The Harland Highway - PODCAST 263

Episode Date: May 2, 2011

My new hero, energy drinking, Senior Fuentes, interview with actor/comedian Andy Dick, Harland sings with the Cousins. Slurp a purple Slurpee! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holy smoke in a crazy fun house, boy and girl. Yeah, it's a crazy fun house. It's the Harlan Highway. How are you, everybody? Oh, good to have you here. I can feel the warmth. I can feel the warmth pulsing back and forth between us. What a treat.

As I said, I'm Harlan Williams. You are on the Harlan Highway. What a show we have today. My God, it's a little bit longer today. It's so packed full of stuff. I'm going to be talking about my new favorite hero. I'm not talking about Spider-Man or Swamp thing. Wait a way to you hear where my new hero is.

We're going to be talking about energy drinks. Signor Fuentes is going to drop by, I do believe. And we're going to talk about investing, investing in the Harland Highway podcast. Very interesting stuff. And guess who's going to be singing today? Yeah, I'm here. I'm doing a special live performance from a club. Me and my cousin from the Bare Naked Ladies,

our hobby band, The Cousins, a completely wild song. And then we're going to throw that right in the middle of another interview with actor-comedian Andy Dick. We're down to our second last one with Andy. It's going to be fun, but it's always fun because that's how we roll right here on the Harley. Highway

Welcome to the Harland Highway You fellas been doing a bit of booze and have you? Sucking back on grandpa's old cough medicine There's an element of uncontrolled chaos The Harlan Highway Serving everyone from presidents and kings To the scum of the earth

What a treat Oh wait Was you great big fat person You just made a wrong turn On to the Harland Highway You need many years of therapy Hey, Harlan. It's Stephanie from Denver. Just do me. You might want to think twice before sticking your penis in there.

Just do me. You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harlan Williams. Yo, yo, Harlem Williams here on the Harlan Highway. And, uh, hold on. I'm someone at my door here. Hello. Oh, man. What's up?

He's senior frantes. Oh, man, what are you doing here, man? I've been looking to be your gardener, man. It's like I've been trying for, like, months now, to be your gardener, man. Yeah, I know you've been trying to be my gardener, and I'm not interested. Because you've been, you put a leaf blower in my face, you put garbage bags over my head, you crackled leaves in my eyes, you put twigs in my hair. Oh, come on, man, I'm just trying to do a good job, man.

I mean, I'm seeing you a Fuentes. Yeah, I know who you are Fuentes, and it ain't. happening. But I got somebody new, man. I got a new gardening implement, man. Oh, you got a new guard. What do you got? I got a shiny new shovel, man. Look at this shovel. Okay, whoopi-do. You got a shovel. Let me show you how it works, man. I start digging a hole in the ground. Look at this, man. What are you doing? I'm digging a hole, man. Stop that. You're digging right into the floor. Oh, look at this hole, man. Oh, this shovel works good, man. What are you doing? Get out of my floor.

Oh, man, look at it. Oh, look at this. I'm going deep and deeper, man. Look at this. Hey, can you hit me out there, man? What are you doing down there? Hey, man. Hey, can you see me? I can't see you anymore, man.

What are you doing, Fuentes? That's in your Fuentes. Oh, my God. I can't believe this idiot's digging a tunnel in the middle of my studio here. I'm going to go get security. Did you ever know that you're my hero? And everything I would like to be.

Oh, that I need all. For you are the wings, my wings. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I have a new hero. Unbelievable new hero. Not Superman, not Spider-Man, not Cabbage Patch Kid Man. his name is John Q. Public Man.

Oh, yeah, just an average guy. Let me tell you this story. This guy is a bona fide hero. I don't know if he should be put in that cemetery where they have all the white crosses, where all the soldiers are buried, all the heroes. I'm sorry I'm blanking on the name. I don't mean any disrespect.

I will probably think of it at some point. Or I don't know if this guy needs to be. be put up on Mount Rushmore as a carved head. I don't know if he needs a plaque somewhere. Let me tell you what happened, okay? I'm at the airport. I'm sitting in a terminal. I'm waiting for my flight.

The plane comes in. Everyone gets off the plane from wherever they were, right? They're clearing off my plane so that I can get on with the people I'm with. And they come walking down. the jetway, and this one lady comes out. She looks like the fat chick from Cagney and Lacey, okay? Dark hair, middle-aged, got the big glasses on, and I don't know if this chick thought she was in the middle of a Broadway play. Okay, but she comes walking out of the jetway on her cell phone, full volume projecting the whole room, the whole waiting area, is watching.

this magnificent Tony Award winning play she's putting on and she's oblivious to everybody there. I swear to God, it was like I was watching a performance and she's on her cell phone. She's just like, no, no, what you're not understanding is I'm not going to go through with this. When I say I want this done, I want it done. What? You're going to talk to me like that? No. No, this is not what I want.

And she went on and on. on, right? And I don't know why she just isn't walking through the airport. She just got off her flight, right? But she decides to stand on the spot in the middle of the waiting area, and everyone's just looking at each other like, is this really happening? Do you see this chick? Who's the director on this play?

I mean, this chick was focused. She was given the performance of her lifetime, and we were all rolling our eyes, and we were all thinking the same thing. Someone, shoot this idiot. You know, another masterful case of zero, zero cell phone etiquette. You've all seen them, the people in public who just talk at peak volume, oblivious to everyone else around.

So this chick's going on and on, and everyone's getting uncomfortable. And all of a sudden, this guy in a turquoise shirt, just a normal looking dude, you can never pick him out. of a crowd probably 50 years old maybe 53 walks up to this lady walks right up to her she's on the phone and he just looks at her he literally gets within about i'd say six inches of her and he just goes you go over there and he points he puts his arm out like you know the way the grim reaper did in a christmas carol remember the grim reaper put his arm out he just pointed to the gravestone and Ebenezer Scrooge was like, oh, so this guy just points,

and the lady's still just staring at him, like, what the hell, but she's not, she's like, she's still going, she's like, yeah, no, this isn't what I signed up for. I'm not going to, you let me talk. And he just goes, you, go over there. And she was like, what, what? And this guy just got right in her face and forced her to walk away. And so this blabbermouth walks away. down the hall and I was like oh my god I love this guy this guy is my hero the way he just

walked right up to her and told her to clam up and get lost but I had a feeling this chick was so like out of touch that it wasn't over that it wasn't going to end there and sure enough she comes drifting back she's still on the phone okay she's not she hasn't even hung up she's still doing what she's doing comes back to the guy now she's having two conversations he gets in the guy's face and he's like excuse me sir this is a public area you can't tell me to leave and this guy walked right up on her he got his face like right in there like the way you see guys in hockey when they're about to fight right they push each other and they turn around and they get raided each other's face their chests are almost touching and they're like come on you want to go you want to go let's go this guy just went right up to her

face he goes no you're talking really loud lady you're pulling me into your conversation i do not want to be part of your conversation get out of here and she tried to argue and this guy just kept slamming her and slamming her and it was beautiful and i just got to do this did i ever tell you you're my hero you're everything everything i've been I wish I could be Oh, night I can fly a ride Waiting area

Wings I mean, come on man I want to be that guy that guy just did what everyone was thinking he walked up he was fearless and even when she came back she had the look of fire in her eyes she was ready for a challenge she wanted to get into a fight with this guy and this guy just had that steely demeanor he was just like don't even try it lady and he just like puffed his chest up and you know in this politically correct age right where everyone's so sensitive and everyone's so worried about a lawsuit and if you say anything to a woman it's suddenly

it's a sexual slander case and you know and this guy just he didn't do anything wrong he just went no get out of here you're talking you're making me part of your conversation nobody needs to hear what you're saying go and he did it again he sent her away again oh i loved it I just, I want a poster this guy. I want the pajamas. I want the bed sheets. I want the badge, the button. I want the toque.

I want the baseball cap with his picture on it. I want the movie rights. This guy is the new superhero, man. Screw the X-Men. Screw the Avengers. I want, shut the hell up on your cell phone talking guy. Okay? And I'll tell you what I did.

I said, if that guy can walk up to someone, I'm going to walk up to someone. You know what I did? I walked up to the guy. And I just walked up and I said, dude, that was the coolest thing I've ever seen. And he looked a little confused to me. He's like, what, well, I go, what you just did to that lady? Awesome. And he just started laughing.

He's like, well, look, man. I don't want to be part of her conversation. And I said, you keep on doing what you do. You are incredible. and he just kind of smiled, and I smiled. I let him know that I appreciate it, and he's my new hero. So let's hope we can follow his example and be better people, and the next time we get someone talking loudly on their cell phone,

we have the courage to walk up like my new hero and send them away. the wind beneath my wings fly flies so high in the sky so high I almost touched this guy thank you, thank you thank God for you

the wind need my Thank you, Thank you, cell phone guy. Hey, this is Harland Williams here on the Harland Highway. Is your energy feeling a little low? Go over to the grocery store, buy four cases of Red Bull, and drink all four of them. Then go out in the street, run through some walls, go to the zoo, beat the crap out of a couple of polar bears,

and then fly to Venezuela, flapping your arms, and punch the crap out of a giant sailfish, and dive to the bottom of the ocean, and stick your head in a giant clam and eat it. You'll feel much better. you'll be all ready for dinner just another helpful tip here

on the Harland Highway Hey Hey Hey Harland, I love listening to the show My name is back And a couple of shows back He talks about Sitting down

And coming up with an idea to make millions of dollars and I think I'm going to do that I'm going to do that I'm a computer programmer that's great idea I don't know if you've ever seen the social network I'm going to be I'm going to be just like the guy who made Facebook except I'm going to weigh a lot more I'm going to be a heavier guy that's the only downside Harlan but as soon as I make those millions of dollars I'm going to sponsor your show I'm going to sponsor your podcast your podcast any way I can. So you keep me in mind. You remember Zach who's going to sponsor the Harland Highway. All right? It's been recorded, been set in stone, and it cannot be denied.

Love you, man. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast.

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That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discreet. count and a hundred percent free shipping code harland have fun don't throw your back out oh my god Zach i would love it man i would absolutely love it i am going to remember that you know people say that stuff oh don't worry when it happens i'm going to be there for you yeah yeah yeah well i'm holding you to it zach okay buddy uh i mean that would be great you guys have no idea how much fun I have doing this podcast.

And, you know, I live a frantic, busy life, believe me. Between flying around to concert gigs and doing movies and TV stuff and writing assignments and meetings and socializing and, I mean, it's a miracle I get this show done, okay? But that's a testament to how much I enjoy doing it. most of the stuff I do here is really 99% of it is a first take scenario. It's rare that I go back and redo a take because it's mostly because I don't have time. And lucky for me, I'm a big believer in the energy of the first take. So, you know, I just kind of improvise it.

I go along. None of it's scripted. I just belt it out. It's the first thing that comes out of my mouth. is what you guys get. Every now and then I'll have a little blip where I'll screw up a word or something. A lot of time I'll just leave it in.

Sometimes I'll cut that out, but everything else is pretty much pure. And for a guy like Zach to come along and offer me $50 million the way he did, I'm telling you, Zach, I would build a giant warehouse the size of Home Depot. I would staff it up. I would quit everything else

and just do this podcast. I would do it daily. I would make it longer. I mean, are you kidding me? I would have more guests. I would have more bits. I would have more time to do things. Oh.

So I'm holding you to it, buddy. Okay, Zachary. Don't forget me when you come up with that new. I think you said it was the overweight face book. So why don't we just call it Fat Face Book? since you brought it up. You said you were going to be heavier. So there you go.

Maybe I just gave you the idea. Fat Facebook. How about that? Facebook for fatties. Right? Oh, my God. What am I giving this idea to you for? I just had a stroke of genius, man.

Screw your sponsor. I'm going to do it myself. Think of it. How many overweight people are there in this country around the world, but mostly this country. Okay, we have fast food industries that service the fatties. You ever seen the biggest loser?

Right? And come on, guys and girls, be honest. When you're on Facebook, how many times has someone sent you a friend request, and it's a close-up tight of their face, and they got the eyeliner on, and they're giving the sexy pouty lips, and you're like, oh, wow, this chick's kind of hot. And then you open up to the photo gallery, and you realize they were zoomed in right on their face, and the rest of them's a chubster. So it's shallow, but that's the world we live in.

How about a Facebook for fatties? How about fat face? Okay. And if you're overweight, I'm not trying to offend you, but think of it. You know, it might be a little harder for overweight people to meet or, or, you know, get together or do fat people like to go out with other fat people or not? I don't know. I'm just saying maybe like any other sect of society,

they can have their own special social network. Fat face book. Or how about fat face cookbook? That seems more apropos because they love to eat. So there it is. Zach, fat face cookbook. Are we partners? Okay, forget what I said.

You do what you're going to do. I'm going to take you up on it. I want you to build me the Harland Highway warehouse where I can really get going with this thing. And that will be a blast. Thank you for your call. Don't forget if you want to call me, you always can. 888, 500, 2090.

And now, why don't we get back to? some more of my wonderful in-depth interview with actor-comedian Andy Dick. I think this is the second last interview with Andy. So if you're not digging it, thank God there's only one more after this. But I'm hoping you are digging it because I had a great time talking to him. And what I like about Andy is he really doesn't hold back. You know, anything I asked him, he kind of just put it out there. and he's sharing it with you.

And for being kind of a public figure the way he is, it's kind of interesting. So here we go. The second last installment of the Harland Highway, Andy Dick, interview. Oh, man, we are back. I'm here with Andy Dick. We just took a little break. We went out, we grabbed us a pizza.

We took the little pepperoni slices off the pizza. We put them on our eyes and we pretended we were pepperoni. brothers. But we're back and I've been asking a lot of questions of Andy here on the Harlan Highway today and I promised him that when we got back from the break he could lead it off

and it looks like you have you have some gray areas about me that you want to well no there's just one no there's one thing that is I went the reason I'm even here is because I was weeping softly into my pillow a few weeks ago

and I thought who would be able to cheer me up. I thought about you. I really did. But it was three in the morning, so I wasn't going to call you. So I went to your website, harlanwilliams.com. Sure. That's great. And I went there, and it was like I was with you. It was like I was hanging out with you. And I listened to some of your podcasts. I forgot that you even had this thing, the Harlan Highway. And I listened to Dr. Debbie. Dr. Debbie timer, life coach. Life coach.

And I was laughing in my bed till I was crying. And you helped me get back to sleep and it was so sweet. But I also skipped around on your website and there was this there was an awesome music video

called I want to be I think it's called I want to be your Harlan Williams. Oh right. Yeah. Who sang that? It's an awesome song. And did you do the music? video no i you know what that whole thing uh there's this this group called perry grip and they did the theme for a buffy the vampire slayer they've done a they're a legit band yeah it sounds amazing yeah

and i walked into a radio station one morning to do some publicity you know over in ohio or something and i walked into the studio and here's this song playing and i was like oh you the djs put together a little song and they go we didn't put it together it's this group Perry Grip and there's a whole song and you know it's really cool So you don't know them Well I actually wrote them after the fact And say guys thank you

I am so flattered It really is cool and it's a fun Cooky song and I thought maybe you commissioned them No that's amazing That's such a total surprise And that's amazing for you You can hear it and see the video on Harlem Williams.com

It's really catchy good It's just a great song It's just amazing and I love it now But I thought it was your I remember you have a brother or a cousin or a friend that's in a band. Who's that? Yeah, that's my cousin, Kevin. He's in the bare naked ladies.

No. Uh-huh. Don't lie to me. Yeah. Really? Yeah, he's the keyboard player. I love the barrenaked ladies. Yeah.

I used to hang out with them when I was doing news radio because he was friend, they were friends with Dave Foley. Yeah, you've met my cousin. Okay. But that's not who I'm talking about. There's a band. Maybe you're in it. I wasn't talking about the bar naked ladies. I love the Bear Naked Ladies.

Okay. What band am I am? I don't know. No, you're in one or... Well, I do a... No, you produce one or... No, I do a band with my cousin Kevin called The Cousins. We have a hobby band. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, it's just a hobby band, but that's what I was talking about.

We do, we do that. Is that still going on? Yeah, we still do that stuff. Do you ever perform live? It's rare because he lives in Toronto. Right. And I live here, but what I'll do is I'll throw one of the songs on this podcast and the folks can hear.

One of our little cousin songs. It's coming up right now. Here's a big hit from The Cousins. All right, here it is. The Cousins. Hey, thanks a lot, guys. Thanks for coming out. Should we play one more of our new ones?

You want one more? One more of our new ones. All right, we'll do one more. It's a little rusty. This is our first encore, man. Hit it, Kev. Everybody's running up and down the street all day. Shopping and shopping and shopping and going every way.

Everybody's gone all over the place. Nobody's got any time no more Everybody wants to get what they don't got Hey Slow down mama Hey Put the brakes on daddy Come on tune you slow down

Come on daddy Come on, Mama, take a break Everybody's walking all over the face Slow round you go Slow down, mama, slow down daddy Come on, come on, come on Everybody's running in the old rat race I don't see no cheese

any place slow down Kevin slow down Bobby slow down Chris slow down Night Screamer

Everybody's running all over the face Everybody's trying to get in my face Everybody going Here and there Everybody's shopping in there I know where I said slow down homer Slow down junior

Slow down daddy Slow down Everybody's nice and slow down Walking around Nice and slow now Jumping up and down On George Michael's face All right now

Now we're just fucking improvising Boy, are we good We didn't really have a new song That was just a little champ Thanks again for coming out of you guys Enjoy Thip Blockel Slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down, Slow down, slow down.

Thanks, we'll be back soon. And we're back. That was an amazing song. You liked it? I like it. Now, speaking of, wait, so, but are the bare naked ladies still together? They are, yeah. They're really great.

They're a really fun, good, talented group of guys. Bye, bye, bye, bye, buy, buy, sell, sell, sell, how well. that's that you too you started as the bare naked ladies and slowly segueed into temple grand it's a helen keller yeah wouldn't you love to see helen keller running around in circles in a crop circle in a field would that be what if all crop circles were made by her yeah maybe she's the one she straps wood to her feet and runs around in the corn in the middle of the night Helen, come in I want to talk about

Andy and I have known each other for a long time from the comedy circuit but where we really got to bond where we really got to get to know each other and hang out and really work together at a greater capacity than just at a comedy club is Andy and I were in a movie together

called Employee of the Month with Dax Shepherd and Dane Cook and Jessica Simpson. That's what I wanted to ask you about by the way. Oh, what's your question? Well, my question, do you have some things you want to say about that? I just wanted to tell the people, you know, I've done a lot of movies. You've done a lot of movies.

When you're doing movies, it requires a lot of concentration. And when you're a comedian, you're usually the one making people laugh, and you're usually in control. I got to tell you, and I've told you this, Andy, but I want the listeners to hear it. When we did Employer the Month, every single scene that I had with you, I lost it I consider myself very professional I could not even look at you without having a deep guttural

wheezing laugh where I could not get through the scenes and I love you for that I thank you for that and I'm a guy that doesn't laugh that easy I don't know why I'm a comedian you'd think I would but I have a quirky sense of you just

you probably gave me 10 years worth of laughs being on the set with that and that's not just you being here and me i've told you this before so i just love it i love it thank you if you watch the bloopers uh at the end of the movie you can probably see a little bit of it but oh so if you get the dvd they have bloopers oh you haven't seen it oh oh yeah they have a whole bunch of bloopers i got to buy the DVD yeah at the end there's bloopers they give you one what a DVD i don't think so they gave you one did they well probably they didn't give me one remember they remember i had i was

having issues. On the movie? Well, there's that one day. But you always have issues. I always have issues. But I'm always a professional. I'm always doing great. But on this one particular day, I think it was the first day we switched over to night

shooting. Yeah, and you couldn't handle it. You went, but what, can we tell people what happened? Well, what happened was I was waiting for my scene, you know, one of the scenes. And as it happens in movies, especially. very often we were we were running late especially on this day where we switched over to the night time yeah because because um we filmed in a real Costco that's right so that we had to wait for it to close which is like nine or ten o'clock 10 o'clock so we started at 10 o'clock at night

and filmed till whatever six or seven four five in the morning six in the morning yeah whenever it was brutal it was brutal and i so but so i wasn't really on the nighttime schedule yet and while i was waiting for my scene I opened up a bottle of wine and I was sipping on the wine and eating my dinner lunch breakfast whatever you want to call it because your hours are way off yeah I'm sipping on the wine and I really have I have a rule where I'm just if I'm if I'm going to work I'm allowed to have like a glass of wine that's where it ends a one glass I don't care if I'm live on stage or if I'm in on TV or whatever from I'm a guest on letterman sure just a glass one glass red or white red red always red a nice pino noir a really nice one depending on

whether it's letterman or this podcast yeah which by the way I haven't had anything to drink that's interesting you can you decide that it's like fish or meat letterman I'll go red Leno I go white It's like you, you look at your talk show host as like an entree. Letterman, I'll do a $50 bottle, Kimmel. I'll do like the $599 Trader Joe's Pino Serra Reserve. It's still a nice wine. Two buck chuck. No.

I'll never, I can't drink that swill. Okay. I'd rather have nothing. But for the record, I haven't had anything. You know, I don't, I'm always drinking. I'm not like, I don't need it all the damn time. No, no. And even on that movie, I didn't drink at all.

You were really good. I was great. Thank you. Just till like the last week you went a little bazoncoids for bazaercoids. I think I was excited that we were almost done. Yeah. And I said, and I was maybe I was getting a little bit bored. I don't know.

Yeah, you were getting bored and you were. I was done with my scenes, my major scenes. It was now mostly a lot of just us standing there watching stuff. But I see, I was actually, I was having a kick watch and you get jacked up. I know, I knew you went, but here's what happened. So I'm sipping the wine, I'm sipping it, and hours and hours went by, and I look at the bottle, and it's gone. Yeah. I drink a whole bottle.

Hello. And then they say, Andy, time to get on, come on the set. And that's what I wanted to ask you, because I don't quite remember exactly what went down. I just remember kind of sobering up when, when I, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, was yelling. at the top of his lines. Oh, right, right. Well, there was a couple of things that went down. The first thing was you got jacked up on the night that we had to do a chase scene through the Costco

pushing shopping cards. And you were so fired up and you were like behind me and I'm a big guy. So I was actually having fun. But you were running behind me and like pushing me and trying to rip my shirt off and just generally trying to cause chaos. And because I'm that type of guy too. I just let you do it and I was howling. And it's like we did about 12 takes

and every time you tried something crazier to try and cause a train wreck and I was almost kind of just feeding it. You were. But then Dax Shepard was there and I don't think Dax was as open to your chaos as I was and there was a point in time when you and Dax were sitting right beside each other

and there was a lot of tension in the air and I believe I had to get between the two of you a couple of times. Yeah, you had to stop him from beating my ass. I basically had to calm Dax down and move you away. Yeah. Because you were, you were provoking him. I have to be honest. You were, it's almost like you wanted him to take a swing at you.

Yeah, probably. You got, you were all jacked up on red wine. And I was like, well, I like Dax and I like you. And I felt like the big brother all of a sudden. I'm like, I'm not going to let. These guys go at it, and I actually got between it, and Dax came up to me afterwards. And I don't think I ever told you this, but I think he thought I had some agenda, and after everyone had gone, he came back, and he walked up to me, kind of a little bit accusatory,

and he got a little bit in my face, and he goes, so what's your thing, man, what's your thing? You like to break people up. That gives you, like, a rush to kind of, like, you know, get in between. And I said, Dex, don't get psychological on me. I said, here's what it was. I like you. I've been working with you guys for two months up here. I like Andy.

You're about to go out of it. I don't want to see my two friends hurt each other. And he looked at me and he just said, okay, man, cool. Thank you. And he got it. So he was very cool about it. But it was tense. I remember.

He and I used to be very good friends. He drove me around on his mom. motorcycle he has i think if i remember he has a harley and i wore a helmet and did you put your arms around his his stomach i was gonna say i was walking on his waist yeah you are that's what did it that's what did it but we used to be close man we used to have fun and and be close and that one night that one night killed it and yeah i've never well i remember one thing that that almost pushed it just about got it over the edge you took your glasses off and put them on his face and he was just staring at you like that was almost your way of like come on hit me hit me you it was amazing to watch

and you weren't scared you were fearless and i can see it coming and i was just like i'm gonna stop this this is like my two little brothers getting ready to fight yeah well he wouldn't have been able to hit me with those damn classes on you could i couldn't see a thing they they asked me do you want the the glasses that are really the thick oh these weren't your prop glasses you you put your real glasses on his face. Oh, I did? Yeah. Why would I do that?

I don't know. And he just sat there like, you know, I hate saying this word, really, but he was almost like, really, you're really, you're really doing this? We've just had a big heated back and forth, and you cap it by taking your glasses off and putting them on my face in front of everyone. He didn't take him off. He just stared. He just stared at you like the look of death stare.

Like you're one second away from liftoff. goodness but that's what I like about you you you're a you're a fearless guy but you're you're fearless in a lot of ways and you're fearless with your comedy with your acting yeah and it's it's it's it's great to watch i love it i i i tried to retire twice i don't know if you know that i just can't you just can't you you can't no you're right thank you because you've got this there there's guys that can be technically funny and can turn on a switch and sit at a computer and right you just you are funny inside you're like gary shandling there's certain people you look at them and you just start to smile i look as goofy as gary you know not goofy i know you mean though you have

the same thing you have the same thing you really do well that's why i'm here right now oh really we need to hang out more we do yeah i mean unless you like to be alone all the time i like to be alone but with people so you can be in the main house and i'll be out here in this guest i might i might come and do a camping weekend in your shack you because i love the idea of a fire inside with a lid on it and it's not inside it's outside it's outside okay oh andy andy andy andy there you go uh the second last part of uh my andy dick interview i'm sure i'll have andy back uh again in the studio, but some fun stories from the set of Employee of the Month. Andy is a troublemaker, and he truly is one of those guys.

You know, you might not get it through the screen, but when you meet Andy in real life, he just, he can get you with a look, man. Just a look. He can crack your ass up. I love it. As far as the cousin's song, I laid down a live. track. That was recorded at a small theater in Toronto, Canada, called the Rivoli. That came from a live tour I did with the cousins. And, you know, I got to kind of apologize

because that really wasn't a new song. That whole song you heard and the music, the lyrics, the music, everything was improvised in the moment. We had never talked about it. We had never thought about it you know that's the way me and my cousin work he he starts playing and i start singing and you know i won't sit here and say that the lyrics were great you know uh what was it everybody got to slow down or something i don't know but i think what you can capture in in that moment is the fun that we have and uh you know uh even though the song was a little cheesy me and my cousin, when we're on stage, when we're singing, when we're doing what we do, there's a magic between us that I really haven't had with anyone else when it comes to, like, performing.

And it's probably because we're blood, we're related. But it's just a blast. So I hope you like that little slice of live music there from the cousins. Wow, what a show. It was a little bit longer today. We had a lot to get to. I'm glad we did. I'm glad you were here.

And if you're there, and when I say there, I mean Washington, D.C., I will be there this coming weekend, ladies and gentlemen. Thursday, May 5th, 6, 7, and 8th. Mother's Day. The 8th, I will be in Washington, D.C. at the improv. So go to Harlow Williams.com. Click on the stand-up schedule, and if you are in the region, would love to see it's a great club. My opening act is going to be Justin Schlegel,

who you've heard on this podcast many times. Hilarious. I love the guy. Super funny. It's going to be a killer show. Make sure you get your tickets. Don't forget you can pick up the Harlan Highway at Stitcher.com. Keep your letters and your phone calls coming at Harlan Williams.com.

or call at 888, 500, 2090, and I do appreciate you being here. I hope you had a good time. And until next time, remember you are my heroes. Chicken, Chalmain, baby. I almost touch the sky Thank you, thank you, thank God for you my name Thank you.