The Harland Highway - PODCAST 227 - JUSTIN SCHLEGEL DROPS IN

Episode Date: February 7, 2011

My hilarious comedian buddy Justin Schlegel drops by for another fun filled romp down the Highway! Burnt toast hairs! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's time. It's time for the podcast. I'm very excited. Today's podcast is going to be a treat. An old friend is here, a very funny gentleman. I love doing the podcast with this wild cat. He's full of imagination and humor and intelligence and all those good things that make for. a real fun time. We certainly are going to have fun today. I can feel it in my bones. I won't tell you who it is just yet, but stick around because it's all coming up.

My mystery guest, right here on the Harland Highway. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Hi, I'm Jackie. Want to play? Please go away and leave me alone. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. Man, keep it going.

Love the show. You're hilarious. My blanche and my blue blanket. You're riding down the Harlan Highway. It's the Harland Highway. Have you checked the children? Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Harlan Highway once again.

And what a treat. What a fun Chinese roasted treat this is going to be. One of my best buddies, one of my favorite guests on the Harlan Highway is my comedian friend, Justin Schlegel. Schlegel. One more time. Schlegel. That's the one.

You know what I remembered bagel? Exactly. Because you told me once you said, it rhymes with bagel. Schlegel bagel, easiest way to remember. Bagel. that's it okay good so at least i figured it out myself you got it usually three times usually you like have to tell me but i figured it out um so here he is um justin's got some exciting news he he's a east coast guy he's uh he's out of a baltimore he does a radio show up there what's the name of your

show because you're still doing it i still do it you can listen at 98 online dot com it's called the justin schlegel fiasco. It's from 7 to Midnight Monday through Friday. We play a lot of hard rock. We've got a double shot of Cedar and Shineddown coming up right around the corner. The top 4-4 is going to be hitting you right after traffic. That type of stuff. Wait, 7 to 4.m.

7 to midnight. East Coast time. East Coast time. 4-9 Pacific. 4-9 Pacific. So check him out and where is going is Justin just moved from the East Coast. Now he's on the West Coast. He's just splashed down in L.A. He's about

to take on the town it's awesome to have him here and he's still able to do his radio show from Los Angeles and so glad to have you buddy welcome it's nice to be welcome to your little slice of God's Green crust here

well have you met any celebrities yet have you bumped into Bob Hope have you bumped into uh J.D. Salinger have you bumped into Carol no I ran into a Winona Judd in a handicapped stall

in a men's room Arby's and it was awkward. I went in to wash my hands after enjoying a classic Big Montana. Poor thing was in there eating fries straight of a paper bag. Weird thing. They were Wendy's fries. In Arbys. She's in denial. They're hand cut now.

It's sea salt that they use. Dave Thomas rest in peace, my friend. And yeah, she was rolling around on the floor. I buttered it up. Later on her and I went and played putt, but and now her FB friends. That's Facebook for all you acronym fans out there. Wait, wait, wait, screech, hold on. You went, you went into an Arbys.

Arbys. And you went into the can and Winona Ryder was in there? No, no, no, no, Winona Judd. Renona Judd was in there, eating curly fries from Wendy's in an Arby's. Yeah, that was the creepy. Wow. Yeah. It's like doing donuts in a Honda and a Nissan dealership parking lot saying,

F the world, I carve my own path. That is crazy. That's like Helen Keller doing, you know. Spoken work. heard. Yeah, you're twirling around at a crop circle festival. God, that's amazing. The real, the first real celebrity I met, I was sent on an audition by my management for, I was like a Nickelodeon TV show. I was going to be like some wacky doctor on a show called Labrats. And as I sat down to my left, none other than 90210 fame, Jason Priestley. Come on.

Directly to my left, reading for the same exact role. And I hit Control Alt delete on the whole night. said this isn't going to fly for me, you take care. He's in a three-piece suit, smelled great, cinnamon eyes, nice twizzler lips. I had a Transformers tube top and some WWF Randy Orton flip-flops on, eating beans out of a can with a stick I found. I cried that night. Oh, my God, Priestley? Priestley was reading for the same role that I was,

so I'm like, just going to call it a day on this and roll credits. I have no chance. No, no, that's what's fun about Hollywood, man. It's like when I first moved to Hollywood, That's what blows your mind. It's like, you go to an audition and you think, oh, you know, I guess I'm going in for this audition. And, you know, it's probably like a low-end thing. And I'll be there with a bunch of unknowns.

And then you walk into the waiting room and you're like, la-da-da. Is that Steve Bouchamee? Wait a minute. Like you start seeing all these faces that are like legitimate stars and you're like, what am I doing in this swimming pool? Exactly. You feel like a guppy and a big kitty pool filled with hammerhead sharp. sharks with laser faces, and you know, they're going to take one quick peek at Bouchemie and be like, you're getting the Charleston Chew commercial Johnny Jackwhite from out east and his

flip-flop, send him back to his Hyundai back to his two cats. See, here's where you're wrong. Here's where it's exciting. Hollywood, if nothing else, they always love the fresh and the new. So, you know, when you go in and see all those guys, I hate to say it because I guess, you know, I might be one of those guys now, but I've been around for like 20 years. It's like sometimes when you're the new fresh kid, you have a better chance. And way cheaper.

And way cheaper. They can pay me in ham sandwiches and the occasional high five. Those guys are pulling down lots of coins. So you've got to think you're just as you're just as if not more eager than they are. All right. Most likely dedicated to be there 30 minutes ahead of time when you're supposed to be. You're going to dedicate your next week to that Charleston Chew commercial and then get paid a tenth of what They were going to. So it's nothing but it's maximum delivery, minimum expenditure for them.

Wait a minute. Roll it back. What the hell is Charleston Chew? Have you never had a Charleston Chew friend? That sounds like you're dancing and suddenly you're eating jerky. What is a Charleston chew? Imagine if you could take a nice, sweet, momentary suckle upon Jesus's lower lip. It is a chocolate-taffy-esque candy bar that has been around for the better part of his century. Dare I say, before World War I, if you have yourself a laptop or any sort of IMac in front of you, please search and enjoy Charleston Chu. Ask for them by name at your local five and dime. It sounds like Charlton Heston was in Nome or Saigon, had a fling with like some questionable woman at a bar.

They had a baby, a war baby. Charlton Heston screwed off. And later on, the kid came to America. He goes, hello, dad. I'm Tolston Chew. Get your damn hands off my candy bar. You can have this knickers from my hand when you pry it when I'm cold and dead or something. Well, speaking of food, I got some great questions here for you.

Are we doing another quiz? Well, we're going to do our animal quiz because we're going to do that later. Done. But we're going to get to that because you're always really good at that. But let's start with this isn't quiz, but this is just more. Curious, and I know you have a vast library of knowledge up there, I want to talk about cakes. These aren't quiz questions. It's just curiosity, who the hell invented the upside-down cake, sir?

Dracula. Oh, easy. Upside down, hanging from the rafters with his eagle-talent toes, swinging from one of the boards, decided to make himself a cake one day. Turns out, just because of the position that he was in to all of us mortals, not Nosfer. Ratu, that's another name for Los Vampier. It looks like the thing was upside down. To him, old drak, it looked right side up.

Everyone else upside down. That's amazing. That makes total sense. You could Wikipedia that right now, and you will not find that answer because they took it down, but at one time you could. That is, that makes totals, of course. Someone hanging upside down would, of course,

invent the upside down cake. I just sounded like Batman there, too. Of course. Someone standing upside down. Now I'm doing like, Kirk. What? I must bake a cake upside down. That's a very logical decision, Mr. Kirk.

All right, let's move on. Who invented the sponge cake? I don't know who, but who? Most likely a janitor. You see, he's got a very small lunchbox. So he can only fit so much lunch. tools and confectionary in there so he's like if I only had a dessert with which to eat and then to sup up the excess liquid off of the women's room floor only then would my

life truly be complete I will dedicate my life to creating this sponge cake I shall eat I shall soak I shall eat I shall soak I shall rinse and repeat brilliant it's like why not eat and have a cleaning tool at the same time what there's other things in life that are mixtures like that? What would be a parallel to that? The mop carrot. The mop carrot. Wait. It's a fresh vegetable and you can go ahead and spread

down a little little liceol on the floor. You ever heard of that? Oh my God. The mop carrot. Boxing bacon? Huh? Globs made out of lean pork and your opponent seems to be hungry but wants to have some fisticuffs. Hey, let me throw a right hook directly at your face. Oh, take a bite before I go ahead and pull this jab

back. Now you've been punched in the face. I'm succeeding in this little combat ballot. but you're full on the way down to the canvas. I love it, and it saves the boxer from putting that Vaseline on their eyebrows. Exactly. They just got the bacon grease for that kind of frictionless. The little glop a pig lard over top of their head vagina that since opened up from 47 repeated pachiales to the skull. Have you ever seen those guys?

Like, they just put giant wads. Like, honestly, they put, like, huge, like, they just lubed, like, the shock absorber on a 740. Just giant wads of diesel grease over their eyebrows. It's disgusting, yeah. I mean, I watch a lot of that MMA mixed martial art stuff, and those guys regularly will split brows open, and you will see raw skull popping through. We'll take a handful of mallow whip

and just spread it right across the old thought dome, and it lasts for like a good nine seconds into the round, and then they take one shot. Boom. That thing flops open, and there you go. But what I don't get is that they could just fill it in, and then kind of clean it off so the crack is filled,

but instead they leave this giant dollop like somebody from Baskin Robbins had an ice cream scooper and plopped it on their head and it looks like like peanut butter or something. It's nasty, it's effective, but it only lasts very temporarily. Okay, you don't have to snap at me. Okay, here's our last cake question,

and I'm just curious. Again, this is not a quiz, Justin. Just an inquiry. Is their angel food cake in heaven? Hell yes. That's all I needed to hear. I got a device here. You're going to like this.

Have you seen these dog callers that if you put them on a dog and they run or they barked, they get a shock? I have seen those. I actually bought one of those as a garter for my lady friend. In an event that BLT doesn't come within seven, eight minutes of my requesting, and I give a little bit of a zap, and she comes doing a little Charleston two-step over towards me. with a real, brilliant, real nice BLT and or club sandwich, depending on what daddy's pal feels like that day. No, when you said BLT, I thought that was a sex thing. Oh, like, you know, what would a BLT be in bed?

Blow lick. What? Blow lick tongue. Something. Bob Larry Turnip. I didn't get that you were like, you were getting your girl to bring you a sandwich. No, actual food. No.

Okay. I thought you put it on her leg like a guard, like a sexy garter. and whenever you wanted a quote, BLT, Beep! Oh, yeah, that's the stuff. I don't want to blow on this. Shut up. A couple of more zaps,

and that desol battery is going to go dead, so get polishing, whore. Oh, man, I shouldn't have said anything. Well, anyways, this is going to be fun. I got two, and I rejigged the things myself, and I want to put one on you, and I'm going to put one on. Is that it right there?

This is it here. Here, grab this one and put it on, and I'm just putting mine on here. And what happens is when I press the button, we both talk in Chinese. Okay, so I just buckle it like so. So I'll pick a topic. Why don't we talk about collecting butterflies? There we go. And is yours on? It's on.

Is yours snug? Are you good? Give it a little wiggle. Give it a little. Oh, there it is. It popped in the snap. Okay, great. All right.

Well, here we go. We're going to talk about butterflies. I'm going to press the button. And here I go. Oh, that's all, d'all, dung-a-old. Deng-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hh. Wow. Wow. That's the thing is that those nets aren't cheap, so.

They're not. And putting them in those little collector boxes, it's, that's an art. You don't have to get a new one just as long as you can get one that might be hand-me-down or second-hand. You'll save money. It'll look nice. But don't dive right back into it with fresh equipment. Great. I'm glad we talked about that.

That's probably going to be a big help to our listeners. Let's move on. Now, that was really, hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex.

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Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Informative and have you ever had your tubes tied? No. I have had tubes in my ears as a child. What, fallopian tube? I had fallopian tubes in my ears because all the kids on the playground

kept stealing my butterfinger and getting me pregnant in the old brain pipes. So mom was like, hey, no more skull babies. We're going to go ahead and tie off These little octopie in there. Next thing you know, Daddy's rolling solo. I don't have to have a little brother she didn't plan on it anymore. So, yeah, if you, as much dessert as you're going to shove in me later,

feel free to try and get up in this, you're not going to make a baby in the old brain batter. Dude, I appreciate everything you just said, but it was so convoluted. You might as well have been talking Chinese. Don't know. Sung down, Hong Kong. Oh, down how wild. The playground. I tell you what, he smelled horrible.

This is something we usually do every show, and this is nice. We do this, and it always works out real well. We usually do a segment where we throw on our Spanish accents. Oh, I love it. And I thought today you and I could be chefs working together, and we've been asked to prepare a dinner for the presidential family. Oh, like they're all sitting in the, the blue room, which is the dining room

of the White House, and Jorge and Manuel are going to go ahead and prepare. We're back in the White House kitchen. The first supper. We're making a supper, and we're just talking about it, and maybe we've made it, and we take it out, and we're

presenting it to the president and the first lady and the two little boys, and what? Girls. Girls. Pretty little girls. Are they girls? Obama? Yeah. I, from last I checked. They do have long hair.

Okay, so here's me and you, the Spanish chefs. Presenting the dishes or preparing them? We are preparing them and then we present them. First, I want to start with a nice glazed duck. Look at how much glaze you've put on the duck. Just a rich glaze. I did not use orange glaze.

I scraped the glaze of some crispy cream donuts and used that glaze. on a duck. Oh, and it is not the traditional duck that you have glazed. You have taken a small man and you have told him to duck, and you have glazed this man as he is hunched over. And what I do is I tie

his little legs together. So small. And I leave his shoes on, his little tap dancing shoes. Tiny size four. And they are black and they shimmer with the glaze. Black is light, like glitter. And as I cook him at 450 degrees Fahrenheit

He starts to smell So good Like a little glazed baby tap dancer Like a little tiny Hobbit dancing with the stars 450 degrees pre-heated You can hear him cries All of the crust forms on his outer shell

Oh, tell me about your fabulous vegetable dish Oh, I am making a vegetable Madly their likes of which the whir has never seen before You have your standards, your corn cubes, your, your, your, your broccoli nuggets, you are, what is this here, your celery, not Manuel. What are you making, Manuel? Tell me what you are making, Manuel. I will show you what I am making. What is it? I have heikama.

Heikama. Heikama. My feet turn in sideways like crab legs, just looking upon your heikama. My hikama has been marinated in your small habit dancer's tears for 24 hours to add the salty flare. And you will notice alongside of the hikama cauliflower. Oh, I love your cauliflower with the flam sauce on all over it. I bring the sauce from a genuine and true place. I do not get it out of the can or I do not reheat or I do not head water.

I simply get a pneumonia and hack up upon the cauliflower. Oh, it's so much like a cheese sauce, but so much softer and subtle. Oh, you need the velvita that I've scraped off both your feet. I grabbed the cheese from betwixt your inner tomb toes, and the stench of the limburger comes across your nostrils like a maiden's hair. Look at the hand-picked mushrooms. I pulled out of the loaf of dog dirt from the Frosgarden. Look at those.

Mushrooms growing from the presidential dog's manure. Oh, he took a first dump on the first lawn. And we make a nice mushroom sauce for the night. Now, what type of desserts? We understand the Obama's have the sweet tooth. Oh, a caramel glazed. fungus-dipped Chihuahua

Look at you thinking outside of the box I was merely going to shove a clipped toenail into the tip of a sneakers bar and fart on the opposite end but you, sir, are a Michelangelo of the desserts.

Hold on, Manuel. I hear the bells chiming. It sounds like they are dinging their glass. We must get out there and take the food to them. to them the gastromamic masterpieces we have made. Before we go, I congratulate

you on your fine feast, your banquet. And I in turn congratulate you on a symphony of food items that you shall serve the most powerful family in the world. Off we go.

Thank you. Thank you. And we'll do some more next time. Oh, Christ, I got ketchup on my corduroys. Oh, my God. God, I feel cream corn running down my inner thigh. I know. I put it there.

Wow. Yeah. Wow, I'm hungry. I have an erection. I am fully erect. Wow. The pre. I thought of your docker corn.

Wow. That first family is going to eat well, man. And hallucinate from dog shit shrooms. Mrs. Brock Obama, I'm addressing the nation. currently the White House walls are bleeding and I believe I have spiders crawling over my faces so I will now launch all inter-continental ballistic missiles

and I will have sex with a cumquot. I am high as shit. Good night and God bless. Gentlemen, the Eagles are flying. That's from the Dead Zone. I threw that in at the end. Christopher Walken. Christopher Walken, Charlie Sheen.

Gentlemen, the Eagles are flying. Grabs the child at the end he uses a human shield. Oh, that's what we should have been doing in Afghanistan. All right, we have one more question. Please. Before we get to the world famous animal quiz. Hard levels.

We're coming down to the end of this incredible podcast. I'm so sad, but the animal quiz is always great. Let's get to this last question before the animal quiz. Should people who do yoga be allowed to look up their own asses for medical reasons? Yes, they should. Yes. For polyps? For polyps, for the occasional rift or tear back there,

for butthole barnacles, okay, for goads. Good. Little chunk, the hemrods, they have them. Hemrods, good, because I stand with you on that. Thank you for backing me up. It's all we need to hear. Are you ready? Let's go to the Animal Quiz.

It's time for the Harlan Highway Animal Quiz. All right, here we go. Are you ready for question one? And what we do, let me just remind the listeners here. What we do is Justin has to try and figure out the animal that I am describing. I give them a series of clues, little snippets, little tidbits, little teasers. And we'll see if you can guess what the animal is. Now, some of the previous quizzes have had a theme.

Some have been avian, some have been mammal. Is there one to this one? This one, I'm kind of all over the place. All right. So hopefully the clues will help you out. A little pot-per-re. Let's do it. So here we go.

What's that? I said, push the throttle forward. Stomp the accelerator on the way to Quizville. Here we go, daddy. Here we go. Ready? Go. I may be a tiny reptile, but I'm hot,

and I'm always in the moon. Oh, horny toad. Oh, bingo. Immediately. That one took, what, three seconds? I kick ass at Candy Land. Wow, dude. Horny Toad.

Excellent. All right. Let's move right to the next one. They might get a little harder as they go. They tend to ramp up, vulture turkey. Turkey vulture from the last one. Yep. Still having issues with that one.

Here we go. Quiz number two For a creature Who lives in the ocean I sure do get thrown on land a lot No wonder I'm so crabby And here's the real ringer They love me at picnics

Hit the whole spiel one more time For a creature who lives in the ocean I sure do get thrown around a lot No wonder I'm so crabby And here's the real ringer They love me At picnics. Man, you ramped it up immediately.

Love you at picnics. I'm thinking Ringer might have a clue, too, in there. Love you at picnics. What's enjoyed at picnics? You've got picnic blankets, wine, baskets, cheeses, crackers. I don't know why I'm making that noise. Thrown on land. I mean, you said thrown on land, I think of someone throwing a seal on land to beat it for its meat.

Or to beat its beat. And then a ringer. I got to ask for another clue. I'm a creature who lives in the ocean. Okay. I get thrown a lot around on land. No wonder I'm so crabby. And here's the real ringer.

They love me at picnics. Wait a minute. I'm thinking something like a frisbee something thrown around because who loves a frisbee at a picnic. It's like a frisbee shark or something? You're missing some big clues here, buddy. Really? A creature that lives in the ocean. I live in the ocean.

I get thrown around. No wonder I'm so crabby. As I'm thinking, crabs also. And here's the real ringer. They love me at picnics. Oh, man. God, what are those little rotten crabs you can get? The hermit crab, no, not a hermit crab.

No one throws hermits anymore. That's an old thing like the dwarf toss. They used to do this for cheering. I'll give you one more clue. Give me another clue. Sometimes they throw me so hard and so far, I scream and my voice gets hoarse. Oh, Christ. My voice gets hoarse.

Your voice gets horse. I start thinking of horse flies at picnics, but I start thinking of horse crabs. It's a, it's a frisbee. It's a horse crab, crab, crab, king crab, a paleo crabs. We've got soft shell blue crabs. We have everything. We've got a mud crab.

Horseshoe! Horseshoe crab! Bingo! Horseshoe crab! Yes! Oh, he did it. Thank God I don't have Down syndrome. He did it. Wow. Wow.

I was just about to give you the answer. Horseshoe, horse, because your voice hurts. Right, I get thrown around a lot. I'm crabby, and here's the ringer. And as we know, ringer is a horseshoe term. Good work, man. Okay, let's see, let's see if we can get you on the next one. As the English would say, I'm quite the bird.

In fact, many would say with a name like mine, I could work at Hooters. I think Owl. Not the wisest dancer. Oh. Oh, see what I did there. I see what you did there. Whop whopperwill. Whipperwill.

Okay, so the English, one more time, what was the first part? As the English would say, I'm quite the bird. In fact, many would say with a name like mine, I could work at Hooters. I'm thinking like a breasted willow, like a big breasted willow, the English breasted owl. This is going to be a bird I've never heard of. Oh, okay. It might be. A breasted.

It might be a bird you might not have heard of. Let me narrow it down. It's a marine bird. Okay. I think of marine birds. I think of, like, pelicans. With a name like mine, I could work at Hooters. I think of breasts, or I think of teenage runaways.

So it's the teenage runaway owl. No, I think breasts, because of Hooters, breasted. Breasted. What if this waitress had blue feet? Would that help? The blue. No. The blue, the blue-hoved, the blue-hoved, fat-tittied eagle hawk.

It's the blue-hooved fat-titty eagle crab. I have no idea. There is a bird called the booby. I've never heard of the booby. The blue-footed booby. Yes. Did Terry Gilliam come up with that after eating a handful of peyote? It's a real bird, and it actually has webbed feet like a seagull, and its feet are blue.

I've never heard of it. Okay. We got one. You got one left. You got two out of three, one left. And if I answer this last one correctly, Carl Sagan will leave a voice message in your answering machine. Why are you so good at animal quiz?

Okay, here we go. If you could sell a kitten's meow on the internet, it would let you know just what kind of bird I was. If you could sell a kitten's meow on the internet, it would let you know just what type of bird I was. Correct. It's the Craigslist hawk. You can't make up species, although I do like them.

Even though the blue-fitted, blue-boobyed, fat-titted, Carrie-Gilliam hawk, let me think so if you could sell a kitten's meow, so I think of online commerce, I think of Amazon, I think of eBay, and I think of Craigs. So Amazon, Amazonian. Your facial expression would lead me to believe no. If you could sell a kitten's meow on the internet, it would let you know just what kind of work. What is a kitten's meow?

That's just a meow. Is it? It's a whimper? I'm a big cat guy, and I've always just said, there's the kitten meowing. Does a kitten meow have a particular name? Like a meowite, a little baby meow?

What if it was past tense of a kid? Miaoed. Miaoing? Miaoid. Mowed. Used to meow. Miao, meow time ago. Back in the meal days.

If you threw the internet in there. Miao Pentium. Mial Dell. Um, Meow web, web, web internet. This is going to be another friggin' bird I've never heard of. No, you know this bird. Do I really know this bird?

He's going to make me so mad when you say it, too. I know. I'm trying to think of the internet. I think of AOL. I think of cable internet, DSL, which makes me think of broadband, broad beak, the broad billy, Billy Billy, Billy Butterscotch

riding on his bike. three fresh bananas one for a little tyke um that was as close as you've gotten so far billy billy butter scott i might even accept let me check with the judges can i accept that as an answer no no okay wow it was close um all right let me take one last swing meo meo that's a clue by the way really me i'm out i don't know What is it? E-Mew. Oh, shut the front door.

I am an E-Mew. You are a sicken asshole. E-Mew. Christ, that makes nothing but sense. If you could sell a kittens' meow on the internet, it would let you know just what kind of bird I would. That's spot on. You could not have given better clues.

I mean that in E-Mew, that's on this guy's shoulders. I'm going to atlas that burden. All right. Well, you've got two out of two. Let's give them a hand, even though I'm the only one here. Why I'm doing that, it just makes no sense. But you know what? I'm going to try and get with the judges and see if we can kind of reverse this one and stick with Billy, Billy Butterscotch.

Billy, Buttercotch writing on his bike, three fresh bananas, one for his little tyke. Yeah, I think that's a much better answer, personally. I wish that was actually the name of a bird, and you had to say that out loud. the entire time when you saw that. Why don't we, you know, why don't we just... People don't know their birds. We could just go down to the park and just go, oh, look, Charles, a billy-billy butterscotch,

bibbling on his bike, looking for someone to ride his tiker like. Oh, look at that up in the sky. Ronda, Ronda, fatty pants, loves to sing and loves to dance. That's exactly what that is. You can tell by the wingspan. Yes, and look, it's nesting.

It's got some little chicks, some little baby Rhonda, Ronda, Fatti Pants, likes to sing and dance. Oh, look at that. It's, oh my goodness, look at that cresting over the hillside right now. What is it? It's Johnny Johnny, stinky butt, loves his dad as mom's a slut. Look at that.

Look at her. Ho whu-whu-hoor, whore eagle, whore eagle, hor eagle, hoar-eagle. Slot-hawk, slut-hawk, I'm a, I'm a skank parakeet-peat. Oh, man. Well, that was a great quiz. You did pretty good. You're always pretty good at that. Two for four, though.

Last one, I think I was three for four. Yeah, they're not easy, man, but you did well. So let's close it up. I want to thank you for being here, buddy. Thank you for having me, man. And now that I'm in your backyard, you feel free to just give me the old wringly dingling. I'll do the Jot foot up here. Justin will be here up here much more.

And give us a call. Let us know how you love. like the uh the visits from justin i love them and uh if you folks love them let me know 888 500 2090 we'd love to hear uh your feedback on my buddy justin here and uh we'll have them up here again real soon uh we're going to split we're going to go get some uh tap dance uh baby chihuahua glazed duck and uh fill our bellies and uh justin thank you for being here thank you for having me again man all right Well, this has been me, Harland Williams, with Justin Schlegel on the Harland Highway.

And until next time, chicken chowmaine, baby. You know, I'm going to be. Thank you.