The Headgum Podcast - 149: MILF Manor

Episode Date: April 14, 2023

Marika, Joel, and Brad join Geoff to discuss his trip to Paris, ghosting Brad, and celebrity spankings! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Okay, right. No one questioned it. Yeah, yes, right. And I walked up to the, finally my friends met me there, and I walked up to the hostess desk and I was like, hey, just so you know, all of us are here.

I put my name in an hour ago. You said it would be an hour, but you haven't texted me yet. And like, I meant it as like, I'm early. So like, no worries. But like, I'm not walking up because we're ready. But it came out as, why didn't you text me yet? And I thought about it. I've been thinking about it every day.

Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, it's probably okay. What's that? sucks yeah it's probably okay what's that you make me not want to talk at all you are a silencer Bonjour! Comment ça va? Ça va bien. Ça va bien. Bien. There you go. what did I say

bien well that's kind of how they say it in French they don't say bien they're like ça va bien yeah you said it right that time I said it right the first time and the second time and the third time

we're coming in with a lot of mismatched energy today we've also got some segments here that are going to be polarizing for sure. But let's just all introduce ourselves for the audio listeners, and then we'll get on with this shit. Let's start with Joel. The name's Joel. Moving on. Marika.

My name is Marika. Brad. Yeah, I'm Brad Yeah I'm Brad I'm mad at you Why because we didn't climb You fucking ghosted me You're sick Just focus on being sick

Don't focus on being sick Focus on Jeff ghosting you Yeah You didn't even fucking text me back I was packing. I don't care. I was trying to go to Gate 3. I didn't know that.

You told me the week before that you were going to be around and that you would go climb with me. We were supposed to go bouldering. We were supposed to go bouldering. All right. Well, I think Jeff was scared. Yes.

Brad's really good at climbing. I haven't climbed for like two months, right? So I'm not gonna do well. I have something to say about this. Yeah. Revenge is a dish best served bouldering. That's awful, Joel. You said that was good.

That was really good. He said he had the best one-liner. I said jouldering, and that's gold, Joel. Yeah, no. Anyway. No, I'm sorry that I ghosted you. But I might come to Portland.

I don't care. Why? What do you mean, why? You know why. Don't come to Portland. You're not welcome here. You know what? Why don't we keep Portland clear of your ass?

Of you. No, seriously, though. Fuck you. I am sorry. I've been known to ghost. Not women. I usually will have a specific... Sorry, my roommate's dog just made a...

I've been known to jost. Scarjo. You call in josted me. That was good. We have a lot to get to. Do you guys have any bullshit you want to get out of the way first before we get to the good stuff? I might edit this out.

I guess not. No, I want people to know. Spent the last hour trying to think of a good one-liner about climbing. And it is all billable. Joel, can we talk about the stuffed animals that are on the bed behind you? Yeah, what you got, bud? Let's not, actually. Are you in Philadelphia?

Because, yeah, you're in like a gaming chair next to like a 2010 Dell. I'm not in Philadelphia. I'm not in Philadelphia, no. Philadelphia. Don't worry about it. You're in Manila. There's a fight going on tonight. Like a UFC or boxing fight?

Like a thriller. Somebody from UFC follows a bunch of HeadGum people. I want to shout him out if he's listening to this. I don't remember his name, but you know who you are. Thanks for listening, and please don't hurt me. Thanks for listening, and please don't hurt me. Thanks for listening, and please don't hurt me. Right. I feel UFC

fighters... I'm the one coming in with this Friday feeling. TGIF! I was going to say, I feel like UFC fighters don't just hurt people willy-nilly. You'd have to go into the ring, which I do think we should I think we should do I think we should do a

Logan Paul-esque match but it's you and Amir or you and yeah Brad goes first you like really you would beat him up for sure Amir you deliver the final punch yeah you'll be a ghost it's come to this you deliver the final punch. Yeah. You'll be a ghost.

It's come to this. It's been 150 fucking episodes before somebody threatened me with physical violence. That can't be true. That's definitely not true. Well, Amir said he wants to kill me or that he wants me to die, but not by his hand.

Yeah. He finished, not by his hand. He would probably pay someone else to do it. Like who, Brad? Maybe. That's part of the job description. That would include anyone of the top brass of HeadGum paying Brad,

which has yet to happen, we should say. As in, he doesn't get paid for his job? No, well, he was texting me before I ghosted him that he hasn't had any pay stubs. He's only had pay snubs, which is like he sends in an invoice and he's also, like he was with me at the bouldering gym,

ghosted. That's good. I forgive you. No, that was funny. That's not what should have made that happen. When you come to Portland, stay with me. No, it's not either I don't go or I stay with your ass. My door is open to you.

I want to stay at the Ace Hotel. I want it to get pumped. Bye. Staying at the Ace Hotel if HeadGum will allow. That's a Bon Iver reference for all my male manipulators out there. Why are you coming to Portland? We're going gonna do a head gum podcast tour I mean let's fucking

announce it right now right it's not I thought we were doing 20 dates half the year half the year by northwest south by southeast and in Miami

we're doing I don't want to announce it too soon, and I'll bleep this all out if it's not true, but I think we're doing LA, Big Sur, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Bangor, Maine, Boston. We go all the way over to Bangor, Maine. It's sort of up the West Coast, cross country to the Northeast, down to Miami. The Seattle Bangor pipeline.

We make it to Miami, I want to say December. Oregon Trail style. Yeah, we're traveling by train. I'll come to Portland and Seattle. We're doing a series of one-offs in the middle of nowhere. So I think we're doing, what is it? Bethel, New York, Woodstock style.

We're doing Sugar and Falls, Ohio proper. Well, that's the home show. And then we're doing Wichita, back to Bangor, and then home again. Home being New York. Did I pitch on the podcast the idea that I had where I just thought we should rent a van,

like a full tour bus, and then just do live shows out of the tour bus and like parking lots. You did, and I think that's a really good idea. The issue is like, it has to be you, me, Amir, and then a fourth. Right? And then he's not going to want to do that.

You never know what's up with him. Vincent Castle is my Bond of the Week. He's a French actor. There's like a blockbuster movie that I saw a bunch of ads for in Paris. And he's the fucking star of the shit, right? And i don't know he looked kind of zaddy and i wonder if it's if we're ready for a french daddy in terms of bond so it would be like instead of you know with an electric guitar it would be an accordion accordion accordion that's where you play an accordion with your knee yes exactly Good one Joel

I said Joel help me out and he actually did immediately He saved that What do you guys got What do you want to Forget Bond of the Week let's just do plugs No I want to do Bond of the Week My Bond of the Week Is I'm just going to go Winnie the Pooh My Bond of the week is

I'm just gonna go Winnie the Pooh Bond to win the pants I'm just gonna go Winnie the Pooh I have a little Winnie the Pooh that's stuck to my mic arm So that's my Bond of it

I'm stuck between Lil Dicky and Donald Duck No pants Dave Bond I think I've actually said Dave Bird before We'll go Donald Duck then It's time for a Bond

That lives in a pond I don't think Bond is hung I don't think he swings that thing I think that You know what I mean He hasn't had a He hasn't fucked somebody more than once The entire fucking franchise

Until this last movie And then he died Which is obviously little dick energy Spoilers It's been out two years He dies in the last one And I think that's Little Dick energy. I don't think...

Little Dicky. I just feel like not to once again bring up Casino Royale's ball torture scene, but I feel like there must have been something to hit, right? I'm not saying he doesn't have a dick. I'm not saying he's a eunuch.

I'm saying his dick isn't thick. I'm saying that in that scene, he would have only been able to withstand that pain if he doesn't have a lot when he gets erect to gain. Right? Like not that many inches. I'm not saying it's not girthy. Maybe that's where the confusion's coming in.

I'm just saying that lengthwise, he's not hitting it's not girthy. Maybe that's where the confusion's coming in. I'm just saying that lengthwise, he's not hitting anybody's cervix. The fuck is wrong with you guys? I'm going to go with Marie Antoinette. Stop rubbing your mouth. The fuck is wrong with you guys? Milk. Lemonade.

Marie Antoinette. That's pretty good. As Bond. That's pretty good. Let Them Eat Cake, the remake. And do you think she was, I know that like historically she was talking about not even actual cake. She was talking about like bread. But what if she was talking about like, yeah, rimming?

Yeah. I mean, that's true. That's sort of an unlimited resource. Like there's no way society could ever run out of ass to eat. The number one export in France. Yeah, I don't know. All right. Should we re-examine our relationship with work? The number one export in France. Yeah, I don't know. All right.

Should we re-examine our relationship with work? Because I was actually reading this article about workism, right? Which is a predominantly American belief that work can provide everything that we have historically expected from, like, organized religion, right? Community, meaning, self-actualization, et cetera, versus Europeans. And I would know, cause I was just in gay Paris, that they don't really value work as much because they historically were like a working class, you know, under a monarchy. And, you know, they kind of shed their belief that they could ever be king a while back. And so now they are just sort of a unified working class that sort of protects the simple pleasures they have, right? Cigarettes, Ricard, right?

There's not much more to it than having Sundays off for sure. And a retirement age that should still be 62, but thanks to Macron's white ass, it's now 64. And I did partake in a protest. What about what I just said wasn't interesting enough to respond to? Come on! I came in with something kind of interesting to talk about. Brad's mic is muted. Right?

Joel's just smiling, which I do appreciate the smile. Because it makes me feel joy. Really. I thought I unmuted. Marika? I just don't know what you said. Yeah. In its entirety.

I actually think it's a great point, and I agree wholeheartedly. It sounds like what you're saying is we should go back to being really religious. And that's what you agree with wholeheartedly? It is Easter weekend, we should say. This is Good Friday. For those who celebrate, I do not. But I think it's going to be a good Friday.

But you think a lot of people should, and that they should get more into being devout. I think that we should be devout in protecting the ability to eat a two-hour lunch during the workday. Yeah, a power lunch. Raise your hand if you've ever girded your loins on Le Moyne. What? What do you mean, what? I thought that Amir would be on this episode. That's a very local Los Angeles reference.

Joel's in fucking, where are you, the Maldives? Marika's in, let's say it, and Brad's shitting all over Portland, not letting it stay weird. I was just in L.A. Not on the moin. If I had a local friend. Oh, you were staying with Marty?

I was staying with Marty. Very close to the street I'm talking about. I went to La Pharmacie du Vin. I love La Pharmacie du Vin. I'm a part member of their wine club. We could have gone together. Shut the fuck up. Let me ask you this.

You shut the fuck up. Joel, how you doing? I'm fine. I feel like I'm sort of in the middle of something now. I don't think so. I think it's kind of like a... So mad, right? Big cat energy. Like if you don't move, he'll ignore you sort of thing.

Like when a bee is trying to sting you? Scratching his tummy. The question was, raise your hand if you've ever girded your loins on LeMoyne. No one's raising their hand. You've never girded your loins on the street called LeMoyne in Echo Park? Oh, I actually did do that when I was there. Everybody's talking about this Trump indictment.

You know who I'd like to indict? Brad. For? It doesn't matter. Everybody's talking about this Trump indictment. You know who I'd like to indict? Brad. Four. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because you know what? He lands in LA and he gives himself up. He girds his loins. Gives himself up as I mean like he's, yeah, spread.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Is it something I said or done to make you guys just really? Yeah. Well. Can we get to the polarizing segments you have planned? Well, we have to take ad breaks before we do that.

Actually, I just canceled all the ads on the show. Yeah, you guys haven't been doing a good job selling this shit. I do great ad reads. You do do great ad reads. It's probably the best part of the show. I was actually thinking you are uniquely suited for this because so many brands are kind of about improving yourself.

It's only up. You can only go up. I sleep like shit. My personal relationships are bad. Here are some ways you can improve them. It feels really genuine. Maybe you're not good as a podcast host in the sense of the podcast being good, but the ads are truly believable and the ads are what gets us the cash. So that's ultimately what's important. It's a really good selling point. So as you become a worse host and a worse person, you're actually more monetizable for the company. That's legitimately how I'm going to sell

this show from now on. Yeah, I think you should. Yeah. How does it feel to make a brown man sad? You don't look sad. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day. Like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully

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health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. We're gonna fuck up some rides. Would you guys say that you've found your beach meaning like corona style like have you found what brings you peace and joy yeah oh the climbing is that it, that's not it.

That's one thing. You're in a loving, gainful relationship. Yeah, that. Spending time with friends, music, playing music with friends, animals. Spending time with animals. Reality TV. No, not so much.

Really? Because this next segment you're not going to get then. Great. Marika, have you found your beach? Yeah, it's probably like sitting in a theater watching a play or a musical. Joel? My beach is Domino Park. Domino Park is great. With a burrito and a picnic blanket

I thought you were going to say my beach is this dell yeah have you guys seen Milf Manor? Yeah. No. Well, I'm going to... Definitely not. Never heard of it. Let's throw to a clip here.

This is Milf Manor on TLC. Cheers. Cheers. Ha-ha. Salud. Oh, hey, guys. I got a text. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. Welcome to the villa, Lisa, guys. I got a text. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. All right. Welcome to the villa, Lisa and Ryan. We have an activity plan that is sure to get you well acquainted with the other moms and sons. Guys always think they know what you want in the bedroom. Facts. But do they really? Truth is, if anyone knows about sex, it's us, ladies. You have the age, wisdom, and experience.

And now we are giving you the opportunity to share that carnal knowledge with your sons. Oh, my God. Carnal knowledge. So that is basically what the show is. It's these MILFs, right? And then their sons dating the other milfs and vice versa um and so i thought we could play milf manor but instead of mothers i'd like to fuck it's marika i'd like to fire right so me br Brad, and Joel are going to be the young studs.

And Marika, you're the MILF, but MILF stands for Marika I'd like to fire. So the three of us are going to basically try and spit game at you, but it's all how we would let you go without severance. Does that make sense? Without severance specifically? Of course not. Why would you get a severance package? That's what makes the knowledge carnal,

is the fact there's no severance. Let's start with Joel. Joel, you're a young stud on a Mexico beach. You sidle up to Marika, and you have to break the news that she's no longer employed at HeadGum. What do you say? Wait, what?

As these so-called young studs that are on a beach, I guess, are you also my boss? Or are you just telling me you overheard from Marika? It's MILF Manor. MILF standing for Marika I'd Like to Fire. Joel is Joel at HeadGum. I am me. That's a 1099. Brad is Brad at HeadGum. I am me. That's a 1099. Brad is Brad at HeadGum, right?

But we are the young... You all heard from the higher-ups. The C-suite made the choice. And we just, for some reason, have to deliver the news at Studs on a Beach. On a Beach. Got it. Why am I on the beach?

You could be at home for all I care. The issue is it's milk manna. I'll stay home. Okay. Joel, why don't you deliver the news? How would you? Marika, can I buy you a pina colada? I don't know how that would work.

So I'm at home. Unless you could, like, deliver a pina colada to my house. I thought you were coming to the office today, and the office is the beach. The office is the beach? News to me. Well, that actually was your office, but I'm sorry to say that we're going to need to let this birdie fly away. Spread your wings and fly, Marika Ditch this shithole and, uh Find something better

Wow What? Who? Who are you pointing to? You don't have any response? You just got fired Yeah, but it was kind of confusing No severance. Now it's clear. Now it's clear. Sapony?

Thin. Okay. That was great, Joel. Especially where you tried to soften it by giving it this wing metaphor and then said, oh yeah, by the way, no severance. Cutting her off mid-sentence too.

Marika, if you were one of the MILFs at MILF Manor, but MILF stands for Marika I'd Like to Fire, how are you taking it from Joel there? How are you taking that news? I think I would be ultimately a little confused because the metaphor was a little rough at first it was kind of just like this this little birdie needs to spread its wings but it wasn't clear the birdie was and then once he said and by the way no severance then it was. I think I wouldn't handle it well.

But, you know, I'd probably ask for confirmation from somewhere else. Yeah. All right, Brad? Okay. Hey, Marika, I'm on a beach. How's it going? That's really fun. Yeah, I'm going to conference you in with Marty. Jeff, I'm on a beach. How's it going? That's really fun.

Yeah, I'm going to conference you in with Marty. Jeff, you play Marty. Okay. Here's Marty. Guys, you have no idea. F***. Let me... F***. F***.

F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***.

F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. F***. The call dropped. The call dropped with Marty. Sorry, Marika. Anyway. He wanted me to let you know that you're fired and there's no severance. Yeah. But I am sending you a pina colada in the mail. Oh, thank you.

It should be there next week. FedEx tracking is updating. It's just saying pending. So it might be melted. Yeah, it for sure will be. But I appreciate the sentiment. Technically, you're severance. Severance is the melted pina colada.

Joel says hi, by the way. He's on the beach, too. Do you want to talk to Joel? No. What I have to say is that somehow Brad's was worse than Joel's. And Joel went on about wings for half of the call. Marika, what did you think about Brad's attempt? I thought Brad's attempt was fine.

I thought it was a good idea to loop in Marty. I just think that Marty was caught at a bad moment. And it didn't reflect well upon him. Okay. But, and compared to Joel's, which one would you have rather been told that you're shit can without severance?

I think Brad's because I think, like, ultimately, that would, that would give me some leverage. Yeah. Alright, well I guess it's my turn. Hello? Marika?

Hi. Hey, it's Jeff. Yeah, I know. Anywho, I'm on a beach. Great. Are you surfing? I'm surfing the web to find articles. On the beach.

About... On the beach physically, but the subject that the articles are on is how to let someone go with grace that seems like a good step for you i feel like you need some sorts of guidance when it comes to just like communicating with people openly so you're gone sorry you're shit canned without severance what were you saying i was talking about how you're bad at communicating with people um no exit package and i am listening but no exit package um you're listening to what what you're saying about i get that i need i need to communicate better and yeah right but it is It is because of your performance and personality. Does that make sense?

No. Bottom line. Bottom line. No. I don't think she's fired. You didn't. Yeah. I said your shit can't. Yeah, but that could mean anything.

I think you have to say... You're motherfucking fired. How did mine go this bad? I had all morning to think about how I was going to do this. Say Fini. All right, which between the three did you like? Like, if you're going to get fired, which one would you want it to be? Keep in mind you've known me the longest, so it would be the longest.

Right, but I don't want you to fire me. Yours didn't even have Joel in it. Yeah, that's true. I gotta go with Brad. What? I just think it was like a good type of chaos that at the end of the day, I could probably come away from that meeting and be like, was I actually fired?

And then just show up to work again and then people don't have the heart to tell you twice. All right, well. Yeah. That's the end of MILF Manor the way I spun it. Who do you think would make the best contestant on the TV version of the show? Had a head gum? I don't know.

Probably you. Oh no. Oh god. Welcome to Spanked or Raw. Go on. Can we just take a minute to look at the gradient that I did in the background here? Does that ring true to your guys' asses? There's something wrong with his thumb.

Yeah. Well, forget the thumb. I mean, the background's supposed to be about red and cheeks. Pink and white gradient rings true to all of our asses? Is the question that you're asking. Honestly, yeah. I think the tone is somewhere in there. The name of the game is Spanked or Raw.

Do you guys want to guess what this is? No. Brad? I'm guessing that we're going to have to listen to sound bites of someone either getting spanked or having unprotected sex that's maybe

better than what I came up with well Joel any guesses Brad was wrong an image of a Tuchus that's either untouched or just that's also more fun or just has been walloped already. I love that word. I thought of this game

as I was walking the hallowed halls of Lelouvre. And that's not a joke. I am going to show you guys photos of ten celebrities. And you have to tell me whether you think they were spanked as children or if they weren't, which is what I call raw.

So like Brad, were you... You thought of this in one of the most famous art museums. Correct. Okay. Brad, were you spanked as a kid? Yeah, I was. Okay, so Marika, were you spanked as a kid? Yeah, I was. Okay, Marika, were you spanked as a kid? Yeah.

Joel, are you spanked as a kid? No. Okay, so Joel is raw. Joel is someone I would call raw. We got the definition. I'm just trying to make shit clear, all right? Which for some people is also the onus of spanking. Were you spanked as a kid?

I think like twice. Do you want to talk about it? Not really. Okay. Have you guys seen Oliver? I'm going to see the musical. Oliver what? I thought you meant Piles' son. Alright. Let's just play Spanked or Raw. Oliver? I'm going to see the musical.

I thought you meant Piles' son. Alright, let's just play Spanked or Raw. Here we go. Spanked or Raw? Raw. He's got a raw energy. Why is that? Because he's just so joy?

The light in his eyes would be gone. Exactly. Like mine and Marika's. because of this he's just so joy he's the light of his eyes would be gone exactly like mine like mine and marika's i really wanted brad's response to be like spanked as a kid hell i'm still spanked when i go home for christmas laugh right it's fine to have joy this is a fun light-hearted segment about child abuse yeah i don't I don't go home for Christmas. Spanked or raw? Spanked.

He's older. Yeah, he's from an older generation. I think spanking him would hurt your own hand. That's what I was going to say. Child? Did you guys see those photos of this guy when he was like 14 he looks like a fucking 50 year old i was born with a rock hard ass that's why they call him the rock women don't want rock hard abs they want rock hard ass his dad was a hard ass

i honestly feel like if joel had said, you guys would have cracked the fuck up. It's just that you guys have this weird vendetta against everything I say. It's not weird. Spanked or raw? Who is that? Rob Thomas? Billy Ray Cyrus.

Billy Ray Cyrus. No way. Wait, is it really? Yes. Yeah. That was Dave Grohl. Spanked. He had something far worse than spanked.

He was held in a well for a year. Spanked. He had something far worse than spanked. No, America. Dave Grohl. He was held in a well for a year. Forget spanking. He was definitely spanked. Well, I'm going to take my ass to the old town road. I'm going to get spanked by my own dad. It's kind of funny that the biggest song of the last century was made by Billy Ray Cyrus.

I think Gangnam Style sold more. He was on the remix, Joel. He didn't make it. Just to be clear. Yeah, it was Lil Nas X. Spanked or raw? Oh, spanked. Spanked, for sure.

And he's still getting spanked. I'm with Joel. Still getting spanked by Fetty Wap. But no, I think he should have been spanked. I don't think he getting spanked. I think he should have been. I'm with Joel. Still getting spanked by Fetty Wap. But no, I think he should have been spanked. I don't think he got spanked and I think that that's why he had the confidence to run for office and the confidence to have the show, honestly.

I agree that he should have been spanked. And if you look at the sound wave length of the episode, you'll see that every time I say something, there's like a three second pause where y'all either don't know what to say or don't care to respond. Spanked or raw. Who's that?

Gwyneth Paltrow. I want to say This is hard because she's a nepo baby, right? Yeah, and she was famous from a young age going to Hollywood parties. I'm going to say raw. Her parents weren't present enough to spank her.

They weren't around. Eventually she had to wait for someone. There's no ding ding ding when we get it right. Oh, this is all subjective. It's not a game. It's also like, I want to think that Blythe Danner hit her child, you know? You want to think that?

I said I don't want to think that. Oh, okay. What database, Joel, would I have found the data on whether or not they got spanked? It's all subjective. It's all guesstimating. I mean, you texted me in pile asking if we could get into the mainframe and get that information for you the mainframe spanked or raw?

spanked I don't like looking at the queen I think spanked look at how there's not a lot of life behind her eyes definitely not a lot of life behind her eyes well this was only she is dead yeah spanked or raw? Definitely not a lot of life behind her eyes. Well, this was only... She is dead.

Yeah. Spanked or raw? Who's that? Charlie Munger. He's like one of the richest guys ever, and he's like 98, and doesn't spend his money. Spanked and definitely wearing a diaper in that photo.

Yeah, I'll agree. Yeah, holy shit. Charlie needs a change. And judging by the look on his face, it might be full. He loves it. He's proud of his diaper. So you think not only spanked as a

kid, but also diapered as a kid and adult. Yeah. Yeah. Spanked or raw? Raw. Raw, right? But spanked as an adult, maybe. I think he pays.

I think. Let me finish. I think he's into something weird, but it might not be spanking. What do you think it is? Professional cuddling? Where, you know, you kind of pay somebody to cuddle you? It could be the new fetish I heard about this week.

Which is? The new. New to me, I should say. It's fin-dom plus chin-dom. So you're getting extorted financially By your dentist And also they mess up your jawline Zach Efron was into that, right? Yeah

That was fucked up Spanked or raw? Who is that? That's the situation Oh, yeah, probably spanked Spanked or raw? Who is that? That's the situation. Oh. Yeah, probably spanked. Spanked.

Spanked. Yep. That was the most unanimous one so far. Spanked or raw? Who's that? Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast. I don't think so. I mean, I think he has the confidence of someone who's never been sort of...

I don't think he's been spanked. Should have been, though. Bent over someone's knee, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good segment. It's interesting. We were pretty aligned. I think that's not the only interesting thing that we learned from this segment.

We learned that Brad sort of had his cheeks reddened as a child. This is the kind of stuff I would have learned if we'd gone climbing, Brad. Yeah, I actually had a really good time at the climbing gym in LA too. It was nice. I met some people, hung out for a while, got some good food recommendations. Me too. And then I walked from the studio to Amoeba Records.

Stopped at a couple parks. It was a nice day. Got a cool rare record at Amoeba. I'd never been there. Brad, do you want to buy my speakers? I have speakers. Mine are better. I guarantee it. Audio engine A5+. Built-in Bluetooth capabilities. RCA input. AUX input.

AUX input? Sorry? That's a selling point? I don't fucking care. I i'm trying to sell a bunch of shit i'm trying to sell why why why are you trying to sell stuff i don't know i need cash i want to put some money into my fucking high yield savings account joel knows what i'm talking about and i want to make sure that i don't have a lot of clutter right why do i need three rugs in a bedroom one is fine that's a good question three rugs in a bedroom? One is fine. That's a good question. Three rugs in one room.

Well, so. Damn. They're like the layered style. Yeah. What else am I trying to sell? I'm trying to sell my tape deck. My Nakamichi 480. I'm trying to sell my Grateful Dead tape collection

because I never listen to them. I'm trying to sell my moped. How long have you had it? The moped? I've had it for like a year. I actually was supposed to sell it today but the guy didn't show. He ghosted you?

Sorry, I said he ghosted you? I heard you. Do you think I have this show so that people can come on here and say whatever the fuck they want to me? I have this show, so I sit on a throne, right? We should make you a throne for the live shows. The live shows, so you're confirming a tour.

You're confirming a tour. I'm not. I'm saying for all future live shows. Big Sur, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, over to Bangor, down the coast, Boston, New York, Philly, D.C., Charleston, Charleston, Charleston. We're doing a residency there

for a year. And then we're going to go down to Miami. That's going to be the daddy themed episode, right? So it's only going to be daddies on the show. So it's going to be me, Brad, Joel, Marika. Can we fly Joel out to Portland? Can we fly Brad out to portland i got a throne guy in bangor what you on a first date you brought a throne to the restaurant oh this yeah i have a throne guy in bangor

i gotta go to the bathroom. Can you watch the throne while I'm gone? That was good. Yeah, I agree. I was just trying to think of a kink-related joke. PG. As in Paris Jeff. I bought this ring across the street from Jim Morrison's last residence on Boutreus Street.

Oh, did you go visit his grave? No, Père Lachaise was closed by the time I got my A's over there. Sucks. Not really, because I had a cigarette and french fries with a bottle of wine. And did I mention a Cronenberg, a Pelfroth, and a... Oh yeah! Hot chocolate in the French fashion. I had the best whipped cream I've ever had in my entire life, and I came on a velvet sofa.

What's French for French fries? Des frites? Pommes frites. Pommes frites, but nobody calls them pommes frites on menus. They call them des frites. Fries, right? When you're at a fucking... They wouldn't call themommes frites but nobody calls them pommes frites on menus they call them des frites, fries when you're at a fucking gastropub no they would you're not ordering

you wouldn't just say frites sure you would do you take French? I literally grew up speaking French really? in Gay Paris? no in eastern canada you would have known this about montreal that's what you would have talked about if we'd gone climbing and now i'm glad i didn't go i don't

want to hear about your childhood unless it's about honestly getting spanked uh plugs what do you guys got going on what do you want to point the people to let's skip marika because i feel like brad and joel the only ones who ever have projects going on. Let's say I'm going to plug the newest HeadGum podcast, Exploration Live. They were great, the live show in New York. I've listened to about four of their episodes in the last week. Everyone should check them out.

You can follow me on Instagram, at JoelMannDunoff. The account is private, so again, it will be accepted on a case-by-case basis, but by all means, shoot your shot. So don't plug it! So don't plug it in front of 30,000 people. They can shoot their shot, and we'll see what happens. Still waiting for that follow-back from Joel. Why are you waiting on that?

Why aren't you sure it's never going to happen? Gosh. Guy can hope. Marika? I thought you were skipping me. Well, you said you had a project. When did I say that? Well, you said it with your eyes when I said you didn't have any projects.

Yeah, when I pulled out my phone to look at it. Follow me at Marika Alon on Twitter, Instagram, and Letterboxd. I really want to get those Letterboxd follows up. Listen to the pit wall. Listen to the pit wall. That's all. And at Jeffrey James on Instagram. We'll see you guys again next week.

What do you mean what the fuck? Don't skip Brad. He's used to skipping Brad. That's true. I'm sorry. That's true. Yeah. I'm sorry. I am sorry. Believe it when I feel it.

I was going to text you that I was sorry, but then I was like, I saw that you were on this episode on the calendar and I thought it'd be funny to see what your reaction would be if I didn't mention it at all until we came on the show. But instead it was just kind of you earnestly being sad, which is worse. Being Brad.

See, I keep feeling bad, and then you say shit like that, and I'm just like, this is Brad. Follow me on Instagram at Brad the Human. And go watch Hive Mind. It's like this show. Everyone goes to Jeff. Oh, actually, I do have something to plug.

This comes out April 14th. On April 17th. That's my wife's birthday. Wow. Happy birthday, Mrs. What is it? The human? At Brad the human.

Is that your last name? The human? Yeah. Moret the human. Moret the human. Everyone wish her happy birthday in the comments And now back to whatever Jeff has to say Go ahead

Monday night April 17th Tune into The Neighborhood on CBS It's my television debut Whoa Yay Wow Wow Let's get the fuck out of here and enjoy our weekends that's dog That was a Hiddem Original.