The Headgum Podcast - 150: Jarred Joy

Episode Date: April 21, 2023

Amir, Marika, Allie, and Brad join Geoff to discuss Jar Jar Binks, checking up on friends, and Geoff's upcoming album. Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. And from this point on, let's be civil, right? Sure. Great, yeah. Marika Brownlee on the sacks, on the hacky sacks, right? I wish I were good at hacky sack. I'm not particularly

great. I feel like you That's something we could bring back. We have the rooftop at the office actually. Let's get some sacks for the office. I've been thinking I really I want to I would like to play some summer sport health health allowing,

but I was really into Ultimate Frisbee in high school. I want to bring that back. That's cool. That first sip feeling. That's how I'm feeling today. Have you guys seen this? I don't think so. It's printed on Starbucks cups.

Yes, I've seen that. That first sip feeling. It says, let us add a little joy to your day. So I think that some marketing person at Starbucks listens to the show! listens to the show everybody everybody let's get into it get started

let's get it started let's get it started in here that Friday feeling though for real chicken's legs are so spindly Jeff's? and Jeff's sorry oh are so spindly. Jeffs?

And Jeffs. Sorry. Oh. That's for the Patreon. Blurred for this one, but we're going to start it off. No free foot content. Are you guys feeling that Friday feeling?

You didn't answer the question. A little bit, yeah. Yeah, big time. Now I am. Big time. Yeah. Brad, you've been coming in with a certain joy. Do you want to speak to that?

Just in a good mood. For now. For now. For now? I think we're going to either sour it or enhance it. Let's keep things going. Let's keep things going. Let's keep things going.

Let's keep things going. Uh, let's keep things going. Some, uh, in bond news, the casting office working on the new James, uh, films said that it's not going to be a, uh, well, first of all, they've only been saying it's going to be a guy. So, uh, they're saying it's not going to be a guy in his twenties. Cause they don't have that gravitas.

Uh, so I don't know like brad you're in your 30s i'm not what do you guys think let's go ali and then marika who do you guys think has more gravitas between you and brad yeah oh okay um i'm gonna go brad for sure because you're kind of wearing heart-shaped glasses right now and that to me isn't really gravitas. I've got a hole in my jacket, which is kind of humble. That's humble. It begs the question, like, where has he been?

What has he been up to? And you know what they say about having a hole in your jacket. It's better to have a hole in your jacket It's better to have a It's better to have a hole in your jacket Than a jacket in your Hole? Closet Makes more sense

No, it's better to have a jacket in your closet Than to have a hole-ridden coat No You just wanted to catch Marika saying No, I wanted to catch her outside with a jacket on. Well, my Bond of the Week was gonna be Brad, but I'm gonna make it, maybe take it back now.

Take it back now, y'all. Too Brad this time. That wasn't me getting the number wrong. That was me saying peace and love. My Bond of the Week is Ringo Starr. That's cool. My Bond of the Week, Ringo Starr. That's cool. My Bond of the Week I gotta give it to Joe Allen because like

give him a job, you know what I mean? It's a rough week for him. You want him to be Bond because he's an unemployed actor. He's not an unemployed actor. There's been a lot of tweets and discussion going on

post breakup with taylor swift like that he's just never gonna work again uh which i don't believe and so why don't we give him you know why don't we give him bond well and also in this acting gig economy maybe he is unemployed right now ally'sie's reading from note cards. She's scripted this episode. This is so fucked up. Chicken is feeding her lines. Yeah. We should also say, I mean, the audio listeners haven't heard his ass, but the visual listeners have seen his ass or lack thereof.

Amir's been setting up for nine minutes. He owns a podcast company, and it takes him that long. We're in, baby. There he is. Brad, who's your Bond of the Week? Did you say? I did not. I'm going to go with Steven Yeun.

That's pretty good. Allie, who do you got? What? You had more? Didn't they? I was going to elaborate. Didn't they? Then go ahead.

It's fine. No, no. No. Yeah. I look like I'm hungover, but I didn't. I got dinner last night. That's not like a hungover thing. It's kind of funny.

Didn't they also say that not only is it going to probably be someone in their 30s, but it's someone unknown? Relatively unknown. Relatively. My Bond of the Week is Jeff in five years. I can do the accent, yeah The name is

James Bond Jeffrey James Bond Yeah, she's saying that you're Still gonna be relatively unknown in five years So, kind of an insult too Really, I thought it was sort of McConaughey style where it's like My hero is myself in five years.

That's good. Just, I think a way to just self-diagnose narcissism. That speech made me laugh. I think about that probably quarterly. That's a good amount of time. That's like 25 more times than I have Amir is doing his taxes it seems Freddie Freeman

alright let's move on a French court approved Macron's unpopular plan to raise the retirement age in France thoughts? oh yeah how was France? we talked about it last week We talked about it last week.

We talked about it last week so we don't have to keep going on and dragging on. I was asking you as a friend. Oh. It was awesome, yeah. I sort of appreciate the French culture in terms of sitting on a patio, really, and like indulging in like a beef bourguignon

for drunch. Yeah. Yeah. So heavy for brunch. That's the thing. In France, they have a heavy lunch, right? Because you might take a two-hour, sorry, but you might take a two-hour lunch, which is kind of unheard of.

For us, we go to, what, Tacos Delta just to make it fast and cheap, versus in France, they'll spend 80 dollars or sorry euro on their own lunch yeah it's fun visiting a country that isn't dominated by capitalism like people just take long vacations stores are closed in the afternoon they're not

supremely just motivated by maximizing cash until they die if anything they're I'm sorry to say Brad, but they're about maximizing gash. I had some of the best sex of my life in France. And that was directed

at me. Why? I was apologizing sort of as like a trigger warning to you because I didn't want to offend.

You've been on the show a lot less than the other three so they're just kind of used to it in terms of gash. Okay. And you've been on the show a lot less than the other three, so they're just kind of used to it in terms of cash. Okay. Appreciate that.

While I was in Paris, I actually ended up at a Macron protest. But it wasn't because I necessarily care about the pension age in France, but it was because I was walking in the same general direction. Right. So it felt like I was joining the stream of sea turtles in finding Nemo. What is the age? They bumped it up from 62 to 64,

which I think is fine. Yeah, I disagree. I don't think it's fine. Well, it's not ideal, but it's, you fine well it's not ideal but it's you know it's not like 62 to 70 right like you can do 24 more months don't you have to be 65 to get a senior discount at the movie theater here so in america yeah

yeah so that's what i'm saying ahead of schedule. Exactly right. Also, life expectancy continues to go up. So, I don't know. It's like adjusting for inflation. Marika, what do you got? Life expectancy is going up? Is it not? I don't know if that's true. Really?

I thought it was cut by like a quarter. It was like three years down, right? I don't know at this point. We should all, yeah. Yeah. NBA playoffs, what are we thinking, Amir? Suns versus Bucks, the rematch, NBA finals. Really?

That's my prediction. Western Conference finals, who do you have, though? Phoenix over Denver. Phoenix over Denver? That's not possible. That would be the semifinals. Let's go Suns over Warriors in sixth. Do you believe the Lakers can even win one series?

Yes. So you think they'reakers can even win one series? Yes. So you think they're going to fall to the Warriors? I mean, hopefully not, but yeah, I think that's the most likely scenario. Are you putting money on it? I put money on other teams to win. Are you going to see any games while they're playing in L.A.?

Am I going into the games, you mean? Yeah. No. Where do you think you might watch the games? Probably with a buddy. I said where. Oh, either at his house or mine or a sports bar or something. Why are you assuming it would be a man? What's that? Nothing.

Are you going to wear a jersey to support or purple and gold at all? Maybe a Lakers shirt. I don't have a Lakers jersey. Yeah. Maybe you bring some purple wine and that liquid gold. Oh, I see. Just as like a gift if you're going to go over to their house.

Amir, what do you think about Tristan Thompson going to the Lakers? I guess they needed one last big body to play third string center. I don't think he'll get that many minutes, but at least he has a high defensive IQ and some camaraderie with LeBron James. So at the very least, he'll be able to impart wisdom from the bench. And if he's playing, then things have either gone horribly right or wrong that game. And if he's playing, then things have either gone horribly right or wrong that game. It's cuffing season and Tristan is a Laker. He is a big boy.

He's a big boy. I need a big boy. Boy. Da da da da da da da da. Why? Marika, do you want to talk about jar joy for a minute uh i assume you're referring to the screenshot that you texted me at 2 a.m my time last night that was a restaurant slash ghost kitchen that I assume serves cake jars. Did you order

any? I didn't get any. I think you should. Yeah, maybe. Have you guys talked about Jeff's ring yet? Ring? No. Where'd you get it? I got it on

Rue Betray in the fourth arrondissement de Paris. It was actually across the street from Jim Morrison's last residence. Oh, we did talk about that last time. We did, but I edited it out because it was not interesting. So here we go again.

Did you go to that store looking for a ring or did you just like see a ring and you're like, oh, that could be kind of cool to wear that ring? The second one. I like it because it says PG on it, which I sort of turned into Paris Jeff. Paris Jeff, yeah.

Yeah, so when I put it on, I feel like I'm in Paris or should I say gapery? Which is another GP. Is it another all-time thing or are you like wear it if the outfit calls for it? Peri. Is it a, which is another GP. Is it another all time thing? Or are you like, wear it if the outfit calls for it? It's if the outfit calls for it.

It's if I'm in the mood to be gay, whether in Peri or not. And yeah. So do you take it off at night and put it on in the morning? Like a hat? If it can get off of my finger, which it depends if it's cold or hot in the room. Yeah, it looks kind of hot right now. Yeah, because it's hot. And if it's cold or hot in the room. It's hot right now.

Yeah, because it's hot. And if it's not hot, it almost falls off. So I don't know if it's the right size or what. Interesting. Can you slide it up and off right now or is it kind of tightly on there? Taking a look. He's sort of rotating. It's on there.

You can't get past the knuckle, right? I sent Marika this screenshot right of Jarjoy and not to be confused with Jardia this is what it looked like like not an appetizing

image not at all no it looks a little bit... It looks like nocturnal emissions. Let's just call it what it is. My question is also $13 for jar of joy. That's pretty steep. I wanted to know what your guys' jar of joy was.

Jar of joy? Jar of joy! Sorry, jar of joy. Not to be confused with charred soy. We'll get to that my jarred joy currently have you guys been on water talk like tiktoks about water

yeah it's this new thing I can't keep up with anybody younger than me at this point well I feel like they're not younger I feel like they're like younger i feel like they're like women in their 30s that are going around being like let's make my water for the day and it's they'll they'll fill this is this is just regular water in my stanley cup but they'll take the little

stanley cups and they'll pour packets of flavoring in there like three or four they'll they'll they'll pour sugar-free syrups i just saw one today that was a lady making a pink wedding cake water uh gross but if you're putting syrup in your flat water like you're not call it something else call it something don't call it jarring season And all the cake is in jars I need a jar joy I need a jar joy I need a jar joy Yeah so that's my jar joy Yeah so that's your jar joy

Allie what's your jar joy I haven't seen I haven't really been interacting With a lot of jars lately I haven't seen, I haven't really been interacting with a lot of jars lately. I don't, I don't know. I guess just, I've been making my own.

I don't know. That's fair. You don't need to have an answer. I guess just wanted to make it around Robin of sorts. I appreciate you asking and checking in. What about a favorite condiment

that comes in a jar? That's completely different than jar joy unless your jar joy is this condiment. So let's maybe not redirect the whole fucking round table

until everyone's gotten a chance. I was just giving I just keep thinking of jar joy jar jar banks. I was just giving... I just keep thinking of Jarjoy Jarjarbinks. Me too. Jarjoy Binks? Yeah.

Yeah, and I'm like, that's his sister. Jarjarbinks' sister is Jarjoy Binks. Oh, hello. Oh, who invited Jarjoy? With the E-D, Jard I also like to think of it as like a cake in a tin But on top of a roof So it's a Jarjoyle

Oh, God What, Brad? You don't even have an answer for your Jarjoy Last week I asked you if you had found your beach And you didn't have an answer for that either. Yes, I did. Really? You haven't asked me yet today

and I answered you last week. What's your jar of joy? I've been experimenting with pickling a lot. I pickled an avocado. Ew. How did that turn out? No, it's a real thing. It's actually pretty good.

On a sandwich. Pickled avocado? Is the consistency the same on a sandwich does it stay creamy my friends what are you i can't ask if a pickled avocado stays creamy my friend my friends part of it that makes it predatory i think how think. On a sandwich? Yeah, we got the sandwich part. For sure.

How are you putting it in the jar? How am I putting it in the jar? Is it going in slices? Is it halves? Oil? Is it cubes? Whole avocado. Cram it in there. Skin on? Get a bigger jar if you have to cram it in there. You gotta really mush it in there.

And then it's good on a sandwich. That part I get. There was never any question about that part. Yeah, put some seasoning in there. Yeah. On the sandwich, I mean. On the sandwich, yeah. What are you pickling the avocado with? Like, what's

your vinegar- vinegar spice combo? Great question. Well, distilled white. Okay. On a sandwich. That's what I wanted Walter White's daughter to be named. Distilled. That's actually Jar Jar Binks' sister's name.

Distilled White Binks. Binks. And yeah, she's kind of a minx. Speaking of, how do you guys stay sex ready? You didn't ask me about my jarred joy. You want to answer about my jarred joy about your jarred joy i had a pretty good answer so so say it that was your chance well i don't know if you were gonna move on entirely or we were done with the segment just don't worry about the structure. Just say it if you have one.

Langer's matzo ball soup gets delivered to you in a ball jar. Does it stay creamy, my friend? No, it does not stay creamy. It stays salty. There's a nice ball, some egg noodles, broth,

and that's it. That's a good answer. That is a really good answer, actually. It's a fantastic answer. Yeah. Are you okay? A ball jar? A ball jar.

Binks. A ball jar. Binks. How do you guys stay sex ready? Like how do you like you know Stay ready to just kind of be there Not only emotionally but physically Like how do you stay ready to sort of Swing that thing

Have liquid hips And like you know You also gotta make sure that your lips aren't chapped. And by that, I mean all four. According to SiliconValley.com, time flies when you're drinking good beer in San Jose. Thoughts? I've been to San Jose.

Why San Jose? I don't know. It just, that was the headline. Time flies when you're drinking good beer in San Jose. Did you like San Jose, Amir? I mean, it's nice. It's a fairly big Bay Area city. I wouldn't say it's super special.

And I don't really like beer, so I disagree with the headline. You know what? In my head, I was just confusing. Yeah, so we're just straight to commercial, I guess. We're moving on. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know,

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If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. That's why we've partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out all of the rice all of the rice ruin the rice in here, baby Extra charred, I want y'all to scald soy Burn up the rice in here, baby You know about grains, want you to drink poison sauce

Want you to char all of the grains Dark char, rice in jars All of the rice, all of the rice Until it's Benihana Where we are, all of the rice So If you want rice, you can spill Hoisin all over the sand

If you eat grains You will ruin the rest of your life. Something wrong. My stomach churns. I cooked the rice, but it didn't burn. I ate the rice. She called the feds. I did that time and ate that bread.

I'm just kidding. It wasn't bread. It was ancient grains Slathered in soy To my surprise Consistency of sand I had to take rice to that ghetto university Rice, white rice Brown rice, fried rice

Black rice, sticky rice All of the rice, all of the grains Jasmine, bomba Parboiled, long grain Almsbee, all of the rice Some rice in here, baby Extra soy Jasmine, bomba, parboiled, long grain, omsby, all of the rice. Some rice in here, baby. Extra soy.

I want you all to scald sand. Scoop up the char in rice, baby. You know about grains. Want you to hoys hoys in sauce and want you to char all of the grains. Ooh. Soy. I think the fascinating thing about the album that you're now putting together is that no album always has the same lyrics in different songs I loved that you couldn't find just a backing track and we could just hear the actual song in the background. And bars, by the way, bars.

Chars, yeah, chars. Chars. I want a feature on one of those. If you wouldn't mind letting me do a verse. No, that would be absolutely great. I mean, how much is it for a feature? Absolutely grain. I'll do it pro bono.

I'll do it pro rice. I'll do it pro Bono. We'll do a U2 parody. Which is free as long as you pay me as good as Bono. Do you guys have any notes? Not a one. I think you're really good. Really?

I love the... An impromptu performance. You're pretty on beat. Lyricism is classic. Yeah, you hit all the notes you hit the consistency of sand there was an

almsbee reference in there I believe ancient grains hoisin jar do you guys have any questions about the lyrics cause is there anything you couldn't hear I couldn't hear a lot of it let's hear it again let's get a reprise the whole thing or do you just want to hear me about the lyrics? Is there anything you couldn't hear? I couldn't hear a lot of it.

Let's hear it again. Let's get a reprise. Do you just want to hear me speak the lyrics? I do have a question about I liked the verse that listed all of the grains. I liked when you got to the all of the grains

or all of the rice part of the song but I felt like that wasn't repeated as the chorus in terms of all of the grains like all of the terms yeah all of the rice yeah all the grains and all of the rice okay well you're wrong. Sorry to be, like, aggressive, but it's actually rice. White rice, brown rice, fried rice, black rice, sticky rice. All of the rice. All of the grains. Jasmine, bomba, parboiled, long grain, omsby.

All of the rice. And then it's ruin some rice in here, baby. Extra soy, I want y'all to scald sand. Scoop up the charring rice, baby. You know about grains, want you to house hoisin sauce, want you to char all of the grains. I also, I feel

like all of ending that with all of the grains instead of all of the rice. What was the choice behind that? It's, the first one also ended with all of the grains. So that's like a... Right, but the lyrics of the regular song

are all of the lights. All of the rice, all of the grains. Sometimes dissonance is a good thing. Yeah. Are you wanting more assonance in the consonants? Or is the dissonance not resonance with your ass? What's your stance on the resonance? The dissonance doesn't resonate.

Okay. But maybe in time it will. I thought it was perfect. You have no notes from Brad. Allie, you said that you were just happy that it's back. It's been so long since... No notes. It's been so long since something new has happened to me,

and this was new. Can we just speak through these lyrics, and then I'll see if you guys have any last-minute notes? I would love to hear. It's all of the rice, all of the rice, rice, rice,

all of the rice, ruin the rice in here, baby. Extra chart. I want y'all to scald soy, burn up the rice in here, baby. You know about grains.

Want you to drink poison sauce. Want you to char all of the grains, dark char rice and jars, all of the rice, all of the rice until it's Benny Hanna, where we are, all of the rice, all of the rice, until it's Benihana where we are, all of the rice. Soy. If you want rice,

you can spill hoisin all over the sand. Yeah. Right. That doesn't make sense. Sorry. That's the one that stuck out to me. What do you mean? What's wrong with that?

Hoisin sauce is like a thick plum sauce, right? So you spill that on sand. That's not even close. If you want rice, you can that hoisin sauce is like a thick plum sauce right so you spill that on sand that's not even close if you want rice you can spill hoisin on the sand that's nothing i think that line would kind of like flow better if yeah because the actual line is if you want it you could get it for the rest of your life something like you could get it for the rest of your rice something like that ending it with rice if you want rice. Something like that. Ending it with rice. If you want rice, you can spill hoisin all over the sand. That's better.

Yeah. It's the same. Did he change anything? It's also not what I said, but cool. If you eat grains, you can ruin the rest of your life. Of your rice. If you want grains, you will ruin the rest of your life. If you want grains, you will ruin the rest of your life.

Something wrong. My stomach churns. I cooked the rice, but it didn't burn. I ate the rice. She called the feds. I did that time and ate that bread. I'm just kidding. It wasn't bread. It was ancient grains. I do love in a song where they're like, just kidding.

It was ancient grains slathered in soy. To my surprise, consistency of sand. I had to take rice to that ghetto university. Yeah, that part kind of didn't flow. Rice, white rice, brown rice, fried rice, black rice, sticky rice all of the rice, all of the grains that was the best part I agree

jasmine, bomba, parboiled, long grain, almsby, all of the rice I have a question about that list bomba isn't that like a peanut snack? I believe it's like... I believe it's... It's like that yellow rice. Bomba? Oh.

Bomba rice? Yeah. Oh, I see. I see it as a type. I guess a paella rice? Yeah, that kind of thing. Saffron. Exactly right, yeah. Ruin some rice in here, baby. Extra soy. I want y'all to... I guess a paella rice yeah that kind of thing saffron exactly right yeah

ruin some rice in here baby extra soy I want y'all to so I need to do these back to back so you can hear the differences the first one is ruin some rice in here baby

extra charred I want y'all to scald soy burn up the rice in here baby you know about grains want you to drink hoisin sauce want you to char all of the grains

second one is ruin some rice in here baby extra soy i want y'all to scald soy scoop up the char in rice baby you know about grains wants you to house hoisin sauce want you to char all of the grains i i do think it's interesting that in your list of rice, it's all kinds of rice except for parboiled and almsby. Yeah, and also a restaurant that doesn't exist anymore, right? All right, all right, all right.

I'm starting to get sensitive because you guys are having notes. Also, I feel, was a lyric earlier in the song, rice and jar? Dark jar, rice and jars. So I feel like we should start a business called rice and jars and it's mason jars of rice. Yeah. Bowls. Okay. In a jar.

So, and we could call it, what was it? Rice and jar. Jarred joy. Jarred joy. Or maybe it was. Jarred Joy. Jarred Joy. Or maybe it was... Jarred Soy. It was Jarred Joy. Joy Soy or Joy Soy.

Joy Soy by the Soy Boys. Because it's a bunch of liberal cucks. But it's Jarred. What's that? It's Jarred. I'm trying to put together a fucking album. All right? The last thing I need to be worrying about is a business venture separate from all of that unless it's going to be a marketing like pop-up are you saying it's a

virtual brand like when uh fucking what's his name uh another wing dj calla yeah it's that i'm in but i don't want to do any work for it that's going to be a marketing play on your ass what i have to focus on is the lyrics the beats the mastering the mixing and recording in that room. Yeah. We have to move on. According to CNBC, you shouldn't ask, how are you? You should ask these eight questions instead. So this was an article released by CNBC this morning, and I wanted to ask y'all these eight questions and see what your response was.

So basically the article argues that you shouldn't just ask people, how are you? Because nobody ever gives a real answer to that. But they might give a real answer to these. Let's start with the first one. How are you really? That's just the follow-up question. Is that a follow-up? Or can we go straight to the first one? Hey, how are you really? That's just the follow-up question. Is that a follow-up

or can we go straight to the first one? Hey, how are you really? That's the first one. It's, hey, how are you really? I'm really fine. Really.

That's fine. Brad? You're asking me how I am really? How are you really? Is that what your shirt says actually? Yeah. Hi, how are you really? How are you really? Is that what your shirt says, actually? Yeah.

Hi, how are you? Really. Really. Yeah, really. I think I would answer that the same way that I would answer how are you, which is fine. Marika, how are you really? Fine.

Allie, How are you? You're really? How? How are you really? I'd be like, really? You want to know? All right. That one was sort of a flop.

Maybe CNBC should have ran it by the editors one last time. Here's the second one. These are real, by the way. I didn't make these up. This is from last time. Here's the second one. These are real, by the way. I didn't make these up. This is from the article. This is the second one. How are you doing right now? They're telling you in this article that you're supposed to ask these in

succession. No, I think they're all alts. Oh, okay. How are you doing right now fine Brad how are you doing right now also fine man how are you doing right now

fine Amir how are you doing right now how are we not CNBC yeah it's funny it's I like this it's fun to be here I'm happy here's the third one what's been on your mind lately that's like such a jump yeah it's getting a little better what's been on your mind lately anyone Brad's shirt is basically these questions

that's funny scroll down hi how are you oh nevermind I've been thinking a lot he's being carried into outer space i float away i'm cutting that out that exchange wasn't funny what the fuck is wrong with you sorry how are you and i'm not sorry i cannot sleep i cannot be tonight i cannot sleep i cannot burn the rice hey don't burn your rice it's hoisin inside the char

just for next a little teaser for next week I guess That was really good Don't waste your rice on soy I'm charred ready The joy inside my jar How are rice And I'm so soy Etc What's been on your mind lately

Do you guys want to pass There's a couple more that we have to get to. Is there anything on your mind lately? Yeah, actually. I'm not at liberty to talk about it on this forum. Understood. I guess use like vague

sort of references to it so that when it does happen or become public We'll be like oh that's what he was alluding to I had a Big professional opportunity happen yesterday And I'm really hoping that I By the time this episode comes out there's some news around that He's gonna fucking be

Bond It's time for a James Brond That's Brown Bond Actually that could be funny James Brown as Bond So it's like Get up

And the bad guy is like When do you think you'll hear about the Huge opportunity I think in the next week. These things move fast. So like acting, writing, directing, which genre of creativity are we talking? Poetry, poesy, heresy.

You're up for a heresy job? If you were being completely honest with me, how would you describe your feelings lately? Yes. These are just different ways of saying, how are you? Totally probing. What's feeling good?

And what's feeling hard? That's what she said. Nice. Nice. That's kind of inappropriate. Alright, that's what I meant. Oh, sorry. Are you still sick, Jeff? No, I wouldn't say I'm sick today.

I'm still a little congested, but not sick. You had like a cold or something? I had a non-COVID flu game. And you think it's not COVID because you tested once, tested every day, or just didn't feel like it was COVID? I tested once, twice, three times, no COVID. That's a Commodores reference the last time we talked you were dealing with insert problem

how has that been lately so I tailored these to y'all Marika the last time we talked you were dealing with not getting in to see every Broadway musical ever how has that been lately? You know, it's rough, but I'm powering through.

Allie, last time we talked, you were dealing with Matters of the Heart. How's that been feeling lately? Better, thank you. Brad, last time we talked, you were dealing with me ghosting your ass. How has that been lately? I mean, I haven't forgiven you, if that's what you're asking.

Amira, last time we talked, you were dealing with COVID-induced erectile dysfunction. How has that been lately? Not hard, right? Nice. Plugs! Let's get to our weekend. What do you guys have going on?

What do you want to point the people towards? Let's start with Allie. We're going to have our next LA-based HeadGum Happy Hour show on May 11th at the Dynasty Typewriter, which is very exciting. And besides that, you can follow me on Instagram at Ellie Kahn

and at Letterboxd and Twitter and my Venmo. Buy my sandwich. That sounds good. Has anybody sent you any cash on Venmo? Yeah, enough to buy a sandwich. From this show?

Is that legal? I want to know the legality of that. Could I just solicit cash? Yeah, sure. I don't know. You guys said it was okay, so I kind of just did it. Why would that be illegal?

Bradler? Brad the Human on Instagram and also Venmo. Amir? Ali Khan on Venmo. Ali Dash Khan? What are we thinking? Yeah that's k-a-h-a-n let's see if we can get ali 250 dollars this how's that for a sandwich if every listener of this show venmo'd you a dollar actually you would be you'd be able to buy the richest person in this fucking Zoom by a lot. Are you okay?

You should be the richest one. Exactly. Right. Compounding interests. Of course. Yeah. I've had the most time to amass wealth and it's amassed to nothing. It's amassed to nothing? Yeah. I said I started

with a mountain and made it a molehill i basically put my entire net worth and my whole amir russi into a high risk low reward stock portfolio i did not diversify Your honor I invested in dog pile mail Before they went IPO Or should I say IPO

I peed out My cash Out of my ash I'll be taller otherwise I don't know what's wrong with me. Marika. Marika. Venmo Allie.

And follow me at Marika Ilan on Instagram, Twitter, and Letterboxd. All right. And listen to the pitfall. Listen to the shitfall. Wow. That was a Hiddem original.