The Harland Highway - PODCAST 314

Episode Date: August 31, 2011

Special guest, my friend Amber drops by and we discuss the world of women, sex, and relationships. Hold onto your hair doo this one gets wild! Hooooooooonkkkk!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, boy. Hold on to your holy water, your hockey helmets, and your hermaphrodites. This show is going to get a little out of control. You know, you might want to filter the kids away from this episode. Today I have a special guest, a special friend of mine. She's a beautiful actress and model. And I thought it would be fun to have a young, beautiful girl like her on to discuss with us the trends of what women are looking for today, to discuss with us the mindset of women when it comes to sex and relationships and body parts. And, I mean, it just spins out of control.

This beautiful girl holds no punches and it gets a little racy today here on the highway. But that's okay. It's a lot of fun and it might be a little bit of shock value here today. But nonetheless, come along for the ride and meet my beautiful, funny, talented friend, Amber, as we put our safety goggles on and jump on to the Harlan Highway Welcome to the Harland Highway. You fellas been doing a bit of booze and have you?

Sucking back on Grandpa's old cough medicine. There's an element of uncontrolled chaos. The Harland Highway. Serving everyone from presidents and kings to the scum of the earth. What a treat. Oh, wait. You just made a wrong turn onto the Harland Highway You need many years of therapy

Hey Harlan, it's Stephanie from Bedford Just do me You might want to think twice Before sticking your penis in there Just do me You're riding down the Harland Highway With Harland Williams Hey

Hey everybody This is Harlan Williams and you are rolling down the Harland Highway. And what a show I have for you today. Just a fun show. A good friend of mine is just dropping by, hanging out. We're going to talk. She's beautiful.

She's wonderful. And I thought, you know, she's a beautiful girl who is living here in Hollywood. And I thought it would be a great opportunity to ask her about what's going on in the world of women. What are women thinking? What are women wanting? What are women doing these days? Let's get her in here. She's an actress.

She's a comedian. Later, we'll give you some information where you can check her out online. Amber, Rochelle, Coil is here. Huh? Hi. Hello. How are you? Wow, what's that voice you're doing?

That's a good, deep, like, sultry. I haven't heard that one. Yes, it's quite titillating. What, titillating. You had to throw the T word in there. In the first few sentences, we get the T word. Any way I can say tits in a sentence, I try to do it. Really?

Sometimes. So, wait, you like to throw the tit word around? Yeah, because, I mean, I don't have tits. So, you know, I like to feel tits. I like to look at tits. I like to say tits. Wait a minute. I'm looking at you right.

Now, it appears to me you have just a fine. Ladies, ladies out there, I think we all know what the Victoria's Secret Miraculous Bra can do. Wait, what? What is it? See, right away, I was hoping we'd get some secrets. And right out of the gate, we're getting a victorious secret. What is the miraculous bra?

I just went and bought two more today. Yes, it's pretty much where you put your tits on for the day. you take them off at night and put them back on the dresser. Wait a minute. Are you saying there's like fake breast meat inside the cup of these bras? I don't know if I would call it meat per se, but it's a nice facade. I'm not going to lie. So it's like it's a bunch of padding.

Yeah. I mean, I'll let you feel it in a minute. You can just just. On the air? We get to feel it on the air. You can feel it here. Okay, here we go. She's coming over, and I'm feeling, so what part of this is, so I'm not really touching your breast,

no, that is all foam. You can, you can point your finger probably two inches deep, and you probably won't even hit the nipple. I'm pushing, where I think there's a nipple. I'm pushing, as if I was pushing like a start button on, and now she's leaning into my finger, like Superman leaning into the wind. My finger's actually bending backwards, and I, I couldn't feel any nipple at all. Cryptonite.

Wow, that is thick. I mean, I would pack a vase in that bra and ship it across country, FedEx. Pretty much. Wow. So is this a secret that, I mean, I didn't know about this. I wonder if the guys out there listening know about this. I think they know because there has been an instance where, you know, I'm kissing a guy and he starts to feel, and I'm like, oh, God, oh, God, he's going to know.

I'm like, hold on, I'll be right back, and I'll take off my brawl real quick. Or, excuse me, I'll take off my tits real quick. So, wait, you'll run to the bathroom. Yeah. And then they're like, I know they're like, okay, the mounds are gone. Where did they go? Wow. So what if they think, like, and this is bizarre, because, you know, Amber's a bit.

beautiful woman but what if you i mean take them off and you come back and the the mounds are gone and they think oh my god it's a guy girl it's a guy a shim a what a she man a she man because you're not her me you're you're not trying to say that you're completely flat as a boy no but it's either there's different types of women you have women can i can i curse on here you can curse please if that's where we need to go go okay So you have women who typically have a nice ass don't have tits or vice versa. If they have big tits, they have no ass. Why?

I didn't know this. I mean, I'm speaking. This is probably mostly for a Caucasian. But, yeah, I mean, why do you need tits when you got an ass like this? Well, I didn't see your ass. You show me, stand up and show me your ass. Come on. beautiful ass what can i say no i just i don't so there's no before you go there's no foam on that

no foam on the ass no like victorious secret like bubble wrap or packing tape or no plenty of natural dimples for that that's all you that's all your ay yeah any any you know sizable ass it's going to have dimples like Kardashian yeah there's nothing smooth on there. Wait, wait a minute. You mean like dimples like cellulite? Or do you mean like cute little dimples like Tom Selleck has in his cheeks? If you have an ass, you definitely have a dimple somewhere. So like cellulite dimple? Yes. Like a bullet hole. Yes. Yeah. Photos. Like you've seen, you've seen my photos. Like those are all Photoshop. I don't care who you are. Like they're going to smooth it out. Because there's no one that can have, you know, massive.

curves without like it's not perfect really yeah i didn't know that see i thought i thought if you if you were just totally toned tight skin but hey i guess i'm we're learning more i've learned two major secrets already in the first like five minutes with you i also have an assortment of chicken cutlets which are coming in handy on photo shoots so i'll just pack in like you know two or three of those in each cup and hey i go from an a to a d what do you mean chicken cutlets see i don't know this terminology man i'm like a deer in the headlights here they're like um i guess you could call it like a gel tit like a gel in the form of like a tit has it got fluoride in it by any chance gel tit sounds like a tooth polish product billy put your gel tit on your teeth are yellow

little bastard. Oh, mommy, I don't like the gel tith. I keep getting the nipples stuck between my teeth. Hey, I don't have tits, but I have really huge nipples. Oh, God. Or do I? Whoa. Have you ever seen a girl with giant nipples?

Yes. Tell us that story, because I think just by the look on your face, you're a little grossed out by it. I know I would be. Tell us what you saw, where, how? and when? The mammaries from hell. What's a mammary? Is that the nipple part?

The ariola, the mammary glands. Yeah. So where were you and how big were these pancakes? Well, I don't want to throw any ladies under the bus. No names, just where were you? Yes. I've had a few friends that, you know, I've changed in front of me. Yeah.

And these are very large, enormous tits, and the aerial is probably cover, I'd say, a third of the tit. It's a little scary. Is that summer sausage you've got over there? I'm sorry. And what color was it like dark brown or was it pinkish? Because the big brown ones would scare me. It looks like the eye of an orca. You know, I'm afraid a killer whale's going to jump up and take my leg.

I don't know if that's what a whale sounds like. I'm a tit orca. Why am I making turkey goblin noises for an orca? Was it brown or pinkish? Well. Did it look like a panda eye? The darker, the skin of the person, the darker the ariolers are going to be. Wow.

Have you ever been to Arial of 51? Is that real? Does it exist? In my dreams, yes, in my dreams. So this was a girlfriend and she was like getting undressed in front of you for whatever reason. We don't know why. Wait a minute. Well, let's ask, why the hell was she getting undressed in front of you?

The hell were you up to? Oh, come on. That's what girls do. You know, we go to bathroom and pairs. you know we're pretty comfortable like that yeah why do girls go to bathroom in pairs like that what what's the deal um i don't know i i just maybe some people don't feel comfortable doing things by themselves or you know just is this wrong to ask and i this could sound really wrong you can yell at me if i'm wrong but i get the impression when girls go out they they like to chit chat and talk yeah that

That is a good point. So would it make sense that they go to the bathroom together so they can keep the chit-chat going? Yes, definitely. And if you're like, if you're out with guys, you know, it's a great like, hey, let's go to the bathroom. Do a little, you know, chit-chat about what's going on with the guys. Oh, really? So you guys do a little, you do a little assessment break. You're not really peeing.

You're like doing a checklist thing. Like Brad's really hot, check. Tim's kind of a drunk. check that type of thing yeah it's pretty much a multitask wow kind of like texting and driving and putting on makeup and eating at the same time it's just multi-tasking you oh wow see I didn't know that so now and you got to check your cutlets you know you got to make sure they're not sliding to the side your your tit gels is that what you call them so here's a tip for the guys amber just kind of illuminated all you guys out there listening uh when you see the ladies

getting restless and then heading for the bathroom, that's the time right in that slot to do something nice or say something nice or get their chair or compliment them so that when they go to the bathroom, you've got like a brownie point. Exactly. Wow, interesting secrets. Now, talk about like the girls today. What are the girls looking for today? Let's start with the relationships.

What are girls today want out of a guy? Because so many guys out there, they're like that metrosexual thing. And I think a lot of guys don't know what the hell is expected of them anymore and what they can and can't do and what's appropriate. Let's hear from your perspective. What do you think the ladies want? Honestly, like, I'm a girl from Texas. You know, hey, shout out to my H-T.

town tizzies nice that was an inner hood rat coming out I like it the tizzies I think I know what those are and you know

here we are in Lala land and I find it that women are quite different here than they are in Texas I find that girls here pretty much you know they have I think money is probably

the number one thing that they look in a guy really and then being sexually attracted to the other one is probably number two which is in my opinion that's surprising because that's that's not how I work but um yeah here it's a whole other ball game well wait a minute so that being said for for la la land for those of you that don't know Los Angeles what about in Texas then what would be different what are the what are the priorities for the women in Texas I would have to say um you know that instant connection with the person and being attracted to each other physically mentally you know people from you know small towns i think they just want to they just want to like you know get married have kids have a family and that's their life yeah so it's more connected more grounded yeah but you know you get in the big cities and these women they they want to be more independent and they want to do everything on their own well sometimes and then they want to have some guy buy them their new lubitons and wait what's a lubiton see i'm i'm out of it man what is

i'm not even joking any gorgeous heel with a red bottom that's a lubaton that if i look at the dictionary christian lubaton will i see the word lubaton is that in the english dictionary Lubiton Wikipedia Wikipedia Okay But that's a real word Right

Lubiton It's a man's name It's a designer Oh it's a designer See I am You know Hello Dolce on Gabana

Hello DNB or Gnb Or whatever it is What is it? Hello Pardon Was that you Excuse me

I'm a little gasty Wow You just took me to a nice Italian dinner and I had my pink berry, and I'm the glimpse. Oh, my God. Just so you folks, no, that was not me that just ripped the Mount St. Helens. That was Amber who just released the cracking over there.

Wow. You're one of those girls, a beautiful girl, no qualms about burping in front of men. That's right. It's kind of beautiful, kind of disgusting. You throw it all together, and it evens out, and you get her right in the middle. You know what? I just, I don't care anymore. Like, I'm me. You're you. Like, I'm gassy. I'm human. Like, guys do it too. Like, love it or leave it.

Now, let me ask you this. And this is a huge question. Gentlemen, huddle around your podcast, okay? Amber is about to reveal government secrets, I'm sure. Classified. First of all, Amber, do women fart? and B, if they do, since you burp in front of anyone, will you toot in front of anyone? So do women fart? Men want to know. Hell, yes. What? And I know there's men out there that are like,

oh, hell, no, I don't hear that. You know, like, I've had guys actually get mad at me, like literally, like, angry at me because I freaking barped. Barped out. Barf! What's a barp? I mean... Is that in the dictionary?

Yes, actually, that's when you cross a burp and a fart. Oh, wow. Dude, I'm a genius. I just made up a new word like subconsciously anyway. So yes, when I burp and I fart. Yeah. And they literally, they're like, like, it's grotesque. Like, they're just insulted.

Really? And that is the burp or the fart is one worse than the other to these men? Well, yeah, I think a fart's way worse. And now when you do the fart. And let's not even get to sharding. Because they cannot handle that. We might have to. You brought it up.

We might have to. Hello. Once again, not me. Wow. This is getting good. I'm just waiting for the blarp or whatever it is you said. The flarp. I don't know.

It's like a doctor-sus creature. Up on the box, I saw a fox. In the glarp, I saw the blarp. Now, wait a minute. If you do a fart in front of a guy, as you said. Is it a plight little you kind of lean up on one cheek and it's like a... Or are you doing a full-on like...

Like the, you know, a DC-9 coming down the runway. You know, I think it has a lot to do with the surface that you're on because if you're on a hard, like, wooden chair, like you're going to have the machine gun effect. Oh, no, what's that? If you're sitting on fabric, it's most likely going to be like a nindexam. You know, or it just absorbs. Wait a bit, wait a minute.

You know, silent but deadly. What is the... Roll it back. Explain the machine gun effect. Good God. You know, like, pr-r-r-oh-oh-my-god. And what's the other one, the ninja effect? Yeah, you know, everybody knows that, silent-but-deadly.

Oh, yeah, silent-but... Okay, so I get it. All right, the samurai. That's like a serious, like, just where the warm... you can, like, see the green fog floating to the nostril. Oh, my. Now, wait a minute. So let me paint a picture.

You're with a guy, and you got a toot one, and you're just like, whatever, and you let it rip. Is that how it goes? Pretty much. Unless, you know, I try to vibe off of the person, you know, because. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes.

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If they seem like they'd be, you know, semi-okay with it, you know, and I can just talk about, out of, like, being grossed out and be like, whatever, I know you do it too, you know, or just, like, laugh about it. but you get those few that they're just like appalled they just and that's when you know it's just not meant to be and you'll probably never see that person again all right i want you to think really hard and i want a real story i want a real story i try and remember it word for word where were you when did you fart what were you doing how loud was it and then what did the guy say and i want a story about when a fart didn't go well i don't want one of your fart did well stories tell me you about one of the farts didn't go well stories um probably the first one that comes to mind is i was i was with a guy we went to mexico together wow okay mexico right away you know it's going to be a bad fart okay you're setting us up yeah so yeah everything was fine like the

next day we get back into the states and we're at home and in bed and like i'm just like ripping it like serious like Dutch oven style and he's like seriously fucking stop stinks and I'm like I'm sorry I can't help it like my stomach hurts and he he like he had like this worried face and like I gave in the Dutch oven so hard because there's so many times where like he did it to me and finally this was like the ultimate like you know pun intended Montezuma's revenge. Like, I got my revenge on him with my Mexican farts.

And, like, there was probably some leakage there, too, because he literally had a tear in his eye. He was, like, crying because it was so bad. This is, I'm going way too far here, but what? I think we have to ask, what was the aroma?

What were we, what blend of Mexican delights are we talking here? This is probably, like, just like, a sessed pool of just straight up funkified

like death like fried shit in a skillet like Oh God I had to ask I had Garbage That's a delicacy Excuse me

Signor Would you like some fried shit in a skillet We made it this special for you Would you like some onions With your fried shit in a skillet Signet seor Are you a Mexican or a Mexicant Wow

Wow. So, okay, so explain to people, too, who might not know who might be a fart novices. What is a Dutch oven? Some people don't know that term. Really? Well, yeah, think about it. Explain a Dutch oven so people can fill in the blanks here. When you're in bed with someone and you rip one and you pull the cover over their head or even, like, do a little flapping with the sheets, kind of like similar to a waft. a wafting and it pushes the hot steam funk air through their nostrils gracefully

wow so you're basically trapping them in your fumes yeah trap them in your ass fumes if you had a you know a freaking black light i'm sure you could see the fucking ass particles oh my ass particles what the hell is that now is that going to be in the chart of elements now? Oxygen, zinc, chloroform, ass particles. The hell is it out? Oh, my baby's got a little chaos. Oh, she's a little gassy tonight. Oh, my baby, put some ass particles all over the brand new shag carpet. Look what you don't make me do. I don't shit my pants. Oh, my God, there's some Mexican ass particles. Some of them been eating some shit fried delight. We should sell this. What? I'm sure Harlan, I'm sure you could, you could probably

trap some of your shit particles in a jar and sell that on eBay for a good price. You know, I don't, uh, that's the thing. I don't, uh, I don't, uh, I don't fart. Shut it down right now. Yeah. You seriously just got all that out of me and you're going to tell me that you don't do that? Yeah, I'm like a girl. You don't drop Obama off at the Oval Office?

You don't drop the Cosby's off at the pool? You ever see a zombie movie where they fill a zombies to kill it? You have to fill its mouth with salt. and so it's lip shut. I had that done when I was 13 to my... Oh, hello. That, again, for the record, was not me. All right, let's shift gears, since I'm sure our listeners are...

We probably lost, like, half of our listeners. Or maybe the half that we lost ran to their bedrooms, ran under their sheets to try a Dutch oven for the first time. I wonder if the Pillsbury Doe Boys ever done that commercial. Nothing says loving like a Dutch oven With cinnamon That's hilarious All right

So let's ship gears to something That's much more I'm sorry Can I just recommend a book Yes The Kamaputra It has all the different positions That you can take a shit

And there are some amazing ones in there And I highly recommend this book Wow, okay, we just slipped back into the nether world. I was trying to move it to another level, and we went backwards. I just had to drop that real quick. See, now I can't just walk by. My listeners would be enraged if I walk past this new topic you just dropped on us, and no pun intended.

So now I have to ask, there is a book out there with a myriad of positions to drop loaf. C, signor. And how many positions are there in this book? I don't remember exactly how many, but... Like hundreds, dozens. No, it's less than a hundred, but... Yeah.

Let's just... I'm just going to throw a few out there. Okay, let's give us a little list of your top favorites. Which one? The captain. The captain. Describe the captain, and have you done the captain? I have not done the captain.

Oh, it's your favorite, but you haven't done it. Well, tell us how you do it, and maybe we'll figure it out. Look, look, look. We have to leave some things to the imagination. I think they should go get the book. They should look. We cannot leave the captain. The captain, the skydive.

Tell us how you do the captain. Please. The listeners will never forgive me. Any Captain Morgan fans out there, this is going to be their, they're going to be their shit pose. Okay. How's it go? You know, when you raise your left leg and do the captain pose, the Captain Morgan? Okay. Well, that's how you take your shit.

You just like hovercraft over your porcelain goddess and drop a load in the Captain Pose. Like, how awesome is that? Like, people should take a picture of that and post it on Facebook. But wait a minute. You've never even tried it. So you're endorsing this to the max, which I'm happy. so happy about a shit position well i think that's more of like you know a manly pose that's like okay the captain yeah that's got i need to do something a little more dainty okay so give us one that maybe you have tried that was in the book which one have you tried in the amazing book of shit

poses um oh boy the cheerleader the cheerleader the cheerleader goes oh my god you mean there's a guy holding you up underneath i hope not tell us how the cheerleader work nope that's all you're going to get really yep and that's a real one that's a real one huh i'm just picturing someone dropping one off weld or cartwheeling and creating some of that crazy art you see when artists throw their paint on a canvas i just dropped a loaf and look it looks like Jimmy Hendricks's face I'll give you $12,000 for that

sir oh again not me that was the salted caramel yeah that sounded salty caramel that wasn't one of those sharps or whatever it was a barp what did I say

we have to go back and listen I think you said a blarp a blarp it's like a blimp but it's all right so let's shift gears we made it through the uh the uh bowel regions we made it through the relationship regions i think there's only one topic left sex okay and we have again just so uh you know amber rachel coil is here do you want to

tell the folks before we uh move into sex uh do you want to do you want to tell the folks where they can see you or where they can look you up online or would you want to just stay unanimous no i'm pretty i'm an open person it's all good in the hood All right, where can people... You can visit me at www. Ambercoil.com. That's A-M-B-B-E-A-M-B-E-A-Mber Coil.com. Yeah.

And you can find me on Facebook and Twitter. Twitter me, baby. And your website has some incredible, beautiful shots of you modeling. Oh, thank you. Amber is a sight to behold, gentlemen. I suggest you go there. You will forgive her all her Mexican blowouts, her Captain Morgan's, her cheerleaders.

you will immediately go, I hope she does that on my front lawn. I don't care. But let's move on into sex. What are the ladies looking? And guys are always wondering, and I bet there's some women out there that maybe need to update their repertoire,

their sexual repertoire. Maybe, Amber, you can kind of tell us what's the latest trend out there for women's sexual needs, and maybe if there's something you, like in particular what's going on in the uh sex world of women good god i don't even know where to start with this one uh oh what do we say why do we start uh maybe positions what uh what's what's the rave the rage position now for women or is that a stupid question dang because you got to guess

maybe not much has changed over the centuries there's only so many positions right yeah But, you know, sometimes there's, like, sexual fads, like, people are into this or that. And I, I didn't know if there was something new out there, you know. Well, this is something I put in my stand-up. I really, I don't get it. Like, like, for instance, I've made out with a guy, and then, you know, things start moving forward. And he starts fondling my asshole. I'm like, what is going on here?

Look out. That's the fart zone. Like more so than, you know, the other region that you would think would be the more appealing region. Got it. Got it. And it's happened to me like more than one occasion. So I'm kind of like confused about that. I want to know what's up with guys. Like Harlan, let's switch this over to you. All right. Switch it around. What do you got? I mean, like, do you, I don't even know how to, I'm sorry, I'm just so like a maze. I might be blushing a little bit.

This is the girl that had no problem doing 42 Dutch ovens in a row, almost exterminated a former boyfriend. And she's getting embarrassed about her starfish. Enverished? Is that a new word? Enverished, yes, I'm going, I'm as enverished as a blarist as a blur. You're embarrassed. I'm very embarrassed, so I must go in the corner and blop. Once I blop, I will be no longer embarrassed.

Well, that's interesting. Well, I think, you know, we live in a world where I think people have more access, visual access to sex. I think there was a point in time when young men, didn't have as much access to pornographic material as they do now. Now they're trying to get a little more creative, and it's like, dude, chill out. I think that might be it. I think there was a time when anal sex and anal sex with women was taboo.

There was states where it was even illegal. You could go to jail for sodomy. And I got to say, I think maybe in the modern world, it's kind of the, The veil around that has lifted, and it's become more commonplace, and not only are men probably more exploratory with it, but maybe they even expect it to a point. Right. And on that note, maybe women do, too. A lot of women maybe think, oh, they want to try it, or that's the way to go. It seems...

Well, yeah, you want to keep your man. You've got to, like, keep them interested. And I think, you know, couples that have been together for a really long time, like, they want to try to keep, you know, the spice. up and like try new things but there's a certain things that your body's not made for i mean well you know and i i've read i've read about it because it's a curiosity but there's also the argument for it where i read a book about uh sex and sexual positions and so on and there was this whole chapter about that anal sex and that there are thousands or hundreds of erodic Imaginish zones, they call them, around and in the area we're talking about.

You know what? I was in the car the other day on the way to work with a bunch of girls. And this was brought up. And they're like, you know, asking, like, have you ever had anal sex before? And everyone was like, no, no, no. And this one goes like, oh, well, I have. And it was not good. So don't even try it because I tried giving it a chance like three times.

Oh, hell to the no. so really i mean yeah hey look it's if i was a girl i don't know that i'd be open to that it's it's definitely uh kind of not as natural as uh you know what you were describing earlier where it's supposed to go a goes into b b goes it you know and i think it also has a lot to do with your partner and you know his uh his uh box of tricks wait what's that mean box a trick what's that suddenly i got a serial reference and once again i don't know what she's talking about what is his cash and prizes oh so his junk yeah it has so wait a minute so he i don't understand if it's i mean if you're dating the asian guy in the hangover i don't think it'd be

much of a problem oh okay so you're saying it's a asian men typically have a smaller uh package I've heard that. I can't verify it. No, I will send you this map. It's actually... A map. There was a study done... I don't know if I need a map of an Asian man's penis. Suddenly I'm on Curly's Gold and I'm looking for golden nuggets on an Asian man's penis.

No, I'm going to send you this. It was a study and I'd like to know who did this study because it's quite interesting. But it shows a map and, like... Like, you know, the different regions and in junction to the size of a man's penis. So, like... You mean geographical regions of the world? Yes. And it gives the percentage, you know, like of inches that these men have.

Wow. The number one... Can you just go to IHOP and, you know, get the same thing? The number one was Chinese and Indian men. came, and by Indian, I mean red dot Indian, not, Eastern Indian, East Indian, yes. They came to an average of a whopping four inches. Wow.

That's kind of small. Yes. I don't know if I want to ask about Canadians. Do I want to know? I don't think, I think Canada was pretty normal. What's normal, though? well let's just say the largest came in with an average of over seven inches and that was in the Congo the Congo wow yeah wow and isn't it so you have that look in your eye it's like oh it's so far

away well ironically it's also the number one uh place for uh rape oh really yeah wow well you know of rape in the world. That's probably due to the Congo is, you know, that there is a lot of social and political unrest in the Congo. Well, I feel sorry for those women because seven, oh my goodness. A, it's horrible to get raped, and B, to be horrible to get raped by something that's, yeah, but very, you know, big and make the experience even more horrible. Well, that's interesting. I did not know that there was like a geographical map of the human member. Yep. amazing and where does the united states of america fit in is it is it kind of somewhere it's kind of like you know the middle grounds the middle ground yeah so if you want average penis come to america exactly hello i'm looking for an average penis where should i go try ohio buddy thank you very much you know what evolution has created all kinds of adjustments for all

manner of species, creature, critter, human, mammal, bird. So, you know what? I, again, haven't done this research, but part of that makes sense. Why not, right? Exactly. It's totally possible. Maybe some of you know the answer. 888, 52090.

If you have any thoughts on this or anything else we've been talking about tonight, feel free to call, chime in. Let us know what you think. And I think this is a perfect place to, you know, end the show. We've covered many, many human functions. We've talked about sex, private parts, tit fillets, I mean, flarps. It's just what a show. Oh, what a show.

I think we have to have you back to do another one. Yep. So why don't we say goodnight? Amber, tell them again, give them your name so they know who you are. Amber, Rochelle Coil. There you go. Amber, thank you for being on the Harland Highway. We'll see you next time, folks.

We'll have Amber back for sure for more provocative conversation. And don't forget, you can. check us out online at harlowe williams.com. Check out the merch store. And if you want to see me live, that's right. I said live, my friends. You can catch me in Cleveland, Ohio, September 8 through 11th at hilarity's comedy club theater, the pickwick and frolic. Go online and reserve your tickets. And until I say, See you there. You know where I'll be.

I'll be on the Harlan Highway eating a big, juicy bowl of chicken. Chalmane, baby.