The Harland Highway - PODCAST 357

Episode Date: December 9, 2011

Dating scam, Charlie Lee and the Moonglow Tavern, twitchy legs, Harland makes a 911 call, do unto others, underground caves. Back street bingo boys!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone....fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Lord love a lemon bush. Welcome to the Harland Highway. It's me, your host, Harlan Williams. Hope you're doing groovy today, man and woman, because there's two different genders, right, I think. And speaking of women, we are going to be getting into a woman that pulled a date scam. Wait do you hear the scam this lady.
Starting point is 00:00:30 pulled, and I used the term lady very lightly. I'm not happy about what she did. I'm going to get into that. And we're going to be visiting with Charlie Lee today. I'm going to be dropping by the Munglo restaurant and tavern. Haven't been down there for a while. Charlie Lee will be there. I made a 911 call yesterday, and I'm going to get into that.
Starting point is 00:00:55 A little commotion in my neighborhood, I called the cops. Um, fun. And then, have you ever heard this thing, the twitchy leg syndrome? Good Lord. What next? So I don't know if you have twitchy legs or what, but I'm going to, you know, I got to talk about something that stupid. And then finally, I'm going to get a little preachy today and, uh, tap into a famous line,
Starting point is 00:01:21 do unto others as I would have done unto themselves. Uh, it's time for me to talk about it right here on the Harlan. Highway Welcome to the Harland Highway Relax Get ready to have fun What we've got here
Starting point is 00:01:38 is failure to communicate One Keithburger With everything Coming up You just made a wrong turn On to the Harland Highway Look at me Damien It's all for you
Starting point is 00:01:53 This is Harland Williams I'm a human being God damn it Hey, hey, hey, this is Harlan Williams here on the Harlan Highway, rolling with you. I think it's time to go in and visit our old friend Charlie Lee at the Moonglow restaurant. I'm going to pull off the Harlan Highway here. We haven't been to see Charlie in a little while. Let's go inside.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Hey, Charlie, how are you today? Oh, I'm doing really good. I got a brand new special all over the menu. Like a noodle dish? No, Charlie Lee got a rice cake. Oh, a rice cake, huh? Well, I don't know if I'm up for that. Yeah, you try rice cake.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Charlie Lee got a rice cake. Um, okay, maybe I'll get a rice cake butt with some, like, uh, you got any of that delicious orange peel chicken? No, Charlie Lee got a rice cake. Okay, you're getting a little heated up there. Yeah, that's because I say so many time. I told you already, as soon as you coming in the door, Charlie Lee got a rice cake all over the place.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Okay, well, I said I'd get a rice cake, but maybe I'll have some honey shrimp or... No, no, no, you just have rice cake. Charlie Lee got a rice cake. Well, you keep saying that, but maybe... You know what? I don't even want the rice cake. Yeah, you have rice cake.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Charlie Lee got a rice cake. Stop yelling. I don't want a rice cake. Yeah, Charlie Lee, Moonglow Special. I got a rice cake. I mean, you got a rice cake, funny guy. Okay, you know what? Maybe I'm not going to have anything. Yeah, Charlie Lee got a rice cake.
Starting point is 00:03:34 I think you're out of food, aren't you? What are you talking about? Charlie Lee got lots of food. Oh, really? Yeah, sounds like you're out of inventory. Why don't say inventory around Charlie Lee, terriaki? What do you got besides rice cake? I got lots of stuff while you try to Inquisition Charlie Lee. Is that what you do? You grilled Charlie Lee?
Starting point is 00:03:58 up against a wall like FBI agent? What do you got? Come on. You got any shrimp? No. You got any noodles? No. You got any chicken? No.
Starting point is 00:04:08 What do you got? Charlie, you got a rice cake. See, you're just out of inventory and you're trying to get rid of your rice cake on me. Yeah, you take rice cake right now. Get out my restaurant. You're saying I have to have the rice cake or I'm out. Yeah, you have rice cake. You get out Muglo.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Muglo, not like you. Get out terriac. Wow, you know what? I'm not going to be forced to eat your rice cake just because you haven't got your new order of food in. So I'm going to, you know what, I'm going to go over and get a cheeseburger. Yeah, cheeseburger, good shape. It round. You can put rice cake right on top of it. All right. See you later. Charlie Lee, everybody. Man, you believe that guy? He's all out of inventory. He's trying to dump his rice cake on me. Nice try, Charlie Lee. What am I an idiot? Yeah, I think you're an idiot.
Starting point is 00:04:58 You eat rice cake. How does that guy always hear me when I'm all the way down the highway? Charlie, he hear everything. He bought rice cake on his ear and make him pick up things like dolphin. Good Lord. What could be more annoying than that guy? What dining experience could be more annoying than going to have dinner at the Munglo restaurant with charge?
Starting point is 00:05:22 I've got a rice cake. What a lame ass. you know what wait a minute there is a more annoying dining experience wait i just remembered oh my god guys hold on to something duct tape yourself to a chair because i'm about to play you a story that is so annoying so uh so manipulative towards men that you're gonna freak this one might send you over the edge And believe me, I never use the B word, the bitch word. I may use it in comedy sketches, but I never call a woman that. I have four sisters.
Starting point is 00:06:05 I have a mother. I respect women. I love women. And that word to me is just a vile word. I've never out and out called a woman a bitch. I don't like it. I use the word beauch and bitch and some of my. bits for comedy effect, but
Starting point is 00:06:26 never use it seriously. But wait till you hear this next story, and this might be the first time ever that I pull the B word. Okay? Because with this girl dead, I have to say, sadly, makes
Starting point is 00:06:42 her a full-on, bea- all right? I won't even talk about let's get to it. Check out how this weasel, this Biash took a ride on the free boat and manipulated men to help her
Starting point is 00:07:02 through the tough economy. Check this out. One New York woman used Match.com to score $1,200 a month in free dinners. According to the business insider, 23-year-old Jessica Sporty was deep in debt. After her $1,400 a month rent and $500 a month on food, she couldn't make ends meet. So she decided to sign up for Match.com and went on five days
Starting point is 00:07:22 a week where each guy paid for her dinner. She even made a spreadsheet with all of her dates match.com profiles, so she would not go out with the same man twice. She went to fancy New York restaurants, and one date even bought her a $200 bottle of champagne. Now she's drawing so much negative attention on the web that the original post changed her name in the story. On social media, women are divided with one tweeting, quote, got to give it to her, but others saying it's, quote, the most annoying thing I have ever read. But men are mostly angry, admitting that what sporty did is, quote, their biggest fear. But scared men, don't you worry. Sporty is in a relationship now and no longer on the dating site. Sporty? How about shitty? How about shitty attitude?
Starting point is 00:08:04 How about shitty thing to do? Yeah. I'll keep the last part of your name, the Y part, and replace sport with shit. How about that? shitty? What a shitty thing to do, man. Can you believe it? she made a spreadsheet she planned it all out five nights a week and we're not talking like applebees we're talking like fancy new york restaurants man like we're probably talking these guys probably dropped 100 to 150 bucks a meal on this bia she right and now for convenience sake Oh, she's off the dating scene. Apparently now she's in a relationship. My ass.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Nice try shitty. Nice to wait to try and diffuse the bomb. Shitty. Shitty, shitty bang, bang. Unbelievable. Yeah. Can you imagine the loser that's going out with shitty? I mean, she's played her card.
Starting point is 00:09:15 She showed what she's made of. Talk about gold digger. Talk about. manipulative, talk about low life. And then some women have the nerve to tweet, oh, creative, way to go, smart move. Really, that's your attitude? It's a smart move to con people. You're going to side with that attitude.
Starting point is 00:09:41 How about this, whoever wrote that tweet? How about you take a man out to dinner and he conns you out of 200 bucks? Is it still a smart move, lady? Is it still clever? When you're the victim? Is it still, oh, what a smart, what a wonderful, smart, clever girl? I don't think so. Nobody should be subject to that type of behavior.
Starting point is 00:10:09 And I'm sorry, shitty, but times are tough for everybody. I'm sure even the guys that took you out for dinner were probably like, Oh, this is going to hurt a little, but, you know, she's cute. She sounded nice. You know, I'm going to roll the dice and buy her a nice dinner. And meanwhile, the whole time she's just sitting there. Oh, yeah. Give me that T-bone steak.
Starting point is 00:10:32 Oh, I'll have the lobster. Give me the pheasant under glass. Appetizers, sure. Bring me four. Maybe five. Yeah, I'll have the $200 bottle of, $200 bottle of champagne. Yeah. Hey.
Starting point is 00:10:46 and while she's eating all that delicious food, the gourmet food shoveling in her shitty pie hole, she's thinking about what she's going to be eating the next night with the next loser that she's got on her little play sheet. Oh, man. That is just maddening. That is, you know, life is hard enough. The dating scene is hard enough for men and women.
Starting point is 00:11:13 You know, the games people, people, play are hard enough even when you're in a healthy relationship there's gameplay there's always that little give and take there's that let's see how far i can push the other one let's see what can get away with let's let's see who has the power it never stops but uh to even go on a date at the very beginning the whole thing's just a big setup it's a ruse it's a con I mean, yeah, that would, that makes men mad. That gets my hairs up. You know, when you buy a woman dinner, usually that's a man saying,
Starting point is 00:11:58 hey, I like you, I respect you, I, I'm showing my affection for you. I'm showing my generosity. I'm showing that, you know, I have feelings for you. I want to be here with you. I'm, you know, whatever, a whole list of things. And yes, of course, there's probably the guys that are like, hey, buy you dinner, I hope I get some action, you know. But then you've got to look at the other side.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Maybe a woman's going out to dinner because she's like, hey, I like this guy, I'll let them take me to dinner. And maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get some good action. It can work both ways. But, you know, to do that here and there, it probably happens. Or you go out on a date and it doesn't work. You know, everyone's in. tensions are good, the dinner happens, and you just don't click.
Starting point is 00:12:48 I get it, but when you have a playbook and you have a graph and a chart and you have a strategy and you're doing it night after night, I don't wish food poisoning on anyone, but I hope this chick goes for sushi and swallows the most vile, putrid, toxic piece of blowfish or tuna. Ah, he, ah, he, or whatever it is. I just hope the thing's laced with mercury and she's puking her guts out for a week. That's karma, man. Have a nice, warm dish of karma. It's free, baby.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Oh, wait, it's not free. It turns sour when you treat people like shit, shitty. So there you go, man. Oh, I couldn't hold back on that topic. That stuff pisses me off. and it's just not it's not just what she did it's anyone in life why why you got to dupe people man like i said life is hard enough why you got to dupe people why you got to cheat people out of their their money out of their integrity out of their their blood sweat and tears up yours man
Starting point is 00:14:07 do unto others as i would have done unto thine self right next time you go go out with someone or you think you're going to dupe someone or cheat someone. Think about that. And not even in the, if you're, if you're all worried about religion as people seem to be these days. Oh my God, he's quoting religion. Well, why don't we just pretend Mark Twain wrote that line or Donald Trump or Mickey Mouse? Okay, it's a pretty simple line. Pretty simple application.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Do unto others as thou would have done unto thine self. Did I sound like God right there? I got to do that again. Put a little echo on there. And just so people don't get overwhelmed with the religious aspect, I will do it as Mickey Mouse, too. Ah, do unto others as thou would do unto thine self. There, see?
Starting point is 00:15:10 It's just the line. It should be a credo that we all live by. If you've got plans of duping someone, whether it's a friend or a foe, don't. Life's hard. Life's a struggle. You don't need to compound it by doing that stuff. Maybe that's the reason life's a struggle, because we're always worried about who's going to rip us off next. Just love.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Just love. Grab your partner and twirl around in the daisies and love them. Love them. If I ever get a whiff that a girl's pulling that stunt on me, man, oh, and, you know, I'm pretty perceptive, okay? I think I can count myself as a perceptive gentleman. I would drive her ass through the Arby's drive-thru so quickly. Hey, hey, how long you've been on Match.com?
Starting point is 00:16:09 Really? Oh, great. This is so great. We can meet up for dinner. Yeah, where are we going? going oh you know what we don't even have to get out of the car welcome to chick fillet shitty what hope you enjoy your semi-warm chicken patty with a pickle on it cost me 399 and by the way once you're finished get out you're walking home yeah i planned that all right there you go what are your
Starting point is 00:16:40 thoughts i hope i don't know i i i maybe you can argue with what I just said, but this one, I'm standing firm on it, man. That was just wrong. That wasn't clever. Let me know what you think. 888, 500, 2090. And, you know, let's hear from the men and the women on this one. It'd be interesting to see what you think.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Yeah, I got to go get something to eat. Uh, I'm going to take a little break. Uh, go on to Match.com and see if I can find a haughty. Pills, huh? It's a commercial the other night. They have pills for a thing called Restless Leg Syndrome. I'm sorry, man, but what is that? Restless Lice.
Starting point is 00:17:36 They have a picture of a lady sitting on her easy chair watching TV, and her legs are like twitching. Oh man What's next? A pill for I'm breathing too much I'd like to Maybe take
Starting point is 00:17:53 Four less breaths an hour Or My hand moved Can I get a pill for that I think I saw my hand move I walked up some stairs today Do you have any anti-walking up the stairs pills For me please
Starting point is 00:18:11 Itchy twitchy leg syndrome If your legs are going nuts 24 hours a day, have them so that they become detachable. Get surgery so you can take them off at night. Put them out in the garage and crush grapes. Start a vineyard, man. Twitchy leg wineries. Unscrew your legs at night. Put them in the garage and jump up and down on an old barrel full of grapes.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Put your itchy, twitchy legs to work. Oh, what a world. Oh, yeah, it is a world. It is a wacky world, man. I mean, from people conning us to selling us pills. And how about this? Have you seen this thing they're doing now? And it's not anything new, but they're discovering more and more of it.
Starting point is 00:19:03 The tunnels being built in Mexico that are going under the ground? Well, I guess, Harlan, you said tunnel. We get it. It's underground. dumbass. Okay, sorry. Why are you talking to yourself? I don't know, because there's no one else here.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Okay, well, you're still a dumbass. Thank you. May I continue? Yes, you may. They're building underground tunnels, these drug cartels that are very, very elaborate. They're more and more elaborate all the time.
Starting point is 00:19:37 I saw one on the news the other night. It had a trolley car and a toll booth underground. And then once you get past the toll booth, there was a snack bar and a theme park. You could take a break, put your bundle of marijuana down and go on a merry-go-round and a roller coaster. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order.
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Starting point is 00:21:13 Have fun. Don't throw your back out. And there's a Motel 6 under there. So if you want a place to leave the kids, while you're picking up your bundle and continuing on through your tunnel. All right, they're not that elaborate, but I mean, they're crazy.
Starting point is 00:21:30 They're getting longer, and they're getting bigger, and they've got air ducts in them, where they're pumping fresh oxygen down. They've got lighting in them. I mean, it's crazy. The ingenuity that goes into these things. The engineering that goes into these things. I mean, it is unreal.
Starting point is 00:21:53 And you've got to wonder how much grass goes through these tunnels, how much contraband, how much heroin, how much whatever, how many illegal aliens. What's moving through these tunnels before they're figured out? And every year they find some. So you've got to wonder how many haven't they found? It is scary, man. The quest to get drugs into this country, the hunger, the need, the market for it is ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:22:32 But, you know, these guys will stop at nothing. They don't care. You got your fat cats at the top who live in the mansions. in the hills down in the heart of Mexico. And they're like, yeah, get those eight guys who make $12 a year and tell them we'll give them $20 a year if they mule back. Big bundles of dope underground. Human gophers.
Starting point is 00:23:03 You know, we'll send them to the dentist. We'll get their front teeth stretched. All right? We'll put hair plugs all. over their bodies, tell them to grow their fingernails, and let's put some whiskers in their cheeks, and we'll just feed them cheese and roots, and we'll turn them into human gophers. And then before long, they can actually dig the tunnels with their faces and their claws and their teeth.
Starting point is 00:23:34 God. I mean, it's horrible, man. and it's scary the the level people go to to fill the need and no no value on what's right no value on the law no value put on what's moral it's just like hey man I'm here I'm living let's see what I can get out of this turkey let's see how much money I can make before I die Who cares if I, if I cause a kid to get addicted to drugs or ruin a family or people get shot in the street because they're fighting?
Starting point is 00:24:15 No, I don't care. This is all about me, man. Wasn't this planet? Didn't God create this world for me? I think so. Or you got the other, oh, you know, I'm not doing anything wrong. You know, if they want to buy it, I'm just filling a need. Or hey, man.
Starting point is 00:24:36 It grows out of the earth, man. It's a, you know, it's a natural thing. I'm not doing anything wrong. It's the cops that have the problem. Well, sure, they have a problem. We live in a society where there's rules. There has to be rules for things to function. I know, believe me, I'm a bit of a free spirit.
Starting point is 00:24:55 I don't love the rules. In fact, I've kind of bent the rules my whole life, but I don't break the law. And you're like, ah, rules, shmoo. rules you know i was like no i don't know if you live in a house but uh if you have kids do you train your kids to go pee in the toilet or do you say you know what junior piss all over the living room there's no rules here screw the rules you want to throw your dinner on the wall and mush it into the wallpaper go ahead well you're at it why don't you light your bedroom on fire i don't need the rules oh sure all these people that
Starting point is 00:25:36 disregard the rules it's fine and dandy until it steps on their world kind of like uh we got a theme here going with the the selfish girl shitty shitty shitty shitty bang bang it's all about how would you like it if it happened to you type of thing but these guys these people don't look at that they're just out to get what they can get man they're like they're like people running through Walmart on Black Friday. Like, oh my God, give me this, give me that, give me that. I got to have that. Who cares what anyone else?
Starting point is 00:26:10 I'm going to trample everyone to get what I need. Civility, man. Structure, rules. They're slowly dissolving. They are slowly, maybe not even slowly. And then the bigger picture is on. almost like, so they catch these people mulling drugs through the underground. And, you know, it doesn't even seem that the penalties that severe anymore.
Starting point is 00:26:44 You know what? You probably buy, you know, 40, 50,000 bundles of weed to there. Yeah, you're getting two years. Or you know what, better yet, we're going to deport you. How about that punishment? You're not allowed to come back to this country anymore. Ha ha, ha, we got you. guys there the next day digging a new tunnel climbing a new wall whatever it never stops
Starting point is 00:27:09 but it's just falling apart man it almost like it seems like we do need to rewrite the rule book don't we and make things very simple i don't know it's it's uh it's getting weird man i hope uh you're uh part of the solution and not part of the solution and not part of the problem i hope you people listening and i mean this sincerely i hope you look at your lives you look at yourself and when you wake up every day you go i'm not going to hurt anyone today i'm not going to rip anyone off i'm not going to manipulate anyone in fact if i see someone in need i might i will try and help that person or uh i will try to do something good that benefits everyone and i don't mean that in a hippie-dippy granola way, but just in a simple, practical way.
Starting point is 00:28:06 Look for the ways to do better in life and improve things in life as opposed to getting sucked into the other way, which doesn't benefit anyone, but yourself, really, if you're the one perpetuating the whole self-indulgent looking out for yourself deal. there you go not my words really just maybe the the words of of humankind right there i think that's a practical approach for humankind to uh get along survive and treat each other right i can't i can't claim all that business what i just said that that's just inherent and i think what happens is sometimes that goodness in people gets overshadowed by the pressures and the The influence that comes at us in life.
Starting point is 00:29:05 And, you know, just be aware of it. Be on top of it. Take care of yourself. Take care of everyone else. Bingo. Oh, wow. I felt good. Now, I think I'm going to go break into my neighbor's house and make myself a sandwich.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Um, okay. Really not a good ending to that little bit. Wow. Wow. See, the forces are always at play, man. Woo! Look out. Yeah, look out indeed. Wonderbread, salami, and mayonnaise. No, I'm not going to break into my neighbor's house. I did that yesterday. But speaking of breaking in, I got a funny story for you. I actually called 911 yesterday. can you believe it in my actually this plays into what I was just saying um I was out at a meeting
Starting point is 00:30:05 and I drove back home and I'm driving up my street and I think like everyone else you kind of when you've lived somewhere long enough like 10 years or more you kind of get a feel for who's in the neighborhood you kind of you know get a visual on who the cast of characters are who the people are, who's there. And you actually get familiar with a lot of the faces you see and the vibe of the neighborhood. And when something different happens, some kind of anomaly appears, you kind of notice it.
Starting point is 00:30:45 It sticks out because you're like, wait a minute, who's that? Or what's that or what's going on? And so yesterday I'm driving home, and I think it was around like 2 o'clock in the afternoon and out in the middle of the street well not in the middle but walking up the side of the street were these two gentlemen and they were kind of dressed up
Starting point is 00:31:09 you know kind of wearing like nice pants and nice shirt and a tie and one of them actually had a jacket on and they were let me say this they were dressed up to the best of their ability In other words, they didn't have great dress-up clothes, but they were dressed up to the best that they could be dressed up.
Starting point is 00:31:31 And to the point where it looked kind of lame, it looked kind of bad. It was a mishmash of, you know, dress clothes that didn't really match, didn't really work. But you can tell they were kind of putting it on. And it was a tall black gentleman, kind of thin build. and another black gentleman, kind of a huskier guy, with a mohawk. Okay? And they're kind of wandering up the street,
Starting point is 00:32:03 and they've got these kind of clothes that they have on that just don't seem to match anything. And then they've got a clipboard in their hand, and they're kind of like walking around looking semi-lost or trying to look very casual. But let me put it this way. This is a street that normally you don't see people walking on, okay, because it's a busy artery, it's the main street,
Starting point is 00:32:32 it goes up a steep hill, and normally people just don't walk it because it's busy. And I mentioned that the gentlemen were black, and for whatever reason, I don't care if you're black, Asian, Indian, Eskimo, anyone can live in my neighborhood, but for whatever reason I live in a neighborhood, I don't know why, but I don't see a lot of black people in the neighborhood. I think there's a gentleman that lives a few doors up from me that's black.
Starting point is 00:33:00 One of my neighbors is black on the other side. But as far as I know, I think there's only like four or five black people in the neighborhood. And these guys weren't them. And they didn't fit in. The clothing seemed forced. The clothing didn't seem to match. you know, a guy in a tie and a suit and a mohawk. And we've had trouble in the neighborhood before where there's every few years,
Starting point is 00:33:28 there seems to be a series of break-ins. And every few years, they seem to happen when these guys have been spotted in the neighborhood. Okay? You're following me? And I think what they're doing is they're posing as Jehovah's Witnesses, or I've had ones that I've actually stopped and talked to, and they pretend they're like selling a magazine subscription or something that's just not really done anymore.
Starting point is 00:33:56 We have the Internet. Who walks around and sells magazine subscriptions door to door? Or collects for charities door to door. You just don't get the door-to-door thing anymore. And when you got two guys that look completely out of place with Mohawks and clothes, they look like they picked up at the Salvation Army, the red flags went off immediately. And I'm like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:34:20 I have neighbors that have been robbed. I've seen it. I'm not going to let it happen. And these guys might be completely innocent. I don't know their story. Maybe they are Jehovah's witnesses. Maybe they're a Mohawk wearing Jehovah. Praise B.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Right? But I'm like, you know, there's no harm in the cops rolling up and saying, hey, gentlemen, what are you doing in the neighborhood? Who are you? What are you looking for? And so as I said, I drove up at 2 o'clock, and I saw them, and right away, I was like, oh, this doesn't look good. But I let it go. I was like, okay, maybe they're just guys, I shouldn't be judgmental, whatever, wandering around, what are they up to?
Starting point is 00:35:05 So then I went home. I was at home for like an hour and a half, almost two hours, and then I had to go out to another meeting. So I roll back down the street, and there they are. they're still wandering around in the same general area but now now dusk has happened or dawn or whatever I don't know what it is whenever the sun goes down look at me I don't even know that when this when sun go down they can get dark there's my caveman talk and uh and now they were standing on the porch of a house where no lights were on clearly nobody was home And they're standing there, and I drive by, and they're looking around very suspiciously like,
Starting point is 00:35:52 ooh, I hope this guy doesn't see me. I saw them. And I said, that's it. This is completely out of context. Who are these guys? Something ain't right. I'm looking out for my neighbor. I called 911.
Starting point is 00:36:07 And I told them. I said, look, I'm suspicious. Suspicious activity in the neighborhood. And I had a. I had them, like, send out some cruisers. Now, I don't know if they ever caught up to the guys. I don't know if they found them. But, you know, I was looking out for my neighbor.
Starting point is 00:36:29 I was like, you know what? I wouldn't want my place broken into if, in fact, these guys are thieves. I don't want my neighbor broken into. Those guys don't deserve to disrupt the person's life. And so I took a moment and tried to make a difference. And let me just close by saying, I'm not judging these guys. I'm just saying you go on your instinct when things kind of stick out. You know, bells and whistles go off and you're suspicious.
Starting point is 00:36:57 You're allowed to be suspicious. And based on that suspicion, I was proactive. And I thought, you know what? Let the cops talk to them see what's up. If they're Jehovah's and they're good guys, God bless you be on your way. If you're looking for trouble, I hope you got stopped. Oh, there you go. What a fun show today.
Starting point is 00:37:22 All kinds of weird. This kind of went in a weird place. It's a fun place. But speaking of stopping, we're at the end. I even went a little overboard here. Went a little long today. You're like, great, we noticed, Williams, thanks. Just about nodded off about eight times.
Starting point is 00:37:41 thanks for uh but who cares i have to get it out and uh speaking of getting it out oh my god are you kidding me are you kidding me why don't you get out and i don't mean like get out of my life i mean why don't you get out and uh come and see me uh next week in indianapolis i will be at Crackers Broad Ripple. Great Comedy Club in Indianapolis. That'll be Thursday, December 15th, 16th, and 17th. Get your tickets, and it's my last kick of the year. It's going to be a blast.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Don't forget to check out Harlem Williams.com where you can write me or if you want to call the Harland Highway answering machine 888-52090, leave your comments, questions, and underpants. What? And that's it, man. That's all we got. Don't forget your Christmas present is coming.
Starting point is 00:38:51 On Monday, we are going to post live on the Internet on YouTube, my little Christmas present to you, the latest episode of my animated cartoon, The Cock, the Ass, and the Pussy, which is not section. It's about a rooster, a donkey, and a cat. And you can see that cartoon at YouTube.com backslash cap cartoon. And there's already a couple of episodes up there,
Starting point is 00:39:24 but the one coming on the 12th, I think, is the best one yet. Our little series is still kind of finding its legs, and I feel like it's getting better and better. And I can definitely say part three is probably the funniest one yet. hopefully you check that out. Check me out in Indianapolis on the 15th, 16th, and 17th. And that's it, man. Be good. Be happy. And buy someone some lunch. Make yourself feel good, but not a gold digger. All right, that's it. I'm done. Thank you so much for being here. Tell your friends, And until next time, a big free bowl from me to you of chicken.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Chalmayne, baby. Charlie Lee got a rice cake.

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