The Headgum Podcast - 100: The 100th Episode

Episode Date: April 29, 2022

Jake, Amir, Marika, and Billy Scafuri join Geoff for the 100th episode of the podcast and to discuss the evolution of the show, to hear from previous guests, and to explore the idea of widsom! BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify. Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Major key alert. If you're searching on Etsy for vintage finds, be sure you know your pit-to-pit measurements, because that's going to be, at least if you're a broad-shouldered person like me, that's going to be the main thing,

because otherwise you're going to be restricted, and it's not going to feel like a hug. It's going to feel too snug. It's going to feel too slim fit for your trim dick. Basically know your measurements for if you're shopping on vintage Etsy online or anywhere. Did you just want to tell people you had broad shoulders? And a trim dick.

Yeah, it's very thin. Sand it down. What have you bought recently, Jeff? What's that? Never mind, man. Woo! Right? 100 episodes in the bag, man.

This is unbelievable that we've made it this far. I mean, if the celebration calls for it. Noon on a Friday. 100 episodes in the bag. 100 episodes and a half. Stop. 200 more. You had to clean that up, man. What's that? That will be a water stain in like 30 seconds.

Really? Yes. The table is covered in liquid. This is crazy. And it reeks like booze. I'm not going to apologize for being celebratory. I'matory not asking you to apologize i'm just stating the facts it'll be hard to can i can i also say yeah that i couldn't see anything that jeff was doing on the table i could only see really his torso and i honestly i honestly assumed that he got like champagne flutes and stuff and then when he pulled back and revealed the old

head gum logo mason jar I was really upset I was I was not happy about it that was easy knock amongst yourselves 200 more spills booze all over the table

now he can't hear us slander him right I wish I could see anyone else besides Amir spills booze all over the table. This is good because now he can't hear us slander him. Right. I wish I could see anyone else besides Amir's weird sunglass plaid Madras shirt look, but alas, that's all I can... Marika's seeing us through Jess' laptop,

which is just facing me and Jeff. Yeah, it's mostly a cactus right now. Yeah. And a little bit of Amir. Well, I'm trying to support my brother in sunglasses. I'm wearing shades too, Marika, just so you know. Oh, that's good to know. Yeah, that helps a lot.

It's difficult. Jesus. Can you imagine? I can only imagine what camera two is seeing right now. Oh, no, it's spilling on the carpet. It's such a non-absorbent paper towel. He was just sort of

shuffling the liquid around. Yeah. Like, I get, like, tolerating him in the conversational realm, but when he starts just trashing your furniture... Also, can you see the discrepancy in, like, amount of champagne poured? Yeah. One of the mason jars is filled to the brim.

The other two are, like, at 20% and 33% capacity. Here's one. So here's mine, which is, like, I wouldn't even drink this much apple juice, let alone champagne at 12, 11 p.m. Yeah. Obviously. And then this is Billy's. Oddly a different shade of yellow.

I don't know how that works out. Jeff is on one knee. He's on bended knee. Pushing alcohol. Not absorbing liquid off the table, pushing it into his hot little hand. Maybe you should just drink it off of the table. Oh, that's cool. If he slurps it up, that's probably faster, to be honest.

Yeah, slurp up the liquid from a table. He was kind of like rushing us along to get this podcast started because he has four segments he really wants to get to. The first five minutes of this podcast has been him cleaning up his mess. I will say, though, we're closer to it being 100 minutes long. So just keep that in mind. Yeah, I don't have time for that, but that sounds like a good... Let me help you out a bit.

Yeah, otherwise it would have been a good... Don't restart the music. Like, I mean, yeah, I have a LaCroix. Not as exciting. You also could have, like, posted me a bottle of champagne or something. I had the champagne idea as I walked into work.

Yeah, I'm not surprised. I also wasn't going to dress up. Also, you guys could have fucking dressed up. I am a little bit. What's that? I am a little bit dressed up. Sunglasses? No, the button-up shirt.

Sunglasses, I don't need. Are we done with the sunglasses? Yeah, I think so. They might come back. I put a lot of sweat equity into this show, and I think that by virtue of how I'm dressed, it shows. And you guys are looking a little schlubby, especially Mariko. We started recording at noon.

You texted me at 11.43, said Jake can't make it. Can you be his backup? And here I am. All right, I'll give Billy a pass. But you know what? What's your excuse, ass? I'm dressed a little nicer. Like I usually wear shorts and a tee.

This is like a button up. And you could have worn a tux for me. The last time you wore a suit for the show, Jeff, you were sitting in a closet. So let's not go there, you know? show Jeff you were sitting in a closet so let's not let's not go there you know um it's it's great

to be back here it's good to have you back and a hundred episodes Matt congratulations no then thank you and it is like I don't want to treat it with too much gravity gravity because you know at the end of the day it's just a show gravitas but um this is one of the most special days of my life why they said we couldn't do it who they said i had a medically fascinating body who my doctor my gp all right did he also say the

thing about the podcast or those are two different people? Those are like the first one is basically everybody. The second one is specifically my GP. Okay. He said I have a fat ass and toothpick ankles. We know. Yes, but this is from a fucking MD. Fascinating. Got broken up by my therapist.

What does that mean? She said I wasn't making progress. That seems like it's on her, right? fascinating got broken up by my therapist why what does that mean she said I wasn't making progress that seems like it's on her right that shouldn't be a reason for her to dump you

yeah isn't that like it's good for her business you want to see someone who's not making progress damn Daniel

I this day it has too much weight on it emotionally for me because therapist-less doctor-less

wait the doctor who said you had a fat ass and toothpick legs well yeah how about you just go back to to somebody who like has his degree on the wall oh you went to Tufts

nice so you dropped them yeah that one I did fire my so you have to take some accountability for that one well I'm just saying now I have to find somebody else.

I'm taking accountability for sure in my actions, but emotionally, I'm wrecked. So if this show doesn't bring me back from the dead, emotionally speaking, then it was all for naught. Noted. Not just this record. The entire fucking thing. This escapade this this fucking oral poison joys in the sometimes but usually poison I mean what was it all for unless I'm

happy are you happy what's that are you currently it could go either way all right it's a teeter-totter where both people are the exact same amount of weight. Are you a Libra? No, I'm a Sagittarius. Are you a Libra? You're a Sag. Okay, nice. I'm a Libra. What's that?

I just said I'm a Libra. So you kind of get this balancing act. Like, I'm getting no empathy from Marika. I'm getting sympathy maybe from you, but it's bordering on pity. Just start the fucking show! A hundred episodes! Yeah. Right? The third time.

Yeah. Here's what we're gonna start it off with. Just something normal before we get into the festivities. Bond of the Week. This week my pick is well me. And then on to the

Beyonce song. Of course. You must not know about me. You must not know about me. I can wear a tux like nobody's business. I also know how to handle a gun. Baby, you must not know about me i can wear a tux like nobody's business i also know how to handle a gun baby you must not know about me you must not know about me i've had a ton of intercourse with women so don't you ever for a second don't look at me while you're singing i couldn't be James Bond that's not a real question yeah

I was gonna ask what's a tux is a different lapel right plus a cumberbund it's lined with silk yeah usually the pants have like a interesting stripe or like whatever that tuxedo yeah I bet you don't

comment on your co-workers outfits Yeah I'm not You literally opened the podcast by saying that he could dress up much nicer This is a disaster Casey This

What's that? Yeah Yeah This is a train wreck It didn't even start on the rails So you didn't go with You Must Not Know Jeffrey

Oh that's really good He also No with you must not know Jeffrey. Oh, that's really good. He also... That would have been better. Also, all you're saying was you must not know about me, you must not know about me, but you had it written down. You were reading it off prompt.

Like, yeah, you couldn't memorize the words, even though the words this time was the actual words for the song. Well, I forgot that I knew how to handle a gun. A handgun. Right. With a silencer. Yeah.

Like James. Right. What about Jeffrey James Bond? That's pretty good. I'm sure that's been brought up before. Really? Probably. That's a good ending to not only the Bond,

but also the You Must Not Know About, and then your James Bond of the Week runner that's been happening. It's the 100th episode. It feels like a time to reflect. Yeah. And that's the perfect segue because we've made it through. I'm not done talking. And so it seems like all of the Bonds that people have suggested over the course of the 100 episodes, it'd be nice to maybe go through the list of them.

Do you have that prepared? Do I have the list of the Bonds? it'd be nice to maybe go through the list of them. Do you have that prepared? Do I have the list of the... Everybody's Bond. I also just wanted to share my Bond of the Week because I had what I thought was a good idea, but you really just tried to move on. No, let's hear your Bond of the Week. I think

the new Bond should be Nick Weiger. Weiger. Doughboy. I think he'd do a great job I think it'd be fun to see him cavorting around the world doing spy stuff he has the self confidence for sure

yeah I think he could pull it off what he might lack in sartorial effort and aesthetic he makes up for by being able to suck his own dick, which I've always felt like 007 would have at least tried. You always said that. I'm always saying that. It kind of feels like only he can say that about himself, too, by the way. Like you just spreading that out.

He said it once on a podcast and now people know it, but I don't know if you have the green light to just say it. Spreading that out is interesting because I was also going to lob up what if he was the first James Bond to get pegged. Also, Jake is here. What the fuck? This is not prepared, so we

don't. Well, it was prepared. It was prepared. It was very hard to set up the idea that he can just join and then we can record it, that's a huge question mark, right? No, I think it'll be fine. Yeah? I think it'll be fine. Wait, so are you fully recording? Yeah.

Me? Yeah. Yeah. You said. You said you couldn't make it. This is crazy. And then he said before we started, I might make it for the second half. And we are in the second half because we were supposed to start recording at three.

I didn't see that because we were setting everything up, right? Should I leave? Do you want me to leave? No, stay. It's the first episode with five people. Are you having a leave? Honestly, I'll leave. He spilled a lot of champagne earlier.

He spent the first 10 minutes of the show. Yeah, the first five minutes of the podcast was Jeff licking up champagne from the table. Yeah. I was going to ask, what did I miss? This all sounds. That and Bond of the Week. Oh, great. I didn't get to do my Bond of the Week. Yeah, let's hear your Bond of the Week.

This is... It's nice. It's nice. Let's hear your Bond of the Week. I just watched Dunkirk again recently. And the little blonde boy from the boat in Dunkirk. Okay.

Was it Tom Glenn Carney? Maybe. Or maybe also the kid that eats shit on the boat. He could also work, but he's a little, he's more of a Bond villain. Yeah. And one little blonde kid. This is your show, Jeff. This is your day.

I'm just here to say congrats I have to figure out who this is because this show has served its purpose in bringing joy to everyone yeah I'm glad that I got to be here for the final episode this is awesome oh we haven't told

we haven't um we haven't talked to you told me before you told Jeff? Well, I wanted to sort of let everyone know, because we were going to do it right after this episode. I didn't realize. We're going to do it right after the episode. I don't want to say anything, but let's make this episode a good one.

Hear, hear. I agree. Totally. Let's just make this one a good one. Wow, that is the guy. Yes, Marika, that's correct. I love him. I love him. So do you agree with my bond yeah i think that's a good choice he's great he's great in the fairy he was great in the fairy man a play that i told amir to see and then he

didn't did i not if you take this show away from me take me away from you jeff has so many segments Jeff has so many segments and we haven't sniffed one yet we're talking about Dunkirk little blonde boys that ate shit and Jeff is sitting

here silently aren't you impressed at how fast I got that three word name from little blonde boy on the boat yeah

I'm just saying there's only one blonde boy in all of Dunkirk there's only one guy it could be it's like an actorla no it was really good it's fresh in my mind

because I saw it yesterday sorry Jeff I'm talking about Dunkirk you kill the show you kill me you kill the show you kill me that was

that's the that is the intention if you think there's any way I survive without the show. He's hurting me. Billy, do something. Give me the bottle. That's funny. No, let's continue, I guess, with whatever you guys were saying, and then we'll wrap it up.

No, we're done. All right, great. Kirk. Nice. We do actually have a lot to get to. This is perfect though. Do we even have time to talk about Formula One? Let's save it for the end because also

not everybody likes Formula One. We'll save it for the end. That could be our plugs kind of. Yeah. Okay we'll do that. Which means that we have to talk about the the past 100 episodes a retrospective of sorts what is your guys's favorite episode you've ever been on of the show and if you don't have one prepared the longer the silence goes on the more hurt the head gosgers the head gosgers were good the academy gum wards there was in midst in the midst

of the pandemic and everyone was really sad. You asked me to hop on your podcast, your video podcast, and I opened up my screen and Jeff was wearing a robe and he looked like the bad guy or good guy. I've never seen the movie from Despicable Me,

hunched over like Pac-Man and he was sweating in a closet. And I was like, for the first time in months, I'm happy. Someone is worse than me. Yeah. I think my favorite episode is the one where Amir sang the Amsby song.

Did you see the Amsby wordle that I sent? It sort of popped it into HQ, but nobody saw it. You spelled it incorrectly. Yeah. Yeah. It's a four letter word. Yeah. OMSB with an E at the end, because the E was sort of baked into it.

Well, yeah, you had to extend it. What was that song, Marika? Do you remember how it went? It was the, why are you not eating rice one. But I don't remember how it started. I'm sure you have it prepared, right? So you could click the button. It's in that great compilation that someone started making.

Yeah. Of all the songs. You don't actually have to search for it. It'll take a little bit, right? Because we have a bunch to... You said you had 20 for it. It'll take a little bit, right? Cause we have a bunch to, you said you had, you kill the show. You kill me,

right? Say my name, say my name. When no one is an arms be, say, baby, I'll eat rice. Why are you not eating rice?

I'm on Instagram. Baby, why are you not eating rice? You guys two voice cracks You gave up on the end Rice Say my rice Say my rice When no one is in Omsby

They will eat at Omsby You'll be eating rice Sort of predates your Omsby, table eat at Omsby, you'll be eating rice. Sort of predates your, you must not know about many. It's like the spiritual prequel to that. In a way, because I also couldn't get that song out of my head. I think they're both Beyonce songs, right? Mm-hmm.

One's Destiny's Child. Destiny's Child. Jake? Come here. There was one episode that I recorded with Jake in his office right where Jake

is sitting. It was me, Jake, your friend who's never been on the show before or since and you.

Do you remember that? And you said that was a good, why was that a good one to you? That was just a memorable podcast episode to me. Cause it seemed to have just come and gone, lost forever. Nobody thinks about that episode. Nobody references that episode, but it was special to me. Cause Jake and I were recording together in New York.

And that is the only time that happened. And it's exactly where Jake is sitting right now that's kind of it was kind of a unique episode that's meaningful who was that friend of yours what was his name again do you remember that you don't remember I don't remember who it was

it was like a TV writer on like Nickelodeon or something Jeff was clearly networking that week oh Marcos shout out Marcos I also like the one where you made us read scripts with Zach Dunn

and we were giving notes on it sometimes I don't know if I was on the episode or if I just listened I don't know if I was on the episode or if I just listened. Like, I don't know if I was on the script, Zach Dunn won. I think I was. You weren't. It was Johnny, Amir, and Zach.

Yeah, that's crazy. I just listened to it. But everyone's sense of humor is like so in line with mine that it feels like I was there and it happened. Mine is my... Oh, okay. I was going to say my favorite. I was going to talk about one of my favorite memories,

but that's fine. Yeah. We're going to cut this part. No, it's fine. No, that wasn't an interstitial. That was truly just like, let's keep it up. Let's keep the energy up of 100 episodes. It was bad.

It was a bad choice. It wasn't even an interstitial. You just kind of interrupted your own segment. It's energy. It wasn't. It was like the equivalent of a yawn just where you just like drop a big sound in the middle of someone else's there it is yeah uh it was i liked the uh the um the power hour the power hour that was a lot of fun to record was that the first in-person episode of like you know aside from the one that me and amir had like the first in oh no it's like the first in-person episode of like, you know, aside from the one that me and Amir had?

Like the first in, oh no, it was like the first in-person video episode, right? I think so. I think so. Amazing. My favorite is the audit, the entire series. And I'm glad we made up. That's awesome, wow what it's a fucking reference that was a lot of coffee we have to take a break we have to take a fucking break oh my god you do so much worse shit than that we'll talk guys taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple.

That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day. Like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe and their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands. I like to drink it

first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water. I'll have my AG1 and then I'll have my coffee and it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drink ag1.com slash what's that check it out and we're back all right episode 100 this is what i did all right i emailed all previous guests

on the show present company included and i was like we made it we made it to 100 episodes thank you all for being a part of it uh however big or small a way you have been. This was an idea I got from NoJoke, which you guys did for 200, which was just send in a congratulatory message or any message really being like wishing us well. Good luck on the next 100 episodes.

I thought we could listen to some messages that are pre-recorded from past guests. What do you guys think? Sounds like a great idea I made up. Cool. Love it. Yeah. All right. All right.

Let's start with Avital Ash. Oh. Nice. You did it. My lover. Somehow you got to 100 episodes and I can't think of anyone less deserving. Congratulations, I guess. This is bad.

So many more people deserve to have made it this far. You are not one of them. Why did you get to here? This is crazy. Is it even good? I don't think so. And you run it for some reason? And people listen to it, I guess, which is insane.

That's the craziest part of all. I think 100 is a good time to stop. I think you should probably stop now. This is Avital, by the way. All right. Happy 100th episode in retirement. Hopefully, fingers crossed. Not hopefully.

Hey, Amir. Yeah. Can you fire Jeffrey? Yeah, we felt bad before the 100th. But I think it's going to happen soon. Okay, good. It's about time. Oh, you're recording.

That was really beautiful. That was touching. No, it wasn't. I like the question, why did you get to here? Sort of an existential. She brought up some good points what good points i feel like that was that wasn't fair i took issue with one thing that she said because she said and you run it and i was like no he doesn't i feel like that's what you take

issue with i feel like maybe yeah i think it's mostly 24 by what would i even do kind of like yeah how many voice messages do you have I have 17 more but there's no way they're all that angry I guess let's keep it going with our in house video producer Casey Donahue hey Jeff it's Casey the HeadGum video producer just want to leave you a little

message for the 100th episode of the HeadGum podcast you didn't tell me you wanted to shoot in the studio this week. You've actually never told me when you want to shoot in the studio. And it's been driving me crazy. You know, this isn't a playground. This isn't Jeff's fun house. This is a professional studio. You can't just come and go whenever you please. We've got a schedule. We've got shows we got to shoot. And your show is literally the lowest priority of them all. You have no respect for me. You have no respect for Anya. You know, Anya and I spent months wiring the studio for sight and sound. And I'm willing to bet a hundred bucks that you're going to show up with your own Zoom

recorder because I guess we didn't do a good enough job for you. You're going to stick it right in the middle of the set and you're going to have the wires going all over the place. It's going to look like amateur hour as usual. And I'm going to be sick to my stomach when we upload another episode of the HeadGum podcast. Clearly, I can't trust you, so I'll be in the studio for the record. And that's honestly mostly just to make sure that you don't break any of the extremely expensive equipment that we have in there. You're an embarrassment to the company.

You're the bane of my existence. Jake and Amir only let you do this show because they feel bad for you. And I hope you quit. So, yeah, I just wanted to call and let you know that you have to tell me when you want to use the space okay I'm absolutely sick of this bullshit alright man that's it take care Amir take care

sounds like Jack was right that was a nice way to sign off take care it was pleasant in the 90 seconds before you want to start with a compliment end with a compliment he really did it well he made a lot of great points in the 90 seconds before. Well, you want to start with a compliment, end with a compliment. He really did it.

He did it well. He made a lot of great points, especially every... I was a little bit sick to my stomach as well when I had to upload the HeadGum podcast where all of the cords were unplugged and the Zoom was on the table. And I did complain to them, so that rang true

okay Jeff has five guests but we can go on to the next one we're all gonna be sitting in silence for the next half hour

he has a record number of guests and this whole episode is about to be audio cues 17 16 more 16 times

one to two minutes that's the next 35 minutes we've already recorded like 12 that puts us at 47 he's gonna say wax so that's another

8 minutes we're waxed out we're waxed we're waxed out max on wax all I said was send in a message

congratulating us on 100 episodes or whatever you wanna say you still got 17 that's pretty good to receive that much feedback is 17. That's pretty good. To receive that much feedback is nice.

Whether it's constructive or not. Yeah, I mean, God, if I sent out a mass email and got 17 responses, I'd feel pretty damn special. Definitely. Definitely. Thanks, guys. That makes me feel better. That makes me feel

a little bit more optimistic. Let's play the next one. Let's play the next one. You know what? I'm going to go with a close personal friend of mine. All right, I'm going to go with George Saba. He sent in a two-parter. It's got to be.

That is not what the podcast needs right now. Hey, Jeffrey, it's your friend George Saba. Congratulations on 100 episodes i don't really feel like being mean to you i'm actually quite proud that this show has made it this far so i have sourced a message from someone who could perhaps do equal damage um your ex-girlfriend ellen there's no way hi i'm ellen Ellen. I'm from Cleveland, Ohio. And I dated Jeffrey in high school when I was 15. Oh my God.

Now I live in New York and I'm a marketing coordinator and I have an amazing boyfriend. I met my boyfriend in college. He was a senior and I was a junior. So I made the first move and then we've been dating for like two years now i knew i loved my boyfriend honestly i think after our first date i had like a really big crush on him for the longest time and we had been friends so when we finally had like that first five minutes long it was gonna stick for a while first date he took we don't have to go through all of it probably let me know i think we get it used to like walk my dog at all the time we get

it um and he brought a picnic blanket and wine i can do a picnic like it's a good joke no one's saying it's not a good joke it's just that we we get it and he painted a picture of us and it was just i can paint like i could do my boyfriend now i don't know if you can paint genuinely by far the best boyfriend i've ever had i feel like no way awesome him it was all kind of like high school flings or like silly little more than that like serious moments kind of me just real connection you were young um so yeah i think i'm the happiest I've ever been. I think a really special thing about my boyfriend is how inquisitive and curious he is. What's the runtime on this track? There's another four minutes.

I'm curious. Honestly, getting into the longest conversations or debates just because he has the most open mind ever and is always exploring different avenues. And it's just ask me anything controversial really nice to talk to it's stupid but he actually has the cutest cheeks in the world they're like pinch my cheeks pinch my cheeks billy them and he they're fine they're more than fine jake do something i love i can barely even hear you over the the boyfriend story yeah I can barely even hear you over the boyfriend story.

Yeah. He's very like bold and confident. Hit stop. I'm begging you now. Hit stop. You're bold, but you're not confident. What's that? Marika's the only one still listening. When you say cheeks, you mean like face cheeks, right?

Yeah. Face. I realized this was an interview. I would also say my boyfriend's like one of the smartest people I've ever met my favorite memory with my boyfriend was probably when I recently moved to New York and when I was moving

from Ohio to New York he helped me move into my apartment and I was like alone for a week or two and he like stayed with me it was really just an empty apartment it has nothing to do with it I have issues with when you cut that off and he like stayed with me and like it was really just an empty apartment and he says nothing to do with it

I have issues with when you cut that off it was still really early I saw the timeline move we were at

that was halfway yeah 40% mark Ellen has spoken more than any of the guests of this podcast this is turning into a fucking

public stoning of me. Yeah. Right? What is this? Diet Smoke, where are you? What's that? Diet Smoke. It's basically Delta 8 THC gummies, so it's like that perfect medium high between THC and CBD. Next.

Alright, here we go. This is gonna be from Johnny Villa. Hey, Jeffrey. I wanted to record a message for the ad break. Next. All right, here we go. This is going to be from Johnny Villa. Hey, Jeffrey. I wanted to record a message for the 100th episode, but every time I tried something, it just didn't feel right, and I couldn't display my emotions to the fullest extent. I know it's coming. You deserve more than that.

So what I did was pay a voice actor to record exactly what I wanted to say. Take it away, Mr. Ben Kroger. Who? Do you believe that podcasts are great to expand the mind and teach us about other people wow you're an idiot welcome to the head gum podcast this is good we should run this never get back yeah honestly suck it other podcasts Yeah, 21. An immeasurable amount

of dead air. And it's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's a fart. I feel like it's not that much dead air. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's all Jeffrey James' fault.

It's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. Of course. Make it stop, man! It's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. Take him off.

Just take him off if it's that bad to you. Don't act like they're a staple to your head. I might contact Johnny to see if we can run that as an ad for the show

maybe on Spotify we should genuinely try we should genuinely try it that'd be so fun I'm down to put $50,000 behind airing that on the biggest

most important podcast of Jeffrey and his friends lives so they all sort of hear how bad he is on other shows maybe like armchair expert

or something yeah something that they definitely listen to you look shell shocked is everything okay me he is. Maybe like armchair expert or something. Yeah. You look shell shocked. Is everything okay? Everybody wanted to add conversation and Jeff is still maintaining this. I just had a crazy attack energy. This is not what was supposed to happen.

We were supposed to fucking make me feel happy. Well, maybe the next one will be really nice. What's that? Maybe the next one will be really nice. Okay, and speaking of nice, let's go with Shelby Wolstein, who just was on the nice episode. Hey, Jeff. Kind of an awkward call. I just got out of a therapy appointment, and I thought maybe I should give you a courtesy call.

I was talking to my therapist. She said, you know, I was making a lot of progress, and in the past month or so, she's really seen a pretty steep decline in me mentally and emotionally and in a lot of ways physically. And we were talking about it for a while. We were trying to get to the bottom of it, and ultimately what we came down to was I've guessed it on your pod

like three times in the past month or so. And we're thinking that might be a reason for my sort of distress emotionally. Emotional distress. Legally, that is what we are going to call it in the lawsuit. She's suing you. Again, this is a critical call. For emotional distress? You know.

You're getting served. I didn't want it to come to this, but we were talking and it's just like, I'm going to have to start going, you know, two a days with her. Two a day? A therapy? Just to start getting back on track. And if I'm going to afford that, I need to go through with this. It's been really awful knowing you. But I hope you lose in court.

That's not a but. That's the wrong conjunction. She's suing you for that. She's suing you, basically. There's no way the other ones are nice. The last two really hurt your feelings, it seems like. There's only 12 more, right? Yeah.

You look kind of crazed. Let's see what you brought to the table. Amir sent him a voice note. That's kind of nice, let's see what you brought to the table a mirror sent him a me that's kind of nice yeah a a i mean you know what i think of you it's not it's not high regard man yeah i don't know i've sort of said it all and yet i feel like i haven't said enough in a weird way you you're not it you're basically not the the right um person to do this podcast, but also probably anything else. Like, I can't imagine a task or responsibility where you'd be in the top three of what I'd consider even just like, not like exceeding expectations, but a competent, comfortable zone. Like, you're not...

To say you're not good at anything is sort of underselling how below average you are at literally anything. But... Congrats on doing it a hundred times. It's a mirror, obviously.

Thank you. That was nice thank you at least ended on a nice very much I really appreciate that I really appreciate that thank you I appreciate yeah you're welcome you know it's it's just kind of funny because like you know it's it's just kind of funny because like to work with such amazing comedians to me is like yeah it's a dream come true really on on a certain and it's in a certain shade uh and um so to hear you say something like that to me means yeah it means you know it is earth day it means the world love that also today's my half birthday. Wow. Today's my wife's birthday.

Wow. Happy birthday, Joe. There's a lot of things happening, but let's kind of focus on what's in the room. Yeah, totally. Oh, Andrew Pyle, all the way from Hudson Valley. Hey, Jeff, it's Pyle. Look, I keep getting alerts about your HeadGum email address.

Your mailbox is filling up. Went in there today. Oh, no. Look, you subscribe to a lot of crypto newsletters. I feel like maybe just read some of those or unsubscribe or something or delete them after you read them. But also, you got to respond to your doctor, man. They've been reaching out for months and it seems pretty serious. So give them a call or email.

I did. And they said that I had a fucking fat ass. So you have a degenerative mental illness, I think. Well, you know what? This isn't helping. You said that they just said you had a fat ass and thin legs. There's no way they would email you multiple times for that. I didn't know Pyle could do that, go into your email.

Did you know that? No, he has the back end. Yeah. He's our CTO. Billy, present company. What's up? What's up, Jeff? What's up, HeadGum podcast listeners?

This is Billy Scafuri. Just wanted to give you a peek behind the curtain real quick. Jeff has been emailing the previous guests of the HeadGum podcast for a while now with the specific intent to leave him a quote-unquote vitriolic message to him and presumably the show. To the rest. I'm going to read to you now the second email Jeff sent and note the extra excitement in receiving the vitriol.

Hey y'all! Wanted to ping this message. Ping. To see if we can get a couple more, more vitriolic messages for HeadGum Podcast's 100th episode by this Friday, April 22nd. Jeffrey James emailed previous guests of his podcast asking for insults with a deadline if you have some time to record a voice memo of libel that would be amazing cheers thanks Jeff thanks listeners of the

HeadGum podcast this is Billy Scafuri trying to provide as much Jeff truth as I can here's to many more pal congrats on 100 that was nice too Ferris cut that out Jeff Truth as I can. Here's to many more, pal. Congrats on 100. Oh, that was nice too. Yeah.

Ferris cut that out. Why? Because it lifts the veil. Dude. We know the veil. We absolutely get how the sausage is made. Speaking of Ferris. Jeff, Ferris here.

Ferris. 100 episodes. Right? Oh, wow. Wow. Right. is. 100 episodes. Right? Oh! Wow. Right. Or should I say... That's really good. 100 episodes.

He is in control. 100 weeks of a self-imposed imprisonment of my own doing. For the past two years, this show has been a cafeteria tray of poison, slid under my cell door every single week for me to swallow down, along with my pride, and help smuggle you onto listening platforms like a Trojan horse. Damn, Daniel. You think? That was easy. No, it wasn't easy.

I've listened to every second of every episode, all to become a known accomplice to this, for lack of a better term, weekly podcast. I'm blacklisted by the entertainment industry for this, and I deserve it. Irreversible damage has been done to good people, and I sat by and let it happen. Also, major key alert.

Turn down the gain on your mic so that this isn't the raw material I'm left to work with, you megaphone. And also, major key alert, Stockholm Syndrome is real. Love you, buddy. Happy 100th episode. Let's get it started. Wow. He should host this show.

That was pretty good. Yeah. I've never heard that hurled as an insult it's clever because you do often peek um thank you no i mean like you're too close to the microphone it's hard to record it let's hear from a friend of the show john george former intern good friend of mine hello head gum crew it is former head gum intern john george here to congratulate you guys on 100 episodes of the head gum podcast i mean how did you guys do it right seriously how are you a lot of work continuing to keep this podcast afloat a lot of work with a toxic awful man as your host jeffrey james this guy is terrible, awful. And I know you're in the room, Jeff. You're bad.

You're just bad in general. I'm not even going to call you a bad host. You're just a bad person. You're over there celebrating 100 episodes of this podcast. What a milestone, right? Well, guess what? Me and my therapist just celebrated a milestone too. 100 times I've had to go to therapy because of the times I've been on this podcast.

Common theme. And Jeff, don't act surprised over there. It's a bad ratio. Don't act like this is news to you because we've talked many times about this. Over messages, over coffee. We've talked many times about how I did not like being on the podcast, how you traumatized me. And guess what? You retained none of it.

You seem apologetic in the moment. You retained absolutely none of it. It has come down to this. This is what my therapist has recommended to me do. Come on this podcast. Tell you off in front of your coworkers. Tell you off in front of the listeners. And maybe it'll help my mental health, but maybe it'll also help yours.

Maybe it'll make you a better person. Even though I told my therapist there's no way that happens. I can literally not imagine a world where Jeff is a better person. Ever. Even a little bit better. I can literally not imagine a world where Jeff is a better person ever, even a little bit better. I can't imagine that. I can try. Anyways, congratulations to everyone at HeadGumButtJeff

for all the hard work on this podcast because I know they put a million times more work into it than Jeff with his silly sounds and his... That's all he does. That's all he does. He has a soundboard. That's it.

Congrats, man. I can go find a soundboard that's it congrats man i can go find a soundboard on the internet too i can find funny sounds on youtube man yikes wow good job congrats everybody but jeff of course i have to reiterate not you jeff no and yeah congratulations obviously to marika and um yeah wow yeah i appreciated it yeah do you remember the first episode, Marika? Was it like this or was it totally different?

I feel like we should. It was way more normal. It was like all of us just chatting. It was like a cocktail hour back then. Yeah. Interesting.

Who was on it? I mean, let's take a break. I can't handle another one. We actually can't chat because you've been playing voicemails for the last what feels like hour and a half.

Haven't chatted in 40 minutes, Jake. Let's chat. Haven't chatted in 40 minutes. That's what's chat. Haven't chatted in 40 minutes. That's what Billy was afraid of. We'll take a break. We have, I think, five more to get to, but we'll take a break. Okay. Five more?

Five more. It's, am I that bad? So we've heard two people. Do I deserve this? I feel like if we're going to talk about something, I don't want to talk about you personally. Let's talk about Formula One. So we've heard talk about you personally. Let's talk about Formula One. So we've heard two people. Let's talk about car racing.

This sucks. Two of the nine people have mentioned their therapists. If I set the line, the over-under, at two and a half people will mention their therapist. Would you bet the over or the under? So will one more person mention therapy? Probably over. Yeah, I probably over yeah I

think over I'll I'll fade the public go under no more therapy references going forward now we have something to sort of look forward to there you go right as we play the next

I guess that makes it interesting for you and Billy but what am I supposed to do well you can also bet yeah aside over two and a half I'm gonna keep on checking my email I can also bet. Yeah. Pick a side. Over two and a half. I'm going to keep on checking my email.

And that's okay. All right. This comes in from one of the HeadGum's newest hires. Very kind person. This is Kayla Moriarty. Let's see. Oh. Hey, Jeff.

I'm in therapy. Happy 100th episode. I'm so sorry I waited until the very last minute to get this to you. It's just that I don't respect you at all. She's very sweet, usually. Thank you so much for having me on the podcast. I've had a lot of fun, and I've never once walked away feeling completely sapped of my energy or robbed of my time. And, you know, your host's skills are really incredible.

I've never seen someone be able to bring together a random group of people so easily and so quickly united against you. It's a skill that not a lot of people have. She's really right. Like Elon Musk. So congrats on that. And, you know, I'm looking forward to being back on the show and spending more time with you begrudgingly. But, you know, I'm looking forward to being back on the show and spending more time with you begrudgingly.

But, you know, take care and all the best. I don't want to be like Elon Musk. Nah, no one should strive for that. He has a lot of fans, though. I thought that was nice. I had a compliment. Did have a compliment. Begrudging, she said.

Are there segments after this? I wonder. but the one segment is to listen to everybody's voice to listen to but not to be to be on that's uh sort of the whole thing i got an urgent invite jake because we thought that you might not make it and so about a half hour before i got a call from jeff saying can you hop in and i did wow so what i've done this is i've sat on this is is fully, it is completely my fault. I am so sorry. Oh, please.

I'm happy to be here, Jake. Let's do it. Sally Griffin, one of our more recent guests. She was kind enough to send one in. Hey, Jeffrey. I can't believe you made it to 100 episodes. I haven't the slightest idea why this show is still a thing, considering it makes no sense whatsoever.

I recently got into some trouble, and i can't disclose that on air but i am looking for some community service hours so if you could please give me a call that'd be great since obviously spending time with you is charity work um also congrats i guess good one best call i think that's the best call that was perfect perfect. Sally's a pro. That was brief. Jeff should have said, like, keep it 30 seconds or under. No joke. Did this 100 episodes ago. We did this exact same premise, but we told everyone, try and keep it brief.

15 seconds, 30 seconds. That's a good note. Because there's going to be a lot of responses. Yes, exactly. And what we also did was we seeded them out throughout the episode. Oh, that's good. So you could go back to your guests, talk a little bit. And then it was like a little AV.

That's really good. That's really good, actually. But Jeff said, I want to take that same idea and lump it. Yeah. I want to lump it. It's a lumpy, lumpy podcast a little bit. We're stuck in the lump. Let's face facts, guests.

We're stuck in the lump right now. It's like lumpy mashed potatoes or something. Those are good. I mean, you're still going to eat it. You're still going to have it. You just wish it was so smooth. And so let's see. Maybe it'll smooth itself out.

Jeff. You're a lump, man. Save us from the lump. He's lump. He's lump. You are a boiled potato. You're a boil. That's funny.

What an awful tough sentence. You suck. You are a boiled potato. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. It's all Jeffrey James' fault. You dudes gave Johnny some shine on that, but we need to give him some more. Johnny is so pro.

Yeah, he's really good. At everything he does, it's quality over quantity. For me, it's Johnny all day. All day. Johnny all day. I love Johnny. Jeff, no way. That's a lot of hard work.

I don't want to compare, because it's not fun to just compare people, because there is no comparison to Johnny. But let's compare them for a second. If Johnny hosted episodes 101 through 200 let's just imagine what those episodes might be and polished polished yeah good yeah i mean listen to what he did with that trailer yeah the trailer was incredible trailer was beautiful he put more time and effort into that one second more time and effort into that trailer than you have into 100 episodes. Jeff didn't even tie

his tie well for this show. That's true. You missed it when he spilled. He spilled a lot. I spilled Chandon. Johnny has a mature sense of humor too

where it's almost like you can sit back with a glass of wine and just kind of enjoy his natural swab. And Jeff is a boiled potato. He's a big potato. We're stuck in the lump.

He's a boil. We're stuck in the lump. Back in the lump. He's the lump. potato. He's a big potato. We're stuck in the lump. He's a boil. We're stuck in the lump. Back in the lump. He's the lump. Yeah. He's lump. He's not mashed at all. He's matzah.

He's matzah in summer. That's good. Have we said boiled potato? Spud is a good nickname. Spud is a good nickname. Spud Webb. Spud James. Spud.

Yeah. Is Spud in the office today? That's good. I know it would be like, where's Jeff here? Review, review. Posted by Spud James. Spud. Yeah. Is Spud in the office today? That's good. I know it would be like, is Jeff here? Review, review. Posted by Spud and Riley. What? Fuck you. Keep laughing.

Holy shit. Oh my god. Wow. Are you really leaving? There's three more. What if they're positive? And one more segment. Door slammed. What do you think this segment will be? What do you think the over-under is on Jeff returning?

Oh, great. 60 seconds? I would say. He's in the hall right now dying. Like he wants to be back on camera so bad. Because he wants to, yeah. He doesn't want to do it instantly. It has to be like a funny length of time. Yeah.

But we are out of time at the same time. Here's another question. Does he return with some sort of new at the same time here's another question does he return with some sort of new prop oh that's like this is going he had this design where he was going to get mad enough yeah that he was going to storm out and when he came back he's going to have a big surprise for us yeah i don't know if i call it a big surprise he's probably going to bring back something and it's not going to be super well thought out but i do think this was his intention does everyone feel like i'd have to be here for when he comes back?

Because I know I've only been here for what was supposed to be half the show. Yeah. But I have been sitting here for 45 minutes now. And I feel like that's the full, that's like the amount of time I've committed to this. Yeah. For you guys. Yeah. This started at three o'clock.

This is an hour and 20 minutes. Yeah. I kind of have to pee. I wonder if I should use this time now to go to the restroom. What if we all left? I feel like that's a bit of a power move. Oh, you stormed off? We can all storm off if you want. Oh, that's fine.

I do kind of want to understand what's going to happen once Amir... Oh, is he back? Oh, he's back. Damn. I was very into the everyone drinking a beer now. He's drinking a Gansit. This whole thing was sponsored fucking content

for making it a Gansit. Let's play the next one. Do we still have to take a break? No, there's no way. Six fucking years I've been working in some capacity with this company. Let's play the next clip. No, one second. All I've been working in some capacity with this company let's play the next clip no no

one second all I've been met with is fucking swimming upstream met wet met wet so I stuttered

because I'm angry let me tell you something about Narragansett by the way he was working on this monologue all night last night pacing in the mirror

I tweeted once yeah and they gave me a random beer sitter shit and guess what else they gave me they gave you cash monologue all night last night. Pacing in the mirror. I tweeted once. Yeah. And they gave me a Brandon Beersitter shit. And guess what else they gave me? They don't even give you cash. 60 beers. Five. 60 beers.

Three t-shirts. And constant social media interaction. My bad. Why are you explaining this? What's bad. Why are you explaining this? What's that? Why are you explaining this? 60 beers! That's five dozen beers.

I just see Jeff typing the invoice, taking out $5,000 at entering 60. 60 beers! Two racks against it. Sam pierced you? We pay you I bought for the fucking happy hour I paid for that

Stop chugging beer and play a clip This is from me where you are Stop chugging beer and play a clip Anyway this is Tom Hanks Jeff It is Mike The least requested guest on the show. Very honored to have been asked to send you a voice memo for your 100th episode.

Truly, thank you for the opportunity. Feel blessed. 100 episodes. What a ride, buddy. I think I was on. Instantly happy. episodes what a ride buddy i think i was on instantly i just i i just can't imagine what it would have been like if i had been able to guess all those times when you'd when you'd reach out a couple days before recording to ask if i wanted to do it and i'd say yeah when and then you'd not respond um or like when you'd slack me half an hour before recording and say

oh we had a guest cancel we need to fill a spot really quickly and i'd be like yeah yeah yeah okay happy to jump on the show and then you actually does not respond again yeah you're back in la now right uh i just i feel like that must be a real blessing for the New York crew just because they don't have to see all the empty eyedrop containers that you just leave around the recording studio. Specific, yeah, but true. I know now when I sit down at my workstation, I really miss being faced with your biocontaminated trash.

Anyway. I really don't know what to say. 100 episodes. I can't imagine this has been good for your career. My dog has more Instagram followers than you. I wish I was kidding, but she does. That's true. This is embarrassing for you.

It's embarrassing for me. I work at one of the most prestigious terrestrial radio programs and podcasts in the world. You're nothing, Jeff. You're nothing. I just need you to know this show means nothing. Really? At all.

This is the last thing. This is sort of tangential but like I stopped getting royalty checks for the theme song could you talk to Marty about that I tried to reach out on Slack to him but like I think he blocked me which I didn't know that was a thing

you could do anyway just stop doing the show it would probably be better for everybody okay thanks bye I didn't realize that Mike was getting loyalty checks for the theme song because I also played on the theme song so I feel like I

I didn't think he was I feel weird because I have been getting I've been cashing the checks for whatever both of your checks still go to the old office address and i'm able to just kind of i didn't that's okay that's not your fault i'm like i what's that i didn't eat this morning so to chug a beer you guys can keep talking i chug a beer like i feel bloated yeah chug another one chug another one jeff chug another beer chug another beer jeff i drove

to the office man dude just spend the day here another beer it's happy comedy beer dude it's 100 that's really cool you should chug 100 grab a couple gansets and chug them all keep it 100 you have 60 all right i this is crazy no therapy, by the way. No therapy so far. We have three more. Okay. Chug a beer for every voicemail. I'm just going to kind of be here on my phone, but you guys let me know whenever they're playing.

Is that even good to do? Yes. I feel like it's just funny for you in the studio. It's not going to be good for audio. Please don't. I won't do it. Here we go. Melanie Bracewell, all the way from down under australia hey jeff it's uh jeff bracewell here from new zealand um new zealand i'm just

leaving you this message because you know how you borrowed that like 50 for me a few weeks ago you were like i really really need this i'm super desperate. She makes so much money. Things are really tough for me. And you sort of sobbed a bit. So I gave it to you. But I'm going to need that back. Not because I need it, like I'm doing pretty well, but because I actually like to see you upset. So, yeah, like if you could just send that back whenever, that would be dope.

Thanks. That one was at least not rude to you. It was just asking for something. But it just feels weird because, like, I'm in a tough spot financially in terms of credit card debt. And she has, she makes a lot of money, so. Especially for New Zealand bucks. Yeah. So you just texted her can i i need 50

couldn't be someone who lives in a further time zone she feels like 4 a.m nobody else was up okay uh let's bring it home with two of my close personal friends riley and spawn and zach done oh there we go hi jeff it's riley Riley. Oh my God. A hundred episodes of the HeadGum podcast. I mean, congrats you guys. Like this is such an achievement and I am so thrilled for all of you. I mean, congratulations. Um, and if I could just share anything, Jeff, you know, I, you are one of my best friends in this world. I love you so much. Um, and I just want to give you the permission to just drop the mask. You don't need to try this hard. You try so, so hard. I mean, like in every area, it's like, you really are just like, you push to be seen as effervescent,

bubbly, happy, go lucky guy. And i just want to give you the permission to stop to slow down to just not force it you know you force everything so hard and just like just be you know you're enough and i know that you don't feel that way but honestly like at the end of the day you are enough so just stop just stop. Just stop. You're pushing so hard. And I actually think that pushing is pushing other people away because they can feel how fake it is and feel how sad you are inside. So just let that all go. Let that all go and stop trying so hard. Okay, bud?

Happy 100 episodes. Congrats, you guys. Much love. That one was trending towards therapy because it kind of like excuse me it's sort of it sort of boils everything down to like oh you have one problem and it's that you try too hard and otherwise you'd be good but i take issue because i think you're you know fully bad i think you're subpar i think i'm multi-faceted i think there's not one thing that's keeping you from achieving greatness i think there are many things you're starting with the opposite of a head start jake i think it's a good umbrella no i think that it's a note that

in all of his choices that he makes in life there's not one singular choice that is kind of like disrupting him in society. You think there's not a pattern? It's that every choice, I'm talking now, it's that every choice is amplified to such a sweaty degree that it's just overwhelming in every realm. So if he was able to just turn down, to Riley's point, his try-hardness, he might actually be much more palatable in society. But I think there's something fundamentally wrong with his brain that makes him do that. At this point, I want to get to the bottom of it because I'm starting to agree with you guys.

What would you change? We're so beyond that. I think, yeah, you can't change. I think all that can happen is that you can step out of the public sphere so no one else has to the public eye yeah but i thought the eyes have it it's being me let's listen to that last voicemail so all right here we go go home back done hey jeffrey uh this is zach dunn i just wanted to

admonish you on 100 episodes of the HeadGum podcast. Now, full disclosure, I do currently have COVID. I guess I sort of wanted to say that I think it is your fault. Now, if you look at sort of the rise of COVID, it's basically coincided with the rise of this podcast. No way. Interesting.

It's my opinion that if you stopped doing the podcast, probably COVID would stop in turn. And then maybe I wouldn't have gotten it. I guess it's too late now. Don't entertain me, I guess. So just something for you to stew on and think about a little bit as you consider ending this podcast for the good of humanity.

All right, thanks. A lot of people want me to stop doing the show, it seems like. No more therapy mentions, though. Yeah. All right. Although the one trending towards therapy Riley's you could argue that's.5 you could but the bet was

say the word therapy that was easy no that was actually painfully hard I think that's a wrap on

the big sugar sugar one zero zero. We did good. We did really good I think. That's a series wrap on the HeadGum podcast. Thank you for your effort. You still got Review Review

and you are still an ambusher. So that's two out of three bad, brother. Are you still an ambusher? I got an email from Narragansett during the show. Yeah, you're not supposed to chug them publicly like that. You thought Narragansett was a New York beer. You did.

I don't believe you know anything. Oh my god. This is not how I wanted this to go but you know what that's every episode so I've kind of resigned myself to this thank you guys for being on this I guess I mean I didn't I don't know if Billy did Bond of the Week what

after all this you want to know who Rene Jean Page or whatever? Who? The guy from Bridgerton. Regé-Jean Page. Regé-Jean. I thought there was another segment.

I mean, I'm chilling. There is. We've got a bottle of champagne. He needs to get out of here. Jake needs to surf again, probably. I would love to. We've got to go. It's going to be on next week's episode.

Well, no. You know what? It won't go anywhere because I guess the show's over. There's no grand finale. It's episode 100. The audience wants some sort of big splashy something nothing

can you tell us what the next segment was going to be you want to know what the next segment was supposed to be yeah uh I was going to try and dispense some wisdom oh yeah we don't need that should we go to plugs no let's

go i want to hear the wisdom i want to hear the wisdom jeff i want to hear the wisdom it's episode 100 we've all been mean to you people outside the studio has been mean to you jesus he's been mean to us this is a segment i like to call sun wives jake jake i'm sorry. So these are photos of sunrises. This is insane. With like brainy quote type things that I've sort of come up with to be wise. So not, sorry, not related to the feedback that you got at all. No. Okay.

I thought the feedback would be nice job, continue the great work. And so I was like, let me just do a segment I would have done either way. Read books written by and for children what's the next one that's the joke it's not a joke it's wisdom curiosity killed my cat she was interested in oncoming traffic that's pretty good oh sir it's a nice photo knowing about the new york yankees is the beginning of all wisdom that's's... Wisdom is spelled wrong, by the way. You know how some people know a bunch of niche baseball facts from the 1890s and you just kind of assume that they know about the rest of the world?

Who cares? Widsom. Thank you. Widsom. Travel over family. Sure. Any day. Okay.

All right. I disagree, but I can see why one would have this opinion. Me too. He who starts a company is the worst company. That one's pretty funny, to be honest. Speak one language ideally English stop

next frame next frame keep it moving you idiot any fool can sleep the point is to dream okay I'm still stuck

on that last frame keep it moving so much Shakespearean no this is it okay great any fool can sleep the point is to dream great

that's up here obviously how do you blur a house yeah That's Amir's house. Obviously, you can't keep this in. How do you blur a house? Yeah. I guess you have to blur the whole house. As if dropping this footage on the editor's desk wasn't enough. Now he has to blur a house for you.

There might have been a Zoom at one point. That doesn't help. That's Amir's home. That's a good length of a segment. That's a good length of a segment. That was the best segment. Yeah. All right.

Well, then I'm feeling a little bit better leaving this the way it is. I like the Widsom. Was that a joke or was that a... That was a joke. That was not a joke at all. No, it wasn't. That was because I wrote these very fast. Yeah, and that's every segment that you've ever planned.

You gotta do one of these a week, man. This sucks. I will say that it was funny. The typo was funny. You should put the sunglasses back on. Do it again, but should put the sunglasses back on. Do it again, but then put the sunglasses back on. No, honestly, genuinely, I know we were giving Jeff a hard time, but the typo was funny.

Why'd your voice change? All right. We made it through. I like the typo is all widzum he's kind of like a a smooth jazz guy now don't do that though

he was like Pino Palladino I guess you could say I'm the Lou Gehrig of knowing about Yankee facts nice

and then I'm gonna have a disease named after me. Yeah, he had a degenerative disease. So, I don't know. Something to think about. Thanks for 100 episodes. I hope we can continue doing it, but I guess we'll talk right after this. Oh yeah, stick around.

I wanted to. Another Yankee reference. Touch base. Yeah. I wanted to another Yankee reference touch base yeah all sorts of shit W slash R slash T your employment here

with regards to listen to listen to listen to XOXO Gossip Kings Senior Superlatives will have a video podcast when this comes out so subscribe to that channel

schools up for summer I think the nation's gonna have Neil deGrasse Tyson on this week so listen to that wow cause that's cool like science and stuff I think the nation's going to have Neil deGrasse Tyson on this week. So listen to that. Wow. Because that's cool. I feel like science and stuff. Yeah.

That's a good podcast. And hopefully Carlos Sainz's car gets fixed so that he can win the Grand Prix this weekend. Vamos. William? Yeah. Now I'm getting excited because we're close to the meeting, Jake. Yeah. I don't even know if I have to be there.

I feel like it's simple enough. And Buckets. Oh, yes. At Billy's Fury. Buckets. Me and Billy's basketball podcast. We're going to fucking hit the ground running. There's some really exciting basketball happening on right now.

So looking forward to talking about that. And if you do want me and Johnny to host the upcoming 100 episodes of the HeadGum podcast, just let us know on socials. Hashtag, maybe if we get something trending, like hashtag Billy and Johnny or something like that. That's pretty good. Hashtag Billy and Johnny. I guess it could kind of be like a dead and company thing where it's like Jerry Garcia

is dead, but it still lives on. And then his legacy is furthered because of it. So like, sure sure you guys host it but you sort of like further my legacy as well and I'll be gone cool

what That was a Hidgum Original.