The Harland Highway - STEEBEE WEEBEE has ghostly horror stories from a house built over an ancient, demon, burial site!!

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

Thanks for watching the Harland Highway. Get tickets to the COMZILLA COMEDY TOUR : https://www.harlandwilliams.com/ This episode is sponsored by: Harrys -Our listeners get the Harry’s Plus Trial Set for only $10 at https://www.Harrys.com/[HARLAND]#Harryspod More Harland Williams: Harland Highway Podcast Video: https://www.youtube.com/c/HarlandHighwayPodcast Harland Highway Podcast Audio: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-harland-highway/id321980603 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harlandwilliams Harbling Shirts: https://www.harbling.com Official Website: https://www.harlandwilliams.com Twitter :https://twitter.com/harlandhighway?lang=en More Steebee Weebee: Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/steebeeweebee Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/quangou/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/steebeeweebee #podcast #harlandwilliams Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, everybody, just a quick reminder that at the end of today's episode, at the very end, there's going to be an audio-only portion where we check in with Lieutenant Commander Colonel Tom Dowdy. He's our military expert. He's going to be calling in. I'm going to be talking to him. And we're going to discuss the very recent military tactics that went down in Venezuela. Very topical, very timely. And this guy's been immersed in the U.S. military tactics. machine for most of his professional career. So he's going to be able to kind of bring us up to speed, fill us in on what that's all about, where it's going, what it means. Audio only at the end of this episode, Colonel Tom Dowdy. Moray Eels. Have you ever heard of a Moray Eel? Oh, yeah. So you know. Can you describe what they look like to people? They're thin. They look kind of like a water snake, but more rectalienable. like more not circular. They're more, I guess,

square rectangular like swimming. So you can't describe what they look like. Island if you don't mind, player. I respect you so much. I'm going to turn the whole thing off. No way. That's where my respect is.

Wait, you're going to turn your phone off? I'm just going to turn it off. Who does that? Me? Because I respect your space and I respect you. It's all about respect. Wow. When you turn your phone off nowadays,

It's like you're turning off part of your whole essence, your whole being. Well, that's fine. That's wild. That's big. That's, is that respect or what? Hold it up to the camera. That's gone to black. And that's what's missing in today's society.

I showed up how, I showed up 45 minutes early. Yeah. I didn't even hit you up. You know why? I didn't want to bother you. Yeah. I'm like, you know what? He's a professional.

Yeah. Probably had a late gig last night, had three shows. I'm going to let him get up on his time and shower, and I'm going to respect it. I think maybe our sense of time is a bit skewed, because you said 45 minutes. I remember waking up, I was making breakfast at 6.30 in the morning, and you were outside.

So I think it was just a little, you're here a little earlier than 45 minutes. If you want to skew the story in that way you can, and I'll go along with it. Okay. But I just, it's all about respect. Yeah, and you know what? I'm going to turn my phone off. Are you really, are you doing that out of sincere?

Is that sincere? Watch. Thank you. Watch, oh, I just turned Siri on by mistake. Oh, my goodness. Hang on. Thanks for the recess. I don't even know.

You know what? I don't even want to show the label, but thank you. This is really calming me down. This is bizarre. I don't know how to turn my phone off because I never do it. Hang on. I just figured it. I think it's...

Oh, here we go. Look, turn off. I'm going to show the... And I slide it like that. For those of you that never... Especially you girls... Can we toast? There you go.

That's respect, bro. That's not a respect. My phone is now zero dark 30. We've gone to code black. Oh, yeah. I love... I love... Go ahead.

Hello? Hello? Nobody. Hello? Calling nothing. Calling Captain nobody. Hello? I've never done this.

But the ghosts might... Are there ghosts around? There are ghosts, yeah. No, are you serious? Is this a... I don't... I'm not asking for a bit. I'm not asking for a bit.

No, this isn't a bit. This is... This studio is... Really? It's renownedly haunted. Oh, it is. Yeah, there's been a lot of extracurricular... What's it called?

Paranormal sightings. Voices, ghost voices. Voices. Vosos. EDP. Yeah. Paranormal. Mm-hmm.

And there was a paranormal's in here. A few years ago, it was my mom and dad, and they're both normal. It's a pair. You know, with you, it's always, I got to be on alert. Holy smokes. Look at this. You already drop eight jokes. Hello.

I know, and I, you know what? And I matched you. You know what? Can we do an experiment? What do you want to do? I don't want to do anything crazy. No, this is wild. Okay, okay.

I've never done this. We're in new territory. Okay, okay. You know, I'll go along with it. Picture yourself as I'm Columbus and you're the Vikings. We're finding new territory. I'm the Viking. Or I can be the Viking, you're Columbus.

I thought you was going to say maybe I was the native on the land. No, no, because we're two explorers discovering. Oh, I'm an explorer on the boat with you. You could be living, Stan. No, you're a separate, like you discovered something. So I have a boat. I'm an equal. I'm an adventure.

Yeah. So I have a little boat too and I'm trying to find islands. It could be, yeah. Okay, thank you. But what we're going to do is something that I don't think has ever been done with an iPhone. Why do you keep holding? Is this an iPhone thing you're doing? Because we just turn our phones off, man.

No, this is the thing. We're going to do something no one's ever done. You have to warn me. You know what? I'm going to go, okay, let's do it. Okay, ready? Yeah. No one's done.

I don't even think the people at Apple have done this experiment. Okay? Just easy to slowly get into it. Right? I'm going to ease you into it because this is big. Are you sure? This is new. I trust you.

Thank you. Oh, go out. Folks, hold your phone up, my guy. You can see they're both off. They're both black. I'm going to try calling you with my phone off and let's see what happens. Okay. Okay.

Hang on. Hello? Harley? Yeah. What's going on? Stevie? Yeah. Dude, you're not going to believe this?

Are you sitting down? Yeah. Can I tell you something? Yeah. Where are you right now? before I answer that, my phone isn't even on right now. You know what's crazy about that? What?

My phone is off too. Are you fucking shitting me? I am not lying to you. This is so weird. It's like a black mirror episode. This is a, how is this possible? I have no idea. Are you bullshitting me?

If you could see me right now, bro, you would know I, I, I, I, my phone is, oh, sorry, my phone is off. If you were to see me too, look. Let me, not. FaceTime you. Can you not see me? I cannot see you. Can you see me? I can't.

But I believe you. You know what? I believe you too. Wow. Wow. Steve Jobs is rolling in his grave right now. Oh my goodness. This is the next level.

Wow. iPhone technology. Wow. Well, I got to run, buddy. I'm doing a podcast with you. Really? How's that possible? I'm not even there.

I know, but because we're on the phone. But when I hang up... But you said, is it happening right now currently? I'm a little confi... Hello? Oh my gosh. Whoa, dude.

That's so great. Wow. I'm here. I'm here too. Oh, my God. Wally, wipeout. How are you, guy? That was insanity.

Wow. Wow. What a treat. Lady and gentlemen, Welcome to the future Welcome to the past Welcome to sci-fi land I don't know what just happened

Well we are kicking it off Welcome to the Hall-H highway Podcast with my supernatural Out of this realm guest Stevie Weebe is here Wow welcome the Webes Can I call you the Webs? Yeah

That makes me feel good because that's no one That's like a code That's like a bro word for us Yeah. Like it's only intimate buds would have a nickname like that. I love that. Do you just come up with that? I did. On the spot?

Yeah. Is that something that you thought about? Just happened right now. Okay. The webs. Am I nicer than my brother? You have a brother? Yeah, you said you saw him on the, at the store.

Oh, Bobby. Am I a nicer person in person? You know, here's the reality. Be real with it. I've known. You're home. Be real with it. I've known Bobby for 12.

25, 30 years. That was on my question, though. And I just met you about a year and a half ago, so I don't have enough face time with you. And just so you know, that's what today is about. Today is me getting to know you to see if you're more likable or better than your brother, Bobby Lee. Don't I respect?

Do I respect your home? Oh, dude. Did I respect your home? Did I respect your time? Did I respect not bothering you? Did I respect a lot of things that's going on that went on today? Dude, you've been nothing but respect since the day you threw that rock through my window. I don't know, you don't have to bring that up because there's cameras on.

Okay, sorry. You know. Hey, cheers, huh? Cheers for fear. Hopefully the aliens won't take us out of the 3-E-A-Atlas. The 3-Ey Atlas thing. You're the only guy I know that's ever brought that up. Talk to me.

No, I don't want to waste your air time on, like, you know, conspiracy theories or aliens or anything. Because, you know, again, this is going back to respect. I respect your place. I respect your time. Yeah. And I don't want to, you know, it's a conspiracy theory. But is it a conspiracy if there's actually physical proof of AI3? It's there. It's a.

So, therefore, how could it be a conspiracy if we have actual documented real-time footage of its existence? Would you? Let me ask you something. Can I ask you a hypothetical scenario? Okay. If there were friendly aliens, like, you know, there's the blonde hair, blue-eyed, you know, the Nordics or the tall whites, and there was a foxy blonde lady that said, Hey, Harlan, I loved you and dumb and dumber and all your work throughout the ears,

and I've been watching you. Yeah. And I want you to be my husband. Ooh. This is the alien talking? Mm-hmm. Telepathically. Oh, wow.

Mm-hmm. Well. But you're going to have to leave your beautiful home, your beautiful career. My beautiful life. Your beautiful stand-up. All three. Wow. But you're able to go, like, you know, do you like Star Trek?

I love it. You know, whatever. Yeah. You know, beam up. Beam up. And it's all laid out for you, pal. Mm-hmm. Captain's logs.

Start at 5.7.3.9. You are a fan. Right? Yeah. Would you do it? You know what? Since I've lived a full life here on this place we called Earth. Mm-hmm.

And you're telling me that someone could take me to a new realm, a new planet. Not just someone, your future wife, Harlan. Not just any woman. A beautiful alien woman with blonde hair, blue eyes. and she has her own mothership, just for you. Oh, you had to throw her mother into it. Nah, no. No.

I don't want, no. If she's tight. Oh, that is a deal breaker? Yeah, I don't have. The mothers are always bad news. Okay. Can't she have her own ship? Okay, she has her own.

So we're not going to the mother ship. No mother ship is involved. Okay. Okay, well, wait a minute. You're painting this glorious picture of this blonde, beautiful alien. Blue eyes, too. What's her personality like? I don't want to be floating through the gal.

Very, very. likable. In fact, very likable. And very funny. Because she studied all the best comedians throughout Earth, throughout the years, your kentisans, your priors,

your carlins. And she studied it. You're losing me. How do I get you back? I don't necessarily want a girl that's stand-up comedy funny. Okay. I want a girl that's

organically funny and just off the cuff and was born with their own sense of humor without all that influence. What if she farts a lot? Out. I don't need a gas ride. But what if every time she farted, she like giggled. Well, she may be happy, but I'm not.

No. Huh. What is she farting laughing gas? I don't want that. Oh, I got an undeniable thing that will convince you. Okay. I'm here and I'm waiting. If you go into the ship.

Yeah. The most delicious, gourmet. Michelin Star Meals, every freaking meal. I love eating tires. Michelins? I set you up for that, didn't I? Yeah, sure did. Oh, my God.

You were quick on your toes, huh? Yeah, and on my feet as well, and they're attached to my toes. My toes are attached to my feet, so you get the whole thing. So I didn't convince you. You know what? I want someone. It's not about the food. It's not about the ha-ha.

It's about a general level of consistent connection and chemistry. If you can offer me that where there's happiness involved and it's a genuine chemistry, you got me. What if she gave the best back massages ever? If that's part of it. So the best meals. Yeah. She respects you as a human.

Okay. And she loves you unconditionally. Like a bass and hound puppy? They love unconditionally. Yeah, similar to that, yeah. Okay, there's a little bit of a flaw in your proposition. Because I'm trying to come up with it on the fly. But here's something that's a flaw.

Go ahead. You tried to bait me with the best back massages ever. Great. It's a good piece of bait. But what you thought of... That's not the only thing. I said the food. Right.

She has a sense of humor. She farts a lot. I said a couple things. But you failed the fact. factor in out here, we're in zero gravity, where the back is not necessarily affected because you're floating, there's zero weight, your back is going to be fine. Last thing you need is someone with their greasy robot alien fingers all over your vertebrae. Okay, well, let me ask you this. Okay. What are you looking for in an alien wife then? If I'm missing the mark,

then what are you looking for, actually? I want a crop circler. I want a woman that can wake up in the middle of the night and run around in the corn like an autistic child and make patterns. So that's what you're looking for and I want a pattern maker. I want a dumb crop circle just running around in circles with a hockey helmet on alien. But what's the appeal? I'm like I'm not knocking you, but what's the appeal in that? I love corn. That's the appeal? I love it. You see you missed the one thing. I know, I know what? You baited me with everything but corn. I'm so sorry. It's like you ever see those wild hog traps out in Texas where they scatter niblets all over the ground and then the cage falls on the no oh that's how they do it are you you give me corn and i walk right in and boom the aliens got me

i like corn i like corn yeah i like canned corn i like corn on the car creamed what creamed corn yeah yeah yeah really good popcorn yes oh god hey cheers on that yeah thanks for having me thanks for having me Even though you're not having me. Hey, everybody, how's your shave? How's your shave? I think you might need a hairy shave. Yeah, I'm talking barbershop quality shave with German-engineered blades.

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Look at the smoothness. It ain't Harry. It's Harry's. Yeah. It just chops my grizzle off like a piece of fat off a T-bone steak. And for a limited time, our listeners can get the Harry's Plus trial set for only $10 at harries.com. Harland. This set includes all new Harries Plus Razor, one refined five-blade cartridge, a two-ounce foaming shave gel and travel cover to protect your blades on the go. Just head to harris.com slash Harlan

to claim this offer. And after you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. So please support the Harland Highway podcast and tell them that we sent you. Harries. Let's get rid of the hair and let's bring in the smooth. Can I say something? Because this is an exciting podcast. It all depends. What's in the notes there? I just noticed the sheet of paper. What's that? Oh, I keep a little list of notes. So you're, so you did preparation for me? I did, my name's Harland. I did preparation H.

Can I take a look at that? No, that's off limits. Why not? Maybe your alien girlfriend. Can I just glance at it? No. Just fling. You did glance at it.

No, no, no, no. I know, but I, why is it in all caps? Hold on your arm. What is it on that sheet of paper? Do you do that for every guest? Every guest. There's a little, it's just, it's my little roadmap. This is your life right here.

I feel kind of threatened by that a little bit. You should be. Daddy's about to open a can of worms that lost their squiggle. So there's, so there's a chronological. order on how Harlan wants it to go down on the Harlan's highway. No, here's the thing. The highway is loaded with different exit ramps and on ramps. Uh-oh.

So this is just sort of the general asphalt. Okay. But Harlan Highway goes off and on anywhere. I could maybe get to none of this. I could get to all of this. None of it matters. Okay, that's fair enough. We just go with the flow here.

Like Janice Joplin going canoeing with Jim Morrison up. Who the fuck cares river? You brought it up. Yeah. Because you love. I'm just saying Laurel Canyon has a lot of history. Yeah. And I drove by it the other day.

Oh. And because I know Jim Morrison and a lot of the hippie artists. Yeah. And Joplin. Was Hendricks up here? Hendricks, Zappa, Fleetwood Mac, the Stones. They all lived on Laurel Canyon. Why do you think that is?

I think because it was close to the bars. Oh, I was going to guess because the nature and the trees. Maybe. Yeah. But most rock stars just love their addictions and don't really understand nature I've ever been in it. Is that, did you write that down on the show there? No, but speaking of rock stars, I'm in a reference,

because this is a special podcast. Oh, my God. Here's why. I'm not as quick as you, man. No. My brain's slow, man. Dude, you at this. Come on, man.

Give me a really easy. Ease into it. Dude, I feel like I'm on... These aren't trick. This isn't a trap. Okay, man. This is something you're going to have a wide birth of knowledge on. You're so quick on your toes.

You're just being real quick on your toes. I could hardly... No. Cognitively keep up. Dr. Pepper, listen. You know what? This is really helping me, though. It is?

The color pink? Oh, no. Oh, the drink. Yeah, it's really nice. Good. Can I grab another one when I leave? Grab one right now, if you want. No, it's fine.

But hold up. No, let's... Because now I'm frantic. You got me frantic, man. No, I think you're going to like this because we're in celebration. You know what? You're right.

You're right. Let me just throw this out of you. Okay. This is a celebration this year. Listen... All right, dude. By the way, Stevie Weeby is here, ladies and gentlemen. Comedian, podcaster.

You're the comedian. I've done comedy, but you're the comedian. He's got a YouTube channel that would make a tuna fish sandwich suck an egg salad sandwich off behind a deli. Thank you. Tell them about it. YouTube.com slash Stevieweeby.

And that's all I asked him. I said, hey, Harlan, I'm not asking for the stars. Yeah. And the moon. I just, if we can plug my YouTube channel. Plug it. Because I'm losing some subscribers. Why?

I don't know. Oh, no. You know what? Maybe this will help me. Yeah. Well, in that case, plug it again right away. YouTube.com slash Stevieweeweeby. I do vlogs.

Harlan's been on. Wow. We have a fun time. I do cooking videos. Whoa. And that's all we need to do there. What is a vlog? Is that?

Well, it's just, you know, it's just like, if I were to turn this on, I could vlog, hey, how you do it? And then follow you around.

And then, oh, what are you cooking today? Oh, you're making scrambled eggs. It's just, yeah, it's just like, yeah. I thought it was a Dutch amphibian that sits on lily pads.

God, you're so sharp. You know, that was a good one. Have you ever had vlog legs? No, I thought you were going to say frog legs. No, I haven't had vlog legs or frog legs. Okay, I'm just asking you brought it up. Hand me that piece of paper.

No, here's what I want to talk about. Look, you got this, you're going to love this, because you like music, you brought 16 years ago. Take it easy, pal. What are you about to say? Jacko. Michael Jackson passed away 16 years ago. Please tell me any of your members.

your reflections on on jacko. Okay. Wasn't that easy? So you were so terrified. So, yeah. So when me and Bob were younger, there used to be a thing called MTV. Yeah. They just, by the way, they just canceled it like this month.

Okay, so anyhow, this is before iPhone, iTunes, any of this stuff. And then we got all of our musical information from this TV show called MTV, music television. I think it was Channel 30 for us in Poway there but anyhow I remember it was it was a very anticipated event

and let me and let me ease into and the video was called Thriller Here we go And then I just remember it was a special event and I remember we wanted to record it or because it had

It was almost kind of like a horror movie Yeah But mixed in with the music video, and then they had to do, dun, dun, dun, dun, done, down. Yeah. It's after mid,

you know, and all that. And of course, I'm not like the other boys. Well, wait, let me, I brought, this is a tribute to him. So, I brought, just, well, you tell the Jacko story.

I knew you planned something. No, this is all about, this is for, this is, this is for the, we're celebrating Jacko. You brought that down. Basically, he really wore a glove like that for real. I'm not like the other boys. He.

Okay, so that's insane. Guy five. Not high five. That's insane, dude. So that was my story. So, yeah, Michael Jackson Thriller. Yeah. And then that was perfect timing for the glove.

It was perfect. Did you remember the video? Oh, I remember the video. And it was an event. And John... See, that's the word I was looking for. Yeah. It was an event.

And you know what kind of event it was? Excuse me, I get emotional. No, it's fine. Do you know what kind of event it was? No. Special. He was a special event. He loved to say special.

Yeah. Jacko loved to say special. Yeah, he had a hard upbringing, huh? Oh, I don't, was it hard? I mean, a millionaire famous on television from the day he was like seven years old? It was hard for the kids, I guess. Gee, cry me a Big Mac. Yeah.

And you know what's on a Big Mac, don't you? Special sauce. Special sauce. Special sauce. Special. Do these viewers or listeners even know what we're even referring to? No. Because this was so long ago.

I think this was in the 80s, right? Here's the thing. It's not just this. Yeah, go ahead. They don't know about anything. Not them. Dementoids. Okay.

Well, you know what? We're here to educate as well. Yeah, we got, I got, I got about 14 viewers. We got Carl Leiposuction down in Detroit. You got more like 14 million. We got Perry Pernisosknuckle down in Bermuda. Am I tripping out, dude? And I don't want to call you out on this, right?

Because off camera, I see a can of possum. Yeah. Is that a real? Yeah, that's a can of cream of possum. Yeah. You can grab it, yeah. Dude, has anyone else spotted it? Go behind the cameras.

If you go in front of them, they'll go out of focus. Okay, so go behind the cans. Go behind the can I grab it? Grab the can of possum, please. Oh, guy. You're going to look. So, you know, the thing about can of possum is it's special. He, he, he, he, he.

It's so special. He, he. Yeah. Have you ever. tried it? Hold up, man. Wow. This is crazy.

And it's not, it's not any ordinary possum. It's cream possum. Yeah. With sweet potatoes garnished in koon fat cream. Yeah. Where'd you get this thing here? You've never had cream of possum.

They're our sponsor. Is it really? Yeah. Oh my God. Cream of possum. If you're hungry for possum and the campfire is just about to go out, remember, friends, Possum, Cream of Possum.

Oh my goodness. Yeah, they're our only sponsor. No one else will sponsor us. Dude, you got to make T-shirts of this. Have you ever seen Cream of Possom before? In your life, have you ever seen it? I know this is, it's all a joke, but it's pretty disturbing.

Have you ever seen it before, though? I just don't like, I mean, I like this. I guess this is pretty, you know, it catches your attention, but what's up with it hanging from a branch? Well, their marsupials and possums actually use their tails. And their tail is almost like an appendage and they can hang upside down using their tails.

You're so unpredictable. This whole thing is unpredictable. And why? Okay, why? Okay, so he's hanging from a branch here. And in this other picture, he's dead asleep. Yeah, they play dead. He's not asleep.

He's playing dead. Have you ever heard the saying playing dead like an opossum? Okay, so it... And no other animal does these things. Are you sure? And you know what? It makes that animal... Special.

It's insane. Okay, so I've never seen a can of cream possum. This is insane. It's special. We'll keep that there for the episode. Yeah. Oh, my God. You know what?

I'm not judging you. No. You do what you do. Well, everyone has their own taste. What's your favorite food on the whole planet? Be honest. I love pizza. Oh, so you like food shaped like a triangle?

I like Koreania sod. I like Mexican food. Okay. I love Italian food, Korean food. What do you put on your pizza, my guy? Pepperoni, onions, mushrooms, Italian sausage. That sounds like a lot of stuff, and that sounds like maybe a special order. Is this too special order?

Special. Special. Oh my. I'm just, no, it says he died. And this is, we're doing a little celebration to him. Right, let me get the exact number. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really, really educate them because you don't want to like skew them off the past.

16 years ago on June 25th, 2009, Jacko died. And holy smokes, that makes this a special show. So I just wanted to throw that out there. I wish he could really play Michael Jackson's music and stuff, because he had some hits, man. What was your favorite hit? I'm looking at it. I'm asking you to make a chain. You know how it goes.

Was he a cat? At first I heard words as, I'm looking for me. I don't know the words. Beat it. Beat it. Yeah. Grab yourself an egg and eat it. Have some lozze.

Lasagna, have some French fries. Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it. And then can I give a shout out to my main man Weird Al? Yeah, please. So won't you describe to the viewers and listeners who Weird Al was? Weird Al is. He's still alive, unlike Jackson. But what didn't he?

So he would make mock songs on already on hit songs. Yeah. So he would do instead of beat it, eat it. And then what other ones did he do? He did. Oh, God. Bad? Instead of bad, he did fat.

Because I'm fat. I'm fat. You know it. Yes. Come on. Because I'm big. I'm fat. Even though I'm fat, I'm special.

And he had music videos as well. Oh, yeah. Did you know him? Do you know Weird Al? No. That's some question that I have for you. Do you live here with you? Weird Al?

Yeah. No, I never met Weird Al. leave here with you? No, I wish. He wasn't your best friend? I wish. Oh my God. Yeah. I could totally see that. I wish at the end of a wishing well. Oh my goodness. Let's switch gears to sea creatures. Did you really write this down on the piece of paper? This is what you planned. No. Why are you upset there? I'm turning it over. Okay. What do you want to know about sea creatures? Well, I wonder, people want to know about Stevie Weeby. They want to know about your history, your upbringing. What did you just put in there? What are you doing?

Do a commercial for that. What is it? What's it say? Hang on. We could blur it out on editing, on the post edit. Oh, long cut school, classic straight, a pinch better since 1934. We use nothing more than special ingredients. Oh, yeah.

Don't judge me. It's a disgusting habit, isn't it? It is? I'm asking you. I don't know anything about it. It's chewing tobacco, rat. As I say, down in the south, chaw. Let's ask.

I got some chaw. What's your intern's name? My assistant? Your assistant. Amber? Amber, is this a disgusting habit? Amber. We have a question from Stevie Weeby.

He wants to know if eating, chewing tobacco is disgusting. Do you swallow it? Yeah. Yeah, it's disgusting. What do you say, though? I think it would be grocery. and just chewed it? Yeah.

Fair enough. Can I have the can back, please? News flash, buddy. You're disgusting. It's pretty disgusting. You said you want to know. You're the one that choosing. I'm being vulnerable and at least I'm not hiding it.

Okay. And so. I respect that. Full respect. So I'm not hiding it. Full respect. This is, yeah, I know. It's addictive.

You know what? I need to go down to the pouches. There's nicotine pouches. that could substitute... Have you ever been to Australia? When I was a kid, yes. There's a lot of pouches there. King crew pouches, you son of a gun.

Special! Special! Can you imagine Michael Jackson in the backseat of a Volkswagen groping a woman's breast or going to third base? Special! How is it lighting up?

I don't know. That's the Jacko. Special magic. No, seriously, that's a real question. I don't know. It's sight. And you're trying to get me to go with an alien and I can do this. You know what?

She offers a back rub and some George Carlin jokes. And my hand lights up like lightning from Peter Frampton's underwear. Well, alien would probably like you more with that glove on. I'm sure the alien would at the very least think I'm special. Oh, yeah. He-he-he-he-oh. Oh, God. Yeah, they already know about you.

Do you remember the first time you put your hands on a melon? Like you got to, is it second base? Is second base grabbing, feeling a woman's breast? I got, so we're talking about my romance as a kid. Like, well, how old were you when you first touched another person's breast? I didn't lose my virginity until like, I think second or 30 year in college. Okay, but that's penetration. I'm just talking about the first time you touched a,

Melon. I didn't. It was a long time. Very long time. Do you know why? Because I went to church camp and I got, yeah. Those church girls love that stuff. I know, but I did, I really, I did, I played it by the book. I really read, you know, was reading the Bible, bringing other people to, to Bible studies. And so, yeah, the, the, I would, didn't, and I used to pray in front, in front of the school at the flagpole. Like, I really, and then on top, and then on top of that, I wrestled. So I wrestled. Wow. Those priests. Yeah, church camp. They love to wrestle.

Yeah. They think all the kids are special. I love church camp. There's nothing like watching a priest canoe or throw an axe or light a bonfire. Have you really been? Yeah, yeah. No, seriously.

I can't tell if you're joking. Oh, yeah. No, seriously. Brother Fazzaclory was my counselor. So you really went to church camp too? Oh, yeah. The ghost stories at night around the campfire. And then do you have some good memories

that went to those? I can, brother for Zachary told this great ghost story around the campfire one night. He goes, and then children, it was a dark, starry night. And on the seventh day, he rose from the cave. And he ascended, like he's talked about this crazy ghost coming out, like resurrecting and flying up and out of beard. This is a real, this is a real story. And not only a story, but it's very stressful. He, he, he, he, he, he, he.

Oh, I didn't even realize the other. So that's where it was. So one and two. Yeah, and three. Why do you have the three to get the... Why did C3Pio have a three? Oh, to get the pickup shots. Why couldn't you just be CPO?

You're a Star Wars guy, aren't you? Well, you're asking three questions, and even though you've only asked two. What's your favorite Star Wars movie? Well, can we figure out why C3PO had to have a three in his name? Like, it's all letters, and then you throw a number in there? I have no idea. What's that all about? That's a very good question.

Was he the original LGBTQ? Like, was he gay? Was he straight? He was English. Oh, I say I'll too. Mm-hmm. Your finger is in my... Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Can you imagine, think of that poor guy. Who C-3PO? We see C-3P-O. We see C-3PO in this futuristic Star Wars world. Yeah. We see him getting shot at. We see Wookie.

he's picking up. We see the sand riders shooting him. Only they dismantled him too, remember? Right. They took him apart like the scarecrow in Wizard of Oz. He put his head on backwards. Right. In Cloud City. So all that trauma, Stevie Weeby, happening in Star Wars world, we think all the

traumas in the future, let's bring him back to modern day. It's late at night. C3POs in front of his laptop. He's trying to order something online. and a little thing comes up and says, are you a robot? Can you imagine what does he do? He's been through a lot, yeah.

Well, there's no button that says, yes, I am a robot. It just says, are you a robot? No. Yeah. So he has to sit there. Look at his merch that he can't get because he is a robot.

What? A robot can order a sex toy or an air mattress or a bag of meat? Yeah, and he was so submissive as well. He was always like taking order. from Luke and Han Solo. Yeah, he never stood up for himself. I say.

Yeah. I wonder what he'd look like if you took all the metal off him. English, like a pale English guy. A pale Englishman. Yeah. Well, you know what the better question is? What would R2T2 look like?

Wow. Probably like... Take it, think about it. Take it easy. Think about that one. Wow. But do answer properly? Yeah.

Yeah, as far as, you know. The right terms. I will use the right. I don't know what he'd look like, but all around it, I'm going to say he would probably look really special. There you go. There he go. That's a very good answer. I thought you were going to say something else.

How come since he was British? Like C-3Pio's wandering the desert. He's on planet X-Nor. You didn't even bring up the sand people. Did you bring up the sand people? I said the sand people. They shot him. Yeah, they mess with him. Yeah.

And then New Hope. But how come in all his adventures you didn't want to hear him go, Spotty Love? Yeah. He's a British guy. He's a British robot. Never asked for T-1s. Not only that.

You ever notice that they're always leaving him behind? Right. Right? Like, wait for me. Wait for me. And he's like, and he's trying, he walks very slow. He walks like, yeah, and he couldn't, they're always wanting to leave him, right? Special.

Oh, what a poor robot. I feel bad for him. now, because they're always trying to leave C3PO. They love R2. They love R2 freaking D2. They'll put him on the X-Wing. They put him on the X-Wing. Yeah, they'll put him on the X-Wing

and take him to the Degabah system. But guess what? They hate C-3PO. They'll leave him behind on every task. Every mission, they'll be like, he'll figure it out. He'll make his way to us somehow. He'll make it to the Millennium Falcon.

Somehow. I say, I'm very depressed now that I've heard about my life, R2. Do you have any razor blades, Artu? I'd like to open my cotter and otoroid. You didn't write that down on your page. Yeah, it's right here. I say Artu.

I'd like, I'd like to cut open my arse. Yeah, C3PO for like 10 minutes. Yeah, C3BO, why doesn't he have? You didn't write that down. And then you said, you said, what about the sand people? And I said, I already mentioned the sand people. You said, oh, yeah. And then you said, oh, yeah, and they kept pulling them apart.

And they put his head on backwards. You said you put, I'm going to roll the tape back. You would need another piece of paper for that because you just said like five things just on the C3PL bit. Right. But you said and then they put his head on backwards. Yeah. Did you not say that? Yeah, because that's here.

That went down in Empire Strikes Back. Remember in Cloud City? Yeah. He walked into the wrong room. Yeah. Right? That's all here. You wrote that down.

Dude, I'm not going to do a show unprepared. Okay. I believe it. That's crazy because that was a lot. that was a pretty big chunk on not only Star Wars, C3B, yeah. What about Michael Jackson? Because you went 10 minutes on Michael Jackson.

Well, the part where you said it was a very special thing and it doesn't exist anymore. And I mentioned thriller. Yeah. Yeah. And then you sang a little bit of it. And then you started, right here, it says,

I'm looking for the man in the mirror and then I started making cat noises. And then you said, I forgot the lines. Okay. So it's all there. It's all here, dude. Okay, okay. I just, you know what?

You asked me with, these were all about. I know, I know, but it just seems that you would need another piece of paper because there's a lot that's been said. You know why? Because this isn't just normal paper. This paper is... I'm dying to see. Just let me look at it once. Just, just, just, like, look. Oh my gosh. I see, if I let you see it, then you'll know what to say next. I know. I know. So this is, oh, you know what? You're right. You're right. You're right. If I show you this, then you're going to see what you have to say. You know what? You're right. And then you'll end up saying what you're going to say.

And it'll already be sad. To be honest with you, I really love these topics. So I'm not complaining. I really love these topics. Well, you really have no choice. I know, I know. So what's next on the agenda? Well, tell me about your experience with sea critters.

Do you really want to know that? Do you really want to know that? Right there. You're falling right in line, player. So what, so what, are you asking me what my favorite sea creature is? Do you have a memory? Do you have a childhood memory? and by the way, we still didn't cover

when you first put your hand on a melon. I told you that I wasn't a ladies man back then, and it took a while, you know, oh, you know what? Middle school dances, middle school dances. Middle school dances and went up with... Because back then, you would have to really, you couldn't do it on your, on a social, on an app,

you would actually have to suck it up. Start and you're sweating. It's pouring down. And then when a slow jam, like let's say, you know who Debbie Gibson. Yeah, talk about Debbie Gibson now. So, okay, when they play like Lost in Your Eyes, and then you see all your friends and there's already slow dancing on the dance floor. On the dance floor.

So you would have to suck it up and actually ask a girl to dance. It says suck it here twice, though. You're supposed to say it twice. Suck it, suck it. Yeah. Okay, exactly. And so I remember, I don't know if this counts, but just slow dancing, the melon would rub against your chest. Does that count?

You were supposed to say, is that right? Oh, is that right? Yeah. So that's right. You nailed it. Dude, you are so on book here. Oh, my God. It's uncanny.

Thank you. Are you a robot? No, but that got me nervous because it's like I'm thinking about my childhood. Yeah. But boy, did I get nervous. Oh my gosh. But you know what? You can learn from that

because it really makes you overcome your fear. Because what's the worst they could say? No, I don't want to dance with you. Yeah. I think most of the best learning in life comes from women's breasts, if I'm being honest. I didn't think you'd say that, but that's fine.

Yeah. So now we can graduate to the topic. Do you have a fond memory of a secreter? or any affiliation to some kind of aquatic moment at your life, where there was a... Go. Now, can this creature be from a creek? Absolutely, guys.

Okay, so me and Bob, Bobby, we used to live by this creek. Yeah. And we would take dental floss. Yeah. And we would stick a piece of bacon. We'd tie a piece of bacon at the time. the end of the dental floss. Right.

And we would fish for crawdads, crayfish. Wow. Yeah. Same thing. And so we, you might have to edit this part out. I won't. We would put all of them in a kimchi jar. Yeah.

And we would just have a bunch of crayfish in there. And then when we went to check on them, again, they all turned pale white. Because they were deprived of oxygen. Liam, I have to edit that part out. No, no, they were deprived of oxygen and they died slowly screaming lobster screams in the middle of the night. So blame that on Bobby.

So blame that on Bobby. When you see him... The lobster screams, it says here, could be heard through the neighborhood shrieking in the night as 50 cradets crammed in a jar screamed for their lives with their final breasts. Please don't do that.

Well, this is... She died cradet sound effect. Please edit that part out. Well. Because, you know, because this kid passes like animal cruelty in a way. It was so long ago. Have you heard of the Statue of Limitations? Statue of limitation.

I'm sorry, we were kids. God, I get so emotional. Hey, bring that up to Bobby when you see him at the store next time you see him. I will. Tell me what he says. Okay. But at least you were considered enough to give them dental floss. And I didn't know crawdad's.

teeth. So God bless you. Yeah. That sort of offsets the murder that you were worried about their dental plan during the murder suffocation where they were shrieking in the night. You know what? Since you worded it like that. I get so emotional. I really mean this? Yeah. Please edit. I can't. I'm just saying because that's not I can't. That's not a good look. Dude, we're on that's not a good look for not only us, me, my brother, it's not a good look for Harlan Highway, man. What about the swamp people that watch this show?

There's no swamp. They want the people in the bayou. We don't want a- People in the bayou love this show. They're going to love shrieking crawled ads. They're going to get one more because of it. It's such a horrible look. It's not a good.

You did it. Can we do this? Hear me out. I say all to. I hit crawled ads shrieking in the night. No. The question again, I'll give you a different story. Okay.

I'll give you a more PC story. Did you ever have any experiences with sea critters or fish or... Oh gosh. That didn't involve murder? Not to the swamp folk. No, it's horrible. I have swamp folk that watch this show. Oh my gosh.

It's so bad. I have Bayou people. In our... There's someone huddled in a shack by the river right now. We were kids. We were kids, man. How old were you? 13 younger

9 probably that's statue of limitations you're clear that was a tough story to get through but it was special dude are you are you gonna air that story

wait a minute what if we did the crawdad with a jacko glove that's a sign no three of the lights went out Dude, it's Jacko doing it's a murdered Croddad! As a form of content, I just can't- Why can't Jacko give us chance? I just can't believe this is content for you.

It's blowing my mind because I'm still looking at the glove and I'm like, in the back of my head, I'm like, I can't believe that he's getting away with this. With the Michael Jackson glove, he's doing dying crawdad noises and he's, and he's, he's, still has the Michael Jackson glove on. Well, this stays on the whole show as a tribute to Jacko. He died 26 years ago today.

I know, but what made you think of him out of the blue? Because today's the day he died June 6. Yeah. See, that's all you got to say, pal. Well, I must have felt good. Yeah, it was pretty awkward but fine. That wild? Yeah, that was fine.

It was almost like you were touching him, the man himself. Let's redo that with a fist bump. Okay, that's fine. All right. I had a... No, no more questions. about, go ahead, what's the next one? Well, I had a recent kind of seafood, sea critter story I'd like to share.

Please do. I was at SeaWorld recently. Have you been down there? Oh, yeah, San Diego. Okay. Yeah, we're from Poway, yeah. You're what? Oh, it's a town near San Diego.

What's it called? Poway. Poway. Yeah. Yeah, Poway. How do you spell that? P-O-W-A-Y, Poway. Yeah.

You know, W-A-Y. How-way. Sounds like an Indian word. How-way. That's so crazy. You said that? Yeah. Because I was almost, I was possessed by Indian spirits.

And I had Bible verses all over my room. And I had the worst case of sleep paralysis where, yeah, where they held me down. And all I could hear was this. So close your eyes. Yeah. You know what? That's a Codad one. It's alive.

How dare you? How dare you, sir? So they almost possessed me? Wait, Indian spirits? Yeah, because you said Poway. So I did research and I'm like, yeah, Poway, it is derivative from an Indian name. And so our house was built on a freaking burial ground. Like, have you seen polter guys?

Yeah. It was like some polter guys shit, man. Sounds like your house was very special. I say all too. There's some Indian spirits in the room. Wow, that's scary. This podcast is insanity. Now, wait a minute.

Did you, hold up. Did you expect it to go this way the way it's happening? It does not say insanity on here anywhere. But did it say Indian spirits? It did. It said sleep paralysis. The only thing that was so hard to spell, and I'll be honest, because I have it as

STFP FFF F F F F P-T-P-P-F-T-P-P-T-P-P-T-P-F-T-F-T-F-T-F-T-F-T-F-T-F-P, like that was a tough one to spell. Yeah, yeah. Is that the right spelling, by the way? As far as the ghost whispers? Yeah, I think I nailed it. Yeah, I think you did. I don't think you should.

You don't look too hard into that. Yeah, yeah. That was the toughest part. Okay, and that's definitely written on that sheet of paper. Whatever, the topic was, you were expecting that? Stevie, I told you, you asked me what the notes were for. Okay. I use it as a guideline for the show.

That's fine. I don't know why you keep contesting it. That's fine. Here's the proof in the pudding. Go ahead. Everything that's on here we've said. So we're halfway through. Why fight?

That's fine. It's all coming out. That's fine. I've read it back to you. Word for word. Okay. It's bizarre. That's cool.

You're fighting your own dialogue. Hey everyone, fans, friends, freaks. Don't forget the Comzilla comedy tour taking off this year across the United States from sea to shining sea, Atlanta to San Francisco and everywhere in between. Comzilla is coming to your town to stomp. the laughter into your brains. It's me, Harlan. I'm going to be playing beautiful theaters, beautiful venues, all across the country.

So get your tickets at Harlan Williams.com. Please get them right away so that you don't miss out. I hate it when people go there and they go, we're all sold out, and then you don't get your ticket. So Harlan Williams.com. Find your city on the Comzilla Comedy Tour. and I can't wait to bring the laughs to your town. And we go have some fun.

We go have some comzilla fun. We'll see you there. That story didn't scare you? It did. I told you it's a little creepy and scary. Have you dealt with anything like that here? Having a house that was built on an Indian graveyard? Or something like some kind of spirits or ghosts trying to contact you or...

I have. I just told the story, believe it or not, on the last podcast. So I'm not going to repeat it. I have had moments where, yes, I think we all have. But I'm a little mystified. Were the voices trying to intimidate you? Or were they friendly voices? Or were they dark spirits?

Sinister. How old were you? Oh, geez. So this is when... This is horrible. I had Bible verses all over my room, too. Like on the wall? On the wall.

Like the kid from the ring? Yeah, just all over. Like glued or taped? How were they affixed? Scotch taped. Oh, wow. So they're hanging on the wall like that then. And I could only...

Oh, the scotch tape. Yeah. And I try to yell out Jesus' name and I could only get the J and the E out. I was like... J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-D. Beat it. Beed it.

Deneen-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-che-ch-ch-che-che-te-te-it. Beat it. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. Special. Yeah, it was a special moment, yeah. So did going to priest camp or church camp, did that help get rid of the evil Indian spirits in your house?

Or are they just in your bedroom? You know what's crazy is they try to do that to Bobby, too. They try to possess him. You know how he got rid of him? How? I saw off? I'd use fuck off on those. I'd be like, I'd go Ray past off,

Ray past Deepwood's off. I got evil Indian spirits. Fuck off. He ran through the laundry room and he jumped in the swimming pool. So the laundry room was adjacent to the swimming pool. Yeah, it was like his room, laundry room, there's a bathroom shower in there, and then he just cannonballed into the pool.

But if you remember, poltergeist correctly, the final scene of the movie, they're all in the pool, and the corpses come up from the bottom of the pool in the coffins. Not a smart move jumping into the pool. Why'd you have to say it like that? Why'd you have to say it like that? Bobby should have jumped into the dryer. Bring that up when you see him next. Because you know what, ghost's hate or cling free sheets? If Bobby had jumped into the dryer, those things fight static, He could have twirled around. The ghost jump into the dryer.

He's got a bouts sheet on his face. Yeah. And you ain't getting a ghost or a spirit clinging to you if you got the bouts. Yeah. So bouts, paltigas player. Bouts, player. So highly haunted. Highly haunted.

Yeah, it was haunted in a major way. Did your parents know or was this just for the kids? It took years for them to even say anything. In fact, I talked to my cousins about it, and they would hate going over to our house because of that. They're like, dude, yeah, there was a weird ghostly energy in there. So when my dad, okay, so the garage was parked, and there's a hallway. It was only on that side of the house.

So every time my dad would park or my mom would park, they would feel like something was trying to drag them down, so they would run from the garage to their room. Oh, my God. And I didn't know about that until years later. So what, in essence, did the Bible passages do? It didn't help me. I mean, I'm just being honest.

I mean, but the thing is, the word Jesus did help me because once I got the full name out, and I said, Jesus! Yeah. Cleared everything. That's why there's power. I'm not religious, but there's power in that word. I think the demonic realm, they respected so much. Something happened. When I said it, it just cleared. It cleared the air, man.

Did you ever think of hanging a crucifix on your wall over your bed? No, that doesn't sound like a bad idea, though. Like a big cross. Yeah, I had like Depeche Mode posters. Yeah. And the cure posters, yeah. Yeah, I don't think Duran Duran's chasing away Beelzebub. Yeah. I don't think they could help in that case. Yeah. I don't think AHA is chasing away Indian demons. I love that song. Take me. Yeah. I can't picture Blondie chasing away some ancient Apache demon. No, mm-mm. Oh, God. You know what's, you know what's

even scarier about that, Harlan? It wasn't just one. It was a legion of them. Or a tribe is the more PC way to say it. Indian tribe. Okay. I don't think Legion. Let me rephrase, because Legion is a term more in like the demonic world. Yeah. So, okay, so it was a tribe or a legion, a legion of, a tribe of legion. Okay, we'll go with, we'll go a tribe. It does say a tribe here. A tribe of demons.

Demons, Indian, Indian tribe. Do we know what tribe? Were they Iroquois, Apache, Mohawk? I don't know. I would have to do, I didn't want to research that because it would scare me more, but there was something, just on that, it was weird because it was only on that side of the house. And later, when we, I guess. I guess when we're in high school, we built a whole different room on the other side of the house,

like more of a TV gathering room. So we didn't have... Oh. Yeah, so I'm wondering maybe a reason for that is because no one said it, but because that side of the house was just bad mojo. Wow. Now, knowing that you were built over an Indian grave site, sacred, Mm-hmm.

We might have to add the word sacred. Mm-hmm. Did you ever go out into the yard with a shovel and dig down to maybe see what was there? That's actually a pretty fair question. No. Because I was in high school. I was focused on cutting weight

and getting to the wrestling tournaments or whatnot. So I didn't even, I mean, now in hindsight, yeah, I probably, that would have been a good, you know, good idea. Should have bought a shovel. Yeah, just to see if there's, yeah. See what was there. Maybe, maybe the demons were asking you for help.

Maybe they felt trapped. Have you seen Pet Cemetery? Yeah. It kind of reminds me of that a little. Yeah. They want to have to walk over the hill. Yeah. With the stones.

He buried his kid in Pet Cemetery. The kid came back. Came back. Yeah. Bad soil. Yeah. Like Indian. By the way, the Pet Cemetery was Indian land.

You got to respect it, man. Yeah. I just got to respect it because there's probably some unsettled souls. But that's what I mean. Maybe they were screaming to be let out, and you just dug like two or three inches down to the sprinkler line. So what's the purpose of that? Okay, let's play that out then, Harley. If I were to find some bones, then what would I do?

It's not the bones. It's the spirit. The spirit is trapped under the strata, the layers of the earth. So that would clear it up? Well, maybe. I don't think they were going. asking for omelet recipes. They were probably asking for help.

I mean, when you're dead and you're going all day long, either you got throat cancer or you're asking for help. And you just ignored it and pasted Bible things to your wall. And here's this guy under the earth saying, would you get a damn shovel at Home Depot, dig a hole so me and my tribe can get up to Indian heaven or whatever. So wouldn't you have to remove the bones? No.

the spirit, the bones of the physical world. Stevie Weeby. Oh, so. This is the spirit realm. So you would have to release the spirits. They were asking for release. They were asking for spiritual release and you ignored it. Because it was so extremely, it was frightening.

It was extremely evil. How do you know it's evil, though? Did anything bad happen to you? Because of that. Yeah, but if you say that backwards, you want to hear it backwards? Get a damn shoveling up deep on up here out of this fucking ground. You know what? I'm suffocating.

Get a damn shovel that are only $7.99. Isle 12. Get the fuck over there right now. You stupid little. Take the fucking Bible passages off the wall and take a fucking hall. Let me and my family out of here. God, you're right. Dude.

I can't give you. I mean, just if you do things backwards. God, you know, I wish you're around back then. Yeah. For you to think that you just, you just say they're evil. You know what? It just came across as that. Yeah.

But it could have been like, you know, like, have you seen the. six cents. Oh yeah. When Haley Joel Osmond, when Haley Joel Osmond realized that oh, they want to communicate, they're asking for help, right? That's what I'm telling you. Because it was like a little, it was a flip on like his perception like, oh no, I don't know why I keep seeing these dead people, but he's at towards the end of the movie he realizes like, oh, they're asked, they want my help because they could see me. They were reaching out to you. Yeah. And now

Guess what guy? Way down there and Piawow or what, where'd you live? Can I tell you even a scary, like... Well, just before you do it, just, no, this is on you. They're still under the ground because you didn't let them out. So me and Jeremiah went back down to vlog. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Dude, what are you doing right now?

Do you have a ghost sound? I just can't believe you have a soundboard like that. I have no idea that you're working with that. Yeah. That's incredible, man. I was hoping I had some... Some ghosts? Yeah, I was hoping I had some like...

Some scary music. Oh, it's fine. It's fine. Oh, you could do that in post. Oh. Yeah, you could do that in post. Okay. Post editing.

Yeah. I find it a bit hard to work up on a post. So what happened? So we went back down there and he was like, yeah, let's vlog it. It'll be interesting. It'll be like, because you haven't been to this house since like decades. So we went down there and we actually went, we went into the property. And it was as if the people that were living there just got up and left.

because we were staring through the windows and everything. And yeah, it just, it looked like dusty furniture. Wow. Yeah, and so I know it was probably breaking the law, but I was just like, dude. And then I FaceTime my mom. I go, hey, mom, guess where I'm at? And she hung up on me.

Yeah. It scared her. She goes, oh, Kongu, where are you? And I go, I'm at the power house. click she just clicked off she doesn't want any of that and so i we went we went back in the last couple years and and so wow guessing the family that is current just said f that we're out of here because there's no one there wow yeah it's like the amityville horror house but california style yep mm-hmm yep bro are you traumatized i think so yeah yeah you are yeah you are

I'm sharing it on the Harwin Highway. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's called trauma. Wow. Yeah. Demonic trauma. Wow, dude.

Yeah. It also sounds like seven old ladies whispering on Bingo Night. You know what's scary about that? You said old ladies. It was in one age category. It was like all different kinds of voices. Not just one. That's why I kept saying Legion, because there was like a bunch of.

of them. Did you ever see anything manifest, like a face or a phantom or a vision? No, but physically, I was under the sheets, the bed sheets. I couldn't move, Harland. You were paralyzed with fear. They paralyzed me. With fear. No, you know, it was real. I was paralysis. I could not move at all. I couldn't even, I was trying to say, yell out Jesus. Yeah. And they're holding me down. Yeah. Were they covering your mouth? I think they were trying to. because I only got the J and the E out. I was like, G, G, G, G, G, G, G, G, yeah, yeah.

Wow. You're going to have a nightmare tonight, huh? I wonder if they just wanted, like, a jelly sandwich. Like, you got the J and the E and they're trying to spell out. Dude, I was going to throw this can at you, dude. Yeah. That's insane that you would say that.

That's insane. In sanity. Well, let me tell you my fish story. Did you have that written on the page? What? whole thing about the hauntings. I'm not about to go into a podcast and not have it be prepared. Okay, fair enough.

I mean, good Lord, what am I an amateur? Okay, that's fair enough. That's fair enough. What else do you got? Let's go. Well, I want to tell you this fish story. Okay. I was at SeaWorld about four weeks ago.

And there at Sea World, they have all kinds of sea critters. and they had a tank of eels, moray eels. Have you ever heard of a moray eel? Oh, yeah. So you know. Uh-huh. Can you describe what they look like to people? They're thin.

They look kind of like a water snake, but more rectangular, like more not circular. They're more, I guess, square rectangular-like swimming. So you can't describe what they look like. To be honest, I thought you were like describing a thing. Italian past it. They're like swimming serpents. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. That's it. Okay. And here's this tank and they're all swimming around. And they swim like this. And they got the big teeth and they're long and they're tubular almost and these poor things. And I was watching them swimming in this tank and they just seem too divine to be. What do you mean by that?

They're just like powerful, beautiful sea creatures and they, to be confined and contained to a small tank when they're really. real universe is the endless ocean. So they went from this sort of infinite space of underwater majesty to a box, a rectangle aquarium. So they felt trapped. So enslaved almost. And I'm sitting there watching

them go around in circles or go around in rectangles. So it's similar to the cradets? Yeah, except alive, not murdered. And you thought the Indian are going to give you a nightmare. I'm talking, dude. Special.

So I wanted to, I couldn't release these eels. But in my heart, I've like, I've got to, you know how to, you're a spiritual guy. You think so? Oh, I can tell you.

Spirit flows through you. Okay. You're sensitive. You feel the spirit world. I am sensitive, yeah. And I am too when it comes to enslaved eels. Mm-hmm. And so I metaphorically wanted to free

these long tubular beasts back to their realm. How many were there? There was about 12. And here's the irony. I couldn't steal them. I couldn't confiscate them or abduct these things. They belonged, I believe they belonged to the world, but sea world.

Were they part of a show? They were part of a, like an aquarium. Yeah. You can walk through and see, here's the stingrays, here's the sea urchins, here's the sea cucumbers, here's the eels. So I somehow wanted to metaphorically release them And I couldn't do it

I couldn't abduct them So on the way home I stopped at a Ralph's And I don't know if you know this But how many weaners are in a pack of hot dogs When you buy them I believe eight 12 Sorry 12

No don't be sorry I'm just saying The irony How many eel did I say were in that tank? Did you say 12? 12. Eels are long, cylindrical.

Weeners, not as long, but thin and cylindrical. I bought a pack of Oscar Meyer ballpark Franks. Wait, you went back to Seaworld? No, I went to Ralph's on the way home.

Carrying the weight of these slaves. So they were on your mind. swimming around in a rectangle, one of the worst shapes of all, by the way. There's a lot of shapes. I'm not a fan of the rectangle. Give me a triangle any day of the week. And I picked up a 12 pack of OMs, Oscar Myers, ballpark, the footlongs. And I went down to the beach at Santa Monica, and I pulled that package open.

and I laid it in the water and the surf came in and gently pulled those weaners out of the cellophane package in my hand almost like I was bringing a baby out from the tender loins of a pregnant mother and these weaners got pulled into the ocean and just floated almost like eels

out into the sea and I just watched them go into the Santa Monica sunset 12 Oscar Meyer weeners like moray eels just floating and bobbing and and somehow spiritually much like your demon Indian rape children under the house I felt like I released these eels back into their realm and was a it doesn't make me sense I'm sorry and I was very a zero sense why you would do something it's foolish I was trying I'm sorry oh what should I put them in a jar

and murdered them? It has nothing. It just, it's ridiculous. It makes no sense. It was not to me. It was emotional. So it was,

you know what? I'm sorry. It was symbolic for you. You are sorry, yeah. It was symbolic. It was a symbolism. It was emotional. It was real.

I curled up on the beach and wept. I wept a homeless, two homeless people came up and held me in their arms. My face, buried in their urine-crusted pants, corn nibblets dropping from their beards onto my tears. So you're releasing, it was a release.

It was a symbolic release of freedom. Of their release. You're releasing them. Similar shape out into the ocean, into the beautiful sunset. But the eels are still at sea world. They're there, but somehow maybe their spirits are free. I Oscar mired them.

I'm sure you wrote that down on the face. Oh, yeah, that's there. Are you kidding? Yeah, Oscar Meiered them. And then you said, I'm sure that's there on the page. Have you done stuff like that before? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Fair enough. Yeah. Wow. See, I thought you were going to do this. I thought you were going to get the pack of Oscar Meyer Wieners. Right. Buy another ticket to Sea World, go to the same area, and then feed them hot dog.

That would be like feeding them their own. And where I come from, that's called cannibalism. Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah. That's like if you took Bobby Lee and stuffed them into the hole in the yard so the Indian rapists could eat them. Or the Indian spirits, I mean. Thank you.

You might have to edit that part out. There's no editing here. Edit that last part out. It says, do not edit Indian raping. Good point. Good point. Thank you. Can we before, we're getting close to the end, but I promised you, I want strong plugs for you.

channel. We plugged it once. You're going to plug it again right now. Plug that damn. Oh, and then can I plug my band camp as well? Yes. Okay, so go to YouTube.com slash Stevieweeby, and then I also have music on stevieweeby

bandcamp.com. And those are the two. Yeah, go check that out. Can we end? Yeah, and then we'll end it with the... And I am coming for you. What's good at all? I am coming for you with it. of night and I will pull you with your brother on the ground and rub us to my own

your wreathers all over your face. Hey everybody, check out my merchandise at Harbling.com. Yeah, most people just slap some letters or images on a t-shirt or a hoodie. But not me. Yours truly. Guess what? I draw my own designs at Harbleng, You can see tons of my hand-drawn t-shirts.

You can either buy the original or you can buy a print. And man, oh man, wear them loud and proud. I love making these designs for you guys and keeping it personal. So check out the whole catalog. We got hoodies. We got coffee mugs. We got t-shirts. You name it.

It's there at harbleng.com. get your Harland original design, wearable art at Harbling.com today. And thank you for your support. And I'll just keep the groovy images coming. Check. That's not bad. That's a little friendlier. Mm-hmm.

Okay. Let's do this. Okay. And this works really special. Stevie Weeby, our final segment. words from a wooden shoe. You reach into the shoe. There's random words.

You read it and see if it sparks a story from your memory. Okay. From your journey. No problem. From your days in the Indian rape house. Don't see that. Don't worry like that. The Indian grave.

Spirit house. Thank you. The rape things happen. Thank you. Just take it. One word, Stevie, weepy, and what is it? Share it with us. Worst date ever.

Oh, wow. Probably right now, I would think. No, this is not the worst. That's what it says here. So I met me and my friend Ace, went to Greco's Pizza. We were hitting the clubs one night, and I met a homeless. woman and we came back and we partied and she was I think she was schizophrenic and she said that the church of Satan telepathically would communicate with her so that was a bad date

And I remember my brother came over to check up on me and he saw, he saw, you know, I was hanging out. And I just remember the look of disappointment. And he was like smoking a cigarette in my little kitchen area. Like, oh, man, what are you doing? So basically she said the head of the Church of Satan said that, like, they were meant to be together. And she said that she saw every time she used the sink of blood would come out. And so I remember, yeah, I guess that was probably a bad date. Yeah, when there's blood coming out of the sink, that's a pretty bad date.

Was there shit coming out of the bathtub? Thanks for having me. Ladies and gentlemen, what a guest, Stevie Weeby, YouTuber, YouTuber, YouTuber, Ladies and gentlemen, what a guess. Stevie Weeby, YouTuber, a philanthropist, crayfish murderer. Stevie, one last time, I insist, before we go, tell them where they can find you, see you, get on your social media.

Oh my God, Stevie. My Instagram's Instagram at Kuangu, Kuanu, and then YouTube.com slash stevieweewee and Stevieweeby bandcamp.com. Folks, what a show. And let me just check my final notes here. That's it for this time. Thanks for being here. Until next time, chicken chow main, baby. You want to go to Arby's?

Okay, folks, it's time to give away our next shirt from the Adam Ray fashion show. I don't know if you remember the episode with Adam Ray. Go back and check it out. We did a fashion show where yours truly was getting rid of some of his fabulous shirts. And instead of give him to Goodwill, we said, let's do an exchange. So I asked you, the beautiful viewers, to submit your artistic creativity. your songs, your artwork, your poems, whatever you wanted to submit, and we'd pick ones that we like and trade it off for a shirt.

So Kenny McClellan sent in this great rendering of Fat Albert. I don't know if you remember the cartoon character, Fat Albert from the 60s and the 70s, but he put a modern twist on it and he turned Fat Albert into Fat Albert Einstein. Take a look. Hilarious. Great artwork, Kenny. Funny, original,

and who doesn't want a fat Albert Einstein? So Kenny asked for this beautiful shirt here, the one with the cactus and the roadrunners on it and beautiful Western Desert shirt. And not only that, but Kenny asked if I would sign it for him. So Kenny, we are going to do this. that let me find a good spot to write my my beautiful name here right it right underneath the Roadrunner how about that how do I spell my name H-A-R-L-A-N-D is it

L-A-N-D is it L-A-N-D now this goes from just being a regular old shirt to a designer Harlan shirt Let's just show you that so you can see that I did it. Right there underneath the road running, you can see my name. So Kenny, thank you so much for your contribution, for your craftsmanship, your artistry. We'll be sending your shirt out to you. And as we go along here, we'll be posting some more of our winners. I think we have three or four more shirts to go.

so thank you so much for being part of the Adam Ray fashion show and your shirt is on the way, big guy. Meep. Hey, everybody, how would you like your very own personal video message from me, yours truly? It's your birthday, it's your anniversary, it's your graduation, or you just want me to make you laugh. You get to pick the topic you want me to discuss. Give me some talking points, and off we go.

You can get it for yourself or get it for a friend. It's super easy and fun. Just go to the Cameo app on your phone or to Cameo.com. And I record a custom video made just for you or your loved one. Your very own personalized Harland. Well, here we are, folks, at the dawn of a new day, I guess you'd call it. President Trump and the United States military went into Venezuela, took out the dictator-leader leader, and what a turn of events. And let's get on the line right away with our military expert.

He's a seasoned veteran of war. He's been in many conflicts over the decades. I'm talking about our man down in Camp Pendlington, California. Lieutenant Colonel, right-wing commander, Navy SEAL, Lieutenant Sergeant, Tom Dowdy. Sir, are you there, sir? Go ahead, civilian. Yes, sir. Tom Dowdy, sir.

How are you today? It's the dawn of a new tomorrow, civilian. Now there's an opening statement. expand on that, sir? Whenever you're living under a rock or hiding behind a waffle house. There's a new boss in town. Sir, are you okay? Oh, I'm okay.

I'm just clearing out the mucus the same way our commander-in-chief is clearing the mucus off the face of this planet. Wow, sir. Yeah, it was quite the... thing. Everyone went to bed down in Venezuela. Lights out. Just another normal night. And here comes the Sandman. Sir?

Oh, yeah. The Sandman came boots on. His nightmares. And anybody that was dry hump in their South American mattress got a boop to the back of the head. Wow. Yeah, this was like a surprise attack. Can you talk to me on a tactical level? Lieutenant Commander, South Korean War Tenant, about the tactics used to pull off this kind of surprise attack. Bingo. Sir? I know, sir, but you keep coughing. Is everything okay?

A mucus. You ever have mucus cowboy? Well, when I've been sick, sir. A roof with your pillow. What's on my pillowcase, sir? Sir, it smells like your sister's eyelids. What are you talking about, sir? Mucous. Sir, if we could stick to the tactics of a midnight raid?

Yeah, nighty night. We call it nighty night. When I was in Vietnam in the jungles of Bien-Bien-Fu, we're night. Okay, now we're all. to something. What does that mean exactly, sir? They have their cup of warm milk and their chocolate chip cookie, and their little toes are curling up under their sheets.

Daddy's coming to town with a bag full of quarters, a Chinese thunderstick, and your sister's demented diary. Wait, what? Wait, what? You heard knock. Daddy creeps down. streets down the hall. It lights out. Yes, so, so this all took place at night is kind of what you're saying.

Oh, it took place at night all the night. The owls, and they were staring at their own big, bulgy fucking eyes, like a pair of squid juggling octopus legs in a Chinese. Sir? Sir, are you okay? In a Chinese bouncy house. Sir, what are you saying? A Chinese bouncy house.

Squids and octopuses juggling legs in a Chinese fun house? Bouncy house. Now either you use your ears or use your ears to go get some corn. Corn, sir? Yes. Sir, if we could just focus on the tactical aspect of launching, I don't know how many aircraft Jets, helicopters, fighter jets. I mean, it won two in the morning.

Surprise. You ever have a surprise party when you're a little boy from school? Open the door and all your... Sir? Sir, why would there be Christmas cake pudding at a birthday party? You tell me, fungus teeth. Sir, I'm not fungus teeth. Now, the midnight rain.

please. So a Venezuelan dictator, you've been running drunk. Sir! Cancer. And you're laying there thinking you got a whirl by the vainy purple hairy ball sack. Sir, if we could not be so descriptive like that. You lay in there. You're like a...

The angels, sir? Let me give you an example, civilian. Sir? Hang on. Sir, is that helicopter? Step on a piece of gum and scream, you're making machine gun noises? The United States ship in your midnight angels,

and they're going to stomp up and down on your nut sack until it looks like an order of Denny's French toast, but somebody forgot the syrup. Sir, I'm not sure that that... Sir, we get it, the midnight. Angels. Yeah. Sir, enough with the noises, please.

No, sir, I would never order you around. I'm just saying that might be hard on our listeners to hear those awkward noises. Playing. I'm not a brontosaurus clencher. I'm not playing a game. Like you were pissing all over the parade. I mean, pissing on the clowns that walk on their hands. Pissing on the elves that fly down the street on the street.

Santa Claus float and pissing on that Charlie Brown balloons that float down Main Street and smell like polyurethane, diarrhea, and an Armenian banquet hall. Sir, please stay on track here. Now, what is the net result of this surprise attack where our president, our commander-in-chief took out this Venezuelan? leader. I'll tell you what the million. Of course, sir. We'll take a deep sniff.

Sir? Why don't I do it? Sir? Sir, you don't have to... Shut up. Sir, what are you... Of what, sir? Of your sister's crack.

What do you? I've freedom. American free train with a birch stick. Picking the dog shit out of the heel in your shoe. I'm taking... taken a deep sniff, deep sniff of American freshly baked freedom, just pulled out of the oven, placed on the window ledge, and given the middle finger to every Blue J. Grackle Cardinal and through the fucking field.

Sir, okay, so they pulled off this thing. There's questions about the legality of it. They judge Judy, are we? No, sir, it's just that, you know, you look at the media, you look at the politicians, and they're jumping up and down going, this wasn't legal, how could you do this? I'll tell you what, Louisiana and back up into Dallas, Texas, a cancer that stinks like a melanoma on the side of a bullfrogs sticking out of their arm, crawling with heroin. Sir, Dr. Pepper? Sir, so what do you say?

saying? What I'm saying is someone just put a cork great in the ass of Venezuela. Say goodbye to all the illegal imports for the gang members. Well, there's a new gang in town. It's called lick the back of my pink swollen Armenian nutbag. Sir, are you even Armenian? No. Sir, how is that even physically possible? Have you ever played squash? a racquetball down at the Armenian Community Center? No, I haven't, sir. Well, Armenian nutbags laying all over the floor like ripe blueberries in the middle of the... Why don't you put that under your hat?

Go eat a fucking yellow squash and shit a trail that leads all the way to the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe's whorehouse. Sir, what does that mean? What are you saying? What I'm saying, civilian? is that I did 12 tours of duty in Vietnam. I spent weeks on end in the jungles of Bien Bienfou. I wrestled with anteaters. I fought with crocodiles, and I punched a fucking hippopotamus right in the fellow fetus

flew out of its throat. Sir, you don't. There's no hippopotamus in Vietnam. So now you're the... No, I'm not the war expert, sir, but there's no hippopotamus. Potomuses in Vietnam. Sucking. Licking. Sir, I'm not a fungus face.

I think we may be better wrap. Have you been drinking it all, sir? Does a camel like to play with its humps? You know. Sir, Dolly Parton's dits are not under the camel humps. You keep telling yourself that Tommy Knocker, and I'll buy a house full of fudge in Louisiana and sell it to a crad ad. Sir, can we conclude this conversation?

What, what, where do we go from here? United States of America keeps telling the world is the old of the dance hall. Step all over the Caracas. Accuracally crunch, munchily munch. Okay, sir, what the hell was that? Sir, I think we better wrap this up. Any final words before we sort of kind of, close the door on this major military historical event?

Yeah. Sir, please don't. Shut up, whore. I'm not a whore, please don't. Shut up. Don't send them the midnight angels. Shoot, sir. Sir, stop shooting.

What was that last part? Fucking off. Sir, don't... Fuck off. Why do you have to get so aggressive at the end? I'm just trying to... Who am I talking to? to. Well, folks, there it is. I hope that help. That's a breakdown of the military situation.

Is he gone? Good Lord. Why do we even call this guy? Good God. God bless America. Goodbye. God. Was he drinking?