The Harland Highway - Podcast 107

Episode Date: May 5, 2010

My encounter with 2nd man on the moon Buzz Aldrin. Space fluid fever! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, a 4, a 3, a 2, 1, a lift-off. Yes, you have just lifted off. On to the Harland Highway, did some of you think I was doing the count from Sesame Street for a minute? That would be fun, right, if the guys at NASA did that? 10 9 3 2

1 1 liftoff No that's just a little hint I'm doing something a little different today Normally my show bounces from topic to topic You know we do all kinds of things

Today This is an unusual one I don't think I've ever done this But I'm sticking to one theme The whole show So I hope you like it I think it's something that's very interesting It's something that we've kind of forgotten about in our culture.

It's kind of popped up in the news lately a little bit, but I find it fascinating, and I'm hoping with this podcast I can reinvigorate your interest, or at least you'll get a little bit excited hearing some of this stuff today on the Harland Highway. So strap in, put your helmet on, ladies and gentlemen, because you're about to take off right here on the Harland Highway. You just made a wrong turn Would you kindly shut your mouth onto the Harland Highway

Oh, it's lovely, it's just lovely The Harlan Highway Hi, Harlan! I'm Teddy Routspin' and I'm your friend! Writing down the Harlan Highway I'm not your daddy Oh, my God. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so very excited. I met one of the ultimate celebrities, personalities, human beings. One of the people I always wanted to meet in my life. I met just the other day, and I couldn't have been more thrilled. I was like a kid meeting this guy. and you know what I won't tell you who it is listen to this and this will kind of give you a hint

okay Neil we can see you coming down the ladder now we can see you coming I'm going to step off the lamb now that's one small step for man One giant leap for man-guess. Okay, did you figure it out? All right, it wasn't that guy. That was Neil Armstrong, the first human being ever to step onto another world, another place,

another piece of solid material outside of our own planet. It wasn't him, but it was the second man to ever step on the moon. which was a man by the name of Buzz Aldrin, okay? I couldn't be more excited. Let me tell you the story. I'm on a plane. I'm flying home from a film festival. And sitting in front of me is this white-haired guy,

and he's wearing the blue, like, NASA jacket, and the American flag on the shoulder, and he's chatting away to the guy sitting in front of him. and I thought I could tell it was the guy. I thought it was buzzed, so I asked the flight attendant. She confirmed that it was him. And I was like, oh, my God, here I am on a plane. Okay, I'm on an airplane with one of the only men in the universe

to step outside of our planet, which to me blows my mind. Okay, you can have your celebrity sighting. you can have your autographs. You can have your Paris Hilton's and your Jack Nicholson's and your Sean Penns and your Marlon Brandos and all those people. But, man, there's a guy that has stood, I won't say another world because the moon is kind of dead, but let's just say for the sake of this conversation,

he stood on another world, man. Think about that. Think about the odds, the ingenuity, the accomplishment, the imagination. Think of all the elements that came into place to get a human being all the way to the moon. If you can look out your window right now and see the moon way, way, way, way, way, way, way up there. And then look around you, and if you see a human being, picture a human being. picture a human being around you standing on the moon. It's almost incomprehensible.

Okay? So my thing in life is I always thought, you know what, I would love to have an autograph, and the autograph I would love to have is Needle Armstrong. Because when history looks back, you know, history will probably forget a lot of world leaders. History will forget a lot of actors and singers and artists. and politicians and all that.

But history will never forget the human beings, probably the first two or three. You know, since then there's been a few more. They'll probably be forgotten, to be honest, I don't even know their names, and I feel bad about that. But history will never forget the first human to step off of planet Earth.

That's a biggie. Okay, that's a huge one. People will always remember that, because you've got to believe that someday humanity will be flying around in space. Star Wars stuff as bizarre as it may seem will probably happen eventually. Star Trek stuff will probably happen. At the rate our technology is growing, at the rate we are reaching out and exploring, and the rate our population is growing and the rate that we actually need to expand

probably to save this planet that we're on right now, you'd have to be a fool to not think we're going to be living on other planets or at least trying to or living in space or colonizing the moon or Mars. Yeah, I know you're like, what are you crazy, man? What are you an idiot?

What a dreamer. Well, guess what? Back in the 50s and 60s, they said the same thing. You go back and watch any old Twilight Zone episode, any old sci-fi movie, read any old comic. Every one of them was like, fantasy on the moon, man on the moon, aliens on the moon. Everyone was like, yeah, right, we're going to go to the moon. And we did. And that's where we're at now.

There's probably naysayers going, oh, we're never going to go to Mars or this or that. Well, guess what, we're already on Mars. There's been many rovers and probes. and things that have landed on Mars and on other planets. Or they're circumnavigating other planets. They're sending data back. I don't have to give you the whole space program here, do I? But we're already on the move, people.

Now, granted, things have slowed down a little. You know, we probably should have been much farther along with our space activities. But, you know, people get hung up on, what the hell are we going to the moon when there's homeless people here? Well, guess what? There's always going to be homeless people, okay? But maybe going to the moon, maybe expanding our horizons, maybe getting into the future will help alleviate homeless people.

Maybe we'll find scientific answers on other planets. Maybe we'll find things that will aid people's health. Maybe we'll create a planet just for homeless people. I don't know, but to just sit back on Earth and not even expand our hearts. horizons, and, you know, you can keep paying homeless people, giving them handouts for the end of eternity. But I think if we move forward, the whole human race moves forward and evolves, and maybe we alleviate homelessness and disease and sickness.

You've got to keep reaching people. Look at all the resources on earth. Look at the medicines derived from plant life and animal life. and poisons off the backs of toads and berries and mushrooms and fungus that help cure human ailments. Well, who's to say out there on other planets there aren't bacterias and plant life and lichen and things of the sort that help us?

I'm pretty sure there has to be. But anyways, I'm getting away from my point here. My point is, Buzz Aldrin was sitting right next to me, right in the seat in front of me, on this plane. For a minute, I just saw, you know, his face silhouetted in the little plane window, and I pretended I was on a space mission with him. Yeah, Buzz, this was Harlow Williams. Do we have clearance for landing? Yeah, Harlan, this is Buzz here.

Yeah, we're good to go. Let's bring this puppy down. Yeah, Buzz, one more thing. Yeah, Harlan, go ahead. Buzz, would you like the chicken or the fist? Up yours, Harlan. Okay, thank you. But what's great is after we landed,

I walked up to Buzz and I introduced myself and I shook his hand, man. You know, and I put my hand. in the hand of a man that's been on another world there was just I was giddy afterwards I was like this is special this is this is something

you know this is something that people will remember through when people when the human race is whisking around in space yeah they're always going to look back they're going to look back and they're going to want to know who was the first effing human

that had the nuts to step off of planet Earth and open the gates to where the human race is now. It'll be Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin will be the names people remember. Incredible. I mean, you can argue about your movie stars. Okay.

All right, let me ask you this. Who are the huge movie stars of the 50s? The 20s, the 30s, the 40s, the 60s, the 60s. the 60s. Do you even know the big movie stars of the 70s, the 80s even? Can you name all the presidents? Can you, you know, name your politicians? You know, they fade.

They fade away. And history kind of lets them fade away. Sure, you could go and dig them up in the archives. But believe me you, future generations, Generations will not be remembering Sean Penn 400 years from now. 400 years from now, people will be looking up, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. Believe me. So if you're an autograph hound, if you're someone who seeks celebrity, those are the ones to get. Those are priceless. Because those guys opened the door to the new world.

they opened the door to the human race moving beyond planet Earth and I got to shake one of the guy's hands who stood on that planet I want you to listen to this once again this is Neil Armstrong

and just imagine in your mind that first moment when you're stepping down onto a whole new world. You don't even know what the surface of the moon is. It could be quicksand and eat you alive. Who knows? Let's listen once more to the first moment

man stepped on another planet. And just so you know, it was on July 20th, 1969. It was the Apollo 11. 600 million people watched this moment. And that was back in the 6th, 60s when, you know, probably three quarters of the world didn't have a TV. Still 600 million people watched.

Buzz and Neil spent 21 hours jumping around on the surface of the moon. They collected 48 pounds of moon rocks. And I'm going to play this famous clip for you one more time, and then we'll come back and talk about it some more. Okay, Neil, we can see you coming down the ladder now. I'm going to step off the lamb now. That's one small step for man. One giant leap for man comes.

Oh, amazing. It's amazing. And here's a little history on that quote. He actually did not do that line spontaneously. he prepared it in advance with his wife. So they worked on that together. And I guess the original quote was, this is one small step for a man,

one giant leap for mankind. And I guess according to him, he flubbed the line and he forgot to put A in there. One letter. One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind. And I think it's always funny how things work out for the right reason.

because I don't think it sounds as fluid with a man. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus, 100%. percent free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast.

Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adameneve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything. you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use

this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. You know, I think it captures the essence more. It applied to all of us when he said just man. You know, it felt more like he was talking about us instead of just singular talking about himself. So I guess initially it should have been, this is one giant step for a man, in one giant leap for a mankind.

No, he wasn't going to say it like that. But so I like it that it ended up the way it did. So there you go. Let's play a little bit more. And this is Neil Armstrong, just when he gets onto the surface and he's experiencing the texture of the moon. And pitch of yourself, like I said earlier, picture yourself being that first person not knowing if the moon is toxic,

if the dust is alive, if there's Martians waiting underneath, if it's quicksand, if it's, you know, who knows? You know, all we know is what we know about Earth. We don't know what's on other planets. we can theorize, but imagine stepping into an completely unknown entity, not knowing, and you're the first guy to do it. And not only are you first guy to do it, you somehow made it in a little tiny space capsule, you know,

powered by fossil fuel, and you traveled all that distance, and it just boggles the mind. So here we go, Neil Armstrong, experiencing that first step, onto the surface of the moon. Okay. I'm at the foot of the ladder. The lamb footbeds are only depressed in the surface about one or two inches. Although the surface appears to be very fine-grained as you get close to it.

It's almost like a powder. Wow. He's just stepped on to the surface of the moon. Hello, what did you do today? God, how exciting. How do you top that in life? What do you do the rest of your life to top that moment, man? I mean, you could go to Mardi Gras, you could go to watch the ball drop in Times Square. You can have a threesome. I don't know how you top, being the first human being,

to step onto another planet, not another planet, but another world. Let's listen to a little bit more. This is him describing what it's like standing on the lunar surface. As the surface is fine and powdery, I can pick it up loosely with my toe. it does adhere in the fine layers like powdered charcoal to the skull and sides of my boots. I only go in a small fraction of an inch, maybe an eighth of an inch, but I can see the footprints of my boots and the treads in the fine standing particles. Hey, this is Houston.

We're copying. Oh, that is so cool. Is it just me? Am I overreacting here? Am I, are you guys like, get over the moon thing, Harland? Well, no, I'm not going to get over the moon. I'm not a cow. Wait a minute.

No, I'm getting mixed up here. No, I, in this day and age where we take everything for granted and, you know, we've got all our technology and we're wrapped up in stupid news stories. This was a real accomplishment, people. This was a real something, something. And to think that this happened in the 60s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s,

we're like, this thing's like 50 years old almost. I mean, what the hell? we have done we you know people are yelling at obama for uh you know cutting back on the space program i don't think we should man i say keep going i think we should have been a lot further if we're on the moon in the 60s we should have been we should i should have a condo on mars right now man i should be planning my march break uh you know by a crater at the edge of mars with a with a nice rim view. Okay. But anyways, I'll tie this thing up. Again, I can't stress how excited I was to shake hands with Buzz Aldrin. But I also remember I was just a little kid when this thing

happened, when the guys stepped on the moon. And the reason I remember it, it happened in the summer. And every summer, me and my family, we went to our cottage, which is up in the middle of nowhere in the middle of a forest on a lake and we had no phone we had no tv all we had was radio up there and um i remember for the first time ever my dad he was in the city working and he came up on the weekend and he brought our small black and white tv um from the city and i'll never forget it was it seems so weird to have a tv at our cottage and the old man plugged it in and turned it on and there we were huddled around that damn thing watching the first man land on the moon and we're getting a picture on the TV and isn't it bizarre that

not only a guy landed on the moon but somehow they're able to send pictures back and they're able to talk to the guy like almost like he was next door like on a watch talky or something, and it boggles the mind. Not only is it happening, but somehow we've created the technology that we can watch it and hear it and be there as it happens. Unbelievable, man. I wish something that exciting would happen to us humans again soon.

And that was the beauty of the space program, man. It gave us something to dream about. It gave us something to let our imagine. and nations go to it. It gave us something to hope for, to quest for. Nowadays, it just seems everyone's going in a circle. How's Wall Street? How's your stock portfolio?

How's your bank account? Have you paid your mortgage yet? Blah, blah, blah, blah. Have you watched Dancing with the Stars? Blah, blah. Have you been to the food court? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If you've been to Disneyland, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You know? It's like whoopi-doo. It's just like hamsters on a wheel, man. this gave us something to dream about to let the human imagination soar so for what it's worth my small voice this is one small voice for iPod one giant

whatever as far as my voice goes let's get back out there man I can't get back out there soon enough so there you go that's my man on the moon and I know I almost used up the whole podcast, but it was exciting. Whose autograph do you have that's exciting?

If you want to call me 323-215-1486 and tell me your exciting story, I'd like to see you top that. In fact, you know what? If anybody out there has Neil Armstrong's autograph or met Neil Armstrong, leave me a message at 323-215-14-188. or write me at harlemwilliams.com.

And I want to hear your story, your experience, right here on the provocative exploratory Harland Highway. Not tomorrow, not next year, but sometime before the year 2000 AD, this amazing event will take place. And now you will be part of it, rocketing beyond the horizon of our time, to join the greatest human adventure of all time. is the world of the future. One step beyond your wildest imagination and your strangest dreams, where science has gone berserk with grotesque experiments

in the ungodly art of flesh fusion. Ever since time began, man has been fastened. Man has been fascinated by the mystery of the moon. This is how it began. This is a solemn moment in history of mankind. We're off! What's happening? Just as I predicted, shot into space with the speed of a bullet!

The story of the first men to bridge the quarter million miles between heaven and earth. First Men in the Moon. An experience unparalleled on the screen as two worlds meet and clash. Cover! Hel me, come on! First Men in the Moon, starring Edward Judd, first human to set foot on a strange new world in space. in space. Martha Hire, the first woman to experience the indescribable dangers of this other world. Stay away from the arrow, shoot!

Final Jeffreys, who discovers an empire beyond imagination. First Men in the Moon. Filmed in Dynamation. Dynamation, miracle of the screen. The miracle of the screen captures the whole marvelous, miraculous story of man's first journey to the moon. You'll discover human ant-like creatures, H.G. Wells called selenites and giant gastropods. Cover, run! Fear some moon monsters to be hunted and killed.

You will encounter another world of ear, beauty and infinite mystery. Soon others will be coming from earth. Our canteris will be strewed with dead. I'm the only one who holds the secret of cabaret. Then you and your secret will remain here on the moon. Cabo! Cabo! This is not an audience.

You're on trial! No, Benjamin! No! You're convicted! Yep, that's... how they used to envision going to the moon way back in the day. And look how far we've come. We've gone from that to Harland Williams sitting on a United Airlines flight from Oklahoma to Los Angeles,

pretending he's in the Apollo 11 with Buzz Aldrin, and asks him if he wants the chicken or the fish, And Buzz Aldrin tells them to go stuff it. Wow, we have come a long way, people. Well, there you go. That was a whole show dedicated to me bumping into Buzz Aldrin, but what the hell? A phenomenal human being, a risk taker, a hero, a pioneer,

a men among men. how many of you would do what he did, especially back in the days when technology was pretty damn primitive. Those guys basically flew up there in a tin can. I mean, picture your oldest computer, okay? Your oldest laptop, your oldest stand, your oldest computer from the 70s, or the 80s, or the 90s,

and then remember that these guys went, to the moon in the 60s, okay? So, tip of the hat, great to meet Buzz Aldrin. I hope you get to meet your heroes someday. And I'm sure you will, as long as you keep driving down, the Harland Highway, you'll bump into them. And until next time, a nice floating zero-gravity bowl of Chicken Chow, Maine, baby.

Who holds the secret of Cabarite? Then you and your secret will remain here on the boom.