The Harland Highway - PODCAST 319

Episode Date: September 12, 2011

A visit from special guest Mellisa Villasenor, an incredible impressionist from this years America's Got Talent show on NBC. Hear about the show as well as a bunch of her incredible impersonations. Holy pie slap!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, it is me, Harland Williams, and, oh, my golly, what a great show today. I won't say too much. I'm just going to get right to it. Have an incredible, wonderful, talented guest with us today. It does incredible impersonations, voice impressions, and you might have seen her on America's Got Talent this season. and I won't say anymore. Let's just get this podcast started. This is not an impersonation. This is the real thing.

This is the Harland Highway. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Relax. Get ready to have fun. What we've got here is failure to communicate. One cheeseburger with everything coming up. You just made a wrong turn onto the Harland Highway. Look at me, Damien. It's all for you.

This is Harland Williams. I'm a human being. God damn it. Hey, everybody. This is Harland Williams, and you are on the Harland Highway. And, oh, my gosh. Oh, my sweet gosh. I have an incredible special guest today. super talented super lovely super beautiful she's here in the studio Melissa and I'm gonna get you to say your last name because everyone knows who listens to my podcast I stink at the last names it's Melissa I'm gonna try it and

then you correct me yeah yeah go ahead go Melissa via seigneur that's it what you got it right no I did not yeah it's via seigneur he did it really yeah do I what do I win do I want a cab a corner or anything. No, I can give you a hug. Okay, I'll click on a hug. Let's, I'll click on a hug later. So in case you don't know Melissa Villasena, which you should, not only from her years of doing

stand-up on the stand-up circuit, but she was one of the main contestants on this year's, America's Got Talent. She kicked some hairy ass. You'll know her as the girl that did the incredible. impressions and uh what a season you went really far this year right yeah it was it was like two more rounds and then i would have won it a million dollars yes yes and i never would have got you here if you'd won the million right no you would still i don't know i don't know i don't think i'd get like i'll give you a hug for a cove corn no way no way you want a million i think you'd be all

attitude right no no i don't think i would ever i don't think i'd be i try no i'm not a good no you're too sweet that i got to say that's one of the things i loved about you on the show you radiated a sweetness and that's one of the reasons i wanted you up here first because of your incredible talent but you're just such a sweet person you have such a kind uh hard and and uh it's great to see that you know it's funny like when i because i you know comedy clubs a lot of comedy story there's a lot of it's like real dark you know and every time i go in there i'm like hey guys it's like i'm doing voices and it's all clean comedy and people like god why are you so happy all the time i don't know yeah you're kind of you're pretty goofy too yeah i think a lot

of the a lot of the stigma around comedians is a lot of them have a lot of darkness and a lot of issues and i didn't know that when i got into comedy i was the same way i was like wow funny people. Giggle, giggle, chuckle, chuckle, happy time. Jerry Lewis. And then I found it even Jerry Lewis is like an angry, mean guy. So it's great to see someone who is laughing about life, laughing about their career at incredible impressions. Thanks, Harley, thanks. No, I mean it. I mean, I love impressionist. I don't even know if I've ever seen a female impersonator before. Wow.

Another angel just got his train ticket. Wow. What the heck was that? Is that your phone or something? That was my text. Maybe it's a listener texting in. Collect on that hug, you idiot. Okay.

Someone wants me to get that hug later. Great. But now tell us about the experience on America's Got Talent because Howie Mandel was one of the judges. and he's a comic. Did you feel like you connected with him on the show? Yeah, I certainly did, because I think he really enjoyed what I was doing, you know? So it was nice.

It was really comforting and like, oh, okay, at least he'll always kind of be by my side on this, you know? Yeah, yeah. It was good to have that. Because if it was just no, you know, comic as a judge, I think I would have been out of there maybe. I don't know, maybe. I don't think so. I don't think so. You really, you brought the goodies, man.

You brought the groceries home to Daddy, as they said. Oh, man. I don't know where they say that, but they say it. I think down in the bayou, somewhere really questionable, right? Now, Melissa came in here with a wonderful lumberjack shirt. Yeah, yeah. I love it. It's like literally like you grabbed it off the back of Paul Bunyan on the way over.

It's like red and black checkers. Yeah, yeah, it's the typical ones. And I don't know. I wore it last night to have a show, and my mom was like, that red looks good oh really yeah all right so i guess red looks good on me or something well you know red and black are supposed to be like the colors of passion when you mix them together oh yeah yeah uh there's a movie there's an old movie that aden quinn and darrell hannah did what was it called it was a i forget the listeners will know what it's called but they did it back in the day

and all the color scheme through the whole movie was black and red and it was to evoke kind of this passion feeling while you're watching it. Now, people who saw you on the show, and you caught me off guard with this big time, you look like a beautiful little, like, English kid, but you told me you're Mexican. I look like an English kid. You look like a little white,

like a kid I'd see playing field hockey, and then stopping to have a crumpet and then playing some more, and then maybe playing some cricket after that. Yeah, I guess I do look like that. You're your very fair skin. Yeah, I'm pretty, oh, I'm even paler than a lot of white people, too. Yeah, you'd give powder a good run for his money, right?

I mean, you're not that far, but, you know, I'd never pay you your ethnicity to be Mexican. Oh, yeah, I know. Wow. Yeah, I'm challenging. I think I want to challenge your ethnicity, and don't be offended, but I think we need to get a DNA tester up here. All right. I convinced your scar. You're Scottish.

And I have this shirt, too. Wait, are both your parents Mexican? Yeah, both my parents are. So what's your mother's maiden name? Peralta. And my dad's last name is Villas, Signore. Wow. Unbelievable.

Yeah. I mean, I guess it's, I don't know. It's wild. I love it. I love it. Let's talk about the show some more. What was it like backstage at, America's Got Talent.

Backstage, it was, I think I was, it was kind of difficult because everyone had their big groups, dance groups, and they're all, you know, and I was just sitting there in the corner by myself, like a creep. I was just talking to myself, doing impressions. And I guess it was okay. I got along really well with the, there's these three little girls that were singing.

They called them the chipmunks. Yeah. You saw them the Avery and Calico girls. Yeah, right. But I got along well with them, and it's weird. I get along well with kids more than adult sometimes. Oh, really? But, yeah, I don't know, just because I don't know, maybe not so serious or something.

Yeah, you got like a lot of people, a lot of the groups are like, oh, we're going to really take it serious. Well, the reason I was asking is I did this show back in the day called Star Search, which was kind of a precursor to, you know, they kind of stole the template a little for all these talent shows now, right? Did they also do everything in there? They did everything. They did stand up. They did singing. they did dancing and it was a lot different and the stakes weren't as high

and there was certainly no million dollars I think you want a you know a bucket of raspberry ripple ice cream and you know a weekend at Pauly Shores lakehouse or something it was like ridiculous but I remember backstage it was super

competitive it was like there were parents yelling at their kids and the kids were crying and I remember there was a there was a singer there was this this this young guy kind of an effeminate guy and he was a singer and and he would do this thing where before every time he sang he had to um eat sardines out of a can and he would tell me this like this was his voice he'd be like i've got to have my sardines before

i sing and he would open a can't peel open a can of sardines from like seattle and he started eating sardines like a dolphin at sea world and stunk up the whole joint at reed all that canned sardines reek right and then he'd go out and sing and all i i just kept pitching him starting to do whale songs and stuff like be you know it was like weird no was it that weird backstage it was everyone friendly that no we haven't we didn't do anything like that um wow well then it was civil it was nice yeah it wasn't that bad Everyone was kind of friendly because, yeah. Well, excuse me.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Can I get you a sardine? Oh, my God. Are you okay? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Folks, she just choked. She was talking and she just, she's still choking.

No, it's, I don't know. It's just a cough or something. Wow, we need some sardines in here. Yeah, maybe I need my sardines. It's a smoke of cod or something for your throat. How many times did Pierce Morgan hit on you and be honest? Oh, no, he never hit on me. come on did you have a fling with them

oh no please come on oh come on i know you like the british guys she's like ooh vile i'd rather eat a tric lotus sardines god no i never know i'm just kidding yeah she's like appalled i'm just horning you

good old fashion hornin from the bayou um but did you like him was he he's a little a hard or when it comes to the judging right yeah he said some some things to some acts i was like oh god i would i don't know what i would do after just be really really upset but um but sometimes he had a point with everything though you know yeah i you know he was kind of right on with a lot of stuff too yeah he's kind of like simon he's harsh he's brutal but there's a lot of truth in one he cuts through the bs type of thing but it seemed like he was very nice to you he liked you it's pretty cool all three

judges were pretty good and I was worried on the last performance because I was doing kind of a lot of of those bits I do my stand-up and uh you know I was like oh if they don't like it well that's going upset me because this is what I like to do in my stand-up yeah right because and for judges to but they liked it so I was like oh good good yeah because I love it so now speaking of loving it should we get to some of my favorite voices that you did were just incredible I mean uh Kathy Griffin. Okay, so here's a deal. Yeah. Oh, my God. I love her. I love her. We should do a skit. Why don't we do a skit where you be Kathy Griffin and I'll be like a guy she picked up and we're in a car and we're sitting by the lake and you want to make out like crazy and I'm not really that into you. How about that? And you can just be her and she'll probably rip me a new one if I know Kathy. But let's ring it so. So here we are. Hey, Kathy, look, I can see the moon and the stars out there. Okay, so you look like so hot right now.

Oh, me? Yeah. Okay. Oh, my God. Well, just because I look hot, remember, Kathy, I'm not a piece of meat. Oh, my God. I think I'm going to unbutton your shirt right now. Let's not go that far.

This is our first date, Kathy. Just get over here and make out with me. I don't like red hair. What? Well, I don't like your hair. Okay, you didn't even make it nice for me. And most of my gays, they always make it nice. Wait a minute, most of your what? My gays. My gays are my best friends. How many gays do you have? You didn't tell me this. I have about 25, 30. That's like a herd of gays. Yeah. And if you don't make out with me, they're going to pop out in my trunk right now and beat you up. Because I carry with me with me with me everywhere. I don't want to make out with a woman in front of a group. A herd of gays. And on top of that, I don't like your red hair. I don't like your snappy attitude, Griffin. You better smell my red hair because it smells like carrots.

Smell it. God, God, it does smell like carrots. Yeah, yeah. It sounds like carrot soup. I'll tell you what, if you let me crumble up some saltine crackers into your hair, I'll do the makeout. Okay, fine. I love crackers. All right, I'm crackling up some saltine crackers.

Oh, my God. That feels so good. Yeah, that feels so good. Okay. Oh, my God. What did you eat for dinner? I had some spinach. I got to go.

I'm sorry, Kathy. Where are you going? You got to stay here? I took you out on the state. No, you see that lake out there? I'm jumping in. Goodbye. No, I want to marry you.

Goodbye, Griffin. Good luck with your herd of gays. Good improv. Wow. A herd of gays. She does love her gays. Doesn't she? Oh, yeah.

She has a big gay audience. And Margaret Cho, similar, she has a big gay audience. I wonder if I'm going to get that. Well, I think, no, I think so, maybe. You never know. See, I don't like having a select group. I just like having everyone. Yeah, yeah, me too.

It's like I don't want to be known as the gay-friendly comic or the straight-friendly cover, or the black or the white. I just, it's like, yeah, you want to make everyone laugh. I think, like, with my comedy and, And with the help of America's Got Talent, it made it my comedy even more universal, you know. Absolutely. I've been headlining some shows and, you know, I get people from all ages, different, you know. Hey, everybody.

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Speaking of demographics, what is an impression that the little kids gravitate to? And then I want to get into what is one that the adults like to hear more? What's like a favorite with the young kids? With the kids, it's Miley Cyrus. People love that. They like the Miley a lot. And what else? what about a what about a i do a mickey mouse bit about how i sound like mickey mouse when i get excited

and it it really turns guys off at bars and uh no way yeah can i try doing can we try doing like a mickey mouse guys together yeah you start it off i'm just gonna hang with you you start the scenario oh oh oh i'll have a rum and coke wait a minute you're not allowed to drink oh oh yeah i am i'm 23 wait a minute you're 23 Oh, yeah. Well, how old am I then? I don't know how old you are. Hang on, let me pull down my pants and count the rings.

Oh, what did that even mean? I'm really scared. I don't want to look. What are you going to order? What kind of drink, Mickey? I'm going to order. I'm going to order a wine and a... And a beer.

And a beer. Are you hammered already or what? Make up your mind, your drunk. I had already a rum and coke, and I had some beer on the way. Uh-oh, there's Minnie over there. Oh, you step back now. Wait a minute. I saw her first.

Oh, no. Up yours, Mickey. Oh, no, I'm getting her. And we're going to have a fun time later at my crib. Wow. Holy God, your gloves are puffing up. Oh, yeah. I'm going to punch you square right in the butt.

I just picture his puffy little hands getting flaming up. I don't know why. Wow, that's good. So that's for the kids. And then what's the adult one? What do the adults dig? What's a fave? The Barbara Welters.

A lot of older people like the Barbara Welters. Yeah, yeah. Is she still on the view or did she, has she passed away? No, I think she's still on there. Is she still alive? Oh, yeah. She's still going. Maybe I'm your doctor, and Barbara's coming in to see me.

It's like, Barbara, I got some bad news. What's the problem? I think we're going to need to give you a new face. Fine. Put the new face on me. Wait a minute, but it's not what you'd expect. I just want the new face so I could still be on TV. All right. Well, do you remember a popular actor named Tom Selleck? Yes.

you're going to look a lot like her let's do it that was too confusing I love it great voices man it's hard to do how do you practice people will want to know when they're listening how do you nail down a voice what do you do you just stand there for hours

um yes But I've been doing a lot, I've been doing voices for over like 10 years, like since I was 12. Like with the singing impressions I started doing when I was 12 years old. And then just every year, I just kept learning new ones. And my most recent one, it's been a while, I need to work on some new ones, but the most recent one wasn't the Nally Portman. I just, I got it after watching the Black Swan. And I just, I thought it was so amazing.

Wow, that's awesome. But that one kind of just happened very quickly after I saw the movie. And I was like, wow, that was great movie. And then it happened. I was like, oh, that's it? I didn't even know if she had a distinct voice. Who's a voice that you wish you could do, that you've tried? And it's just like, I cannot get that voice.

I want to do Whippy Goldberg's voice. But I can't, that's the one that's very difficult for me. Wow, that is a toughie. Because, yeah. I'm trying to think now. Yeah, yeah. That is tough. So you practice it, but you haven't nailed it.

I remember I tried in the past, and I couldn't do it. And then I used to, oh, I tried to do a lot of male impressions, too, and I couldn't, like, Morgan Freeman's and stuff. I was very, I challenged myself to. Yeah. Wait a minute. A woman doing male voices. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I like to.

It's fun. Like the Owen Wilson one's my favorite one to do. Wait, Owen, let's hear Owen Wilson. Yeah, man, yeah, wow, wow, wow. Yeah, man, there's a fire. Get out. You're going to die. Go, get out here.

wow wow wow yeah it's a very quiet a little impression but I like that one that's awesome it's awesome now I can see I was watching you and I can tell when you do the voice a lot of times people think it's just a voice but I saw you right then and they're kind of channeling his whole persona am I right yeah yeah I like to see the people like their faces that I'm imitating and it happens sometimes with even sometimes I feel like like with Sarah Silverman's that one I really see her face so clearly and I feel like it

happens to like attached to my face too I don't know that makes sense because you oh my God I am I was raped and the most shocking part about this

is while he raped me I farted I She is so edgy man It must be hard to find something, you know, not edgy to do on TV that she says. Oh, that's why I had that joke, the one I did, because, well, that was another thing. It was a very, it was very challenging being on America's Got Talent because you have 90 seconds. Yeah, it's brutal.

And, you know, I had to really, timing's so important with comedy and cutting down and trying to figure out, yeah, it has to be super clean. But how do you still make Sarah Silverman, Sarah Silverman, but make it clean? You know, it's kind of... I know, it's brutal. So that's why I went with that joke of, you know, what did I say? Oh, my God, my dog peed in my bed. And the only thing I could say to him was, thank you. I was cold.

Like, it's still her, but it's clean, you know? So I was like, all right, that's silly. I guess I like that. She has a killer line that I saw her do once. It was just such a ridiculous line. I can't do her voice. I'm going to try. Yeah, go ahead.

And I can't do it at all. But you've inspired me. And this will be the worst impression. ever but she did this line where she goes life is hard if life gives you aids make lemon aids like such a dumb line but for some reason it cracked me up it was so weird and out there god she's funny um so you do owen wilson any other guys because that's interesting well i kind of do my michael jackson singing impression too oh really you feel like singing All right, let me, let's do this, son.

Sorry, I had a fruity pebbles like an hour ago, so the milk is special. Oh, what? It's so special. Oh, you're doing the Michael Jackson. Well, I'm trying to get, you know, ease you into it. I figure if I try to do it a bit, let me introduce you as Michael Jackson singing Michael Jackson. Okay, good. Hi, this is Michael Jackson, and I have a very special friend.

It's me. I'm going to sing for you, because I'm special. Another day is gone, and I'm still all alone. How could this be that you're not here with me, then the two of us need to look no more. It's kind of special. That is so special. That was awesome.

Oh, thanks. great oh my god i have this thing on my youtube where i actually have that you're not alone playing the background and then i i'm singing the whole song how funny that you even remember that song ben oh oh well that's i like jackson five i'm a big jackson five fan so i like ben a lot do you know the story of ben what it is i never saw that movie but it was about a little rat right not a little rat it's about a great big like man-eating rat it's a horror movie no i thought it was a My mom said it was a very sweet movie. No, it's a horror movie about this guy named Willard who is kind of scorned by society.

He's picked on, so he raises a house full of hundreds of thousands of rats, and Ben is like the lead giant rat. He's like a pit bull rat. And then in this horrible movie comes this beautiful song, Ben, you're always running here and then. You know? It's like, what? That's like having, like, Crystal Gale singing in the middle of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. How does that happen? I didn't know that.

Yeah, your mother duped you. See, that's, it's just crazy. Your mother's up to some tricks. Yeah. She didn't want you to watch that movie. Well, she told me that there was a poor little boy that was very alone, and he made a friend through Ben. The bull! Where Willard is it?

Ben begins. Ben is coming from Cinerama releasing, and this time he's not alone. Maybe he was Ben. That's the name of the leader of the rats. There were some pages from Willard's diary in the newspapers. Thousands of them. Those rats kill three people. All residents go in and stay in your houses. Drive the rats in the tank area. They're reading us a life down there. There's millions of them.

And they're coming for you. They're coming. You're going to burn you, Ben. And then they're going to drown you. Run, Ben. Run, run, please. Ben. and his army of rats are on the way.

Oh, my God. You've been lied to and tricked. Oh, man, I would call child services immediately when this podcast is over and bring charges. You might have to charge your mother. I think I will. Yeah, there's something's up. There's some money in this for you. There's some Ben money coming your way.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, look out. Look out, Captain Kirk. wow let's see here what else i got so many things i want to ask you about um oh yeah here's one that's not even related to the voice thing but i thought i this these are kind of quickies what's your favorite pie pie yeah um oh goodness it's between chocolate cream pie yeah or uh uh lemon cream cheese what lemon cream cheese isn't a pie is it oh yeah i'm rickie calendars it is.

Marie K. Do you hang out of Marie calendars? And who is Marie Callender? Did she invent the calendar? Have you ever

been a Marie Calendar? I was there. You know what's funny? This is a true story. This is a very true story. I was there about a month ago. I was in Burbank doing some work, some voiceover stuff.

And I had a break in between. And there's a Merry Calenders on Riverside Drive. And you know what? I feel like a good old. old-fashioned meat and potatoes dinner. Yeah. So I go in, I get the salad bar, I get the meat loaf, right?

And I'm sitting there all alone. It's kind of an off hour. It's like between two and three or something. And all of a sudden this young woman comes in. She's probably about, you know, 30. And she's with this very, very old lady. Like I'm talking like 85-ish, right? And they sit down at the table next to me.

and it became apparent through their conversation that this young woman was just taking this old lady out because the old lady had no one. She was a lonely old lady who most of her friends had died and so this woman out of the kindness of her heart was like, you know, taking this lady out to give her some company and talk to her and I was so touched that after I finished my meal,

I snuck over to their waitress and I said, waitress, put my meal, put their meals on my, credit card and the waitress almost started to cry and I said no yeah I said you know what one good turn deserves another and she goes that is so sweet and I was like look I'm I'm happy to do it it was such a sweet scene so that was a nice memory from Mary calendars but you're dodging my question did she invent the calendar I don't think so why it's in her name it makes sense I know I know someone had to invent the calendar I don't know who created the calendar but okay let maybe it is marie here's how i see it right you're a girl named

marie calendar you're smart you've got some ingenuity in your blood you create a calendar all right everyone in the world uses it you make millions billions of dollars what do you do you're bored you open a restaurant chain you've always loved pies you invent pie lemon mango what was it Lemon cream cheese. Leaven cream cheese. Wow, I've never heard of that pie. Yeah, it's just like cream cheese. Yeah.

And then they put a lemon on top. What was that? She just slapped the kitchen. She slapped the furniture really hard. Who makes a pie? You don't hit pies? You don't hit pastries? What is what?

Here's this sweet little girl. Now I realize she's got a pastry temper. She just did it. She mimed slap. I'm slapping a pie. What is going on with you? I don't know. Sometimes when I get angry, I slap things like this.

When you get mad, you go, I'm going home to slap the pie. Screw you, Johnny. You're pissing me off. I need to slap a pie. Yeah, yeah. Wow. That could be like a new thing. Yeah.

Instead of anger management, slap a pie. Yeah. Oh, or throw a pie in someone's face. Oh, do you like the Three Stooges? I do. Do you know they're making a movie? The Three Stooges movie. I love those guys.

I watched them every night. Do they already cast it? Yeah, sadly they cast. I auditioned for Larry, the role of Larry. Oh, man. I was so sad. I didn't get it. But they gave it to that kid from Will & Grace.

I forget his name. He was like played the gay friend on Will and Grace. I don't remember his name. But Will Sassow is playing Curly. You know Will Sasseh from Matt TV, the big portly guy, hilarious? And then I don't know who's playing Mo. I heard it was like some good-looking guy, possibly the guy who played Cyclops in the X-Men movies. Remember the guy with the red sunglasses and he'd shoot laser beams from his eyes?

Yeah. I wonder, let me ask you this. This just popped into my head. You got a guy, an X-Men, who can shoot laser beams out of his eyes. Do you think a guy like that should be allowed to do laser eye surgery? Can you have laser beams in your own eyes and shoot them into other people's eyes and cure their eyes? That would be cool, huh? That would be cool.

I mean, that seems like a given the way Mary Calendar invented the calendar. You really like Marie Caledars. I'm going to slap a pile later, I'm telling you. I used to work there, actually. Get out of town on a beat-up old Puerto Rican school. bus with luggage on the roof what what are you telling me you pie slap and zaney what what i'm i'm you know i'm from here no you're not yeah what area wittier wittier have you ever heard of this place i thought that was a request you were wanting me to be wittier on the podcast that's the town yeah that's the town okay i was insulted

for it she said he said whittier i'm like i'm trying no wittier please harland got to give me more than slapping a pie. Please, Whittier. I'm like, wow, tough customer over here. God bless you. No, Wittier. So where is Whittier? Well, it's south from here. It's like going towards Orange County. It's like 20 minutes away from Disneyland. Oh, wow. Wow. So what was that like? Growing up in Whittier? Yeah. It was okay. It was all right. It's not as crazy as here in L.A. where it's just insane. Yeah. But a lot of my Mexican people and...

Yeah. Or you mean you're Scottish people you mean. No, no, I'm not Scottish. I don't know. I just... I'm going to do some research. I'm pretty sure you're Scottish or English. Yeah, but yeah, I grew up there and then I worked at Marie Calendors right around for my house.

As a waitress. As a hostess. I never got to the waitress. Oh, really? Well, that means you're hot. that you only get the hostess jobs when you're hot right oh really oh yeah oh man hostesses are always hot right yeah yeah yeah i guess you're right maybe i maybe i was a hot hostess you are a you're a still a hot hostess you're a good looking lady right here thanks yeah yeah

come on he's very photogenic when we saw you on america's got talent beautiful yeah yeah yeah come on. Yeah, I know. I need to. Absorb. Absorb yourself. I will. I will.

I will. And that's what I've been talking about my stand-up. I want to, I want to, you know, I barely moved on my parents' house when I was 22. And I didn't go out a lot now. And I'm out in L.A. I want to party it up. Really? What do you mean?

You want to like, I want to go to the dances and bars, you know, and have fun. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. You're looking for the scene. Oh, I mean. The Hollywood scene. Have you found it? No, no.

I don't, honestly, I don't think I don't think. fit in with it i think i'm more of someone that i'd like to just do comedy every night and then hang out and by myself and have and have my hobbies what are your hobbies well i haven't really had time to do my hobbies anymore but um you know i like to draw and make uh polymer clay charms and figurines really oh yeah oh wow so you're a talented artist as well i would say so maybe but yet no there's something you gave away you despite all that and it sounds like you're a little bit of a solitary person you like you you're you're kind of like me you get entertained by your own imagination yeah oh yeah yeah but yet look at your here look at your place here i know it's full of my

drawings and doodles and nutter butt squash whatever that means nutter butt squash yeah i don't know what that means but underneath that i can sense there's a bit of a yearning to go out and find the hollywood scene oh yeah look at you really no no i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm to tell you where it is do you want to know where you can go on the weekend the soho house have you heard of this oh you know what i i've actually been there with a friend that um bingo is it is it for british people is this one i'm thinking no is it for british people no because they're no it's not for british people love it's not i think we can go just about anywhere we like we don't have to go to the flip in soho house all right no but that that is what

it is right no it's it's a cool club where you gotta have a membership yeah it's for the british isn't it okay well no because i went with my friend that he's he's musician but he's yeah he is and then that's the only way i got in because yeah it's a membership but it's a beautiful place oh yeah that's that's kind of part of the hollywood scene yeah do you go too i've been up there sure yeah i'm surprised i didn't bump into you oh no i was only there once i don't know are you your regular don't turn into a Hollywood party girl i don't think i can never lose your charm no no i don't think i can ever be that way right because a lot of people get sucked in by that Hollywood scene when they find it and then it dehumanizes them and they lose their soul and they start chasing like

cocaine and they start chasing all this superficial nonsense it's fun to step into it have fun with it now and then but don't get absorbed by it actually don't i don't do anything like that i'm every now and then I'll have a good little drink, you know? Sure, catch a little buzz. Yeah, yeah, but nothing like that. And I think what helps me is that, you know, my parents, I'm really close to my family. And I know, you know, they don't live too far from here. So I see them, you know, weekly.

And I think it helps. And I think I like hanging out with my family. I like, you know, not many people out here have that or their support, you know, and I have a lot of love. So it's, I don't. So I feel pretty, you know, grounded. And it helps. You are very grounded.

And most people out here are transplants are like hair plugs. We've all been plugged in from somewhere else, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, that's cool. That's exciting. And let me ask you this. Do you drive? You obviously drove up here to the studio.

Have you ever hit anything in your car? Have you ever crunched anything? And you can be honest. I mean, come on. So you've slapped pies, but you've never crunched a squirrel. I slapped pies. That's really funny. You should get a tattoo, right?

Like a tramp stamp. I slap pies. That's tough. That is tough. Oh, gee, she just did it again. All right. Well, I got to do this. I figure since we're up here, and you're the champion,

since you do impressions, and I don't, I thought it would be fun to maybe do a quick, like a voice off. where we pick celebrities and then we'll do like maybe four. We'll pick two each and then we'll go at it and see who nails it, as if we don't know who's going to win this, but it's going to be fun. All right, all right. All right. So you want to pick the first voice and I'll go first and you go second.

Oh, but we do the same one. We do the same voice, yeah. So I got to try and I'm trying to knock you off your, hey, Harlan's got talent, okay, Forget America. I thought you do voices too, though. No, I don't. I do them as a goof. They're no good.

But now that you're here and you're the champion and you're amazing, I'm going to step up to the play. You remember that saying when someone's amazing, you try to raise your game? So watch me. All right. You pick the first voice. All right.

Well, I'll choose Britney Spears singing. Britney Spears singing nonetheless. Okay. Wow. Here I go. when you swing i don't know if i know any of her songs that's a

your tongue's under it's toxic i can't even i don't even know her word that's pretty funny toxic i couldn't i don't even know so you might win that round so you go you see if you can beat that oh baby baby how was i supposed to know Wow. All right. That was close, but I think he won that round. But you know, it's funny when you pointed out the toxic right now that I don't even know what she says when you, what you said right now. Yeah.

That lyric. Your tongue, dun, tongue, I don't know what she's saying. You're toxic. That's as good as I don't know any of the words. All right, you got me with that one. Okay, let me pick. I'm going to pick a staple. go ahead since you picked a girl i'm going to pick a dude okay okay how about oh wow how about captain kirk can you do william shatner oh i don't think i can't oh i might win this round let's you you win it i'll try i'll try and then you got it because i tried brittany here we go

scottie i must have a boston grain pie i must slap the pie scottie how about that scotty i must have a boston cream pie i can't do that that was good well i've never practiced it but yeah that's close maybe that was pretty good i might have been a tie that one no no no no that was a tie okay over to you this is the voice off with melissa visa credit no credit via Via seigneur? Via seigneur. I like that name. It's a beautiful last name.

Oh, thanks. I think it's called a house man. Houseman? House. Well, Via is like a house or something. Oh, yeah. And Signore is a guy. Yeah.

So you're a houseman. I was a houseman once. Oh. Yeah, I used to work in a hotel, and I set up the banquet rooms in the hotel when I was a kid, and we were called housemen. housemen were the guys that set up the banquet rooms at hotels oh so i'm a houseman too we might be related wow see i did not know you coming up here to do this podcast that i would be like on

you would be in my family we're both scottish yeah wow we're both housemen yeah all right go i'm getting all misty-eyed. You pick, pick your next. She's like, oh, pick your next. Okay, okay, I guess Wanda Sykeson. Oh, wow, okay. Who goes first? Me or you?

You can go first. Okay, okay. I just saw her on Larry David the other night. Okay. So I might get this one. All right. Okay, Larry, what are you talking about, Larry? I can't be giving up my time with my dentist when I got your at my dentist, Larry?

Wow. That was probably a nine out of ten. That's pretty good. No, it wasn't. Let's hear yours. Man, what's up, y'all? What's happening? Uh-uh.

This is bullshit. You gotta do a thing for the, uh, for the Harlan Highway. Do one of the, uh, this is Wanda Sachs, and you're listening to the Highland Highway. Man, this is Wanda Sykes. You listen to Harlan Highway, yeah. What's up? You win that round, hands down. Oh, I don't know, well.

Yeah. Okay, it's down to me. Last one. But yours is funny, though. No, mine reeked like old. tobacco grease on the bottom of a redneck's foot um all right who do we got cozy couch isn't that nice you can hardly believe you slapped it now right no i feel bad now no it's all right um let's see i'm gonna try and do a girl because i want you to do a girl uh how about joan rivers you go for it

i'll try to copy okay i haven't done that i don't know oh oh have you seen share lately look at shad she's got so much plastic surgery she's got plato coming out of her nostrils i don't know is that any good yeah i think that's pretty good yeah because it's kind of deep like that too but i sounded like a truck driver you could probably do it because you got a girl's voice what did you say you can make up your own thing it doesn't have to be what i say oh yeah but i don't know i don't know i don't know i have any she does like insult celebrity so if you have any insult of a celebrity and do it in her voice i don't No, I don't think I can do it. Really?

I think you're going to have to win this. I might have won this one? Yeah, I think you won it. Wow. Can you believe I won? Yeah, yeah. I didn't win the whole thing, though. You won the whole thing.

That's okay. You won the voice off. I think we could tie it. No, no. You are the winner. You are amazing. I love what you do. The reason I wanted you up here is because I saw you on America's Got Talent.

I honestly hadn't seen you before. And I'm sad that I hadn't, but it was a great surprise and I wanted all my listeners, all my fans to know who you are. Cool. Start to pay attention to you. And why don't you give us, before we go into the final music quiz, Melissa, give all the fans listening, the information they need where they can find you, they can watch you on YouTube, they can hit you up at a website, all that stuff.

Yeah, well, I put together a little website off of wicks.com, but it's Melissa v.comedy.com, and I have, you know, my link to YouTube and Twitter, everything is on that site. So you can find it there. And my YouTube channel, too, subscribe. I have a lot of random stuff. I have, like, singing impressions, stand-up, sketches, a lot of just crazy stuff on my YouTube. It's YouTube.com slash Melissa V-87. I know it's not a really great name for YouTube, but.

Direct. And people can go there and actually see you doing your impressions. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fantastic. Fantastic. Well, Melissa, we want to thank you for being on the show. We're at the end of the, we even went long today. Oh, whoa. This might be a new record. Oh, my goodness. I'm sorry. It took too much your time. No, I wanted you here. I kept asking you questions. You're such a great guest.

Oh, good, good. I had a good time. And the slapping pies too. Oh, slap the pie, people. I want everyone to get out. And next time you get angry at the world, don't take it out on a loved one. go slap a merry calendar's pie let's say goodbye thank you so much and uh hopefully we'll have you back here again and uh tell them once more real quickly where they can see you on uh your sites melissa vcomedy com um and actually check for my stand-up shows because i'm going to be going on the road soon and you know yeah very excited that's never really happened before and i'm you're touring right yeah yeah Yes, it would be called that.

And is that a result of all the great exposure from the show? Oh, yeah, definitely. Fantastic. Yeah, no, it's awesome. So, and YouTube.com slash Melissa V. Comedy. And you can look me up on Facebook. I have a fan page there as well. There you go, folks.

Melissa V. Oh, right. Thank you very much, folks. This has been the Harland Highway. Thank you for being here, everybody. And as always, until next time. Chicken Chow May, baby. And they had to be like being

Like being Like being Man, this is Walder Sykes, you're listening to Holland Highway, yeah. What's up? Thank you.