The Harland Highway - RYAN SICKLER returns and deja vu hits, snakes slither, and families go up in flames!

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

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So I'm walking through, I'm on the street, and I'm on the street, and I look up in some girl, beautiful girl, she's doing this. doing this. She's given me one of these. And I said to her, I said, what is that? She goes, I love you, Harland. And I go, wow, that's nice, but it's a little bit personal. I don't really know you, you know, for you to do this and say, I love you. And she said, well, I think it's important we express what we're thinking. And she was hot and she's doing this. So I went, okay. And then I did this. And then this. And then this. And then this. And then. And then. And And then she did this, and I said, no, thanks, I'm not into Ask Play, but thanks for asking. And then someone was watching and thought we were two deaf people, and they helped us across the road.

It was just... Help them here. Because deaf people can't see. Yeah. So... So... Oh! Chicken chow may and I don't care

Chicken chow me and I don't care The Harlan Highway Show The Harlan Highway Show My guy My guy, my guy, my guy, my guy, my guy, my guy guy. Get lubricated. I'm lubricated, buddy. Get you... Wet and ready, buddy. Are you... Do you... See, I need

some. I just got a little tickle. Maybe... Oh, God, yeah. You got it kind of clear... People don't realize what an art form this is we do. Yeah. Like, they just think we sit down and gab. This is like, we're trained specialists. Yeah.

We're like, you know, if you're watching an M.M.A. fight or judo guys, or even those demented women that roll around on the mat and twirl the ribbon, those tards. Like, it took me a second to figure out

who the fuck you were talking about. You've seen it, right? Yeah, I got it now, yeah. When did that become a sport twirling a ribbon around? Who judges that? Yeah. Who's like, no, no, no, that was a great wrist snap.

Yeah. You could take an autistic child to a fabric store and get the same thing. And no one's cheering for that kid destroying the store. No, they're asking him to leave Joanne Fabrics. Billy are tangled up in the silk. Stop it, Billy. God.

Were you a sports guy? Oh, yeah. What was your sport? Soccer was my sport. Come on. There's no soccer in America. I know, bro. I wasn't early.

Did you just play by yourself? No, the truth is. Did you stand in a field and wait for 24 other people? people to show up. There's no soccer in America. We started in football, and then my parents get divorced, and the only sport they could get us to, because I have a twin brother,

so the only sport they can get us to that works with their schedule is soccer. Oh, God. So we say, and we end up crushing. We were great. You were? Let me tell you something, Marlon Williams. Soccer and comedy have taken me everywhere in life.

Everywhere. Wait, I know you're deeply immersed in comedy. I thought the soccer thing was just a thing you did every Sunday when you were nine. No, bro. We got into it. You did? Yeah, really into it.

We had a coach early on. We were lucky. Come on. This guy studied the German soccer teams and learned the triangle that they would run. Like Phil Jackson had the triangle with the balls. He showed us that. He showed us what crossing a ball from the strong side, they called it, to the week. We're learning all these things that nobody else in our rec league is learning.

Wow. Bill Hoffman. You know? And then we. went and fucking crushed. You crushed at soccer. What position were you? I was defense.

I was never a... So you didn't crush. The others did. The fast guys up front. I was the guy cleaning up in the back. You were the guy standing by the goalie shooting the shit. Let's not. Okay.

You know what I mean? Nice try. You know who I think would make amazing soccer players? Have you ever played chess? Yeah. And when you lose, it's like you're there for two hours and it's a mind-dense. game, and when you lose, you get so pent up and angry, I would think losing chess players would make great soccer players, because basically to me, a soccer ball is just a rolled-up

chessboard, and to get that aggression out, to kick that black and white checkered ball that looks exactly like a chessboard, you got that anger, you lost, you spent two hours done the rook to the bishop nine pawn to the queen eight and uh-huh boom you just kicked the shit out of that that rolled up chest board and am i wrong yeah i wouldn't say yeah i'm wrong i mean listen your chest is getting fired up oh dude my nipples are glowing it's i can't i can't i know your eyes are up here but as you get angry about soccer i don't want to stop you who cares if you're wrong i was fired up over this uh yeah you look great isn't that nice you look great you look great like the nips?

I was about to say your nips look great. I'm gonna portion it. Let me flick. Let me just flick. You want to flick one guy? Oh, daddy. Daddy.

Wow. Just kind of circulating through my body. It was so nice to hug you today. Yeah. Are you a hairy guy under that sweet black shirt? I'm not a hairy guy. I don't know how girls, like I'm not a hairy guy underneath my hair here. here but I don't know do girls really like the hairy like the hairy hairy hairy guys I mean I'll say

mostly I would go I would say no right but however there's somebody for everybody you know I would my question I wonder if there's a primal thing because we apparently evolved from cave people so those dudes with the back hair like right there's a lady out there it's like that's my shit but is there something more dude is there something primal oh hello Hello, Grindr. Grindr, Grindr, I barely know her. But is there something primal in women where they might be attracted to the hair

without even knowing it? It's in their DNA, like, ooh, caveman, me need hairy guy. I don't know why I'm asking you. Are you a woman? No. And why am I asking you? I don't know.

But I'll tell you what I think. This is weird. I think there's a yes, there's a truth to that, sure. Yeah. But I think also it's a level of how hairy. Like, do you mind a hairy lady? have you ever dated a woman with armpit hair? I dated a woman in Germany

who had armpit hair and she was so stunning she looked like a young Fay Dunaway that I was like have all the armpit hair you want like you know what I mean? Put it on my face and make it look like I'm a werewolf like go for it I didn't mind

and over there they don't really matter but I got to be honest if I see it on sort of a Lilith Fair Bulldike, suddenly I ain't such a fan. Yeah. So I don't know. I think it depends on the beauty. And I know that sounds shallow, but it is what it is. It's reality.

Yeah. You're attracted to what you're attracted to. And then you'll say, okay, here are my boundaries. How far am I going to go with that hair? Yeah. Have you ever been with a girl with the hairy armpits? No, no hairy armpits. The hairy legs, the lower legs.

That one can be tough. Stubly. Stubly. You ever had one where it's long, though? No. Have you? I think somewhere in the back of my, I think I blocked it. I think I psychologically, but somewhere in the back of my memory banks, I feel like I was with a woman under the sheets,

and it felt like my hands were going through Tom Selleck's lower legs. Tom Selleck's. Like just that kind of beefy. Not his legs. Just kneecap down. Just kneecaps down. That sort of Magnum P.I. Hawaiian stink hair. I can see it.

I can see it in my mind. It's such a clear description. And you know now I had to block it out. God. God. Oh, God, damn. I wanted to talk to you today about something that I always think about. Do you believe in the Matrix at all?

Oh, yeah. You do? I do. More and more. I get older. Talk to me. What do you mean? Do I, just in general?

Like, do you believe we're in sort of a digital or altered reality or a matrix reality? Or is this reality? Or is this just all an illusion? I don't know. Yeah. But my guess, my best hypothesis is it's not, I don't know if it's definitely not regular reality. We're in some sort of something. I don't know that it's digital.

I don't know that it's created by men or human somewhere. I don't know any of that. I believe I'm not a religious man, but I'm a spiritual man, and I know there's something higher going on around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which we could call The Matrix if you want, whatever it is. But it is, I don't know. I don't know if every single thing is predestined

or if you have sort of some, I don't know. Yeah. But there's definitely something higher. going on. It's definitely a matrix of sorts with the way everything works. There just is. I think to think that there's not is actually naive. It's like saying there's no other life outside of this planet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're pretty sure there. And by the way, folks, before we go deeper into this, this is what you're going to get at the Holland Highway podcast. You go from armpit hair and nipples to is the, is reality, is the world even real? Folks, here we are on the Halle Highway podcast with my special guest, my special buddy, Ryan Sickler is here.

How are you, guy? I'm great, buddy. Thank you for having you. Oh, what a delight. We got off to a good start. I got a little nipple feel. So did I, yeah. You got one, too?

Yeah, bro. You know, have you ever had deja vu? Yes. So here's where I think this is a glitch in the, Matrix. Tell me it. Well, think of it. Dejaveu. You're just going about your thing. You're walking in the park with your dog. You're sitting at lunch with your girlfriend or whatever. And all of a sudden you have this quick little moment where you go, wait, this is all happened before. I've been here before. I've been here. I know what's going to happen next. It lasts about 20, 30 seconds.

If that. If that. Where does that come from? Why does that happen? Our brain, shouldn't be programmed to do that. It happens to all of us. I think someone up in the control room, it's a little glitch where you know when you're watching TV? It's like, suddenly the screen does a little. I think that's the entree, the entrance way into the matrix that proves that something's like, how would we have a pre-programmed idea or notion or any kind of insight into that moment called deja vu. Yeah, I agree. It happens to me in places I've never been before.

I'll go on the road. I've never been to this place, this built, and I will, and I think we all say something similar. Like, I've been here before. Yeah. I've seen this before. It's a very visceral feeling, and there's no doubt it's real, and you're like, what the fuck?

And also, then I start thinking shit, like, man, am I living the same life in the same places over and over and over again? I don't get to be a lady. you know, in the 2086 or I don't get to be a warrior in 1812, like I'm just Ryan sickler and there's no other environment we're just doing the same shit

I get it's just it's a really long groundhog day yeah for eternity and it's like man if all that shit is real can I go be someone else in another environment in another time

and another era in another anything I don't want to just be me unless then you get into the Buddha and all this. It's like you're you until you figure it out and you're the best version of yourself and then you float off into whatever. I don't know.

But there's definitely something else going on for sure. This is the thing like if it's you and you're living your life over and over again as you suggested, then how is it we're stepping into that deja vu moment where we've been there before but then if it is us living our life over and over then time would have passed.

We couldn't have been in that moment before because it would have been in the 70s, the 80s, the 90s. So how are we having a relive moment in the current moment? That's a glitch. Somebody up there, there's always a glitch. And I think if we examine deeper deja vu, which is also a delicious French snail dish in France, I think we go deeper into that

which no one ever has. I believe Ryan Sickler. That could be the portal, though. That could be the portal. What if we're just recognizing it and we're so shocked that we're having this moment instead of when it's happening, maybe you get up and you go over there and I don't know.

I've never tried to move during that moment. I sit here and I take it in. What if now I remember, now I'm going to think I'm going to try to move around like Zelda, push a bush or something like that. Speaking of which, real quick. Watch my new special

live and live streaming now on my YouTube. Okay. Oh, wow. Wait a minute. You having deja vu about that thing? I'm having deja vu.

I was having a deja vu that I forgot to say it. Can you say that again? Yeah, watch my new special live and alive streaming now on my YouTube. Are you fucking kidding me right now?

Say that one more time. Oh, I'm not sure. Watch my new special live and a live streaming now on my YouTube. You've been here before, huh?

Oh, my fucking God. I've been here before. Yeah. Wow. We've had this conversation. Wow. I've already seen your special. It's hilarious.

Thank you, Harlem Williams. It's hilarious. I deja vued your special player. I've seen it and I'm rating it. It's a winner. Thank you so much. Wow. But I think someone needs to investigate the, the deja vu thing.

What that is. What it is. I think there's a movie there. I think there's a movie called Dejave. where someone goes into that portal or finds their way. I'm with it. There's no way, as humans, this body of flesh that we have on our skeleton, we should have that moment.

Yeah. Unless, unless we are a computer, sort of, or something is programmed or whatever. There's no way a species comes somewhere out of dust. Yeah. And then it's like, and it has it multiple times in our life. I've never, I've had it a good ham. full or more not just once and it's very vivid should have yeah it's our first time here ever yeah how can i see how can i even know that that lady's about to walk out that door and do and then

it happens you're like yeah i remember doing it one time with my brother where i'm like we're in we're in our living room yeah it's like middle school high school and i'm like we're all hanging out and i'm like i've been here before and they're like what's going to happen next and i said the phone's going to ring and boom that motherfucker rang it's in the 80s too it rang on the wall See? And we're all looking at each other. Whoa. Well, here's the deal.

You hear about people that, like, die, but come back to life. And only some of them say they saw the white light, or they went into an ethereal place, right? But everyone, and that's only some people, but everyone we know has had deja vu. That's got to be an industry glitch. And our generation grew up on a movie like Polterger. guys where they tell you to stay away from that

fucking. But the answer might be to go to the light. It might be. I don't know. I don't know. I wonder if there's tech support for deja vu. Like, next time I see something and I'm like, oh, I've been here before, I better call India. Hello, how may I help you?

Yeah, I just saw this lady walking her dog and I knew she was going to cross the street. You don't know what you're talking about. Shut the fuck up, but we will come for you. Okay. Like, somebody's got to manage deja vu. And why is it that it's the same era?

Yeah. If it's, you know, 2023, why is it 2000? Why would it even be this year? Why are the people dressed of the era if this happened? Right. Yeah. So are we repeating the same cycle? That's what's weird.

Is it Groundhog Day? It's weird. We all have it and it's all happening mentally. And it's very real because when it happens, you sort of stop, you, you sort of lost. lock up and you go, and it sort of freezes you a little bit. It's a little glitch. Yeah.

I think there's something to it here. I'm with you. Speaking of movies, what would you say, if you could give me the logline to your life? What's the Ryan Sickler movie? What would you if, I know, this is a toughie.

Like, we're coming out swinging. But if I said to you, Ryan, pitch me the movie of her life. In a log line, talk about the whole script. I probably have to logline it to what I have in my podcast at, which is highlighting the low lights. I would feel like that would be

the logline of my life. It would. Yeah, because I've literally done that with everything in my life. I've highlighted my low lights in a way that I've brought it to my art or my comedy or my whatever. Okay, so pitch me, and I'm going to help you. Pitch me the log line to your movie. It's like

Harlan Williams, born a Canadian. His father was a truck driver, but always wanted him be a race car driver he goes into race car driving and he wins you know what i mean like is there a story oh so you want more like the log line of ryan sickler's life um sure log line of ryan sickler's life i would say from 16 on he has no parents and heads off to figure it out on his own oh that's interesting that's it that's all i'd say yeah yeah from 16 on this is the story of a boy slash man.

When he turned 16, he lost his parents and had to figure out life on his own. Everything in life, too. I was on a Bert's podcast recently. He goes, who taught you how to buy a house? I said, I don't know. Who's fucking house, Bert? Nobody told me out of buying a house. Yeah.

Yeah. Why would he ask you that? I'll learn how to tie a tie on YouTube. Yeah. Not my dad. Who taught you out of buy a house? Monopoly, obviously. Finance is all that stuff.

I didn't know any of that stuff. Well, they don't teach any of that in school. No. I wonder what the world would look like if they did teach rudimentary basic life skills. They should be teaching all of the kids today, us included, a business class, like diversify the portfolio. Here's a little business. Here's chat GPT or whatever. Here's this.

Here's this. Instead of like, you've got to do math and go all the way through these. Like, you don't. I'll be honest. I don't give a flying crap. what William Shakespeare had to say. I was forced to take Shakespeare. I'm sure he was a great, prolific guy.

Apparently he was the best writer ever. I don't think he's helped me in my life at any point. I've never gone in to buy a car or buy a home and said, how much thou wast are thine mortgage rate, thy liege? Like, it's like, how much do you want to screw me for, and where do I sign? I don't know that I use anything beyond basic math in my life. Right?

Ever. So why don't they tell us about relationships and money and housing? All the things that humans do. Yes. Why are they giving us all this stuff that's, yes, they're parts of our life, but they're not the main thrust of our lives. Do we need to restructure the whole educational system? Yes. A hundred percent, yes.

All of it needs to be shook up. Yeah. Yeah, all of it. They should have a deja vu class. Like, what the fuck's going on in my mind here? I should have a class for that. I think there's a movie. a deja vu movie.

There probably is one out there that we're just unaware of. Was there one? I really don't know. Was there one that Guy Pearce did? There was one, oh, you're talking about Memento. Memento, was that a deja vu? I don't remember. That was him like.

Reverse storytelling. I don't really remember. Yeah, I don't think. There was one, too. It wasn't deja vu, I don't think, but it was like scanners or something like that with like Julia Roberts and Kiefer Sullen. Oh, flatliners. Flatliners.

Yeah. And he'd be able to, was it. Jump in dreams, nightmares, something like that. Yeah, they could get into it. No, they would slow your heart rate down, slow so much that it would flatline. And then when you're in that flatline moment, they could get in there and somehow you'd live some kind of ethereal life in that moment. If we could get into the deja vu moments, could we control them differently? Yeah.

Could we steer the course of our lives differently? Or could we see if there's some. someone controlling those deja vu moments? Is there a puppet master? This is a bit too heavy. Or is the goal to go all the way through life again where you don't have one deja vu moment

and that means you've successfully completed this course and now we're moving on to the next thing. Damn, Sickler. I've never done this before and I think I'm on my 7,529 Holland Highway podcast. I've never shut it down

in the middle, at the beginning. of it. I'm going to get up. I'm going to walk around a bit. I'm going to clear my head and come back, because this is bullshit. This is too heavy. I don't think this deep. Neither do you.

Let's stop lying. They don't have a clue either. I'll be right back. Fuck this. Take your time. Yeah. Unbelievable. This is crazy. I got a hammer. Yeah, yeah. You're not going to put a shirt on, though, are you?

No. All right, don't do that. Wow, dude. You ever see the cartoons? I'd like, la, la, la, la. I shouldn't do that. I have no chin. I feel like a pelican.

Do you don't have any sardines, do you? Right there. Are those sardines next to you? Oh, yeah, there they are. Sardines. I just had to clear my head, bro. It was getting to... Did you have an experience recently?

Is that what made you think of it? What made you bring it up? What brought it up? I was watching the Matrix. I saw the Matrix and all the numbers falling. And I just thought, is it? Is there a Matrix? And then I went, wait, the only real hint,

the only real glitch I've ever experienced in my life to go one. To that theory is deja vu. And we all have. Fuck, you know, I want to, I came back here. Take a break. God, damn it. Take a break.

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Dude, can you dial it down? This is not healthy for me. I'm sorry. Bring up something else. Yeah, let me see what else I got. Do you have a friend named Sparky? No, but I did know a guy in college named Sparks, and I told this story.

on my album. Oh. This guy, so I played, again, back to soccer. Oh, boy. I played community college. I was all juco. I was good at soccer, brother. Dude, you stood by the goalie.

You were the defenseman. They never move. You stood by the goalie and shot the shit. You're the team that we would have destroyed, because that's what Americans thought. And then we're like, we're going to run past these fucking kids. Just so you know, I played a little thocker, too, in my youth. I did.

What did you play again? Was it? Tharker. I played a little tharky in my youth. Okay. Say it again. I played a little thacker in my youth. Tharker, everybody.

H-H-O-K-K-A. Yeah, welcome to the World Cup of Thaka. You mother, tharker. Okay, so Sparks. Sparks was a guy. But not Sparky, Spark. Why wasn't he a Sparky? I'll tell you why.

he told me later. Here we go. Sparks apparently was a fat kid growing up. And he had a mini bike in Baltimore City. So he'd ride it all down through the alleys. And he was so fat that the fucking wheel well thing or the thing would hit the. And spark. And it hit the ground and spark.

Okay. There goes spark. So they'd see him at night driving by. Oh, wow. Like a little firefly, a fat firefly. Yeah. But he was the dude through the party where the guy got, he got bit in the face by the alligator. Say what?

Yeah. We were all playing soccer, and he throws this party. He's in Federal Hill in Baltimore, Maryland, where the Star Spangled Banner is written, Fort McHenry. I should say Fort McHenry, not Federal Hill. That's where the party was. And we all just go down to sort of like get to know each other better. We're just practicing. Yeah.

We know each other for two hours, a couple days a week here and there. So we all go to Bond a little bit. And he's got some city friends, local guys that he knows, downstairs. And the soccer guys are upstairs. And he's going back and forth. and then he comes up and he's got a little bit of cocaine on his face and we're like, okay, we get it now.

Yeah, sparks. But he also has a pet alligator in the corner in this tank and we're like, what the fuck are you doing? It's like a Cayman or whatever, one of these things. Oh, from South America. They're from the Amazon. He's got it in there and he's so fucked up. This piece is going up and down all night long.

And he goes over and he puts his, he's just looking at it. He doesn't say anything and he lays his arm in the tank. Of course. And he starts swaying it by, and we're like, Dude, you're about to get you. You know, we need you. You're on the team, dude.

You're about to get your hand ripped off. Easy sparks. Sparks is laughing, having a good time. Coked up. Coked out of the mind. Coked up with his arm in an alligator tank. Swaying it. That's cocaine for you right there.

And then he picks it up. Yeah. And I'd say snout the tail. This motherfucker's about this big. Yeah. About four feet. About that fat around the belly. And he's holding it so it's facing him like this.

I've caught him. I've caught him in the Amazon. So you know how big he's thinking. Yeah. So he starts dancing like Axel Rose holding it. The mouth is right here. Oh. You got eyes like a reptile child.

Yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah. And we are fucking like, dude. And I can't wait. This is why I love to be around people that do drugs because I'm like, fuck yeah. Wait, were you Jack 2? No, I've never done cocaine in my life. I'm drinking and smoking.

Not sober, but I'm not doing what he's fucking. So you're a little Jack watching. Sparks. Buzz, swollen around with an alligator. He's kissing it. There's about maybe 8 to 10 of us on the team

that are left. Other people have already split early. And he kisses it once and we're like, dude, he kisses it again. And I'll never forget

Harlem. He's got this cocky look. He looked over to his left like this. There's nobody over there. He's just cooked out of his mind. He's looking over there like that. And he turns back around. And that alligator said,

and I mean, clamped on his fucking. fucking face. Didn't just scratch and clamped. He starts screaming. Dude, we are pissing ourselves. We're, we're cheered for the gator.

Yeah, yeah. You got it. He's panicking. He's screamed. And he rips it. I mean, he rips it off his face. And he puts it back in a tank. And amazingly, he is not bleeding.

Come on. And he covers his face like this. And he's like, oh, my God, I'm not bleeding. And he's not. And he covers it again. And he takes it off. He's fucking gushing. Oh, he's gushing.

He is gushing blood down his face. We're like, boom. We're like, all right, party's fucking over. We'll see it to, see it practice. And then everybody's hitting him with the C-Lator alligators and, oh, man, he had to go to the hospital. He got a little dinged up, but he was fine. He's lucky because those reptiles, the crocodilians, as the Greeks called them, they go into what's known as a death roll.

familiar with this? Yeah, to grab and turn. Right, so they'll grab their prey, and then they'll twist in the water, they'll barrel roll in the water, and this is how they separate the flesh from the carcass, and if this came and had Sparks' nose,

he is fortunate that that reptile didn't do it. I think he knew it. He held him by the side, he was holding him like this the whole time, he would not let him go. Oh, God. He would not let him go. That's one of those things, like, and I'm not encouraging you to take drugs, though most of you do.

That's one of the things, Rye, when you do get jacked up, when you do get high on Coke or mushrooms, that's why you do drugs. You want to see a human being in Chicago where crocodiles don't exist, get his face eaten, buy a crocodile while you're high.

Yep. That's why you get high. You dream of those moments. That's what I'm saying. You must have been laughing for, like... We're calling everybody on the team after that. Like, you guys, you missed it by five minutes, dude. That had to be one of those laughs where you couldn't breathe, where your ribs hurt.

To this day, the guy, I'm still friends with some of the guys. We still talk about it. About sparks. Could you imagine you're sitting there and like, this guy just got bitten a... It's funny to me because there are other guys. like, I forgot about that. I'm like, how many times have you ever seen someone you've been in the face by a fucking alligator

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But I see him at the, it's at the inner harbor at the time in Baltimore. And it's a little sports shop. And I walk in and I'm like, oh my God, that's him. I'm pretty sure. And I walk up, like, are you sparks? That's what I say in the, when I tell him the joke, he's like, yeah. And I go, oh, my God, dude, I was there that night. You got your face bit off by the alligator.

He's like, he's doing this, you know, and I'm like, you don't tell anybody? He goes, no, dude. I go, I tell everybody. That's a bad job honor. That's a bad, that's crocodile done these stuff. I tell everybody. What do you mean, dude? So what city was this?

Baltimore. Baltimore. Yeah, there's no. No. According to any cyclopedia or Google, there are no native crocodilians in Baltimore. Nothing. Even though there are waterways, there are no crocodilians there. No.

Oh, you got to love that. And those are razor teeth. Oh, yeah. They are razor blades, all of them in there. So I literally, when I was in the Amazon, I was down in the Amazon. What are you doing in the Amazon? I just went on a, I went down there to explore. Okay.

And the guys we were with, they had boats. We're out on the boat. There's the dry season in the Amazon and the rainy season. So the dry season, you could take your boat up the main Amazon River, the jungle's on each side, and there's the ground, the forest, the jungle.

Oh, I see. Okay. During the rainy season, the rains expand so much, they raise so much. The forest is like 10, 20, 30 feet underwater. So now what once was jungle that you could walk through

is now the, The water's up, three-quarters up to the tops of the trees. So now you can take a motorboat all through the forest, if you can picture that. So we were out at night, and the guys had flashlights, and they go, watch this. If you see these orange dots glowing in the water, it's the eyes of the Cayman, which is a subspecies of the alligator crocodile. They're a bit smaller. Jaguars actually hunt them.

I've seen that. They jump in the water and get them, take them up in a tree and shit. They're not, they're a smaller subspecies, so people go, oh, wow, those jaguars can attack a crocodile or an alligator, but these are smaller cousins, but they're still, some of them get big, 10 feet or whatever. So we were laying on the bow of the boat, and they'd sneak up, and I was literally like grabbing for Cayman trying to catch them. And I got a few of my hands, they squirmed away, but one of the guys got one and let me hold it. What? I'll put up a video of it. I'll put up a video right here to show you.

You're not. I'm not too much a minute on the Amazon River. He's not kidding. And that blood in his sleeve is not his. That's not helping. Let me just feel his legs. What she said. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, my tail, listen. This is this. You weren't scared. weren't scared about getting your hands not at all i love that stuff i love adventure i love you know i'm not going to do coke and let one eat my face i'll go with you but i'll watch you do that well it's funny because i took my buddy with me and he was the same way and i said dude life is about experiences and i said take this damn cayman and hold it feel the world feel the nature feel the danger in your hands and he did and it's like a beautiful moment but you know i guess

it. People get scared of stuff. Lost the hand. He ended up losing a hand. He ended up losing a hand. Yeah, he lost his, lost his hand and sent it to sparks. Speaking of being born, do you have dimples? I do not have dimples. When you smile? Not really. Well, enough with the spark story. We got to, we got to, because we always do this, we got to get a story. Because I think you, even though you lost, your dad when you're, what, 16? Every time you've come here, no one has more colorful

stories about their father than you. Every time you've been on here, you've laid down a jam. That's nice. Is there a father's story? I don't know if you remember all the ones we've done here. That's what I say. I don't want to repeat one.

I'll know if you did, but I think you owe us, I think Sickler, hold on. Sickler owes us a father's story because they're so good. Like the things you went through with your dad, none of us went through this stuff. Give us a daddy story.

I've told this story. I don't know if I've told it here. I'll know immediately. The story about my brother and I cheating on our tests? Yes. You told that one here. Okay.

Is there a beating one? Is there a punching one, a drinking one? Is there one with a giant python or a snapping turtle? A crocodile. Here's a good one. A snake one. I got a snake one. Here we go.

With your dad. With my dad. I knew there'd be one. You just have to dig a little. We found it. Go ahead. All right. So we live in Maryland.

At this point, we're out in Carroll County. We have a backyard, and my brother and I are twins, so we have to alternate whose turn it is to cut the class. I'm already laughing. I know this is going to be. Why am I already laughing? We have a snapper, lawnmower, riding mower, the same riding mower that Patrick Dempsey drives in Camp Imi love. Identical. That's a beauty.

Bag catcher on the bag. Oh, the best. Yeah. It's, you know, ninth grade. I'm 14, 15. Yeah. I'm in shape.

It's summer. It's hot. I've got my shirt off. I'm driving a little track. You're in soccer shape? Soccer shape. Oh, ripped. Going around the backyard.

I'm doing my square. Yeah. And we have a buddy of ours, Jeff, that lives about three houses up. But you can see the backyards. Okay. Yeah. And I see my brother in him with a broom and a trash can below

a pine tree and they're just knocking this pine tree. And I know that there's a black snake. They're getting a snake. There's no doubt that they're, the way they're standing and scared. Oh, wow. It was in the tree? It's in the tree. Hello. So I look up from a couple yards away and they hold it up like this and I'm like, Jesus. So I go back to cutting the grass. I've got my yellow Sony Walkman on, but you had one of the first ever. Yeah. Yeah. Good memory. Thank you. I look up at our deck now and there's my brother holding it there and acting like going to throw it on me. And I'm like, don't you fucking do it, you dick.

Your twin brother standing on the deck with a giant black snake. At least six to eight feet. Whoa. Do we know the breed of snake? Do we know the species? Common black snake. We had a bunch of them in.

I mean, you know, whatever. Carry on. So then they go away. I don't see him again. I go back. I've got the music on. I'm riding the little mower. And I go back under the,

the deck again, and I feel something slap the back of my fucking neck, Harlem Williams. And I look over, and there's a snake's face right here. Come on. And I'm not kidding you, when I hit a I mean, high as I could. I grabbed this fucking thing, scared. It's going to bite me to. Yeah. And I fucking

throw it out in our yard, and it starts to try to get away, and I fucking put that blade down, and I did a U-turn. My brother's like, don't you do it, you dick? And I rode over that snake. You did. And I cut that motherfucker up in the, I can't tell you how many pieces. You fricciseed that snake.

And then I took the bag catcher off and I dumped that fucking snake out. I said, there's your fucking snake. Wow. Snake anger. Black snake anger. Now, my dad is not a fan of snakes either. Oh, here we go. And my brother starts to catch him and keep him in the house and shit.

My dad's like, stop fucking doing it. He's like in a terrarium. What color were they? Just black. And they're in the terrarium? It was the neighborhood we were in, Harlem. Okay. You were in a black neighborhood?

Black snakes. Black snake made. I got it. Not black snake name. Got it. Got it. White people, black snakes. All people.

All snakes matter. Yeah. All snakes matter. Ha ha ha ha. So did the snake when it came out and you go, what's up, player? My brother was very into snakes. Like he'd go buy the baby mice and shit for them. Yeah.

He was very. I love snakes. And because of what he did, I was not, and my father was not a fan, and he's fucking things either. So my brother's catching him and keeping in the house. My dad's getting pissed off. Well, one day, right out in front of our house, there's just a little sidewalk. You know, those little house that's got a driveway and just a little walkway up to the front door. Well, there's a hole about this big.

And my brother's out there insisting that there's a snake in there. My dad's not having any more of it. And he's like, well, if there's a snake down there, then maybe there's a nest of those mother's. the fuckers under there. Okay. And I'm getting rid of them. And I'm like, oh, shit. I was like, what are you going to do?

He's like, I'm pouring gas down that hole. I was like, you're going to pour gas straight down that hole. He's like, yep. And I was like, let me watch this shit. And my dad takes the old school metal gas canter, rev him with some dents. Yeah. And he just pours gas. I mean a lot of fucking gas down the hole under our walkway.

Oh. And he's standing there shirtless like yourself. Yeah, yeah. And I stand way the, I stand way the fuck back. And he lights this fucking match and throws it in there. And I mean, it looked like a dragon was under there blowing. Oh, back. It got them all.

He's like, oh, shit. Burned them all up. I was 9-11. Like, that's the dumbest shit you could have. That's like a Duke's a hazard episode right there. He was so mad. He was losing his shit. Like, I'll show you, motherfucker.

I'm going to burn these goddamn. snakes, and then he ended up getting burnt. This shit made me laugh so fucking hard. Wait, so the flame shot out at him? Oh, yeah. Shot out. It came, it backfired. Yeah.

I guess poured out, and there's that little area now. Just a little space with a little air. So it had nowhere to go. It came up like it was a dragon in there. Like, it looked like a torch was shot out. Did he burn his eyebrows off? Yeah, it got his chest hair, though. Oh, not me.

Good, really good. Not me. You can smell it. Oh, you could smell that. His nipples were a little more red than your pink ones, you know? The smell of Robin Williams in the air. Yeah. Were you a sports guy?

Oh, yeah. Did you love your dad? Oh, yeah. My dad was the best. Oh, good. Not even any doubt. Despite all the wackiness, you felt loving your heart for your dad. Oh, my dad was everything.

Like, he was the only parent that wanted us. Like, you know what I mean? He did everything for us. So, yeah, but he was fun and shit, too. Like, going crabbing with him. I miss those days. We take the boat out on the water and go catch crabs. Blue crabs?

Yeah. Yeah. On a trot line. We run a trot line and get out there before the sun comes up. Wait, a trot line is when you lay a line in the water and there's like baits every like 15 feet or something. And you pull it up and... Every three feet.

From your nose to the tip of your middle fingers. Oh, wow. We would all sit together and make this trot line. We had whole lips. So my dad knew a waterman. He was a guy that made his living crabs. They were buddies. His name was Mr. Hollis's name was.

Hollis. And he lived across the Chesapeas. Peak Bay just on the other side of the Yeah, yeah, I know the Chesapeake Bay. And we would go see him and he would use bull lips. So we had a butcher near us and you just go get the, you know,

shit they're throwing away off these animals because crabs are scavengers and we use bull lips in the 80s, which is way ahead of its time. And we would catch the shit out of course. Wow. And there's nothing like taking them from the water and going home and steaming them and eating them.

I've done it with the blues. I've caught the blues. The only thing I would say, it's a lot of work. And so people like, because blue crabs, they're hearty, but they're not like the big stone crabs or the dunjigrees or whatever you call them. Dungaree crab. Like they're like, well, you've got to get the bigger ones. Yeah. That's the other thing.

And when you're catching them, you can control that. You're like, normally we would buy these. Fuck these. We're going home with these today, you know. But even still, the blues are a bit of work. You know, you have to catch about four or five to make one crab cake. Probably fair. Yeah, it's a bit of work.

and they've got kind of sharp edges and you can cut your fingers. You're getting cut. So I did it at two. You get an old bay in those cuts too. Yeah, I did it about two or three times with the blue crabs and I was like, you know what?

I think I'm just going to go to Walmart. They have them in the freezer section. A lot easier. I don't need to bleed at Walmart. They do. Speaking of love, my guy, I was out the other day. I was in some city,

some town doing stand up. And you get recognized. here and there, don't you? Yes. By people in the street. So I'm walking through. I'm on the street, and I look up in some girl, beautiful girl, she's doing this, she's giving me one of these.

And I said to her, I said, what is that? She goes, I love you, Harland. And I go, wow, that's nice, but it's a little bit personal. I don't really know you for you to do this and say, I love you. And she said, well, I think it's important. we expressed what we're thinking. And she was hot and she's doing this, so I went, okay, and then I did this. And then this, and then she did this.

And I said, no, thanks. I'm not into Ask Play, but thanks for asking. And then someone was watching and thought we were two deaf people, and they helped us across the road. It was just... Help them here. Because deaf people can't see. Yeah. So...

Oh, my God. Harlan, I have three hearing impaired cousins. Oh, God. Severely hearing impaired, three of them. Can't we, if they're that severely, can't we just say deaf? They're pretty deaf. They can hear a little. They're hearing assisted, you know.

Out of a 10, they're only hearing like two. I have one cousin that before she goes to bed, if she's staying at your place, she'll say, is there anything else you need to talk to me about? I'm about to take these out, and I'm not going to hear anything the rest of the night. Her aides? Yeah, her aides. But she's, so you'll like this. So I did a show in Baltimore, and one of the cousins, there's three of them, she came, and she's hearing impaired.

Well, there's a disturbance at the back of the room that I can hear, but I don't know what's going on. Okay, neither did they. And it's long enough that it's happening, and I finally go, hey, what's going on back there? and I squint a little bit and I see it's this lady and I'm like, shut the fuck up. You know what I mean? Like, what are you doing?

You're ruining everybody's time right now. And it keeps going and I, the security guys here, I go, will you please just go back there and see what's going on? Yeah. He goes back and he walks back up and he goes, it's your cousin. And I go, oh, fuck. Yeah.

So then I start laughing and I'm like, okay, guys, turns out the lady back there it's interrupting the whole show is my cousin. And they all start laughing. And then when I point her out and I say it's my cousin. All right, the countdown is on. Holiday shopping season has begun. Uncommon goods takes the stress out of gifting

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oh she was wasted you had to throw her out dude yeah because when you're hearing impaired you don't talk like that because you can't read it to your vial thought you gotta have my own cousin

thrown out of the fucking show oh yeah I would have had her shot oh yeah you don't talk in my show defy her sister she's a single mom

yeah went over to visit them a few years back and she goes and she's living by herself she's a single mile living by herself she's very she's the one that can't if she takes them out she can't hear shit

oh if she takes her aids or hearing aids out nothing is silent silent so that might be nice she goes go back to my bedroom and I go back and she goes sit on the bed and I sit on the bed and then she disappears and the bed starts the bed starts vibrating and I'm like

my cousins up what the fuck I know what the fuck is that you know you're Listen, that's your shit. I don't need to know about it. And she's like, asshole, that's my doorbell. And I said, wait, what? She goes, yeah. If I'm laying at night and I can't hear anything, my bed will vibrate.

And that lets me know somebody is ringing my doorbell. And I was like, oh, wow. I didn't even know that exists. That's ingenious. You know what I mean? Thinking of, like, how you have to adapt to that world. And you're also a single parent with a child. He can hear.

He can. She can't. So somebody hits the doorbell, the bed. vibrates. Imagine if someone hammered on the door, she'd probably blast into the ceiling fan. Holy shit. That's dangerous. Through the root, bro. Wow. So that's two deafies. And then they have their brother. The third. Now the girls... I feel like there's a fairy tale here somewhere. The girls can hide their hearing aids with their long hair. He can't. So he's always been insecure about wearing them. Okay. Because for a guy, it should, you know, just... Yeah. Growing up in the 80s and 90s,

They were nice. Yeah. They were like the original Walkman. Yeah. Yeah. So he wouldn't want to wear them. So he missed out on quite a bit of life and we're talking to them and stuff. He'd just be standing there.

So I would have to tell friends of mine before they meet them, listen, my cousins are hearing impaired. If you're talking to them and they don't acknowledge you or they're just staring straight ahead, they're not being better than you or arrogant. Yeah. They're just, and then my friends wouldn't believe me because we joke about everything all the time. I'm like, you'll see. Oh, wow. Gary ain't going to hear you say shit tonight. Jennifer ain't going to hear you say shit tonight.

Wow. They don't read lips. You know what's interesting now, and I don't know if you've seen these clips on YouTube, but they have corrective glasses, corrective surgery, corrective earpieces now where you'll see it on YouTube, people that have been deaf or mostly blind their whole life. Colorblind. I've seen a lot of colorblind ones.

Or some even like, they're so, their vision is so, obscured. They don't even know what their parents' faces look like. It's just a blur. And then you see on these YouTube where they put these instruments in their ear or they put something on their eyes and you see these children and sometimes even adults just, they're seeing their parents' face for the first time. It's like, it's undeniable. It almost brings you to tears. Oh, yeah. I love watching it. It's undeniable to see them just be like, the wonderment and the joy. Because it's interesting when we're born, when we're the little placenta blog. We don't know, because we plop into the world and all of it emerges, right?

Have we been here before? We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Dude, I just... Sorry to take you back. I can't get my head around that shit. I like that. Have you ever known a deaf person, a blind person?

Pardon me? You ever been friends with a deaf or a blind person? Come again? Also, I'd like to. It also makes me laugh. I think about how we've course corrected over the years about not using, you know, retard, things like this. But they used to call people deaf, dumb, and blind. Yeah.

It's in pinball wizard. Yeah. That deaf, dumb, and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball. That used to be a descriptor for people. stands like a statue becomes part of the machine feeling all the bumpers always playing clean that death dumb and blind yeah that death dumb and blind kid can fucking play some people yeah you can't call somebody death thumb and blind anymore if they're playing pinball you can maybe yeah they deserve it if their name's Tommy but my point was that when we come out

we are new and so we we segue into everything if ever everything's working properly, our eyes are in focus, our ears are hearing, our brain, everything's functioning, and we just segue from from one year old to 10 years old where we comprehend it all. But imagine if you come out at the beginning and you don't have the facilities of the faculties of eyes and hearing, and then at 15 or 9 or 22, suddenly that switch goes on, it would just be like, it's got to be like a miracle to those people. Oh, no doubt. Oh. No doubt. God. You never knew what a tree looked like. Yeah. You mean, you want to look at this person right here in front of you too, but also, I don't know what these books look. Everything is new. Everything

is new. That'd be a wild experience at any age. And to be able to take it all in. Yeah. And to see your own parents. Like to know, they were just this blurry voice. and then all of a sudden they come into focus at 15 or 10. That's overpowering. That's wild. Speaking of being born, do you have dimples? I do not have dimples. When you smile?

Not really. I feel like I have this hidden dimple here on my chin, but my daughter has one. She is, okay, your daughter has dimples. What the hell are they? What are dimples? Where do they come from? they're a birth mark of sorts. I really don't fucking know. They're like these little indents.

I feel almost like if cellulite could climb up your back and onto your face. Like these little divvets. Why can't they fill that in? Well, no, I just, why do they exist? I don't have them. Do I? No.

Or do I? Or do you? I got me some dimples right here. You got some sweet, perky little dimple. by the way, ariolize. These ones are small. They're very small, yeah. I got into the sack with Dolly Parton about two weeks ago.

We were just hammer jacking all night. And I don't know if you've ever seen her ariolize. They are the size of lily pads. I woke up... Pardin has big ariola. Huge. Just size of lily pads. I woke up in the morning there were bullfrogs sitting on an ariolite.

Just sitting there. You know how they sit, look around. Yeah, look around. We talked about a little earlier. You mentioned this, and it's stuck in my craw. You said, we're getting older. You get a little older, things start to change. On that note, on that perspective, my guy,

is there something in life that always enchanted you, always enthralled you, and was like a high point or a, a piece of life that really brought you fulfillment, but as you got older, it started to dim a little bit. The luster, the sheen of that thing wasn't quite as glorious as it was all this time you've been growing as a human. That's a good question.

If you need to walk out for a second, I don't... Yeah, I don't... Actually, I would say... Maybe the holidays. Oh, that's interesting. Talk to me about that. The older you get, the less there are of these people at the holidays. Okay.

I wasn't thinking that, but yeah. You don't get toys anymore. Right, right. It's like it all changes. Now you're responsible for the fucking holiday. Holidays are a little different than they were. I also think everywhere they are. Like, they were putting, there was Christmas shit.

I went to Petco on Halloween to get my dog. dog a costume the day of the way. No, you didn't. Last minute, I was just going to throw a little costume on her for, just for the photo. What'd you get her? Well, they didn't have fucking Halloween costumes, Harlan. The lady said, corporate came in today or yesterday and took all of our Halloween shit out, but you can go get our Christmas stuff and that's different. Oh, God. Seeing Christmas up in November and shit like that is, yeah, the, the massive, what do you call it the monetization of the holidays over the years. Yeah, yeah, the consumerism. Yes, all of that has changed and it's not as far. Yeah, you're right. That's a very good one. I didn't know what you're

going to say, but I, you know, I sort of agree that that kind of the magic, the, the luster of the holidays, maybe as you get older, it diminishes a little bit. But I also, to be the counterforce to that. There's a part of me that it's sort of a part of my year that it always seems to elevate, that I think it, it may be not be where it was when I was a kid, but I still feel an elevation that happens during Christmas mostly for me. Now, for me, I'm on the other side as well because I have a daughter, so I get to have Christmas for her. Yeah. You know what I mean? So that's the other side where it's, but that's new to me. You know what I mean? Yeah, how old She's 11, but I'm saying that's the last 11 years of my life.

That's a newer thing. Yeah. And sports, Harland. My daughter plays soccer or whatever. I want to fucking go out there and kick that goddamn ball around. I can feel it. God. Were you a sports guy?

Oh, yeah. In my mind, I can still do all those things. Man, when I get that ball on my feet, I'm like, we're, let me ask you this question. I just talked about this the other day. When's the last time, if you can think of it, that you ran full speed? I can answer it Okay, but I mean full fucking speed I will say two weeks ago

For what? I play racquetball three, four times a week And that ball careens and bounces around the court And sometimes like pictures someone playing tennis And you're at the back of the tennis court And your opponent does a drop shot right over the net and you have to sprint full speed to get it before it so you can get it. Well, with racquetball, same thing.

If someone hits the ball off the back wall and it drops right at the wall, you have to sprint as fast as you can to get it so you can hit it back. So, in fact, probably quite a few times because I play, you know, a few times a week. You're bragging now. I'm bragging, yeah. Yeah, and I'm fast. I haven't done that. But I think what you're talking about.

Like a 50-yard dad. Well, here's where we all become that person. You ready? Shit just tears and pops. But you know where we all become that person? This is where you can watch your neighbor, a senior citizen, a fatty, a skinny. You know where it is? The airport.

You ever seen people when their flight's about to leave? Their flight came in late and they got to get the connecting flight? Have you ever known a deaf person, a blind person? You'll see people that were not meant to run, even walk fast. Sprinting. Without luggage, and they got to run with shit. And they got luggage. They're not in the right shoes. They're wearing cork, log rolling shoes. Some of them are in heels. You're right. You will see people turn into. Someone should make an account of that. Just people sprinting through the airport. Suddenly, these people that have no business barely walking are sprinting full tilt to gate 27 so they can get to Cleveland. And you got to imagine it doesn't end well for a lot. sit down if you make it, you're like, yeah, I wonder if, you know,

I've never checked the stats on this, but I wonder if there's actually a statistic of heart attacks at airports from people having to do that, because that's quite common. Yeah, it's really difficult to go from zero to full sprint. Well, especially when you're over a certain age. That's what I mean.

All right. Zero to everything you fucking have. And by the way, some of those gates, Like between gate 1 and gate 42, that's like, now you're jogging a mini marathon. It's far. So you get Dan and Hazel from Cleveland who just wanted to go to Tahiti for a week. Now they're jogging in their cork shoes to gate 42. He's having a stroke.

She's laying down, dragging herself like one of the living dead zombies by her claws to get to the gate. It's not pretty. It's humbling. Okay. So on the other side of the spectrum. is there something in this wonderful thing we called life, Ryan Zickler, that is the opposite where it's something for most of your life,

you just kind of, it was in the doldrums, it was something that you didn't acknowledge that much, but now all of a sudden you're out of a certain age. Are we allowed to say your age or no? Yeah, 52. 52. So in your 50s, was there something in your life where all of a sudden you went, you know what, this thing now? This thing, I've just elevated this thing

that I never really gave much notice to. I'm just curious if there's an opposite thing that brings you pleasure or entices you or stimulates you that maybe for your whole life, you're like, oh, yeah, car, never like vintage cars, but now I love it. You know, I just wondered if there was something. Am I the...

You ever known a deaf person, a blind person? Yeah. After the whole near-death experience, I would say, like, really going after my health became a thing, you know? It was always something I did, whatever, but now it's like, no, no, no, no. We're going to go get the gallery cancer pre-screening test. We're going to go get a cardio angiogram, a CT, all of it. I'm very into now my numbers and my measurements.

Wow. Yeah, my doctor told me for a 52-year-old male in the United States. Yeah. My, I don't know. This isn't great. Here we go. My weight, height, all that stuff. I'm in the top, like, 10.

percent of men my age for my health numbers, which again, I don't know how great that is. Wait, in terms of good. Oh, wow. I'm also like, this? You look good. This should not be top 10%. Neither should this. But this is top 3% right here.

That's Pete. Right there, bro. Yeah. Yeah, I'd say my health for sure. So, see, that's a thing. I've lost 30 pounds. I really got into it. You look great.

Yeah, dude. But that's it, that's what I mean. Like, it was something that was just sort of there. And all of a sudden, it came up. Now it's like, yeah. I love that. Oh, that's beautiful. That's beautiful.

Every time you come here, you've got a new special going, which I love. I love hearing about it because you're one of these prolific guys that... I've only had two specials. I'm not prolific. Well, you have a... Well, okay, I was wrong. You have two shitty old specials. But you do have a new special that's just coming...

Is it out or coming out? It's out. It's already out streaming now on my YouTube. Can we talk about it? Yeah. I don't want to give the kettle away with the kettle corn. But is there a bit? A lot of guys come on podcasting, I don't want to do a bit.

You don't have to perform the bit, but is there a bit you can talk about on there? Because I always like hearing about what you put into your special. What do you got? I have a bit that I think you'll resonate with. Okay. I have, again, my daughter is a Southern California. kid. And there was a two week spring break they had. And I'm like, what the

fuck are we doing in fourth grade for that we got to have two weeks off? And I'm talking to her about it. I start doing dad math in my head. And I said, you know what? You're a Southern California kid. You don't get any real weather related days out here. You know, it barely ever rains. You don't get snow days. So maybe

this is their way of making it up. Okay. She's like, what are snow days? And I was like, oh, Stella. Snow days were the best. and I go into what would happen for us on snow days. Yeah. How you'd take a two-hour delay, but you wanted that snow day, and what we would do on a Wednesday at 8.30 in the morning in the neighborhood and go play Capture the Flag Deep in the Woods and all the hell we would raise

and shit we did. And I tell a true story about tying my brother to a tree. And we start. With a snake? I should have. So we played, we had a rule on. Capture the flag. We'd have five against five, and we'd go out into the woods, and you could take a hostage if you caught them. And we would tie you to a tree. You'd sit down on the ground, legs out, but we'd tie you to a tree, and we'd hold you. And while we're doing that, there's a two-lane double yellow line right below us, and we just decided it'd be great to start bombing cars. And we're fucking these cars up, Harlem Williams. With snowballs? Yeah. And I threw a, I'll say it, a black, I threw a lazy. to hit this black beat-up

Ford Ranger pickup truck and this dude fucking skidded to a halt Harlan Oh, that's terrifying got out of the car and sprinted up that fucking hill

we all run and hide but my brother's left out there tied to a fucking tree It's such a great story And this dude This dude talks so much shit to my brother And then laces them with one

Bam right in a fucking face dude Damn. And then left. An adult. We're kids. An adult. Wow. I tell that story.

This is on the new special. New special, yeah. Tell the folks where, before we get to our last bit, tell them, because I don't want to leave the promotion to the end. Tell the folks where they can find your special, what it's called. It's called Live and Alive. It's streaming now on my YouTube. You can follow me on all social media at Ryan Sickler, websites, Ryan Sickler.

Go watch, support, like, comment, all. all that stuff. Tell me you came from the Harlet Highway. Yeah. And what's the name of it? I said live and alive. Did I not say that? Live and alive and alive. Okay, I guess I was dead and dead while you were talking. Speaking of being born, do you have dimples? I do not have dimples. When you smile? Not really. Uh, buddy, you know our final segment. Yes, sir. It's called Words from a Wooden Show. You reach in there and see if it triggers a story from your journey. And you have more stories, I think, than any guest I ever have. Breakup fight.

I've got a great one. Oh, here we go. Breakup fight. Okay. Clear the pipes. This is a really good one, actually. I was in a relationship. Gosh, this would have been early 2000s that just we shouldn't have been in.

We did it for all the wrong reasons. And we're not getting along. Wait, wait. What's a wrong? reason. That's a big statement. Like we got into it. It's like, hey, I hate you. I hate you too. You want to have a relationship? The relationship wasn't the wrong reasons. We moved in very quickly. Got it. Okay. I should make that clear. Okay. That was a bit of. Yeah. The moving in quickly was the wrong reason. Got it. Okay. And we don't get along after a while and things aren't going

good. It's one of those relationships you know you have to get out of. You know you get out of. But if you've ever had that, and you're like, okay, we both know, we both know. We've got to get out of this thing. So I finally get out of it. We have a big fight. I finally get out of it. And a friend of mine is coming to town from New York. Her name's Corey.

And her boyfriend at the time was a comedian. And she and I worked together. She was in the New York office. I'm in the L.A. office on a writing gig. And so we knew each other. And she's like, hey, I'm coming to L.A. She knew everything that was going on. She's like, well, don't you, let me take you out the dinner on the company.

We'll have a good time. I said, okay, great. so we meet at Coy on Los Angeles sushi spot and I'm living at the valley at the time in Sherman Oaks so I drive my 1990

Honda Civic with original rims over and I'm in a good mood Harlem Williams I'm glad that I'm getting out of this thing I need to get out I'm not sad anymore I'm like this

you're over it and I put on sail on by Lionel Richie and the Commodores because it's one of the greatest breakup songs ever Sushi and Lionel Richie What a night. You ever known a deaf person, a blind person?

Yeah. So I get over the hill. I meet Corey. I park. We have sushi. We have a great time. It's all on the house. And she says,

I'm going to go get the car at valet. And I said, I'll meet you out there. I'm going to rest room real quick. I go in the restroom. I swear to God, Harley Williams. I finish up. I'm washing my hands.

And the fucking door opens up. and in slow motion walks Lionel Richie. And I can't get over it. I'm processing it from what I'm going through with the song and the relationship. Not that this is just Lionel Richie. And I never do this. But not only am I little starstruck,

I'm also like, what are the fucking odds? This is this close to deja vu almost. So I'm saying. And in a men's room, I go, Lato Ritlick like I fucking And he looks at me I go I'm so sorry dude I don't mean no cost you in a men's room

But you have no idea dude I was just listening to sail on All the way over He couldn't have been nicer He was so fucking cool And so fucking kind This man had to go in to take a piss Did he give me one of these?

Oh Richie And he's letting me tell him everything And he's talking to me and having a good time I go outside And I meet Corey And she's got the car pulling up or whatever. And we're saying good night. And out of nowhere, Lionel Richie walks out of the restaurant. Okay. And he says, good to see you, Ryan. Not nice to meet you. He says, good to see

you. Like, he's known me forever, Harlow Williams. And she looks at me and goes, what the fuck's that? And I was like, I've known Lionel Richie for a year. And I just, I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to, I didn't know what to say. And all I said, you know what I said to say, good night to him. I said, all right, Lytle. I just said that. All right. I didn't know what to say, and I've never seen him again. I'll see you tomorrow. All right, Lina. That was it. That's what I gave. Like you were leaving work from the, from the factory. And it was a sign that that was the right thing. Wow. Wow. That's my breakup fight story. That is, that's a beauty right there. Well, buddy, tell them one more time where they can find you to tell them about your stand-up comedy

tour. Live and alive. My new. Oh, hell yeah. Streaming now on my YouTube. Go check it out. Follow me on all social media, Ryan Sickler, Ryan Sickler.com. Check out the honeydew. Go start with Harlan's episodes. Check out the way back. Start with his episodes. He's a multi-returned guest. Yeah. And you'll see me out on the road in 2026. Tickets are at ryancycler.com.

Folks, get out there. See Ryan. Check out his new special on YouTube. And, uh, folks, thanks for being here today. If you get a chance, be nice to your nipples. You want one more? Ah, yeah, baby. Like I'm lactating. Uh, that's it for now. Until next time, a chicken, a chowmaine.

Ooh, baby. Ow. Sorry, buddy. I've got excited. Hey, everybody. How would you like your very own personal video message from me, yours truly it's your birthday it's your anniversary it's your graduation or you just want me to make you laugh you get to pick the topic you want me to discuss give me some talking points and off

we go you can get it for yourself or get it for a friend it's super easy and fun just go to the cameo app on your phone or to cameo dot com and i record a custom video made just for you or your loved one. Your very own personalized Harland.