The Harland Highway - PODCAST 166

Episode Date: September 17, 2010

This episode I sit down and have some great laughs with my friend Deven Green. Lots of fun stories, sweetsies, and even some singing too. Holy broiled butter sauce! Learn more about your ad choices. ...Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You just made a wrong turn. Would you kindly shut your mouth? On to the Harland Highway. Oh, it's lovely. It's just lovely. The Harlan Highway. Hi, Harlan! I'm Teddy Routspin' and I'm your friend. Riding down the Harland Highway. I'm not your daddy.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Hey, everybody, it's Harland Williams, back with you again on the Harland-Zackeray Highway. Yes, the highway has a middle name in Zachary, and I have an amazing guest for us today. She came all the way up here on her moped, and she is out of sight, as they say, in the 70s, the 90s, and the 30s. one of my best dearest old friends from way back in the day when I was getting my career going in Toronto and this individual we stayed in touch over the years we've worked on a number of comedy projects together she's taken off in her own right into her own comedy world
Starting point is 00:01:15 and enough blabbering my good buddy my talented super funny buddy my beautiful buddy Devin Green is here How are you doing, baby? Ku-R-U-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K. Take your ass ready to be slapped with some back bacon and snowbees. Oh, my God. That's the McKenzie brother's Luke Koo-Koo thing.
Starting point is 00:01:40 I think we've got to do it together, don't we? Yeah, ready? Go-Look-Koo-Koo-Koo-Koo-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-Koo. Take off to the Great White Doop? Take off, Hoeser. We grew up on that stuff, didn't we? Oh, I loved it. That was influential.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Was it really? Oh, of course. SCTV? Yeah. Those are the greatest characters ever, and they still hold up. They're timeless, they're not dated, and they could bring them back today and still do shows. Funniest damn thing in the world. Yeah, aren't they the best, those guys?
Starting point is 00:02:15 I've actually, I've been hanging out a little bit with Joe Flaherty, the guy that does Count Lloyd. And the guy, he's just hilarious. He's like, you know, you know that Carrie, he did that character, Guy Caballero in the wheelchair. In the wheelchair, he's like that guy in real life. Like the first time I'm out, he's like, hey, how are you doing, Harlan? He does that little laugh and stuff. He's awesome. But you, now, speaking of sketch, you are an incredible sketch comedy performer.
Starting point is 00:02:45 You and your husband have been doing it together for years. You and Joel. Yeah, since 1990. And tell us about that. Well, since 1998, we've been together doing our two-person comedy deal. It's like a talking Shields and Yarnel. Shields and Yarnel. We've got to talk about that more of it.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Finish telling us about your stuff. We have a hoot-in-a-huller. Joel is a traditional actor. I don't really act. I'm very insincere. Are you being insincere right now? Thank you. I love it.
Starting point is 00:03:17 It feels tasty. It's like I have a coating of cinnamon on. Well, it's good in your mouth. Hello, Dr. Jerry. So where do you guys do your performing? And don't do the Satan voice on me. You know, we've had, because we can change up our act, We can do super clean.
Starting point is 00:03:35 Trust me, we can swear for an hour, but that's not really something that we need to do. Just since you mentioned it, give me one of your favorite swear words. Vigine. Vigene. Sounds like a window cleaning product. Can we get some Vigine on that glass? My lady hamper is dirty. My lady hamper.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Joel, you have porn mouth. It's round. Sticky. Oh my god, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Oh, my God. You're a thirsty little change since. So you guys do, you guys perform together and you do, you do. So we performed for the troops, the U.S. troops overseas in the Middle East.
Starting point is 00:04:20 We've performed in maximum security prisons. Really? All male, maximum security prison. Performed up in the Arctic. We perform in private shows. You do like corporate. shows and people can book you and stuff like that. Yeah, we do private, like, at celebrities' mesons.
Starting point is 00:04:40 And it's, like, incredible, like, whose line is it anyway, second city style improv sketches and things like that? Yeah, that's a portion of it. Plus, we have a musical portion. We're going to be doing a music video. You know that song, Empire State of Mind with JZ and Alicia Keys? Yeah, yeah. So the chorus is New York.
Starting point is 00:05:00 We do a song about meat called Pulled Poor. Hello. Oh, yes. Have you ever pulled pork in real life? Well, who hasn't? I'm over 18. It's legal here in California. Wow, your new name is Firefox for the next four minutes.
Starting point is 00:05:20 Furious. Let's get into this here. We got Devin Green here, and we got all kinds of questions to ask you. We can't wait to get inside your brain. If you had a man's name, what would it be? What would you want your man's name? name to be, if you could have one. Bluster.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Bluster. Wow. Because people would always put their fist up, they go, blister, come here. When you first said that, I pictured like some guy wandering around lost in the 100-acre wood where Winnie the Pooh is. I don't know why, because it's always blistery there. It's bluster and Ewa. Come and get something from the honey pot.
Starting point is 00:05:58 Bluster! Get off my lawn. Or crab cakes. That's always a close second. Hey, Crab Crags, hey, Cici, over here. Hey, what would you like for supper? Crabb Crag Crag Cubs, come over here. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:06:13 How about Crack cakes? How about that? Crack baby. They'll never, then you have to change it to crack teen and crack adult. Crack Grandpa. We named our little kitten when, like who, what, why, where, when. But we had two cats both named Philip, so it was equal love. I remember Philip.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Yeah, but we got a second one, pure white, with a blue eye and a green eye. So we named it the same thing. So two cats that looked the same. So we'd say, Philip, and they would both come. Oh, really? Cats that knew their names? Cats don't respond to anything. Hey, when you have lamb chops in your hand, anybody shows up for dinner.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Who doesn't like a free buffet, Harlan? Wow. When you've duct-taped sardines to your calves, yeah, that cat's coming to any name. Hey, dildo, get over here. Meow! They're honking on my heels. This is a good one because, you know, I'm going to let the audience in on this.
Starting point is 00:07:11 You're from Canada. I'm not even going to say where. You're just from Canada, okay? The Arctic. You've been exposed to the Canadian wildlife. And a lot of my listeners, and I want you to help them here, have a lot of trouble differentiating between a caribou, an elk, and a moose.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Can you please clarify the visual differences, the characteristics? help these people listening. It's about damn time I got this question. Harland, a bison is in Canada. A water buffalo is in Africa. I think that clears it up. Wait, wait, wait. You bypassed the three animals. How did you jump to a giraffe is a moose, a caribou, and an elk. Sort them out. Well, some of them melt. Oh, really? Are they chocolate? Are moose chocolate? Because they are brown.
Starting point is 00:08:06 They melt. They have their season, and they take their horns, and they rub their coat off, and they spray their pheromones in mandu. Mandu. Does that like Mountain Dew by any chance? It's good with Seven Up. Caraboo and Seven Up, that's supper. Mandu.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Wait a minute. I see what you mean. They molt. They shake the velvet off. their antlers and they get rid of their coats. The girls go crazy, seeing them naked like that. And a lot of people, there's points
Starting point is 00:08:42 on the antlers. You know, we lived off the land, but I don't eat like that anymore because there's grosseterias here. Yeah, yeah. So I have eaten bear. I've touched the blubber. I have been, have you had elk? Wait a minute. You've touched
Starting point is 00:08:57 the blubber. What do you mean? You've eaten whale meat? And whale meat, fine. Wow. I have had moose and I've had caribou. I've never eaten elk, I don't think. I tell you this, bear is very gamey. It tastes like a cacophony of the wilderness above this dew point in your mouth. It's like you're touching land when you touch bear.
Starting point is 00:09:23 What? Wait a what? Wait a minute. When did you eat a bear? You live in Hollywood. What did you go over to the gallery and tag a blackie? What the hell is? What do you mean you ate a bear? Is there something going on at Panda Express I don't know about?
Starting point is 00:09:40 It's Grizzly Mubs here at Panda Express. When did you eat a bear? Arlin, Panda kebabs are delicious with the side of brown rice. How often do you meet someone that says I ate a bear? Where did you? I need to know where you ate a bear, please. Well, look, we would have those drop-offs because we were so far up north. So we would eat really beets and turnips, and we would dip all the vegetables and wax to keep them preserved throughout the winter.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Then you'd crack the wax. Got it. Yeah. And get into that delicious beet. Okay. How did I eat bear? How did I eat bear? Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:17 So at certain points, because you can't, you don't want the animals to overpopulate. So you have to keep it down because there, it's like there's no rules. So we got some bear. and we ate part of its, like, a bear rib, like a short rib, if you will. It was a brown bear. Okay. And it makes you very aggressive. When you eat it, you want to tear cushions up in Chesterfield.
Starting point is 00:10:46 You just want to scratch and claim things. So there's chemicals in the meat that just causes you to get aggressive like a mama bear. I can't help it. I can't help it. But what I still don't have the answer to is where did you get the damn bear? I know that you've eaten it. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:05 Where did you get it? This is what would happen. Friends would over, because you have to have a license to eat. Well, not eat. License to eat. You have to have a license to kill. So if someone accidentally killed one, they would distribute it to the rest of the people in the village. It would be just like.
Starting point is 00:11:28 What the hell? It was in the remote tundra. What did he live in an igloo? Some guy wandering down the tree. Bear meat, people. Get your bear meat. Throwing bear ribs on your doormat like a newspaper. Well, what we had to do because it was like minus 50 Celsius,
Starting point is 00:11:49 because the ravens were so big, they would take the garbage right out of the can, so you'd have to put blankets over your garbage. And when people came up to visit, they thought we were keeping the garbage warm. Oh, really? Wow. Oh.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Yes. Spread them, Dano. But, you know, it was a big transition coming to L.A. And to be quite honest, every single time I talk to anybody, it's 100% why I'm here because of you, and I can't thank you enough. You're inspirational.
Starting point is 00:12:19 You're the only person who ever gave me a silver spoon and said, you know what? She's the girl. She doesn't need to audition. You're the only person who, who in my entire life has ever done that and the greatest gift anybody could ever do is empower you really gave me confidence and you empowered me to do it on my own and for that i'm always eternally grateful oh there's your agent wow well uh you know what if i had any help in it
Starting point is 00:12:46 at all that's great but it's all you my dear believe me look at you came down to l.a and you're like hey devon it's really warm here and i'm like good enough i'm coming I know, that was funny. I'm up for getting you. I moved down here, and it wasn't long after that that you showed up, and it was great. It was like, I was so surprised, you know, because it takes guts to make the move and leave Canada and bring everything down here. And, you know, neither of us had that much at the time when we left. And I always admire people that make the jump.
Starting point is 00:13:22 So I'm glad you did it. And here you are. It's really inspirational, and I truly always, always, thank you. Always. Thanks, love. Well, this brings me to the next question here. Well, how can I not answer that? Well, you're going to like this one because it's kind of a beauty question. It's like a girly question.
Starting point is 00:13:42 I'm listening. And here it is. If you could have a choice of moles, okay, like Cindy Crawford or Sarah Jessica Parker or Marilyn Monroe or whoever, whose mole would you want on your face? Oh, my God, I can't. Or to take to a movie. Okay, were you tiptoe? Were you creepers in our bedroom the other night?
Starting point is 00:14:03 I just had like six moles removed. You did? Yeah, my brothers, they would like connect the dots all over my face when I was younger. And then I had a real doughy one, and they had to exercise it. Really? It's not exercise. What's the word? Exercise.
Starting point is 00:14:19 It was a possessed demon, demon, demon, mole. Yeah. Was the mole in the, in the, no. the shape of a six, six, six. Like my phone number. Honey, this mold has been aggravating me. Harlan, I have many scars all over my face because I thought one was changing and you can't, you can't go, you can't have that, especially coming from 20 hours of darkness and coming to Los Angeles where it's super light all the time. You got to be mindful of your face
Starting point is 00:14:50 beauty. Yeah, yeah. Face full of fashion. Well, this is, this is, this is. an appropriate question because now you have like a clean slate your moles have all been removed so if you can now that everything's cleaned up and you wanted like one beauty mole who's who's would it be what what what uh what famous mole would you say give me that one hey you take a rosan ass mole put it right on your nose right there rosan bar yeah one of her ass moles and put it on the tip of your nose it's like it's like it's like a nipple isn't everybody would be like touching your nose and be like Pinocchio. What?
Starting point is 00:15:26 What? A nice long one. Yeah. Oh, wow. A Roseanne Barr assmole right in the middle of your face. It's like giving yourself a dirty Sanchez. We are moving on. That was great.
Starting point is 00:15:42 That was great. If you're a peeping Tom. Yes, thank you. And you are. Licensed. Licensed. And licensed to eat bear meat, too. You've got a lot of license.
Starting point is 00:15:53 If you're a peeping, Tom, who do you watch and what are they doing? Who are you spying on and what are they up to? Tine Daily. Come on. Tine Daily. Wow, I haven't heard that name in a long time. Long time daily. What's she eating? I wonder what's going in her pie hole. Is it a gobb fest? I query you. There's a lot of people. I'm very curious how other people live.
Starting point is 00:16:21 So we actually got a great opportunity. We were invited over to Charo's house. What? Yeah. Charo? She has more energy than all of us combined. She's a very accomplished musician. But her place, I wanted to steal something so badly.
Starting point is 00:16:38 I didn't. I don't have sticky fingers. Yeah. I wash. Well. But, well, sometimes. Man, goo. Hey, everybody.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how
Starting point is 00:17:15 much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So, be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. So you... I would, like, before you asked me that question and before I'd been there,
Starting point is 00:18:11 I would have definitely said her out, just like out of sheer curiosity. Because Some people, they live like their character all the time. They don't look like they don't have sweatpants. They're always in fashion pumps. Yeah, they're always dolled up. Yeah, and a mask full of makeup. But she was like, you walk in, she goes, Ola, just like that.
Starting point is 00:18:31 She's really unbelievable, right, Joel? Okay, but the point here is you've been in her house, so it doesn't count. But I want to know who is it that you've never been in their house? You don't even know them. maybe they're a celebrity and there's you it's nighttime the crickets are chirping the wind is blowing through the trees and you're standing in the gregalberry bushes peering through a window who are you watching and what the heck are they doing while you're watching Dakota fanning wow hello you didn't expect that we have a winner on aisle 5 even though there's no aisles in here and what is fanning up to you know oh she's she's she's You know, I'll tell you don't, this is what you don't know about Dakota Fanning.
Starting point is 00:19:18 She likes crocheting and Petty Point, I believe. Wow, so you're standing in the weeds. You've got crickets running around in your hair, and you're looking through Dakota Fanning's window, and she's in there crocheting like an old lady. And then at halftime, she goes in. It's a show, it's a competition. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Then at halftime, she goes into the pool and does aquabics. It's the craziest thing of her. What are aquabics? Is that like swimming with a Rubik's cube? Swimming in synchronization with herself. Oh, with herself. What? I need a bear meat sandwich.
Starting point is 00:19:57 My energy is starting to dwindle. Aquavix. You know, that's a really good question. You know, it's interesting. Living in Los Angeles, the best lesson I learned was never put anybody on a pedestal because when you meet a lot of them, it's like, well, you have a black heart. There's very, oh. Well, the other thing. thing is too it's so hard to carry those pedestals around they're cumbersome so you know
Starting point is 00:20:19 yeah you throw you gotta keep it under your arm and it's like oh there's uh phara fossa you gotta throw down the pedestal she has to agree to get up on it it's a mess so i'm with you on that i'd be curious hello someone someone did a swamp grass someone soiled the moment someone did an Aquabic. You've sullied your good undies. I smell bear meat. I smell teen spirit. I smell teen bear meat.
Starting point is 00:20:54 All right. No, there's still somebody. I'm still curious. You don't get two? You don't get two? You got a bonus one? Who is it? Who is it?
Starting point is 00:21:04 She's going to the hobby. Help her, Joel. One person, I'm very curious. Oh. Who's that? That actor. Who? He's got one crazy eye.
Starting point is 00:21:15 He's African American. Forrest Whitaker. Oh, yeah. Hello. The crazy eye, I call him, yeah. I want to know what's going on in the briefs. I want to know what he does during the day. I have high curiosity.
Starting point is 00:21:31 It's on an 11. Wow, you're at level orange right here. We're at level Whitaker. We just passed the Amber Alert. The Lion, the Witch, and the Whitaker. just blew in the bear meat window what the hell you know i do like random people like the crying game the guy who is crying at the end i'd be curious the teardrops were dropping on his penis penis do drop do do do do do do um well cool those are good excellent choices yeah is there
Starting point is 00:22:02 somebody that you haven't met yet that you're like oh my gosh i really need to meet i wanted to meet and this is a drag and this is for real i literally live about a mile and a half from where Marlon Brando used to live. And I always wanted to meet Marlon. Like, it drove me nuts that I'm looking out my window right now where we're recording, and I'm looking up into the Hollywood Hills, and I know his house is right there, and I never got to meet it.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Because you don't want to be a weirdo, but I would have loved to have met Marlon, because he's like my favorite actor of all time. Harlan, we were supposed to do a show at his place for his daughter's birthday, two and then he passed away and that would have been my opportunity to meet that would have been a oh my god true honor right yeah the guys amazing for those of you i think i've said this before on the podcast rent street car name desire old black and white movie marlin brando probably in my opinion one of the finest acting performances by a male ever and that movie spoiled me for acting
Starting point is 00:23:05 because once I saw him do that and saw how natural and charismatic and amazing he was, it kind of blew it out for me to watch other male actors after that because he was so good, in my opinion. Let's get to a real question here. Other than Christopher Maloney.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Oh, who's that? SVU. Would you call me? HAL! SVU, too. Who the hell's Christopher Maloney? He was on Oz. He's a really great male actor, right?
Starting point is 00:23:34 And somehow I've never heard. I guess he must be great He's the new Marlon Brando He's on he's on Oz He's so good we're gonna skip movies and put him right into TV On cable by the way We don't want the majority of the people to see how good he is We'll bury him on an obscure cable show about prison raping
Starting point is 00:23:59 Hey you should hear his podcast Oh my God Someone get me a lily pad and put frog eggs on my feet face I don't know what that Then you'd have Tadpole mouth Finally Oh god
Starting point is 00:24:15 He doesn't mean little green Hey what can green do for you What is brown done for you lately bear meat? This is a real one Okay I'm with you I want you to get real
Starting point is 00:24:26 And it's a weird one But I want you to get real Because Devin's a beautiful woman She's She was you've modeled In your lifetime You're very photo Genic. She's very beautiful.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Thank you, Herlin. This is a real question. Have you ever had a situation where a woman has come on to you? You've been out and a woman out of nowhere hit on you. And tell us what happened if that happened.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Joel, I'm sorry you have to hear it this way. I think I actually got, dentally got fisted. Really? What happened? Oh, my God. Dentily fisted. Wow.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Let's hear it. Don't you hang when that happened? Maybe I don't. Maybe I like that. You're sitting down and someone gives the old pat on the leather. Come hither, come sit beside me. I'm curious about you. I'm interested.
Starting point is 00:25:14 I've got a bare claw and a crueller. Maybe that will entice you. So I go sit down. Wait, wait. This was in a donut shop? What did this happen? Well, it was at a place and they were serving donuts. It was a place where cocktails were.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Okay, so was it a party? Yeah, a bar party. At night or during the day? I'm not having it during the day. It was only at night. It was at night. So imagine this, all these donuts and ding-dongs and ho-hoes and snowballs. And a gal goes, she knew who I was.
Starting point is 00:25:47 I thought she was someone who respected my work. Okay. So she gives the old pat-a-roo. I go and sit down. Next thing I know, five-fist friendly, right up my pod bucker. Come on. She goes right there. Thank God I was wearing pants.
Starting point is 00:26:03 She would have never seen her fist. again. Wait, what? She tried to fist you. She tried to fist my... Your podcast. The sheriff's badge. Wait a minute, come on. Seriously.
Starting point is 00:26:18 I sat down and there was knuckle. So she put her fist up against your butt crack when you sat down. She wanted to get into the busy section. In the middle of a party. In the middle of a party. You know what? Wow. I had to sit down a couple of times to make sure.
Starting point is 00:26:35 that this wasn't happening wow what what now what did you say to her how did you react well i you know it's so funny sometimes when i get really worked up yeah my accent will come out yeah and i'll go what's that about and i and i said it like that so i kind of sounded like a moron i was like what are you doing your canadian accent came out it came right out and i tried to play it off but I was like, that was inappropriate touching. That was inappropriate. Because what if I was wearing a bikini? What if my bottoms weren't on?
Starting point is 00:27:10 What were you wearing? I was wearing dress pants. And they were like really, like, fashion pants. Yeah. And it was just, it was really shocking because usually I don't, I don't have that kind of super sexy vibe. People are more like, God, I want to bang some sense into her. And then they start to, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Nice, guys. But then they start talking and they just know that I'm in a, you know, just a gentle pussy cat. Yeah. But it was weird to have such a sexual aggressive, come on. She had like this prowess. She was like right in my personal space area. You know what I mean? Right in your personal space area.
Starting point is 00:27:49 It was like someone who didn't, like that devil may care. It was like, you know that I wasn't her first. I know that for a fact. She had to have practiced on someone else. Wow. I was expecting you to. say like someone gave you a peck on the cheek or winked at you but right to the fist no but sometimes in the show because our shows the shows with joel and i are interactive
Starting point is 00:28:11 sometimes people will accidentally take liberties sometimes jol's hog will be touched a brush up against his hog sometimes my blow holes will be covered wow your blow holes are you You mean your breasts are blow holes? I don't know how they're blow holes, but somehow I accept what you say. Well, because I'm filled with air. They're just like little pockets of air. Oh, okay. So when you squeeze them, they puff.
Starting point is 00:28:41 Yeah. They start fires. It's not like enter at your own risk where you can have your own hazelnut frappuccino milk coming from your own tithies. My own honkers. Oh, that was. was fun right that was fun yeah i hope more people see that are you selling that enter at your own risk enter at my own risk it's it's a little sketch show that me and devon did a few years back and if you
Starting point is 00:29:05 want to see some of the clips you can see me and devon in action uh at harlem williams dot com you can go in the video archives and uh and look at some of that stuff those those sketches were so funny they were fun weren't they oh you were great harland dressed up as a woman yeah i could see that all day i've done A few times, I'm not afraid, but I've never been dressed as a woman and sat on a fist. I'll tell you that right now. Well, that was explosive. That was beyond what I expected. And I think we need to calm down, roll things back.
Starting point is 00:29:38 And I think we should have a musical break here, a musical interlude. Did you bring a ukulele by any chance? Harlan, let me check my snacketerium. No way. Oh, my God. Guess what's in there? Let me pull it out. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:29:53 I don't know. Was that in the blowhole? Well, here's what I want to do because Devin and I back in the day before we really got into this crazy entertainment industry, we actually used to work together in a boring kind of office building doing like, you know, secretarial work and mailroom work and stuff. And one day, Devin and I, we said, you know what, let's screw it. Let's both call in sick and let's get on a plane and go to Atlantic City. and just screw off and then we were there and we met this weird agent guy
Starting point is 00:30:30 named Sal Dupree. Sal Dupree. And this guy knew we had aspirations to get into the world of entertainment. And he said, well, why don't you come down and see me in West Virginia sometime and maybe I'll represent you?
Starting point is 00:30:44 So we knew nothing about the entertainment industry. And we're like, oh my God, an American agent wants to represent us. And we drove all the way down to West Virginia to see this guy it led to nothing but what happened is me and devon had a great road trip and this song by crowded house uh was on our tape player and uh i think the song's called don't say it's over don't dream it's over and uh it kind of became our anthem for that crazy road trip and so uh devon if you can play this on your ukulele man that would be really really
Starting point is 00:31:24 cool and uh you know we can just sing it together and i've never sung to ukulele but uh you know let's you want to give it a try there blowhole billy you want to you want to give it a give it a gander i hope that everybody who sees harlan that's listened to the podcast comes up to you and says harlan has your blowhole can i touch your blowhole hello all right yeah get that eucous out. Let's do it. Here we go. Devin Green on ukulele, and we're singing,
Starting point is 00:32:02 Don't Dream, it's over. We'll see how far we get. You lead it off, and I'll join in. There's freedom without, try to catch the deluge in a paper cup. There's a battle I had. Many battles are lost, but you'll never see the end of the road.
Starting point is 00:32:24 while you're traveling with me. Hey now, hey now, don't dream it's over. Hey now, hey now, when the world comes in, they come, they come to build a wall between us. We know that they won't win. All of you, Harlan. Now I'm towing my car.
Starting point is 00:32:57 There's a hole in the roof. My possessions are causing me suspicions, but there's no proof. In the paper today, tales of war and of waste, but you turn right over to the TV page. Everybody. Hey now, hey now. Don't dream it's so. Hey now, hey now When the world comes in
Starting point is 00:33:30 Take it They come, they come To build a wall between us Holland We know that they won't win This is the slow part Now I'm walking again Do the beat of the drum
Starting point is 00:33:51 And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart all these shadows ahead very clear in the room get to know the feeling of liberation and relief Hey now hey now don't dream it's over And now When the world comes in
Starting point is 00:34:22 They come, they come to build a wall between us. We know that they won't win. We know that they won't win. Awesome. Devy, I mean, your singing was good. Mine was like a maggot crawling across a razor blade, but we tried and owe the memories, right? That's what it was more all about.
Starting point is 00:34:50 And great ukulele playing. baby. When you look back, it's not going to be, oh, I ate, you know, brunch. It's going to be, hey, I had a great time with Harland. I like that. I think that I'll get that on my gravestone. Hey, it wasn't like brunch, but I had a great time with Arland. 1924.
Starting point is 00:35:13 Hey, Corey Hart. Oh, you want to do some Corey Hart? All right, but wait a minute. Before we do it, why don't we, we will go out with Corey Hart. Before we go, I want everyone to catch up with Debbie because she's got a great website, Devongreen.com. She has a cult-like character sketch that she does on her website called Betty Bowers. This thing has 10 million hits on the internet.
Starting point is 00:35:40 You got to check it out, but I'm going to let you tell them where they can go, what they can see, and how they can get there. You hop on the train. First of all, after you're finished eye-banging harlandwilums.com, If you have anything left with your good eye, come on over to Devon Green. Devon, like 7, Deveren, Devon, Devongreen.com. And it would be great to see Joel and I live. We're going to be at Flappers.
Starting point is 00:36:02 What day, Joel? September 17th and 18th. There are super fun shows. It's a new club in the Burbank Media Center called Flappers. And Betty Bowers is a new, Betty Bowers is America's Best Christian. She'd pray for you if she had that kind of time. She has a brand new video coming out. it may be an S-E-X video, Harlan.
Starting point is 00:36:25 Wait, what does that spell S-E? What, oh, my God. It's sexy. Oh, my God. Okay, wow, you've piqued my interest, yeah. And my penis. Oh, you have one of those now? Everyone's getting them.
Starting point is 00:36:38 We live in Hollywood. They're like cell phones. Yeah, you got to have. I carry mine on my belt in a little holder, yeah. Roseanne had one on her ass right beside the mole. So is that it? Is that all, is that, is that the plug? Everyone can find out where you are.
Starting point is 00:36:54 All good. When you go to Devongreen.com, you also end up being at Joelbrandt.com. You see Joel on TV and films all the time. Super great actor. But our live show is, it'd be great. Just come up and say, you heard us on the Harlan Highway, and we'll touch your blowhole.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Oh, nice. Well, it's been great having you here, Devi. Unbelievable. It's so nice to see you and having Joel here, too. her super talented husband who does share with her in the sketch shows that they do. I hope that you're going to say in the marital way. Well, yes. Well, of course.
Starting point is 00:37:31 So check them out. You've got all the info. And why don't we leave the folks with some more of your amazing ukulele. And let's get into some Corey Hart, a little tribute to our Canadian heritage and some sunglasses at night. And also, as we've heard from you, there's fisting at night. but let's keep it, keep it in the clean. Now we'll keep it clean. And here we go.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Devin Green, thank you for coming. Harlan, don't ever change. And here we go. We're singing you out with some Corey Hart. I wear my sunglasses at night so I can, so I can. Watch you weave and breathe your storylines. And I wear my sunglasses at night. Night so I can, so I can keep track of the visions in my eyes.
Starting point is 00:38:28 Well, she's deceiving me. It cuts my security. Has she got control of me? I turn to her and say, Don't switch to the blade of the guy in the shades, oh no. Don't masquerade with the guy in the sheds, oh no. I'm trying to pout. I can't believe it.
Starting point is 00:38:55 You got me made with the guy in the sheds blow hole. Take it. I wear my sunglasses at night so I can't. This has been the Harland Highway with Devon Green. Thank you for visiting with us today. Make sure to visit Devongreen.com. That's Devin in the background, Corey Hartness, and until next time, everybody, chicken chowmaine, baby. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:39:27 You got it made with the guy in shades, oh no. Oh, no. Come here, sit beside me on this leather chair and sing. Pussycat. Thank you. Thank you.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.