The Harland Highway - PODCAST 190

Episode Date: November 12, 2010

New words, publicity stunt, ugly politicians, infomercials, Harry Potter, and yes, Dr. Ascot. Mingle my mangle!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You spin me right round, baby, right round like a podcast, baby, right round, right round, right, right, right, right. Welcome to the 80s. 80s club disco. Now I got to get a little bit closer. Yeah, let's try to forget that freak. And let's get on with the Harland Highway podcast. You are here. I am here. The 80s are behind us. We're well into the 90s. What? What is show today?

We're going to be talking about new words. There's a new word in the dictionary that I think you might find interesting. I'm going to be doing a publicity stunt for the show. I don't know why, but I am. It's the producer's idea. See how this ends up We're going to be talking about politicians And their appearances

Yeah, I think it's about time Someone discussed that We're going to be getting into infomercials Some listener voicemail Harry Potter Is his time coming gone And then I almost got away with not doing this I almost ended the show without visiting with Dr. Ascot

But he catches me right at the end of the show Oh, I feel sick. Here on the Harland Highway. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Hi, I'm Chuckie, want to play? Please go away and leave me alone. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway.

Man, keep it going. Love the show. You're hilarious. My blanche and my blue blanket. Give me my blue blanket. Passing your seat, though. You're riding down the Harlan Highway. It's the Harland Highway.

Have you checked the children? Floating in the summer sky. 99 red balloons go by. Hey everybody, this is Harland Williams on the Harland Highway. And as you can tell by all the noise, the helicopter's going by, and the bird's singing. We are outside today. In fact, I am up on the roof broadcasting from up on the roof here at the Harland Highway. We've decided to do a little fake publicity stunt.

I know this doesn't work, but we thought we'd try it anyways just for a laugh. We've filled about, I don't know, we've got about 150 helium-filled balloons here. You know, we got a helium tank, and we're just filling... fill a couple more there yeah there you go we're filling a few more helium balloons here yeah give me give me like two more yeah the blue one yeah i like the blue ones yeah so we're filling these uh things and what we're going to do is we're going to hook them to the back of my lawn chair i'm sitting down right now right here here we go sitting in this rickety old lawn chair and you know the theory is you get a bunch of party balloons and you fill them with helium, and if you get enough of them, you know, you lift up, you float.

And I'm like, you know what? It ain't going to happen. It's not like it's a hot air balloon. A bunch of party balloons from a kid's party. Are you kidding me? Okay. What am I an idiot? Am I a dumbass? I mean, maybe, maybe this thing would lift, what, an inch or two? If that, I mean, I weigh almost 200 pounds people it's a bunch of party balloons ain't lifting me anywhere so here we go yeah come on guys start start hooking these things to the back of my chair here that's it just hook them right under the lip there yeah come on more more more more more okay they're putting them on now we've got looks like about 20 25 30 of them on here now I'm not doing anything I'm not even moving okay if this station wants to do their little publicity stunt we got people down on the ground with cameras

hi down there hello i don't know what you're waiting for nothing's going to happen idiots hello down there yeah same to you buddy oh he's one idiot okay put on like five more then let's get back inside this is pathetic yeah all right two more there we go one more Wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on. No, don't put another one on. I feel like I'm lifting. Oh, my God, I'm floating here.

Oh, my God, look at this. I'm up. I'm up like about two, two, three feet. No, don't put any more on. No. Don't, why are you tying up? I don't need ten more. What are you doing? No. No.

No, I said don't. Come back. No. No. Somebody get a slink shot. Oh! Oh my God. Hey, I can see the lake over there.

Hey! No! Come back! No! Help! Oh my God! A helicopter! A helicopter!

Look out! Look out! Okay! Check this out, okay, as if infomercials aren't annoying enough, right? You know, the guy's selling the mops and the shamwows and the tile cleaners and the hangers and the closet space stuff and the toenail pickers and the ass scrubbers and all that crap. Take a look at a lot of these infomercials and you'll see the spokespeople, the pitch people, mostly the men are wearing like an earpiece with a little microphone.

Like they look like operators or drive-through window guys, right? And for some reason, they're standing in a kitchen or a living room. They're pitching a slap chop or a, you know, a mop or something ridiculous. And for some reason, they've got this earpiece in and the little microphone that runs around to their mouth, you know, that's attached to the earpiece. I'm like, what the hell is wrong with you, people? Who the hell are you talking to? What are you landing planes?

Will you try to sell me a piece of garbage? I don't know why I find that so extremely annoying, but I do, okay? I mean, it's bad enough. They patronize us. I saw one the other day where it was some infomerate. commercial for like these stickers put these stickers on everything or anything and they'll stick everywhere right so they they'll stick to a wall they'll stick to your ceiling they'll even stick outside right so this guy starts sticking crap all over his house a painting a pot for a flower

a sign and then he has the audacity to go you know he put it's a sign-up on his outer wall outside. He goes, look at this. I'll put a sign up on my wall. And they always get like a British or a New Zealand guy or something because I don't know, for some reason we buy it better if someone with

an accent selling us something. Please buy this wonderful mop. You're going to clean up your kitchen with the shaggy, shaggy dingle mop. So anyways, this guy sticks something to the wall, right? And then he goes,

and watch this, even with this high-powered pressure washer, I can't even knock it off. And he starts up a pressure washer, you know, a low-end pressure washer, the kind you'd buy at Home Depot. They don't really have a lot of kick. Believe me, I have one. And he starts spraying this sign on his wall.

He's spraying it flat on. Like, duh, of course the pressure washer's not going to have an impact. Now let me see you get, behind the sign and spray the pressure watcher where the glue seals and bonds with the wall, okay, dumbass. And why am I getting all riled up

about something so meaning of it? It's just because it's condescending, it's stupid, the fact that they don't think we know that the pressure washer is not going to have an effect. That's like, that's the equivalent of wearing a raincoat, okay?

and going, watch this, my clothes won't get wet. And the guy walks out into the rain with a raincoat. Comes back in, takes the raincoat off and goes, look at that, my clothes are completely dry. Can you believe it? Yeah, you were wearing a raincoat, Jackass. There was a layer of protection between you and the moisture. Well, that's what happens when you directly spray at something hanging flat on a wall

with a cheesy pressure washer. you're not going to have the chances are that the seal didn't even get one one uh one drop of moisture so anyways i just think it's a violation of how they they try to con us and make us feel stupid and they're selling stuff that's probably made with substandard materials to begin with so even though it looks like you're getting a good deal you don't know what this stuff's made with right and then they go and if you if you order right now we'll throw in five extra ones all you have to pay is the shipping and handling well let me give you a little secret here and i don't want to be condescending too because i don't think you're that stupid either but those of you that

might not know most of these things these fluids or these apparatus or this equipment or whatever they're pitching on the late night infomercials this stuff is manufactured in a third world country or wherever with cheap materials probably cost them pennies on the dollar to mass produce so anything you buy probably costs about a nickel to manufacture maybe 10 cents 20 cents who knows so when they say we'll give you five extra ones for free you just pay the shipping and handling well guess what they're mailing they're mailing you something that's only worth 20 cents, and they're charging you $8.99 to mail it. So when they say all you pay for is the shipping and handling, well, you're basically giving

them an extra almost $10. So do the math on that. Okay, let's say a million people across the United States or North America or the world order a Euro blast. ass masher or whatever some stupid contraption a million people paying 899 to get the free one quote unquote you do the math and what i hate is they they are they are playing to people that maybe aren't in the know or haven't figured it out or you know maybe don't come from a background where they they uh they they work in the business world and they get dupy and you're just getting ripped and I'm not discrediting some of these products

I'm sure some of these products you know do what they're supposed to do but that being said how long do they last how durable are they what's the quality what's the lifespan of the product how much did it cost all these things oh look at me i'm being your consumer advocate here on the harland highway

and all because i got annoyed about some guy pressure washing a ridiculous sign stuck to his wall well that'll teach you to stick signs to your wall with ridiculous products because uh you know it got to be in my bonnet now i've exposed you and uh if you want to hear the rest of this conversation or this diatribe or whatever it is I'm doing, just send me $8.95 shipping and handling and I'll get the rest of it to you

just as soon as I get my fingers unglued. Hello! Oh my God, that is ginormous. Do you ever heard that word, people, ginormous? I mean, I know I've heard it. On special occasions, hello. But have you ever heard the word ginormus? Apparently now it's been inducted into our dictionary.

Gynormus is now a dictionary listed word. I don't know. Do we need that? Isn't it more of a slang? I mean, what's next? Rad. and under T, that's hot. Yeah, Paris Hilton gets her own collection of words.

That's hot. Let's see, I'm looking for a word that means something that's good, has a high temperature. Let me look under here. Oh, that's hot. That's ginormously hot. I don't know, man. ginormous how often to use that word what when you're maybe talking about dinosaurs whales and bill gates bank account i don't think that word ever comes up does it

oh well somehow it's now part of our vocabulary people so enjoy your ginormousness i know i enjoy mine Just keep on driving down the ginormous Harland Highway with me, Harland Williams, aka Gynormus. And speaking of Gynormous, I think I've made a ginormous discovery. Um, uh,

I don't know if it's, uh, the most scientific discovery. But nonetheless, I'm going to, uh, quantify it as a discovery. Okay. Um, I think I figured out one of the reasons, people gravitate or like or find appealing Sarah Palin. And then there's this other candidate out there, I believe her names Nora O'Donnell or something like that. What they have in common is they both are, as far as females go, kind of attractive.

Now, you might not find Sarah Palin attractive because you find her ugly because of her politics and her stance and her opinions and point of view. So sometimes, you know, that can take the edge off of someone's looks when you disagree with them on their fundamentals, on their politics, on their religious viewpoints, etc. But take all that crap out of the equation. And according to the standards society creates, Sarah Palin is a thin, uh well proportioned um you know good looking borderline beautiful borderline hot woman she's got the uh the sexy secretary look going on she's got the the uh thin body she wears a fantastic clothes that accent the body uh she's got the squared jaw the big big uh life-filled eyes the big lips the straight

teeth you know the the the the bangs she's uh she's good looking is what i'm saying and and in fact i'm going to go one step further she's dropped dead gorgeous stunning 12 out of 10 babe hottest creature on the planet next to whatever else is perched in the rafters up at the white house and a capital hill so what are what i'm where I'm learning to talk here, where I'm going with this is is that I think part of her popularity could stem from the physical sense.

And when I say that, I mean look at the other politicians running the country. Look at the other politicians in the White House. It's primarily men. There are some women women who let's just say have more of a homely look some women that have more of a typical look a normal look

I wouldn't say that many of the women in politics have the sex appeal factor the men definitely I mean some of the creatures who have been elected to office I mean some of those ancient senators they look like they're made out of wax and they're melting

some of them look like Ben Gris rim from the Fantastic Four, the thing. I mean, some of them have moles, the size of our solar system. Some of them have freckles and some of them have patchy skin flakes. They look like they crawled out of a Lord of the Rings orgy somewhere. Some of them have hair that goes every which way but loose. I mean, God. It's like that scene from Star Wars.

and Star Wars. It's like walking, you walk into the white, I was like, it's like a collection of freaks and monsters and ghouls. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what, you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus freest. shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus, 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast.

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and 100% free shipping, Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. I mean, some of them are hunched over. Some of them talk funny to come from the deep shout. And Madam Spaker, can you please clarify what the hell I'm saying? You know, it's just a collection. It looks like Halloween night up there at the Congress and the White House.

House and Capitol Hill, and you got some overweight people, you got some chubbies, you got people that just don't dress well. I mean, let's face it, it's possible that Sarah Palin could be rising to fame and to success just because she looks good, right? People are just sick and tired of seeing all these dead beats in the White House, And here comes a young, vivacious, well-spoken woman who you may or may not agree with. That's not what this conversation's about. It's just about you got to admit, if you hold her up next to the other freaks in that place,

she probably pops as the best-looking thing in there. And so maybe the American public is just tired of looking at the news and seeing guys like Harry Reid and, uh, you know, Newt Gingrich and, uh, Arlen Spector and all these horrible, creepy old men. And they're like, enough, this is America. We want, we want pretty. We want some shine on our, on our car. Give us the turtle whack. Somebody do something.

What? Sarah Palin, okay. I can at least picture having a fantasy with her. I can imagine it. She's the type of politician I would want to have accidentally drop her pen And bend over and pick it up in front of me There, I said it

I do not want Bernie Frank Or, you know, any of the other freaks Doing anything like that, you know? So I feel like the tide's turning a bit And yeah, it's superficial, but hey, it's America Isn't almost everything superficial here in good old America? we love the looks man i mean the last good looking person i think we had in the white house was john f kennedy and that was a dude but if you can you can pull up a picture of a hot mama

holding a seat somewhere i i think there's a couple i've seen a couple that are borderline but they're they're kind of more like getting a little older but sarah still has that she's still kind of that in-between like kind of still got some youth but still has the cougar thing going she could be a cheerleader or a nurse or uh you know where what am i going with this basically i'm hot for sarah palin okay but anyways i think that might be part of the mystery solved and uh personally you know i know a lot of people don't like sarah palin but i actually i actually like or I find a refreshing. And don't be one of those people.

It's like, oh, God, I'm never listening to the podcast again. He said the P word. Hey, screw you. I'm entitled to my opinions just like you are. You might like someone I don't like. Does that mean I don't like you? No. No, it doesn't know.

So, you know, don't be judgmental. Just be mental. That's why you're here listening, right? So there you go. that might be part of the reason to why people who may not be in the know politically but just are tired of the monster mash appearing on the evening news every night and they're like, you know what, fine, just Sarah Palin. She looks good. I can handle it. When I'm eating dinner, I'm talking on the phone. I have the news on mute. There's a pretty lady. Is she an anchor person?

Is she the president? Is she doing an infomercial for her hair product? It doesn't matter. At least I'm not looking at the creature from the Black Lagoon. Now, if only you can see what I look like. You can't because this is just audio. I'm beautiful. Trust me, I'm beautiful.

Oh, what's that? Skinflake. Hey, Harlan, this is a first-time caller. My friends would call me Spaceman. Anyway, dude, the name's Jeff. Love the show. And ever since I found it every night and every day, it's been a new chuckle for me.

Appreciate all that you do, and I hope everything's rocking for you, like you make it for all of us. And, uh, like you say, my friend, Chick-Chi-Cow, Maine, baby. All right, all you nerds out there. Get your glasses on and your wizard robes and your slippers and your magic wands. Yeah, that's right.

The new Harry Potter movie came out on the weekend. I don't know. Is it just me or is that kid getting too old to be going to wizard school? I mean, the guy looks like a 35-year-old banker from Merrill Lynch. He doesn't look like a little fresh-faced boy who fantasizes about flying around on brooms and making things float in mid-air.

I'm sorry, it's just... Harry Potter is no longer like a little kid. He looks like a guy who should be giving seminars on the weekend at hotel banquet rooms. And if you take... your maximum profit and put it into real estate, you will end up with a profit margin of 75% over a three-year maximum. And, oh, excuse me, would the troll in the back please sit down or I'm

going to cast a spell on you. Thank you. Anyhow, your mortgage will climb to 73%. You know what I mean? I mean, the guy looks too old. This is an adult wizard school. And I think the Those are called sex clubs, aren't they? Swingers clubs. I don't know, Harry. I think it's time to put down the wand and pick up a hockey stick. Maybe start going out to some plays. Maybe catch a movie, buddy.

Go on a date. I mean, how long can you crawl around through secret caves and tunnels and sneak through the castle and find monsters chain to walls and stuff? You're 45, dude All right, get a workbench and build some birdhouses or something Harry Potter I'll take Harry Callahan any day, huh? You know him, Clint Eastwood, dirty Harry

I'd like to see him show up in a Harry Potter movie Excuse me, sir, may I put a spell on you? Go ahead, make my day That's a movie I want to see Dirty Harry Potter Right there, man Oh, twisted. Twisted as always, but I'm still enchanting you

Here on the Harland Highway. Oh, wait a second, no, hold on. I think I said the new Harry Potter movie came out. What I meant to say is the new Harry Potter movie came out. Potter trailer came out. That's what I meant. I'm getting way ahead of myself. Yeah, I was at the movies and the trailer came up.

And at first I didn't really know it was friggin' Harry Potter. Because, I mean, the guy has facial hair. He's all chiseled. He looks like a man, like I said. And the young girl, his sidekick is actually blossoming into a beautiful woman. I mean, I don't know how old she is now, but she's right in line to be the next Julia Roberts. I mean, she's downright hot.

She's a looker, that one. She's going to be a man killer when she gets a little older. And then there's the red-headed freak. You know, remember the cute little freckley, pudgy kid that was Harry's other buddy? You've got to get a look of this guy now, man. Check out him in the trailer. God. I mean, he looks like he's been date raped in a trailer park for four months. This guy's face is all bags under the eyes.

I mean, this guy's hairs messed around like he's been doing crystal meth and a dumpster behind Home Depot, this guy. He's just, he's got a gut, he's heavy, he's fat. He looks like he looks like he's one bottle of Canadian club whiskey away from being home. homeless for the rest of his life. I mean, enough with the Harry Potter movies, man. It's like they're not cartoons. They can't stay young forever.

They're real people. I mean, they've recast Batman a million times, okay? They're recasting Spider-Man. They're always recasting these people. They've recast the Hulk three times. Can't they find another peach-faced kid with round glasses? to get his Harry Potter on? And by the way, what a horrible name, man.

Isn't Harry Potter just, you know, one degree away from being the full Monty? Hello, love, how would you like the full Monty? Not now, please. I'm busy with a Harry Potter. Oh, how about a Harry Potter then, love? Not now, I'm having a full Monty. I mean, what a disgusting name. Hey, man, you got a Harry Potter or a Bald Potter?

Oh, I got a Harry Potter, all right, man. It's just gross. A Harry Potter. Ew. So anyways, you know, I'm just saying, let's get back to putting kids into the Harry Potter movie. Okay? I buy a kid going to Jeannie School and being a wizard, but like I said, some guy who looks like he should be running a consulting firm or an ad agency or, you know, running a Gap store and Times Square just ain't cutting it as Harry Potter. What's that? Harry Potter?

I was referring to the character. Oh, I'll take your little character. Is he really a Harry Potter? Oh, God. Well, speaking of, oh, God, and Harry Potter's and things like that, Christmas is coming. I don't know how that seguade at all. It actually didn't, so I'm an idiot. But Christmas is coming, and I want you to start thinking about gifts,

and since I provide laughter, hopefully, to you people and your friends, I want you to check out the Harland Williams store at Harlan Williams. dot com. It's full of movies, CDs, DVDs, T-shirts, books, unique novelty items, one-of-a-kind, crazy, freaky sculptures and drawings and paintings and all kinds of stuff that you won't find in any store. So if you're doing your Christmas shopping, it might be a great place to shop. We'll wrap it up, send it out to you, and you're ready to go. One of the great Offerings is my new movie, my indie movie that I wrote and directed and produced called Fudgy Wudgy Fudge Face, ridiculous comedy. There's also a website for the film, FudgeFilm.com. You can go on there and snoop around, find out about the movie.

So, yeah, just be sure to think about the Harlandwilliams.com store to get your stuff. also the Harlandhighway.com website and if you're looking to get your laugh on oh boy yeah next week next weekend November 19th and 20th and 21st

I will be at the Columbus Ohio Funny Bone you can can go to their website and get tickets or go to my website Harlem Williams.com all the information there on the stand-up schedule. It's going to be great shows.

I usually sell out pretty fast in Columbus, Ohio, at the Funny Bone. So get your tickets as soon as you can, so you're not disappointed. And then lastly, don't forget, it's you know whose birthday coming up this weekend, Sunday, November the 14th. I'm only going to be 16 years old. Most people don't want to tell their age, but hey, I'm going to be 16. Yeah, whoopee down. So if you want to phone, maybe leave a message or a greeting or tell me to go get stuffed, whatever, the answering machine is 323, 215, 1486.

And, you know, I don't like getting old. I know you don't like getting old, but it happens to all of us. So that's our show for today. And Holland. Oh, what? Oh, what are you doing here? Arland, it's Friday, you can't forget your therapy session, Arland. Yeah, well, I... Oh, God, I almost got away with this.

Holland. I don't want to talk about anything, As Scott. It's my birthday coming up. I'm getting older. I just... I'm depressed about it. I don't want to get old. Holland, that's why you need me here. You should never try to finish a show. on Friday without your therapy session, Arland. Oh, do we really have to do this?

Oh, I was so close to ending the podcast. Oh, Alan, never again, or you will get a pink slip, Arland. Oh, God, okay, what do we want to do today? Arland, I think we should discuss your birthday and the prospect of getting old, Arland. Oh, God, you make me old. Alland. All right, let's get it over with Ascot.

Excellent, Alland. Here we go. Come on. Let's get it over with. God, I can't believe you're making me do this for my birthday. Allend, you must embrace getting old. I don't need to embrace getting old. What does old do for me?

Arland, when you deny getting old, you deny the essence of yourself, Arland. Well, what do you want me to do about it? It's not like I can stop the clock, Ascot. Arland. Well, I can't. Arland, I want you to embrace your birthday. Embrace getting old, Arland. Yeah, and how am I supposed to do that? Holland, I brought you some birthday presents.

What? I brought you some nice birthday presents, Arland. What, you did? Yes, Arland. By receiving presents, it helps you accept getting old a little more gracefully. Well, you know what? That's kind of nice, I guess. I didn't expect this. Of course not, Arland. Why don't you open the first present? Well, really? Look at the wrapping you did here.

I wrapped it myself, Holland. Wow, well, okay, this is a bit of a pleasant surprise. Open it, Holland. Okay, let's get this open here. This is, wow, this is kind of exciting. Yes, Holland, open the present. I'm opening it. Open it faster, Holland.

I'm opening it. Holland faster. Holland. Okay. Oh, what's it? What is this? Holland, happy birthday. What is this?

Arland, it's your birthday present to help you accept getting old. Are you kidding me? A box of adult diapers? Arland, put them on. What do you mean? What do you mean, put one on? Holland, you've got to accept getting old. This is part of your therapy.

Are you telling me, you bought me some adult diapers so I can embrace the idea of getting old? Exactly, Arlen. Now put one on. No, I'm not putting on an adult diaper. Arlen, stop trying to re-wrap the present. No, I'm putting the wrapper back on. This is pathetic. Arland, you will get a pink slip. Now put on your birthday present. no way you can't be sitting put it on alland oh my god this is retort put it on okay i'm putting it on idiot can't believe it take your clothes off i'm taking them off do you have to watch sorry allan

this is unreal he got me in an adult diaper now here's your next present all Wait a minute. There's another one? Yes, Holland. Oh no, no, no, no. What is this? Open it, Arland. I'm standing here in a room wearing an adult diaper. You're handing me presents telling me to embrace myself getting old. Now you're learning, Arland. Isn't that lovely?

Oh, this is ripe. Holland don't say ripe. Well, it is. It's just ripe. Alland, open your next present. Okay, stop being so pushy. It's my birthday. What is it, Arland? The hell is this? Holland.

What is it? A bottle of prune juice? Arland, it'll help you go crappy in your nappy. What? Holland, you have to start learning about getting old, and many old people go crappy in their nappy. What are you to... Are you suggesting that I crap my diaper? Holland, you are getting old.

Get out of here! Holland drink the prune juice. No, I'm not drinking the prune juice. Holland, you will be fired, and that's no way to spend your birthday. Oh, this is ripe. Drink, Holland. All right. Drink more, Allent.

There, how does that feel, Holland? I feel a little sick. Are you kidding me? This isn't going to work. I'm not crapping my nappy, you askot. Holland. I'm not going to do it. No matter what you try. Holland, I have one more present that might help you. crap your nappy are you out of your mind take it holland the hell is this open it holland your final

present oh god can we get this over with open your final present and maybe it will help you crap your nappy stop saying crap my nappy the hell is this it's a picture of me alland i know it's a picture of you What the hell? You look like a retard. Holland. Well, look at you. Just sitting here. Where'd you get this done at Sears? Holland, that is a wonderful portrait of your therapist, Dr. Ascot. Yeah, it's creepy. You look like a serial killer.

Holland. Where'd you get that suit? Holland. You know what? Oh, the hell is that. Are you getting ready to grab your nappy, Arland? Yeah, after seeing your... pitcher i think i am oh my god all and happy birthday oh my god what's one of those noises my stomach

the prune juices kicking in allan oh my god happy birthday to you oh my god happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Holland. Happy crappy, nappy to you. Get out! Oh, get out. Crappy, naughty. good god what a dillweed oh why do i hate fridays most people are like tg i f it's friday i'm like good lord someone help me uh anyways let me i got to get out of here i got to clean up if you know

what i mean um so there you go that's our podcast for today have a great weekend everybody for some reason. Happy birthday to you, too. When I come back next week, I'll be a little bit older, hopefully a little bit wiser. And maybe that translates into a much better podcast where you're not dealing with issues. The grown man in an adult diaper crapping his nappy. Get out. So there you go. Thanks for joining in.

great having you along folks and until next time chicken chow Maine baby my friends call me space man