The Headgum Podcast - 113: The Price Alt Right

Episode Date: July 29, 2022

Amir, Marika, and Kayla join Geoff to discuss Geoff's big spill, their LA recs, and insurrection! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify. Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. I'll do fair for 200. Really? Alright, fair for 200. Oh, this is perfect. A burger joint Johnny wouldn't dare step foot in. Met. Is Johnny?

Yes. Danny. Shake Shack. I wanna give it to you. That's incorrect. Yanks. Yes, George. Is it something like In-N-Out because Johnny doesn't live on the West Coast?

You know what? That's funnier, so I'll give you the cash for it, but that's not it. I've definitely never opened up to you about the burger joints I go to. Okay. Is it a burger joint called the burger joint? Oh, wait. Holy shit. I actually think it is.

I'll still give that to him here. Where is Burgers by Honest Chops in the village? No, that's not what I said. Do we have any NYU students here? Yeah. Do you guys ever go to Burgers by Honest Chops? No. Cool.

In studio, everything's clean. That I can assure you. Yeah. How does everybody feel? I feel a little frazzled after what just happened. Mariko, would you like to narrate? Sure. I don't know what you were doing right beforehand but basically what's that face no i just because it really did go from me just

sitting here to yeah you kind of suddenly gesticulated and slapped your pint glass of cold brew onto the ground onto the sandbags onto your tote bag of cold brew onto the ground, onto the sandbags, onto your tote bag, onto the camera, onto the cord loop. My phone. Yeah, onto your phone. Yeah. So you spent the better part of five minutes cleaning that up. Casey frazzled, because you've been in this position before,

if we recall, when you sprayed. 100 times. Yeah, you sprayed yeah you sprayed um champagne everywhere yeah so repeat event slightly less sticky fortunately didn't get on any equipment but you know it was a it was a pint glass which is very big you can hold it up right now and it was like filled to the brim with like cold blue cold brew concentrate like the caffeine equivalent of five coffees spilled everywhere as you tipped the glass over. That was full to the brim.

Yeah, it was probably at the logo. Yeah. Dame Lillard style. Nice. Thursday, July 21st. What? The fact that it's not really playing. Yeah.

But in the end. It was also just like, it didn't look like you were doing anything. So it just kind of, it almost felt like Casey was the one that clapped. We tried to get a producer camera on Casey for this episode, but we'll have to do it next time.

Yeah. I could hold up my iPhone and film him the entire time. You run out of storage in five minutes. But what a way to go. We have in studio, I should have started with this, two New Yorkers. We've got Kayla Moriarty on the horn and Marika Brownlee, I think, bringing up the rear

interesting sure and then where do i land here is here the middle cog yeah machine that'd be nice um i'm a middle child are you was your experience to textbook or was it better than that to textbook yeah what is the middle child known for? Being overlooked. Because it's all about the extremes. The youngest and the oldest. Which of your brothers is overlooked? Because you're the youngest, right? Yeah. The middle child, you know, graphic designer. I don't know if he was overlooked. Seems like he was properly looked, but I'd have to ask him for his own personal. Oh, coffee almost spilled. Oh, God. Yeah.

Yeah, that's good. I don't want to call him right now. You text. All right, fine. Hey, were you overlooked growing up? It's kind of like the text that we almost made Jeff send. Right. I thought you did send a text.

I did send a text. Not the one you... Yeah. She wanted me to send my ex-girlfriend. We're on good terms, right? Oh, yeah. And I couldn't to send my ex-girlfriend. We're on good terms, right? Oh, yeah. And I couldn't do that. Interesting.

Because even if you're on good terms, that's not a good text. Because it means I'm about to say something that might put us on bad terms. Right. Yeah. How is Los Angeles treating you guys? You were just here. I was just here. Yeah.

I haven't been since 2019. Right. How has it changed? Yeah. There's pudding stores. Hmm. I haven't been since 2019. How has it changed? Yeah, there's pudding stores. I haven't noticed this. It's been pretty much the same as currently. She has brought up multiple times that the noodle place is gone. Yeah, but that was even before the pandemic.

There was a place very close by here called We Have Noodles. That was my favorite restaurant in LA and it's gone. We Have Noodles? Yeah. it feels like a cardboard sign it's really like one of the best meals i've ever eaten in my life it was like sous vide chicken breast soup uh pickled long beans i'll never forget it and i'll never be able to eat it. Two bean chicken breasts. And long beans. Big old long beans for $81.50. Were there noodles? Yeah, there were noodles. You bet there were noodles.

How did you even find that place? My friend, I swam with my friend. I think it was like on this block on the corner. Like it was very close to here. Yeah, because there is a noodle place and it's called Needle. Yeah, I it was very close to here. Yeah. Because there is a noodle place, and it's called Needle. Yeah. I think it was in that building.

Yeah. Have you been to the Giant Isaac Bread Co. next door? Oscar Isaac and his brother got into the bakery. Yeah. Giant. Ryan? No. G-I-A-N? The Dean's Ryan. Yeah. It's J-I-A-N?

The Dean's Ryan. It's J-Y-A-N. Which does feel like Gene Ryan. Casey, did you ever go to this noodle place? Have you heard of it? I've never heard of this place, no. Now I feel like I'm being gaslit. Like it wasn't real.

It was, I assure you. Everywhere I liked in New york you were like okay that's the place you got really into zay bars like a month into your trip you discovered that well i know that everybody loves zay bars but i emerged out of the subway station whatever the fucking thing is the l not the l the uh the the six yeah sure the red one not the L, the six. Yeah, sure. The red one. No, that's the one, two, three. One, two, three. Yeah. In the Upper West Side. Amsterdam. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. And I was like, where have you been all my life?

It was love at first flight of stairs in some way. I was gonna say flight of cheese. The architecture was unbelievable. I mean the fucking, where did John Lennon get shot? The Dakota? Yeah, the Dakota. I would, the fucking, where did John Lennon get shot? The Dakota? Yeah, the Dakota.

I would kill to live there. Sure. Yeah. I used to work at a hospital in New York City, and our claim to fame was that that's the hospital where John Lennon died. Yeah. That's how I am. Do you feel him?

Every day. Wait. Let's keep it going i do want to hear more about you guys uh jaunt in la but that's everybody's i have a great answer for this. We have Craig. What's his name? Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig.

What sucks for you is that you just did this 48 hours ago. I don't even remember what I said. Things have changed in the landscape of James Bond. And obviously this will come out way later than this. But Joe Pera did announce that he is the new James Bond on Seth Meyers last night. So that's my Bond of the week. He said, we need a James Bond who knows a lot about trees and beans, and I agree with that.

What's going on with you and beans today? Yeah, a lot of beans talk. Not to be confused with a bean stalk. I was quoting Joe Pera. What's going on with you and beans today? Yeah, a lot of beans talk. Not to be confused with a bean stalk. I was quoting Joe Pera. You were paraphrasing. Wow. Very nice.

Why not a celibate American James Bond, you said. Why not a celibate American James Bond? Okay. So that's my pick. Joe Pera's great. Sure. Amir? I'll stick with the Joes and I'll go Joe Biden. Come on, man.

What is that? That's my Biden impression. That's a bunch of malarkey. Wow. He has COVID, so prayers. Why won't you die? Amir. Wow. Yeah. He has COVID so personally. Why won't you die? To me or her? Wow. Yeah.

Anyway, that's my vote. I can talk about beans more. Please. Bond of the week? Going to go with my boy whose new show I love, Nathan Fielder. Yeah. I've heard it's good. I haven't seen it yet.

So good. That would be very funny. My friend used to live right next door to Nathan. He lives right two blocks that way. Casey? How about DJ Qualls?

He's old and thin. Explain, please. Yeah, who's DJ Qualls? He's the nerdy guy from Road Trip. Yeah. Oh. I don't think he's been in a movie in 15 years at least. What a comeback.

That's what I'm thinking. Emaciated man. You know, I had a different one written down, but I might change mine to Brandon Frazier for similar reasons. Brandon or Brendan? Brendan. Brandon. Bro, a different guy? Yeah, he's the namesake of Frazier National Park.

Oh, interesting. What? It's like Glacier, but you're a little frazzled. How many scrambled eggs and tossed salads can you get there? Well, none because it's a national park. Grayson, cut this out. No.

Grayson, don't listen to Jeff. Is this leading to the you must not know about something song? No, I stopped doing that. Oh, yeah. Why is that? I didn't like it. It became not fun for me. Interesting.

My pick this week is Prince Harry because he needs, first of all, he needs to ingratiate himself back within like the classic UK culture. Also, he's not doing anything. And he's living in here, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In LA?

Yeah. He can take a meeting at MGM like that. And I think it'd be interesting to see a royal bond. Sorry, did you think that was a pun? I thought that was sort of a bomb drop. I thought that would be interesting to you guys in some way. Not really. Great.

Bond is kind of like royalty almost to the culture. Right. Yeah. He's gone. Okay. That's fine. He's leaving, I think. Checking the levels or maybe we haven't recorded.

Grayson, keep that in. I'm worried about the sound effects playing in the room and then hitting Casey's mic. I'm worried about it hitting my ears. Yeah, definitely also that. You really are. Make sure that everything works

a second time. I don't even know if it worked on the Tuesday episode. We did the same thing. There were some issues for sure. Like Echo. Yeah. Like you guys talked about Gash too much. I wasn't there. I didn't hear that.

The Gash thing or the Echo? The Echo. And did you hear the Gash thing? Oh, the Gash thing was a hit. That episode hasn't come out yet, right? It comes out tomorrow morning, but I know it's going to be a hit. Interesting.

Okay. Just you three. You, Jake and Mir. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be a hit. The core four. Yeah.

Let's take it back to Kayla and Marika in Los Angeles. How long are you here? Until Monday. Okay. Okay. So that's enough time to maybe have a little rendezvous. how long are you here uh till Monday okay so that's enough time to maybe have a little rendezvous let's talk about dating in LA

yeah uh are you curious no what the scene is like here compared to New York not really

really yeah but what about like yeah cause I was thinking we could go to Zebulon asking her out no I feel like I could wingman Zebulon. Asking her out? No, I feel like I could wingman you.

That's cool. That is nice of you. I don't think I need to go to Zebulon though. Have you been? No. I ran into, the last time Jake was in town, I think you weren't there, but I ran into Jake and Marty at Zebulon and I just surfed with Jake that morning.

Do you go often? What's that? Do you go often? Or's that? Do you go often? Or was that just a coincidence? Well, it's kind of interesting, actually, because like Zebulon was like the bar last year. OK. Yeah.

OK. So what? Are you like meeting me where I'm at? I don't think so. I that was every weekend we were going. And then this year it hasn't been thus. Interesting. It's been maybe gone twice since I got back

from New York, which for those who aren't familiar, this is a fine bar in Los Angeles. That's something we replaced it. 4100 bar. You're going there every weekend? Almost every weekend, yeah. Wow, interesting. That's crazy to me because that was like a spot like a decade ago.

Right. 4,100 bar. And then it wasn't. I guess it comes in cycles. And now it's back. Yeah. Things become cool and then overcrowded and then it becomes boring again and then it becomes cool again. 100%.

There was, what was the old place? Satellite. Oh, yeah, satellite. The satellite was the spot 2019. Didn't that close? Yeah, it closed. COVID closure. That's a real bummer.

There was a dance party there every Saturday called Dance Yourself Clean. That was a lot of fun. That's fun. Yeah. But we're not here to talk about fucking the satellite. But you brought up nightclubs in LA. We're here to talk about LA Rex.

What's that? It's Rex Orange County. This is Rex Los Angeles County. Do you guys need any Rex? Oh, Rex. Restaurants. Where did you guys eat dinner last night? Semitropic.

Semitropic. With Marty and Cohen. Marty loves the Semitropic. Semitropic. With Marty and Cohen. Marty loves the Semitropic. Yeah, he loves it. I've been there with him. He was waxing poetically about it for most of the time. And they don't have much food. They don't at all.

No. When popcorn's on your menu. Popcorn on the menu. Hot scenes. Do you want nuts too? That'll be 11. Why? Eleni Oyster Bar.

I love that place. I highly recommend. I don't like the marinated shrimp cocktail. Thoughts? Didn't know they had that. They don't. Secret menu, yeah. Oysters Rockefeller, Clams clams casino, and a fuzzant

roast. That's a fuzzy pheasant roast on the side. What's the only steak you can have as a side? Is this a riddle? What are you saying? What? Name the only steak you can have on the side. On the side. Yeah. Side steak.

Hangar steak. Flank steak. Oh, wow. Why? Is that a riddle? Because you're flank. Yeah. Side steak. Hangar steak. Flank steak. Oh, wow. Why? Is that a riddle? Because you're flank. Okay. I was thinking like hanging on, a hanger on. Yeah. It's kind of on the side too, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Steak fries. I don't eat steak though, so. That could be the answer to your riddle. Yeah. What's the only steak you can have on the side? No, because those are fries. Steak fries.

Better than yours. What was it? Flank steak. Flank steak's really funny. Flank is a side. I think steak fries is a better punchline to that. I don't think so.

Casey? Neither are great, but one is better. He's just like... We have a little bit more time. Let's talk about this upcoming imminent formula one podcast wow can we should we it's very we've been talking about it i don't think it's a secret yeah i mean we want to make a we want to do a formula one podcast basically we have a meeting

scheduled for august 4th. That's how you work. 2023. Yeah. I'm excited. Are you? Yeah. Okay. That meeting can be the first episode. I don't think so because we have to do it

about the, what is it? The Belgian Grand Prix. Yeah. The Italian one is this weekend. Nope. The fucking,

yeah, the Austrian. It's French. For sure, yeah. That's what I meant. Austrian already happened. No, 100%. Circuit Paul Ricard. This is why you can never be on the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. For sure, yeah. Austrian already happened. No, 100%. Circuit Paul Ricard.

This is why you can never be on the podcast. You just don't know your shit, and it's pretty obvious. He's a fish now. I do think that something that I don't respect about myself is that I feel like I dabble in a lot and I don't dive into any one thing.

Well, you do dive in. You just dive out really fast. Even that hat, you want it to be a hockey fan for a while. You're being read to filth. I know. You're a jack of no trades and a master of even less than that. Wow. A whack of all trades.

You know little about everything and nothing about all. I know a lot about 60s rock. But even that is like new-ish for you. That's like four years.

Right. But I, yeah, but that's still new. I mean, it's like, yeah. I had a conversation. What trivia category would you know the most about music music yeah but specifically what kind of music any music but mostly for 60s 70s interesting i had a conversation on saturday night from i think 2 30 in the morning to 5 30 in the morning on somebody's stoop and we were talking about music because they were all musicians.

And I was talking about the, this is not interesting. No. No. You guys have nothing to add. It'd be interesting if you guys cared. I can ask you a trivia question. Yeah. That's good.

That way we can figure out exactly how much he knows about music. This is a softball question. If you don't get it, you are a disgrace to music. Well, again, I know music. I don't really know sports. It's a music question. You said it was. Oh, got it.

Yeah. It's like you're playing softball. What musician has affiliation with the Manson family? Oh, Brian Wilson. Good job. And how did he die? Or not Brian Wilson. Starts with an R.

The other Wilson brother. Incorrect. It was Brian Wilson. I'm pretty sure. I think it was Dennis Wilson. Oh, Dennis. Damn it. That definitely starts with an R. So far, Casey knows the beach. Incorrect. It was Brian Wilson, I'm pretty sure. I think it was Dennis Wilson. Oh, Dennis. Damn it. So far, Casey knows the most. How did Dennis Wilson die? I don't know.

Okay. He drowned. That sucks. Who's in the band Fun? Oh, Nate Roos, Jack Antonoff, and then the third guy that nobody cares about. Did you know that Adam was in the format with Nate? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Wait, what? Adam Boyd? Yeah. Was in the format? Yes, baby.

I loved the format. What the fuck? I know. I know. We all learned this on the retreat. I was there. I didn't hear that. I don't really know who that is or the band.

It was a really big bomb. Sorry. Adam's such a sick guy. He was in the format and then he worked at kink.com. Yeah. That's awesome. What a cool career trajectory. And now he works at HeadGum.

Interesting. You should have him on this show. It's a downward trajectory. Yeah. In a way. Yeah. In terms of notoriety. Although more people know HeadGum than the format.

I was obsessed with the format. Yeah. I went to every single show in the New England area in college. So you told him that? Oh, yeah. And then I made him get on a Zoom with my best friend and I so we could be like, oh, my God. That's crazy. Shout out the format for those who know. Dog problems.

Yeah. The format played at Grad Bash at Universal Studios in 2006. I was there. What was that? We obviously saw that. Don't say anything. But that's cool, Casey. That is really cool.

Who else played there? The format's the only one I remember. Wow. Everyone knows this band. I've never even heard of them. Can we go around really quick and say our favorite song? Never mind. No, no, no.

That's fine. Kind of never even heard of them. Can we go around really quick and say our favorite song? Never mind. No, no, no, it's not. We wrote a commercial. That's fine. Kind of abrupt, but ultimately okay. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day. Like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple.

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And we're back. You know, Kevin Love's uncle was in the Beach Boys. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. He's frazzled. Have you guys seen the show Beach Shazam beat yeah shazam shazam yes i haven't seen it uh hosted by jamie foxx um i believe on cbs sure um basically it's just can you name this song before the app Shazam does

so I thought we could play that there's no twist to it it's just I thought that'd be fun you guys ready? all three of us at the same time one at a time I think in the show they elect someone so just

for every round whoever does it the fastest is right. Yeah. Okay, so that's the name of the game. Beachazam. Great. Casey, also feel free to play along. But you guys have to elect someone.

There's six songs. Okay. So, okay. Just as in the show. You guys ready? Yeah. Sure. All right.

Classic music? I don't know. I wouldn't be able to name what this is. You guys lost. Beethoven's Third. That was Het Tempo by Edwin Rutten. Yeah. Are they all obscure or are they like real songs, I wonder?

I just was like, what, you know. Yeah, what popular songs are there in the 17th century? Right, yeah. Here we go. You guysth century right yeah here we go um you guys lost that one here we go it's going well the nutcrackers theme Nutcrackers theme.

Songs are so slow and quiet. Is this Fantasia? You guys are getting more time because Shazam can't hear it. Oh, okay. That's fair. Did it just stop? It was a short song. It's like the background to a Disney cartoon from the 20s.

All right, that's a failed round. Okay. Shazam can't recognize it. That one was Symphony No. 6, Tchaikovsky. Oh, sure. That's pretty famous. Yeah. Next one is Mambo No. 5.

Flight of the Bumblebee. Nope, that's not a song. It sounds like the beginning of It's All Coming Back to Me Now. Shazam doesn't work. I don't think these are songs. Mahler, Symphony No. 2. Sure. Okay.

I wonder if the other three are going to be symphonies like this. I bet they will. It would be fun if they were real songs. Really? Yeah. Then people can play at home. Right. I don't think people listen to this to play along.

It's more like torture. Based on the comments I read. Right. I don't know. So the worse the episode, the better almost. All right, let's hear it. So then you're nailing it. Mauler's Ball.

Everybody's talking. Save Casey. Oh, it's that. I won't be able to think of the name. I have no idea. Shazam does not work. That was A Man Without Love by Engelbert Humperdinck. Try the Siri one because maybe Shazam is.

All right, here we go. Here, I'll do it on my phone and see if it works. This is not seamless. In my head, this was going to kill. Interesting. You did say that. You want to hit play? We're back. not able to find anything

Beethoven gross fuge and it was gross fuge. And it was gross. Fuge. Really quick. Okay, so it's over. I mean, what were you going to say? No, you know what? That's good.

I think we're good. Let's get it started. The lock-eye piece. She did get that one. There you go. LA bucket list. LA bucket list. So we're back to the LA.

Well, you know, that's why they're here. That's where we are. I wish I had time to see some of my friends. Probably don't. So that's kind of a bummer. We're here for Comic-Con. So we're leaving LA. Yeah.

You want to talk about that a little bit? I mean, I'll probably have more to say when I get back. Obviously. Yeah. Sorry, I was checking my email. Yeah. Stop. Wait, by the way. So casually. Well, Jake mentioned that we might

do another festival. Is that what you're trying to do? HeadGum Live. Yeah. We're working on it we might do another festival. Is that what you're talking about? We're trying to. HeadGum Live. Yeah. We're working on it. Where do you want to see it? I don't know. I think we were talking about Portland.

Portland, Seattle. I'm listening. Anytime I talk, you were just checking your email. Well, now I'm listening intently. anytime I talk you were just checking your email well now I'm listening intently Portland yeah sure Portland Seattle

Pacific Northwest why? I don't know London I would love to go I would love to go to London just throwing it out there next year

really expensive we could just join the London podcast festival also Tokyo that would be nice Australia New Zealand we should go to Australia have you been? no I've never been Join the London Podcast Festival. Also Tokyo. That would be nice. Australia, New Zealand. You should go to Australia.

Have you been? No, I've never been. I would love to go. I used to really want to live there. What's the thing for data of like most listenership? What's it called? DMX or something? DMX is dead.

Right. Well, that's – Like the demographics. DMA. DMA. District Metropolitan Area. That's exactly right. Yeah. Well, that's... Like the demographics. Demographics. DMA. DMA. District Metropolitan Area. That's exactly right. Yeah. Where are our biggest cities?

New York, for sure. Toronto, I think, right? Yeah. Melbourne. New York, LA. London. Toronto doesn't really... No.

I mean, it's usually like New York, LA, Boston, Austin, Chicago. Cleveland. Atlanta. Very coastal, very urban. Yeah. Yeah. We should do Nashville. We could do Paris.

Paris? Paris, yeah. It doesn't really do well in non-English speaking countries. Yeah. Romania then. Romania? Romania? Excuse me.

I have the hiccups. I hope it's... It's because you guys were housing cake before this you force fed everyone at the office yeah he's been talking about it all day I had half a cake left over your cousin baked and you

cousin baked a cake for Avital's birthday we finished half of it brought in the other half and then everybody here got together ate a lot of cake and there's still half of it, brought in the other half. And then everybody here got together, ate a lot of cake, and there's still half of that half left. Can I actually bring something up? Every time you start talking, you move on. It's fine. Why am I even here?

Please continue. I was just going to say, I feel like this is a good place to address what I think is some tension between us, Amir. Oh, me and you? Yeah, because you asked me if I wanted cake, and I said, no, thank thank you and the look I got. Because I'm trying to hoard this cake.

You hoard it? I'm trying to come home with an empty tray. Oh, I see. Yeah. Well, I just felt like you were really mad at me and I just want to make sure

we're okay. Because I feel like everyone should be doing their part to finish the cake. It doesn't matter. It doesn't. It doesn't matter. I don't really like desserts.

Yeah. Interesting. Except like Sour Patch Kids. Yeah. Oh, you like Sour Patch Kids? Or Sour Punch Straw, Sour Belt. I'm the opposite. I like pastries and I don't really like desserts. Yeah. Interesting. Except at like Sour Patch Kids. Yeah. Or Sour Punch Straw, Sour Belt. I'm the opposite. I like pastries and I don't like candy.

I love all sweets. Anyways, just want to say I'm so sorry if I offended you. So you would never have any cake or cookie? Not never, but not often. Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen. Are you having one? Probably not. Wow. What if they were brown butter chocolate chip? Maybe I'd try one. I had a little piece of cookie at Micah's birthday

when we got him Levain cookies. Oh, those are... And you're not even into that? No. Interesting. Why do you think that is? I don't know. Those are like the easiest things to eat. Yeah, it's not about the difficulty of eating the dessert. It's about her not having a big sweet tooth. Yeah, but you can have not a big sweet tooth, but still want a cookie.

No, you can't. I would rather have a cheese plate than any dessert any day. Ice cream? Could it be me? No. No ice cream for me. I'll skip the tart and get an Amaro Nonino. Oh, yeah.

I mean, I drink my desserts. Yeah. It's a digestive. Yeah. What's the deal with almonds as like a pastry? Like I accidentally got like an almond croissant. Those are so... I love a digestif. What's the deal with almonds as like a pastry? Like I accidentally got like an almond croissant. Those are so, I love them. Yeah, marzipan is like my favorite almond anything.

How do you make that? It's not just almonds, right? Yes. Yeah. But they make it sweet in a way. Almonds are sweet. Yeah, they have some sugars. Also, that's what cyanide tastes like.

Oh, really? It's almost like alcohol. Yeah. So if I, yeah, never mind. No, here. That's right. Plant that seed. It's almost like alcohol.

So if I, yeah, nevermind. That's right. Plant that seed. Welcome to the Price Alt Right. So the name of the game is the Price Alt Right. Basically what I'm going to do with all the talk of the, Did you just get Photoshop? Because you've been Photoshopping more recently. The Gash

Cab, the Price Alt-Right. The Instagram posts. It's all new. I'm trying to put some more effort into the show. I love it. It's called the Price Alt-Right. The effort's nice, but the output doesn't seem worth it.

It's funny that the CBS logo is still there. It's nice that you're trying, but... It's a big CBS day on the podcast. We're really celebrating it. Yeah, the eye. And the eyes have it. CBS paid me the most in my life ever, so I feel brand loyalty.

And you've worked here for many years in comparison. Well, yeah. Anyway, Price Alt-Right, the Price Alt-Right, the idea is there's been a lot of talk in the news recently about the more higher-ups that were involved and at fault for the January 6th insurrection and attempted coup. But what about all the people that were there,

the rioters who are currently in jail? Which I'll remind everyone was not me, like you tried to say on a previous episode. Well, I wouldn't talk with too much freedom about it because you might end up locked into litigation. Here we go, I'm going to present you a rioter, I'm going to present you a rioter. I'm going to tell you what they did.

And then Price is Right rules, you have to tell me how long their sentence is in months. Okay. This is for actual cash. Are we calling them rioters or patriots? Oh, my God. Holy shit. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

Nice. Here we go. Our first contestant in a way. This is Robert Scott Palmer. He hurled wooden boards and an extinguisher at police

officers. What do you think this sentence is? Is this a sentence served in jail or is it something else? Jail. Okay. Nine months. Nine months?

One month. Okay. 14 months. All right. I had like a- Should Casey guess? Yeah, Casey. 20 months. Casey takes the cake with that one, so to speak.

He got 63 months wow here we go Jesus Christ this is gonna be Devlin Thompson Devlin Devlin assaulted a Devlin himself

Devlin assaulted a police officer with a metal baton and he also tried to throw a speaker at the police, but missed and ended up injuring another rioter. So does that take months off? I think it's still violence and a crime. He threw a speaker or the speaker of the house? He hurled Nancy.

She's petite. Spaker of the house. The guy looks like an extra from Newsies. There's no way this is an American film. You mentally cut off so fast. You were like, I'll try this. I felt so small in that moment. Yeah.

Yeah. I got it though. Labels. Okay, I'm going to say 16 months. 16 months. I'm going to go 70. 70 months? Mm-hmm.

Ooh, give me 30 months. 30 months. Casey? 45. Casey is once again correct. Wow. 46 months. Wow.

I can't believe it's less than Devlin. I was just watching. I was taking note of what Devlin was up to that looks like a Rosenberg brother Lonnie Leroy Kaufman Lonnie drove to the capital from Alabama in a pickup truck loaded with a small arsenal of Molotov cocktails,

a 9mm handgun, a rifle, a shotgun, hundreds of rounds of ammunition, large capacity ammunition feeding devices, a crossbow with bolts, machetes, camouflaged smoke detectors, and gas-filled mason jars used to make

napalm. Damn. But then he got sleepy and ended up crashing in Charlotte. I would also like to mention that he was 72 at the time of his sentences. And carrying two handguns at the time of arrest. Jesus.

I kind of feel bad for this guy. Am I boring you? Yeah, a little bit. Shit, really? 71 months. Let's give him the chair. The judge did say I'd never seen a homemade batch of weaponry to this scale. Wow.

I mean, whatever five years is in months. Five times 12. You're on top of the math stuff pretty well. 60. You're guessing 60. 60. I don't know. 40. Okay. I'm going to say community service.

He just has to work at a preschool for a year. Kayla takes it with 40. He got 46 months, which less than Devlin. Yeah. Who fucking threw a wood. Yeah, I don't get how the first guy got the most. It seemed like his wasn't as bad as the other two. I think different juries, different judges.

Yeah. Different executioners. Nicholas. different judges, yeah. Different executioners. Nicholas Languerand. What's that? Was that just him at a Bills game? No way that's the front camera on an iPhone. It's very sharp. I feel like he either turned his phone around

or it's like a legit camera. He looks a little bit like one of my childhood best friends. Yeah, this guy could be like a nice guy. Yeah. I don't know. He threw various objects at police, including an orange traffic barrier and two stick-like objects. Prosecutors claimed the items were capable of inflicting serious bodily injury, but they didn't. Which, I don't like his politics,

but I'm a little bit like, how did you go to jail for that? Yeah. Let's hear your guys' guesses. Six months? 30. 30? One year. 14 months.

Marika takes it. 44 months. Only two months less than the guy who basically had an entire third world country's army arsenal in his fucking dodge. We should work to get this man out of prison. He's a hero. Oh my god. We do nothing for Brittany Griner and we do everything for Nicholas Languerand. Jacob Anthony Chansley,

AKA the QAnon shaman. All he really did was dress like a shaman and then like kind of waltz around. But what the prosecutor said was, what you did was terrible. You made yourself and then like kind of waltz around uh but what the prosecutors said was what you did was terrible you made yourself the epitome of the riot you didn't slug anybody but what you did here was actually obstruct the functioning of the entire government which is a serious crime 70 months. 36. Everything seems to be in the 40s,

so maybe there's some sort of precedent there. 40 months. Okay. Casey? 50 months. Amir is correct. 41 months. Greg Rubenacker.

This guy just vaped on a tour of the Oval Office. That's exactly right. All he did was smoke weed but on capital grounds and on live it looks like yeah that's his own instagram that's snapchat yeah 10 months is that yellow facial hair yeah that's what i'm trying to figure out what's happening i thought that was a scarf or something. I think it's this weird fur. Like it's under chin beard situation? I think it's like an animal scarf.

Are we boring you, Jeff? Yeah, a little bit. Everyone's yawning. Faster would be good. It's a sign of a great pause. We're all groggy from eating sandwiches. This dude smoked out the Capitol. So he hotboxed the capital yeah that's a rotunda

at least 20 months okay I said 10 18 okay Casey uh 24 Casey takes it 41 months the same as the shaman here we go everything's in the 40s it seems Cleveland

Meredith jr. this guy seems kind of nice yes seems it but he's also doing like motocross the shaman. Everything's in the 40s, it seems. Cleveland Meredith Jr. This guy seems kind of nice. He seems it, but he's also doing motocross. It's just like when they're younger, Amir's like, this guy is good. Can you imagine this guy being a sweet sort of nature enthusiast a little bit? I can see him being

fine, and then when he's drunk at the local dive, he starts saying racist things. I know at a base level I'm not gonna trust anyone. He's, he's, he's, sorry he gives cuck energy. He wishes he gives cuck energy. You're saying he's not even confident enough in his

sexuality that he can't present that to his partner? No, yeah, not even. That's really sad. 40? Well what did he do? I didn't even say what he did. Yeah but everyone's okay 41 traveled from colorado 41 traveled from colorado to attend the riot but later told investigators that he arrived too late in the end he was helping a family of ducklings cross the road in missouri the day after he sent a family member in georgia a text message threatening to kill Nancy Pelosi. So his mother contacted

the FBI and ratted him out. Love that. Love that energy. Also Colorado How old is he? Shut up for a second. I never understand Colorado Republicans. Why? I mean there's a lot of them but I feel like Colorado is such a blue state.

There's a lot of Republicans in California too. Everywhere. Whatever. There's a lot of Republicans in California too. Yeah, everywhere. Yeah, whatever. Let's go with 35. 35, okay. Casey? So he just texted. He wasn't even there and he sent a text. Yeah.

Well, he was there. He arrived late. So he got there a day later. He got there on the 9th. Now it's time. Went to Sparrow. But he wasn't there insurrecting anyone.

A verbal warning. Insurrecting anybody. I'm going to say nobody was correct in that one. 28 months. So this guy's in prison. Robert Chapman. Ooh, mutton chaps. Mutton Chapman. This. Mutton Chaps. Mutton Chapman.

This guy seems like a nice guy. One week after January 6th, Chapman told someone on Bumble that he took part in the riot. I did, stormed the Capitol, he wrote in a message. I made it all the way to Statuary Hall. The person Chapman confessed to then replied, we are not a match. Ordered

three months home... Oh, sorry match. Ordered three months home. Oh, sorry. Three months. Three months. I think the answer is three months. And then on top of that, he got this other sentence. Life. The chair.

For the fucking beard. I kind of fucked it up. 18 months probation. This has been the price all right question yep take us through the thought process of making this segment

do you have a google doc going with a Take us through the thought process of making this segment. Do you have a Google Doc going with a bunch of possibilities? Did you say this once in a joke slash tweet and you said, oh, this could be good for a segment one day? And then you backed into the rules of the game. I have found that game show parodies do well on the show, both with the audience and sometimes you guys have fun so I was like what's yeah what do you think went wrong this time can we open up for feedback yeah let's spend the next

final five minutes auditing me a little bit you thought of the title first right I thought of by the way it's a really great title the title is right it's correct really great title. The title is right. It's correct. And then you backed into the game based on the title. Well, I was reading the news because I also come up with segments based on news. And it was like an article about all the people who had been sentenced from the January 6th riots.

And I was like, oh, that'd be funny to guess. It could be funny to guess what their sentences are based on these things because a lot of these are ridiculous and they're all really ugly. And then I backed my way into the price alt right. Beat Shazam, I was like, that's a game show I haven't parodied yet. How do I make it frustrating to play? Yeah. Based on like early obscure classical music. Well, really famous classical music, but you guys are, well, uncultured.

Yeah. Swine. Well, really famous classical music, but you guys are uncultured. Yeah. Swine. Well, I will say I preferred this to the game that you had us play one time of just watching you scroll through Deadline.

So this was much better than that. That was more of a brainstorm. What was that game called? Jeff was Unprepared Today. Yeah. Yeah, no, I think that just in general, game show parodies. I mean, this isn't really even a game show parody.

It just is like the rules kind of one part of the price is right. Gash Cab went over pretty well because I did one to one. Well, that hasn't come out yet, so we don't know how it went. And it sounds incredibly offensive. Well, it's just anatomy. Looking at me. I didn't come up with that. Bodies are weird, man.

Bodies are very weird. What's the gash equivalent for penis? Long bean. Pickled long bean. Member. Member. We have pills. Plugs. What do you guys have going on when you want to point the people

to the floor as Casey's first? Wow. Follow me on Twitter at Casey Donahue. And also Letterboxd. Why not? Marika? Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Letterboxd at Marika follow me on Twitter Instagram

and Letterboxd at Marika Ilan I need more Letterboxd followers guys how many Letterboxd followers do you have like 500 something

can you like people's reviews or yeah oh you can yeah yeah Amir I'll take it. TikTok.

OK Bloomer. Casey? Or Kayla? Follow me on Instagram and Twitter. Kayla LaMoriarty. Sorry. I just, I feel so unwelcomed here. If you're at Comic-Con, go to the newcomers panel. If you're in Montreal, go to Jake and Amir's show.

I don't think they'll come out. They'll both be over. This is a weekend tomorrow. Yeah, you're right. Wait, they'll both be over? One is? Oh, yeah. Wow.

Well, I hope we saw you there then. Yeah. Me too. Come say hi. I don't know what else we're up to. There's so many things. We have a lot of things cooking. At Jeff Boyardee on Twitter.

Still nearing 10,300 more to go, I think. And we'll have a company happy hour if I make it. Oh, that's nice. Oh, yeah. I won't be here. No, I mean, you're going to New York. What's that? Yeah.

You're going to New York? I go to New York tomorrow oh how long are you there for my mom's birthday oh that's nice yeah we'll see you guys again next week

that's Daz it really is Daz folks That was a Hidgum Original.