The Harland Highway - SAM HYDE goes bezzerkers over gorilla twigs and seed oil cookies. Full frontal attack and chaos!!

Episode Date: July 15, 2025

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This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping, code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. I love to see you make a guerrilla nest. Right here?

Doesn't sound easy. Amber, bring in the gorilla twigs, please. Oh, no, no. We're going to bring a gorilla twigs. gorilla twigs. I got sure. Here we go. All right, is everyone happy?

Everyone has a water. Everyone has a... Wait, if you stand, I won't be able to see you. I'm going to shift around because I have back pain. You do? Okay, as long as you come back now and then. I mean, if you want to interview your chits, I can. I'm going to try my best to be a good podcast guy.

You are? Yes. Well, see, already you've got the camera in front of this. Look. You've assembled this contraption, this hideous death. Is there going to be knives coming down from the ceiling? This contraption, you've trapped us in here. It's a contraption, it's a death trap, it's landmines, who knows what's in here.

Damiel. Yes? Oh, hey, I'm Harlan. What did you call me? Can you stand next to Harlan? Yeah, standing here, Damien. Perfect. Yeah.

Oh, phone's on silent, boys. I feel like we're at choir school. Should we sing a choir song? What's your wallpaper? My wallpaper on my phone? Yeah. It's fondly enough, it's a wallpaper of wallpaper. Can I see it?

You don't have to show the camera, but can I see it? Sure. That's wild. Yeah. It is wallpaper. Is that someone you know, or is that somebody you downloaded from the internet? It's someone I downloaded. Really?

Yeah. Used to be the backup singer. I have a thing for, do you like, Judas Priest? No. Hell bed for leather. Yeah, it was the backup singer, one of the backup singers. Really? What's on your wallpaper

crazy guy? I just have a... Delivering the goods. It's just like a default gradient thing. Mine's like a shadow. I don't want to spoil myself. I have a black screen because I need my battery. Oh, God. Wallpaper takes battery?

That's undramatic. It takes a lot of that. I have my... I have it on battery saver full time. That's how I roll with my phone. I don't care about 30 frames. You don't? Yeah, no.

30's enough. Why are you so angry about it? Like, why you sound like you maybe want to, like, shoot up a school or something? I want to shoot up a phone. The trillion-dollar company is trying to fuck you, and you're not angry about it? You like it? Ask my friend. Don't ask me.

I like it. I like it. I love it. Now, is that, that's an iPhone. Yeah. Have you been always an iPhone? Yeah, yeah. You never went to Android?

No, I don't like Androids. Why? Because just the name, it reminds me of robots. Yeah. Robots are going to eventually take over the planet. Yeah. We're all going to be slaves to robots.

Yeah, Indian people, masquerading as robots. Did you know that's how AI works sometimes? Wait, explain to it. Before you explain, because you're about to talk tech, folks, just so you know, this is the first podcast we've ever done with this many cameras, this many microphones. We're going to have tech issues. I already know it.

but it's okay. Are you even recording? Why is that screen like black on everything? Are you serious? I mean they'll look at that screen right there. It says off and stop and there's no that's what I mean. We're having tech issues already but we're recording. Are you at least getting audio? We're recording. We're recording. Okay. Can you verify we're recording please? Testing? Testing. Testing? Testing one, two. No, just say we're recording for fuck sake. For fuck sake. For fuck's sake. Ladies and gentlemen Hang on

Theme music If you put your headphones on You'll hear the theme music Sam Hyde is here everybody Sam Hyde in the house With his posse Damien Charles Michael Carroll

And lasagna lips Yes Lasagna lips How are you I'm Garfield Hi I'm Garfield Carol I'm Ryan lasagna lips

what's the music is there fun music well apparently is it judas priest that's like 90s comedy central like oh hell yeah

that's cool uh sam welcome to the hall of highway punkin my friend why are you doing a Jewish voice no that's Cajun are you Jewish yeah since when

I well I had to convert a few days ago oh where temple? Well, it was actually the Scientology Center. I was meeting with all the sort of bigwigs. Oh, wow. So wait, they'll take you in at Scientology

and convert you to Judaism? Well, that's the, that's sort of their, that's their, they call it the intake. Okay. Scientology. Yeah. And it's they have you know, there's the surface level Scientology, which is where you get the books and the literature and the sci-fi stuff, but if you go deep, it's, they're all Jewish. Really?

Yeah. Wait, so you just turned Jewish, what, three days ago? Yes, I was running low on money. And what were you before you became, as you call it, Jewish? A goy. Do you know what a goy is? It's a fish in a pond in Japan? Correct.

If you can verify, please. Yeah, it's true. I've seen it myself. I think it's Yiddish for having a huge cock. Please say your name. Charles. Charles said he thinks it's a huge cock. It's a euphemism for having a huge cock. That's what goi

originally means. Can you verify please? Yeah, it's true. I've also seen it as well. And state your name? Ryan Lazzaniolips. We don't laugh at friends here, Sam. I'm sorry. Okay, so you were, you were, what were you before you were Jewish? Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Hall of Highway podcast. We got Sam Hyde here and his all-boys choir school. And And boys, why don't we start off with a ham? Is that a Jewish voice you just did? Pardon me?

You were just doing a voice. It was Cajun. A Cajun, it was, it's sort of a Cajun Jewish. I thought, are you making fun of me? I didn't sound like Gambit? A Cajoo. A Cajoo. Yeah.

Yeah. As opposed to it. And yes, I was making fun of you. Okay. I love making fun of you. You're going to be getting a call. From who? From, you know.

Wait. You know, this is going to call. tight. Is this AI or did you pay for it to get me? This is, this was built into this system. Is it really? Yeah, it's tight. Sam, I'd say it's tight and ripe. Tight and ripe. Yeah. Do you like those two words together?

Or no? I don't like when you when you were outside, we were talking and you were giving me a sort of, you were saying things with like a sexual connotation. Yeah, yeah. And your eyes have this kind of like, I would say beautiful, but then it became a sinister. Sort of. Sinister sex?

Twinkle. It was a sinister sex. that you were really you were sort of communicating outside interesting you were talking about how ripe and tight the the tangerine trees are out there and you were doing that what doing what you know you're licking your lips right now i don't do that what am i a party boy you know what i already see that do you mind licking your lips for the yeah he's a street A butter nutter? A butter nutter?

A sweet water? Sweet water. I used to be also a war daddy. I also used to be a war daddy. From Vietnam? No. And San Quentin. Hold on.

Guy. Do you know how to lurch? No. You need to lurch. If you're not going to lurch, then don't talk. Sam, do you have something to say? No, I just want to get a very position. Come on in.

Yeah, yeah. band and flexi melt. I have bio freeze if you want any. I have it on me. Stephen? What is it? I don't want to go. Let's go to Stephen on camera five.

Huh? Who's your nutty friend? He's got bio freeze. Can we start with a choir song? Because I feel like we're at a Catholic. I know you're Jewish and all that. K-Jew or whatever. Can we start with a Catholic?

I feel like we're in a choir guy. What do you want to sing? I'd like you to lead it. You're the spiritual leader of the Demento. of your friends. That's a good setup. And to Jesus brings. I like that idea.

Sam, you're lurching on me. Are you running up on? Oh, your back source, you got to like shut. I'm in so much physical pain right now. What happened, guy? Talk to me. I have a shoulder impingement. My back, my lower back, my lumbar spine is just, I don't know.

You got to use bio freeze. Daniel, can you get the biofuels in my left jacket pocket on the table? Another one please? How about some of this? I got the hunger shakes. What is that? How about this? That looks good.

Can I have that? Oh, hey. What's that salmon? A three-d-printed salmon. That smells really good. Yeah, please. Oh, no, no. We're going to bring in guerrilla twigs.

How's it feel? How's your back? It's not good. Oh, dude, it feels so bad. Yeah, yeah. Have you ever tried Ben Gay? That's Ben Gay right there. We've been gay.

Here it is pain relief spray. Vicidinin liquid, Vicodinin. They didn't have biofreeze. It's pain quill. How did you hurt your back, Sam Hyde? Well, doing the weightlifting stuff. You want to spray you? Oh, wow.

I don't want to spray you. Was it a clean and jerk, or was it a bench press? No, uh, deadlifting. He's a clean. Do you deadlifting? Deadlift? I've lifted a few corpses up at Forest Lawn. I'll go up in the middle of the night. Two weeks ago, I dug up meatloaf and did a deadlift to him and that fat fog. Did you rape him first?

Uh, there was, I think the groundskeeper was doing that. Okay. So I kind of did it after. You weren't into doing it together. What, raping meatloaf? Yeah. I would do anything for love, but I won't do that. You have an amazing voice. Thank you.

That's really well done. That's nice. I would love it if you would lead us in a ham or a choir. My throat hurts. It does. Have you ever had a tracheonomy? Not yet, no. Okay. So before you were Jewish. I want to get one, though.

You do? Yeah. Just to fit in with the Hollywood set. How would it sound? Could you emulate the voice? Do the filth? Can you do filters? Yeah.

You have the filters? Yeah. Okay. Go ahead. That's good. I need you. I need help. Arland.

I'm outside. I'm coming. I don't know. You told me. Not the best. What is it? Gifeltha fish? Gifelta fish.

So what were you before you were Jewish, my guy? No, I'm not Jewish, actually. I'm just regular. I'm a 13th generation American, actually. Talk to me. Here we go. I mean, that's as far as my knowledge, my ancestry goes. What's your heritage?

Italian, German, English, Irish. So everything? I mean, those four things. You know you're legally allowed to open an I hop with all those qualifications. That would be a good move, I think. International House of Pancakes. What are you? Uh, nosy

Are you Jewish? Is that mean Jewish? Maybe I am, yeah. Had my bar mitzvah when I was 13. Rabbi Papin-Hard? Are you doing the thing where we're just going to lie the whole time? Are you saying that you've really had a bar mitzvice when you were 13? Can you confirm?

Wait, are you lying? I'm asking you. I'm asking you. I had one. The House of Lies. I'm not lying I have a vague recollection of that so it might be true Larry go ahead

the bar mitzvah the bar mitzvah that you were doing yeah I remember the ceremony only vaguely so I think it might not be a lie what do you think Sam I'm in I'm totally in mystery right now I need to know though look I'm willing to switch topics

if this is getting too convoluted well I need to know the truth I'm not Jewish. You seem disappointed. Well, I thought we were getting on it, like, you know, I thought you were going to be like the big Jew that kind of opens doors for us. I can. Can you?

Yeah, what do you mean big Jew? Like a fat Jewish person? No, like in charge. Or a big, a Jewish person in the industry. I'm so sorry. Did I hit your ovaries? No, my elbow. Press chat.

So you want, like, a big Jewish person immersed in the entertainment industry. Yes. That's how it works. not that guy. I'm a Catholic, Irish Canadian boy. Oh. Yeah. Same. Same. Yeah. I'm a, Paul. Go ahead. Yeah. I'm a, you're a Canadian guy? Yeah. Same.

From where, Paul? Quebec. Quebec-que. Pallévue French, Paul? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what was that? That was French. That was French. A pair of what? Scissors. Yes, what do you need them for? Can I, can we ask Amber? Amber. Amber, scissors immediately. Thank you.

Are you serious? I mean, they'll look at that screen right there. Okay, I want to talk to you about websites. Wix, Wix, Wix, Wix is a place where you can go online and build your own website. How do I know? I've done two of them. Harlan.com and Harbling.com. I did it all by myself.

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and it's just incredible. So I love building with Wix. You're going to love it. And if you're ready to create your own website, go to Wix.com. That's Wix.com to start building your website today. And I want to say thanks to Wix for sponsoring the Harland Highway podcast, Wix.com. Give me the shears. There we go. Scissors. You're going to cut the nubbles out of you to share it again? I got to do something.

Oh, wow. Nice. Here we go. Here we go. No problem. There you go. Thank you. It's killing me.

We've got to start over. Okay. Can we wait until we get the thread? There we go. Ready to start over? Yeah. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haile Highway podcast.

My special guest today, H-H. Yeah, H-H and S-H. Sam Hyde is here, ladies and gentlemen, with his great dear friends, Michael, Damien, Stephen, Walter, and Potato Pancake Tits. Is this a different show? I don't know for Potato Pancake Tins. What?

Is this a different song? No, this is the same one. No. Why? It doesn't sound as good. It's the first time I heard it. No, it's a winner. All right.

Let's, maybe we got off on the wrong foot with the whole Jewish thing. Do you like nature, Sam? Are you a nature guy? Can we avoid the Jewish question? So you want to start again? I suppose it's the only way to do it. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to the Hall of Highway podcast.

Sam Hyde is here, ladies and gentlemen. Comedian actor owns a Subway Sandwich franchise in Cleveland. Terriaki enthusiast. And he's here with his friends. Nick? Nick, Sam, Charles, and William. And Barfbag, Billy. Hey, what's up, I'm born-tagged Philly?

I told you we'd have tech glitches all day. Is that Mike okay? It's not. It's got a neck brace on now. This is the first time I've done the pod, the Harlan Highway, with all these cameras, all these people. So there's going to be tech glitches all the way through, but thank you for helping. It's good that you don't like robots. Why?

Well, you know, they're not doing too much. Talk to me. Well, it's been what? It's been, what, 60 years since we've conceptualized, you know, how long we've been thinking about robots? A thousand years. Modern robotics. Thousand years is biblical.

All we've got is a cooler on wheels that has an Uber, same software as Uber. Okay. The Waymos. Can I put it into perspective? Please do. You're a caveman. You're Neanderthal. You're homo erectus, especially you.

And you're selling insurance. And you're in the cave. You're sucking on woolly mammoth carcass. you're 6,000 years ago 6,000 years ago and one of those little robots rolls by You're thinking you're seeing God And I think they probably think fuck it

Excuse you? They'd probably try to fuck it Those guys They would try to start fucking it Yeah, it's true I would do it It's only the only pragmatic If the thing moves you can fuck it Yeah

That's true If it walks you can fuck it He's a war daddy so he knows That's how war daddy The cooler on wheels would be fucked by homo habilis. Pardon me? That's why they call them homo habilis. Because they'd be habin lots of lust.

These homos be having lost. Do you know what a word daddy is? No, please tell me immediately. It's a prison. It's a prison pimp. Why don't you go buy a bag of Freeto's and fuck off to Florida? Who, Gabriel? Your nutty friend. What about him?

Well, you know, someone comes in at me and lays down a rambo. and I'm sitting right here and blabber snots in my mic. You think I'm not going to lay down a Frito-Lay counterburn on thunderlips over here? You said that you're packing in with people. I know, but when he comes laying down

like a lasagna-fried fuck steak... He doesn't have a mic. I know, but when I'm trying to lurch into a birch and he's skinning a cedar... What do you want him to do instead? Well, Sammy... What is he supposed to do? Sammy!

What are you... Sammy! Specifically. what do you want? Will you tell him what you want? He wants you to fuck off the Fritos. He wants you to fuck him.

Daniel, can you get the biofrees in my left jacket pocket on the table? The other one, please? All right. Guys know what a prison cissy is? That's what I was in prison. Oh, holy try. Read the question on there. Oh, shit.

I wanted to see if you... It's Kirk F. Bill of Twigs. I got your... Yeah. How's it feel? How's your back? It's not good.

Oh, dude. It feels so bad. Yeah, yeah. Have you ever... Talk to me, Sam. I want to get it deep into this radio. Talk to me. Talk to me.

Talk Tua. Is that an Eskimo name? It's an escort. It's a podcast. Talk Tua? Yeah. Oh, it's Hocktua. Yeah.

I thought it was an Eskimo name. Have you ever met an Eskimo? It's the Hawk Tuckoo. Is the Hawk to, um, no. Would you like to? No, there, well, isn't Alaska's like the rape capital of the planet? Talk to me. Yeah, because they're Indians.

I love rape. They're absolutely barbaric. Yeah, the Inuits are famous. They're just raping each other all the time. Is that what an Eskimo is? Yeah. Okay. Can we have a rape talk?

Some the suicides go down? I'd love to talk, rape. Have you ever been raped? Do you look like you have? Thank you. I was raped by an Eskimo during the Iditarod one time. The guy lit is five, Alaskan Malamese. me it's pound me and then he ended up going on and winning and what's that gary

paulson book with the yeah he lit the dogs out on me and he let the dogs do rough dog on you he let me it was gary paulson's uh famed novel after hatchet it was called rough dog it was called rough dog are you hearing this bro why don't you say something god i'm just listening but can you say something oh i love rough trade why do i have to carry the whole pocket say something. Something, please. Preview. Prison cissies. So you ever been? Yeah.

Really? Yeah. How'd that go? So I was in the parking lot of the Glendale Galleria. I like to practice my rollerblading late at night in my Lulu lemons. You like to practice your anti-rape techniques. And it just didn't work out that night. Oh, you think you're getting to me, but guess What?

I'm a worried at you. So you're in the Lulus in Glendale. I'm in the Lulus. I practice my rollerblading late at night. Okay, Sam. There's no one in the parking lot. It's huge. It's like an ocean.

You thought you were safe? I thought I was safe. There's one van in the back, a white van. I'm rolling around. It's 2.30 a.m. Are you lying in a long time? Are you saying what you're really? can you confirm you lying well are we

Glendale time if you could look away okay so you're not going to look away you got us ensnared right now engaging yeah this is really good who is in the van Harlan so I'm rolling by I go by the van three four five six rotations, right? The eighth rotation, I go by, Van Dors slides open, six priests

grab me, excuse me, allergies. They were public school teachers, is what you meant. If I could tell my own story. That's true. Are you sure they weren't rabbis? They might have been. I'm going to finish what you're saying.

Yes. Say it again? Well, just do your job for fuck sake. I really have nothing to talk about. I'm just here. Fritos. Pats.

Yeah, I'm going to go fuck a bag of fritos. So they pull me into the van. And on the back of the van, there's a picture of a cross. There's a Bible. It says Matthew 223. And then it says, if this van's a

rock and don't bother knocking. And I won't tell you what went on inside, but I was rolled. I was rolled like a burrito at a Barry Manilow Budplug Festival I thought it was

Wow Yeah I thought it was high school gym teachers Yeah I think I think there's a lot more sex In public schools And there are In synagogues Have you ever been

What Heights? Yeah No Not yet Would you like to be? You go to Alaska It's gonna happen

You choose You choose. Barry Manilow. You got that type of work in you? What are you paying? What are you buying? I'll do it for two-fitty. When?

Two-fitty what? What are you doing tonight? Podcast. This is a nine-hour podcast. Okay. You said we're going, we're going nine hours. Nine hours. Yeah.

Or H-R-S. H-R-S? That's like abbreviated. Yeah. Oh, oh. Hours. H-R-S. I want to talk about cunnelingus.

Yeah. Droat cancer. Do you like it? Cunnelingus? Yeah. Is the whole podcast just this? What do you mean? Is it just like straight nonsense?

Hell no. What's the serious? When are we getting serious? So how do you feel about the situation in... Conalingis? Conalingis County. Conalingis County's been up against it for for many years

it's the these internment camps where they keep the Sam Sam I was going to say if any of the gang or you even Sam but not you if you have any

kind of linguist techniques we'd love to see them if you each want to give it a shot you want to just Show us your cuddolingus. Michael Douglas has the best technique.

It's getting throat cancer from it. Eating large oysters. No one wants to cunolingus it up? No. God, no. Imagine if it looked like that. It's going to respond to it, then maybe, but if not, I don't know. I can't.

I'm married. I need feedback. But why is it cundalongous? Why is it such a big, fancy Irish word? And for men, it just suck. Look up the etymology. Yeah, Latin al-enomology. Isn't it fallacea or something like that?

Oh, that's true. Felicio is fanciergeous than suck When you're feeling fancy You can whip that one out I gotcha Are you a nature guy Sam? Do you like nature? No, not really

What about you? I would love to I would love to throw a nature thing by you What's that? Well, I don't know if you know this or not But gorillas and orangutans Do you like nature at all or no? No

But is it okay if I talk to you about it? Of course, yeah Every night, guys. You're not going to get an answer that you like. I think I will. I'm not a big nature guy. I like bonobos. Yeah.

You like what? Bonobos. I like great apes. Yeah. You like a bonobo? I don't like nature. Yeah, monkeys. Okay, but maybe, what if I swayed you?

Well, hit me with what you got. Okay. Gorillas and orangutans make nests every night. Like every night they get twigs and they make a nest up in a tree. That sounds disgusting. I know, but I would love to see you make a gorilla nest. Right here? Doesn't sound, yeah.

Amber, bring in the gorilla twigs, please. Oh, no, no, we're going to bring in gorilla twigs. I got you. Here we go. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, there we go. Oh, no. Big gorilla nest, I'm in there. Is it a gorilla in this room or what?

There we go. We lost power. Here, get in the gorilla nest. Wait, bring in the gorilla twigs. Up in the gorilla nest, right? I don't know if we have... Let's get you in there. Let's get you in there, buddy.

Let's get you in there, buddy. Get you in that nest. There we go, buddy. There we go. Gorilla twigs. We're a big monkey. What are we dancing? We're big monkeys.

They're big apes. We're big gorillas. We're going to get in that nest. We're gonna get in that nest, darling. We're gonna get in that nest. I see something I like in that nest. And I want to let me touch it. I see a big snake in there.

I don't think we're recording anymore. All the cameras went out. Oh. Yeah. This one's in. Is that recording? Yep. Let's get you in that next.

We got this now. Let's get you in that figurine. Oh, ah. This gets you in that. Ooh. Woo! Woo! Let's get you in that.

I thought your back was sore. Oh, ow! Oh, ow! I'm suing. Now, can you make a gorilla nest with these twigs? You are going to do the nest building. You have to show me how it's done. Oh, I see.

We got a seat. We got a seat. We got a seat. You were, hell. Yeah. You're a big guy. I play hockey. This is a strong gun.

Big strong guy. Big strong guy. How old you? No, is it. Nick. Sam. He's a strong athletic guy right here. Yeah.

William. Is that a fucking heat? Barf bag. Why? You want some fries? Have you been heating this room up on purpose? Have you been heating the room upon purpose? Do you like straight fries or curling?

It's not. What are you like? This is the first dragon flag. What are we're going to eat? I'll eat your face. All these. All these people show there's going to be tech which is all the way for helping.

It's good that you don't like robots. Wild. Well, you know, they're not doing too much. Curly fry. Oh, Amber, bring some cookies on the counter. Curly fries. I have biofreeze if you hungry. We have no longer have audio.

Yeah. Well, I think we got a little video. That'd be cool. Bring the cookies. Here we go. Oh. Keep rolling, Amber. This is seed oil stuff.

I don't eat that. All right, guys. So snoring and wheezing and huffing and puffing while you're in bed when you're asleep, a restless leg syndrome, you can't prevent that stuff. But if you do have, like, kind of an ED problem, we got you covered with Hymns, okay? HIMS offers access to ED treatment options that cause 95% less than brand names. No insurance is needed and one low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care if prescribed. Your medication ships discreetly to your door for free.

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Prescription is required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. So keep snoring if you want to, but if you want to be good in the old Sackaroonie, get yourself some hymns. Mike. Don't be so selfish. Boys, would you like them that's a fat of cooking? I'm not going to have some of cooking. I'll take them off your handbooker.

You're like to let them fat cookie. I'm going to have some cooking, Pam. How many can you put in your mouth at once? Does it? How big of a mess can you make with those cookies? I'm gonna eat your face. Let's make a big cooking mess. I like a big cookie mess.

I like your guys. No. I don't have some cooking. Eat the cookies. Amazing. Eat the plastic. You won't have one cooking. No, I don't want to cook.

Why? Because it's seed oils. Oh, it's hock to us. What's that going to do? It like inflates your shit. It's bad. Fatsy oil. You don't want that.

Not soft batch. Soft batch is good. It's got seed oils. There's a soft batch for you. Why do you care how I feel? Because I want you to be healthy. Do you care about me? Of course.

Can I get a hog at least? I love a hug. I love a hug. I'm waiting to hug you for a fucking three hours. Guy, ah. You can take no seed oil. Seato is bad. I'm trying to help you with the seed oils.

I know, but I'm going to get a popper and your feed oil hugs. You have a lot. Come on, man. By the way, where's his on your lips? I think he used to be getting a bag of free dose. He was in one day. I don't care. I thought he had to find out.

He's going to the hospital. You're in the hospital. Well, let's see. Can we know a question at least? God. Now, tell me about your child. Ow, my brush. Why do you have to slap by me?

Because you're taking serious stuff. And you're making that funny. It's silly. But you don't have to slap my teeth. Boom! What do you see? You guys gentlemen, so a lot of beauty and gorgeousness. Gorgeous beauty in there.

I love to feed you a cookie. Oh, slap that out of your hand. You will? But not too hard. No, pretty hard. Okay, I don't want, because I, I have to use my... You're an artist, you're an animator. Yeah, I've got to use my hands.

Right, so if I, if you slap it to your heart... I don't want you to break my hand. I want to be able to make art. I have to be able to make my art. Okay, but if I feed you a cook, If you slap my head and then I can't draw anymore, I know. I don't want that. So can you slap me lightly?

No. I try to beat you in a good way. Don't do it. Don't do it. You know me lightly? No. Please. No.

Please. Don't do it. Please. I know what you think is... I know what you think you want. Don't get it hard. It's lightly. Uh-uh.

Don't do it. Yeah. I'm tempted. You get it. hit a horace oh you do it irish word what's that feed him a cookie are you crazy no him are you crazy are you in nature

you're in nuts you're a nut yeah you like don't know i do you do why you're like yeah you are you are yeah no why because you're uh you're not such water twigs and they make you this right here

you're in the gorilla twigs A one in a million. I'm not planning to get emotional, but you might... There we go. This makes me a little emotional. Let's take it to... Bigger on that. I'm asking.

Oh, hey. Ha! It was a girlish way. Up in the girl. There we go. We're going to get in that here. Um, we're going to get in that here. Um, seeing some of this.

Reminds me... This reminds me of... I'm sorry. Rood a hockey dad. I'm sorry. No, it wasn't a hockey, my dad was actually above. Damn, you didn't get away too much. The Nutcracker Street, 12 years in a row,

the Mississippi City. Was he serious about it? Oh, he was great. I mean, you want to talk about a prince? I'm suing. Is he a professionalist? Oh, he could, this guy, he was delicate. He was a dachers.

Yeah. He was a dacher all the way to comment. But when he got on stage, you were a man did. Yeah. Yeah. You've mesmerized. You are? Did your parents do any

big shows like Black Swan, the Nutcracker, AIDS is fun? It's not. It's not. I've done the... Don, the... Is your... He always wanted to be...

Thank you for helping it. Well, you know... Curly fraud. What? Curly, right. Hold your hand up to the camera. This is gold. That's not my pants.

Look at this. Yeah. All right. Uh, hello. Hi, everybody. Don't ask, don't tell. You don't tell. Donner.

Cueber. Here to leave. This offers access to EMP. That doesn't mean it. You're real? Sam, can we talk about it? You might be touching your life? Like it's a friendly, I know.

It's like an interviewer. Sam. You can tell us about your fabulous new sketch show. Of course I'd love to hear about it. Tell the folks watching. Thanks for finally. Bring that up. Yeah.

Let's talk about that. Alex Schultz directed this thing. Yeah. This is the crew right here. Ya-a-a-R-Selt. And we had a show called... What is he supposed to do? What are you...

Ten years ago. What you want? He wants you. I'm gonna have some cookie. He wants you to fuck him. So 10 years later we redid it, we did it. I'm gonna eat your face. I'm gonna eat your face.

I'm gonna eat your face. Oh, it's gonna be on him. I delete your guy. It says Kirk F. Oh, it's very good. How's it? How's it? Because I know you've been a live theater version of it just recently.

Everyone loves a theater. Are you coming? Oh, it's a technical. When is it? Tomorrow? Right. Fuck, come. Where is it?

Oh. You. Is I soft bad? What time? That's five. I've never seen you so sad. Why is there are any more? I'm not sad.

Is it? Does it meet a lot? Yes. Yes. Yes. Come see it. You mean for real? Yes.

Yes. Yes. I'm being for real. Come see it. I'm trying to help you with the seed oil. Let's see if you're going to go. Please. I have a seed oil.

Come on, man. By the way, where's was on you? Please. I think he used to be getting a bag of fritos. You're fucking off. I don't know. He had the noise. I have the noise.

We do a question at least? Guys, why just shut the front up? I'm telling you about your chivalry. How are you going to slap by me? Because you're doing serious stuff and you're making it foot. Oh, I'll come to your show. Oh, yeah. You have a lot of beauty and gorgeous.

It's like gorgeous beauty. No, I'll be there. You got money, folks. I think we all got money. I want my money working for me. I don't want my money sitting around the house, eating chips and watching TV. I want my money working for me. I want my money working for me. That's why I want to talk to you about Cash App. Cash App can do way more than you think to make your money work for you. If you direct posit at least 300 in paychecks each month and use the cash app card for purchases, you can earn up to 4% annual interest on your savings. No hidden fees, no minimum balance requirements. Also, you can hit your savings goals even faster by turning on the round UPS feature on your cash apps card. That's roundups, round ups. Every purchase you make using the card is rounded up to the nearest dollar, and that spare change is automatically. put into your savings. Don't let your money sit around and gather dust. Make it work for you.

Take advantage of high interest savings on cash app today. For a limited time only new cash app customers can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash for real. Just download cash app use our exclusive referral code, Harland, in your profile. Send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply, that's money, that's Cash App. Cash App is a financial services platform and not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, member FDIC,

direct deposit, roundups, overdraft coverage and discounts provided by Cash App, A Block, Inc. brand, visit Cash App slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Get on it. Make your money work for you. Cash app. Do you do it? What's that? Hit feed them. Okay. Are you to laugh?

You're crazy? And how long is the show running? You're a nut. Yeah. You like? You like? You do? You are?

Yeah. Okay, but maybe what if I... Wow. Yeah, that's why actually. What happened? The lasagna lips? Hey, Daniels. Hey, everybody, check out my merchandise at Harbling.com.

Yeah, most people just slap some letters or images on a t-shirt or a hoodie. But not me. Yours truly. Guess what? I draw my own. designs at harbleng.com you can see tons of my hand-drawn t-shirts. You can either buy the original or you can buy a print and man oh man wear them loud and proud. I love making these designs for you guys and keeping it personal. So check out the whole catalog. We got

hoodies, we got coffee mugs, we got t-shirts, you name it. It's there at Harbleng dot com get your harland original design wearable art at harbling.com today and thank you for your support and I'll just keep the the groovy images coming. Tell us about your journey with the game. How did you get here? I'm sorry. What would you mean? How you've got to this place were you doing the show? Nick's cousin is a... There's in a road, the Mississaugger...

...in a road, the Miss... ...and we met at our school. And Nick and Charlottles, our childhood friends... I'm suing. Eric's there. ...childhood. ...make a gorilla mess with... Ladies and gentlemen.

...kind of all the graduates towards Rhode Island. We found ourselves. Sam... ...we together, geographically, and... He was a dash... But we got conceptual, we're going to command it. But you started as an animator, right? Because I is too.

I think if I didn't do you know that you are yeah I didn't know your parents tiny I want to animation color big shows a black swell in the non Canada oh cool that's probably why we're connecting so well I hated it too I hate them all I hate you yeah I really hate you I love you to leave there to see I love to hate you I'll trash your wife okay I'll trash your sister's brace face I'll trash that too Hold your hand up the camera. This is a . Look at this.

All right, let's go. Hello. Hi, everybody. All right, you don't know. Don't tell. Let's go. Anyway. Donner.

Keep a blitzing. You move first. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to see something. We've taught. Don't tell you. This is a friend. This is like a college

podcast with Sam High. Give me a hundred. Give me a fabulous new schedule. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Tell the phone. What is that I'm hot.

Thank you. Give a hand to the nutter bunchers about that called? The bunches. Folks, that's it for today's show. What a treat. I wish we could have given you more on day. I really wish we could have kept this going. Our schedule doesn't have it.

Yeah. The foot legs of the adult swim. They're getting out right now. Well, it's so sad. We don't have the endurance later we read this part of our content for that. We're going to eat your face. Well, that's it for today. Until next time, chicken chow-a-way.

What do you know tonight? How's a meal? Tonight. Go to a midnight showing. All right. Yeah. We'll be back. We'll see you next time.

We'll see you next time. And any final word, Sam Hyde? Saw Fatch. No. Saw Fatch. Do you just come? Can we have a rape talk? Can you just come?

That was rapist. I was racist. I don't do you. Care about me? Of course. 530 a 18. I'm not satisfied. I'm not satisfied.

Yee. That's talking is really good. Hey, gang, are you craving more Harland Williams? We'll join our Patreon page at patreon. At patreon.com backslash Harland Williams, where you'll get bonus episodes of the Harland Highwood. podcast, our special call-in show, and you can check in with our two goofy dolls, the tender frienders, two guys in their underpants, for a small monthly fee, you get Extra Harland.

Hey, everybody, how would you like your very own personal video message from me, yours truly? It's your birthday, it's your anniversary, it's your graduation, or you just want me to make you laugh? You get to pick the topic. You want me to discuss. give me some talking points and off we go you can get it for yourself or get it for a friend it's super easy and fun just go to the cameo app on your phone or to camio dot com and i record a custom video made just for you or your loved one your very own personalized harland