The Harland Highway - PODCAST 258

Episode Date: April 20, 2011

People who whisper, going underground, Angelina Jolie visit, Football drive thru, Cap'n Kirk invades the studio, BBQ Eddy, and the listner mail bag. Grab a scab dab!!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Riders on the podcast. Doon-de-do-do-do-d-do into this podcast you are thrown. Down-de-do-do-do-do into this. All right, all right. Come on, Har. Sorry, man. It's okay. Just get on with it.

Okay, man. Thanks. Up yours. Welcome, everybody. This is Harlan Williams. Welcome to the Harland Highway. And what a show we have today? We're going to be talking about going under ground, going under the earth's crust.

How about that for a topic? Is that something you like or does it scare you? We're going to be opening the Harland Highway mailbag today. We're going to be reading some of your letters that you sent through. Always interesting and stimulating. Barbecue Eddie should be dropping by. I think there might be a visitor to the studio or two today. I don't want to drop any names.

I don't want to be a name dropper, but Captain Kirk and Angelina Joe Lee. Hello, for starters. What other podcast brings in those celebs? And then we're going to talk about whispering. Do you know people that whisper too much? Yeah, I know a few people, and they annoy the ass off of me. So we're going to get into all that. There'll be no whispering here today.

Let it be known, loud and clear, that you are on. The Harland Highway Welcome to the Harland Highway You fellas been doing a bit of booze and have you sucking back on Grandpa's old cough medicine There's an element of uncontrolled chaos The Harlan Highway

Serving everyone from presidents and kings To the scum of the earth What a treat Oh wait Was you great big fat person You just made a wrong turn On to the Harland Highway You need many years of therapy

Hey, Harlan. It's Stephanie from Denver. Just do me. You might want to think twice before sticking your penis in there. Just do me. You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harlan Williams. The final frontier, these are the voyages of the Starship Enterprises are five-year mission to boldly go where no man has gone before to sink out new life, new planets, excuse me, to boldly, excuse me, to boldly go where no man has gone before, excuse me, Kirk!

I'm trying to run my ship. Do you mind? Yes, I do, mine. What are you doing here at my console, in my studio? I'm afraid your mistake, and this is the bridge of the USS Enterprise. I'm commanding my spaceship through the galaxies. Boldly going with no man and stop it! Don't go into the whole blurb again. It's not a blurb. I'm boldly going

We're no man to stop it, Kirk Cut it out Stop the music Stop that damn music God! You must relax I'm not gonna relax Every so often I come up to my studio To do a podcast

And here's you thinking this is the Star shit Enterprise I can't believe you just called The Starship Enterprise a starshit. Well, that's what it is. Well, I'm not leaving. Yeah, you're leaving.

No, I'm not. What is that? I've just called security. I've been removed from the bridge of the starshit enterprise, as you call it. Cut it out. There's no alarm. Turn it off.

Stop it. I've called security. Turn it off. Kirk! Turn off the star shit alarm. You just did it again, you called my ship, the Star Shit Enterprise. Yeah, because that's what it is. It's not even an Enterprise.

This is my studio. Get out of here. I'm afraid I'm going to have to fire a torpedo at you right away. There's no torpedoes. Knock it. There's no torpedo. Kirk, there's no damn torpedo. I'm afraid you've just been hit three times.

Let me call sickbay. and make sure they have some room for it. There's no sick pay, there's no anything. I'm not listening to what you say. Jimmy, crack corn, and I don't care. Don't start. I really don't care. Jimmy, crack corn, and I don't care.

Stop with the stupid poems, the stupid lines from nursery rums. Get out of here! Jimmy crack gone, and I don't care. Out! Jimmy crack corn and I don't care. I'll even sing it if I have to. Get the hell out of here off the Starshit Enterprise. Up yours.

Yeah, up yours too. I'm going to file a complaint with Starfleet Command. Why don't you just file a complaint with Star Shit Command? Out! Up yours again. Out! Jimmy, crack gone, and I don't care. Get out! Up yours.

Wow, that was a pretty crazy bet. I mean, I really liked the bit, but it's really crazy. Do you hear what I'm doing right now? Yeah, I'm whispering. And it's driving you nuts, right? Because I know it's driving me nuts. Yeah, that's right, whispering. Any of you have friends that for no particular reason go into a wistening?

whisper when you're talking to them. Like you'll be at a tennis court or you'll be at a restaurant, you'll be in a park, you'll be in a car, you'll be in a very public place, you'll be in a very private place, and your friend in the middle of their conversation goes into whisper mode, as if the walls are listening, as if the house is bugged. We'll be like, yeah, so I was out with Jim the other night, and this is just between me and you, but he's starting to date Janice.

Okay, so I just want, and I'm like, pardon me? Yeah, he's starting to, what are you saying? I can't hear you, you're whispering. No, I'm just saying that Jim is starting to date Janice. Speak up! I'm not kidding. I have a one of my best buddies does that all the time. He just starts whispering.

And I kind of look around like, wait, wait a minute. Is there someone here? that's not supposed to be here is who's that guy over by the water fountain who's that guy uh walking through the door who just got off the elevator wait wait what are we in like spy mode here yeah because uh you know we really shouldn't be talking too low you know and they half mumble they half whisper and i'm just like i call them every time i just look at them with a blank standing i can't hear you why are you whispering and then they kind of realize they do that well i just you know i don't want and they never have an explanation

they just go into whisper mode i have a guy who work with that i go to like you know meetings with and stuff and he's the same way we'll be sitting there talking we're out we're out at a business lunch or we're in a in a waiting room in a lobby waiting to go in to have a meeting and he's like look guys this thing's going really well uh i think we're in good shape here and but uh we just got to make sure that uh you know if we're going to go in there we're going to thing we got to really focus on really hit that over the head really uh what i'm just saying if we stop whispering yeah i don't know if you know people like that i do and it drives me bazonkers if they want to be so quiet lay down in a coffin and die and if you keep whispering i'm gonna

i'm gonna make that happen what do you mean you're gonna kill me yeah i'm gonna kill you Why would you kill me? I don't know. Because you're whispering. Shut up and talk loud. How does that make sense? Shut up and talk loud. I don't see how that has any logic.

How can I shut up and talk? Just shut up and talk loud. Oh, you mean like this, man? Yes. Thank you for shutting up loudly. Oh, no problem, man. Now, how much of those funeral arrangements? Hey, hey, hey, it's the Harlan, High.

way and uh man you ever go to the movies and you ever get stuck in those long lines and hold on someone up my door hello hi it's me again oh my god angelina joly yes you're back i'm back wow i know you dropped by yesterday i wasn't i just checked it out the office next door is empty let's go what do you i want you oh i want you now Oh, my God. Take off your shirts. Take off the headphones. Angelina, hold it.

Hold it. This is a family show, kind of. You're a family woman. No, I'm not. Well, I thought you were with Brad. Not when it comes to you. I was under the impression that you were with Brad Pitt. Yeah, but he's not with me now.

What are you implying? You're like a piece of meat to me. Come on, let's go. Don't you want to play? What do you mean? And what? You're a piece of meat. So you want me to just be your play toy, Angelina Jolie?

Sure. Why not? Where? Where could... Upstairs in the elevator. Uh, you know... Ooh, do you ever like to take a ride in the elevator? Okay, you know what? This can't be real.

Why would you want... Or the kitchen, we can use knives. You know how I like to play with knives. Oh, my God. Ooh. I have a show to do. I don't have time to be... Okay, you've got to put those back on because I have a...

Can I take my shirt off? No, because I have a commitment to my listeners. Right now? Okay. I'm going to take... No, no, I'm not going to do that. Angelia, you have to go. Okay.

What are you doing later? No, no, get out. I'm calling security. You got to go. Okay. I'll be waiting in the elevator for you. I don't need this people I'm doing a show for you

you people are lucky I'm so dedicated to you my listeners you're my meat and I'm doing you here on the Harland Highway This is Eddie

He wants to party But they just hang up Hello Hey how's it going man Good Jenny Who? Eddie?

Eddie? Yeah. Eddie who? Just going to see if you want to maybe grab a beer later or something. Who is it? It's, uh, Eddie. Oh, I don't know any, Eddie. Well, what are you doing after work, or maybe we could grab a Heineken or something?

Uh, you have the wrong number. What about a Budweiser? Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what, you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus, 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy. I will be packaged and sent discreetly for, free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve

com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and a 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Hey, what the hell? That was Eddie. He wants to party. But they just hang up. Oh man. As you get older, do you ever go through this that you experience a new fear, right?

Like something that you're just oblivious to, you know, for most of your life. You didn't give it a second thought or a passing glance. And then suddenly as you get older, something starts to, like, get under your skin and kind of scare you or something. This is what's going on with me, okay? I live in California. I'm always going to a lot of meetings. Like, I'll head over to Disney or Fox or Paramount or one of the things. studios for a meeting whatever and believe it or not being california there's tons of

underground parking structures and these are big studios you got to remember disney employs thousands and the fox lot has thousands and and so you show up and they send you to these visitor parking spots and they're either like 40 you know thousand leagues under the sea down one of those spiraling uh parking structures subterranean parking structures you know you're down deeper than even even the ants dare go right or they send you up to the roof where you're going up you know it's like a twirley ride it's like a lead zeppelin stairway to heaven you're swirling up up up when the hell do i get to the visitors parking oh over here there's some guy with wings waving me over to an empty spot.

Over here, my child. Who the hell are you? I'm God. Your parking spot is right up here in heaven. Thanks for making the journey all the way up. Are you interested in staying? No, I've just got a meeting, God. Thank you. Well, I'll see you soon

enough, you little prick. What? So, I mean, God, you go onto these things, and you feel like you're just driving into a tomb. Like, they never have very high ceilings it's just enough for your vehicle to get through especially if you drive a pickup truck or an SUV or something like that right they have that that stupid bar that comes across the entrance and it tells you it goes six feet 11 inches you're like oh my god and it's just why they have to put

that there and cut off your your headspace even more i don't know but even when you drive under it you're in a big veal you kind of duck your head you're like oh my god i'm gonna hit it i'm gonna and then you probably just squeak by like an inch and then you're in this subterranean like ant nest made out of concrete it's like one of saddam hussein's underground bunkers and you just keep swirling around and the gray concrete and you go deeper and it gets scarier you're thinking you're going to see like miners from brazil down there you know you'll park your car and all of a sudden, like, 12 trapped miners pop through the wall in front of your truck. Whoa! Hey! Oh!

I'm sure what to Brazil. I don't know. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yeah, there's a Kentucky fried chicken down the street. So what I'm getting at is I'm getting more and more nervous going down these things, man. They just look like, to me, they look like giant coffins just waiting to close on me. all that concrete and I think about all the weight you know think about all the weight up above i mean if you're going down honest to god like sometimes seven eight layers okay and every layer above you is supporting the other layer above that and above that on each of those layers there's like 400 cars that weigh you know 3,000 pounds a piece not to mention the crust of the the upper layer

layer of the earth's crust sitting on the back of this underground monstrosity. Are you kidding? I'm getting terrified to go underground. You know, forget funeral arrangements, man. Don't worry about getting me a plot in a graveyard or buying me a coffin. I'm in enough of these underground tombs that's just a matter of time before one of them, like, gives in and that's it. I'm done.

Not only am I buried, I'm pressed. I mean, I'm going to be pressed in between the concrete floors. I'll be like a, I'll be like the first guy to beat his own funeral and be like a pita. Right, or some kind of falafel or a chicken wrap or something. You know, just pay your respects. Don't throw flowers of my grave. Just throw shredded lettuce and some hummus. That'll be me laying down there.

Getting eaten by the ants. Football season's over. It's all gone. It's come and gone. It'll be back next year. Hello. But the one thing that always reminds me of football season is whenever I go through the drive-thru, and you see that pimply-faced kid at the window with the head gear on

and the little microphone over his mouth. And all I can think about is the NFL coaches. and have you noticed how most of them are like old fat guys you know they got huge guts and man titties and I realized that those guys I always thought they're on the sidelines like calling the plays man but I think what they were doing is they were like taking drive-through orders

and diverting them from the drive-through line to the football field somehow some kind of covert fast food diversion you know these guys are on there calling the play is like, take it down the middle, do a lateral fast, drop into the shotgun,

give me an order of bunch of rings. Yeah, Manning, what I want you to do was hit your linebackers. He's running down the left field, have him do an invert, and have him to a lateral run and then hit him with,

let's get some curly fries on that play. You've got double cheeseburger and I'll let us know tomato extra onions, and make sure you get it to the end zone. Huh? What? What was that play?

I don't know. Something's up, man. Why do they need those stupid little headpieces? They're ordering fast food, man. They're drive-thru. A secret agents undercover drive-thru agents. The jig is up, NFL. I don't know.

Is this the dumbest conspiracy theory you've ever heard? I just made it up, and I don't even believe it. What the hell am I talking about? God, I'm going to go to the drive-thru, put some curly fries in my eyes, and try and wake up. Here on the Harland Highway. Yeah, would you like to the jumbo size that? Shut up!

Hello! Letters, oh, we get letters, we get your letters every day. Mailman, mailman, mail today. Reach right in and pull one out. Those letters, I love those letters. Let's find out what you've got to say. Mailman Mail today

Oh boy indeed Here we go It's letter time Here on the old Harland Highway These are letters Actual emails That you guys and girls

Have sent in to Harlandwilliams.com I kind of let them build up And then I dump them on you guys And this first one's a winner I mean this one made me sad But cracked me up at the same time. Let's get into it. This one comes from Rick, and he says,

Hey, Harlan, without the D, H-A-R-L-A-N, so really maybe it's not to me. He goes, I've been listening to a lot of podcasts over the years, and I have to say I recently found yours, and I am very impressed. I love the amount of production you put into your shows. Great job. Okay, here comes the But you have to work on clearing your throat because it sounds like you ate a muffler with holes poked into it. After all, this is an audio podcast, and the constant gurgling that is coming from you makes me FF through the show or completely turn it off. FF meaning fast forward. Oh, God. Oh, the pain.

I love the bits and the parts where you just talk casually is grueless. great until the holy muffler comes into play. So please clear your throat and drink some water. Try Musinex. Thanks, brother, and keep up the great work. All right, let me let you in on something here. And listen, I hear you, man. If something like that drives you nuts, it drives you nuts.

As you noticed, I talk a little bit slow, okay? I talked a little bit nasly, and I think I talked about this on a show not too long ago, where I have like a major deviated septum, right? And so I do have a bit of a nasally tone in my voice. I do, you know, I don't know what all the gurgling and the popping is. I'll try and work on that. I don't know anybody who talks that doesn't like gurgle and pop, but you must have extra sensitive gurgle pop.

bad ears or something. I don't know what you're talking about. It's a mystery to me. All right, that was gross. All right, point taken. You know, I like it that you like the show. It cracked me up. A muffler with holes in it.

That's what she said. and take some Musinex and drink a lot of water. I'm on it, boss. Let's keep going here on the mucous highway. Here we go. This is from Turf in Western Australia. By the way, I love it that Australians are starting to tune into the podcast. Spread the word, man.

I love Australia. I've been to Australia like three times, maybe four. I can't remember. And I love it. I love the people down there. I love the energy. I love the comedy, so spread the word down there in Oz. And here's a letter from Turf.

Got to love that name. Guy names himself after a football field. He says, hey, mate, just heard your podcast about Viz Magazine. I'm also a huge fan. I have a good collection. My favorite is Biffa Bacon. I also like Letterbox with top tips, etc. Your show is also gold.

I have heard every single one. Give yourself a high five. Okay, let me try that. Hold on. Okay, I think basically I'm just clapping. Let me try. That's a whole lot of high fives I'm giving myself. Hold on.

Yeah, I think it's just clapping, buddy. So I think why don't you give yourself a clap would have been the, why don't you give yourself the clap? You'd have to be pretty dirty to give yourself. self the clap. Anyways, he closes up by saying, good on you, Caba.

Well done from Western Australia. Good on you, Caba. Well done, mate. This is turf from Western Australia, mate. Love your podcast. Now I'm going to go out

and punch myself a crocodile. Love it, buddy. Thank you for your letter. Let everyone know in Oz and let's just keep motor in here with your letters. I love it. All right, here's one from Dave Hug. I love these names. Dave Hug.

I'm Dave. Hug? Okay, I guess. No, that's my last name. Oh, I thought you wanted a hug. No, I am hug. Anyways, Dave Hug writes, You can call your viewers of the Harlan Highway podcast, and I'm going to stop.

operate there. If you're watching this podcast, something's wrong with you. As the previous letter said, this is an audio experience, but you can watch it. I don't know what you're seeing. But I put out there a while back, what should we call ourselves? All us people here on the Harland Highway, what kind of name could we collectively call ourselves? And he's responding to that. I've been getting a lot of good ideas. I don't know if I have it yet, but he goes, You can call us your viewers of the Harlan Highway podcast, the Globetrotters, because we're the best fans in the world. Also, I was hoping that on your next podcast, you can give us your opinion on this whole

Charlie Sheen nonsense. Well, A, yes, you are the best fans in the world. Thank you so much, everybody. I love thanking you guys, because I love it that you tune in, and we're all going down the highway together. Don't know if the Globetrotters works for me. It doesn't really tie into the whole highway thing. And I feel like you're kind of rolling off the Harlem Globetrotters,

which is interesting. But thank you for the try. I'm going to pass on that one. And as far as the Charlie Sheen thing goes, I think if you go back maybe about a month, I dedicated almost a whole show to the Charlie Sheen fiasco. And I think I'm one of the few guys that actually found some wisdom him in his madness.

I broke it all down. Take a look if you go back into the archives about a month back, maybe six weeks. Somewhere in there, you'll find the whole Charlie Sheen feedback that I was able to give. Let's move on here. Let's move on to your letters. Good Lord. Here's a letter from a guy named Bunner.

Okay? I don't know if he works at a bakery. Um, he's into pastries, but Bunner it is. Love the names here, man. Anybody out there named Bill or Mary or John? We got hug, we got turf, we got Bunner. Uh, Bunner says, hey, hope you keep it up. Great podcast, Harlan.

It keeps me entertained all day while I pull weeds and trim hedges. Keeps me from offing myself. And then, ha, ha, ha. Okay, man. Look, if this podcast can keep people from dying, all the power to the podcast, okay? And I love it. I love it that there's a guy out there gardening, and he's obviously maybe a landscaper, and he's out there trimming and cutting and listening to this madness. Good on you, mate. I hope you're enjoying Senor Fuentes.

He shows up a lot on the show, and he is probably the ultimate gardener landscaper. And don't off yourself, you know, just keep trimming your hedges, buddy. Give yourself a Brazilian, whatever you have to do. But if you off yourself, then you're not listening to the Harlan Highway, and that's just not right. And speaking of which, oh my God, our next letter comes from Nick Lurch. From the Adams family? Does anybody have a normal name here today?

Lurch, you rang. I love it. Nick Lurch writes, A Senor Fuentes. I'd love to hear a story about Senor Fuentes packing your mud hole. You know what? Senor Fuentes is a little weird,

but I don't know if I want them to pack my mud hole. That just gets a little too creepy, and I might want to off myself. Let's move on from Mr. Lurch. and let's see who else we got here. All right, here's another letter regarding the name of the Harland Highway listeners. This one comes from Little Davy Cowwood. Okay, Davy Cowood was normal, but then the little up front,

I don't know if that's Little's buddy. I don't know if he's a mouse or a man, but I like it. I like the name Little Davy. uh here's the subject he says names of followers of the cult of harland okay here he says please find my humble suggestions for the name of those on your highway here we go he sent a whole list this is going to be good how about the high weenies the high weenies that's kind of fun but i don't know how macho it is if you get you're in an alleyway somewhere right and you get surrounded by a bunch of bikers and they go Who the hell are you, man?

And you're like, I'm a high weenie. You're not going to beat me up, are you? Kill them! So not enough toughness there. Here's the other one. Harlots and Harlocks. That one's pretty cool. That's like very, you know, 14th century or something.

Harlots and Harlocks. I guess if we were all running around with a giant turkey leg in our hand, that one would be good. Harlandites. That one's pretty cool. I like that one Let's give that one a little checkmark Harlandites Almost like some kind of

Prehistoric dig What the hell is that? I don't know, it looks like a Harlandite Call the museum, hurry I don't know, it's kind of ugly Shut up Here's another one Ascotonians

Okay And then in brackets he put This is a good one Olin So I guess that's should be in Dr. Ascotts voice. Ascottonians. This is a good one, Holland.

We can't. The last thing in the world I'm going to do is name the Harlan Highway after that jackass Dr. Ascot. Up his, man. Holland. Don't get out of here. Holland. Get?

We're not doing it. Up yours, Holland. Up yours. Holland. Shut up. Get out of here. I'm reading mail. Holland.

Get out. Uh, so no, we're not, Dr. Ascot's name does not come anywhere into the title. Up your dollar. Shut up! Okay, here's one that's a bit mystifying to me. It's H2O's. I don't know. That sounds like a breakfast cereal, man.

The H2O's. Interesting, a bit too scientific maybe. Um, but Harlandites is pretty good. I'm going to put a checkmark beside that, and that's all he's got. He says, thanks, little Davy. All right, well, thank you, little Davy. Good letter. And remember, if you want to get in on this,

all you have to do is write a letter to harlandwiliams.com. And we will get your letter up here eventually if I like it. I'm not going to read it if not, if not, right? um so let's let's do one more letter and then we'll close up the harland highway mill bag for this time let's see what we got uh let's see okay this one is a little disturbing but uh you know could work out good for me or bad for me okay it's uh it's from the united kingdom by the way again, I'm really loving it that people in the UK are listening

to the All-N-Eway. The only problem is over there you drive down the wrong side of the road, so I hope you don't bump into any Americans. This is from Terry Whitworth. Okay, finally a normal name, but Terry could be a girl or a boy.

And here's where I get a little nervous, okay? Because I'm not into dudes. And his his or her message sounds a little sexual okay so if you're if you're listening terry maybe you can clarify for us um here we go the subject from terry whitworth says looks a bit rapy okay uh rapy indeed and here's the letter love you harland i'm 25 i'm english uh oh here it i should have screened i'm male and do you fancy riding me like a walrus.

Oh, God. Why didn't I pre-screen this letter? There's the answer right there. Terry is a dude. Do you fancy riding me like a walrus? Terry, not a chance in hell. I wouldn't ride a walrus, let alone a guy, a human walrus. Okay?

Not into the boys, Terry. I'm terribly sorry. Hope you find your men, walrus. somewhere in an old dirty British zoo, maybe a manatee. I don't care what you find, but it ain't going to be me. Go find yourself a double-decker bus, a London bobby. Do what you got to do, buddy. And now, you know, to kind of wash this rapy thing off me that he just did,

I'm going to have to insist on a girl from the United Kingdom named Terry to write or call because I just got to get this off me. I mean, the whole nature of it, like the subject looks a bit rapy. That's how he said.

It looks a bit rapy. I love you, Holland. I'm 25. I'm English. I'm male. And do you fancy writing me like a walrus? No.

You go, you're a bad boy. Bad boy for writing me that. Go to the kitchen. go to the pantry and grind a crumpet in your face you're a bad bad boy go stand in the corner put your little British school boy uniform on go stand in the corner and grind a bloody marmalade covered

crumpet right in your face you're naughty little walrus not a little walrus so if there's a British girl named Terry out there can you please write me at harlewilms.com a very provocative, sexually charged email just to counterbalance this raping that I just took from Terry Whitworth. Not a healthy way to end the letter bag here today. And why did I even say bag?

Let's just say, what's wrong with bag, Holland? Nothing. I just did, oh, you know, I really like a bag. If you've got a walrus bag, get shut up. Shut up all of you. So let's close up the mailbox, and thank you for your letters, everybody. Love getting them. Very funny, very interesting.

You can write to harlornwilliams.com, or if you don't like writing, you can always call and leave a message. 888, 52090. That's 888, 52090. That's it. Let's close up the Harlan Highway. Oh, yes, thanks again to work on this birthday. Oh, yes, thanks again to everybody for their wonderful letters. Keep them coming.

I will try to work on the gurgling. I will try to find a British walrus. I will try to do all the things that I need to do. And speaking of the mailbox being closed, the show is now closed. I'm terribly sorry to have to tell you that. But we are at the end of today's episode. Oh, my God. So sad.

So sad. But hey, I want to remind you folks that if you are in the New York, New Jersey area, I'm going to be at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey. uh april 28th 29th and 30th fantastic comedy club you can come out and see me live busting a move and uh you can go to harlom williams dot com click on my stand-up schedule you can get

uh direct link to the club pre-order your tickets which i highly recommend you do uh come out and have a laugh with the kid uh don't forget you can get the uh highway at stitcher.com it's a free app so you can listen to the highway on your cell phone and don't forget to check out the harland williams.com store we have all kinds of cool t-shirts CDs books movies all kinds of fun stuff in there for uh for you to enjoy so check that out and uh i guess that's all the time i have all i got left in

me with my last gurgly breath, all I can say is chicken. Chalmy, baby.