The Headgum Podcast - 11: The Headgummy Awards (w/ Billy Scafuri!)

Episode Date: July 31, 2020

Emmy-winning Headgum podcaster Billy Scafuri joins Amir, Marika, and Geoff for the first annual Headgummy Awards.Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. All right, welcome to a new episode of the HeadGum Podcast with none other than Marika Brownlee. Hi. Also, we have Amir Blumenfeld and Billy Scafuri of the No Joke Podcast and TV writing fame. What have you? Emmy nominated? What's that? Emmy nominated?

Who are you talking about? Billy, I think. Billy, are you nominated for an Emmy? You're an Emmy winner. Jeffrey,ffrey i've won a couple one two i've won a couple yeah a couple or two more than two yeah no i've won two yeah don't say nominated if you won nominated it's like what you reserve for people who haven't won any and he was nominated and then he won right you're saying it uh we're on a zoom you're saying it begrudgingly your face is saying this is begrudging well because i haven't won, which I don't think is that fair. Do you deserve one?

Were you up against Billy or something? I was up and coming. You've been nominated. I've never been nominated. You weren't up against it. No, it's not that I lost out to Billy. I want Billy to have an Emmy. I want me to have an Emmy.

Amir, I'd be remiss if you didn't get an award. Marika already has, what, a podcast-y? No. That's not a thing also. Thisika already has, what, a podcast-y? No. That's not a thing also. This is already not how I wanted this to go. Billy, what have you been working on recently? We'd like to do plugs up top. I know you have an exciting project that's coming out

slash just came out. Yeah, it's done now. It's not even on the air anymore. It's game on. It's on CBS. We had eight episodes, and they've aired. So thanks for bringing it up. Yeah wish people could have uh heard this plug maybe a few weeks ago you know drive a few more viewers but i did write on that and it was a great time for sure for sure the

problem is available streaming there yeah you can go to cbs all access but we were really hoping to drive viewers um during its run on cbs prim. This, this podcast doesn't have a lot of listeners, but they all own a Nielsen box. So like we probably have access to the equivalent of 8 million viewers. I wouldn't say it. I wouldn't say it stings, but I've listened to enough of this podcast to know that Jeffrey sometimes has ill intent in his choices.

No, it's not that I have ill intent. It's that I'm ill advised. So I have kind of a board of advisors that are comprised of people who steer me wrong. Did they tell you to wear that robe? Yeah, they said that this would make me look approachable. Yeah, for anyone who can't see this podcast, imagine the lower half from the neck down

of frosty the snowman and the head of jeffrey yeah you're puffed wrapped he's swaddled he's swaddled and hunched he's swaddled in a robe you look like the hunchback of notre dame in a robe at a spa so i look french that's high praise no are you cold you seem i have a cold and i I'm praying to God it's only a head cold because there's obviously yeah influenza that's no that's not the worst one that it could be yeah that's one Marika you're smiling are you having a good time barely uh Billy uh huge fan of the no joke podcast which is why why we also wanted to have you on. You are two-time Emmy winning, in a way.

Yes. How has your life changed before and after the Emmy wins? I now am introduced on podcasts as Emmy winning writer Billy Scafuri. Before that, it was just, you know, you might know him from, you know, his podcast. But nothing really has changed. So, you know, I hear you him from, you know, his podcast, but nothing really has changed. So, you know, I hear you saying I want one. I need one. But, you know, it's not it's not life changing.

You'll be OK one way or the other. OK, disagree. What do you how do you think your life would change if you got an Emmy? Respect from my dad. Ideally, I would get on the list of notable people from my high school um because right now it's just a lot of on wikipedia yeah on wikipedia or just in print somewhere um a lot of golfers a lot of uh yeah who's the most famous high school alum and that's sort of an open question to everyone because i really don't care about jeff's. Ever. I want to know, Jeff, is being on the notable list of alums from your high school actually your goal? Because that feels somehow more attainable than an Emmy.

No, I don't care about that. It just sounded good to say, and I thought it would impress Billy. It's a good fury, not from the live stream we did two months ago, Amir. Right. So who's the most famous high school alumni i think jack stratton he he's the band leader of wolf pack no no come on well i mean you don't you have something in your high school like they put some photo of you in the halls i remember you told that story on one of the episodes of If I Were You that I was on. There's a picture of class photos but not just me photo, no.

There's like, this is every ninth grader that year or something. I was in a yearbook. But yeah, I don't know if that was a sound effect or, okay, he's taking off. He's taking off his robe. Welcome to the first annual Head Gummy Awards

featuring Marika Brownlee and then there'll be sort of an applause swell. Amir's left. This is the fastest he's ever left. Amir Blumenfeld. Folks he's wearing a tux. Billy Scafuri. He's wearing a tux. And your host, Amir Blumenfeld. What? What an ambush. You're wearing a tux. You surprised me with a theme song.

You're saying, I'm hosting this. What is this? An award show for what? The Head Gummy Awards. The awards. The podcast. The only podcast awards. Sorry, fuck. I thought i would be able to do this off the dome the only podcast awards with um where only head gum podcasts can win okay okay stop the music yeah can you clarify

what's an example of a category i guess we'll get right into it. I am here to force my hand here again. Welcome to the first annual Head Gummy Awards. I was going to say nominations, but I've been sort of castrated. And is this why you brought up the Emmys earlier? It was kind of like this is why we needed you on the show. We needed someone who has been to the Emmys, has won the Emmys, and can sort of advise me where I've gone right. I have to. I'm happy to do all of those things.

I have to interrupt. I was brought on this podcast 45 minutes ago. I got a text from Amir saying, will you do the HeadGum show 45 minutes ago? You are now telling me that you have rented a tuxedo. You have produced a award ceremony in 45 minutes. You've reversed engineered this out of me coming what if he said no what if he said no i would have done something different wow dude put the robe back on i want you to be hot no way yeah be despicable jeff i want you to be as uncomfortable right yeah

i want you to be i want you to be as uncomfortable as i am looking at you. The first Head Gummy Awards. All right, Jeff, I'll play. The nominees for Outstanding Comedy Podcast are Hollywood Handbook, Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, Urgent Care with Mitra Juhari and Joel Kim Booster, Black Men Can't Jump in Hollywood, and Review Review. Okay, I see what's happening.

So this is sad in a way. Hollywood and review review. Okay. I see what's happening. So this is only you can win it seems. Jeff said that this is a show or this is an award show only for HeadGum Podcast. The only HeadGum Podcast can win. That is the premise, yeah. What Jeff has done is he's nominated some other really good podcasts in a category with his own show. Therefore, only Jeff can win because all of those are not HeadGum podcasts.

Mirror the envelope. I don't have one. Of course we don't have one. And the winner is... Review Review! I mean, right off the bat, this is a really upsetting award show. Like, imagine at the Emmys

someone came up to explain why shows were nominated and why one of them was winning and on and 80 of the candidates were disqualified before the envelope was opened and they turned the lights off and on when someone was talking the music was his hand on the lamp jeff has one hand on the lamp and one hand on the microphone for no one's benefit so now let's just consider just kind of imagine that we're in the backstage Jeff has his hand on the lamp. Jeff has one hand on the lamp and one hand on the microphone. For no one's benefit. So now let's just consider, just kind of imagine that we're in the backstage portion of press conference in a way. And obviously I just won.

Honestly, the gold. Because Outstanding Comedy Podcast. Who are we? Who are we in this hypothetical? Press. Billy, your variety. Marika, your deadline. Amir, you're just kind of like somebody's cousin who got a ticket somehow.

Somebody's cousin got a ticket somehow. Why would they be in the press room? Thank you so much. It's only been about 30 weeks of this show, but I put my heart and soul into this shit. So to get the recognition that I deserve, but have also earned in a way, is

validating, and I'm salivating no further questions some questions are good though some question cousin somebody's cousin what's the um deadline deadline any questions uh billy at variety feels like he covered most of uh what he wanted out of that section uh marika deadline also feels like there's nothing to ask. He's salivating. That's enough for us. Man with ticket? Yeah, what's the next category? Let's speed through this.

The nominees for Outstanding Podcaster in a Comedy Podcast are Jeffrey James, Review Review. Jeffrey James, The HeadGum Podcast. Jake Hurwitz, If I Were You. Billy Scafuri, Buckets. And bleep. So, I mean, again, we have to cut part of this. Yeah, bleep that last one.

Well, because it hasn't been released yet, but it's been recorded, and I've heard a lot of it, and it's pretty good. Yeah, you can record it. We just can't announce it yet. So bleep it. Continue. Jake wins. Next category.

No, that's not who won yeah i i mean let's we should at least hear the category's announcement i mean the envelope i don't have an envelope the winner is billy skifuri for buckets wow yeah wow that was sort of an upset because i thought that jeffrey james is gonna get it for the head gun podcast first and foremost i want to thank uh amir blumenfeld he came up with the Wow. That was sort of an upset because I thought that Jeffrey James is going to get it for the Hedgen podcast. First and foremost, I want to thank Amir Blumenfeld. He came up with the podcast about a year and a half ago. He's a great collaborator, a great friend. I really appreciate the fact that he has made me the official host of the podcast, despite him doing 95 percent of the work. I received this award with great honor great care and i look forward to talking

to variety and deadline backstage thank you very much good night now we go into the lifetime achievement awards so no no press conference for billy just for you lifetime achievement award with regards to ad sales for review review goes to everyone at head gum other than marty michael the lifetime achievement award with regards to self-editing, sort of knowing where to shut your trap and how to get the best out of someone. Jeffrey James, the HeadGum podcast. Level it. I can barely hear you.

What's that? You might want to level it. I can barely hear you. How are you playing that audio? Are you just holding a speaker up to the microphone or something? Outstanding posthumous podcast release award goes to amir blumenfeld for if i were you episode 449 because we can only assume that you'll be dead by then no way that's so soon that's so soon that's like in two weeks i'm not gonna be dead you can never be too sure next category jeff

You can never be too sure. Next category, Jeff. The award for outstanding rejected HeadGum podcast ideas. The nominees are Jeff on Porn. Jeffrey James talks about what porn he sort of jacked it to that week. If I were Drew, every week host Jeffrey James imagines what his life would be like if he were NBA role player Drew Gooden, hair and all. Why won't you rate me? Jeffrey James makes his guests uncomfortable, begging

them to rate him on a scale of 1 to 10. Each week, Jeff will be brought to tears even if they say he's a 10. Fuck it's. Oh shit. Here we go. Fuck it's. Instead of talking basketball, host Jeffrey James just short of gives up on the review

this show every week untitled Ryan Gall podcast it doesn't matter the premise Gall will make a show that caters to all sorry what was the category the category is outstanding rejected podcast so none of these made it to air but they all all they're going to win a hand gummy. This sounds like an episode of Fuck It's. Correct! The winner is Fuck It's. Yeah. So that was the best idea that was rejected. People in the audience at the Emmys don't like

vote for which thing is going to happen and then the announcer doesn't say correct about it. That concludes the first annual Head Gummy Awards. Thank you so much to jeffrey james and billy this is a corksicle canteen it's an unopened water bottle we appreciate you guys uh tune in next february for the the head gosgers head gosgers what a fucking hard word to say.

Goscars. So, Billy, I'd be remiss if we let this episode go by without giving you the floor in a way with no structure involved. This segment is called Tales from the Vault. That's what every guest wants to hear. This segment is called Tales from the Vault. Why don't you just share your favorite HeadGum memory? Just any old, just a memory. Just an old story. A whisper in the wind, yeah.

Okay. No sort of direction here. You're not really going to kind of guide this. You really want me to kind of just do a lot of the heavy lifting. Clever, a good listen. Okay. Again, I was asked to do this 40 times ago um no a favorite memory from a head gum live show a head gum party uh a fantasy draft um record uh a record of your show of a show you've guessed it on what have you um let's go with at the fourth anniversary party at headgum studios um

let's i think it was the third as a matter of fact we were all i'm having good time big party there's good 50 60 people there a lifetime ago and it was dinner time and the dinner didn't show up and so the the executive branch of headgum said let's order 25 pizzas they seeded out that um directive to uh the people who would get that done two people took that directive and both ordered 25 pizzas and then there was 50 pizzas in a room of 50 people and it was one of the most fun sites i've had since moving how many how many pizzas did you leave with that day i ate half and took the other two and a half yeah i have a memory of you like walking off with boxes of pizzas it felt like gluttonous but also responsible yeah someone had to do it there was going to be a good

35 boxes there if i didn't take the two and a half yeah did you eat did you eat three pizzas over the next like few days do you have to freeze any? Did you have to throw them any away? No, no freezing. We took care of business. Oh, really? Did you go for the Domino's leftovers or the much superior other pizza leftovers? I took much superior for the exact reason you called it much superior. That's the one that I ordered. Marty and Marissa ordered. I don't remember.

But it was good pizza. I took the advice of, I think, Megan Batoon or someone. I ordered the Lucifer. Marty ordered the Domino's. You and I, yeah. We were the tag team good pizza. Marty and Marissa ordered the bad Domino's. But they didn't tell anybody.

It was just so funny to see pizza men coming from every direction. There was just pizza men everywhere. Like a moth drawn to a flame truly it was pizza pizza galore that's actually really good that actually wins sorry hang on

he's looking for the audio I think the new winner of outstanding rejected podcast idea goes to pizza galore with Billy Scafuri honestly not what I expected the category to be podcast idea goes to pizza galore with Billy Scafuri. Honestly, not what I expected the category to be. What was the category? The category was rejected pizza ideas.

Rejected podcast ideas. You know how IP stands for ideas of pizza? Intellectual property. No. Intellectual what? I was trying to cut you off with the actual answer so that you wouldn't say something dumb stands for intellectual property so is the award show still happening yeah because that segment was over and then you sort of brought it back after the story it seems like he didn't

put his robe back on which i think is a clue i gotta go kind of post award show uh do we think they'll be after party the vanity fair party yeah Do we think there's pit stains because of the robe? So you kind of got to roll up the sleeves in this way. Part of me feels like he bought a new shirt for this bit. It looks very crisp. It's not a new shirt, but I did get it pressed. It looks like there's a number of similar shirts hanging up next to him, so it kind of feels like maybe he had a bunch of different costume options uh that he was trying out can we see the armpits to see if there's a pit stain is he

changing the bow tie yeah there's a pit stain yeah of course he's in a closet yeah he's in a closet in a tux do you have a tail from the vault oh god God. I don't know. I mean, Billy's memory is very good. That could be our memory if it's easier. Yeah, I like that.

I felt like I contributed to it. Real disappointment on Jeffrey's face. I'm the one who has to edit these, Billy. I mean,

I make gold out of iron. Excuse me? Isn't that how gold is made? It's sort of putting an iron in the fire. You're the one who makes it.

Or. Or what? Or. O-R-E. Or, or. Amir, Tales from the Vault? Pizza Story is pretty good. Hard to beat the Pizza Story.

Tales from the Vault doesn't mean everybody hops on Billy's story and makes it their own. It means you bring something different to the table. Yes, yes, yes. It could kind of be a group story. It could be a group story. We were all there. We were all there. It's absolutely unbelievable. We've been going for, what, 30 minutes? 20 minutes? This segment was supposed to take 10. It felt like half an hour.

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with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. Have we talked about our Airbnb for Jake's wedding on this podcast? I talked about it on Review Review, but I didn't talk about it on this show. You should tell your story from it because you got there before I did. Yeah. Jeff and I stayed at a haunted house for Jake's wedding because that was the Airbnb that Jeff booked for us in Hudson, New York. Wow.

Yeah, it was me, Whitney and Marissa in an Uber to Newburgh. an uber to newberg and the driver was like um be careful when you get out of the car because on this side of the street uh it's safe but this side of the street is really dangerous also newberg's like one of the most dangerous cities in the country yeah and so we got out and got to this like old looking house we walked in it smelled musty and bad uh and genuinely like there was a doll form in marissa's bedroom there's a room with i think just hats in it there was like a creepy upstairs attic that we definitely weren't supposed to go into and i didn't go up there because i was too scared the upstairs attic had black walls all black everything and then a red clawfoot bathtub with no water supply so absolutely satanic rituals went on up there

the backyard was like overgrown is that a laugh or did you have something to add i saw the levels go up yeah i chuckled at the end okay i just wanted to make sure that you're getting your time focus on other shit don't worry about when i chuckle just have that slide off your back don't worry about it you're making me feel like on the spot and uncomfortable carry on you derailed the conversation but we had a good time though right i think like i don't know we we arrived at the house and then had to get ready for jake's rehearsal dinner and you still hadn't arrived uh so we like the three of us left to go to this like farm place. And I just remember,

my one distinct memory is you walking down this long driveway of farm coming towards us and immediately being like, I am so sorry. Oh, about the Airbnb. Yeah, because it was bad. Because I got all these texts when I was still on the flight. And so as soon as I land, it's like, Jeff, where did you find this Airbnb?

It's in the most dangerous place in the Hudson Valley. You also flew into Newark for some reason. So your commute from Newark to like Hudson was way too long. I don't know why. You were very late. I didn't know that. All the Newark airports, I just figure, are fine. Also, isn't Newark closer to Hudson?

I mean, didn't you take a cab directly from New Jersey to upstate New York? I did take an Uber. I took an Uber I did because I would have to Uber to the city and then get on the train, which made no sense. I would have had to go to Grand Central from Newark, which is no further than another New York airport, I feel like. Billy, you're a native New Yorker. Am I wrong? You are.

I would not take your approach, but everyone's different. I'm not going to do interstate Ubers to rush to a haunted house. That's just not really. How much was that Uber? It was like $90, yeah. No more than that. I thought it was $78. I actually went higher. That feels feels untrue I have no idea how am I supposed to remember two years ago I was wearing so you think these are pit stains yeah you should

have seen what I saw there I was waltzing into the wedding like it was my wedding I had faux fur on for the entire weekend they were white to the ceremony yeah dress you wore a white dress to jake's wedding you caused the rainstorm yeah i hired jeff yeah um do you want to hear a joke i just came up with i do you're the emmy nominated writer that's one couple um okay here is how it goes um where do you rent what website do you rent a haunted house from oh i think i know the answer i bet you do jeff come on marika you think you got it i think i got it so jeff's the only one and he's the one i asked yeah this could be a while what are the chances that marika has a different answer he has a different answer than you sorry what did you say verb ghost it's like verbo okay Okay. Verb ghost is one. Is it Jeff's guess?

I have a second guess. Marika, what was yours? Okay. What was your guess? Mine was scare B&B. That's pretty good. It's really good. Mine was air boo and boo. Marika wins.

Marika wins. That's a fun game. That was a fun game. That was good. You can keep that game if you want. It's fun to have fun on this podcast. It is fun to have fun. We haven't done that yet.

We should try that once. What about VRBOO? Like boo. Oh, that's yeah. VRBOO. That would have been better. Yeah. We're just trying to fill in that 10 minute gap that you probably have on your schedule

for us catching up. This has been an absolute disaster. The train went off the rails from the very beginning ever since no ever since Billy challenged me on the Emmy thing

it just there's been this like tension and I think everybody can feel it no way I thought this has been very fun

yeah one of the most yeah this has been fun a tight structured episode if anything the more good the episode the worse it is to you

I think because you're bad and the worse the episode the more you love it so the fact that you dislike this episode means it was a good episode he's searching for support then so close to his camera you'd think that when it's not dark he'd be preparing something

step into my office step into my office is that a pig sound? step into my office. Is that a pig sound? Step into our office. It's like a Transylvanian thing. Why were there like snorting? I didn't get a chance to find that sound effect intro before the show started because I was so busy renting the tux.

Step into our office is a new conversation enders segment. And they're rapid fire. Ready? No more than one minute each. Okay. You haven't explained anything. Yeah, what do you mean? Yeah, we're ready to hear what you're talking about.

But we're not ready to do anything because you haven't said anything yet. You said this is a rapid fire conversation enders one minute each. Fine. Five minutes each. Fine. Five minutes. I'm impressed that you retained that in here. Even that was complicated. Step into our office. It's basically letting, it's conversation enders or starters.

Sorry. Now you got me saying it. It's conversation starters based on life at HeadGum or vice versa. All right. So the first question is who do you, and Billy, feel free to chime in. I know you don't work out of the office or for the company necessarily. Who do you think the hottest person at the office is? Can't answer that. This is not, this is an illegal question to even ask.

Let's go for the next one. You can't ask them to rank employees at our company. Let's just say Johnny then. Let's not say anything. I don't even know if I've met Johnny. No, he's an intern. I mean, amongst the whole staff and maybe podcasters, who's sort of not pulling their weight? I feel like this is not.

This is not like a time to air company grievances. Ask questions about like pop culture, celebrities, people we don't personally know. Yeah. You're talking about like, yeah. You're talking us to rank about people at the office, not only their work ethic, but their like physical appearance. This is so fucked up. You're going to hate this next one. These are real fucked up. You're going to hate this next one. These are real people outside.

You're going to hate this next one. You should remember that these are real people outside of the office. All right, so this is for podcasters and staff members alike. What's a bonding and or bondage activity that you guys would like to see at next year's HeadGum Live podcast festival? That's a lot of layers to that question. Thank you. The bonding or what? Bonding and or bondage.

So like some BDSM kind of thing. Yeah. Maybe like a happy hour, like a pizza party or something like that not the bondage one the bonding yeah it'd be fun to like explore a city together um as a group like have a group outing like that but again just the bonding part for sure yeah i didn't get to um go to the chicago shows last year so i'm kind of disappointed that there might not be um live shows for a while um but bonding is great and that's probably what i would support the most out of that question were there any snubs amongst the head gummy nominations slash winners that you guys would like to air um i mean I feel like there's a

solid amount of shows that are on the network that weren't nominated, which is kind of upsetting, considering it was a word show specifically for the network. We were nominated four times. We'll have two shows.

Nicole Byer was nominated once. Who? Nicole Byer. nominated once who? Nicole Byer Riley, I think Riley is a really dynamic performer and just a breath of fresh air Billy won for Buckets and I was nominated for Buckets I agree, Amir deserved a nomination also you nominated everyone at the company

for ad sales for Review Review except for Marty but not everyone at the company does ad sales which I think is kind of a mistake on your part you gave a story that i told um about pizza um a an award after the award show was over willy nilly um so i would probably just have an award show and then turn the award show off um that was just pretty i haven't spoken to willy n in years. Who? William Niller. I did swimming with him in high school, so he did a lot of the relays. What's he up to now? Huh?

What's he up to now? You must have heard the second one. He's like a consultant or whatever. Or whatever. Yeah, or whatever is right. All right right i'm here did you do your homework did you do what i asked you to last week you didn't ask me to do it i asked you to do to come up with a segment because i'm always the one coming up with this shit we don't sell ads on this this literally is a it's a sunk cost for me this whole show i like billy's um the pun ideas like what do you call uh here's another one what do you call um like a

short-term apartment rentals but for cows short-term part therapy air um could be moo feels like there's a moo in there somewhere Hmm. Short term part. Air B. Air. Could be moo. Feels like there's a moo in there somewhere. Marika, you got anything here? I was on like sublet, sub moo, mover. Dairy B and B. Close, but not quite.

It's pretty good though, Jeff. Yeah. Thank you. A rarely spoken sentence on this podcast. Ferris cut that out. I got spoken sentence on this podcast. Ferris, cut that out. I got nothing, AP. All right. It's air, bean, beef.

Nice. Fun. That's like renting a steak. Another good example of a fun game. Yeah. Jeffrey, you're mad because it went well, or you're pissed off because my idea was better than anything you have done in like 10 episodes?

I mean, I disagree that it's better than anything i've done in 10 episodes i feel like the uh the nicholas sparks minigame was pretty cherry what does that mean nicholas or a child or no what is what is cherry cherry oh like good like um clean kind of sour um maraschino. You know what I mean? So it's not like a combination of two words like chine? No. You don't roll your eyes at me. That's a valid question for a word that comes out of your mouth. Alright, here's a real conversation. This one's not an ender.

A is a two-parter. A, have you picked up a new hobby in quarantine? And B, if yes or no, what is it or what would you want it to be? I mean, I understood the question. And what is it or what would you want it to be if you haven't picked one up? Bump. I think I've picked up a hobby.

I've, like, bought gaming consoles that I didn't have before games. But that's not a hobby i like have played beat saber a lot that's a hobby um it's a workout too yeah that's fun amir are you gonna play more beat saber now that you've bought a quest the answer is yes i did buy a quest and i did play the demo of beat saber and it was very fun and And I think I'm going to pull the trigger, buy a full game or two. Super Hot, another one I hear is super hot. There's a Tetris game within the VR universe. I'm for sure getting that.

And then there's a bunch of free apps that everyone's telling me to get. Chat rooms, rec rooms, game rooms, all these like VR skydiving, scuba diving experiences. Looking forward to it. I'll say it's my new hobby, sure. Gaming for sure is a new hobby for me. And then VR specifically, a sub-hobby within that hobby. Billy? I don't know if it's a hobby,

but I've been walking way too much. I saw your tweet. I've been walking about seven miles a day. Yeah, I've been walking a lot um and there's not much more behind it because i'm struggling to give you a good funny answer but i've been walking way too well you live at what uh so that was actually way closer some of us who just listen to this insane podcast you produce every week, Jeff,

there's lots of bleeps and beeps. And as the listener, we're like, I wonder if he's actually saying anything there or if they're just bleeping it out and listeners, he was like eight numbers off from my actual house. A true freaked out moment. I mean,

actually true freaked out moment. And there's no reason for him to know that. That was a total guess. That was truly a total guess. But I just, i know you told me once that you lived in silver lake and i just went with the first street name i could remember is there like a website you went on and like searched my information jeffrey be honest with me you have a guilty look you do know you seem to know where people live a lot right no that's true so some people have like i mean i don't want to say it but resting b face right When you kind of look angry all the time, I have resting guilty face.

So I, let's just say I'm in court a lot. Is there a chance that you're often guilty and it's not just a resting face, but it's the appropriate face given your circumstances? Who's to say? A hundred percent. Yeah. So what'll do is i i kind of have little schemes that go poorly or well depending on if you're on the receiving end or on my end um i i execute to plan and then it kind of makes other people's days not go according to their own agent of chaos yeah no that's exactly that's exactly it so caa laid off 300 people today and i was one of their agents of chaos not literary ron mayor put me on salary to sort of sow seeds of dissent within the other agencies right i have no idea what you're talking about

these blank stares if you guys could be in my shoes, have a little empathy for your boy because it's just, I'll say something that I think is a carefully crafted sentence and then it's just, you guys don't know what to say and I don't understand. Your tux. Okay. Right? Cut it out. I'm going to ask you to cut it out.

That's fine. No, Ferris will bleep it out. I 100% agree with you. But that's a very hilly area. Your thighs must be on the rise. The fact that you know the topography of my neighborhood is doubling down on how troubling. I almost lived on this. So I know that there's a bunch of public stair sets over there.

He's troubling down for sure. This is unbelievable. What about you, Jeff? Let's pivot off of me and onto you. Do you have a new hobby or something that you've been getting better at? I've also been walking. I've been doing 10,000 steps a day for the most part.

Hobbies? I've gotten pretty good at basketball. I always sucked at basketball, but we have a hoop in our driveway, so I've been... My jump shot is damp. It's not wet. I was going to ask,

what is good at basketball to you if you're just playing, like shooting hoops in your driveway? Hitting 60% maybe of every jump shot I put up. Do you believe that, Amir? No. It's very hard. One-on-one.

One-on-one. Winner, we switch salaries if I win. Okay, sure. Really? Yeah, whatever. At the very least, I'm an imposing presence in the paint, in the post. Kind of. You're right, Jeff.

I'll just say that from the beginning of this podcast to now um you seem like a deflated balloon like your your posture you're sweating your shirt has those wrinkles that indicate a stressful day i hope it wasn't me i hope that i haven't done this to the podcast it's not you i'm just hoping that we get some ad sales on this episode good luck man for real i appreciate it i mean if you mean that genuinely, I really appreciate that. I could really use the help in a way. So my Venmo is at Jeffrey James. If

anybody, especially minors, would want to maybe send me some money. Bad call out. You're asking for cash? From children. Because I figure that they don't have their own banking account. It's just going to come from their parents. And their parents are none the Pfizer. Meaning? Working chemicals. Got it. Here's a good segment. This is for real.

What month do you think the vaccine is going to come out? Why are you giggling? That is a wild giggle moment. This show started as people having to dodge my conversation starters. Now it's me having to dodge you guys being pissed at me for whatever.

I could come up with an amazing segment and it wouldn't matter to Marika. I'd probably be amenable to some that like actually made sense. I weren't like, okay. It's pretty good guess. I think Trump fast tracks it though. He needs it out by his election so he can pin his hopes to something. You think before December?

Yeah, I think I'm going to say October, but it won't be very efficient i don't know just turning the whole covet 19 thing into a pithy late night game feels a little socially irresponsible i think that we as a community can be doing a lot more to um mitigate the spread you know we can rely on scientists and upper management and some sort of pharmaceutical agencies to hopefully come up with some sort of vaccine. But truth be told, I think that the way to move forward as a community is to not turn this into a game, not make this into a joke. Jeffrey, I think it's just to wear a mask, practice social distancing, and hopefully we can kick this thing.

Hopefully we can kick this thing, yeah. No, that's been my approach. Not really. you turned it into you you sort of set us up now i feel bad because i fucking answered your question you giggled as a reminder jeffrey you giggled as you asked when do you think the vaccine will giggle wasn't in regards to the virus billy it was in regards to me anticipating the groans that i would get from you guys when this is a real segment. I am only making through this thing week by week, day by day, hour to hour, by looking forward to next year,

thinking that we're going to get this vaccine, that maxi-vaxi, the one that's going to kind of maximize its potential by December. Because if it doesn't come by December... I'm clear what's going on. Yeah, me too, Marika. Amir's gone and Jeff is

frozen in a... In a bad way for him, I'd say. He's frozen in an aggressively leaning forward position which has kind of mimicked the energy he's put forth for the past 45 minutes oh yeah oh he's back okay they didn't leave i thought they left it's it's given me hope that's all i can say it really is that's nice i'm glad you have hope. Yeah. Keep it up, big guy. It's a positive thing. Keep it up. This has been a morale... What's the opposite of booster?

Downer? I put seven hours into this. You definitely didn't. I signed up 45 minutes ago. Because you had 45 minutes to prepare. I woke up at 11, and from 11 to 6, I was working on the award show. You had meetings. I had a meeting, but I was kind of not really present at the meeting. So that's not good because all your co-workers are going to hear that.

So I wanted to plug some Emmy nominees, right? I wanted to plug Emmy nominees. I said that I would do this podcast if I could talk about Nicholas Braun's Emmy nomination. That's not like plugging an Emmy nominee. I mean, yeah, I'm happy. That's exactly what it is. I'm happy that Succession got so many nominations, including Nicholas Braun and Kieran Culkin and Jeremy Strong and Matthew McFadyen and Sarah Snook. That's great. Thrilled. Best day of my quarantine because of that.

Well, debatable now. Did anyone feel like there were any snubs is anyone upset about something people seem to be upset about Breaking Bad or not Breaking Bad Better Call Saul's lack of nominations did it not get nominated I think

just deserve two nominations in the same category no actor nominations for Better Call Saul which which I don't watch, so I can't expand. I don't know anyone who watches Better Call Saul. Actually, I know two people that watch it. A lot of people on my Twitter timeline do. I know nine people who watch Better Call Saul. Okay, so that's a lot. Yeah, it's skyrocketing right now.

Two of them are in the Academy. Three of them are in the Academy. That's just a long-winded way to tell us Three of them are in the academy. It's just a long winded way to tell us that, you know, people in the academy. It's pretty, pretty transparent. I thought it was veiled. Yeah, veils are transparent. Every time Jeff leans back, there's a hook behind his head, and I think he's just going to nail his head on that thing

i was wondering how this podcast ends and that feels vaguely appropriate oh he had a tuxedo and then he mains himself okay that would be on brand billy uh game on i would say as a snub yeah we were up for best reality competition we didn't get we didn't i looked i looked for you guys on that and i was sad when i didn't see it um fellow head gum podcaster ian carmel did a bang-up job on that show a real treat yeah yeah no but onward and lateral for some yeah pretty good you have anything to plug i i don't have anything to plug you go ahead to kind of uh take je inspiration. My Venmo is at William hyphens. You can check out the no joke podcast and Twitter, Instagram at Billy. Everyone,

everyone should listen to no joke and I guess buckets, which you're now the host of apparently award winning. Apparently. This is our first episode where the guests haven't left. And I'm going to end it right here before everybody leaves. Thanks, everybody. We'll see you guys next week. Fuck.

Billy just left. Fuck. Okay. They're gone. Tune in again next week, guys. We almost got them to stay until the end. Appreciate every one of you. Tell your friends about the show.

Listen to Billy's podcast, No Joke. Listen to If I Were You and Buckets, Amir's show. And listen to Review Review on the HeadGum Network. Thank you guys so much. We'll see you guys next week. And until then, I am going to go figure out Billy's exact street address. And I will email it to everyone who's on the HeadGum newsletter. Bye, everybody.

That was a HeadGum podcast.