The Harland Highway - Spring into Spring on the Harland Highway Spring Special Podcast

Episode Date: April 4, 2021

Just for fun, a little springtime podcast action! Nature's oddities, home style addiction, and Live Stand up comedy in another language (sort of) ENJOY, and happy SPRING! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, well, well, well, well, looky there, if it isn't my little Harland Highway pavement pounders. Hey, everybody, how are you? You know, just thought I'd throw up a little podcast for craps and giggles, as they say. Have a little fun today, talk about stuff, catch up on things. I'm going to tell you a little, a little nature thing I did. I went out in nature. Nature is weird, and you'll see why. I'm going to tell you. you a story about how it can be kind of weird. Also, there might be something in your house that might make you an addict. So be careful. All of you're like, oh, no, I could never be addicted to anything. Well, guess again, there's something in your house that's very

addictive. I think I'm hooked. I think I might need an intervention. I'm in deep, deep trouble. So I'm going to warn you. I'm going to illuminate you to this hazard in your that will get you cranked up and addicted. Also, we need some stand-up comedy, man. The clubs have been closed long enough. So I've got a stand-up comedy set that I've recorded for you guys. It's from about a year ago. And it's a very, very special stand-up comedy set.

Hint, I might have done the whole thing in a British accent. So let's have some fun. Let's do a podcast. Pick your nose, pick your face. Here we go. This is The Harland Highway. Sit down, strap in and tighten your diaper. Come on.

You're about to go down the Harlan Highway. That means that every woman in this village who is capable of childbirth is going to have a baby. You shit kicking, stinky horseman or smelling motherfucker, you. Tell me his name. You must tell me his name. This is Harlan Williams. Oh, well. My mistake.

I guess I'll be on my way then. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. What have you done to it? What have you done to its eyes? All of you. All of you, freaks. Heavens to Mercutroy.

Whether you're wearing a pullover or a cardigan, it's the Harland Highway. I have to hang up now. Yes! Hello, friends. How are you even? It's me. Yeah, it's Harland. And I'm doing a little potty pod. Potty, potty, potty cast. For no other reason than I was just in the mood. You know, I had the urge to do it. I was just, you know, I'm not doing the podcast full time anymore, but it's always there lingering in the background, watching me, stalking me. Stocking me. me you know prodding me and somehow it got through to me today and i'm i'm doing it man i'm doing the podcast man i don't care what you say i'm doing the podcast man um and i want to start with this can you hear this do you know what this is this is a garbage bag okay this is a plastic kitchen garbage bag and I think I want to eat it um and I'm not joking I don't know if you've noticed

but the things they're doing to garbage bags now is it's insane it's crazy I don't know what they're doing but they're doing it I like to make them edible it's uh you know they sent them I don't know why but I guess it's to maybe dampen down the scent of kitchen garbage, but they scent these garbage bags now, and they're unbelievable. They smell like fresh laundry. They smell like newborn babies.

They make me want to eat newborn babies. They're just like, God, I mean, they smell better than anything I've ever smelled before. It's just like a whole bundle of babies. I'm not a giant, but I feel like I should. be a giant and I'm eating babies out of a cereal ball. I'm like smells like baby powder. Smells like a baby's diaper. You know, I don't know.

Maybe it smells like sineying. I mean, it's ridiculous. Why should something smell so good? Forget putting garbage in them. I'm using them as pillow slips. I put them over my pillows. I inhale them all night. I mean, if you could go, go and smell your garbage.

Go and sniff your garbage bags. Who came up with this? Why don't they just make them like licorice flavor and chocolate chip and coconut cream pie? I mean, is it any wonder? Sea turtles and whales are eating this crap? It smells delicious. Do whales and sea turtles eat babies?

I don't know, but probably now. I mean, who thought of this? I just, I want to use it as a problem. pillow slip? I want to sniff it while I'm sleeping. I don't want to throw away my garbage. I pick up my garbage. Oh, I better take the garbage out. Oh, I can't throw this away. This smells better than a Thanksgiving turkey coming out of the oven. Right? You ever seen the show Hoarders? I never got it. I never understood. Who are these freaks? that hang on to their garbage.

You know, they go into their houses and it looks like a black bear from a dump lives there. Like, I've seen more, I've seen less garbage at a dump out in the country. You ever been to a garbage dump out up north where people don't have garbage service? It's just like people dig a pit and throw their garbage in. And I'm, these hoarders.

And like, what could possess them to hold on to bags and bags? Well, I found out. This is why they hold on to bags and bags of garbage. It's delicious. It's like, you ever smell a bucket of Kentucky fried chicken? You just want to have sexual intercourse with that thing. You want to get chicken skin all over your private parts. Well, this is, I mean, have you ever seen these inflatable dolls at the sex stores?

I know you all go to them. Screw the sex, the blow up, Galls, let's all just, like, mount our garbage bags and... Oh, uh, can we make love to a garbage bag? Can it smell that good? This is crazy. It's garbage. Like, you don't need to scent it.

And if you're trying to keep away the critters, like, like the raccoons and the rats and the... And the bears, and... Well, if it smells good to us, doesn't it smell good to them, for God's sakes? I mean, could it be possible we're attracting more critters? Instead of raccoons, you wake up and there's nine homeless guys laying at the base of your kitchen garbage can? Um, excuse me, what are you guys doing here? Uh, garbage. Can I give you some food, some alcohol?

Garbage. We just want garbage. I mean, God. This is ridiculous. I think I'm going to become a hoarder. A hoarder and a sexual deviant with my garbage bags. And here's a look at this. I notice this.

The one I'm sniffing right now, they've printed on it. Okay, they've printed on the bag. let me read it to you. Warning, to avoid danger of suffocation, keep this plastic bag away from babies and children. Okay, well, maybe if you didn't scent it like a baby, you know, I'm sure babies are attracted to babies, and children are attracted to nice snuggles, the fabric, softener, bear laundry. So, you know, you might as well be dangling lollipops and candy canes and chocolate toffee in front of the kids and saying, don't go near it.

I mean, this is, what is this? So, yeah, I had to get that off my chest and let me eat some. I mean, the Baskin Robbins better get on this. What flavor would you like, sir? Could I have baby-scented garbage bag swirl, please? No. I mean, it's just ridiculous.

Anyways, I just had to talk about that, and now you're probably all going to be addicted to garbage bags. Next time you watch that show, Intervention on A&E, you know, where the family has to do an intervention on their drug addict or whoever, and now we're going to be seeing interventions where they're trying to pull their teenage kid full of angst away from garbage bags. Um, what are you hooked on, heroin, crystal meth, coke? No, twist-tie glad bags, man. Twist-tie glad bags. You mean this thing right here? Oh, my God, that is good.

Oh, you want to smoke one? You want to smoke a garbage bag or a baby or something? Anyways, all right, enough of that. I just stay away from your damn garbage bags. get addicted god oh what's going on oh i don't like that music oh oh that's why okay that's why we have the music i was fishing that's why we i was i was recently fishing okay false alarm don't be scared everybody um i recently went fishing and nature is so wow Nature is so weird. So I'm out fishing, I'm on a little vacay, I'm on a little vacay, and I go fishing, and I wasn't having a lot of luck, but in the span of like two or three days, this is what I caught.

I caught a thing called a needlefish, which is a really long, thin fish that, as you can imagine, is thin like a needle, and it's got a really long, thin. now with like alligator teeth and they're not that big I mean this thing was probably only like I don't know 10 inches long and she's uh and very long and thin and almost looks like a snake with an alligator's face so I got a needlefish and then I cut a blowfish yikes which is probably you know you got to figure if you're a blowfish and you blow up like a balloon and needlefish is probably your worst enemy, but balloons and needles and so then I catch a blowfish which blows up into a big circle and has prickles all over it. It's almost like watching an anemic porcupine stuff its face at a buffet and it gets super fat instantly.

And then I caught a little shark. I caught a shark. At first I thought it was a hammerhead shark and it was just a little guy. It was probably like, I don't know, maybe two or three feet long. You know, not a baby, but just a, you know, shark junior, I guess. And this thing wasn't a hammerhead. It had kind of a similar head with the eyes on each side. But instead of having kind of a rectangle head shaped like a sledgehammer, like a true hammerhead shark, it had kind of a rounded head like a shovel.

Like it looked like the head of a shovel, almost exactly, and the eyes were on the side like a hammerhead. And I thought it was what they call a shovel nose shark, but I looked it up and it wasn't. It was in fact called a bonehead shark, which caught me off guard. Because I've always wondered why God named some animals with such insulting names like ass, You know, the donkeys that are called ass. I've talked about this before. You know, roosters are called cocks. You get named Bonehead?

I mean, you know, I always said was God in a mood that day? It's like, okay, lion, giraffe, zebra, ass. Let's see, swan, elephant, horse, bonehead. You know, I mean, not really fair to the critters. But the reason I'm telling you is it's just so odd. Like, I'm like, can't I just pull up a normal fish? Like, it was almost like I was fishing at Dr. Seuss's resort or something. It's like all these weird, bizarre shapes and names and very odd looking fish.

I mean, the needlefish was odd, the blowfish was weird. The blowfish had great big round eyes. They didn't look like fish eyes. They looked like human eyes. and it has a mouth but inside the mouth is like a beak because I guess it chews on coral and it's, so let's get this weird

like inner beak and then the, the bonehead shark was like really weird. Like I literally thought if, you know, if I dried this shark out, I could literally go in my garden and plant flowers like use its head as a shovel. So just strange, strange, strange, strange.

Just, you know, no reason really, but just, you know, I thought I'd mention how wacky nature can be. And I'm just asking, God, above, can I, can I catch a normal fish, please? Can I get a salmon or a tuna or, you know, something that doesn't look like it just swam in from Sesame Street, for God's sake? So there you go. There you go. My little, my little fish story. everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering

50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy. I will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item.

It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harlan. L-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping.

Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. God, that Jaws music, it's just so scary. You can be talking about anything and it's still scary. I was talking about a little fishing story on it. I was getting scared.

I had to stop the fishing story. But here's something that's scary. We're like, what, a year and something into the COVID thing? You know, was everyone still discombobulated and confused and unsure and this and that? And it's still a little wacky and weird out there, for sure. And one of the weirdest things for me personally about COVID is, you know, a lot of industries got shut down and one of the big ones that got shut down, you might not be aware of it, but I'm going to tell you, the stand-up comedy club circuit

pretty much got like shut down, locked the door, and throw the key into molten lava. Like, uh, it was just devastated. The comedy clubs were, were shut down and for the most part still are. So to put it in perspective for you, I haven't done a professional live show at a club, you know, as a feature weekend performer, the way I normally do, the headliner. I haven't done it in over a year. Can you believe it? Over a year since I've been on stage and done like a full set. Now, full disclosure, I think I've done two, maybe three virtual sets at a comedy club near my house in Los Angeles

where basically they had people on TV monitors and I was alone in the club with, you know, a few staff who were all wearing masks and I'm up on stage with no audience. and I'm looking at people in television monitors. It's very surreal. It's not very satisfying. It was nice to, you know, entertain those people and do some jokes and do my act to a degree, but it's not the same. And when I say I got up and did it, it was like, you know, 12 or 15 minutes. It wasn't my full-on, like, hour plus set that I normally do.

when I headline on a weekend. Now, I haven't done that for over a year. And I hadn't even been on stage live in front of real people in over a year until about maybe, I think it was about three weeks ago. Three or four weeks ago, I did my very first outdoor set in Los Angeles. They finally allowed people to assemble outside at night. and not a lot of people but enough to make up a crowd and I did like a 15 minute set

I think I did two of them so in over a year I performed to live audiences for probably a total of like 22 minutes maybe half an hour two sets at 15 minutes each and I got to be honest after all that time I was for the first time in a long time I was a little nervous

I was a little scared getting up there, man. I mean, stand-up comedy is nerve-wracking and intimidating on any night. But when you've been doing it as long as I have, you reach a comfort level, you kind of get into a zone of professionalism where you know what you're doing. And yes, you can bomb on any given night. That's sort of the fun of stand-up. And you're probably going, fun. How could it be fun to be to bomb?

well it actually is when you're used to doing well all the time it's always interesting when you get thrown a curve ball and you kind of eat it and you kind of remember how hard it is and you remember how much it humbles you and you remember how much of a delicate dance it is with a live audience and sometimes you have nights where you just blow the roof off and you kill and there's other nights when you're kind of just your good old self, but there's always those nights when you crash and burn and you die. So stand-up comedy is kind of like a muscle when you go to the gym. If you stop going to the gym, the muscles kind of atrophy and they get a little flabby and they're not as strong.

And I have to say that the same is applicable to doing stand-up comedy, my friends. When you stop doing it, you get a little, at least you worry you're going to get a little lethargic. or a little out of shape. So I got to say for the first time in a very long time in decades, I went up on stage actually a little nervous. I was a little apprehensive.

I was a little like, God, am I going to remember how to do this? Do I even remember my material? Blah, blah, blah. And what was cool is I did remember my material, but I was like, I'm not sitting on the sidelines for a year. and going on stage and doing old material. No, we've been through a lot.

There's a lot to talk about, so I went on stage and I did new material, man. I did new, new, new material, and, you know, I talked a lot about the COVID and all this and that, and I think I messed up. I tried to record it with my phone, and I think I screwed it up. I'm going to look around for it

and maybe if I do another podcast I will play that I really want to find it in my phone but what I did find since I'm talking about stand-up I found a set that I did just before COVID hit and as you guys who follow me know

I like to mess around on stage a lot I like to experiment and try different things and so what I did is I did a whole set at the comedy store in Los Angeles on the sunset strip, and I thought, you know what, I'm going to do the whole set with a British accent, just to amuse myself, just to see what happens, just to see how people react. I'm going to do a British accent from start to finish and just commit to it and pretend I'm British and see if people like it or hate it and whatnot. So I did it. I recorded it. It was really fun for me.

I think I liked it more than the crowd did, but there was a guy in the crowd that looked like Orville Redenbocker, and it turns out there was a guy in the crowd who really was from the UK. So without further ado, because we have been starved for live stand-up comedy, I'm going to play this for you, and I hope you enjoyed it. It's about 16, 17 minutes long, and it's yours truly doing material and spritzing with the crowd and putting on this stupid,

It's not really a good accent. To be honest, when I did it, I thought it sounded a lot more authentic and real than it sounds when I listen back. With this accent, it sounds like sometimes I slip into an Australian accent, and sometimes it's just a mess. But that's part of the fun, and that's why I do it. And half my bits up on stage, you can hear me go silent because I'm laughing to myself on stage.

So hopefully this puts a smile on your face. I know you've all been starved for live stand-up comedy. Hopefully it comes back soon. But without further ado, here's me at the comedy store, Harland Williams. Probably I went on stage with a fake name because that's what I usually do with my British accent. So enjoy, and then I'll talk to you guys on the other side of my wicked set, bro.

Perfect. I got it. I got it. Look at this fucking guy right. Here is a fucking guy right here. Give me a fottie church, a wanker. Here, I just gotta fight as soon as a while. He's got off of a fucking guy.

Go get a fucking tea bag in the potting roll, eh? Wanker, eh? Look at this guy here, fucking Orville Red Barker and a fucking drink, oh, hey? Got some fucking popcorn in your undies, like? You got your sour cream and under fucking popcorn in Orville Red Barker's fucking undies over here, eh? Fuck, be tender.

Fucking love it. You can sit down, love trying to do a fucking show here, love. here, love. Well, you could sit the fuck down. Was that a waitress? All right, get on and carry on, like. You, sit the fuck down, go on, how are you going? Look at this fucking guy, right? Are you doing me? Or fucking cheering and what night? You're all fucking lit up like a fucking Chinese fucking firecracker over here. Alright, what's your name, mate?

Angelou. Angelo, alright, so where are you from, mate? This guy right here, fucking nut of this one. Egypt, right. You couldn't have been from fucking bakersfield, right? Now I've got to come up with fucking Egyptian jobs, right? Make it quite tough on the old limey, eh? How are you, mate, all right? Chris Cross in the house, eh?

What's right? You can look away, I'm not like your eyes, mate. Oh, what a fucking place. You sit down, look at this. Where's Waldo? He's right, fucking here, that's what he is. I thought he was put on the Eiffel Tower, he's right here taking a shit in the back, that's it.

What he, where's Waldo, hey? You like him, where's Waldo, eh? You ever get a sharpie and draw on your penis? This. Not found Pottie Waldo, eh, right there, eh? This fottin guy, old cheering. For the United State at America, eh? Anybody hear from the Foughty, United A.

America? What I love it here. Fast food, everywhere you go fast. Do you like the fast food, love? love, eh? What are you like then? Wendy's, I bet you're like Wendy's, eh? You look a little frosty to me, hey? What are you like, armies? If you've been to all these, if you've been not all these, it's a fucking roast beef, right? A fucking five star meat and a fucking drive-thru, right? What if what does that? Only in the United, America, oh, right? I went to this

one place, five guys. Anyone been to five guys? You've been to five. Not the best name of the world for a fucking restaurant, right? Five, but I went in, thought I was getting on a gay boat cruise. I walked in, a guy standing in an apron, he's like, hi, welcome to five guys. And now there's six of us. Right, if you could all laugh just a little bit harder for me, I'll be along the lot, eh?

Hey? So if you could not drink in the middle of the air. Flying oatmeal reds, huh? When you orgasm, does it physically pop out? Just like... Oh, I got a little ouchy the other day. You ever get a little ouchy, mate, eh? A little ouchy, right?

Into the big cage, in your abdominals, eh? Hey? But you ever get a little ouchy? I've never looked at you, you're a fucking gang member, mate. This guy was out earlier today, right? You're punting old ladies in the family. I've got a little ouchy, right, under the rib cage recently and I'm like, oh, what the hell was that?

I've never had that before. I didn't get that in Egypt to get ouchy. Probably when you tip over and land on those fucking pointy buildings, right? I've let some of you got it, that's mine. How are you, love? You're doing all right. You ever put a Cheerio in your asshole and whistling the ears on? This fucking nut over here. But I got out to you, right? And I'm thinking, oh, I've never felt happy for, right?

What am I going to do? What are my choices, right? I could go down to, like, the fucking hospital, to the ER, right? I can go to the ER, right? I can go to the ER and get that little, fucking ouchy checked, right? And I'm like, fuck me, mate. I don't want to sit in the emergency room with like fucking 20 people covered with the Zika virus, right? Covered in fucking flamp and fucking SARS and whatnot, right? I've got to go in, I get into Venus, they poke me and prod me all over the fucking place, right? So here's what I did. I flipped open the laptop and I'm not right here, I got Dr. Google, right? Right, Dr. Google, right? I type it 20 seconds later, cured. I found out

ovarian cancer. I got ovarian cancer with a little splash of leukemia. I'm like that. Sicking it out just like that. Dr. Google. Well, then you get in like a rabbit hole, right, mate? A fucking rabbit hole, eh? You get in a fucking rabbit hole, right? But you start thinking, well, what hell else is wrong with me, right? And I always wondered about the lumps, right? We've got lumps right here on the tops of her feet, right?

I've got two lungs, right? And, you know, they call them ankles, right? Dr. Google, right? I've got brain tumors, right? I can die kidding a fucking soccer ball. I've got an athlete's foot. You ever get that more, Bill, eh? You get a fucking mum on your feet.

A bit scummy fucking feet. Your toenails look like Rosie O'Donnell's fucking Wisman team, right? Yellow and crinkly and fucking diarrhea. So I go on Dr. Gugel, right? And I'm like, fuck me, I think I've got athlete's foot. Dr. Google, turns out I've got a yeast infection on my feet. So I go on Amazon, right, I order some gluten-free socks. I wear them around for like, you know, a week in an half wall.

No, fuck, I'm cured. You, mate, what's your name? I bet you've got a fun name, eh? What is it? Arge. Arge. How you spell it then, eh? H-A-R-J. H-A.

Arj. Arj. H. J. What's the last name? Days night. It's a fucking Arj day's night right here. You fucking put these stuff.

together yourself so I don't have to do it for you. How are you, mate? You ever shove your ass in a fish tank and get attacked by a fucking broccoli monster? Fuck me, eh? What? Oh, fuck me. I've got on a dating app. You're on a dating app, mate. You're on a fucking dating nap. Anyone. Who's on it? Hey? Love? You're on the tip. Look at you love, old bashful and blessing you. You're on the Tinder, love, eh? You're on the bumble.

You're the farmers only.com. You know what I mean, eh? You don't know what it is, right? Tinder. Anyone all the fucking Tinder? Anyone at all? No one. Do you even know what it is?

You want to Tinder, little buddy, hey? Dr. David Roos Banner, Jr. I've had any luck, mate, on the Tinder. I see you're here with a fucking guy. It can't be working that good. A little bit of luck. It's not a good sign when you do that, mate. I've got a little bit of luck, right between my legs, right here.

How'd it go? Did you fight? He's score, mate. You scored? Well, it's pretty good, eh. Tim, do you get on a little buddy, right? And you go through all kinds of girls, right? Fucking thousands of girls, hey? Hey, mate, you've been on it. You're a good-looking bloke.

Thousands of fucking girls. You just swipe, swipe, swipe. I was swiping so much. I got carpal tunnel something like. Suddenly I'm like a velociraptor looking for fucking pussy. So if you can laugh when the others do that, we don't hear that. Right, and I'm looking, here's what happened, I'm looking at all the tender, looking at all the lovely ladies, right?

Oh, she's lovely, she's lovely. Ooh, that one's a little bit chubby. Ooh, that one, she's got a muffin top, this one. Well, it's got a mutton top, this one. She's got a whole fucking bun cake, this one. A whole fucking Baskin' robin' big chocolate chip birthday cake, this fucker. This is a chubby one here, eh? But I thought she had dimples on her face.

Turns out a cellulite came right up an ass and on you a fucking face. Well, you don't do fucking fat toast here if you're not going to happen now. I mean, you've got the fattest fucking people on the planet, and you're hot as well, eh? I mean, after fotted population, here is fucking flubber. Oh, fucking Waldo. We and you later, let's go fucking I down at the fucking steam band together, eh?

So look at this, I've gone through Tinder, right? Looking at all the girls, right, love? And all of a sudden, I'm like, holy fuck, it's my sister. It's my own sister, right? on the Tinder, eh? Fuck me, tender, like a funny Chinese roasted walrus swat, right? That's what, I said, a Chinese roasted walrus swat.

You got a problem, you know, a man, uh-uh. And I'm like, that's my own fucking sister on the Tinder, right? And I'm like, holy fuck, I didn't know this, she lives 5.8 miles away from me. And I'm starting to feel like a real fucking shitty brother because I'm reading all this stuff in a profile. I didn't even know about my own sister, mate. Right? She loves seafood.

I didn't know that about my sister. She loves Roman architecture. I didn't know that about me sister, mate. She loves to listen to the fucking Kenny G music, right? She loves to make love at the back of a Volkswagen van. And I'm like, what kind of shit brother of my? I didn't even know anything about my own fucking sister, eh? So here's what I did, love.

Here's what I did. I deleted my fucking Tinder account. I said, I'm going to be a bigger person. I'm going to reconnect with my own sister. All right? I called her up. I said, sister, let's just fine hang, love. Let's get out, let's get to know each other again, right?

I took her out for dinner, fucking red lobster. We just talked about family and life and Roman architecture. I drove her own, slapped on a little Kenny Jean music. And she was like, bro, when did you get the Volkswagen band? Well, let's open the back and talk about it, right? It's going to do them. Where are you from, mate? You've got an exotic name.

I like it. Where are you from? What part of the world? The UK? What street? What street, mate? What street? What street?

Do you not fucking understand, man? I speak your fucking language. What, you don't mean what town? What town? Alright, how about your way? What town, man? Where? Birmingham, yeah.

And in that fucking town are the streets? What? Then what's the name of your fucking street the fucking town. City Road. You put my and tell me down the first one. Thanks for the mystery, Nancy Joe. You sit the fuck down. I'm not actually British. I'm not actually East Indian. Well this is how I do with God. I will do the rest of my act as an East India. I can't believe you fucking people let me do a British eye and something. Wow.

What was it asked? You didn't believe it, did you? You fucking did. You fucking. What about Egypt? Did you buy it? You didn't believe it. It sounded like Forrest fucking blunders. All right, well, fuck, I ran out of time. It took me so long to to a British side show. But, uh, oh, that was fun. Hey, fucking knock your little baking.

Thank you, man. You know. God, Harold Williams! Come! Come! Oh, shit. Holy crap. How are you, guy?

Oh, you guys. What's up, buddy? Oh, so there you go, gang. A little British comedy for you, eh? Mate, Orville Redenbocker, eh? Um, hope you enjoyed that little, little treat. Hope it brings you some giggles and amusement. Well, many of us are still kind of flipped out and in this weird COVID reality.

But it was fun to jump back on, and who knows, I might do another podcast, one of these days soon. So this was fun to do. And as always, I'm hoping you're all doing great. Not that you need my love or caring, but send them my loving caring regardless, whether you want it or not. If you've already got too much love and caring, just crumple mine up and toss it in the waistbin or if you have a hamper for those days when you don't have any love and caring in your life, you'll have some extra there for me and you can pull it out and put it on and, you know, feel loved and know that somebody cares.

And that's the way we should be, right? Loving and caring, caring and loving. So I hope you're doing great And until next time everybody Keep on smiling, stay strong And until next time Chicken Chalmane

Baby