The Harland Highway - PODCAST 312
Episode Date: August 26, 2011Comedian Justin Ian Daniels drops by for a visit! Crinkle my crackle!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more a...bout your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to the Harland Highway.
You fellas been doing a bit of booze and have you? Sucking back on Grandpa's old cough medicine.
There's an element of uncontrolled chaos.
The Harland Highway.
Serving everyone from presidents and kings to the scum of the earth.
What a treat.
Oh, wait, was you great big fat person?
You just made a wrong turn.
On to the Harland Highway.
You need many years of therapy.
Hey, Harlan, it's Stephanie from Bedford. Just do me.
You might want to think twice before sticking your penis in there.
Just do me.
You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harlan Williams.
Ding dong, the witch is dead.
The wicked witch.
The witch is dead.
I don't know why I started with that.
there's no death in this studio tonight i'll tell you that uh this studio be full of life man
full of jamaican life and i'll tell you why i remember i used to have trouble saying his name
well now and no word of a lie i don't even know his name so i'll go to his his old name because
i think he changed his name but one of the harland highway all-time favorites is here with us
tonight in studio for the whole show not just part of it
The whole show, Justin Schlegel is back, but he has changed his name.
So let me just say, welcome, Justin. Dot, dot, dot, dot.
And for the first time since changing my name officially, you just said it perfect.
I know.
I changed my life to suit your verbal shortcomings, and you finally get it right, finally.
My master plan is complete, Optimus Prime.
I have changed my name to John.
Johnny Stonehenge. That's not true. It's Maya Angelou now. That's not true either. It's the rolling bones. That's not true. Finally, queef jerky. That one isn't either accurate. It's Justin Ian Daniels.
Justin Ian. Now, do you have to say all three? Or do you just say? Or don't address me.
Really? Justin Ian Daniels. That's very noble. That's like a noble name.
Have you been knighted?
I have eaten at a white castle.
Good enough. You're a knight.
As far as I'm concerned, you are a knight.
Justin, Lord Justin Ian Daniels will have the double cheeseburger
and the crunchy curly fries, please.
Bring me a Korean runaway, bathe her,
and leave her in my chambers with fresh fruit and a marmoset.
I shall watch them do battle.
Yes, I have no pants on.
Yes, my lord.
Yes, my liege.
Be swift about it, young Harlan.
The forest.
is a riff with various creatures and bandits knocking at the castle gates.
I've yet to see that mama set in bringing young Sue, young puck.
She doesn't know who her parents are.
She live here until her dying day.
Again, no pants on.
Wow, not only a new name, a new attitude.
Now, what's going on, man?
And that's true.
I always had trouble saying your name.
So many people did, which is why.
So you've, this isn't even a joke.
This is really, truly, officially changed your name.
I looked it up on SAG, on AFRA.
There was no Justinian.
These are actors' unions, by the way.
Sag and AFRA are not clowns he keeps in the back of his car.
No, SAG is actually the state of my mother's disgusting boobs.
Wow.
After is my father's nickname for his butt cheeks.
Wow.
Saggy wrinkled me.
Yeah.
Yeah, old Justin Stonehenge butt cheek brisket.
I changed it to Ian Daniels.
Daniels is my middle name.
So I didn't want to do anything super corny.
Okay.
Like, I mean, I met a dude around here whose name is, I kid you not, a comedian, Chet Lightning.
Wow.
I'm not kidding.
Look up Chet Lightning on Facebook.
He looks like a Chet Lightning.
And like his real name, he said was like Curtis Shlamsky.
And he changed it to do Chet Lightning.
And he's- I like it.
It's awkward.
I like it.
Change a name, but keep it like it could be an actual name.
And I tried to encourage you to go with something like that.
Oh, you wanted something wackadoo.
Tell him what you wanted him.
I was going to offer him a free rib dinner at Red Lobster,
even though they don't serve ribs, if he named himself Bingo McGee.
He was hellbent for weeks because you helped me with this decision.
This wasn't like an overnight thing.
This was something I've mulled for a while, a better part of a year and a half.
and you know i i i ask you quite often with some large comedy and or life and or bowel movement
decisions you've yet to steer me wrong yeah and you're like yes i believe schlegel your original
name it's difficult to say spell and remember how about you change it what do you think
and i gave you some suggestions hated all of them yeah you throw out how about this and you get
heart attack serious and i wait for this masterpiece to cross those pink bubble
on lips of yours. Bingo McGee. And my thumb hovered over the end key on my phone. I couldn't believe
you're serious. And then every time we talk, is it bingo yet? I'm telling you, man. Mr. McGee.
No one will ever forget the name Bingo McGee. Bingo McGee is a kid with a small rubber helmet
who has someone lead him around to his next arts and crafts corner. That's a kid that huff's
turpentine loves the taste of a good creola.
It is going to hump an ottoman.
An ottoman?
An ottoman.
Are those little brown things that slide down in the snow on their bellies?
Nope.
That was the Cosby kids.
But the Ottoman, yeah.
So I went with Justinie and Daniels.
Much easier to say.
Wow, good for you, man.
Can I tell you the day that it was the straw that broke the camel's back?
Yeah, yeah.
Today's the day.
I had an audition for something.
Yeah.
And I had to go into the building.
and they butchered my whole name.
It wasn't just like, they didn't just get Justin Schlegel.
It was like Jason Schmigel or something.
Yeah, right.
1145.
I'm the only person in there.
I had an appointment.
Oh, no.
The lady would not let me up.
She wouldn't let me go upstairs.
I'm like, this is me.
There's my ID.
You can see where the mix-up was.
Wow.
That's not your name.
I need a Jason Smigel.
You ain't going up to talk to the people.
Wow.
I have my manager call you.
I promise, this is me.
If I see a Jason Smigel, he goes up.
You just.
you ain't going up
I didn't make it
and I got furious
they were where were you
you had 1145 I'm like
Bertha down here
with her one good eye
and creepy sausage fingers
yeah tiny non-existent neck
wouldn't let me upstairs
wow that's done for us
yeah good for you
finished done with it
and you know people who listen to the
Harlan Highway here I it was
legitimate when I couldn't say your name
properly the first three four times
you're on
I believe me
It was embarrassing for me, and, you know, that was all real.
So now you've got a new name, Justin Ian Daniels.
And my, Ian, by the way, is my brother's middle name.
Okay.
So I took actual family names to keep it somewhat genuine.
And I could never get mad at you.
We would joke, but I could never actually get bummed that you couldn't pronounce my name
because 90% of people I talk to never could.
Yeah, it's an odd one.
I would tell MCs during shows that would bring me up.
Like, it's Schlegel like bagel.
Schlegel like bagel.
Yeah, that's what you would tell me.
Tell you.
I actually thought that right now when I introduced you at the beginning.
I thought bagel.
Beagle.
You had told me that.
But you don't want to be doing that.
Like, if you meet the queen, yes, your majesty, I'm Schlegel like bagel.
Schlegel like bagel, your love.
Thank you very good.
I give you, Sir Justin Schlai.
I said it wrong, didn't I?
Yeah, she goes, I give you, Sir Justin Schlegel like bagel.
Slagel, as in a bagel.
You're not supposed to say all of it, don't your majesty?
Just the...
Slagel-like bagel.
Do you not question me in my decades of inbreed.
Off with his heads.
I mean head.
All right, so you're here.
Justity and Daniels, get used to it people, or go eat a rubber hose, is the saying.
Suckle a frog's nipple.
Yeah, suckle some amphibian nipple ariolai.
Suckle a light socket in front of...
a loved one. Oh, go to a lighting store with a loved one, plug them in, and suckle their
electrified particles. The game set match on that one. I almost said pottercules, and I go,
that's not a word. That's not a word. Um, so let's talk. When you came in here, you were a little bit
fired up about something. I wouldn't let you tell me what it was. You were, you were a little
flummoxed. You were a little agitated. Something happened.
Let's hear it. Let's see if we can work through it.
I want your thoughts on something.
Okay.
My Twitter I've brought up, you let me promote it.
Yeah, go ahead.
At Funny Justin.
Say it again.
Funny Justin on Twitter.
At Funny Justin.
There it is.
Now, earlier today, I'm a fan of Louis CK.
Right on.
You show Louis on FX is great.
By the way, if you love him, you're going to love his brother, Casey, and the Sunshine
band.
Good people.
Yeah.
So what happened?
So the thing is, is,
earlier today, I'm in a midday comedy showcase. I'm talking to this young comic. I'm a young
comic. I'm only seven, eight years in. But there's brand new guys, like a year, year and a half.
Yeah, yeah. And he was talking about Louis on FX. And now it's just the most genius thing ever.
Louis C.K. is a god amongst men second only to Pryor and Carlin. And I love, I love Louis C.K. I do.
Yeah. And then he was talking about the show. And I was like, well, what's your favorite one?
He had yet to see any of them.
He had them all DVR.
And I kind of scratched my head.
I was like, okay, well, I will say his last comedy special was great.
His airplane chair and the sky bit was wonderful.
Oh, I didn't see it.
I've seen like a snippet here or there.
And then I kind of got a little, like, weirded out that this guy was singing his praises
mixed in the company of other comics.
And then afterwards, he begins to immediately badmouthed.
Dane Cook, out of nowhere, wasn't solicited, wasn't, no one brought it up.
Yeah.
And, you know, those two have a little bit of history.
I won't get into it.
If you know it, you know it, you don't, you don't.
But what got under my skin, and I tweeted about this, and this is the tweet, and it's a little vulgar, if you don't mind me saying.
No, let it rip, man.
We can handle it.
I love Louis C.K., but it's got to be so hard with him going about his daily business with so many comedians' mouths hot glue gun to his dick.
And the reason- Meaning.
Meaning so many people, young comics, are all over Louis C.K.
Is this modern god.
And he's a great comic.
And he is.
He's one of the best in the world.
But what I have the issue with, it's not the comics liking him.
It's that they, it's the young comic mantra now.
Louis C.K. is the best in the world.
Screw Dane Cook.
Louis's one end of the spectrum of genius.
Dane Cook is the bastard is the villain.
And it's almost, I'm, I'm,
I'm not kidding when I say in the young comedy community.
It's almost a chanted mantra.
This is not the first kid I've heard say this.
Louis Genius, Louis Genius, Louis Genius, Louis Genius.
Dan Cook sucks, Dan Cook sucks, Dan Cook sucks.
And they say it when I truly believe is a selfish reason as if to say, hey, look, I am a valid person in comic.
I'm a valid comic.
I'm a real comic because I like Louis C.K.
And Dan Cook is a douche.
He sucks.
Right.
And he's not.
I've met him.
You introduced me to him.
Yeah.
He is a good guy.
He is a good comic and he is a good person.
99.9% of people that have this opinion of him
is because of hearsay
and is because of other people giving them that opinion.
In a comedy community where there is such a level of creativity,
it's, I'm almost ashamed to see such a lack of original opinion in people.
It's such an assigned opinion.
Yeah, it's a pack mentality.
It's very packish.
And if you want to feel,
like you are amongst the cool kid crew.
You're at the big lunch table in high school of comedy.
Louis's the best.
Let me sing it to the heavens.
And I have to reiterate this again.
He is.
Dane Cook is the bastard, the bastard.
He is absolutely not.
Dane Cook is a fine person and a fine comic.
And when I wrote that tweet, I got blasted by people.
Is that right?
Are you scumbag?
Louie is the best.
Oh, I'm sorry.
But what, do people not worship you?
They completely took it the wrong way.
Like, I was bashing Louis C.K.
They missed the point that I was getting on comics for this predetermined,
almost assigned opinion.
Right, yeah.
No, you guys, you're idiots.
You're missing the point.
It's nothing to do with Louis.
Yeah.
It's to do with you and your selfish proclamations of these two stances.
Right.
It's an idiotic thing.
And did you, recently, did you see the episode of Louis where they had Louis C.K.
and Dane Cook were in the same
scene and they both addressed
the happening
of when Dane Cook was alleged to have stolen
his material. No, I've never seen the show. It is some
of the most riveting
8 to 10 minutes of television you've ever seen.
It does not look scripted.
Dane genuinely
gets into Louis. Like, why did you
never come to my defense? And if I did do that,
it was not intentional. I never did that.
Right. I mean, I have to show it to you.
And if you're, you know, if you guys are listening,
search it out. I think it's on Hulu or
watching on demand.
Yeah.
The episode of Louis C.K. and Dane Cook having the, finally, after years, it's been 2006 since
Retaliation came out, which was Dane Cook's album.
Yeah.
And it had the tracks on there, the people alleged that he stole from Louis.
Right.
He's never stolen before.
He's never stolen since.
The guy's got hours of material.
Dane didn't steal a damn thing.
He didn't steal anything.
He's constantly on.
I've seen him at the laugh factory.
I've seen him at the store.
He's up working constantly.
Right.
And they address it.
And they try and scorn.
squash it and you hear on screen the genuine pain in Dane Cook's voice and heart that 2006
was supposed to be my year. I had a double platinum album. I had two movies coming out and I got
to enjoy it for two months and ever since then I've become the villain. I and you what it was
is it's he was upset with Louis that he never came to his defense. He never said anything and
Louis explained his side of it well like well the bits kind of were similar and then Dane makes
his argument. I write constantly
and I'm up constantly. Why would I've ever
stolen just once out of nowhere?
Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous.
Comics come up with similar
premises all the time. Parallel thinking.
Of course. And I don't even know what the bit is
and I can already say that without
knowing what the bit is. I know Dane
personally. I know Louie personally.
I've worked on the same stage with them
many times. I'm
friends with them. And
neither of those guys,
are hacky enough to take
each other's material. It just would
never happen. They're both very creative.
They're comedians.
And, you know,
it's all propaganda
and it's all a bunch of hoopla
generated by lesser
comedians that have nothing better
to do than to create
and stir up drama. Exactly.
And it's a shame that
he has been vilified,
that Dane has been vilified
the way that he has. It is.
I am constantly defending Dane, and I think it's ridiculous.
And the problem is, let me try to break it down.
A lot of the problem with Dane is a jealousy factor.
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Don't throw your back out.
This is a true story.
It happened right here in my town.
One night, 17 kids woke up, got out of bed,
looked into the dark, and they never came back.
I'm the director of Barbarian.
A lot of people die in a lot of weird ways.
You're not going to find it in the news because the police covered everything all up.
On August days.
This is where the story really starts.
Weapons.
very much so because it happened i mean he worked for you know two decades to get to where he was
but that in the public's eye that's the success was sudden and massive well the thing with dane
too is dane brought to the party an aspect he brought a variable to the stand-up party that
not many stand-up comedians can achieve but probably secretly want to and that aspect is rock and roll
Dane brought kind of the rock and roll edge to stand-up comedy,
which is tough to do,
and many comics probably fancy themselves that cool and that slick
and maybe that's sexy if that's how you see him.
And most comics, no matter what they do,
it's hard to get around the stigma of being a guy on the stage,
being goofy and telling jokes.
And Dane was able to cross that bridge,
and I think that helped with his success.
and I think a lot of comics wish they could be there,
and I've seen it.
I've seen it for the last number of years,
the jealousy and the cat calls,
and it's stupid.
And, you know, just going back to your earlier point,
there is no best comic.
There is no the greatest comic in the world.
Comedy is, if you ever go into an art gallery,
you'll see a Dali hanging next to a Degas,
hanging next to a Picasso, and on and on and on.
and comedians are pieces of art.
They're all different brush strokes.
They're all different styles.
And I'll tell you what,
I've seen guys like Steve Martin
and, you know, people at the top of their game
that have made me laugh.
And I've seen kids on amateur night
knock my socks off and make me laugh.
It's all subjective.
It's all a matter of taste
and all that stuff that people are tweeting you
and argue it's just petty it's
petty it's stupid it's a waste of time
it is comedy isn't supposed
to be filled with anger and
debating and name calling
these guys are working hard
to bring you a product to make
you laugh and leave it there
you don't need to get involved in their
squabbles or their personal life or
make up stuff about them
so there you go
honestly I couldn't put it any better
and anybody that's
that's venting on you
tweeting to you about two other guys and you're not even one of the guys it it's you know these are
the types of tweets I would ignore and I would just pay attention to the ones where people
tweet you and say something that uh you know what was interesting is worth talking about the tweet
was picked up by two uh major comedy websites and they retweeted it and their followers got on
and as I said it was a massive misunderstanding of what my point was and I did go
on in subsequent tweets and explain, no, here was what I was saying, not Louis, but I'm
saddened to see this pervasive opinion with no backup. If you ask those people that are so
vilified against Dane Coombe, why do you hate him? And they can't form a cohesive thought
as to why they just know, oh, in the company of my generation of comics, I'm supposed to.
That makes me valid. No, it makes you an ass, for one, a sheep.
two, and three, the worst thing you could be, completely unoriginal.
Yeah.
I mean, I have my, you know who my comedic idol is?
And I tell anybody around here, 80% of people in my generation will know who they are.
Yeah.
And the other 20 will scratch their head, Jim Barney.
Oh, the Ernest.
Ernest, Guy's hilarious.
And for some reason has been forgotten in the comedic mindset and zeitgeist.
I dare you to go back and watch an Ernest film.
not laugh hysterically.
If you are, you're effing dead inside.
Yeah, I don't know that I've seen a full movie, but I like the guy's energy.
I like his goofiness.
He had so many characters beyond that Ernest character.
He was Jim Carrey before Jim Carrey.
I mean, his character work, and people seem to remember, you know, Ernest was the big popular
one, obviously.
That made up his body of work in the public eye.
Yeah.
In each of those films that he did, Ernest goes to camp, Ernest goes to school,
Ernest does this or that.
Ernest does a poopie.
Ernest goes to the outhouse and waits for that guy to meet him from Craigslist.
He played like nine or ten characters per film.
And some of them were just, I mean, mind-blowingly funny.
But I tell that now, people look at me in my generation of comics.
Like, I have autism.
And it's like, oh, it's supposed to be Mitch Headberg, Louis C.K.
And Chris Rock.
Those are the things I'm supposed to.
to say in my scene, but I'll be
dead honest with you. It's Brian
Regan, Monty Python
and Jim Barney. Good.
Are mine. Those are yours.
Those are mine. And you shouldn't
have to backpedal or
feel
weird about it. Weird about it.
I don't feel weird,
but I have people make me
feel weird when I, because I'm opinionated
and I'll let them know, and I'm this
weird, like, outlier, because I'm still very
social and integrate myself into the, you know,
new LA comedy scene but it's weird to hear how uncreative a creative group of people are well you know
what's funny is you can sit here and say that you'll get flack from people about your three choices
and then mark my words one day Justin is going to pop as he said he's kind of new in the game
eight years isn't a long time in the stand-up world but one day your star will rise higher and
hire and everyone will know your name names and people will look back and hear your three choices
and go oh how hip how hip that justin uh ian daniels loves jim varney that is so cool you know i love
jim varney too that's that's how shallow it all is then the cycle begins again yeah and and you know
ten years from now when you're known everywhere that you know people will think it's so cool that
You love Jim Barney, you know.
It's just so.
You can't get it.
You can't get on top of it.
So the answer is just to carry on, be yourself, and don't say bad things about people.
I actually had it firsthand with Dane Cook once.
I went and did a guy's radio show, a very prominent comedian, and he actually has a big podcast right now.
I'll say his name because it's a true story, a guy named Mark Merritt, who I actually
really love I've worked with him he's a he's a buddy I think he's super funny that's it's it's so
funny you say because I know I want you to tell this story yeah that is another guy in my generation
of people that are head over heels for his podcast is great yeah he's always been funny but up
until that podcast he was struggling he just yeah right has popped him but you ask my
generation of people now yeah they'll swear they've been following for a decade
And I'm like, no, the fuck you haven't.
This guy was performing at Johnny Seltzer's Chuckle Kingdom in Moncton, South Dakota, for $800 for nine shows, struggling in a Super 8 motel four years ago, and you didn't catch a sniff of him.
But now that he has a podcast that you hope to one day be on, oh, you'll sing its effing praises to the stars.
It's this selfish opinion that drives me nuts.
And the guy bless him for now finding his success because he is a great.
great comic he's an amazing interviewer yeah he's really funny he did that he did a great speech
just for laughs this year he gave the keynote oh is that right kindler gave him the introduction
he gave one of the most heartfelt speeches about i i my manager said i can't book you mark
you on bookable and then the podcast came out he popped and found himself where he is now but
it's just so annoying to see these people in my generation level of oh yeah we have i've been oh
Maron's been one of the greats,
oh, shut the fuck up.
You know he hasn't been.
Right, right.
He hasn't been at all to you.
He has a vehicle that you now hope to one day
jump in the passenger seat on and get your voice heard.
Yeah.
That's what you hope.
You're doing it for you.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't tell me you're all crazy and it was comedy.
Name two jokes it is.
Oh, you can't because you probably haven't even heard any of a standout.
And it's annoying itself.
But I got sidetracked.
You went on there once and that.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
discussion came up yeah yeah i i uh i got on his radio show and this was a number of years ago
uh he was doing his own radio show and uh i went on because uh i'm his friend and uh we
we like each other and we've had some great times we've actually uh worked in uh in different
parts of the world together and and so i got on the show we're having a great interview and
all of a sudden uh he starts ragging on dane cook and i i i was like uh mark you know come
mom man dan's a buddy uh you know why why you're ragging on the guy and and mark was kind of like
well the guy you should see him live he has no punch lines and he just rambles on and blah blah on
and i could tell he was just kind of you know spewing some negativity and so i called him out
and i said i said mark have you ever seen dane cook live have you ever seen him perform with
your own eyes he goes no and i go mark stop ragging on the guy you know and you
Yeah, Mark's a smart, intelligent guy, and, you know, he's a bit, Mark is the first guy to admit it, he's insecure, he's competitive, and that's all part of his schick, that's part of what he reveals to people, and, you know, him ragging on Dane was part of that, but at the same time, it was real and it was tangible, and I didn't like it, and I told him, and, you know, it didn't damage anything between me and Mark, but it just echoed, um,
The feeling, the sentiment that was going around about Dane Cook,
and it's not warranted.
I've always said this Dane worked super hard.
He's super creative.
He's one of the few comics out there that every time you see him,
he will have 10, 15 minutes of new material.
He just keeps going and going.
It's not easy to do, and good for him.
But what a burden on him now to have.
Imagine having grabbed that brass ring.
Like you said, the rock star comic, not achieved, dare I say, since the days of Pryor.
Maybe even Eddie Murphy.
I don't even think Pryor had the rock star.
I think Pryor was kind of, he was kind of like the shocking African-American guy that came out of his outspoken.
He was funny.
But I don't think anyone would, you know, call him like rock star-ish.
Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy was closest, yeah.
The purple suit, the leather.
I'd say not since then.
Yeah.
Did he get that?
And Dice Clay maybe a little bit.
but not on not on quite such a mega level dice did come close dice came close but on a
cartoony level it was almost too much of a character as like a real kind of like a grunge guy like
a guy from the neighborhood who was you know kind of sexy and rock and roll and you know he pulled
it off but anyways keep going imagine to have gotten that yeah he hits it double platinum comedy
album first one in like 30 years or something that broke the billboard and to get that and to be like
my god i've broken through which should benefit all of us okay a rising tide raises
sure ships is a mentality i have and to have that snatched from him so quickly and then over the
next five years to become to become a punchline himself to become a villain i mean i i'm having
trouble because i got 15 nasty tweets from people today imagine the burden that he has to bear
emotionally and intellectually
and even artistically
as a performer
to think that there is
a generation and a half of people
that despise me
and I've never met
99.9% of them
I think that that pocket of people
is smaller than you think.
I think it's comedy nerds.
I think it's amateur comics.
I think it's jealous comics.
I don't know, man.
He catches it in mainstream a lot.
He catches it in Rolling Stone.
I've seen it in Newsweek.
It's become
There's such, you know, have you heard of such a thing as an internet meme?
No.
A meme is, like when the double rainbow guy came out of the, like something that gets said so intensely.
Like, it becomes viral type of thing?
Yeah, a meme is just something that just gets, I think it's sort of like memory or something.
Okay.
But he sounds a lot like mean.
Might as well be.
Yeah, mean.
He got caught into that and the man can't shake it.
He even did that, he even did a special, vicious.
cycle where he tried to address it in a very small non um what was the big one he think he did
the orgasm special yeah round state or yeah yeah yeah he tried to do the opposite of that to please
the comedy nerds and the geeks look i'm in a small intimate setting yeah and and still can't win
like it's it's it i i mean it from the bottom of my heart it's time for that shit to stop
The guy is a good person.
If he did allegedly do whatever people accuse him up,
it was one effing hiccup, okay?
I mean, honestly.
I'll say it right now.
It's not even a hiccup.
It never happened.
It's Dane's not that type of guy.
And, you know, like I said, comics cross topics all the time.
And let me tell you something else that happens with comics.
Sometimes comics, when they watch each other,
because inevitably we end up at the same festivals, the same clubs.
And what happens is, and this is true, you could watch a comic
and something he says a bit or a piece could subliminally just stay stuck in your head.
Yeah, it gets cute up in the recesses.
You watch so much stuff.
You don't remember who said it.
You don't remember that you ever heard it.
You don't remember what it was.
And then one night you're laying in bed and you go, oh, my God.
what if giraffes were short oh my god i just thought of that and you forget that maybe three
weeks ago you heard someone say it and so it's perfectly innocent and you do a bit and then boom
that that happens rarely but it it can happen and i'm sure it's happened to every single stand-up
comedian i had that happen to me yeah 100% i had a comic email me and said hey i saw something
online you did a bit that was very similar to mine remember you and i worked together
two and a half years ago in Jersey.
And I'm like, you're right?
Yeah, it can happen.
My brain queued that up.
Absolutely.
It popped it out.
Yeah.
And then you also have the concept parallel thinking where, I mean, how many people, when
Terry Shivo was hooked up to all those tubes and stuff like that, how many comics wrote the line,
man, that's the first time a husband has ever asked someone to take something out of his wife's mouth.
Hey, ho.
Hello.
When they pulled the tube.
Yeah.
And it's like, you know what?
It's a parallel thought is all it is.
That's all it is, and it's completely, in fact, I'm surprised it doesn't happen more.
I think comics are so conscious of it.
But again, Dane Cook is prolific.
He's always creating.
He's always, I mean, I would challenge anyone listening right now to go to a show in October
and then go watch him again in November, and I'll bet you maybe 30, if not 50% of what he's doing is completely new.
Yeah, and good.
And good.
And even if you don't find a genius, I promise you it'll be probably 20% better than any other comic up and coming or on amateur night or even a season comic could pull off.
The guys got the goods.
I promise you from this interview, I kid you not, because a lot of comics love the Harlan Highway.
I have compliments from all the time after I do this podcast.
Just the fact that we are here right now having this outside of the norm discussion about this.
You are going to get emails.
I shit you not.
I couldn't give a crap.
I know.
You don't care.
And I don't care.
It's just it's, they are going to prove the points that I have made tonight themselves unwittingly by coming by responding.
Oh, how could you defend that do?
She's a, and like you never met him.
You have probably never seen him.
Well, they don't know him the way I know them.
They, they haven't spent time with him.
They haven't watched him struggle for 10 years.
They haven't watched how prolific he is.
It was great seeing you two together at the laugh factory, the first night.
You took me there getting this running, running to him upstairs,
first time I never got to meet him.
Yeah.
And you guys were just like old running buddies.
Yeah.
Couldn't have been nicer to me.
Immediately reaches out for a handshake, asks where I'm from.
Am I going to get up tonight?
Yeah.
Hey, I'm about to go up.
Sure.
Can you watch?
Tell me what you think.
Yeah.
And there's no one around with cameras or anything for him to have to act like that.
No.
He wasn't putting on a face.
No.
No.
Dane is an intense guy.
He can be edgy sometimes, but he's,
He's a good guy.
He's a good talented comic.
He's actually been a guest on the Harlan Highway here many times.
If you want to hear Dane, just go back through the archives,
and you'll find, I think there's three or four visits that Dane made to the highway here.
You got to bring him on again soon.
Yeah, I'm going to get him on here soon.
Maybe I'll get him on to talk about this stuff.
That could be fun.
Get him on to talk about it.
Just to finally just turn the effing page on this and let this guy get on with what should be.
Well, the page is turned because to me it's all just a bunch of.
of nonsensical hoopla at the end of the day you look at what they do what they're capable of
and if people are complaining and whining over dane cook doing a crossover bit of louis cks or
whoever in a career that has spent 20 years and dane has written 300 hours of material as has
louis if there's one crossover bit well whoopty do let's stop the world and pull the plug and
watch the thing float off into the sea.
It's just ridiculous.
How about instead of bitching about that, the time you spend flipping out online and writing
blogs and pitching a bitch to other comics, I bet you crack open a joke book and grab your
pen.
How about you do that instead?
Let's expend that energy or maybe some creative, positive pursuits instead of character
defamation.
Well, it's all, like I said, look, you got to go with the analogy.
It's like an art gallery, okay?
Comics are all different, all creative.
If you go into an art gallery, you might hate the Rembrandt, you might love the Goya, whatever.
It's art.
You don't want to see one painting, you turn and walk away, and if you want to spend more time staring at another painting, do it.
It's art, but don't try to destroy the art by going, oh, my God, Picasso used blue, and look, oh, my God, Rembrandt used blue.
Oh, my God, oh, he stole his blue.
It's like it's colors, it's brushstrokes, it's textures, it's shading, enjoy it.
Stop trying to analyze it.
Your job is to sit back and laugh.
So, well, let's leave it there.
Done.
And that's quite a passionate conversation.
We've actually used up the whole half hour here.
We actually went a little bit over.
A little serious tonight.
A little serious, but look, I could tell you we're fired up when you came in here.
And if there's one thing I know as a host, when my guests have something flame burning,
I have to address it, I have to talk about it, and you got it out.
You channeled it through me, and now I'm going to jump off a cliff.
I'm going to saw through my wrist with a car key and put a balls on a George Foreman grill.
But it's okay.
Kind of fun.
I enjoy this.
I mean, for those that are listening,
that I always enjoy our characters and the goofiness
and a little bit of the English queen stuff you got at the beginning.
I love coming on and getting funny and silly
because that's what 90% of the highway is.
But, I mean, there's very much like your interview with Andy Dick,
you know, every now and then.
Oh, yeah.
A little serious and a little genuine man.
I do enjoy these talks.
I think some of the best comics are the ones that aren't always funny.
They're the ones that are not.
always funny but always interesting sure and i i like just following the flow so tonight was a treat
i hope you folks liked it and uh listen we're not afraid of your emails or your phone calls or
anything like that but be mature about them you know if i can parallel it was something else it's
like people who argue politicians it's like oh my god you like sarah palin you're evil you're
an idiot or oh you like baroque obama what a jackass you know what it's all just people
trying to do their work, trying to be good at what they do.
I don't believe there was any malicious intent.
There was any type of sniping or any type of, you know, stealing going on.
So let's leave it there.
A serious episode of the Harland Highway.
Good Lord.
Hello, Mark Maren on line five.
Sir, we have Mark Maren with a 30-od six.
stand with the gate right now.
He says he's got a full clip and a heart full of rage.
Mark's a great guy.
Go listen to his podcast.
What's it called?
It's called WTF.
WTF.
WTF.
And just search WTF on Google.
But I implore you, not just the podcast.
Listen to his stand-up.
Oh, yeah.
Go see him.
Good for so, so long.
I love the guy.
I love the podcast for giving people a window into his stand-up, which people are now getting
to see.
Both are great.
Yeah. I mean, he's been wonderful forever.
Well, not only that, Mark has, he's been a regular guest on Conan for years,
and he's kind of flown under the radar a bit because he only gets so much time.
You only get six minutes on Conan, and Mark's been like me.
He's been one of those returned guests that Conan has, and my bits are a little faster
and snappier and punchline driven, and Mark is more of a rambler and tells long kind of stories.
So he kind of doesn't get to explode the way you want on Conan.
So check him out online.
Maybe there's some Conan interviews.
And he's got a new CD out called This Has to Be Funny, which is.
Oh, good.
Well, there you go.
And I worked with Mark in New York a couple years ago.
We spent a week at the Gotham City Comedy Club together.
Great guy, hilarious.
And we'll leave it there.
I'm going to say this.
We'll close it with this.
So if anyone wants to send any hate mail,
I'm friends and have worked with Louis C.K.,
I think he's effing great.
I'm friends and have worked with Dane Cook.
I think he's effing great.
I'm friends and have worked with Mark Maren.
I think he's effing great.
It's all about the laughter, the art.
Leave your soap opera bullshit at home.
And let's keep on chuckling right here on the Harlan Highway.
We've been talking with Justin Ian Daniels,
or sir, Justin Ian Daniels.
Where is the Korean woman?
I am fully erect.
I see the mere cat, but not the golden woman.
I love it.
Well, here's what we'll do.
Since this one got yours, would you come back and do another one with us?
Let's do another one.
I swear Harlan Highway, hitchhikers, passengers, listeners.
The next one will just be a moon bounce of giggle nuggets and funny muffins
and chuckle chowder, grab a spoon.
Fair enough.
And you know what?
Even if it went the other direction, so be it.
We love having you here.
Give the folks a little information about your radio show,
about your Facebook page, your website, all of it,
and then we'll shut her down.
Go ahead.
You can find me online, funnyjustin.com.
It's also on Twitter at Funny Justin.
And if you guys want to listen to the radio show,
it is 7 to Midnight, Monday through Friday, Eastern Standard Time.
Okay, so if you're out here on the...
the West Coast. It is four to nine. You can go to 98 online.com. If you want to listen online,
or if you have an iPhone, an Android phone, or even a Blackberry, you could text the word
download to 56332. And there's a link to download an app now to let you to listen to me
right on your phone whenever you want to, around the country, around the world. Wow, that was
our second podcast episode right there. The longest self-promotion moment I've got action figures
coming out one of them smells like cinnamon i've got a line of boy shorts coming out strictly for boys
they're made out of 100% burlap made in third world countries by young children who've been
pistol whipped by their superiors i have a line of rice coming out it's called nice rice it's the smile
time fun time side dish and i've got some salad dressing i've made in the crack of my ass okay there
you go he got it all out uh and speaking of salad and dressing we
got a split folks justin thanks for being here you've been listening to the harland highway and
until next time chicken chow main baby