The Harland Highway - RICK GLASSMAN gets super deep with his philosophies and his cute little dog. Maybe too deep!

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

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Hi, I'm Danny L'Priori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where ORA comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and keeps it off. It also monitors the dark web, safeguards your device.

devices, or alerts you to real-time threats and more. Start your free trial at ora.com slash control. That's a-U-R-A-com slash control for your free trial. Hey, folks, we have a show for you today, and we have a special guest. We have a little doggy, and just so you know, no animals were hurt or abused in this episode. It's all simulation. It's all fun. No, nothing was touched.

or violated. It's just a simulation for comedy effect. Hope you dig it. Hope you enjoy the little critter. Hope you have fun on today's show. Don't forget to subscribe to the Harland Highway podcast. And please don't forget to check out our merchandise. We have coffee mugs.

We have stickers for your computers. We have t-shirts. We got all the Harland Highway stuff you need. Have a great time. And Chuck E. Cheese forever. Don't even know what that meant. Let's watch the show. Time is everything.

It's nothing. It's just we are energy, man. Wow. Yeah. You know what I took away from that is the positivity in your dissection of that because it was very bleak. And if you could, are you licking his asshole? Okay.

And for you to find that, in those words, dissect it. and communicate it to people to help them cope with it and in the next breath or then the next lick be servicing your dog's anus. Yeah. It's just, it's a mind-blower. Thank you. Dude. Thank you.

You're riding down the Harland Highway. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Harland Williams. Oh my gosh, he's so cute. he's I could see him in the thing he's so cute I love him so much you know you're talking like a girl right now right

like that's there's dog talking and then there's like funny guy stuff oh I'm just saying you just want to be aware do you use these or negatory you want me to be aware of them or not whoa nice word play guy

thanks nice cans Thanks. I just got them enlarged. Oh, nice. Welcome back to another, for Harlan. I was off the old son. He'll be it going for Harlan Williams. That's how a lot of musicians write. Like, they don't come up with the words yet.

They just come up with the melody and the beats of the melody. I know, but that was the perfect intro, and then you ruined it with the explanation. Harley and William. Can you just do the thing you do? Welcome back to another episode of Hardland Highway. We got to go with a special guest to Rick and home, Harlan Williams. That's right, mm-hmm.

You nailed it. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. You're on the Hallen Highway, okay. And Rick Glassman is here. And what a treat to have you here, my guy. Try to not say that word too much. What word? T-R-E-A-T.

Oh, because of knuckleberry dumpal flumps. What's his name? What was the last word? Knuckleberry Dumpel flumps? Yeah, yeah. Where do you come up with that dog name? Well, his name is Alvin. Oh.

Oh, I got that wrong. Yeah. Well, who's knuckleberry dumplumps? His dad. Oh, okay. And his dad is a, it was probably a really nice pug. So I'm looking at this dog and I'm thinking Chihuahua pug mix. Yeah.

Yeah, his dad's a Chihuahua and his mom's Jewish. It's a chug, right? That's what I found out they're called. Yeah, a chug. they go over graded fraternities they come out of there with a smile yeah wow it's good to be back uh great to see you my guy did i drop my oh here we go um i wanted to talk to ricky d today i wanted to talk about something g sorry ricky g um oh my god isn't it funny the way they swirl around and comfortable the audio only people don't don't get to oh just for reference the audio only people

just for roughness yeah yeah uh they don't get to know oh he's licking his anus oh my gosh was he licking his anus he's cleaning the bottom of his tail well that's where the anus is yeah so i think he's cleaning his anus yeah that funny that dogs don't ever need toilet paper humans don't need toilet paper either if they have a bidet unless except for to dry it or if they're good at yoga yeah true i mean just that the money you would save in your life if you could just lick your anus clean my guess is probably 60 bucks a year add that up over what's the average age of a man 85 you're looking if you can lick your anus you're looking at a savings of 60 68 000 a year in a lifetime well um can i just put that into context

You could buy a Prius by licking your anus with the money you save. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, but that's an important stat. Yeah. Or what would you buy with your anus money? I shouldn't put Priuses on people, but with your licked anus money, what would you buy? I mean, you're talking 60 bucks a year times 85 years. You're at $5,100.

I would use that money to get my tits done. Are you cereal? I like the way your cans just got. increased. Yeah, I got them injected. Yep. I got mine injected with, oh, you know? Yeah. Okay. I got Budweiser put in mind. And I have nipple taps. I almost named my doggy wiser so I could say this is my Budweiser. No way. Oh, my goodness, this is my bud wiser. Oh, my gosh, I love. Oh, you're in love. I, you are, I, he's the sweetest. Have you, have you sleep with them at night? Oh, yeah. He doesn't sleep in bed with me. Right. What do you do? Like, you spoon and

what was that with your eyebrows? I'm just, uh, you know what I'm saying. Are we talking coitus? No, he's a doggy. He's a little boy. Well, they are good at doggy style. That's built in. Yeah. Right. So, I mean, if humans could, we're joking. Yeah, yeah, obviously. He would, never have sex with his dog, but if you could have sex with your dog, they are the best of doggy style in the whole, like, animal kingdom. Like, they practically invented it. Yeah, but them doing it to you, not you doing it to them. Right. Right. Do you do, oh, do you over-ununciate right the way I do? Right. Right. Right. Right. Do you practice doggy style in your personal life? I know that's a bit of a leading question that's quite personal.

but is that something you engage in during sexual coitus? And this wasn't my planned opening question, but we can just get that out of the way and then move on. Yes. You do? Yes. Do you enjoy it? Well, traditionally, if I'm making, you call it coitus,

is that what you want to call it? Coitus or sexual intercourse? Yeah, if I'm having sex with somebody, I'm having sex because I enjoy them and I like them. Right. So it's not specifically the, doggy style that I necessarily like so much, as much as the connection of me and them. Oh.

And, but doggy style is fun. I think of positions in general, doggy style included, as kind of like sauces with my fries, right? Sex is fries. Right. Curly or flat, though? It depends on how much I like the girl. Right.

And genetics. Yeah. And oils. Mm-hmm. Preferably not a seed oil. No. Flack seed oil maybe or a. Uh-uh.

Oh, talk to me about oils, Guy. I find that if you're going to be healthy but also, like, sustainable, price-wise, I'm okay with a peanut oil. Nice. Penis oil works good when you're having sex. Yeah. Great choice. So, in different positions are just, like, different sauces.

And one might like one sauce better than another. So flavor. Yeah. So you turn a woman around or man, it doesn't matter. It really doesn't. Well, it does to me. But I'm saying there's some people that will turn a man around. Yeah, but that's not, to me it matters.

Well, you're from a different generation. Yeah. Your whole thing is afraid of being afraid of gay stuff. Right, right. And being thought that way. I mean terrified. Yes. Yeah.

Yes. Now, when you grab her bottom or her waist, what were you going to ask? When you do the dog, when you engage in the doggy style, do you have a tennis ball in your mouth? Can't hear you one sec. Sorry. What did you say? When you engage in. in the doggie style do you have a tennis ball in your mouth you don't like the ball like no it pops out

and then no okay you i like someone to throw a ball it just creates more movement and if you're gonna do doggy style look you're either in or you're out well and then you're in again and then you're out and that's how it works yeah well great and i'm glad we had this talk off the top because you know you're one of my friends who if you don't mind me saying this term you run a little deeper you run a little deeper than the average cat as our friendship or as a human being and uh normally i don't reference my notes but because you run a little deeper i wanted to explore with you you you kind of have a philosophical mind you like to run beneath the layers you you run a little deeper than the average guy that's a compliment.

And so I wondered if you had a favorite quote, like a favorite philosophical quote, something of depth that maybe guided you in your life or just was a point of reference or just something you liked. Oh, that's great. Yeah, it's a great question. There's a lot of them, I guess. Okay. Eleanor Roosevelt said nobody can make you feel inferior without your own consent.

She said that right before getting fucked, by the way. Doggy style? Okay. Was there a ball? I don't know. Is she into? I don't know. Okay.

But there are, a lot of people are into, like, ball gags kind of stuff. I like gags. No, I mean a tennis ball. Dogs love a ball. Yeah, no, I understand what you say. But you like gags. Like, like, goofs and gags. So you're a comedian, so you'd want to have ball and gag sex.

I don't always mix my sex with my jokes, but they're not mutually exclusive. Okay. Sometimes it's okay to laugh in the bedroom. Laughing and coming is kind of like, um, Sneezing and farting. Isn't that called a schnart? What would laughing and the other one be? A chug.

Well, that's your dog. Interesting. That's a great, the Eleanor Roosevelt quote. Roosevelt. Well, it's my show. What would, and is there any other ones? There's tons of them. Yeah, there's tons of.

But one that resonates with you, know if resonates a word necessarily a lot of my viewers know that you like that baseball pitchers or bowlers use to dry their hands before picking up the right and it's illegal in baseball by the way you cannot resonate your hands or you will be um pictures pictures have resin bags don't they yeah but some of them are filled with the illegal stuff and i noticed that while you're talking about philosophical stuff you're often using the word fill yeah and is that a conscious choice well i used to use the word excavate but uh That was when I was talking to construction workers about philosophy.

And it just, I don't know, it doesn't translate to lay people like you. Now, when you were dating Kavit, did you enjoy her? Or do you like her better now that she's your excavate? I think I like her better as my excavate because she got rid of a lot of my old crap. You know, she just got it out of there, took the old luggage. Yeah. but any other quotes besides Teddy Roosevelt that sure sure I'm paraphrasing because I don't I love that you ever get up so high you hit a bird no no you're thinking of Paris

paragliding I was actually thinking of Paris Hilton but you go ahead like being on like like the penthouse floor gliding on her oh yeah well um Mark Twain uh who's one of my best friends yeah by the way, said that being wrong isn't a problem. It's thinking that you're right when it just ain't so. You know, like, I've often felt that a lot of people, a lot of people will give you an answer because they don't want to say, I don't know, or they don't believe, they don't recognize that they don't know.

Right. So instead of being sure of something you're unsure of, just be unsure of it. Fascinating, yeah. You know, I like that right before having sex too. Is that right? You know what I'd like about Twain? There was a simplicity about him.

Her, about how she's not impressed much. Is that what you're talking about? No, Mark Twain. Not Shania. Understood. Yeah. Shania was the singer. Twain was the writer.

Twain was the writer. And Twain would sing. Okay. Okay. That's why they called him Twain and Twain, because he would sing in a very funny way. Mark Twain was in his real name. Mark Twain is what you say Twain is a depth of,

depth of, I don't remember, 10 meters, 20 meters, depth of water. And he was a riverboat driver. Back then, like, it was really cool to be a river drone. And once you're able to bring the boat out into the water, it's called the Mark Twain. Like, Mark the Twain. And that's just like what became like a nickname of his. I don't know his real name. I think it was caboose because the rest of his family was the Twain.

And he was the youngest kid, so he was always coming up at the end. Wow. Do you want to start any rumors about people that are gay or, like, Something like that. Gay? Yeah. Okay. Name a gay person.

I'll start a rumor. Pick one. Well, Mark Twain was famously secretly gay. Straight. What do you mean? Starting a rumor. That what? He was straight.

I don't know if he was gay. The rumor I'm trying to do is that people think he was. Oh, because I thought he was gay and you said start a rumor. And the only rumor he could start about a gay person is that they were straight. I was starting the rumor. I think okay try a different one then because I think I've royally fucked that one out

Bill Bellamy gay Oh Bill Bellamy's gay Eric Clapton gay Donald Phazon gay

Marcus Houston gay our dad's gay Eric Roberts actually that's a real one recently came out as gay Oh, man, that's Eric Roberts.

That's a good Eric Roberts. Yeah, he's, I'm married. I got it. Yeah. That's a good Eric Roberts. That's Eric Roberts and best of the best. And that was when he was straight. I just did him when he was straight.

Yeah. I don't know how to do the gay. I think it's, oh, man, he, shit. Or whatever. Do people's voices. Are you bisexual? Go ahead. Uh, what?

What were you going to ask? You said, am I bisexual and then give head? No, no, no. I was saying, are you bisexual? And then I was saying, you go ahead. Oh, I thought you said, are you bisexual, give head. And I was like, well, do I get a chance to answer? Asser.

I barely know. All right. So you wanted to ask me some philosophical stuff? Yeah. This is, I love the, you know, most of the people that come on the show and most of the people watching the show, they don't really get under the layers. Oh, look, it's like a smoothie. When you twirl your dog around, it's like a slow motion smoothie.

Interesting. I was picturing naming my, if I had a girl dog that was always here, I was going to name her Susan. Which sounds like smoothie if you have a cleft. flip oh look at that my little lazy susan oh just swirling around like a chug smoothie yeah have you ever thrown a dog in a blender like a like one of those teacup the toy dogs almost they call them no real small you just toss them in a blender and make a smoothie no okay what do you call that like a puppy swirl like a morning puppy swirl just to get your day going sometimes when I laugh

at you, you get really thrown off. I've noticed you do that with other people, too. When you say something that makes people laugh, you get, like, really offended. It's a nice thing. I know, but, you know, it's weird because as people know, I have 12 or 13 listeners, like Tony toenail twat

down in Alabama and Barry. Oh, Tony's over here, but Barry's over there. Barry blow up lips over in Tennessee. And I try to conduct a professional podcast I don't know if you know this or not, but this goes out all over the globe. And most podcasts are regional. Hey, folks, I want to take a minute to talk about Mando. Yes, indeed.

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Let's go, Mando. Stinko, Elgano, hello, Mando. And now back to the show-o. They take place, you know, in a city. or a town, but I'm on YouTube, and my podcast goes globally all over the world. And to have maybe a listener in each country or maybe not, but for example, we have Perry Penicillin down in Dallas, Texas. We have Charlene chocolate chip face down in. in San Diego so it makes sense to me yeah but let's dip back into this deep conversation because

I really get a deepie I call it this is called a deepie can I um read you a few philosophical quotes and see how you know you react how they make you feel if they tap into your depth yes uh here's one and I'm not going to attach a name to them because what are you doing what did you do did you do a silent fart. No, I just. That grin on your face. I thought you did a popcorn fart. No, no, no. A cucumber salad silenced bomb. What's a cucumber salad silence bomb? It's like when you do it, it's like almost an inverted, like the fart creeps out and then sucks back in and then it goes out. Oh, like a backdraft. So yeah, exactly. I thought those is called the backdoor backdraft. No, that's a cucumber salad. What's the difference in a backdoor backdraft and it's cucumber salad summer bump? Because the

backdraft one is named after an actual technical fire. But I'm saying, saying what's not why they named. I'm saying what's a difference. One burns. The backdrop one will burn. Like you'll actually, you'll see smoke coming off your shing day in his hairs. Yeah, it's a toughie. Um, excuse me. So let's see, uh, here we get into it. Yeah, ready? I have three. I'd just like to see, because you're deeper than most of my listeners. I'd like to, I didn't mean to startle you guy. Chug off. Uh, here we're, uh, here. we go. Oh my gosh. Ready? Time is wiser. Hold on. Go ahead. Time is wiser than the deepest thought. Time is. Now you think about it for a second. Okay. Time is wiser. Time is wiser than the deepest

thought. I like that. Go on. Okay. But this is a whole quote. I understand, but I just need to break it down piece by piece. You need to process it piece by piece. Yeah, it's written a little poetic. So I want to like kind of like picture it. This is why I wanted to. pick your brain because you're the type of guy that would break it down. Everyone else would just like, I don't know, reminds me of ice cream. Right. Time is wiser than the deepest thought. Time is more endless than endless love.

Time knows no attachments. Time is loyal to none. Yet. Time lives beyond death. Time is never done. Love it. Does it? That's from Eleanor Rigby.

You don't have to quote it. I know the album. it's beautiful. The Beatles song? Yeah. Is that what it's from? Yeah. The album.

I don't remember. Oh, wow. Yeah, the B-side. Okay. Cool. What does it represent anything? I mean, may I?

You could fold it. I'll only look at that one. Well, why don't I read it again? I think it's more effective if I read it for my viewers. They like, they love when I read. I do a global podcast that goes all over the world,

Scotland. Okay. Bermuda. That's heard in Bermuda, of my podcast. So time is deeper than the deepest thought. Time is wiser than the deepest thought. Okay. So what that means to me is we're looking at time in two categories. There's the literal meaning of time, which also, by the way, could have many different meanings. But as we know it in a three-dimensional universe, time though is a fourth dimension. To us, it's something that either comes

through us or we go through. It's a unit of measurement. As far as humans are concerned, how we could quantify it, right? So we're looking at it this way, but we could also look at it more abstract. We could look at time as something that is tangible. Right. And in those two things, like even what you're doing now, you're checked, you watch to make sure time has passed. But is it the time passing that lets this be done so you don't have to listen to it? Or is it that you have to get through it and it costs your time? You know, a lot of people think of time as something that just moves, we just got to get past if you're having a bad time or that you want to preserve if you're having a good time. But the truth is, we aren't moving through time. We're right here.

Time is moving through us. And if we don't move on our own, we're not going to grow and change. So if we move through time, that's how we end up developing things. Because time is so wise, it knows, time could do its job with us not doing anything. And you could stay in the same clothes, in the same house, in the same room and learn nothing new and just sit there in a, but that's not going to stop time from doing its thing right time is always wise that is its design however it is for us to move through so the deepest thought hi i'm danny lopriori ever get the feeling you're being watched online it's not paranoia it's data brokers these companies collect your personal information including your browsing habits where you live and even who

you're related to and they sell it to the highest bidder That's where ORA comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and keeps it off. It also monitors the dark web, safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at ORA.com slash control. That's A-U-R-A-com slash control for your free trial. The deepest we could be, right, is moving forward in time, but not as quickly as time moves forward through us. So read the next one?

And that's the answer for just the first line. There's about six more. Just going to skip to the end line, if you don't mind. Well, you didn't need to do the one of the four as well. So the first line was time is wiser than the deep. Read it all again. Read it all again. Time is if you could just encapsulate it. Yeah, the whole thing. That's great.

I love the way you can take all the words and, you know, time is wiser than the deepest thought. Time is more endless than endless love. time knows no attachments time is loyal to none time lives beyond death time is never done go if we're able to look at our higher selves and remove the ego not that ego doesn't serve its purpose but just if we could take her ego away and we be connected to not just our brethren but energy and life in general, not just on this planet, but energy of this universe. If not bigger, it's finite. We are time.

We are particles of exploded stars that because of time gifted us a short period of time. But it's all just, it's wise, it doesn't die, it's not attached to us. and the problem I feel is we feel we're attached to it. We need more time. We don't have enough time. We're so attached to this thing called time. But if we understand time is deeper than the deepest thought, it knows no attachment, it needs no love, and it's always there, well, that's such a blessing.

We have the time. All of us. Let us share it. Wow. See? Yeah. Dude, that was beautiful. Thank you.

It was very deep. It was very thoughtful. And not as deep. It made sense. It's time itself. Wow. Can we do the second one? That was honestly, I love that answer.

Thank you. You're welcome. That was exactly what I would. I knew you'd have a great take on it. Are you spread eagling your dog? Are you kissing? Are you licking your dog's chestnuts? I have toilet paper if you want.

Oh, no. You know what I love about you is you can be so. It's a lot of things. Well, you can be so eloquent and deep in one breath. And in the next breath, you're licking your dog's testicles. And it's just the richness, the depth. Thank you. Oh, thank you.

Let's do the next one. You ready for another one? I don't want to drain your brain, but this is, I knew you'd have a deep take. I love the depth. To understand our lives, we must realize we are nothing. When we accept we are nothing, we can become something, something that ultimately is nothing. I zoned out a little bit. I think that's the white album, though. Go ahead. Oh, do you want to hear it again?

Yes. To understand our lives, we must realize we are nothing. When we accept we are nothing, we can then become something, something that is ultimately nothing. Right. So this is actually interesting. what this reads to me is, is the subjectivity of ourself, the idea that we are at least two versions of ourselves. There's who we are in our subconscious that we are unaware of, and there's who we want to be and who we sell to others. And it isn't until we, what is the exact line, the first one? Sure. Let me get my glasses on. To understand our lives, we must realize we are nothing.

Right. So in order to find that equilibrium of who we truly are versus who we are trying and think we want to be, we have to remove them. And once we remove them and there's nothing, that's actually what we are. There's no more subconscious that we are unaware of and this fictitious facade that we're trying to sell. We are just nothing. And once we are that nothing, that's when we discover what we actually are. Now, nothing doesn't mean zero. Nothing isn't a very. Nothing isn't a version of nil. Even in binary, zero is something. Somebody's lack of response to you is them still communicating something to you. It's at its rawest form. And as we realize this nothing that we are, we are able to accept what we are. Here's what it is. And the truth is that thing is still

nothing. And not in a bad way. In an honest way, as we were speaking of time, time is everything. It's nothing. It's just we are energy, man. Wow. Yeah. You know what I took away from that is the positivity in your dissection of that because it was very bleak. And if you could, are you licking his asshole? Okay. Again, do you need some mouthwash or anything? No. The depth of what you did, like to go from breaking down,

most people might walk around feeling an emptiness of void, nothingness. And for you to find that, in those words, dissect it and communicate it to people to help them cope with it and in the next breath or then the next lick be servicing your dog's anus. Yeah. It's just, it's a mindblower. Thank you. Dude. I'm always afraid to do the third one. We don't have to do it. Oh, yeah. Dude, we're going so deep. Sure. I mean, this is like Maryland and Chambers just fell down a well. Yeah, I get that. I get the reference.

Well, I'd rather you didn't. Okay. Here's the third one. A man who seeks answers. Funny. You are, I see the theme. Wait a minute, what? Abby Road.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Is that from Abby Road? Yeah, like a highway. I get what you're doing. Oh, I see. Go ahead. Sure.

A man who seeks answers is a man screaming in the wind. Oh. A man that waits for answers is a man that has nowhere to begin. A man that is the answer, neither seeks or waits, he merely is. One more time. A man who seeks answers is a man screaming in the wind. A man that waits for answers is a man that has nowhere to begin. A man that is the answer, neither seeks or waits, he merely is. So to me, what that's saying is, we all have three versions. Sorry, I just... Oh, yeah.

No, when I throw them off too much, I get a kink, and then I have to, my chiropractor, it's called the Flamingo exercise, and sorry, go ahead. It's okay. Yeah, thank you. So there's answers could be literally answers. It could be things that we want. Answers is just a variable for the thing, right? Okay.

A job, a relationship, a child, health, money, food. They're all versions of answers. kind of like, what do you want to watch today? That's a question. The answer is whatever it is that we decide, right? Right. And a lot of times we think that answers are decisions. And sometimes answers are given to us.

For example, what's your name? That's an answer that's given to us. What do you want to eat? That's a decision. And there's these different versions of answers. There's not just those two. There's actually three. There's those that seek answers yelling into the wind.

Right. There's those that wait for the answers, okay? Which they don't know where to begin. Right. And then there's those that, are the answers. And what's that saying is you want to be the answer. You don't want to seek it. You don't want to wait for it. But I don't agree with that. It's great to be an answer because once you have your answer, you have it. I often say that answers are easy and questions are hard.

Because if you don't know what to ask, you won't find that answer. But once you get that answer, you are that answer. And that's great. Are you satisfied? Do you not want to grow? Do you not want to learn and more. Sometimes we need to seek an answer. Sometimes we shouldn't because we just need to let go of control. And in those moments, we need to wait for an answer. Should I ask if you're doing De Niro, or should I wait to hear your voice? It's picked up on it. Or are you, De Niro? I don't know. Are you eating his asshole again? Wow. Dude.

like how do you bounce your mind just for my viewers if you could take us through it how does your mind wrap around the depth of that question explode with this beautiful flowerful answer go to places most of us can't get to and then in the next breath you're eating dog ass Hey Jude No thanks, I'm busy I guess to answer your question that you're seeking Or should I say yelling in the wind I'm just present

And after that's done I see a delicious dog asshole and I take a bite What's it taste like? For those of us that have never licked a dog ass What does it taste like? The first note to me is always fritos or corn chips but i associate corn chips with ed's fritos um and then there's a little bit of poo a little like a splash of poo like did somebody fart not somebody farted right okay so

mostly fritos fritos fritos it with a splat hint of poo yeah like somebody farted in a bag of fritos that would make a nice hand soap like a hand you know you get we should talk to gwyneth paltrow and it's and instead of calling a goop we could just call it poop yeah You know, she did the candle of her twat? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But to have a soap that smelled like Fritos and Chihuahua anus.

By the way, I'm big into Goop Kitchen. Do you ever get that? No, what is it? I don't think it's national yet. What is it? Goop Kitchen. Yeah, it's a cloud kitchen. Like they just deliver Postmates serve.

You know what? I'm just going to say it here. Postmates has the worst customer service, and I don't use Postmates anymore, DoorDash. But I actually use the Goop app because you get points now. Oh, wow. Anyway. I thought Goop Kitchen was a Latvian basketball. player. Oh, maybe, actually. I think that's a coincidence. Okay. Or is they say in Latvia?

Coquinky dink? Yeah, that's right. So they just have great food. Great food. I get it a couple days a week. Great food. What kind of food do you eat? So there's goop kitchen, there's goop rotisserie and group pizzerie or whatever. It's all like, I don't know why. They have it in three different menus, but I like to get also, not that everyone needs to be gluten-free, but for whatever reason, all their pizza and pasta is gluten-free, and it's so, so good. And I like to get their terriaki chicken bowl. They got a hummus chicken bowl I like. Sorry, part of my chiropractic routine, my neck.

That's why I've been having issues with my eye wearing. But great, thank you for mentioning that. Can we move on here? Seeking answers, are we? Well, here's the thing with you. And I'm not talking about this with my other guests. I'm putting you on a plateau, by the way. My other guests aren't altogether that...

By plateau, you're saying straight. So I don't know what that means. What do you mean by plateau? I'm raising you above my other guest. My other guests aren't to, if you know what I mean. Yes. Like, cuckoo, pop, pop. No, I'm talking about like intelligence.

Yeah, same. Depth. Johnny depth. Are you okay? Yeah. So in keeping with this kind of take on philosophy, this exploration we just went on with you, the philosophy, the anal dog licking and all this. Let's skip a beat and go to romance.

If you could put your things on so you could hear me. Oh my God, are you in a honey glaze? Were you in a glaze or a honey glaze? No, sorry, I thought you were finding something in your paper. Oh, sorry, you were just kind of like you were glazed. I zoned out a little because I was just waiting for you, yeah. Well, it looked like you more, not even zoned like you went right into a glaze. Like you were kind of like, and I thought, God, is he in a glazer or a honey glaze?

Yeah. Like, you look deep. But can we talk about romance? Yeah. Because I think romance, the depth of romance can be connected to the depth of philosophy. And with a deep thinker like you, what is your idea of romance? What is it? Romance is just another sauce in the fry of connection.

And there are different ways of connecting with people. and they're not mutually exclusive and sometimes they're isolated and sometimes they're all together. Laughter to me is a form of connection. Vulnerability is a form of connection. Sharing time and helping one another is a form of connection.

Getting into a fight because of the way you heal from that. I mean, do you ever play competitive sports and you're just teamed up with somebody else against somebody else and you guys have this common goal whether or not you like this person off of that sport, you feel connected to them because you have this common goal.

And that's what romance is. Romance is another sauce that I like to think of as a common goal. Now, the common goal isn't always the same, and a lot of times there's compatibility issues if people have different goals. Another word of looking at romantic goals are values. Okay, if I can know this is a very technical kind of analytical breakdown of romance. I think for me and my viewers,

we're looking at the more flowery type of romance. So let me zoom in. Sunsets, walks on the beach, something that in its explanation was almost romantic. And I appreciate the technical breakdown. I see that's where your mind goes when you're not licking your dog's anus. But if you could just maybe create a more romantic answer for our viewers. I'd like to zoom in on this idea of the common goals and values of connection and romance. And with that, some people might like walks on the beach, some won't.

So I do want to, I do want to be not as specific as what you. you want, but I could give a little more. Sure. I don't want to put the words and thoughts in your in your head or a dogginess in your mouth. Have you made love to somebody that you feel love for? And have you had sex with somebody that perhaps at least you respect, but you don't have love for. Have you had both of those experiences? I had both of them, yeah. Now, the experience of the one that you didn't have love for, you weren't in love with. Right. You still come? Yeah, I went to her house. I'm saying, did you have an orgasm?

I did not. Did she? She did not. Okay. Now, the one that you were in love with, did you have an orgasm with her? I did not. Did she? She did not.

Interesting. We weren't good at it. I've never been good at, you know, that sex. Right. And I think, unfortunately, the partners are, you know, sometimes you, they say you open doors and will the people into your life. You channel, you channel, and somehow I've attracted cumless girls. Huh. Yeah.

Do you pay attention to their clitoris, or do you just do penetration with them? I do both. I mean, sometimes I have one of those. Have you ever seen a rubber mallet? Sure. It's like there's metal hammers and then there's a rubber mallet. Yeah, like for games when you're trying to like. Right.

Or carpenters use them when they don't want to damage wood. They'll use a rubber. It's a hard. And I'll use that. I'll pummel a clit. I'll, and I still can't get there. this is an inadequacy in me. Maybe I'm going to take a course of DeVry something,

but yeah, it's been a cumless journey for me. Wow. Do you feel any difference with the woman that you're in love with versus one that you're not? Does it feel better? Emotionally, physically? Emotionally, there's a difference. Emotionally is there's a difference.

I think when you're in love with someone and you're engaging with them intimately, physically, erotically, it's the connection you reach in your mind is euphoric. So I... Well, I wasn't finished. And it's almost... I thought you can't finish.

Well, I can't. Well, that's what I was trying to explain. Right. So I could wait for you to finish all day. You're not going to. I'm not going to go ahead. Okay. Do you want to wrap it up even?

Or do you not like comments? I don't know how. I don't know how. I'm going to need you to finish. Okay. Well, that won't be a problem. So when you're making... My experience is when you're making love to somebody,

you're, even though, you're doing the same things. You're going in her pussy. You're coming out of her pussy. You're going back into her pussy. You're turning her around. You're grabbing her hips around her ass. You're squeezing her waist. You're pulling her into you as you're fucking her. You're slapping her ass. Depending on what the connection is what she likes. You grab her hair, but not just to pull her hair. You actually grab fistful so she can feel that you're in control of it. And you just pull back slightly so she's here. This is love making, right? What I'm saying when you're doing this and you're making love, the difference between that and when it's just somebody that you're

having sex with is you're, when you're just having sex with somebody, you're going through the choreography. You're doing the things that you're supposed to do that you think feel good that you think she might want. That's choreography. When you're doing it with someone you love, that's freestyling. Not just for you, but you're connected with what they want and what you want. And not just because you could read their mind, but because you guys could read each other's souls. Wow. And if you do something to somebody that she may not have thought she wanted or if she to you, it's not just that I didn't want that. It's he wanted that. Now I do. I want your happiness. I want your pleasure. I want you to be happy.

I want you to be pleasureed. And you're now just like when you're doing stand-up and you're not doing written material and you're in the pocket and you're just flowing and you're in the audience just like them. It's great to be in the audience with the person you're having sex with instead of being a performer where you're trying to do something to somebody

as opposed to share something with somebody special. And that's just sex, but it's the same thing with taking a walk, getting a meal, giving a gift, surprising somebody, showing up for somebody, if you show up for somebody in a way where they didn't even think they wanted to see you then, they loved that you wanted to see them. They then want it. Yeah, it's about connecting with souls. And that's not just intimate relationships. I, you could be romantic with a, with a friend.

Three words, back up Charlie Cupcake. Like when I, that was like a wall of, are you going to have some more, oh, the balls? okay you know you might get fleas on your lips no he doesn't have fleas oh he probably gives you lick them off maybe um unbelievable answer thank you um um well here's the thing because the depths of romance i feel like you have a a better overall depth perception on romance yeah and as an experiment you can say no, but if I want to see me hook up with somebody on the podcast? No, what I'm saying, I think you already did. But what I'd like to do is if I can make wind noises, which can be very romantic, and see if you, Rick Glassman, hears any type of romantic message in the wind, a voice

in the wind, or would you be up for that? Like a windshield test. Yeah. Okay. Got it. Whoa. I'm at the Soho House, the Soho Farm House in England. it's cold and it's August, September. It wasn't supposed to be that cold and windy, and we were, my love and I were excited to be outside. We couldn't because of the weather and the wind.

And for whatever reason, storm, some reason we have to stay in. And we're both upset. We're sitting down. Okay. Then we start to hear that. and there's this sense of coziness almost like you're under a blanket but you're not warm and you're just there together and you're reminded that it's not that we were supposed to be outside

it was just supposed we were just supposed to be and now here we are and we get to be that with and for each other and you're holding hands and you're looking and you're so attracted to one another and you feel grateful that they chose you and you feel grateful that you got the to meet them. And you're excited about sharing your life with this person. You're nervous because you don't know where that's going to go. But the truth is, it might be windy outside and we might not be able to go where we think we want to go. The answers we're seeking. We might think we're waiting for them for the wind to die down and we'd be able to go outside. But the truth is we are that answer. We are that connection. We are that love. And I've said this on your podcast before,

but truly love is a choice. And sometimes it might be a hard choice that you shouldn't make. but it still is and when you've made that choice or as I like to call it commitment I don't care if it's windy I don't care if it's sunny as long as I'm here with you I'm happy whoa back up Charlie Cupcake

I mean this are you licking his ass again or you're sniffing it or licking licking um to be almost like poetry dripping off your dog anus lips and Well Please continue

Oh I felt like you saying that was poetic Yeah but I mean just I knew you'd find Some type of romantic outlet in the wind Because the wind can be romantic in itself And for you to pick that out of that It's just it's poetic Let's dip along

We're getting through the I just realized What That's because Edgar Allen is the poet But why the Po? And I'm now, I just realized it's... He loves Asian food. No.

Oh, you said, why the Po? Didn't he love Asian food? I don't think he did. I thought he loved Po. No, he didn't even... No, I was for poetry. He didn't... Oh.

No. I mean Po. Is Po? What is Po? What is Poe in Asian food? Poe is a Cambodian, like a bowl food with a mixture of... Bao. Wow.

Dog? Let's zip along here. We're talking about deep. I said, are you okay? Just check your camera there to make sure you're... Is everything all right? We were talking about deep, and you've demonstrated the depth

you go to. What would you, how would you define deep with someone? How would you define deep with a human being? Emotionally? Yeah, because I think you're a deep emotional person, but not, and this isn't an insult, but not everyone has deeper layers the way you do. I would argue that everybody is in touch with them. So everyone's deep, but some people don't know how to access their own depths.

But the human's life is complex, and we're not always aware, we're never aware of it all. But like, what are we in touch with? A lot of times our instincts are actually subconscious decisions. It's not just a reflex, right? So us breathing is something that exists beneath the surface of thought, and we're able to do it, if we're fortunate, licking, swallowing. Licking. And you swallowed? Yeah.

So I would say that instead of looking at the, uh, comparing, deep and different levels of depth, I would say that there's surface and there's below the surface and how deep below the surface do you go. That's a separate conversation. But surface is superficial by design. Not necessarily bad. For example, meeting somebody and them being physically attractive. Now, that is important. Yeah. And that is also very surface, quite literally on the outside of their face and it's very subjective, but it's still very, it's very yes or no. I'm physically attracted. I'm not physically attracted, right? Right. The depth is getting to know that person. You ever get to know somebody who's beautiful and then you're like, they're not as beautiful as I thought

they were? Or you meet somebody who's kind of ugly and then you get to know them. You're like, they're still not hot, but like they're all right. It's all about the depth. Yeah. I've heard this analogy before and I've also thought it, which is, you know, looks are the melody and the depth are the lyrics. And you get to know what the song is. And it's not just what it's about, but it's also like a lot of you go see live music and the musician will tell you why they wrote it. Once you understand the intention of why, you start to actually hear that song differently. Right. And I think the depth is is not, the lyrics are always there. You know, there's a lot of songs that I know that I could sing along to that I've never actually thought what the words were. I've never really paid attention

to the words, but I could sing them. Yeah. A lot of people that know the Star-Spangled Banner probably don't know what it means. It's actually about a broken heart from sleeping with this black woman at a time where black people and white people weren't supposed to do that. Is that for historically accurate? Yes. And what about the song? Her name was say. Oh, wow.

Oh, say. Can you see? Yeah. And she had a C-section? Oh, I think she was, I don't know if she was blind or she needed glasses or something. Wow. And what about the song, hey, Ricky, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind. What's the depth there?

I thought you were going to clap. Oh, easy Charlie Cupcake. Hey, everything. Everybody, check out my merchandise at Harbling.com. Yeah, most people just slap some letters or images on a t-shirt or a hoodie, but not me. Yours truly. Guess what?

I draw my own designs at Harbleng.com. You can see tons of my hand-drawn t-shirts. You can either buy the original or you can buy a print, and man, oh man, wear them loud and proud. I love making these designs for you guys and keeping it personal. So check out the whole catalog. We got hoodies. We got coffee mugs. We got t-shirts. You name it. It's there at Harbling.com. Get your Harland original design, wearable art at Harbling.com today. And thank you for your support. And I'll just keep the groovy images coming. So let me do this, because what you just said is important.

We talked about some people don't go to layers of their own depth. You seem like a guy that knows how to tap into other people. So as an experiment. It's all about questions, Harlan. This is what I want to do. It's all about questions. How do you tap in? You ask a question.

And when someone says, I don't know, and that's back to the Mark Twain thing, I was saying, saying I don't know is a gift because then it lets you know to ask, something more specifically, or deeper. Let's put it into practice. So them, okay. Like Daniel Dingleberry's teeth down in Blasenworth, Ohio. Let's do something that we can demonstrate it, because I think you have to have, I'll play the lowly Wendy's drive-through guy.

You're driving through, and instead of just getting the food, which you'll get, Nice. You'll start to kind of go deeper with me and ask me about who I am and what I want. Let's do it. So you pull up in your car. Hi, welcome to wind is a drive-thru. What can we get you today? I'd like to get the spicy chicken sandwich.

No combo. I'd like to get the spicy chicken sandwich with lettuce and pickle only and a large fry and a five-piece nugget. A medium or large? Large fry, please. Okay. Anything else, sir? Would you like a frosty? Do you like frosties?

Sir? I'm thinking like, I know I used to like to dip my nuggets in the chocolate frosties. I don't know if it's worth it. Do you like, like, I haven't had one in a while. Do you like them? I'm impartial to them, sir, but I'll have one now and then, maybe, you know, if it's hot outside. Chocolate or vanilla? Well, chocolate's my favorite.

Do you ever have vanilla? I'm a little scared. Do you mind if I pull around? Yeah, drive through. Would you like a cookie with that before? Give me a favor. I'd like a chocolate and vanilla frosty. I'll be up in a second. Okay.

Drive through. Hello, sir. Hey. Can I have the frosties first? I want to see which one I like that. Sure, here you go. Just give me, actually, just give me the chocolate. Thank you.

Okay. Would you mind having me and yourself a straw? Of course. Here you go, sir. Why am I having a straw? Well. It's thick. Try the vanilla.

I want to know what you think. You want me to eat your food, sir? I bought it for you. Well, that's very unusual, but thank you. It is hot out. It's kind of thick. You like it? I sure do.

I've never had the vanilla before. I wonder why. Yeah. It's something that I've been doing more recently where I'm like, if I haven't had something, why am I making the decision I wouldn't love? like it and that's why i just kind of sometimes because i get scared to try new things do you get scared to try new things well now that you mention it sir yeah i ain't never tried none

curly fries none i always said sir i always have the flattened-out fries and it never occurred to me to put the curly ones in my mouth it feels like it be eating like a bunch of baby tobaccones or something like does wendies have curly fries they sure do we put it we have a hair a hair a hair curler in the back and Wendy herself curls them up nice now. Oh, you're just crazy, huh? Well, enjoy your, enjoy your frosty. I'm going to get out of here. Okay, sir.

Can I get a couple of barbecue sauces? Sure, and here's a free fuck off. Okay. Yeah, so see, sometimes the lay person just can't get in touch with. Well, they did, but they did. They realized that they could make a choice to make a choice. Yeah. Wow.

See, that's what I mean. You can, you can get to these, uh, these, uh, um, do you believe in human connection? Like, if you physically touch someone, does that change? Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes it could make, it could disconnect.

If I'm like not quite sure if I want to be there with somebody and then they touch me, it might be like, okay, all right, I'm out of here. Okay. But then there's sometimes where it's like the touch is, is a connection. either a connection to them or a grounding into the moment. Like there's a very maternal way. Like if somebody like grabs your arm while you're anxious or something, it's not just necessarily a connection with them.

It's them helping you be connected with yourself and being present and like taking deep breaths. It's like, oh, like snapping you back back to reality, you know? And then sometimes there's like a level of intimacy with it as well where someone's touching you. It's not just that they're touching you. It's it's knowing that they want to be there with you. right and it's not the touch but it's the information the touch gives you that lets you realize something beautiful and that's that's an example of of uh you're neither waiting for the information or seeking it you're just not aware of it until you are it and it's a beautiful thing well in

in the the essence of doing a better podcast and i know you have sometimes have some issues with, you know, being on the spectrum and whatnot. Okay. If we were to hold hands for a minute, would we notice a change in the interaction between us on the podcast? Would that human connection alter the energy and the flow of what we're doing? So I would say maybe, but I would also say to give it its best opportunity, I don't think we should do it with the expectation of that because then what we're then we're seeking

something that we're manufacturing as opposed to allowing something to come to us okay um but if if instead of saying could we see if instead if we just do it and see how it feels i do feel more connected with you i sort of do too yeah i do because we're doing this for a reason wow yeah we both have the same intention and that's connection that's that's the That's speaking to each other's souls, yeah. And that's why I do think a lot of friendships could be romantic without necessarily sexually intimate. Wow, that, like there was some kind of electricity that just passed between us.

Energy, absolutely. That's what I'm talking about. Time goes through us, or we go through time, however you want to see it, they both better be moving or there's going to be no sharing of energy. Is there a world, Rick Glassman, where we could take this. to the next level of what we just did. Like pornography? I don't,

I'm not. I'm talking seafood allergies. If there was a world where both you and I had a seafood allergy. And instead of holding hands, we each held a lobster claw and see what we felt by grasping claws. I wonder if this is going to scare my dog. Can I see if he's okay with it? Please.

Hi, Bob-up. Oh, you're great asshole pickers, by the way. If you need to get anything. Yeah, there you go. So if we could try that again, but now we're doing it as two people with seafood allergies and not just people. Right.

See how the chemistry feels. Well Not the same Well, what if we talked like lobsters Like if I threw I threw it Yeah, I don't know Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, If you could just give us another second, you could fuck off. Rick? Rick? Oh, there you are. Wow, did I have a bit of a breakthrough moment with your asshole licked dog? What did you figure out? I don't know somehow because this is animal, okay?

This is animal, this is animal. And we, as humans when we touched hands, I think we connected us like, hold on, Charlie, cupcake, and we, yeah, but when we did this, we lost it. But when animal, can touch animal, it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's time. You say time, like, we're done? No, no. I just spent time between me, animal on animal. Oh my gosh, I love him so much. Talk to me about doggy. Talk to me. There's a passion, there's a love here. I don't think I've even see you had that with humans. Can you describe the love?

love you feel for this beast. Yes. It's this shiny asshole-licked beast. I'll try. Please. So it's somebody that I feel humans, the one of our most fundamental needs is to be seen. Yes? Does that make sense?

Unless you're a ghost. Right. That's why it's tough for them to be human. And it's easy to project the love an animal feels for you. Sorry, yeah, go ahead. It's easy to project the love he feels me because he is so connected with me and loves me so much that even though he doesn't know really who I am, he knows my scent and he trusts that I'll care for him and he enjoys my company at the least.

Does he know his scent by your breath? Maybe. But I feel like because he, he loves me, he must love me for who I am. And that just makes me feel seen. And it makes me love more. But honestly, who wouldn't love someone that licks your asshole half the day? I've been in relationships with beautiful women who would eat my asshole and I enjoyed it, but I didn't end up wanting a life with them. Well, did they have the hair around it that this one does? No. I would eat their assholes and there wasn't really the hair there.

I don't think if they had hair there would make me want to necessarily that would be the reason I'd want to marry them. Haring is caring. I think you've heard that saying. Interesting. Do you eat fish? Sometimes I like herring.

Yeah. Do you want to hear any more about the dog or do that satisfy? No, if you could just kind of encapsulate it, like trim it off and then... He, because it's a domesticated animal, needs me, right? And with being needed and being needed and being able to supply that need to another creature, it makes me feel of value.

So this thing that loves me, and I feel seen by it and values me, makes me feel like, A, I'm a good person, and B, I need to live up to that. So not only does it help with feeling love and being able to share it, it also keeps me accountable for continuing that. And I just get home,

and he just is so excited to see me. and I go and I go in my other room to edit or something and he follows me and it's just like it makes it so much easier to love something that loves you which is interesting a lot of times when you find out somebody doesn't like you you go I fucking hate that person that's your ego talking and so is this and sometimes love is that sometimes love is ego but when you're able to be nothing and remove those things you end up being something and that something is someone who loves and receives love and though that might be nothing I'd rather be nothing than not loved Wow. You know who needs me? An unbaked loaf of bread.

Interesting. To be baked. To be needed. Oh, kneading bread. Yes. Yes. You know who need me? Your doctor? This guy that I was playing basketball with. How bad did he need you? I mean, I had a contusion on my quad for like six weeks. You know, Randy Quad?

My friend Brent Moran worked with him on a Netflix show. That was Dennis Quad. Got it, got it. Something about Christmas time. You know you have mad scientist hair right now, right? Is that like when you eat, like, bad beef? It's like you're about to come up with some kind of wacky equation. Yeah, I'm getting the haircut tomorrow.

I've never heard. I'm getting a haircut tomorrow. Do you think I should go really short? I don't know. How tall are you? 6.3? I'd go tall. I mean, you don't want to decapitate yourself just for a haircut.

Oh my goodness. She's such a little good boy. Now, we are down to our final thing. Ladies and gentlemen, words from a wooden shoe. Rick, you're familiar with this. And by the way, thank you for being here. It's your multi-visit to the show. I think by fourth.

Fourth time. Fourth time is a job. When does this come out? It's not gay, so it's not going to come out. Well, then our episode was probably already out by the time this came out. But we just, we did them together. You came over, and it was a great episode. And then I came over, and it was, we'll find out.

We'll find out. But you know how this works. You reach and you pull out a word and tell a story from somewhere in your journey that's triggered by the word. And let's see what you get, guy. What do you got? Exoplasm. Exoplasm.

Wow. Is it upside down? Oh, yes. Massoplex. A mesoplex, which is one of the movie theaters that, one of the first movie theaters I went to was this really big mesoplex that had so many theaters. And then I remember when I went to another theater, I was like, this is it. And I would think, I would compare the theater to theater. But the truth is, in both of them, I was only seeing one movie.

So instead of appreciating the thing I was there for, I judged the things that would be possible. And I think that's a great microcosm for what we do in our life of being grateful for what we have versus wanting more and not having enough. How many movie theaters I actually go into? Why do I need to be an emosoplex? Well, I think what you're missing is

those structures were built strictly for chameleons because they're the only living creatures whose eyes move independently of each other and they can watch multiple features at a time but if you're in one theater there's walls you can't see but they can they're wall walkers uh buddy please plug plug away this is your moment your time uh to tell the folks about your comedy touring your specials your new book your podcasts everything please tell the folks absolutely it's unbelievable well i'll be in in D.C., December 28th, at the Improv. Great.

I'll be at Seattle Last Comedy Club, August 24th and 25th. Yeah. And I'll be at Addison Improv in Dallas. Dallas, Texas. November 6th, the Houston Improv, November 7th, and in Austin Creek in the Cave, November 8th. Great. The D.C. show, which is September 28th,

I'm also going to be going to see a friend of mine who is doing the Shakespeare play Comedy of Errors. I actually booked that stand-up show specifically so I could go to D.C. And instead of spending money, I make a little bit of money to go watch and perform. A shout out to David Finn. Is it Shakespeare in the park or will it be indoors? I think it's indoors. Okay. Shakespeare outside is a little better because you have more room to kind of sneak, sneak away when.

you get bored. Didn't you know Shakespeare was gay? I did not know that. He might still be. To be gay or not to be gay. That is a question, whether you seek the answer or wait for it. It's nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of not outrageous fortunes, but a fortune that is as good as a feast.

And this is why he would dress up all the female parts as men as well, not because he wanted to sleep with them, but he wanted to show the differentiation between similarities. Yeah. Would you like curly fries with that, sir? This is another episode of Harlan. Get it going. Ladies and gentlemen, Rick Glassman and his spread eagle dog on the Harley Highway podcast.

Don't ever tell me you ain't going to see a dog get his anus licked on another podcast. Does that only have... Do you want to hold them up and let him see this? Look at it's a podcast. Oh, it's a podcast. Oh, it's a podcast. Oh, if he was a dad, it could be a pa-paw-paw cast.

Oh, fuck. If he was a dad, it could be a pa-paw-paw-podcast. Never ends with the kid. If he was wearing a cast, it could be a pa-paw-podcastcast. Great, right. If he was a witch doing a spell, it could be a pa-pod, pa-paw-cast-cast-cast. I'd really like to end this. Are you done?

Yes. Folks, until next time, chicken chalemain, baby. With the side of Seshuan Green Beans. I'm Rick Glassman from the Take Your Shoes Off podcast. I'll be in Austin, November 8th. I'll be in Houston, November 7th. I'll be in Dallas, November 6th. I'll be in Washington, D.C., September 28th,

and I will be in Seattle, which will have already happened. The 24th. The last two plugs that went on. off. That's fine. You didn't get the man. That's fine. For a guy who was so deep about time and understanding how time works.

Well, I was moving through it as is moving through me. I think we did it right. A time fuck up right at the end. I mean, you were so eloquent off the top. You did all the flowery words and then right down. Remove the judgment. And all we have is the thing that happened and we're okay with it. And isn't it funny, no one's going to hear what we're saying right now.

Wait, what? That wasn't the word. Exoplasm. That's what I said first, but then you said I had it upside down. Plasmax. No, it's not plasmac. It ends with an M. Masselplocs.

Which is for chameleons. Oh, he's licking his ass. Please, allow me. And that's it. Until next time, chicken chalmayne. Green Beans. Hey, everybody, how would you like your very own personal video message from me, yours truly? It's your birthday, it's your anniversary, it's your graduation, or you just want me to make

you laugh. You get to pick the topic, you want me to discuss, give me some talking points, and off we go. You can get it for yourself or get it for a friend. It's super easy and fun. Just go to the Cameo app on your phone. a cameo.com, and I record a custom video made just for you or your loved one, your very own personalized Harland.

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