The Harland Highway - PODCAST 281

Episode Date: June 13, 2011

Special guest Sean Tweedley drops in for chuckles and stories. Swing it wide sister!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's the way love goes. That's the way love goes. That's the way. Why am I singing Janet Jackson to you? This is the Harland Highway. We don't sing Janet Jackson on the Harland Highway. I'm sorry. Wow, what a crooked way to start.

Perfectly legitimate podcast. Oh. Well, hey, welcome, folks. You are on the Harland Highway. It's me. It's your host, Harland Williams, and glad you could be here. Love bringing you the podcast. Make sure you tell all your friends about the fun they're missing out on by not being on the Harland Highway. Today is a special show.

It is a show where I have a special guest, and the whole show will be chatting, conversing, laughing, arguing, fighting. and, you know, just talking with each other here today, sharing opinions and, you know, hearing thoughts and jokes and stories. It's always fun just having a close buddy here to kick back and just kind of roll down the highway. So I hope you enjoy him. He's a comedian, he's an actor. I won't give you his name because you're about to find out right here on the Harlan.

Highway! Welcome to the Harland Highway. You fellas been doing a bit of booze and have you? Sucking back on Grandpa's old cough medicine. There's an element of uncontrolled chaos. The Harland Highway. Serving everyone from presidents and kings to the scum of the earth. What a treat. Oh wait. Was you a great big fat person? You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway.

You need many years of therapy. Hey, Harlan. It's Stephanie from Bedford. Just do me You might want to think twice Before sticking your penis in there Just do me You're riding down the Harland Highway

With Harland Williams Hey everybody It's Harlan Williams And you're here on the Harland Highway And I have a very special guest with me today He's been here many times before You know him, you've heard him

You've laughed at him He's a very funny guy He's a virtually a well of knowledge, although you wouldn't want to fall into him. He's here. He's my buddy. He's a comedian. He's an actor. It's Sean Tweedley, everybody.

How you doing, Sean? How are you? Did you just give me the finger? No. I see your finger was on your forehead. I gave it right past you at something I saw behind you. What was out there? A bird flew by and gave me the first.

finger wait a bird was flying by put its claw out yeah the bird flipped you off a bird gave you the bird flipped me the bird wow i was flipping the bird back and you happened to have just caught in the middle i was in the middle so that would be the equivalent of if let's say uh you know abraham lincoln was watching a play and i walked up to say hey mr lincoln i really like your work and that assassin just happened to shoot and I was in the middle and I took Lincoln's bullet. Right. That would have worked out better in all cases. Wait.

It would have been better for America, for this interview. If I took a bullet. Sure. Because the odds are I would be talking to Abe Lincoln right now about something. Wow. So what you're suggesting is the world would be better off if I had taken Abe Lincoln's assassination bullet. What do you think? If you got shot in the head and then one of our founding presidents went on to, you know, help the nation further.

Okay. And the only ancillary effect is that you're dead. Yeah. That's not bad. I don't see a huge problem with that. I don't think so. Wow, it's hard to argue with that logic. Right.

I'm never going to a play for the rest of my life. Thanks to your logic. You could still shoot yourself in the head. You're right. Yeah. Wow. You're just full of, you're like Martha Stewart. You've got great suggestions, but none of them really work out for me.

No, not these ones here. They aren't pro you. But I've got other stuff that doesn't involve you dying. Oh, sure. Well, let's get into that. Before we get into it, is there anything we can plug, anything we can mention? We want people to find your website, your Facebook, your CDs. Yeah.

What do we got? I'd love to have everybody come check out my website because I've always got great new videos on there and my tour schedule. And, yeah, and you can contact me there as well. What's the website? It's WWW. Let's Get Harlan's Shot in the Head. What?

What? Oh, wait, wait. That's a different website. No, I was just going to say you don't need to say www. That's all. Oh, okay. Woo-woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, dot, shan tweedley. Yeah.

Nice. Well, good. Well, so life's been good for you. Have you been following this Charlie Sheen crap? I have. I love him. Me too. I love it, too.

I can't get enough. Charlie Sheen, to me, is, he's great. He's pure. He's like, I would, in fact, like to snort Charlie Sheen. I would freebase him. I would roll him up and smoke him if I could. He is like, when I watch him on TV, he's like, I feel like I get secondary high, you know, like I'm. Like a contact high.

I get a contact high from watching. And when he's not on, I come down and then I find him again, I get right back up. And he is, he's so wonderful. You know, and I love everything about it. I love the idea of who's at his place right now. I mean, the porno stars. The porno stars. Andy Dick hangs out at his mansion now.

Really? Yep. And, duh. Wow, we just had Andy on the show not too long ago. Yeah. What's Andy Dick doing up there? He's part of that gang. They're all, they're like, come on.

Yeah, they're the new crack pack. Yeah. They're, uh, they all hang out and they, um, you know, they, they, you know, they, they, they are all at they're against the machine you know yeah and um but he's yeah he's definitely uh fun to fun to watch you know i'm really hoping that it stays the course that he you know stays crazy yeah um because it's to me it's it's it's must see tv i say they they get him right back on the air yeah you know and just call that show like like two and a half grams and i'm and Charlie Sheen, something like that.

Nice. Just Charlie. Just give them some drugs. Yeah. And film it. Yeah. Just give them a pile of drugs and let them go. Yeah.

It's great. I love the one word stuff too. I think it's catchy. Like winning. Winning. It's so quick. It's, you know, you can use it all over the, like I imagine he says, you know, like if he's sleeping, you know. And Charlie, you awake, sleeping, eating.

Yeah. Like it's all just nice and simple. I'm trying to adopt it into my life. So if somebody needs to know something, I'll just, if I can condense it down to one word like him, it's beautiful. Ask me something that would require more than one word. Do you have plans for this weekend?

Clubbing. You know, you know. That's good. That's like a game. Yeah, it's really fun. Wow, this is good. Are you good at any sports? balling oh sorry oh wow wait no wow wow i didn't know if we were still playing the game

yeah that's that might be terminology used at a men's club you know yeah um curling yeah that that's a bit better but they're all listen man you know and even um all these all these hollywood um stars are going off the deep end and what's her face who um what's her face christina agilwell area yeah christina agglaria yeah ariola areola yeah she what did she just get charged with with the drunken passengering i think she just got nailed for for being too drunk as a passenger yeah is that i don't even know is that new? Yeah, I don't know. That is weird. It seemed like

the cops were saying that she was so drunk they felt she couldn't even take care of herself. Right. So they thought we better, you know, take this person. But can you imagine that? You're like, that would be like, hey, you are too drunk

to be driven home. Boozing. You know? Drinking. Aguilera in. I imagine she had to watch. I mentioned they made her walk home. She's so drunk, she can't be driven home, and then she gets hit by a drunk driver on her way home.

That would be sweet irony. Yeah. Irony. Irony. Ironing. Splattering. Yeah, it needs ing. Yeah.

It has to have ing. I like Charlie. I think Charlie's got some of his words. Some of the, you know, what's amazing about Charlie is everyone's kind of picking on him. Yeah. But I actually find him to be very coherent and very quick. Like you ever notice in the interviews? It's like there's no delay.

The minute they ask him something, he's just like, boom, boom, boom, boom, he rifles off these crazy answers. And some of them have a lot of logic. I was talking about a topic the other day where they're going, well, what if you're bipolar? And he goes, ooh, what's that? Well, what should I do?

Take a pill, become like everybody else. Oh, is that the answer? Right. Like even though he's kind of crazy, in a way he's making a statement about today's society where that does seem to be the answer. Every time someone's a little opinionated or not with the norm, it's like, well, let's get that person on some medication quick.

Right. And I heard another opinion that's like that and that if this was a movie, none of this would come up. Just because it's on TV, you know, that they scrutinize him. Like, I mean, you can go shoot a movie and be and do whatever you want. Yeah. And they don't, you know, they don't stop the release of the movie. Right.

Yeah. So his point is, leave. me alone i show up to work yeah you know it's it's pretty it's pretty wild well look at heath ledger you know here's a guy was in a huge movie he was cranking up on pills and shows up dead yeah you know and that didn't kind of slow anything down no they kept shooting um well interesting it'll be interesting to see what happens with the guy will you be sad if he like odes and dies uh i don't know them. So, I mean, I guess I'll be sad in a way that I'm sad for when, like, you know, when they chop the trees down in the forests. Or like if I went to a play.

Oh, that would really make me sad. Yeah. So, yeah, in that sense, I'd be sad. Yeah. But in another sense, I think if you asked him, he'd go, if that's what's coming to me, then that's what's coming. Dying. Dying. Passing. Yeah, so he's, he doesn't care, you know. I like it. Funeral. Well, what do you think of those porn stars? I mean, you like the ladies.

Are you like a butt man or a boob man? What's your thingy? I think probably boobs. Okay. I like them. You do? I do. What's not to like, really?

I don't know. I can't find anything wrong with any boobs. There's a couple boobs that aren't as good as others. But for the most part, just the fact. The sheer fact that there are boobs, and they're unsheathed. Unsheathed? What, like knives? Yeah.

They're not that pointy. I just like them exposed. I like them out of the bra. Oh, you do? Yeah, of course. You want them roaming free. You want them to have room to graze. and I yeah man I I'll take them I'll take big ones yeah small ones yeah in fact I

probably prefer small boobs to big ones why goes against the grain I bet but yeah I don't know small ones seem they seem more manageable like they seem they just do their thing they sit on the chest yeah they not a whole lot of variance but the big ones can be kind of unruly I find you know like a little out of control yeah um you know i mean i've i've gone out with a couple girls one of them had really big boobs yeah and uh and yeah i mean something i don't something i don't recommend for girls with big boobs yeah is um lying naked sideways it just i don't know if you've ever seen that it's oh yeah i mean what what happens a change happens, a metamorphosis.

To the boob. To the whole look. When they're lying naked sideways, if you've seen it, I was dating a girl. I woke up in the morning. She was lying there naked sideways. And my God, I was like, what happened? The top boob, if you can picture this. Yeah, I can

picture it. The top boob takes the place of where the bottom boob used to be. Right. The bottom boob is now just splayed all over the bed, like a raw egg on a plate, you know? Just oozing. all over and I mean I just I screamed I was like hunt get up wake up I even said to her look unless you have that disease the elephant man had you have to start sleeping on your back right

you can't and but then I just dumped her I figured why bother you know I just I just picked up a small boobbed girl yeah and I never had to see that that bizarre mushy cyclops vibe ever again That would be horrible. It's kind of like you see a boob flayed out on the bed, and like the nipple would be the yoke. The nipples of the yoke. And the fleshy part is the egg white, all kind of spreading around the pan or the plate.

You ever like slap it around and try to scramble it? Yeah, I said to her, we should try scrambling your boobs and see if that firms them up. You ever had a firm egg? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you know what you should do is, You put chopped, chopped onions, chopped ham, chopped mushrooms, and chopped green peppers.

Lay it on the boob and then fold the boob over and have a tit omelet. A titi omelet. Yeah. That's a fantastic idea. And you know what you were right about that you aptly pointed out is that you fold? Yeah. You don't take a boob and flip it. You know, that's what people do improperly.

The way to do it is to fold it gently and fold the ingredients in. Sure, like an omelet. Yeah. Yeah. And then you get a fluffier, thicker, juicier boob. And then those ingredients will stay nice and packed in nicely. If it's folded right. God.

Yeah. And then so the other boob is like just kind of hanging. The top boob is hanging down sideways, like an other. Yeah. The top boob, the top boob for some, it's as if the top boob, it's got like a compensation factor. Like it knows what it needs to do. When the bottom boob does its thing and leaves the chest and moves onto the bed like it does, it's as if the top boob is like, whoa, where are you going?

And you're leaving your post, I'll take over, and then it just sort of slides down. And tries to cover the whole chest. Yeah. Oh, wow. So it's like a sideways boob. It's a sideways boob with the eye looking right at you from the center. God. And then you're looking around for the other one, which is now, you know.

It's like a gore. It's like a gourd. You ever seen those Halloween gourds? Absolutely. It's like a dangling gourd on it. Nope, I never have seen any of those. Yeah, you'll see them this year when I throw one through the living room window. What the hell is a gourd anyways?

It's a gourd. Can you eat them? A gourd? A gourd? I think it's a little pumpkin. Oh, it is? I think so. Kind of like a brussel sprout as a baby cabbage.

Is that like kind of like a. like a date, or a raisin is a baby date. Oh, yeah. Or Brussels sprout, that's one. Or a baby carrot is a baby carrot. Yeah, yeah, nice, nice. Good call, yeah. It's exactly the same, yeah.

Good discovery there. You said I was a well of information at the top. Yeah. And I think the girl from the ring lives down there, by the way. Speaking of food items, buddy, you know, I'm one of these guys that I like to go out and eat a lot. Like, you know, some people can stay home and cook and all that. But I love to go out. I love it when other people cook my food.

Do you go out to eat at all? Yeah. I love going to restaurants. I do. I go to, like, different kinds. I like different cuisines, right? I'm all, although I'm, like, weirded out by this new trend where they prepare food at the table. Oh, God, like, yeah, the, like the Japanese places or?

Japanese places, and you try, you pay extra, like that's a, yeah, even places like a Mexican restaurants. Yeah. They'll come and prepare the guacamole at the table. That's some kind of, uh, that adds to the, to the whole experience or something. Which, to me, that's crazy to pay more for... Have you ever had that happen where they carve up the... All guacamole is is a mashed-up avocado. Okay.

So, you know, I mean, if you put an avocado in front of a three-year-old, you're going to get guacamole, you know? You just pound it. Yeah, at both ends. At both ends. And, yeah, then they'll charge you for that. that's like a big you know and that's the thing is like the most expensive items on the menu are stuff you have to put your own labor into you know yeah right you ever get like lobster

they bring you the lobster and and like a like a channel locks and a grinder and you got to you got to like work all that out yeah right and i'm like i'm digging through the thing i'm i'm always like are any of the waiters like pre-med like how do you get the a or out of the thing yeah yeah how do you the aorta i meant to say yeah i know you i know you kind of said something out of the ariola yeah how do you get the ariola out of the lobster do lobsters have ariolas yeah and aorta they're right under the aorta the ariola what's the aorta it's uh it's that thing right above the uh ariola well what is it what it's what's its function that's the thing you know nobody really knows but it without the aorta

You just have a lobster with a giant ariola. And so it does give you the balance you need. Oh, God, they deserve to be boiled in that case. You ever seen a lobster lying sideways on the bed? With its claw hanging sideways? The top claw takes the position of where the bottom claw is. I feel like, yeah. And then the bottom claw is just snapping.

I feel like we covered that. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy.

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you know, you have to make your own food or they prepare it at the table? Yeah, I don't need that extra work. I mean, I'm paying. You ever had like peeling, shrimp yeah i hate that it's ridiculous 1299 for peeling each shrimp i'm i'm paying for it you you peel it fucker yeah thank you there you go that i don't want to start pulling at that greasy vein in the middle right no the poo vein yeah i know go do it in the back of the restaurant yeah

why are you paying to remove the uh the shrimp's turd pipe yeah right you know right i agree that's awful That kind of thing happens all the time. Food industry, there's no real, you know, there's no real sort of governing body telling us what's right and what's wrong, you know? There should be. Have you ever got like a raw weaner, like a raw hot dog and put it on your forehead and rolled it down your face? Like a garage door closing? I love that.

That's great. That's really fun. Yep. That is fun. No, you haven't. No, but I'd love to do that. That would be fun. Yeah.

Well, what else is going on, man? Have you any, you always have things like piss you off here. There's always like, I know you well. I've known Sean for like 20 years and there's always little things like stickers on food or telemarketers or people parking the wrong way. Yeah. What's up your craw this time? Actually, lately it is the telemarketing. Any phone service.

Anybody, any kind of being on the other end of the phone bothers me, you know? Yeah. And, you know, speaking of food, like ordering pizza. Yeah. You ever order pizza? Yeah. The people on the other end of that pizza order line just drive me bananas. Why?

I mean, they're just hardworking folks. You're all fired up, guy. All phone for pizza, and all they want to do is get the spelling of my name, like that matters. They're so keyed in on how you spell Sean. I mean, I'll be like, I'd like to order a pizza. Okay, what's your name? Sean. How do you spell that?

I'm like, S-E-A-N, S-S-H-H, what does this matter? Spell it, spell it D-A-V-E, I don't care. Just bring the pizza to my house. When it gets here, I'll pay for it. It doesn't matter what my name is. Yeah, right. You know, but they just need it. They need the spelling and the pizza places, they're the worst.

I mean, sometimes you'll order a pizza, and right at the end of the call, they'll throw you their little offers. They always have those specials. Yeah, yeah. They'll throw this in right at the end of the call. They'll be like, hey, by the way, do you want another one of those same pizzas? We're running a special, another one for $5. Yeah. I'm like, what?

I'm paying $2,350 for the first pizza. Yeah. They're going to offer me another one of the same one for $5. How does that work? How can they afford? How much markup is on the first one that they can give another one away for $5? I'm like, you know what? Yes, I'll take the special.

Cancel that first pizza. Give me the second one for $5. Nice. You stupid. Smart move. Yeah. Even, what is it? There's one right now.

That's a real smart move. I like that. Pizza Hut or pizza. Some of the pizza places have $10, any size, any toppings. That's the new thing right now. It's all over the commercials. Come on down to Pizza Hut. Get $10 pizza, any size, any toppings.

I'm like, I phone them up. I'm like, all right, so wait a minute. Any size pizza I can have for $10? Yeah. Yep, any size. I'm like, okay. Now, this is pizza we're talking about. The stuff that you could say, I don't know, maybe put in the fridge and eat the next day.

Yeah, it's that stuff. Okay, I'll take the small pizza. Yeah. I mean, I actually said to the guy, give me the phone number of the last idiot who ordered the $10 small pizza so that I can phone him up and explain. Explain the physics of refrigeration to this jackass. Because, I mean, who's ordering a small pepperoni? I would get the guy's address, and I would go to his house and throw the extra pieces from my extra large at his house, just like stoning a witch. It's like, you are an idiot and just throw pizza slices at him.

Yeah. Yeah, that is a good idea. I would throw a hot dog at him, and hopefully it smacks right onto his head and rolls. down yeah rolls down his face what is that what is that called when when you roll a raw weiner down the front of your face like a curt like a blind on a window yeah i think it's called uh winning oh weinering weinering weiner weiner we have a weiner um now what else is going on man this is fun yeah god you're always for a chalk full of uh chuckles um Fuck full.

Well, you know, I mean, you want me to stay on that phone thing? Because I got other people who are on the phone bother me. It's illegal now, isn't it, though, to have telemarketers call your house? Is it illegal? I had a guy the other day who called my house. And I goes, hey, Mr. Williams, this is so-and-so construction. And I go, you do know it is illegal to make unsolicited calls. And I could barely get out the last word, and he hung up.

Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know they passed any kind of. there is a law and you can actually you have to actually call there's a list you can get on right and there it's forbidden for them to phone they can be fined up to a hundred thousand dollars the no call list right yeah so there you go you should get on that and then maybe i would never have to call you again yeah it would be funny to try to get a hundred thousand dollars out of a telemarketer that would be great yeah wow you imagine that oh some guy tries to call to sell you a subscription into like National Geographic magazine and you walk away with a cool 100K? Yeah, because he's got that. If he's selling national geographic,

he's sitting on a pile of money. He's sitting on, he's sitting on monies from all over the world. He's sitting on yen's, roubles, Deutsche marks, and Dollars, Private Dancer. Yeah. Speaking of that, I mean, that's where the telemarketers are. They're all over the world. I phoned up to get some service on my computer.

Yeah. And the guy on the other hand, answers the phone he's like an African bushman wow I go can I talk to is one of your elders there because I can't seem to

anyone without a bone through their tongue I would like to talk to that guy and I'm like oh what what did you say control shift delete It is kind of a neat way to talk. Yeah. Let's do a bit of the rest of the interview like that.

They don't even do the grunting. They just... No, I feel like a couple of them will go... Really? Well, you... How would you know how all of them talk? Well, I saw that movie, the gods must be crazy. So, you know, you learn things from movies.

Right. Movies don't lie. That's true. What is you, have you been going to movies? Did you see all the Academy Award movies? I saw the King's speech. Can you imagine if he took a dump the same way? He took a stutter dump where the turtle had just kept popping in a,

going back up inside in and out he took him four hours to drop a loaf yeah you don't know that that doesn't happen maybe it does speaking of that you ever heard you remember that old song by Tina Turner yeah I love that one I'm your private dancer oh yeah that one and she goes Deutsch marks her dollars American Express will do nice see, thank you, and that she goes, ah. You know, she does that big sigh? Like she's... I always thought she was taking a loaf.

Your trams are dollars. American Express will do nicely thank you. Let me loosen up your collar. Tell me do you want to see me until they share me again? I don't know if you've ever done this bit on your show, so I'll be repeating something you've already said, but it's one of my favorite things that you went on stage when you went, you just got up on stage and you started singing Queen, you're singing Freddie Mercury songs, and you're like, you go up on stage and you go, you brought me fame and fortunate in everything that goes with it.

I thank you all. Remember that he used to be like, what an arrogant bastard. You brought, I thank you all. I used to love when you did that. As if people even gave me flowers, you know, you've paid in fortune. It's been no bed of roses, no pledger cruise. I consider it a challenge before all human race, but I'll never lose. So fall, fall, fall, fall, I've taken my bouts.

My curtain calls You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes I thank you all But it's been no bed of roses No pleasure cruise I consider it a challenge before all you might raise And I don't lose Oh, more, more, more,

Oh, good times. I've got to do that more, man. Yeah, that's funny. But, yeah, I saw the King's speech. What else did I see? Fighter. I didn't see the fighter. Because I feel like, you know, I get it that Christian Bale did a good job.

But I feel like I've seen the damn boxing movie with the guy who's from the poor end of town and has a crappy life and he's the underdog how many times have they made that movie including the seven Rocky movies Right

Like it's just been And then the wrestler And then the you know What's next? The grappler You know It's just like every guy That stepped in a ring as a movie

Where he grew up in the dumps Right But okay I agree I heard that same thing I didn't see it I heard that it's a lot like Rocky Yeah

But you know I'm a fan Give me any one of those formula movies Where just that A guy can't Works his way to the top Comes from nowhere And yeah I get it

We've seen it over and over But I think that's because it works over and over You know It works over and over But I just I get tired of it It's like I know how this ends I've seen it I know the problem is

They all have the same dramatic hiccups You know, it's like they go, they've got a little glory, they lose it, they come back, there's a love interest, they go. It doesn't even matter if they win or lose. It's just, it's all the same emotion, all the same beats. I get tired of it. It's like I've seen this. I bet you'd like a movie that where maybe like a really rich guy who's got everything.

Yeah. Right? At the beginning of the movie gets even more. And the movie ends with him having five times more. than he had at the beginning of the movie. Yeah. And then the credits roll. Citizen Kane.

Is that what my favorite movies? Yeah? Yep. He had a little red sled or something? He had a little sled named Rosebud. Rosebud? Yeah. Great movie, man.

And that's the movie. It just gets richer. He just gets richer and more powerful, and that's the tragedy of the movie. He just keeps growing and growing. He comes from a very impoverished beginning. It's a little boy, and he works his way up, becomes a newspaper magnet. And just, boom. He dies super rich and lonely in his palace.

Well, I tried to, so I tried to throw a burn in your face. Yeah, it didn't work. You attacked me back with one of the most, the greatest cinematic film. Masterpieces of all time. Yeah. So that burn failed. That's amazing. But you got me earlier with the whole shoot me in the head with Lincoln's Assassin's Bullet earlier.

I love that. I'd go back to that. That's a winner. Yeah. You got that. Yeah. But you didn't get the other thing. And then I saw the social network, which I find interesting.

What really is interesting to me is the ramifications that that thing is having now, that that little website that that guy developed to pick up girls is now changing the course of human history. Can you believe it? It's like the ripple effect it's having through the Mideast. And now I saw a thing on the news today that China's shutting down, locking down. all their internet and they're getting extra tense because they're worried that that rumbling's going to start going through their communist country yeah and yeah absolutely and they can't shut it off though it's on everybody's cell phone you can you can access pretty much anything

and i don't you wouldn't you just turn back time and not have all that have happened i know you're going to say no that you'd love it all but um i don't think it's good i don't i mean now you've brought everyone else in the world into this place where you're gathering and giving off information and changing the course of them from from from zero to 60 right so nothing in between from we were walking around without without social media social networking yeah to boom now we're texting next to our gourds on the street while we're selling you know it wrapped up in clothing I mean, it's danger all over the place. Yeah, it's interesting, but you're also forgetting that those other people,

those other civilizations were denied what we've had all these years. How so? How were they denied Eisenberg's little dream of meat and chicks at Harvard? How are they denied that in New Delhi? Well, I mean, you just have to go into a typical home in one of those impoverished countries, and you'll see that a lot of them don't even have. have electricity or running water. So they haven't been accustomed to all the luxuries that we have.

So to put a cell phone into a guy's hand and empower him and give him all that technology and all that stuff in the palm of his hand after living in a clay house with a mat on the floor and he sends his kids to go gather the water and they live by candlelight, that's quite a powerful leap. yeah okay well that's the point i'm making it's too powerful elite oh it's too powerful well i know where you come from you're like no that's great put the technology into their hands and look you know they i'm saying that i bet if if people could they would love to turn back time and slow that down and and either find a way to have integrated it in a in a more paced out way to the rest of the world

because all it's going to do is breed sort of a crazy knee-jerk reaction to everything, which is what's gone on. I mean, they're all right now going, oh, my God. Like, check out this video on YouTube. It's our neighbors, all free now. Let's do that. Yeah. So they're going to, they're going to usurp the government that's there now and put in what?

They have nothing to put in there other than just more of that same government. They can't just suddenly become a democracy. No, it's going to take layers and decades and generations, maybe centuries, but it has to start somewhere. And what is not governed the most right now? We've talked about this before. The Internet. There is no government on that Internet.

Right. So it's the thing that has propelled all this chaos. Sure. You brought it up. Yeah, I did bring it up. And it's the one thing that is not governed. So when you said, or like when you think, say, well, well, it was bound to happen or it's all natural or the guy in the hut ought to have that

powerful thing. Sure. Well, there's, there's been no real thought put into it, is there? There's no, nobody has put any restrictions on this information that goes out. Right. And so, so is it a good thing? We don't know yet, do we? Because there's been no.

I, I, I subscribe to your theory about if you could turn back time. And I like what you're saying. There's a good sentiment there. And I play into that theory if we're still. a universe or a planet, I should say, that only has about, you know, three, four million people living on it or even, you know, a hundred million people or something. But the fact that we're up into the six billion range now, it's no longer feasible for the human race to move forward at such a mass quantity, because we're just consuming, we're absorbing,

we're ravishing the planet. And unless there's some kind of uniform organization and all these countries kind of begin to pool together and become communal, everything's just going to get ravaged. And soon it'll be, it'll turn into that thing where one country completely ravages its own country and goes, we don't have anything left.

Let's go pill for that country. And it's just going to, you know, so the human race almost has to work together as one unified force. in order to succeed, I feel. And it's thoughts and opinions like that that wouldn't have come about had you been shot in the head

at that playhouse instead of our great Abraham Lincoln. Now I've got to listen to your spewing nonsense about radishes. So let's go back to this. Can you imagine that's your phone message? Yeah. Please leave a message for...

That'd be a good ringtone, though. It would. Oh, um, gala's on the phone. Um, well, gosh, man, I guess on that note, you know, we went from kind of talking about tit omelets. Yeah. And we got into like the state of affairs in the world. We just kind of ran the gamut there.

Yeah, I'm full. Yeah, that was, uh, quite the discussion, man. I'm spent. Yeah, you've got a nice little setup here. It's fun to sit and talk. Yeah, it is really fun to sit and talk. And I like it when you just sit there and listen to me. That's fun.

You like that, do you know? That's tough. Yeah, that is. It's probably tough, but. But I, you know. What are those your hand? I mean, play tickets? Yeah.

To what are you going to see? I'm not going to see anything. Oh, they're for you. They're balcony seats. Fantastic play. It's got five stars. Oh, thank you. Just enjoy yourself.

Les Miz. Yep. Balcony seats. Why would you do just out of the blue, you're giving me free tickets to a play? Yeah, I just think it's the kind of thing that you'll enjoy and I wanted to give something back to you and all your listeners. Who will be thankful. Wow. Well, awesome, buddy.

Let's plug your website and your CD one more time. What are they? My website is shan-tweedley.com, S-E-N-T-W-E-E-E-E-D. D-L-E-Y-Y dot com. You don't have to spell it. You're not ordering a pizza. Oh, yeah. Wow.

And then my CD, which you helped me name, is called You Got Both Your Balls Brough. There you go. Check out Sean's website. Please purchase his CD. It is hilarious. And great to have you up here, buddy. And we'll have you back here real soon. My guest, Sean Tweedley, here on the Harland Highway.

And until next time, chicken. Chalmayne, baby. There, we're done. Did you want to say any? Well, you kind of like, what am I going to say after that? Well, you can't say anything. I just ended it. You could try and burn me now, but nobody's going to hear it.

Okay. Try and burn. How long would you just roll out of bed? Ended. Thank you.