the bear? Yeah, because he's been, you know, he's been kind of going away from his bay, Leanne. When did you become by? Last time I did your performance here in your show.

I'd love you to say bye right now and get the hell out. No. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Guy. I'm kidding. Bye guy. So listen.

So just before we start, because we haven't started yet, right? No. Well, let me press. some buttons here. Okay, we're starting. Ladies and gentlemen, Polish Shaw here, the player. What's up? Oh, wow. Are you blind? So now I'm all made up for you, and now I'm here for your show.

Okay. Okay, so what I'm saying is that I have a drug, I have a drug problem. You know, I know some of your fans and some of your followers, they noticed that last time. What happened? Because I kept leaving and stuff. You kept leaving to, what were you doing? Snorting? Yeah, snorting some stuff. What were you snorting? Some feather dust.

Oh, like angel dust? Yeah, some feather dust. I was snorting it. But I'm just going to be transparent because it's just better if you're just honest. So I have mental issues. Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. Huge.

Yeah, so I have mental issues. So I can't be on your show like constantly for 45 minutes to an hour. I'm going to have to take breaks. You said you're going to be transparent and nothing would be more transparent as if you weren't sitting there. There'd be nothing there. And that would be ideal. But welcome. Welcome to the show.

I'm also starting to transition with the transparent. Yes. With a what? So I'm bisexual. I'm transgender. I'm transitioning and I'm transparent. What kind of car do you drive? A Toyota Prius.

Oh, I thought it's going to be a transam. Ooh. Yo, yeah. Yeah. So first question on your pamphlet. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah, so are you into children's causes?

Do you like kids? Yeah, I love kids. Okay. Yeah, yeah, kids are cool. So you might like this. Like when they do the cleft flip late at night, the cleft lip. Right. Where you like send, hey, little Johnny's got a cleft flip.

Can you send them some cash? We call it jackmouth. Yeah. Have you, you know, sometimes a kid's born and they got jackmouth? Their mouth is all jacked up. Yeah. You know, maybe they got hit by a hockey puck. Yeah.

Or a vacuum sucked their lips sideways. Yep. I've started this new foundation called Sillibbles. Oh, syllables? It's a take on the word syllable, but because it's a kid, we call it Sillibals, and we help children that have jackmouth sort of do word association. I'm here on the Harlan Highway podcast because one of,

I think, what was it, Dionne Cole didn't show up, so you call me last minute. That's not true. you're lying. He's lying. He's a liar. Since I'm living in your trash can, I was available. No, he's lying. He's an honored guest. He's a special guest. We love him.

Oh, wow. Oh. I think, what was it, Dionne Cole didn't show up, so you called me last minute. No, true. It's not true. Since I'm living in your trash can, I was available. Wow. It's like we got a bad bit twice.

Is it okay that I posted it even though this one's not? Oh, is this live or no? This is live, I was it. It's live. What was that? Did you just send me a butterfly kiss? No, this was my impression of Jim Norton. Dude, that was a butterfly kiss.

Jim Norton's fucking hilarious thing. He is? Oh, my God. What do O'Wacko that guy is? Why don't you do one of his bits? Because we can use some hilarious. Dude, what the hell was that? What's wrong?

Do you have measles? No, that's what he does. Okay, so the childhood thing, go on, I apologize. So silly. Bulls. You're silly bowls. And what we do is these kids are born with jackmouth or they get hit by a hockey puck or their parents are violent.

They hit them with a hockey stick in the mouth. You know, some kids come out, their lips are sideways. They look like a tulip or a lamprey. Pita. Pita. Yeah, that's sort of it. And so what we... Pita.

Pita. Pita. Pita. Pita. But what we do at silly bowls is we do, how? do help the kids do word association. So let me give you an example. Some kids can't put the words together. So when a kid wants lunch. Oh shit. Yeah. Back with the food. No, no. This is for silly bulls. And how it works is you go scrunchy lunchy. Billy want some lunchy. Okay. So you pretend you

have a jackmouth. Yeah. And then I go scrunchy. Lunchy, lunchy. Mega good, the munchy. No, no, Billy wants some lunchy. Okay. Scrunchy, lunchy. You gotta say Billy wants some lunchy. Where are you going?

I told you, I have a fucking drug problem. Can you just say Billy wants some lunchy first? And then I can go do my jokes. Yeah, let me do it again. Scrunchy, lunchy. Billy wants a munchy. No, Billy wants some lunchy. Millie wants some munchy.

Scrunchy, lunchy. Lunchy. Billy wants a munchy. Lunchy. Crunchy. Lunchy. Billy wants a lunchy. A lunchy or munchy?

Lunchy. Lunchy. Billy want a lunchy. Now go do your cocaine. It's not cocaine. It's called flour dust. Sorry. Your makeup looks like ass, dude.

What are you doing? I'm trying to give you a blow job. A blow job. I barely know go. Scrunchy. I don't like these comments that are scroll. Scunchy. Munchy.

Billy wants him. Billy wants some. Munchy. Ah! A goat rape. Ah! He's got sideways irises. Ah!

Herpes. Ah, herpy lips. You have herpy lips. Ew. Go do your heroin. Oh, it's flower dust. Well, go do your angel dust. I scrub off.

scrub off. All right. Do your sponsor stuff now. I just do this real quick and take a second. Amber, can you bring me a washcloth please? God.

You're covered with flax oil seed and herpes dust. Potato mist. Garlic butter. Oh, God. Thank you. Ugh.

Oh. You are oily. Hey, gang, Harland here and wanted to talk to you about Cash App. I'm air writing it, Cash App. What's one money lesson that you wish you had learned earlier on in your life, and now maybe let's say you're trying to pass on down to your kiddies? Well, for all the parents out there with teenagers, we know you're already trying to keep a million different things under control.

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Sutton prepaid card, Sutton Debit Flex card, and Bank Corp debit flex card. Savings provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. brand. Visit Cash App, backslash, legal, backslash, podcast for full disclosure. So there you go, gang. Cash App. Let's get that money together. Whoa, dude. What is this? That's a flower dust. It kind of sometimes when I snort it, then it comes back out and it regurgitates.

You snorted this up your nose? Yeah, dude, that's the flower dust. Are you flying right now? Woo- Have you ever been... I can go for another six minutes. Have you ever been an otter? Ah!

I don't know what an otter is. That's a bird, because your skin's oily like an otter. When you hugged me, I had like a... a residue. A dirty residue. Can we get back to silly bowls? Let's do one more. Anana, a nana, Billy want a banana.

And what am I supposed to say? You're supposed to have a jacked mouth. You got jack mouth. And then Anna, banana. Billy want a manna. What is it, Dana? Billy want a banana. Anna, banana, Billy wants it to Zana.

No, I say the first part. Anna, banana. Billy wants a banana. And then I just do... Give me a banana. Wow. Thank you. I'm sorry, that's brown sugar.

I didn't mean to fucking... What is that? It's just brown sugar. That's okay. You were snorting that? No, I was just pretending. Oh. Sorry.

Dude, I don't mind. I'm just trying to go with your followers. You're followers. I just think you're now you're covering up your drug habit, my player. Well, I'm bet too. What are you on, guy? You're jittery, you're nervous, you keep standing up, you smell. Like, what's going on?

Like, I can smell. All I have to say is Anna, banana, Ily want a Nana. Anna, banana, Billy wants a banana. And then you get to get another one. Yeah. Thank you. And then doing it. One more?

No, no, no more. We're good. Well, it's for the kids that... Let's switch gears, my guy. That sounds nice. Let's talk about Encino Man. Oh, wow. Dude, one of your best movies.

Thank you. But do you believe in cavemen? Do you believe they were real? Yes, obviously. Yes, for sure. Definitely. What do you mean? Talk to me.

Well, it's kind of like finding artifacts. Yeah. Like if you went into your backyard right now and you started digging in in the yard, you'd probably find some artifacts under there. So it's like finding an Encino man as like an artifact. But you found them, but do you believe in real history that cavemen were real? I do. And do you think they ate on the ground or up in trees? You're setting me up for a racist comment, and I'm not going to go there, Harland. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did they gnarf a zebra fibria up in a tree, or did they gnarf an antelope leg?

Down below. Okay. Yeah. And then let's talk science. This is a tough one. Dude, people want to know science. I think you can just ask me questions and I don't have to answer any of them. Well, I think only you know the answer because you didn't see no man.

But what happened between? Homo erectus, no, yeah, Homo erectus and Homo sapien. We had, like, where's the transition critter, the missing link? What are you making, you're making noises? What is that? Are you sleeping? What? I'll keep going.

What is the transition creature between Homo erectus and Homo. sapient. Who was the homo in the middle? And if you want to fill it in, we had Homo erectus, which is the Neanderthal, and then we had Homo sapien, which is us. Who was the homo in the middle? The missing... Why are those people staring at us over there? What people? Right over there. Do you see dead people? Yes, I see some people right up there. What do they look like, guy? Like your neighbors or something.

Why are they staring up at us? What describe them? It's very, because usually what happens is when I'm on podcasts, I've been on a lot of podcasts, by the way. They ask me questions, and what do I do? Why? I answer them. Well, you didn't answer this one.

I asked it four times. We had Homo erectus and Homo sapien. Where's the Homo in between? What? It's not that hard, guy. What are you doing? Oh, here we go. Oh, you're going to show me the homo in between.

Oh, there's the homo in between. Yeah, work it. Work it. Oh. Keep touching yourself. Keep touching yourself. What do you mean? Why are you fucking faking like you're not touching yourself?

You said, I'm touching myself. I'm rubbing my old- Down there, you son of a bitch. Down here? Yeah. Okay. I'm touching my knees. No, no, no, no.

What do you want me to touch? Crotch. Oh. It stings. Look how much fun we're having. Oh, dude. I know. What's up?

We're just doing bits, you guys. Don't fucking freak out. Oh. Ask me the next question. So in C-N-O-Man, it was a fun movie. I love it. I know, but I really would like to have a scientific conversation with you. Yeah, we can do bits.

Yeah, you can be cracked out on meth. Right. Yeah, you can be on opioids. Yeah, you can work the missing link banana. But can we just talk about what happened to the creature in between caveman and us? Where is it? What is it? Why isn't it?

Talk to me, guy. Pita! Pita? Remember we did the Pita. Yeah, but that's old. I know. I'm trying to bring your back. But these are some diehards that are watching.

They remember that one. But they're scientists watching. They're scientists watching. So what's the thing in between the... Homo sapien and the what? And Homo erectus and Homo sapien. Well, it's basically, it's a, I mean, I know the answer. Well, say it.

Okay, so a triangular situation. Yeah. And it's mostly interpreted by the biological clocks that are ticking over in the moon area by the avocado tree. And that's why I'm trying to tell you when, you know, what's up, bro? You know what I mean? Whoa, dude. I didn't even think you'd know the answer. Speaking of triangles, you mentioned, is that fair game?

You brought up triangles. Is that fair game for us to talk about? Have you ever been to Cracker Barrel? Yes. Have you seen on the table they have these triangle things. They're called IQ testers and they get the little pegs. Yes. And you test your IQ by seeing if you can eliminate all the pegs and only have one peg left.

Correct. How many pegs did you get down to? I didn't do the thing I was too busy eating my omelet with my grits Oh yeah and then also my pancakes Amber Well I'm so stupid

I took all the pegs out And just put the triangles on my eyes And told everyone in the restaurant I was a giant pumpkin monster And they all ran out And then I ate the food off their plates That's cool Because pumpkins have

What are you doing? I saw Harlan on your podcast What do you tell This is my podcast No, but I saw you interviewing Harlan Williams on your podcast. That's not possible, bro. I can't be in two places at once. Yeah, it was.

You need some more on your forehead. Amber. Why do you keep calling Amber? Do you need help? Amber, can you come? How does this look? Just step around that camera, Amber, so that you'll get off. No, no, I mean, just don't stay in front of it when you're...

When are we going to start the interview? I'm waiting for your makeup to be right. And then we're going to start. Here, just look. Yeah. So you can, so we can go over some of the questions. Okay, well, you're getting your face fixed. And I really should have a construction team up here, not Amber.

Look it. We got, thank you, sweetie. Oh, here's another movie. Chinese, look it. We both got our glasses. Oh, wow. My man. My man.

My man. My man. Anna, banana. Dan, Dana. Do you want a banana? I don't want any more fucking bananas. Why not? What if Billy wants a banana?

What if I did a Jamaican? On a banana man. The Billy want a banana man. No? What do you think? What? My body. I don't know if flab's coming back.

Sure. What do you think? Dude, I don't know if flab's a thing anymore. You're the only guy I've seen that made a muscle and it goes down. Like it went the other way. Like you did a muscle and your tricep popped down. Like you know Oprah Winfrey has that flab under her arm? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I have.

Oh, you're right there. Hold your arm up and whack it. No, like back and forth. Yeah, you got Oprah flab. Here's a question because you've been in the movie thing. Oh, scrunchy. Scunchy. Daddy want a munchy.

Billy wants some lunchy. Scunchy, scrunchy. Billy wants some munchy. Lunchy. Lunchy. You're getting it. Silly bowls. Silly balls.

That's the thing for the women, right? Or from the... That's grammar. Grammar. Let me ask you this, my player. Do you think you would have been better, and this is a real question, do you think you would have been better

in Back to the Future than Michael L. Jackson? Michael H. Macy. Michael J. Fox. Yeah. Do you think you would have been better? And if so, how? Talk to me.

Oh, wow. That's a biggie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk to me. Take your time. If you need to go and get blasted or shoot up or anything first, that's cool. You need to smoke some gonger or crack.

Smoke crack out of a horrors cellulite hole. or boil some black Afghanistan opium and snorted out of a dead dog's eye socket. I don't know how you roll. I'm just trying to... It's like I'm chat GBT. Like you asked me this question. More like fat KFC. Or fat GB...

Yeah, fat KFC. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. No, so I was downloading all the information that you were saying into my... computer chip so then they can spit it out properly for you and I can answer you in a way that makes sense. So regard... Go ahead. So regarding me being... Why are you gesturing like that? Like now you're making fun of me again. I was about to do scrunchy, scrunchy, Billy wants some lunchy. Because you're taking so long.

When you do all these pauses, all I can think about is the children with their jack mouth and silly bowls. Scrunchy. Scrunchy. Billy wants some lunchy. There you go. Yeah. Okay. So Michael J. Fox was way better than me

in that particular film. He played a character very corn husky, very middle America, very kind of mall. He's like a mall guy. Yeah. You know, America. You know, my, that's not what I, that's not my thing. Well, what would you, how would you have played it? How would Polly Shore have

presented in back to the future? Well, I don't know. I mean, maybe this will help. Polly, I've got to get back to the future. Great Scott! Does that inspire an answer or anything? Or if you could stop

stretching your giant earlobes? Like, I've never seen such big earlobes. You haven't. Like, pull it. Like, that thing's like a four-incher. It's like a clit. Jesus, is that what you're doing? pretending it's a clit and you're rubbing it?

I got to call my agent. I'll be right back. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the one who booked me on this fucking show. Yeah, is agent code for Afghan black heroin? Yeah. Okay. Why are you posturing up now? Oh, you rolled out like a

cheap figure skater with no figure. God, son of flubber. How about steps on a flubber? Well, I'll continue oiling off, I guess. Well, he's there snorting. And by the way, folks, silly bulls, if you know of anyone, and it's unfortunate, we're not making fun of kids, but some kids walk into a coffee table, they'll be playing tag

in the house, they'll hit an IKEA, like an IKEA Ungerck deGlarden, which is like, oh, here. Whoa, dude. What the hell? Crunchy, Scrumcy. Daddy won the monkey. Grunchy Grunchy Billy wants some lunchy Oh speaking of lunchy This is fun You know some people

Put cucumbers on their eyes Because you were talking about Big Tire Yeah yeah yeah Dude this really helps You put Ham on your eyes It's ham

Oh wow And it really takes down the puffiness Let me join you Yeah Oh wow Oh this is called Ham on Guy Oh wow

And probably something you did on your date last night. Okay, now I feel more better, dude. Now I can answer your questions. Okay. So back to the future. So I think Michael J. Fox was better.

Yeah. That's not really my style of stuff. Okay. You know, more of like, I would have been a good sidekick for him. Okay. You know what I mean? So...

I'm sure you would have been kicked to the side. Yeah. So that's my response. Oh, you have your glasses on. Yeah. That's a good idea. Maybe I should... It'll hold the ham in place.

Yeah. Dude, you look like Daredevil fell into a fucking funeral home. Hang on, this is good. Ham on eye. We put my glasses on. So what's the next question? Well, I can't read.

There's ham in my eye. Okay, so then make something up. Okay, well, do you like science? I do like science. Yeah, I never answered that question. I'm sorry. Okay, well, do you like science from a science professor with ham eye? Yes.

Okay, okay. Okay, if two asses far, if you put two... If two asses, what? If you put two asses together And they both fart at the same time Copy Will one fart go into the other ass Or will they join together

And make like a shrimp jambalaya Like a huge like Cajun jambalaya ass fart cloud I think that the latter response to what you said I think what would happen is they would they would kind of like They would key each other out And then the smell would just kind of go in the air and then from there, if you wanted to do a light, if you wanted to torch it,

then it would go up like a tee. Does that make sense? Well, you could say that again. I missed it the first part. Well, I'm just saying if you had two butt cheeks that hit each other and they made a gas together and then they would cancel each other out and the gas would go up in the sky

and then what would happen is there would be a, you would light it and then we'd go into a like a TP that's on fire. Are you just saying? this because you have ham in your eye or do you mean it? No, I'm saying it because I have ham in my eye. Because now that I have ham in my eye, I can actually speak normal and actually, now this is when I think you should start the podcast. Okay.

So say, hey, what's up? This is my friend, Pauly Shore. One Canyon over. Give me a good intro. And then I'll just, I'll respond to everything properly. Hey, folks. Like if I were in the Theo Vaughn podcast, not some fucking schmucks podcast. Hey, folks.

Welcome to the Holland Highway podcast. We got Polly Hamai Shore. And what a great guest. Thank you so much to talk about. Thank you so much for having me here. We love what you've done with your hair. It looks like chemotherapy is coming back. Is that a chemo look that you're doing?

No, this is more like a Beatles kind of like mixed in with Crispin Glover, mixed in with like, you know, shortcake, you know, shortcake. meringue. Dude, surprise. It's full chemo. All right. Well, like if you sneezed right now, that would fly off. Dude, your glasses are fogging up.

Can we talk about the dark side of, uh-oh? Wow. Oh, the bags are gone. They're gone. Oh, my God. Thank you. Oh, wow. And with that hair, the, oh, wow.

The bags are gone, but now the fags are here. I need to take a break. Yeah, you're going to go shoot up some eight balls? I just need a break, dude. I know your fans are onto me. Well, if they say every time you leave, you're out there shooting an eight ball or cracker jacking a reef. They know, dude.

They know. They caught onto me. I can't hide it anymore. Well, is this like an intervention or what? Like, do you want to tell them what you're cracked up on? No. Andy Dick is all good now, so I'm going where he was before. You're filling in his space.

Yeah. Did you want to... He's sober now and he's like on every podcast And now I'm going in the chitter And I'm going to go on the streets Do you want to twirl out again Like a dirty piece of grape bubble gum Under a boarding school boy's stinky desk?

Oh wow Those are supposed to go on your eyes Not in your mouth What are you doing? I don't want to get all oily again You're like a sea otter And I don't even want to see you I'd rather you're just an otter

Oh God What don't you lick the cream? Oh, Billy Blast off. Why are you eating it so seductively? I love Oreo cookies. I can do it, too. I love the cookie. I love it.

I love it. Uh-oh. I think it got jackmouth. We'll see you soon. Ew. Something on your back. No, we're not finished. We still have.

one more major question. Stop playing with yourself. If you're gonna play with yourself, do it on camera. Come on, play with yourself. They want to see. Did they really think I'm on drugs, dude, for real? Dude, look at you. You look like you're not on drugs, you look like you're on the last four days of your life. Okay. Now what? Do you want cheese eyes? Chinese, you should eat the crackers on the cheese after it's been sitting on my crusty eyelids, bro. I think that would be good for you here. Ew. There's hair on it.

Eat the crackers of the cheese after it's been on my eyelid, bro. There's like chemo hair on my... There's one thing to get hair on your food, but to get chemo hair. No thanks. You've been around... You were born and raised in Hollywood, bro. And you're from Canada. I love Canadians. Why?

Guys are fucking cool as fuck. Really? Just like chill. There's something about Canadians that I really love. You rubbed them a whole rot? I can't. I can't put my finger on it, but I love Canadians. Can you put your finger up it? Up what?

A Canadian. No, I'm not going to do that. That's disrespectful. That's not my style. I don't know. With a wig like that, dude. Can I ask about the dark, dirty side of Hollywood? Because they want to know you grew up here.

Yeah, go on. What are you going to make pancakes now? I'm going to my Aunt Jemima. Amber. Amber alert. I'm going to get the pancakes. butter. Amber, we go in the closet

next to the fridge and get the Pank, the Ant Jemima pancake. This guy's luring me into like a pancake scenario. Why do you do this to me? I have questions and you pull an Ant Jemima on me. Oh, wow. Ant Jemima pancake batter.

Go ahead, make a pancake. Here he goes. Oh, The wheels are turning. You know what I like about... The wheel is turning. You know what I like about this one? You don't have to add milk and all this other stuff.

It just says just add water. What if you're lactating? Well, then it's still... Would you be honest, would you squirt your titty milk to make Antrimima pancakes? And I have a feeling you are lactating right now looking at your jugs. I probably would. You would? Yeah.

Would you tell your friends? I don't have any friends. What about your imaginary ones? They don't like me either. Oh, shit. What the fuck's going on? No, this is like you like to snort. Oh, wow.

You like to snort. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yeah, and Jemima. Snort it up, player. Oh, wow. That's good. You want some syrup?

No. I already had some of your stuff. syrup earlier. Oh. Honey. Oh. Your syrup. Oh.

Creep off, creep night creeper. Have you ever done peeping, Tom? You look like you have. Like, have you ever gone out at night and stood in their garden, stared in their window?

Oh, now I can hear you. I couldn't hear you before. That's why I was answering the questions wrong. I'm two feet away. How could you not hear me? Well, yeah, but when you funnel it through the machine, I can actually hear it a lot better. I mean, I know you got ham on your eyes.

but what do you got, ham in your ears? Green eggs and ham I am, I am. Have you ever peeped on a peeping time? From the pitch to the stands to communities around the world. The beautiful game is coming to our beautiful country, uniting fans around a shared passion. Now you have the opportunity

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Ready for what's next? Apply today at careers.timhorans.ca. I was going to cancel today, just so you know. You have cancer today? No, I said I was going to cancel today. Looking at the hair, I get it. You know what I mean? Like chemo hair.

I didn't want to disappoint you. because I know Dionne Cole was your main guest and then I was going to cancel because you found me in your trash can in the back and I was just having a beautiful day and I was like, you know what? I'll just do it and I knew it was going to be a shitty fucking interview.

What do you mean? This is great. No. We haven't even done one question yet. Relax. Here. Lady and gentlemen. Give me an intro to your podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, Aunt Jemima is here. What's that?

Is that black power or pancake power? You guys, he said he's a racist. He said it. Racist, racist. Wait, is this, is this black power? Or is this, if your Aunt Jemima, is this power to the pancakes? You guys, double racist, double or triple? Triple racist, triple racist.

Or short stack. Short stack. Yeah. Billy, Billy, want the banana. Banana. Banana. Banana. Bellu, what a banana, ma.

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365-day returns. Quince.com slash Harland. Get that summer breeze on. Get that quince. Can we talk about the dark side of Hollywood? Because you grew up here. Most people don't know that, Jemima. That's true. Can we ask, you've had some promiscuous times. Are you open to talking about some of your past escapades? Depends on what the escapades are. Okay. Like, where's the weirdest place

Polly Shore has ever done the nasty? Well, who the fuck is Polly Shore? I'm not Polly Shore. Okay, Jackmouth. What do you want me to call you? Well, then call me by my name. Jackmouth. Okay, where's the weirdest place Jackmouth has ever had sexual relations? Just inside of it.

a nice bed with flowers and some Anta-Mima mix on it? Come on! These people really want to know. They know that you used to party, you still do, your edgy Hollywood, the wheeze. You've probably had some really cool. And this isn't just

to gossip. You might inspire someone to have sex in a funeral home or behind a dairy queen or wherever. Like, where's the wildest place Jackmouth has ever had A wild sexy time.

These are real legit questions. I was bungee jumping in Cancun. No way. You had while you were... So I was with this guy. Yeah, I was with this guy. Because I'm bisexual. I told you that, right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I was with this guy, and we were humping each other, and then we jumped off, and then it went in me, in him, in me, in him, and we both orgasm at the same time,

and we bounced back up, and then we had tequila shots. Rha! So you're a, bisexual, bipolar. You're bipolar too, right? Okay. So you're two buys.

Uh-huh. And you had bungee sex. Uh-huh. Okay. In Cancun. And then we had tequila. What's that? That's me being in Cancun.

What's that got to do with anything? Well, that's where you asked me where was the most peculiar place that I had intercourse. I know, but what's the cackle-com? at the end. It sounds like you're calling in goats from a pasture. I think it's the stuff that I snorted here. It's fucked with me, man. The Aunt Jemima? Yes. Okay, so that was with a guy. You had bungee sex with a dude. What about a girl? Tell us the wildest, wackiest. She was about 600 pounds. Whoa. Yeah. Okay. And it was outside of a steak and shake. Wow, I sure was it inside? Sounds like she likes to eat. Well, yeah, we ate. And the

We went outside of steak and shake. Okay. And it was in Missouri. It was where? Missouri. Missouri. No, Missouri. They don't fucking call it Missouri.

That's what people from Canada call it. The people in fucking Missouri called motherfuck, Missouri. Dude, there's an eye on the end of Missouri. It doesn't start at all, as end at R. The people that are from Missouri that are watching this right now know what I'm talking about. It's not Missouri. That's fucking gay, bro. It's Missouri.

You don't call New York. New York. Yes, you do. You don't call California, California. Yes, you do. You might. No, that's what people do. That's the new thing. It's just got passed in the Senate just now. Dude, I'm here on this show trying to help kids with jackmouth learn how to do ciliables. And you're, what are you doing? I'm over this, bro. What do you mean? I can't do it anymore. You're ruining your makeup. You just rubbed your face.

work for me here, bro. I can't do this. These are bits after bits after bits. I'm trying to ask legit questions and you won't answer anything. Oh, God. You won't answer one question. I'd bungee dumped with a guy. Like, you know, I try to ask you if where you've had wild, outrageous sex. I don't know why you asked me to be on this besides the uncle cancels. What's with you and Dionne Cole? You're obsessed. I've seen his, his, you know, his old spice commercial when I watch it,

and I touch myself when I watch it. What do you want from me? You know, you look like you have ears now, like a dog. You look a bit like E.R. from Winnie the Pooh. Oh, here we go. Poof. Whoa. Yeah.

That's like a fairy cloud. It's fairy dust. Can you do that again? Wait, like, can I, like, pretend I'm a fairy? Yes. And then you throw it? Yes. Okay.

This is not a fucking podcast, by the way. Dude, asking for- A legitimate question is, can I pretend I'm a fairy and you throw fairy dust? Wait, let me do the thing. And then you time it, but let me start the fairy. I'm a fairy. Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap. I'm a fairy.

I'm a fairy. Fairy, fairy. Flape, flip, flip, flip, flit. Shh, being a fairy. I love, Canadians. I'm being a fairy. I'm a fairy. I'm a fairy.

I'm a fairy. I'm a fairy. Now, if you don't think that's good podcasting, you can go jump in a lake, suck the algae off the bottom, snap your spine, bend over and snort the back of your own dirty, puffed-up purple nutbag.

Please promote my, comedy gigs on the road. I'll be in My Not North Dakota. I'll be playing Huck Huck Shack. It's North Dakota. I'll be in My Not, North Dakota playing Huck Huck Shacks. And then I go to Why Not Nebraska, and I'll be playing the bowling alley there on January 7th and 8th.

And then I'm going to go to Greenboro, Greensboro, and I'll be over there performing at a signing autographs at a. at a kid's phone, at a thing where I'm signing autographs. That's syllables? Siliables. Dude, note to self, okay? If you think anyone's going to go to a Pauly Shore comedy show

after the dismal display we saw here, I haven't seen one funny thing. I know. That's why I asked you, why do you want me to be back on this? I'm just interviewing big people on my show. I don't know if you've seen a short thing. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Eddie Murphy. Tony Hinchcliff. How did you get Arnold Schwarzenegger? They know how I got these people. Who does? Phone call. Okay, let's describe the photo. Let's reenact it.

I'm Arnold. You're calling, right? This is a text. Hello? Hey, Arnold, what's up? It's the Wees. Yeah, what you want, Viz? I want you to be on my Short Thing podcast.

Your Short Thing podcast. Where is it and where is it? At my place and my studio. Oh, have you had the place fumigate? because last time I was at your place it smelled like Sharon Stone did a fucking poopie stink all over the couch.

Yes, it's fine. Okay, what time? It's domesticated for you. That time do you want me, yeah. I'll see it at 3 o'clock. 3 o'clock and I'll do the podcast. So that's it. And then when I leave your house,

you know what'll happen next? What? I'll be back. Hello? Hello? I was trying to be funny. Hello? I told you not to have to have it.

me on. I'm still on the phone and you're, where are you? Hello? Please be on my podcast again. Please, I told you. Can we just, we use. I have no more gas, bro.

One more thing. Give me one more thing. Because we've worked together. I've seen your act so that they're convinced you have an act that you're funny. Can you do one of your bits for our five or six listeners? Can you do one bit from your act? Mm-mm. I don't do bits.

One joke I don't do jokes Let's say I'm at a comedy club I'm watching you go I don't go like that Just do one for them They need to believe in something They need to believe that you have one

fragment One millenomal of comedy in you Now you're roasting me bro And then I get defensive And I'm gonna come after you motherfucker What do you mean? Legally or just? No with my fucking

My wrist here Okay well I'm gonna come right to your choke You're trying to tell me after 40 years of doing this shit they don't have any fucking jokes. I don't have to do jokes for you. It's not for me. It's for them. They're going to pay to see you. I don't need. They already

know. They don't know because you won't do jokes. So now they're sitting here going, this guy's got nothing. I ain't paying for nothing from that. And you keep pushing me down. Yeah? Yeah. Well, now I'm fucking feeling defensive. Well, now I'm lifting you up so you can show your wares. You're right. You are lifting me up.

Do one bit for the game. Okay. Okay. Here's one joke. Okay. Great. So I had sex with this girl recently That's the joke, dude Oh yeah I was gonna blame that Would you mind twirling your hair around

I think it's backwards Like that There it is And I'm Moe from the Three Stooges Now we can see the fart in the middle So yeah so I had sex with I had sex with this girl recently And when I had sex with her

She started whispering to me in my ear Okay She's whispering she's like Come in me come in And I'm like, I'm not coming in you because then if I get you pregnant, you're going to take half my residual checks from Encino Man. I'm not paying you $4.52 every other month. I'm just leaving room for the people laughing at home. I don't want to step on it.

Are you crying? Oh, boy. Here we. Dude, it's okay. Someday you'll be funny. It's okay, guy. Oh, little angel. Oh, fairy angel.

Oh, little fairy angel. Oh, it'll be okay. Here's some funny dust, little angel. Funny dust, yay. Someday you'll be funny. Funny dust. Yay. Fairy angel, funny dust.

Yay. Ha, ha, ha. Why are you hurting me? You can hear the elves laughing in the funny forest. He, ha, ha, ha, ha. The fairies with their funny dust. Why are you trying to... make me more insecure.

I'm lifting you up. You're sitting here bombing like the Titanic at a coral reef bounced off, hit Oprah Winfrey's flab, sunk another 12,000 knots, and fucking landed on a bed of nails at an Indian fucking juggling carnival. Like, you're hurting, guy.

I know, and you keep making it worse. Look, how can it be any worse when you strutting here in a purple bubble gum shirt and chemo hair? Like, dude, you've done this. to yourself and now I know why you're on drugs. What? What? Am I?

Every time I try to leave because you hurt me, I'm defeated. You know, I don't know, have you ever been defeated before? I've always had my feet. Yeah, this is what my life has become. I know a guy who's... And now you push it back in, and now you fucking push it in harder? I know a guy who is in Afghanistan who stepped on a landmine who's defeated. Yeah, I understand. That's not good.

But I'm also saying that, you know, I walk around. and everyone puts me down, and then I come here and you put me down too. How do you walk around when you're defeated? Because I'm on things. You know what I mean? And when you're on things, you're already hurting. And then I come back here to try to spend some time with you, and then you make me feel worse.

I gave you every opportunity to display your wares and be funny. I don't have any joke. And you scumped out. You left a giant skid mark across the face of America. This goes out all over the world. Canada, too. The Hala Highway goes all over the world, and you skidmarked right across the globe. I can't wait to read these comments.

You're like... You know what? This might be my last time doing this fucking thing. I don't know what it is. Like, if people could see you when we turn the cameras off, you ever see a dog pull its ass across a carpet after it takes a loaf? That's going to be you out in the yard. Just skidmarking across America. You know, I didn't sign a document to say, you can't air this.

FYI. You cannot you can't air this. Why not? Because you put me down. I don't want this energy out there, you cuck, sucker. Dude, what if... Will this make it better? Billy want a Nana. Nana, na, na, na, na, na, na.

Billy want banana. Now I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're not going to... You're not going to deep throat that again, are you? Don't. Dude, don't end it like this.

Don't end it like this dirty. Don't do yourself dirty, dude No This is all I got You're not going to do me dirty, are you? Don't you... Don't you dare Oh, God, I thought you're going to shove it in my mouth

We'll meet at the pickleball place in an hour, right? Yeah, I'll be there. Can't miss me. Yeah, I had a really great time. Pugh. Folks, He's off snorting, shooting, tweaking, oxy-cottoning, good old jackmouth. That's it for today.

Put some ham on your eyes, get some rest. And until next time, chicken chamein, baby. Wait, what? Wait, we're done, though. I had a great time. But you can't come. I already ended it. Oh, it's been in?

So they think you're gone. Oh, huh. And then you came back in and wrecked it. Oh, that's right. Not that you didn't wreck it the first time, right at the beginning. Well, folks, as you know, the war in Iran between the United States and Iran has been going on for a number of months now. It's almost like people have sort of forgotten it. And so we wanted to check in with our military expert, Lieutenant Commander, French Colonel,

Sergeant Tom Dowdy down there in Camp Pendlington. He's a military expert. He's dedicated his life to service in the American military. And so we thought we'd get his feedback on what's going on. Let's check in Lieutenant Commander Navy SEAL Tom Dowdy. Are you there, sir? Yes, sir. Sir, how are you today?

Why would you need to know that? Well, sir, it's just a pleasantry. I'm just asking how your state of being is. I'd like to keep you in and all it. Okay, sir, I was just trying to, you know, strike up some conversation. Do you hear my lips moving surrealian? Yes, sir. What do you mean, sir?

Let me make it easy for you to put that all together. Sir? pattern and in turn become clear you are sorry yeah i i don't mean to get on the off on the wrong foot here but okay sir the the the straight of hormoos uh seems to be the the focal point right now of the operation in iran uh it's where a big percentage of the world's oil passes through that Waterway. Can you talk to us about the strategy behind controlling it, how you think this will play out? Sure. Why not? But you said the word straight.

Yes, sir. Sir? Yes, sir? What word, sir? Straight? What? What? Wait, wait, are you? What are you implying, sir? Whig Shop. Sir, are you implying that I'm homosexual? I'm not implying. Look at your life through a microscope. You'd see one microbacterial and a steamy,

steamy bathhouse way down there in Korea Town. Sir, can we focus on the straight of Hermose? Well, let me tell you, you want to have strategic advantage points. You want to do something we call

choke off the enemy, restrict their movements, and strip them of their ability to have any kind of military advantage. Okay, sir, this sounds reasonable. Oh, it's reasonable, all right.

The same way your wife's reasonable when she's scraping relish off her legs after a nice... What? A... Relish bath. Yeah. Let's not pretend you're soaking relic.

Sir? Sir, my wife, I'm not even married. Why do you always bring up my wife? Anyway. Hormuz. Okay, sir, if we could not kind of dip into that. Terminology, well, let me tell you there. Pepperidge Farm Pimplep.

You heard me. Sir, if we could just stop from the name calling. Let me tell you something. can't handle the words, then how are you going to be out in the field when your fucking comrade's leg blows off from a landmine, twirls through the air, spins like a cirque to so lay chinaman, and kick you right in the fucking tits? Sir, what? Can we not? Oh, yeah. How about you're standing there with your fellow soldier, and an F-16 sniper bullet was hard and lungs out. sucks them into the top of a pine tree. An owl makes a nest with them and lays owl eggs all over his innards.

Sir, whoa! Yeah, woe is right. You're going to sit there in your dirty, lazy boy lounge chair or that can of sour cream and onion pringles chips and pick your toenails with your sister's toothbrush. Well, then you can do this. You can put on your leopard spot bikini briefs, take a long tipto-walk up Barney Rubble Boulevard, and jump face first into a pile of Siamese cow tits.

Sir, if you, wow, can we get back to the straight? Oh, now we're back there, are we? Sir, I am not. What? I'm not a fly, I'm not home of. You were going to say fly, boy, weren't you? No, I meant to say, oh. homosexual.

Funny. I'm not a flyboy, and who says flyboy? Listen to the massage master down into your Vietnamese massage diarrhea soaked back. I don't have a pimpley, sir? YMCA of each other's legs underneath the hair snitch.

Sir, I don't. Would you stick to the thing? You can jury army boot right on the neck of humanity. We decide when people go shopping. Decide when you lay down at night and put your dirty pink monster in... Sir, but it's not a sea cave. You call your wife's Grand Canyon.

I don't have a wife... Sir. What is that? That's the sound of a wind whistling through you. Sir, I know war is a dangerous game... Oh, you do that time in Vietnam the way I did, crawling through the... Bien-Bien forest of the jungles in the middle of the night with vampire bats flying down, sniffing your ass, and licking blood-licking army ants out of your sweet and sour nostril holes? I don't think so. You ever lay in the mud, and a mud-skipper jumps in your face.

Fucking eggs and at three in the morning, you've got a family of frogs having a Chinese barbecue on your face. Sir, are you drinking? But I got a lot of trauma. Sir? I got a lot of trauma. Catch yourself a speckled trout. Shake it as hard as it can. Hope the speckles fly off, land on your face.

You can look in the mirror, put a red wig on, and call yourself pippy longstocking. You dirty carnival barking, snot-sucking freak. Sir, can we get back to the oil and how do we control it? How do we, where do we go from here now that we've got control of the Strait of Hormuz? Out of there. And if they don't play by Aru, like an old man at a YMCA hot tub doing a chili's fucking cheeseburger fart and popping a water baby right up into the world. Sir, a water baby?

Yeah, that's when you fart underwater. You ever try to turnip teeth? I'm not turnip teeth, sir. Why are we talking about underwater fart babies when there's a war going on? Because just stink. Water babies stink once they rise up from under the water. I get it, sir.

It's not pretty. You bet your ass it's not pretty. Pretend you have a Victoria's seat Dunk at an after party You wander out You trip over your own high heels And your angel wings Pull you down to the asphalt

A 19-seal Looked like a potato That fell off a Donnie Osmond's fucking forehead Sir, this is a bit of shit Shut up, carpet cleaner teeth I don't have carpet cleaner teeth Electric Flyboys

at the YMCA man that are... I'm not a flyboy, sir, and that term is very derogatory. Can we not? Now, in conclusion, because this is getting a little scattered here, what is the end game for the war in Iraq? Yes, sir? Yeah, to hang around on Sesame Street and eat cookies with Oscar the Grouch. Don't you mean the cookie monster?

Yeah. What? Of course they did. And what formation to the Canadian? A V? What does V stand for? Victory? In Iran, Canadian geese flying around so fast that our feathers make all the cleaning ladies across the country.

Squat over a log. Sir, what are you saying? What is that even? What? Rousins are in your voice. I don't have a loo. loser in my voice, sir. Oh, really? Yes, sir?

Sally bought a horse. A horsey run up hill. Horsey trip on stick. All down hilly hill hill hill. What? Horsey ran up hill. Horsey stepped on stick. Horsey found down hilly hill hill hill hill.

Horsey broke his leg. And, sir, I'm not... Can we wrap this up? Where does this end? This end with a minute. Sir? China, Russia, and your sister's giant hair-filled ass crack. It has so much hair.

Lives in there. Eat sunflower seeds. Sir, if you could leave. Why my sister? Why not? Carpet bag of face? What is with the carpet thing? Now, could you wrap this up?

America will not be defeated. It will not be crushed. We're going to lay you down like a loaf of fucker on you, slap you together, and stick you to the wall of anywhere down into you want to. Okay, sir, I think, have you been boozing? Okay, sir, I think we're going to wrap it up. Any final comments? Yeah, giant log of shatming in the four international.

House of pancakes pound of manure. Sir, God! Get on your shit. Sir, what the... Fuck off. What the, sir, what... Hold on. What in the name...

What is... Why do I even call that guy? Folks, I hope that gives you some clarity on where we are with this war. I'm probably a little more confused. Is he gone? I'm just, what is with my sister? Anyways, folks, that's it. I hope this helped.

God bless our troops. God bless America. Let's go. I'm just baffled. What is wrong with that guy? Hey, everybody, how would you like your very own personal video message from me, yours truly? It's your birthday? anniversary at your graduation or you just want me to make you laugh you get to pick the

topic you want me to discuss give me some talking points and off we go you can get it for yourself or get it for a friend it's super easy and fun just go to the cameo app on your phone or to camio.com and i record a custom video made just for you or your loved one your very own personalized harland