The Harland Highway - PODCAST 250

Episode Date: April 1, 2011

McDonald's Big Mac, budding in line, how annoying is Sponge Bob? Senior Fuentes, truckers and trucker songs. Cabbage smells like lettuce!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holy jumping crab cakes. If only crab cakes could jump. But it's the Harland Highway, and I believe anything is possible. So here's to Jump and Crab Cakes. Welcome, one and all. I'm Harland Williams. You are on the Harland Highway. What an exciting show.

We have a brand new intro for you today. We'll get to that in just a minute. We're getting a visit by Senor Fuentes today. I get some more gardening stuff. I hope it's nothing tragic. We're going to be talking about everybody's favorite food, man. Big Macs. We've all been raised on Big Macs.

I don't care who you are. You have. We're going to be talking about budding in line. Don't you hate it when people bud in front of you? We'll get into that. SpongeBob Square Pants, do you like them? Or does he annoy your little sea urchin off? We're going to discuss that today.

And also, really fun towards the end of the show, a wonderful song for truck drivers. Really a wonderful song for everybody, but it's a good old-fashioned storytelling, kind of gets the goose pimples going on you, kind of truck driver's song. I hope you like it. Hang into the end, because I'm getting goosebumps right now. It's the Harlan Highway.

Welcome to the Harland Highway. You fellas been doing a bit of booze and have you? Sucking back on Grandpa's old cough medicine. There's an element of uncontrolled chaos. The Harland Highway. Serving everyone from presidents and kings to the scum of the earth. What a treat. Oh, wait. Was you a great big fat person? You just made a wrong turn.

On to the Harland Highway. You need many years of therapy. Hey, Harlan, it's Stephanie from Bedford. Just do me. You might want to think twice before seeking your penis in there. Just do me. You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harlan Williams. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, you are. How about the new intro, huh? Do you like that little treat? Oh, wait. Well, we're she ripping fat person. welcome everybody welcome let's not keep you waiting let's get right into the podcast and uh you know none of us like to wait um have you ever been through this little debacle you're at the home depot or you're at the uh at the uh you know j c penny or you're at the walmart or the kmart or wherever

you may be, Victoria's Secret, I don't know. And you find one of the guys that works there, the women that work there, they're walking around in the little orange vest or the blue vest or whatever type of vest they have on. If it's Victoria's Secret, a nippleless bra. That's their shop uniform, a nipple as bra and crotchless panties. And you finally flag one of these people down who, by the way, can be quite elusive at times.

You spend more time roaming up and down the aisle looking for someone in a vest than you do looking for the merchandise you want to buy. But finally you find someone, you lock in on them, and you've got like a multi-tiered question. You know, it's like, okay, look, I need to get the shelving unit, okay? Okay, and I need to know what are the sizes. Okay, it can fit about just anywhere. Okay, now, if I want it to go up, do I need to drill into the wall?

And if I want it to go sideways, do I need to put support? You know what I mean? There's like a million different questions for one item, and you're right in the middle of it. And you're like, so how much weight can I put on it? Excuse me? I said, how much weight? Excuse me? How much?

Excuse me one minute. This lady just wants to ask me something. Yeah, I'll just be real quick. Oh, okay. Yeah, thank. What can I do for you, ma'am? I was wondering if you could help me put the pieces together to make a super collider so I could speed up the earth's particles and go into hyperspace. Oh, okay, yeah. Sir, if you could just hold on for a minute,

well, I just quickly help this lady. Okay, but she said she wanted to make a super collider. like, isn't that like 75 miles of tubing that goes under the earth and accelerates particles? Yes, sir, I'll just be a minute. Yeah, it won't take but a second. I just need, you know, seven or eight hundred items. And you're just standing there. You're like, come on, man.

I just put in all the work. I finally tracked down a nerd in a vest. I'm in the middle of explaining to him. he's in the middle of explaining to me I'm getting ready to make my purchase and get the hell out of there because how long can you stand in one of those giant warehouse type

buildings full of merchandise they get overwhelming real quickly you know I don't know that shopping centers are supposed to have 75 foot ceilings and stuff stacked over your head it's like going into that vault in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

So anyways, this chick kidnaps my vest guy. And I'm just standing there picking my nose. I'm okay, well, he said it'll only take a second. And then she starts walking them away from my sight. Like, I'm right there in front of the thing I want. If you could just come down here and let me just show you, would you mind just quickly? Oh, that's okay, ma'am. That's what I'm here for. I'm wearing a vest.

Could you not wander off, sir? Just be a minute, sir. He'll just be a minute. Up yours, you selfish prick. When I make my Super Collider, you're the first one I'm going to annihilate. Wow. You know what? I don't need a shelf anymore. I think I'll just go chop down a tree, cut some logs, and hammer some logs up in my closet. There's my shelf. it's wood, isn't it? God.

So all I'm saying to you people, if you see someone engaged with a guy with a yellow or blue or purple vest, let the person finish who's talking to them and then butt in. Don't just walk in. It's almost like stepping into the middle of a phone call or something. It's like if I was standing in Home Depot, talking on myself, I'm like, Yes, yes, honey, I'm looking for the lumber, and hold on, some guy's just grabbing my phone.

Give me your phone. I want to talk to your wife. Well, you don't know my wife. Give it to me. Hey, who's this? Um, Mrs. Mrs. Williams? Okay. Hey, uh, do you like hockey or, uh, you ever fly a kite, or how about sailing? Um, is my husband there? Yeah, but I just decided to butt in and start talking. Um, can I talk to someone in a vet? Up yours. Why, you son of a bit.

You know what I mean? It's like, oh my God. So there you go, folks. Please just wait. Your turn. Up yours. Up yours. Hi, everybody.

I'm SpongeBob, and I live under the sea. Come and play with me underwater. I'm SpongeBob. Okay, are we sick of this little freaky, Zit-faced sponge That annoying voice And his optimism Have you ever met a guy that's happier

He could have been sent to Abu Grave And he would have been Torture me Hey everybody Hey stick another poker up my sponge hole Hey Hey hey I like that Oh man enough

That guy's grinding my nerves man You know where I'd like to put him You know where he'd fit perfect man oh ho ho ho ho i'd like to put him right in my george foreman grill oh yeah sponge bob lay down and get cooked what are you doing with me oh nothing just lay down hey what's that cover you're putting on don't worry sponge bob ah i'm just gonna flatten out your buck teeth Hes shah! Play the funeral music, man.

SpongeBob. Blumble lashes to the lashes. Dust. Dust. I don't know, man. I don't want a cartoon character that at one minute I can be laughing at, and the next minute's scrubbing my ass. You're riding home with Harlan Williams.

well you'll never guess what happened to me the other day i'm in the grocery store what oh no come on roger what is he doing here why do you let him in i'm in the middle of a show why do you let him in hello signor my name is senor frances yeah i know who you are you're my gardener you're supposed to be at home in my garden. Roger. My name is Senor Fuentes, not Roger. I know it's not Roger. I'm talking to my producer. Senor Fuente. No, Roger. Senor, I just came to let you know your greenhouse is done. What? Well, you said you wanted a greenhouse, right? Yeah, I said I wanted a greenhouse. Well, it's all done, senor. Okay, great. Did you have to come all the way here to tell me? Well, I had to give you the invoice, signor.

What do you voice? For all the paint. What do you mean paint? For all the green paint. I painted your house green, signor. Excuse me? Your house, signor. You know your house that was white with the yellow shutters?

Yes, my house, yes. Well, now it's green with green shutters, senor. What the hell are you talking about, Fuentes? That's, Signor, Fuente. I know your name cut it out. Well, senor, you should be. a lot happier now that you have the green house you asked for wait a minute i told you i wanted a greenhouse so i can plant stuff yes signor we can plan anything you want all around your green house

no no no what do you mean no no no signor how about yes yes yes your house is so green it looks lovely like a bush you idiot whoa what's that all about senor i told you i wanted a green house See, senora, and that's what I did. I just finished painting. Look, you can see the green paint still on my stubby little fingers. The fingers of a gardener who was at a hard life came from the... Stop giving me your life story. Came over the border.

Stop it. When I said I wanted a greenhouse, I didn't mean for you to go out and buy paint at Home Depot. Get up there and paint my whole house green. Are you, is there something wrong with you? Senor, I just do it and told you. Señor. Oh, God. I'm going to get run out of the neighborhood. The homeowners association is going to run me out of the neighborhood. I don't think, senor. Why not? Because I had extra paint and I painted their house too. Now there's

just a whole street full of greenhouses. You idiot, get out of here. Would you like me to paint your office, signor? It's kind of a drab wood color. It would look really nice green. Get out. Get out. Get out. Take your green paint and get out. Can I get you to say ho, ho, ho before I go, senor? Why would I say ho, ho, ho? Could you do it a little deeper, senor? Like the jolly green giant? Get out of here. Ho, ho, ho, green giant. Out! Just one, senor. Nice and deep. Ho ho. No, I'm not doing it. Get out of here. You did half of it, senor. If you did the other half, it would be the full ho, ho, ho. Out! I'm really loving the color green, senor. I remember you were telling me about the green movement the other day?

Yes? About how people are driving green cars? Yes. Well, I know your car is blue, senor. Yes, and I'd like it to stay that way. Too late, signor. I painted it green. Get out! Okay, we all love our McDonald's. We all love our Big Mac, right? Or do we? Okay, we all probably grew up on a Big Mac. We all went to McDonald's. We all heard the little jingle. Right? And, you know, it's ingrained in our subconscious. it's ingrained in our psychology, it's ingrained in our neighborhoods, in our culture, in our everything. McDonald's has pretty much made themselves a part of our lives,

whether you like it or not. I love it, okay? I just love it. But here's what I don't like, okay? First of all, I don't like that they microwave their burgers now. okay even though i don't know if it makes them taste all that different there's just something really impersonal about having my burger microwaved and what's worse is when you can see it you know you just see these these ladies back there nobody has any credentials as a cook

or a chef or anything they just they pull out these little drawers they look like filing cabinet drawers and they throw in the piece of meat and a little timer goes off and they pull it open and almost looks like they're making airplane food. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus, 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy,

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It's not the same. Back when I was a kid, you could go and you would watch the kids fry the crap right on the grill. You know, it was salty, it was good, I think it tasted better, if I'm being honest. But here's something that I don't like about the Big Mac. Probably the only thing I don't like about the Big Mac. This is not a segment to slam Big Macs. Believe me, this body, this hot body was built on Big Macs. I like a Big Mac.

All my friends go to the gym But I work out with a Big Mac Okay worst Why do I keep going to walking? I'm the worst walking Anyways Here's what I hate about Big Macs I know you guys can relate

Okay You're eating your Big Mac You're biting through it And the lettuce they put on it Is bigger And there's more of it Than there used to be When I was a kid

It was like tiny little shit shreds just the right amount, but now they actually put like big chunks of lettuce and inevitably when you're biting your way through a Big Mac, there's always that one big, clumpy piece. It's not green and it's not yellow. It's just kind of a sickly white, right? And it comes from like the stem of the lettuce or the heart of the lettuce or it comes from one of those areas in the lettuce.

Like if you were in your kitchen making a salad, you would cut the, this piece off and throw it away, right? But instead, McDonald's just shoves it all in there, and you're halfway through this burger, which for the most part, a burger's supposed to be soft, right? A bun is soft, the dressing is soft, ketchup is soft, the onions are soft, the cheese is melted, even the meat is soft.

So you don't want anything in your mouth that's not of a soft consistency. And then all of a sudden you're biting through your burger and even though lettuce is not soft, if you get to one of those chunks, when I say chunks, they're about, you know, usually the size of a sugar cube or, you know, like a little, I don't know, like the size of the nub of your thumb or something. And even though they're not rock hard, still they don't have the consistency of everything else and they kind of lump in your mouth. All of a sudden you're like, you're like, oh, wait a minute, what's that? What's that? What's that ball in the roof of my mouth?

What's that big thing that doesn't feel like everything else? And then you spit it out and it's like a big chunk of whiteish, yellowish, like lettuce stem. And it just ruins the whole thing. So now what I do because McDonald's stopped like filtering those out at some point. Now before I eat a Big Mac, I kind of search around in it. I go on a little treasure hunt. Any lettuce that's hanging out the side, I pull,

and then I open the bun, and I look for like the mystery chunk, and I pull it out, because I got to tell you, it ruins everything when I get that thing in my mouth. It's like if you're eating scrambled eggs, and, you know, sometimes a little piece of the shell falls into the egg,

and you're eating these soft, creamy eggs and all of a sudden, what the hell was it? And you crunch a shell in your teeth? I swear to God, it makes me almost want to puke. It's just, it doesn't belong there. And it feels weird and gross and, ugh. So what I'm saying to McDonald's is, you know, get rid of that thing. Work a little harder.

I still love you. I still watch you in my mouth. But I don't watch a lettuce. I don't want it. And neither is Christopher Walken. I mean, that's crazy. Having a lettuce chunk in your mouth. You're eating a Big Mac from the drive-through.

Okay, why am I doing that? What? Enough. God. So that's my message for McDonald's. Love you. Get rid of the chunk. A ditto.

Shut up. Happy yours It's a good time For the great days of McDonald's All right What's Crackin? I think your fellow followers Should be called

The Harlan Highway Hitchhikers Or Triple H I don't know Just a suggestion, buddy All right You got Joseph out here from Chino Keep up to your work, buddy You're awesome

You're awesome Hey, Harlan. Love the podcast. Keep it up. I found myself not being able to live without it these days. But I just had a suggestion for what you can call your listeners as a group. How about Harlanders? Sounds kind of cool and manly, and you don't feel like a puss being called a Harlander. Anyways, just thought I'd let you know that's my idea. And don't ever fix that deviated septum. We love you just the way you are. See you. Oh, no, I will not fix my deviated septum.

I'm going to tell you a story about that after we talk about this. But I want to thank you guys for sending in your suggestions. I asked a few shows back. What can we collectively call ourselves here on the Harland Highway? Because I feel like we're all carpooling together down the highway. We're whaling down the road, the breeze in our hands. and I thought, you know, if we ever make a t-shirt or something, we've got to have an official title.

So I don't mind the Harlanders. I agree it. It sounds cool, but the only problem is it eliminates the word highway. And I think somehow we need to incorporate both, you know, just the Harlanders is, it just pertains to me, but then not really you guys. So I want you guys to be part of this. So I think we got to have the Harland and the highway or something.

And then the hitchhikers, the Harland hitchhikers was kind of cool. I like the Triple H thing. I don't know if that's exactly it, but, you know, I'm going to put that one in top place for now. Keep calling in. I want to thank you for both of them. The Highlanders is cool. I will call myself or I will make any.

You know, girlfriend I'm with call me that, of course, during lovemaking, of course. Oh, Harlander. Yeah, that works sweet. But I would put Triple H up in front, but still I don't know if that's the home run. It's close. So keep calling in. 888, 52090. See if you can come up with the official name or word or slogan for.

are all of us collectively together who roll down the Harland Highway. That's 888, 500, 2090. And I want to address the deviated septum, man. That is so funny because, yes, I was born with a deviated septum. All my life, people have kind of thought that I talk a little slow and a little nasally. You know, people, I've been all over the world and people think I'm from Texas. I was born in Canada.

You know, I think I talked about this once on the show where I, if you sit with me at a movie theater, it sounds like you're with Darth Vader because I breathe so loud. And I went to see a doctor once. I had an ear infection and he had to take an x-ray of my face. And this was a few years back. And in the process, he came out and he said, yeah, we looked at your ear, but can we address something else and I go what? He goes, you have the biggest deviated septum I have ever seen in my whole career. He goes, I don't know how you function. I don't know how you breathe. He goes, I don't even

think you know what real breathing is like. And it's like one of those things, you know, when someone has bad senses like bad hearing and suddenly pop in a hearing aid, it's like, oh my God, this is what sound is like? Or you have blurry vision and you put on glasses, you're like, you're like, Oh, my God, why didn't I do this years ago? I have a funny feeling. You know, I probably breathe 4% of the oxygen that everyone else breathed. So, well, you people are at 100%. I'm probably sucking in 4%.

It's amazing I'm pretty athletic and I love to play a lot of sports. But I have a sneaky feeling if I ever did get this giant deviated septim address. That's what she said. I bet I'd be on a whole different level. But the truth is, I'm kind of like, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, you know? I'm one of these guys, I guess. I mean, look, if I had a tumor, if I had life-threatening, you know, something or other, of course I get it addressed.

I'm not a moron. Yes, you are! No, I'm not. But little cosmetic things, you know, I, I think I'd rather just leave those alone. If you believe in God, if you believe in a master plan, if you believe in fate, if you believe in anything, I feel like there's reasons for things.

You know, I'm a guy that was teased a lot as a kid because I have big ears, but when I was a kid before my skull grew in, my ears were even bigger, okay? And I got teased a lot to the point where my parents were like having sympathy on me, and they actually came to me on a number of occasions because I would get called Alfred E. Newman from Mad Magazine.

I would get called Mr. Spock. I would get called the Dumbo the Elephant. And my parents were like, would you like to go in for a procedure? And I'm like, what are you talking about? And they go, to get your ears pinned back. Yeah. So God bless my parents for extending, you know, that offer. That's very nice that they were,

aware of my suffering and my humiliation, and they tried to, you know, rectify that. But, you know, at a young age, I was just kind of like, you know what, there must be a reason. I'm proud of who I am. I'm confident in who I am. I believe in me. I got to believe that life has bigger things in store for me than the affliction of having big ears. You know, I'm not ashamed to them. Yeah, I get embarrassed and humiliated, but it almost lit a fire inside him.

It's like, yeah, you make fun of my big ears now. Someday you'll be buying my albums. Someday you'll be getting my pay-per-view. Someday you'll be paying to come to old Big Ears movies, whatever. So it just made me a little more determined to kick a little ass and show everyone that the guy they were making fun of had some potential. and uh you know that wasn't the whole reason but that that was probably part of it and then the other part was i like i said i was just like confident in myself i was like hey there must be a reason for these big ears and no chin and slow voice and deviated septum and the whole other laundry list if you gotta keep picking on me wait a minute i'm the only one picking on me you guys might not have thought of this stuff i hadn't opened my big mouth um So, yes, to answer your question, I will be keeping my deviated septum.

You know, I'm at a point, I'm halfway through my life, and, you know, I'm breathing just fine, I can taste my food, I can smell everything that's around me, I'm going to be okay. So there you go, Harland Deviated Septum Williams continues to ride. Why, that's splendid! And speaking of riding, I know that there's a lot of truck drivers out there who listen to the Harland Highway, which I love. I love it that you truck drivers are out there. There's one in particular down in Australia that listens. I know you're listening. He writes me at the Harlan Highway at Harlowell Williams.com.

And I love it. I love it. I think it's a great place to listen to the Harlan Highway when you're out on the highway. way in your big rig and uh i don't know there's just something romantic about the whole truck driver uh scene to me and truck drivers are probably like yeah right arland uh sleep in a gas station in the back of my truck crumpled up with a kentucky fried chicken bag real romantic jackass i guess what i'm saying is the whole ambiance of of truck driving you know being on the open road driving into the sunset

you know seeing a deer run across the road pulling in for junk food whenever you want right no boss over your shoulder no sitting in a cubicle there's something about that that i guess i romanticize i don't know if i should or not but when i was a kid i wanted to be a truck driver i just i wanted that freedom i wanted that openness i wanted to be away from the office from the city you know just seeing the world and also just the you know i like to road trips. I like sitting up in the seat. I like sitting up high. I like shifting the gears. I like being on the CB. So what I'm saying is there's a mystique to being a truck driver in my mind. You might be going, good Lord, I wish you were a truck driver. We won't have to listen to this crap. But I've always had a fondness for truck drivers. I appreciate what they do. It's hard work. It's long hours. But there must be something to it or they wouldn't do it. I'm just, sure they've got a passion in their heart for whatever they're hauling

or trekking across country and their big reg and so this next bit's kind of for them you know there's this whole kind of genre of music that's kind of like truck driver music and you know

I think it goes a step beyond or before country music it's kind of just got this kind of vibe to it that I find a little bit enchanting, a little bit mysterious, a little bit cool. And it's probably stuff mostly only truck drivers are aware of and privy to. But, you know, I keep my ear to the Harland Highway. I know things.

And so some of the truck driving songs are real storytelling songs. And there's one in particular I'm going to play for you that I just find very haunting. and this guy kind of takes you along for a ride telling a story, and it just sounds old, and you can almost picture the guy, you know, at the side of an old diner in the middle of the desert in Arizona, standing beside the jukebox, drinking a chocolate malt, telling his story. And anyways, I won't keep blabbering.

Why don't I just let him tell the story? I heard this song when I was traveling some backroads and fly, Florida once and it was late at night and I was driving and it was rainy and it was just kind of this cool haunting song and this goes out to all the truck drivers and everyone else I think you'll appreciate it. It's by Red Sovine and it's called Phantom 309. I was out on the west coast trying to make a buck. And things didn't work out. I was down on my luck.

Got tired of roaming and bumming around. So I started thumbing back east toward my hometown. Made a lot of miles the first two days. And I figured I'd be home in a week if my luck held out this way. But the third night, I got stranded way out of town. At a cold, lonely crossroads, rain was pouring down. I was hungry and freezing, done caught a chill, when the lights of a big semi top the hill.

Lord, I sure was glad to hear them air brakes come on. And I climbed in that cab where I knew it would be warm. At the wheel, said a big man, he weighed about 2.10. He stuck out his hand and said with a grin, Big Joe's the name, I told him mine, and he said the name of my rig is Phantom 309. Well, I ask him why he called his rig such a name. He said, son, this old Mac can put him all to shame. There ain't a driver or a rig running any line that's seen nothing but tail lights from Phantom 309.

Well, we rode and talked to the better part of the night. when the lights of a truck stop came in sight. He said, I'm sorry, son, this is as far as you go, because I got to make a turn just on up the road. Well, he tossed me a dime as he pulled her in low and said, have yourself a hot cup on old Big Joe. When Joe and his rigged roared out in the night, in nothing flat, he was clean out of sight.

Well, I went inside and ordered me a cup, told the waiter Big Joe was setting me up. Oh, you could have heard a pin drop. It got deathly quiet, and the waiter's face turned kind of white. Well, did I say something wrong? I said with a halfway grin. He said, no, this happens every now and then. Every driver in here knows Big Joe.

But, son, let me tell you what happened about 10 years ago. at the crossroads tonight where you flagged him down there was a busload of kids coming from town and they were right in the middle when big joe topped the hill it could have been slaughtered but he turned his wheels well joe lost control went into a skid and gave his life to save that bunch of kids and there at that crossroads was the end of the line for Big Joe and Phantom 309 But every now and then Some hiker will come by And like you, Big Joe, give them a ride Here, have another cup And forget about the time

Keep it as a souvenir From Big Joe and Phantom 309 Oh God Don't you love it? I almost feel like we need a moment of silence after that song. Oh, I'm going to do a moment of silence right here for Phantom 309 and Big Mac, Big Joe.

Here we, where we go, even though they're not real? I got to do a moment of silence, ready? Here we go. Oh, there. Oh, did that song not give you little goosebumps? Did it not make you feel something? Did it not make you? Didn't he kind of pull you into a world?

Didn't you feel like you were back in the 40s? Out on the American road, Route 66, or there's just something about that. To me, that's kind of what music is all about, to capture a moment, a vibe, a flavor. Oh, now all you youngsters are probably going, what the hell is he talking about? It's the most dumb-ass song I've ever heard,

but no, I'm not going to let you go there. Listen to it again. Turn the lights out. Lay in bed. Just get to a quiet place where there's no MTV or Fox News or Internet or texting. Just lay down, turn out the lights, lay on your back, stare at the roof, and let that song just take you away. Or if you're driving your big rig, just put your feet up on the dash,

take your hands off the wheel. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, I just let there's some. Something enchanting about that song. I love it. Look, I'm a rock and roll guy, okay? I listen to heavy metal. I listen to pop.

I listen to, you know, but this is in a category of its own. You almost feel like a trucker just by listening to it. I want to go out and get a big rig and haul some logs across the state from Minnesota or something. It's so cool. And it's a simple song like that where you feel. emotion that you hold that type of song up to today's music where Rihanna is singing about her umbrella Ella Ella Ella and and you know Jennifer Lopez is singing about raise your glass up on the dance floor bullshit you know and these rappers are like I'm in Miami bitch

you know it's just like what is that crap that that makes you feel nothing but I don't know to me that has no substance an old song like this reminds you of the magic of music hang on that's probably that Phantom 309 call on

hang on wait wait they hung up okay so maybe it was a phantom that's weird random phone ringing and then nobody's there they is that you big Joe but anyways I hope you enjoyed that one

thanks for the guys to put it together just kind of a flashback and again I encourage you to just if you want to make this fun I know it sounds cheesy I don't care if you're 13 years old 8 years old 40 years old 60 years old

here's what I want you to do take your laptop take this download whatever it is lay on your bed just before you go to sleep at night turn out the lights lay on your back and just listen to this tune that that's your homework it's it's going to be i just feel like it's going to be a good kind of one of those warm experiences where you get you know when you're cold and you drink a hot chocolate and it warms you up and if you really listen to the words and focus I don't know it's kind of a magical little story am I overselling it I don't know I just like this stuff it's so hard to come by

nowadays I'm enchanted but enough about that double honk honked all the truckers out there I hope you dug it and to the rest of you in what type of vehicle you are keep on motor and right down the harlan highway watch out for phantom 309 and uh until next time chicken chow main baby Thank you.