The Headgum Podcast - 101: Relentless Ass Pics (w/ Cecily & Lucy!)

Episode Date: May 6, 2022

Comedians Cecily Breaux and Lucy Blehar join Geoff, in secret, to discuss keys, vacation ass pics, and the "perfect" apology! BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast��via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify. Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Jeff, can you put your mic closer to your mouth? Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before. Nobody ever will speak to me like that again. Because from now on I'll have amazing mic control. You're speaking over it. Am I actually? This oh my oh my gosh

yeah that's almost toppled an end table the rails are coming off great is there a song playing right now it's nice to just vibe Nice to just vibe this morning. Yeah. Lubricate your spine. Yeah. Episode 101. Wow.

Woohoo. We aren't supposed to be doing this. I don't have express written permission from the network. In fact, I was let go. Tragic. That's why I thought it'd be fun to just have cecily and lucy on my two good friends to try and build me back up and to do this under the table if you know anything about us that's what our vibe is is under the table yeah and you can use us for clout anytime yeah

um you guys are very funny LA based comedians Cecily some HeadGum fans might know you from Jeffrey the Dumbass and Review Review this is a very special day though because it's Lucy Bleas debuee it is my debuee

yeah do you guys want to plug your stuff up top so people can know where to find you absolutely Cecily take it away okay thrilled to plug always quick little butt plug you can catch me on Instagram and

TikTok at Cecily Bro B-R-E-A-U-X I know it's so funny that my last name is Bro and I have a Bro, B-R-E-A-U-X. I know it's so funny that my last name is Bro. And I have a, it's a show at The Friend called The Bro Show every Wednesday at 8 p.m. Jeffrey has been on it. He's so funny.

And what else do I do? Oh, we do a show called Titty Committee. And that's coming up June 2nd, both of our sisters' birthday. Wouldn't you know, Gemini season. Yeah, gorgeous coincidence. So come to that at El Cid at 8 p.m. And if you want to watch me on TV, you can watch The Dropout. Holy shit.

Where I mean to Amanda Seyfried. Seyfried. Sorker. Seyfried. Seyfried. And, uh... Lucy. Seyfried. Sorka. Seyfried. Seyfried. Seyfried. Lucy. My name is Lucy Blihar. I am an actor, writer, and comedian based in Los Angeles.

I'm 5'10 1⁄2". Good. I do Titty Committee with Cecily June 2nd. As you heard, I'm just going to repeat it for those of you who are not active listening. June 2nd. As you heard, I'm just going to repeat it for those of you who are not active listening. I also do social media at Lucy Blee, B-L-E-E on TikTok and Instagram. You're sort of bleeding up on TikTok. I'm bleeding out on TikTok. I'm bleeding out on TikTok. You can catch me on a bunch of different like web shows that I do with this production company

called pollution. One of them is conspiracy central where I relay misinformation on Facebook, um, video. And, um, you're an alt right talking head. I've been getting some proposals from like middle-aged men who are like,

I love what you're like. You're telling the truth about the one world government and you're so beautiful. And I'm like, this is simply a paycheck for me, but thank you. Lucy, line them up, take them out. I also want to say I'm also an actor and a writer and comedian. I'm sorry I didn't say what I do.

It sounded like, okay, don't cut that out. I just thought you should know. Are you guys going to bring back Sunday school? We've both been booked and blessed. God bless. It's just been a busy time. So that was your guys' Teddy Committee podcast, the version of the live show that they do at El Cid.

And I did an episode of that. That's one of the most fun podcasts I've ever guested on. We had a great time. Our last episode was with Kat Cohen before her special. She's wonderful. Jeffrey, we had so much fun with you we were all hung over for that episode so hung over oh yeah where were we the night before were we all together we were out the hollywood hills we were at a party in the hollywood hills right we were at that exclusive that totes exclusive party so exclusive but you can find those episodes on Spotify and iTunes. We have 15, 8.

There's a lovely backlog. Yes. But yeah, to answer your cue, we'll be coming back as soon as one of us gets famous enough for us to actually make money off of it. Exactly. Yeah, that's the key. That's the tea.

That's the tea. That's a major key alert. Don't do recorded radio unless it makes cash. Right. Because it's really yeah it's more work than you would expect it is actually more work than you'd expect but you know what let's start this show

let's get it started Monday May 2nd. We've got a lot to get to, actually. Segments galore. Let's start it off with everybody's Bond of the Week. Every week until the next James Bond is cast, we're lobbing up our picks for casting to sort of wax about.

Who could be the next 007? 007. 007. The next 007. I'm going to call it right now, Mr. Beans. Mr. Beans? Mr. Beans or Mr. Bean? Mr. Bean. But Mr. Beans? Or Mr. Bean? Mr. Bean.

But Mr. Beans is his cousin. Mr. Beans. Mr. Plural Beans. Yeah, so the same last name, but slightly different. That seems less likely. They're cousins, but cousins. Yeah, but it's through marriage. Okay.

Yeah, Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean. Someone with the last name Beans married into the Bean family? Yeah. There's the Beans and then there's the Bean. You're talking about, I think, the lowest probability in marriage history. IDK. I believe in love.

Sorry. Love is love. Love sees no last name. Yeah. My vote, I think, is going to have to be Harry Styles because we see him cracking into the movie franchise. Okay. I just sent the preview. The movie franchise.

What am I talking about? What's that? Don't worry. That preview I just sent you where he's with Florence. Oh, yeah. Don't worry, baby. He's gaslighting. Oh.

He's gaslighting. He could gaslight me any day. I mean. Yeah. He could run me over with a train. Harry. He could run me over with a train. Harry? He could run me over with the train that he is conducting.

Yeah, my vote's Harry Styles. I think Rowan Atkinson obviously could play a very convincing Mr. Bond. Mr. Bond? I think he could be a good Bond villain. I think Lucy specifically could be a good Bond villain. Oh yeah,. Lucy specifically could be a good Bond villain.

Oh, yeah. Good villain. You have the look, you have the layer, and you have the layers. More? The layers. Yeah. I would love, okay, actually, let's talk about this for a second. It's my dream to just, like, only play villains.

Yeah, of course. Well, yeah, you are one. I do feel like you're the- I'm Scorpio Rising. Yeah, Scorpio Rising. I feel like you're Cecily's like evil twin. Wow. And as you know, Cecily's a Gryffindor.

I'm a Slytherin. Of course. What about you, Jeff? I'm a Hufflepuff. I think you're a Slytherin. I think so too. I think you're a Hufflepuff, but you do some shady shit. I think, okay, if you are the Hufflepuff, you're the Hufflepuff that like bullied Harry

and was like, we hate you. Remember when the Hufflepuffs came for him? I think you're Filch, the groundskeeper. Filch! This is not how I wanted the show to go. You're Filch's cat that gets like stuck on the wall. Oh yeah, like Mrs. Wiggins, what's her name? You're starting it off with a lot of drama right off the bat.

Mrs. Wiggins. Mrs. Oh my God, what was her name? You're starting it off with a lot of drama right off the bat. Mrs. Wiggins. Mrs. Oh my God, what was her name? Mrs. Norris. Norris. Yes. You know, sometimes I feel bad when I have my real friends on this show because I'm such a dick on this show. But you just said I'd be, what is it?

The groundskeeper, Mr. Filch? Yeah, Mr. Filch. So it's no holds barred now. Here we go. All right, let's go. My Bond of the Week is john f lungren he's the ceo of quick set nope don't know what that is it's the key company you don't know about quick set no the key company no like keys for doors you must not know about keys you must not

know about keys they're better than keyless entry doors. Keys have the power to solve all wars. Baby, you must not know about keys. You must not know about keys. You can get them cut at any Home Depot. So don't you ever for a second get to thinking they're irreplaceable. Wow. Is that your sponsor? What's that wow is that your sponsor?

what's that? is that your sponsor for the day? I wish quick set? quick set I think John F. could be a good bond John F. Kennedy? do you want to see this guy?

John F. Lundgren can you show us? I've already chosen to forget your suggestion John F. Lundgren my thing with Harry Styles is that he's too recognizable. You need somebody who nobody knows like John F. Lundgren.

Look at the sparkly background for him. Yeah. This is him being like, I think I should try something different this year. Honestly, he has a genuine smile. I think this is an actually happy guy. Oh. His eyes are saying not a lot. That's all I'm gonna say.

The eyes aren't giving me a lot of... But it would be good for a villain! Yeah, those... No. Well, no, he's gonna be James. He's gonna be the Bond. Yeah. Oh. Okay, that's bold casting on your part, but let's give him a chance. Let's give the kid a shot. I think casting would like to have a conversation about John

Affleck. Sure. Bring me to the table happy. I want to see more unknown faces. Yeah. TV. Get that man a chance. Give this white man a chance. That's what I've been saying on all my web shows is like, where are the men?

Where are they? Give that white man a chance. Give him a chance. He's been through enough. I just realized that my microphone wasn't uh connected you haven't been hearing any of these sound effects no that's why we've been wondering why you were dancing to nothing but we weren't going and i mean did any of us say anything not a word you didn't hear so you didn't hear the intro song you didn't hear uh any of the

major key alerts i I love that song. I mean, I knew the reference, but didn't hear it playing, no. That's deeply uncomfortable for me. It is. Well, you should know how held you are that Lucy and I both, like, had your back. We were like, let him silently dance. We were like, yeah, okay, he's doing his little dance. Let him do it.

Well, you know what? Let's get into some news of the day. So President Obama last week has called for more scrutiny of tech giants. All right? He's quoted as saying tech companies need to be more transparent about how they operate. All right? This is at a speech. What did you say?

I said okay. Oh. Let me finish. This is at a speech at Stanford University. And he said so much of the conversation around disinformation is focused on what people post. The bigger issue is what content these platforms promote let's talk about it um what do you guys think about what's that i was just saying an agreeable oh okay let me finish um Oh, I'm scared. What do you think tech companies' roles are with regards to free speech, hate speech, and far-right disinformation?

Let's start with Lucy. Whoa. Okay. This is where things get a little bit muggy, as we would say in Pittsburgh. That means humid. That means swampy. That means a little bit confusinggy, as we would say in Pittsburgh. That means humid. That means swampy. That means a little bit confusing. You're disoriented. Because if you think about free speech, it's like, yeah, anyone can say any old thing. But then when we're talking about misinformation, look, that's what got Trump elected. Same thing with hate speech. It's like,

technically, yeah, that's free speech, but do we allow it so are you asking me should tech companies play a role in censorship of hate speech and alt-right misinformation yeah yes but then we're getting into like the amendments my thing however yeah i do think that the amendments are called amendments because they're amendable and why are we still referring to the constitution in today's age like when people are like the constitution says okay heard the sound effect that time

thought I was shot always think I'm being shot I mean okay here's my one argument against the In fact, that time. Thought I was shot. I always think I'm being shot. I mean, okay, here's my one argument against the, I mean, not my one argument against the Constitution. Because everything else is like sound. Sure. But, okay, the right to bear arms, when that was written, everyone had like muskets. They didn't have like Glocks and AK-47s. Yeah.

So like we should amend it as the times they are a change in. Yeah, that's really good. So that was my very Libra approach to saying like, I don't know. My thing is that hate speech isn't free speech because there's a price to pay. Yep. That yep was locked and loaded no matter what I said.

Yep. Call her out. um anyway cecily thoughts on this i think let's be honest um people are weak and they're just they're like they're not calling it like oh sorry sorry hold for sound okay you're good sorry my hair got swept all the way back I lost it I'm bald now and then Lucy

you come in with the G.I. Jane joke yeah here we go oh god which is i think that's free speech okay that's free speech here's my thought here's what i'm gonna say here's the thing we all know that hate speech should not be allowed like the whole nuance of like oh the amendments all that like let's be honest we know what is good and what is bad what is bad is hate speech so just fucking call it out and say no more and easy done but the thing is is that people want to make money so they're like oh well you know we

got to bring up the constitution and everyone's like free speech and all that and it's like at the end of the day we all know that these people are evil and bad and are saying bad things that are causing harm got trump elected is like straight up, like just propaganda. Like how everyone's like, how did World War Two happen? This is how it happened. Like, so fucking be. Yeah, that's how I feel. I'm like, I mean, everyone, we can talk about it all day, but at the end of the day, we

know it's evil and bad and it should be stopped but they're not going to do it because they're like oh they have people who are using their platforms who are you know investing in it so that's what's going to happen these were very real answers that I agree with everything both of you guys just said if Amir was here

which thank god he isn't because again I don't even know if this episode is going to go live because I was fired last week he wouldn't have let you, I don't even know if this episode is going to go live because I was fired last week. Sure. He wouldn't have let you guys treat that with any gravity. So I'm really enjoying this. Let's move on to something a little more lighthearted, but not unrelated.

Dating in L.A. Yeah, almost in L.A., man. Let's talk about dating in L.A. You guys on the apps? Are you guys on Field? Field. Okay, we did learn about this through Georgia's set. So Field is the kink app. I was the friend that got him on that app.

You were the friend. Are you on Field? I was on Field. What's your kink? I'm not going to say. I was trying to get you to tell me. Quick, what's your kink? You can only have one. Quick, what's your oneink? I like saying that you can only have one.

Quick, what's your one kink? His kink is playing loud sound effects over women's voices. Yeah, it's silencing women. I love silencing women. With airplane sound effects. I'll go up beside it. Anyway, you guys never were on field? You guys are both dating people, right?

Yes. Yeah, I'm casually friends with my boyfriend it's whatever what's that nothing no I love him we're together um yeah we but see me and my boyfriend met on hinge which he was like let's not tell people we met on hinge but I was like what were we supposed to do I thought you met on fringe

uh fringe um what's fringe it's like it's the app that's meant to be deleted to do. I thought you met on Thringe. Thringe. What's Thringe? It's like, it's the app that's meant to be deleted for couples. Thringe. I meant to say throuples. You met on Hinge. I didn't know that. I love both of your boyfriends, but specifically

Max. You love Max. Sorry. Lucy, here's the thing. Anytime we go out, Jeff goes, but specifically Max. Hey, Max. Sorry. Lucy, here's the thing. Anytime we go out, anytime we go out, Jeff goes, Hey,

where's Max? Right away. Not even no question of like, how are you doing? Good to see you right away. Couldn't get it out quick enough. So what's your beef with Eli? Why don't you love Eli? I just don't know him that well.

But you love Max. Neither do I. He's elusive. No, I thought, neither do I. He's like serving some Lucius Malfoy energy.

Oh yeah. You know, but then sometimes he's super goofy. Oh, he's such a goof. He's a, he's a,

such a sweetheart, but he is like the Mr. Darcy of our lives. Yeah. Shrouded in mystery. Sure. Me and Mr. Bingley over here. Fucking. Yeah, you are with Mr. Darcy of our lives. Yeah. Shrouded in mystery. Sure. Me and Mr. Bingley

over here. Yeah, you are with Mr. Bingley. I think Jeff is kind of a Mr. Bingley too or maybe a Mr. Wickham. Oh, you're Mr. Wickham that's like,

marry me. No, I don't want to be Mr. Wickham. Remember when her friend's like, no, it's cool. He has a house. He's a homeowner. He's a homeowner.

I'm 27. I'm'm 27 i'm basically dead no prospects mr wakeham you know kira could sing no really where where could we listen to her sing yeah she was in well begin again never seen that? Do you mean atonement? Atonement. Atonement. Atonement. Let's not forget young Sarsha Ronan in that movie. Sarsha Ronan? Yes, my kink was my kink is the library scene from that movie.

You're not quite sure if they're, I can't remember. I mean, let's be honest, I can't remember, but it wasn't clear to me if she was entered or not in the library. She was entered. She was entered. There's penetration for sure. Dating in L.A. Let's do this.

Have you guys ever had your version of the library seen from Atonement? And also, what are the spots? Yes, I have. What are the spots? I have as well although i've never seen atonement but i know what you're talking about yeah i actual library usc library fight on forever oh my god that's the stacks not even like the fancy library no i went of course well there's people everywhere in the fancy library you have to go down ground down ground

down ground mound down mound, ground, down. Mound down sounds like a horrible, like, you know, Roll Tide-style sports slogan for a college that, yep. Don't ruin this for us. Mound down is when you're. Daddy chill. Daddy chill. Lucy, your response to Pablo Pascal uh viral video made me laugh out loud

i mean if any man were to just casually be like i'm your daddy i would just be like i would have an epileptic seizure but like did you did you read that video like my response as a good response as a positive response, as a positive response? Yeah. Okay, good. Because I think some people were like, yeah, he's disgusting. But I was like, no, no, this is me absolutely giving my soul over to him. You were floored. You were pelvic floored.

I was pelvic floored. Major key alert. Find what brings you honestly sexual joy and follow the path. That's all we have these days. Follow the yellow bricked up road. Hey. That's what they say. Wish more thief. How's dating in LA been for you, Jeff?

Dating in LA, it's served me well. It's, it's, what's that? Nothing. His wistful gaze. Your immediate regret why did I ask just like yeah I am getting pussy yeah

I don't know what else to say I spread four things joy, truth libel and legs oh god I'm glad you were fired this is no longer a safe place. This is not a safe place

for you anymore. You know what? Let's take a break because I can already feel the energy shifting. I want to kind of bring us back. Let's thank some sponsors. We'll be right back. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions.

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and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com. What's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com. What's that? Check it out. And we're back um listen i think we have all three of us i think i've done things worthy of an apology right sure yeah i'm apologizing all the time um but sometimes i feel like it gets lost what an apology is actually supposed to be. Sure. I recently saw this article on fatherly.com. Grailed.

Fuck. How to apologize. The six steps of the perfect apology. So what I thought we could do is we could all talk about something that we feel like we, in the near future, need to apologize for. And then craft on air the perfect apology according to fatherly.com i love that this picture is from pinterest just a woman crying a crying woman she's hurt she's been hurt by her husband love means never having to say you're sorry is there any more worthless platitude? Oh. I want to write for fatherly.com. How did we get to fatherly?

I didn't even have to pay me. Parenting, play, love and money, gear, health and science. Those are the categories. Gear. Gear. Wait, how about the article to the side that says, My husband is a good man, but at home he acts like a clueless intern. Oh, no.

Divorce him. I truly fear that I'm going to become dumber as I become a dad. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. That's what happens. Yeah, because, like, all of your life force energy goes into, like, growing these little kids. My liquefied brain is leaking out of my nipples. Chaos!

Chaos! I love this publication um here we go okay step one is expression of regret step two is explanation of what went wrong okay step two is explanation of what went wrong three is acknowledgement of responsibility. Four, declaration of repentance. Five, offer of repair. Six, request for forgiveness. So, let's start with you. What's something you feel like you need to apologize for in the next, let's say, two weeks?

I really want to genuinely apologize for interrupting you, Jeffrey, on this podcast. No, and I appreciate that. So let's go. Sure. Yeah, I want to express. And again, I just did it just now. So I want to express my deep regret for interrupting you. This is your platform.

You deserve to be heard, seen, and understood. And it was selfish of me to step over your words just because I could not contain my hysteria and my emotions. Hysteria. keep my shit in check. I'm probably going to get my period soon. So that also is something that went wrong. And I apologize for that. And I acknowledge my responsibility in remaining quiet the next time you have something to say until you're fully finished with your thought. And I promise to not speak again until spoken to or invited to speak. And I'd like to declare my repentance. I will say 10 Hail Marys and two Our Fathers. And I offer to pay for your next five car repair bills. That's my offer of repair.

And at this time, I would love to humbly request your forgiveness for interrupting you. It will never happen again. I'm truly, deeply sorry. No, and I appreciate it. I mean, I think everything that just said was good. Um, I think it was fair and I, uh, and it didn't make me feel deeply uncomfortable. Yeah. Um, Cecily. Um,

I would like to express regret for all the ass pictures i'll be posting when i go to palm springs this week you're always in palm springs i'm sorry to say i'm i'm sorry um for posting too much of me and a new bathing suit I got, which goes right up the crack. There's no hiding the cheeks. They can't be contained. And so that's what went wrong is I thought the bathing suit could handle it. The bathing suit cannot handle it. I don't think this is a good idea, but I feel like you should plug your Instagram now again.

And my Instagram is at Cecily bro. If you want to see what went wrong because it went wrong it went wrong I posted too many pictures of my porn star level ass and I take responsibility for what my ass does to people I take responsibility for how I

what's the craziest thing you've seen your ass do to somebody well of course it immediately went to when I was too young and there was an older teacher that said something he should not have said. So let's go somewhere fun.

Let's go somewhere fun. Let's go somewhere fun and light. Well, Wildest, like someone said something or like Wildest, like someone did like what? I like to like Wildest in something like it caused a ruckus, let's say. It caused a ruckus. Your tuch it caused a ruckus, let's say. It caused a ruckus. Your tuchus caused a ruckus. I could quickly volunteer something that I witnessed when her tuchus caused a ruckus. We have an eyewitness and the eyes have it.

Let's hear it. This was on my 27th birthday. We were at a cabin. I was dating someone at the time and Cecily walked up the stairs in her bikini and I saw my boyfriend's face melt off of his skull. And he let out an exasperated sigh and he was like, Oh, he was like, Cecily's body. And I was like, you're my boyfriend. I was fucked up. I honestly was furious for that. Cause I was like, this is it. I'll get in the hot tub. And of course we all got in the hot tub and remember what happened that hot tub, Lucy,

we put peppermint oils in the hot tub and all of our skin burn. Don't recommend it. Don't, you know, don't put, don't put essential oils in a hot tub. Okay. So I, I take responsibility for what my ass does to people and my declaration of repentance. I mean, I will, I'll hide the cheeks. I'll do what I need to, to make everyone else comfortable because as it's my responsibility to hide my body, um, you know, they, they don't know what they're doing when they see it. They should. Anyway, it's my fault. Um, my offer of repair. Um, I, I offer to, I don't know if y'all just saw the movie with the gal from normal people. know if y'all just saw the movie with the gal from normal people it's like off-brand raw that movie where she's like dating a cannibal anyway i in that movie she gets her ass cut off and carterized and he eats it so that's i guess that's the only thing i can do is to offer my ass and carterize my

bottom um and my request i request everyone's forgiveness um please please it would really help me to be forgiven so so far we've silenced women and shamed them for what they wear yeah well that's your platform yeah no i mean you have the american flag behind you no this is a this is a quilt yeah i'm seeing'm seeing that. Yeah, from like colonial, like colonizing America. Yeah, like Betsy Ross. Betsy Ross's original flag is behind you. Like you bought that quilt at Cracker Barrel, right? Yeah.

No. This is the first time I've been genuinely challenged on this show, and I'm not going to have it. Okay. You knew who you invited. You knew. Do you have to cauterize your ass or can you corduroys your ass what okay basically the same thing no um i feel like i need to um apologize

for just i went to new york for a couple months just being gone for so long i know that what's that i said yeah you should apologize you should apologize for that i feel like people i don't know i just there's like i feel like i came back to a wreck you know emotional physical i just la's changed and you know the first time i saw y'all, I could see there was a shadow behind your eyes because the glint was gone. And so I want to express regret for exploring another city. I want to explain that I didn't mean for it to be

a personal affront, really, of any of my friends, including you guys um i want to acknowledge that it was my responsibility for doing a housing swap uh for me to explore brooklyn after seven years in la i mean i'm i'm sorry i repent by uh expressing this deep, deep sorrow. How do I repair it? We got to hang out. I think we should be drunch at DeBuena Planta. I just went there.

Okay, then we'll wait a couple weeks. I want to go. Until you're craving DeBuena. Until I'm craving like a thick mole at 11 a.m. I always am. Always am. Every day. And I request your forgiveness. Okay, so you're requesting our forgiveness for you having wanderlust and traveling and

staying in New York for a couple, four months. Well, when you put it like that, it sounds awesome. I'm sorry that you gave us the pleasure of meeting Annika. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You guys hung out. I love her. And I'm sorry that you ever came back.

Yeah, we're sorry you came back. Yeah, me too. Full steam ahead um um we have another segment to get to um do you guys know jeopardy yeah yeah um well have you ever played This is Jeopardy! This is Jeopardy! This is Jeopardy! Mother's Day edition. It's the same rules as Jeopardy! with the twist.

The twist is that it's for actual cash. So every number you see on this board is money that you can make. That I will genuinely Venmo you on this, on the company card, until the fat lady sings. That was the wrong turn of phrase to do. Yes. No, but on this episode, especially here we go.

The categories are mom's tennis partner, Glenn things to do on mother's day. Milfs, which I'm regretting brunch, anyone and mother earth's sex appeal. Oh, great. How do we buzz in?

Just say, well. Buzz! Isn't Jeopardy where it's like you control the board, you do it, and then if you can't answer it, it goes to the other person? Yes. Yes, but someone has to buzz first, I think. Okay. Well, let's start with Lucy because Cecily just asked that question. Okay, but I buzzed.

I literally made a buzz sound. But no questions were asked yet. No questions. This is a bad story. Oh, right. Oh, I have to be like, oh, I'll take Mother Earth's sex appeal for 300. You control the board. You control the board.

Okay. Okay, I'll take Mother Earth's sex appeal for 300, please. Mother Earth's sex appeal for 300. Mother Earth's Adonis belt. Who is Orion? That's going to be incorrect. Fuck. Bro?

The equator. The equator. The equator. The answer we were looking for was what is india oh because it kind of goes oh it's cut it doesn't make any sense that was stupid okay i thought cecily controls the board okay um i will take milfs for 300 milfs for 300 a tony nominated actor known best for annie and sister act uh new pants please oh okay okay hold on hold on

best known for Annie and Sister Act has not been turned into a musical right can I ask a question or no

no is it a musical no yeah is it it was turned into a stage musical I think

but it didn't but we're talking Sister Act the movie okay okay well isn't there supposed to be a countdown

oh my god Lucy I also don't know but I'm gonna go with who is Bernadette Peters. I mean, I want to give it to you, but the answer we're looking for is who is Lois DeBonse. Oh, my God. What? I was like, Carol Burnett is in Sister Act, maybe?

It is Jeopardy. Lucy controls the board. Okay. Let's go with Brunch Anyone for 200, please. Brunch Anyone for 200. Clams on the half shell with breadcrumbs and bacon. Is this a dish I'm supposed to be naming? Yes!

What is... Clams on the half shell with breadcrumbs and bacon. What is... Mommy's surprise. Actually, you know what? I'm going to give you that one. What? Clams casino. Oh my God. Did you know that,'m gonna give you that one what? Clams Casino

oh my god did you know that says? of course not of course not wow you just gave it to me let's do let's do Mom's Tennis Partner Glenn for 100 please Mom's Tennis Partner Glenn

for 100 when dad is away on business actually I think you guys partner Glenn for her 100 when dad is away on business. Actually, I think you guys, I think you can buzz in how just say buzz buzz. Yes. Cecily Glenn and mommy will play.

I'll give you that one. Thank you. When does Glenn usually come over? Oh, good, good, good. Cecily controls the board. Okay.

I'm going to go with Milfs for 200. Milfs for 200. George Costanza's mom. A hot dog. Buzz. Yes, Cecily. The woman who also voiced the potato head in Toy Story. Correct.

Who is Estelle Harris? Thank you. Nice. didn't know the name controls the board okay i'll take brunch for 300 brunch anyone for 300 a cupcake who hasn't gotten dressed yet buzz buzz lucy a muffin correct yes uh what is a muffin? Lucy controls the board. Mother Earth sex appeal for 200, please. Mother Earth sex appeal for 200. The kinkiest border in the world. Buzz.

Yes. The border between the United States and Mexico. Boy. Ceci Mexico? Boy. Cecily? Boy. The kinkiest border in the world. Okay. I'm thinking...

You're looking for what is Barl. What is Barl? It's between the Netherlands and Belgium, I think. Why is it kinky? There's a city on the border where there's like spots that are Belgian and spots that are, what is, Netherlandian? See, I was thinking you were like talking about like mountains and stuff. Like, okay, I'm here. I'm here for it. Don't ever do that to me again

Never allowed Alright Cecily controls the board Okay I'll take Mom's tennis partner Glenn for 300 Mom's tennis partner Glenn for 300 No Buzz Okay Buzz

Glenn and mom running away together Yes. Okay, Buzz. Glenn and mom running away together. Buzz. Lucy. Is dad ever going to come home after this? We were looking for does dad like Glenn? Lucy controls the board. Let's do things to do on Mother's Day for 300 please

shoving your feet into tiny shoes to achieve pediatric profession buzz binding foot binding correct nice Cecily controls the board I know all about that because my mom made me do it

no never let's do things to do on Mother's Day 200 the best way to get some vitamin D buzz Mother's Day sex I'll give you that we were looking for

what is sunning your asshole nice alright Cecily. Let's do MILFs for 100. A beloved comedian slash actor known best for Golden Girls, I copy and pasted this,

and the Mary Tyler Moore show. Auga. Buzz? Lucy. Who is Betty fucking White? Correct! Yes. You're in control mom sent his partner glenn for 200 please you're being strategic because you're trying to pull ahead i gotta go ahead i think he's cooler than my dad and i tell him that sometimes buzz yeah what is son fuck buzz

yeah who is mom's tennis partner Glenn you're looking for what do you think of Glenn okay we're asking the kid okay I see okay okay I see sure it is jeopardy Cecily you control the board.

Let's do Things to Do on Mother's Day 100. An ancient ritual involving purposely getting stung by bees. Ooh. Buzz. Yes. What is the romantic scene in season two of Bridgerton? I'll give you that one. We're looking for what is epitetherapy.

Whoa. Epitetherapy. Whoa. Epitetherapy. Lucy. Brunch anyone for 100, please. Eggs Benedict with the addition of steamed spinach. Oh. Ooh. Buzz.

Buzz. Lucy. Healthy Eggs Benedict. Cecily, what were you going to say? buzz buzz healthy eggs benedict cecily what were you gonna say we've never done this but let me just cross okay uh green eggs and ham i'm gonna give it to lucy

uh it's what is eggs florentine oh fuck i knew that oh is that real yeah oh my god it's a it's a tie breaker it's an absolute tie. This is for $900. Wow. Cecily, should we split it no matter what happens? No matter what happens, yes.

It's your cash to do with what you please. Okay. Including sending it back to me because I can't afford to give you that. The most vaginal part of the world. Oh. Okay. Buzz?

That wasn't supposed to... I wasn't supposed to say correct. Yes. The most vaginal part... The Panama Canal. That's good, though. Buzz. Yes. What is Dolphin Cove? What is that? that's good though buzz yes

what is dolphin cove what is that well as a documentary but it's also like you know there's a cove it's wet it's like inside of a little eyelet and then there's all those slippery dolphins are swimming in there splash around

I'll give you that I mean I was looking for Grand Canyon but Dolphin Cove is way more sexual the Grand Canyon's dry and it's pretty like nationalism of you you're bringing nationalism to this right like America what's your Venmo this is

so fucked it's at Lucy Blee L-U-C-Y B-L-E-E and that's for all the listeners out there too you can Venmo's at Lucy Blee, L-U-C-Y, B-L-E-E. And that's for all the listeners out there too. You can Venmo me at Lucy Blee, L-U-C-Y, B-L-E-E. Cecily Heff's coming your way. Thank you so much, Lucy. My Venmo is at Cecily, C-E-C-I-L-Y dash bro, B-R-E-A-U-X. And you can also Venmo me anytime. I promise you I'll pay it forward. Wait, you're joking, Jeffrey. What? He actually just Venmo me $900.

No, Jeff. Oh. Cecily, we just made bank. You're kidding, Jeffrey. Jeff, it's a joke. This is a joke. I'll send it back. My Venmo balance is so high right now.

Stacks on stacks on racks stacks on racks on stacks stacks on racks on stacks this was Jeopardy hell yeah Jeff this picture I can't tell if this is a joke or not

do I need to send this back I really can't afford to give you that money but I I'm good I'm a man of my word I thought you said it was on the company card well it's technically not an expense I think it is

we'll follow up after this podcast to see what the real truth is but I'm keeping it until we're done recording yeah it's kept but thank you Jeff our sweet one plugs what do you guys have going on what do you want to point the people to the floor is yours let's start with Cecily

okay well you can come to my weekly show I think it might be bi-weekly because mama's booking some stuff, which is exciting. Holy shit. Hey, commercial. If you want to watch me in a bank commercial, it's coming sometime after I finish shooting this week. Capital One? Okay.

No. Well, no. It's, I don't even know what it is. God bless. They're putting me up. It's Fifth Thirds Bank. It's Fifth Thirds Bank. It's Fifth Thirds Bank. Thank you.

Thank you. If you want to just follow me at Cecily Bro and on TikTok at Cecily Bro, come to my show. It's at The Friend at 8 p.m. I like to book comedians. Have a great time. Come to Lucy and I's show, Titty Committee, June 2nd. June 2nd. We're going to drop some links for the tickets soon. We have a great time come to Lucy and I's show Titty Committee June 2nd June 2nd we're gonna drop some links

for the tickets soon we have a gorgeous lineup it's a surprise we won't leak it sure is we sure is and yeah if you wanna see me on TV

you can watch me on the dropout and there's a movie called Destroyer where you see me get killed so you can watch that too oh and Luce Luce and I have

a big night of sketches that we're producing, writing, and starring in. It's May 24th. Where's that? It's at the Complex. Oh my God. Us with Mary Ryan and Ashley Williams have produced it. We have Anisha Jaganathan in there.

We have Amon Giddy. We have some great people in. And it's us acting writing and we've produced it so i'm so excited for that those are all very funny people we're very come on down 7 p.m on tuesday the 24th lucy please plug plug girl oh my plug um follow me at lucy blee l-u-c-y b-l-e-e on tiktok and instagram um also follow oversharing.tv i have a mini web series that i'll be pitching to um freaking streaming soon that uh you should follow along for very exciting also you can see me in an upcoming intel commercial where I am a woman doing business on a windy rooftop deck. What else?

She's a business woman. She's a business woman. I'm a business woman. I know that I look like when I act like when I carry myself that way. I think I think that's it. Yeah. Come to Titty Committee and yeah, social media. Also Venmo me at Lucy Blee.

That'd be great. Thanks. Thanks. also Venmo me at Lucy Blee that would be great thanks and you can follow me on Twitter at JeffBoyRD on Twitter or on Instagram at Jeffrey James I want to end off on this let's both of you guys say one word as a reason say one word

that justifies this show continuing on or at the very least this episode being uploaded because they they changed my email login so i can't even upload it okay us part That was a Hidgum Original.