The Headgum Podcast - 152: Oops All Producers

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

The LA studio is chock full o' producers as they host and Geoff and runs the boards. Plus, the show's engineer, Grace Harper, makes her Headgum Podcast debut! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Why don't you be Faizan? Faizan. Okay. These are good names. The same way I was negative right at the top of the last one, I'm going to be positive. These are good names. That's like half the battle. Okay. Thank you. That's good. I'm already feeling more confident about this one.

Are we allowed to improv or? Let's do one pass without and then that'll be the only pass we do. Okay. Cool. All right. And places and action. Should we move houses pays on the last thing i said to you is that nope hello yeah

good this has never happened before oops all producer Was that the first edit of that song or the second? Was that the first edit of that song or the second? Amir. What? Help me out. I don't understand the question. The original version of that song. Sure.

Oh, and not the remix. Oh, I understand the question. Casey, you're like inching out of frame here. Yeah. Well, and not the remix. Oh, I understand the question. And? Casey, you're like inching out of frame here. Yeah. So Jeffrey's in charge of the cameras. Do you want me to get up and adjust the camera? No, just like if you could turn your body towards everyone. Usually if I'm sitting over there, I would adjust the camera.

So you want me to sit? No, I'll do what you did. This is like some sort of wacky Wednesday where Jeff is producing a show. I say we start early. Yeah. Oh yeah, we started. Don't move it. Okay, you know what? I'll do it. Yeah.

Right off the bat. You look great. No, I mean, listen. I don't want to be rude to anyone here because everyone here works hard on the show except for Amir. But, you know, there's been obvious slaps in judgment, slaps in time. And I figured I might as well just take over the reins of producing. the show except for Amir but uh you know there's been obvious laps and judgments laps and time and uh I figured I might as well just take over the reins of producing got it um and then get

all three of the producers which we were only going to get two but now we have all three so this is perfect um in the room on the zoom to kind of I don't know maybe create more sympathy for each other right to see for y'all to see how hard it is to be taking the reins of hosting. And for me to see how, I mean, maybe hard it is to produce, but I don't know. I feel like I can live edit. Like, look at that. That was so easy. It's like something.

What's that? Couples counselor. I pressed the wrong button. I went to like the four shot when I meant to do. Yeah. So get it on me. And then I can even shoot it onto me. Right.

Because there I am. Yeah. Are you back to a mirror what's that i was gonna say this is like something a couples counselor told you to do like to understand the other person's plight yeah yeah so like now you're you're gonna be more sympathetic towards the engineers and producers that make the show hopefully sure and hopefully vice versa right well mean, I host a show every week and produce it and do all the editing of it. And I also do that on a number of other shows. You both have many hats. I'm not learning much here. And you wear many hats.

Yeah, I'm hoping Jeff will learn a thing or two today. Oh, interesting. I hope Jeff puts on a hat today. Yeah. And is it because you guys are guests on the show a lot? Is that what you're saying? I can't even see Casey. Yeah, you can move over a little bit.

Yeah. Yeah, you got it. Yeah. Sorry, who should introduce everybody? Because I feel like you're still the host, right? Yeah, are you the host or are you just engineering? Well, we should introduce Grace Harper at Chorals Borkley to the show. All the way from down under.

And yeah, so Grace, do you want to tell us a little bit about what you do on the show? You're basically the new Ferris. Sure. How did that come about? How did what come about? How did Grace become your de facto engineer slash editor? Well, you didn't even have a chance to speak. I said sure.

That's all you care to say? Yeah, that's a compliment. He's a hard worker, nice guy. Jeff is? No. Ferris is. I took over because I'm pointing at him. Jeff is? No. Yeah. Ferris is. I took over. Jeff is? No. Yeah. No, I don't know.

We had Ferris and then he, I think, quit. And then... Did Ferris train you? For... To do this job? No. So how did you... No, because then...

Sorry. Yeah. Then Grayson Wise took over. Okay. Right? From Grayson to Grace yeah did Grayson talk to you?

are you asking me or are you asking Grace? because you're looking at me and then at the very end you look at Grace ask Grace another question at your behest is that kind of difficult for conversation? is that what you're saying? I don't know how does that look for camera

not good, you guys are at the opposite ends of frame like i almost have to go back to the fourth shot and that's a little bit better yeah are you for sure recording uh on both uh yes okay yeah it looks like video is recording but i can't speak for audio audio is oh oh no it is really reaction we're good um well we should okay, so let's just lay out what everybody does on the fucking show. Well, from my perspective, I got an email

from Katie probably saying, and you're probably circled in on it, saying, would you like to, I have a Zoom with you. Definitely.

That's right. Yeah. Saying what I like to work on the show, but I'd already be working on other shows. On different shows. Sorry, one second. This is actually the,

this might be the most recent show I've taken on. That's true. And then how did you reach out to us? Well, it's most recent show I've taken on. That's true. And then how did you reach out to us? Well, it's funny because Grace was working on a group. With what? You emailed Katie out of the blue. You applied for a freelance job. I applied for

an engineer job in December 2021. Wow. Height of the pandemic. And you were at the UK. Tail end. Everybody vaccinated by then. Everybody was vaccinated. Yeah.

Pre-Omicron maybe. Yeah. During Omicron. I think of Omicron, but that's fine. You were still in the UK. Yeah. And you were like, I can move places or I can do it remotely. And were you wondering if, yeah, you were still in the UK?

No, I was applying for the job to be here or the New York studio. It seems sort of non-specific. Yeah. And then I had three rounds of interviews. Wow. And then didn't get the job. But was told we'd like to keep you on as a freelancer, as I've been freelancing since. That's who we are.

What other shows have you worked on besides the HeadGum podcast? I work on Maisel Goys oh wow um when it returned well when it returns tbd grace cut that out that's okay oh yeah i can cut that i can cut out anything um girls on porn sitcom dnd this show andnovation. And is the process for this show, is it more unique than the other shows? Does it stand out to you? No. Or does it just feel like another podcast? It is slightly different in that

because Jeff has already mixed everything to video, I have to lock all the audio in time. I can't sort of adjust. And would you say the emails that you get from Jeff are at a normal business hour, kind of frantically sent in the middle of the night, but maybe that's fine because it's sort of London time. I feel like this is usually where a producer

steps in and just says, like, let's keep things on track. Let's keep things joyful. The producer says that? Yeah, just whoever's on the boards. The issue I have more with Jeff's communication is that it's like... Yeah, no, because I wanted to talk about Jeff's communication. Yeah, and I wanted to talk about, yeah, anything else. Rare, like fleeting. Yes, exactly. What about this? Jeff's community. Yeah, and I wanted to talk about, yeah, anything else. Like fleeting. Yes, exactly.

What about this? He's available and then he's unavailable. Yeah. Right, like where did he go? He has a smartphone. And we're seeing on the screen right now that Anya and Casey aren't even trying to get a word in edgewise. Well, I think they want your curious slash interesting as well. Yeah, this is between you guys.

We're kind of staying out of it. Although, I have a question. Yeah. Wasn't one of your interviews with Amir? Yeah. Was it with me and Jake? Yeah. Wow, cool.

So how was that? Good. It happened. So I had an interview with Katie, and then a week later I had an interview with Mike. Kamate. Yeah. Great.

Who was leaving and was very candid. Yeah. He was on one foot out the door. Oh, he was straight up like ask me about salary i'll tell you yeah um that's why we had to fire my where's my camera whoa our cans just got louder jeffrey was that you i i i i i i i do your fucking job i i i we're not on a ship man it's so messed up.

No, no, no. I have to sort of be forceful with Jeff sometimes. So Amir heard people talking about salary at the company. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm a freelancer. Sorry. How much did the commentator say he made?

Because he's a fucking lying son of a bitch. I want to know what Amir was like in the interview. In the Zoom room. Fine. So it happened the next day. Asked and answered. Honestly, that's the nicest thing you could say if you think about it. Because usually it's like nasty stuff over Zoom.

So fine is considered like flying colors. He was momentarily mean to me, but I did deserve it. And I don't wish... I can't believe I'm hearing this for the first time. I used to listen to If I Were You. And now, don't we all? Yes, we all. You were sort of ahead of the curve.

You sort of cancelled us before we cancelled ourselves. I knew the pain was coming and I was like, I'll quit this. And was my reaction sort of over-the-top jokey anger? Or did you actually feel like I had ire towards you because you used to listen to the show but you don't anymore? Well, I thought, I don't mean to butt in here because that's not really a producer's job. But you were saying that you felt like if you were not in the Zoom but in the room that you would have felt physically in danger. I wouldn't do that by the way. Do what?

I wouldn't have said that much stuff. Okay, so you're saying I'm pretty smart. Yeah, but I also... Or as a friend. Well, we should also say that you guys are, like, missing tons of opportunities to, like, interrupt their conversation, like, force your agenda through, like,

press buttons for sound bites. You're not live editing. You're live, like, giving notes. Like, I would have hit one of those. I would have done, like, I don't know, word of the week. We already said head gum. That was the day.

That was the word of the day. We don't have... We keep leading Grace to answers, and the day. That was the word of the day. We don't have. We keep leading Grace to answers and then we never hear what the answers are. Like the communication with Jeff, we never really heard about that. What I said about you not listening to the If I Were You anymore, we didn't

hear about that either. And why do you think that is? Because you sort of interrupt, derail, sidetrack the entire conversation. I can tell you exactly how you reacted, and I'd like to know what you think of your reaction. Okay. I'll grade my reaction.

You put your thumb over your camera so you could no longer see me. So you're like, I don't listen to the show anymore, and then I put my thumb over the camera? Yeah. That's like a Shakespearean insult. Shakespeare hated Zoom, famously. I thought Grace was going to say you were going to stick your thumb up or down and that's how you were going to hire her. I thought Grace was going to give a thumbs up or thumbs down.

I can't quite hear what you're saying, man. I think Jeff was just saying what I just said. Yeah, but I'm about to edit this right after. So I was going to maybe... Because I kind of noticed that Casey said that. I was like, that's kind of funny. So why don't I say it on my camera and then I can choose later who I want to have said that to.

So Grace is responsible for that, I think, right? That's true. For the video version, it's all on him. But for the audio only, the podcast version... Interesting. I'll do whatever I want. Carp launch access. Yeah. So tell me again about the communication style you're saying you hear from jeff a lot and then he disappears vanishes for days no no i rarely hear from him i hear from him once a week if that with the episode files sometimes two or three weeks will

lapse with nothing nothing but oh okay in oh, okay, in Jeff's defense, you like that? Crazy. Before I say what I'm going to say, just take the compliment. The thing I like about Jeff, if there was a thing, it would be that

when he doesn't, it's not like that the episode doesn't go up. Like, he could send everything to you and make his life easier. Instead, he stays up all night editing himself because he forgot to send everything to you and make his life easier. Instead, he stays up all night editing himself

because he forgot to send it to you in time. So he's suffering the most. Got it. Yeah. Which I think is nice. It is. It's very strange and admirable. Sacrificial martyrdom. Even this episode for real. It's a Wednesday and this is going

up on Friday. Oh, yeah, yeah for, but like also, it's a Wednesday and this is going up on Friday. Yeah. And cause also, uh, like deprives me of money. Right. He's taking money out of your pocket. Well,

not necessarily. Right. Because like, you're going to edit the assembly files after this. But what, those beliefs that you don't send it to Grace, that is money that you're taking from her pocket and putting into yours. Interesting. Interesting.

Should we take a break? It's only been 13 minutes. putting into yours. Interesting. Interesting. Should we take a break? It's only been 13 minutes. We have a ton of stuff to get to that we haven't

even touched yet because we've been like in this weird dumbass setup and I don't even know like because I'm trying to get a word in. Casey hasn't said Jack other than like

fixing the camera. I think I had a pretty funny joke. Oh yeah, the joke of like me giving a thumbs up. Right, but they'll be seeing they'll be only seeing me saying that. Yeah, it'll be good for TikTok or whatever.

I feel like I never noticed how low these arms are. And these are very high. Strange being on this side. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what the whole thing is about, right? Because I have this camera staring at me. This is what the whole thing is about? Is it about us testing out the chairs?

We're sort of auditing the room. We're doing a producer's audit and a host audit in a way, but it's very low key. What was that? Somebody was leaving or coming. Oh, yeah, we should also say construction's happening as we speak. Specifically on this room.

The studio's outer walls. There will be a hole being made in this wall. Are you kidding me? At some point, a drill should be coming through the wall. In some way, Jeff. Somewhere near your heart. It's in me. Yeah, we're just

going to have to put the wire through your heart. I mean, we've got to get it in here somehow. Bond of the Week. Who do you guys got? My pick is Matthew McFadden. That's a good one. So is the audio deafeningly loud by the time you get it,

or does Jeff sort of adjust that before you? No, absolutely not. It's 100%. That loud? Yeah, it's 100%. He has it up at 100. Oh, hold on a second. Yeah, because I might boost the level sometimes. So that's not necessarily the sound effects fault.

Just that we're really quiet, and then the sound effects were so loud i wonder if that's something that you do in post or if that's a grace response bond of the week the bum drop one is also really loud yeah how do How do you figure? It's all loud. How do you figure? Yeah, but then it's usually followed by a clap, you know, which I think is usually fine. Yeah, the claps are kind of like...

The claps are fine. Yeah. Also, which one... Some of the other ones are all right. Like, um... I will eat your ass! It's not too loud. My Bond of the Week is Pasta

This Bostonian hockey player That was eliminated recently So he has plenty of free time on his hand I think his name is something Pasternak or something But Pasta is his name Why would you bring it up? It's a hard week for me Amir's making it worse

He's a bruiser and an abuser. I think I'll go with... He doesn't have teeth. It's hard. I never know who's been said. It's hard to edit the show when everybody's so slow when they're talking.

I don't know who's been said in this segment that's been going on for a year at least. Overlapping dialogue. I'm doing it right now so that we don't have to edit it faster later

My pick for Bond of the Week is Matthew McConaughey That's pretty good Two Matthews Two Matthews, that's nice Two Matthew Mcs, actually Oh, interesting Yeah, and I don't think you can say the second word Matthew Mc...

Farnacle Is there another famous? Matthew Modine McModine Yeah Matt McDonald um I bought it the week McModeen yeah Matt McDonald like am I supposed to stay calm when you guys are spewing shit

that I know I'm gonna have to cut out later yeah I also wanna say he gets mad when I don't talk and then when you do he gets mad when I talk it's ridiculous it's ridiculous

I didn't know about I didn't realize that was where this lurk came from until right now. I was just saying they have the same last name. I'm going to get fired. Am I going to get fired? I think we're all learning together. I think no one should be scared until I get fired.

What slur? What slur are you talking about? A derogatory term for an Irish person, I think. Oh, Mick? Is that from the last name? It must be from the last name? Isn't that a show? It must be from the last name. I think, yeah, because there's a lot of Micks.

Well, it's sort of like shrill. You know, like you wouldn't actually say that about somebody. Yeah. And if you did, you'd be a bad person. But it's a great show name. Shrill? What's that? Nothing.

Mine is Aram, our contractor who scheduled this construction at the same time as the HeadGum podcast. That's pretty good. I'm sure he did not know that we were recording the HeadGum podcast. He is a big fan. While he was putting a hole in the wall of the studio. I'm sure of that. Do you guys think that when contractors make a hole in the wall and, you know, they maybe like dress up like a pirate and they're like, a hole. Sorry. No.

You should cut that out. I didn't get it. Well, Casey, do you mind if you could you say it so that it sounds like you made this stupid joke? Just mouth it and he'll put his voice in. When you think, when you guys think a contractor puts a hole in the wall, do they

dress up like a pirate and go, a-hoil! Why does he work in the network? That came dress up like a pirate and go, a hole! Why does he work in the network? That came out of nowhere. That's really funny. And that way I can edit it together like that. Sorry. Anya? I already said mine. Did you? I just said it. It sounded like you were

trying to say something else, so I was giving you the floor. Right. I had something. It's fine. were trying to say something else. So I was giving you the floor. Right. I had some. It's fine. My Bond of the Week is Austin Powers. That's pretty good. I like that. I just rewatched that, Grace.

Which one? The first one. Is it good? It holds up. I heard you like wrote it in four or five days or something. That also tracks. Yeah. Do you guys ever have like panic attacks where it feels like you're about to have a heart attack?

You're like Googling like the actual symptoms of like pre-heart attack, right? Like chest pain on your left side if you're, you know, prone to that kind of thing. Yeah. I also think we should give Austin Powers an emotional send-off. Like kill the character off? Because I don't think

you can, I don't think they can bring him back. Oh, I think. I have to disagree and say that there must be one on the way I know but I'm saying like they shouldn't

they should make a serious movie where he dies I like that like Austin Powers Skyfall yeah

it's kind of like a full circle moment have you guys ever had a moment a memory no he's got his It's kind of like a full circle moment Have you guys ever had a mermaid moment? A mermaid? No He's got his ass Got his ass

A mermaid moment What did he say? Fucking little mermaid Ariel over here Dye your hair red And walk down the street Shirtless at first. Carrying a fish.

She has a seashell bra. Oh, yeah. Put on a seashell bra. Bra. Pantsless. She wears gills. Really? She wears them?

She has them. She wears them. I was just going to say say have you guys ever had a moment in surgery where you maybe saw the other side I did have a medical procedure where I could see my insides whoa while you were awake take a break That's the most interesting thing I've ever said on the show. The fuck? Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1,

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What? Say the interesting bullshit. It was a surgery where she saw her insides. It wasn't surgery. It was a endoscopy. Oh, I see. It was through a camera. Why were they showing it to you? I would want to see.

That's most CTV. Well, it's because in the UK they have CCTV everywhere. Yeah. I feel like whatever is on the screen would only be interesting to the doctor and me. The person with the camera inside of them. That goes through your mouth, right? Yeah, but they did also put it up the other and me. Yeah, we don't have to go wide with it. That goes through your mouth, right?

Yeah, but they did also put it up the other end, too. Wow. Gotta see what's up there. Not much! Yay! What a flan, what a flan, what a... What was that? Did you just start to introduce a segment

and then bail on it? Casey, have you ever had a colonoscopy? No. Probably should get one. Probably should get one. Amir? Bummer. Also no, but yeah, getting to that age,

I think in your 40s you're supposed to start getting them. You guys both in your 40s? No, I got a few years. That was after drinking a few beers. Yeah. Stop me if this is too personal, but have any of you guys ever had an abnormal pap? Jeff. I'm just trying to get to the bottom of shit.

Do boys have pap? No, that's the worst part. He's just talking to us. That's why it's inappropriate. That's true. Oh. talking to us. That's why it's inappropriate. That's true.

There's no way. There's no way. When was the last time you guys had to dress black tie? Fuck off. I don't think I ever had maybe a wedding. Like a hardcore black tie dress code. Crisp shirt. Would you do bolo? I'd do b December. Like a hardcore black tie dress code. I don't think I've ever been. Crisp shirt.

Would you do bolo? I'd do bolo. Of course you'd do bolo. That's breaking all kinds of societal norms in terms of evening wear, in terms of... I'm a disruptor. Yeah, you and the rest of Silver Lake. No, no. What if it was the other version? That would be really bad

I did right before we started recording this I ran out of the studio Because I saw a friend of mine walking down the street who looks like me. So we could say hi and talk about it. Bring him in. I think he's gone now. That would have been cool.

Has he ever been here? He's never been here. No. What's that, Jeff? Can you say that sentence again? Because you had a little bit of a lip smack. And it's going to be tough. Which sentence? The one you just said about seeing your friend. Lip smack? I've never heard you care about that. So just if you could like, from the moment

you saw somebody who looked like you. Full segments of garbage and then you're picking this nit. Okay, I'll try and recreate the magic. I also cut these out. You cut out lip smacks? Yeah. What is that even? Someone who goes like that? No, it's like when somebody goes like that. What is that even? Like when somebody goes like that? No, it's like when somebody goes like that

Why is that bad? That noise Yeah, it just goes through I don't know I don't know why you guys think I'm bad But I deal with it Casey, whenever you're ready You're a human lip smack

Aren't there usually like games? We have discussion points later Not necessarily a game. I just don't think you need to take it. We haven't gotten anything that I outlined. I don't want you to do it unless you want to. It's fine. I'll do it again.

I'm glad we're getting it clean. Right before we started recording, I saw a friend of mine walking outside. And I ran outside to say hi. And we looked very similar. Almost the same outfit, actually. Why don't you bring him out? Is that real? Do I need to do it again?

Sorry, yeah. I am really sorry about that. Can you do that again? I'm sure this mic did not pick up that sneeze. I just, I think, I mean, just so we have it. All right. So right before we started recording, I saw my friend walking by the window, and I ran outside to so we have it. All right. So right before we started recording, I saw my friend walking by the window,

and I ran outside to say hi to him. And we actually look very similar, very similar outfits on. Now everyone looks mad that I'm doing this, but I'm just trying to make the best show possible. Jeff's on his phone. Jeff is on his phone. What was that?

It was TikTok. I just, I thought it was on mute. I think we got it there. Okay, great. I might even just use the original. Frankenstein it.

Well, it might be easier to get the lip smack out than to try and Frankenstein anything. I just don't want to have to hear that again. Just so people are getting a little smarter in terms of post-production,

can you sort of explain what Frankensteining means? I don't know if that's the best use of our time. We only have like 20 more minutes. Frankensteining would be like, I don't know if people know the concept of ADR, which they call automated dialogue replacement, which is not even true. because it's not automated. You have to match.

It's additional. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. So it's not actually, it doesn't stand for automated. It sounds like. No. Yeah. It doesn't stand for automated. That was a test.

Grace didn't say anything, which is kind of interesting because she is sort of our post supervisor on this show, an audio engineer for The Road Slash Ages. Did you call after your friend? Yeah, I called after him. I ran outside. We heard it. Oh, that's nice.

I said, Morgan. He's never been here. He just like walks by. I mean, yeah, he's never, I don't think he's ever been in the studio, but he did just direct a feature film featuring some head gum talent. Mike Mitchell, John Gabrus oh yes

I remember you talking about yeah those guys being in your friends movie yeah and that was a friend that I saw outside the window get him in here I wonder where he was headed okay well he was wearing a WGA sure I think he was either on his way to or from picketing. Finally, a normal fucking segue. Let's talk about the WGA strike, right? How does that affect what we do here and vice versa? Oh, I think business is going to be booming. It's good for us.

Because now all these comedians, they're not writing, they're going to come here. Amazon's got extra cash. And they're going to be speaking unscripted words. Exactly. So we're not necessarily part of that union. We're not scabs. We're just giving people a secondary revenue stream, which is honestly better than protesting, I want to say.

I think the studio should be scared. Yes, of us. The charts are like this. Exactly. Sick. Is that nice? Did you just start playing Pink Floyd? Yeah, so this is like what I imagined

like, I don't know yesterday morning was Cohen walking in with sunglasses to the tune of this song snapping in a leather jacket Yeah, yeah Right? And up from the cowboy boots up to his mouth

Dick out by accident Yes Well, that's good. I didn't think about that. Hopefully, hopefully I can see some of that fucking cash. But yeah.

Anyway, the whole fucking industry is grinding to a halt. Yeah. And I guess there are other unions that might follow suit. Yeah, and I guess the DGA

might follow suit. That'll be interesting. What's interesting about it... We're pro-union. No, 100%. As a network. But there's no podcast union. You guys haven't really tried to move the needle there in any way.

Would you like to? You're looking at the whole company right here. So let's fucking figure this out. Should we unionize right now in front of Amir? Is that crazy? Let's start the election. Can you join? I'm legally a producer.

I think Amir can join, but Marty can't. Oh, that's great. So we would sue Marty or some shit. Yeah, that's what unions do. What do you think a fair hourly rate for a producer would be? I don't know, 40... 40?

40 F? He just said 40... 40 fucking Franks. 40 F? He just said 40... 40 fucking Franks? 40 freaking Frankfurters frosted in a pie. A pie, yeah. That was not alliteration. I think probably base rate

would be like $150. Base, base, base for sure. An hour, yeah. Yeah, and all your base are belong to us. I mean, how much do we pay you, Grace? Base. I'm here. I'm more employee solidarity. Let's An hour, yeah. Yeah, and all your base are belong to us. I mean, how much do we pay you, Grace? Base. I'm here.

I'm more employee solidarity. Let's hear it, Grace. I'm legally allowed to ask. Just got a pay raise two days ago. To what? Say it specifically. It might be higher than Jeff, so if you want to...

Are you willing and able to hear the number without getting too offended? What if it's less? I'm going to feel worse. Yeah. So you want it to be equal or more? If I don't say what I make in comparison to what she makes, it'll less? I'm going to feel worse. Yeah. So you want it to be equal or more? If I don't say what I

make in comparison to what she makes, it'll be because I get more. I'm going to just quickly zoom Katie. Yeah, let's do this. Oh, because she might not want that number out there. Yeah. And we can... How much does Katie make? Katie, I think she's making, what, $160? That's salary base? That's salary base. Before bonuses?

Before boo-ah. How do you know, Jeff, what Katie is making? Oh, employee solidarity. I get drinks with people just to know. He's got a spreadsheet that he makes up. Just so I can get mad at people. Well, Katie's making $189,000. Oh, she just got a raise.

It's gone up since the last time I looked. Is Marty still here? Parental leave, but I can't get a fucking leave? I think Marty left. Yeah, Marty left, which is actually part of the... Grace, what are you getting, 55 an hour? You don't have to answer that. You don't have to answer that.

Grace, I can answer that because I know it's not 55 an hour. You get paid in American cash and it gets sort of translated over. Does it end up being 40 euros an hour? Translated over, yeah. How does that work with the exchange rate? And when was the last time you considered maybe making a purchase that was outside your budget? Jeff, usually

if I could give you a note as a producer, usually you let the people on the couch kind of do the talking mostly. And if we want to hear from you, we'll throw to you. Exactly. Alright, so do you want to try that for throw to you you guys did a good job of that you're in the room and you're additive

but you're not necessarily looking to interject you're not looking forward to this is what we're talking about it honestly feels like you're talking more now than ever before like if you were on that chair you'd be talking a lot less not having the lights on him is like he's sweating.

Which, again, it's usually the opposite. Yeah, it's hot in the darkness. Let's hear from Grace. What was the question? How much money do you make an hour? We sort of moved past that, and now you keep dragging us back in. Question, what about at other networks? Oh, do you freelance for other networks?

iHeartRadio is 50 an hour according to Dan. That was two years ago. So if you're looking at 5% iHeartRadio? iHeart when you shut the fuck up. Not a single beat. What a plan.

What a plan. What a Are you singing that or is that part of the soundboard? Let's either talk about Grace's salary or the fucking strike. Then the second one. Yes.

Yeah. So what should we be getting over the next couple of years? $426 million instead of $87? Yeah, I don't know the exact numbers. It's actually $429 versus $86. Why did you say the other ones though? Because I fucked it up. Because I fucked it all up.

All right. Are you in the WGA? Live switching with each side. Because I fucked it all up. All right. Everybody. Everybody. What a plant.

I am in the WGA. You are? Yes Did you pick it yesterday? No, because I was really sad yesterday Do they know you're in the WGA? Are you really in the WGA? Yeah And you're here instead?

What am I supposed to do? There's not a picket happening right now There was one this morning I slept through the bitch There's a meeting tonight at 7 Why would I go to the shrine? Right? Why would I go to the shrine auditorium

To hang out with a bunch of nerds? Alright? David Young, by the way, was on the fucking negotiating committee and he flaked out. Really? Yeah. What does that mean? I think he got scared. He got scared so he left? Should we call him? You can call him. I don't want to call him.

I haven't talked to him in like a year and a half. Right. We can get him on Zoom. Oh, really? He's not going to join Zoom. He has family and kids and he probably is on the negotiating committee. He's never done this show. I tried to invite him like two years ago. We've called him once. Did we call him? Should I call him? We've seen what it looks like when you try to get someone

on the show. Who else do we know in the WGA? I have a friend, Morgan. Actually, right before we started rolling, I saw my friend, Morgan. I don't know, Weiger. Weiger's on it. Weiger is on it. But he's probably doing something

kind of related to that today. Is it fair to... Because we did this 24-hour live stream, right? Where I did the Doughboys technically. And then on the Doughboys subreddit, they were like, this was a bad episode. I'm like, yeah, because it wasn't a real episode. I'd love to redeem myself.

Oh, maybe. I mean, it's not really up to us. Yeah, like we kind of have nothing to do with that. Yeah, I mean, I only work on the show every week, but maybe I could talk to somebody. It's only like 50% of my plate, but I don't know. But if it was a bad episode, I don't see them wanting to run it back, if that makes sense.

Yeah, I think that's where we're kind of running into a head. Yeah. It was so bad. Are you getting invites? To have a meeting? In terms of, yeah. About this? No, it's just,

it comes up a lot when I talk to Emma and Nick and Mitch that they're like, please do not let Jeff anywhere near the show. They say that more than once. I feel like that's something

that you can only say once. Well, Casey kind of is a friend so he keeps bringing it up every week at our meetings with them. Yeah, I'm trying to look out. What do they say? You bring it up every week, they don't finally be i'm trying to look out what do they say you bring it up every week they don't finally be like that's enough we get it yeah they're well they're like any talent that we could get on the show and then they look at me and say casey don't say jeff again right they're like we'd rather not have a show that

week yeah they yeah they do actually say they would rather cancel the show oh my gosh then have you gonna pull it from head gum yeah if we ask again and then amir the show. Oh my gosh. They're going to pull it from HeadGum, if we ask again. And then Amiri, are you saying, oh my gosh, yuck, because that's like foul, because I am talent? No, because you've poisoned the well so much so that you're having one of our biggest shows threaten to leave.

But I think they liked being on your stream. I don't think so. I think we all almost went into cardiac arrest. Grace, in terms of if you don't want to go hourly, just say how much you usually make in a week and then how many hours you usually work per week. With the exchange rate,

I submit my invoices in dollars and then I get paid in pounds. So it varies. Does it fluctuate? Do you get paid in pounds. So it varies. Does it fluctuate? Do you get paid more or less? It depends on if the exchange rate gets stronger. But generally it's about like 80%. It fluctuates around 80% of whatever

the dollar amount I've submitted. Right now the dollar is a dollar to UK 80 cents. Yeah, we're weaker than the UK. Pound sterling. That's bad for us. One quid. Yeah, things aren't going great over here. Yeah. I have no idea what's going

on anymore. We shouldn't have left. I found out that France was right because of this podcast. Really? Well, we should talk about if we think France is going to make it. As a country? Yeah, just... It's not a line from Succession. And isn't that the response that he said really I think that's exactly what he says

that is exactly right wow so almost like AI can write if we were AI Succession writers right here you should do an all AI episode oh a chat GPT we did a segment called chat Jeff PT

where it was yeah how come none of us know about it Oh a chat Jeff PT We did a segment called chat Jeff PT Must have missed that episode Yeah how come none of us know about it Cause you guys don't listen to the show 8th grade Is it 50 an hour Just go on to the next fucking segment 8th grade history testing Is plunging to below average levels

I heard about that. Yeah. So the New York. It turns out Jeff and I listen to the same NPR program. Just one of us retains the information. Can you pass this eighth grade history quiz? Ask the New York Times. Here we go.

Let's. Grace, this is your first time on the show. So let's single you out here. And also or you can tell us how much you make an hour and then I'll switch it over to Casey. I'm happy to tell you. Wait, oh really? How much? You're not happy to tell me. That's so fucked up. It was

but two days ago. I'll take that. Business is booming. No, because now I have a negotiating tactic. Jeff makes 17. I make 17 negotiating tactic. Jeff makes 17. What's the tactic? I make 17 an hour. Here are five questions of medium difficulty from the eighth grade U.S. history test given by the federal government.

We're swinging it over to Anya for some reason. Here we go. Because I listen to NPR. Never mind. Let's go to Casey. Thank you. What were European explorers such as Henry Hudson? This is going to be too easy for you.

That's why we have to swing it to Casey because it's about Hudson. You broadcast in Hudson, New York, we should say. Yeah, I'm broadcasting in Hudson, New York right now. Named after Henry Hudson. Yeah. Casey, what were European explorers such as Henry Hudson looking for when they sailed the coast and rivers of North America in the 1600s? A, a water trade route to Asia Keep going

B. A land route To South America C. Land to use For sugar plantations Or D. Religious freedom Much like most of my Tests I took in 8th grade I kind of spaced out while you were giving the information to me.

So I'm gonna say... Can I help you cheat? Uh, trade routes. They're looking for trade routes. To what continent? South America or Asia? Um... Not that I think about it.

Yeah, not that I'm thinking about it. I actually can't stop thinking of my buddy Morgan Dressing like my ass I don't know what Anya Fair Oaks That was Casey Looking at stuff on my phone That was that tap result you were asking for I wanted to look it up to be really sure

You're cheating Now that I've thought about it, it's definitely the Asia. Correct! That's absolutely right, and that was only because Anya billed you up. God, he was fucking way off. Can you believe that my doctor sent me a message about that? Unbelievable. There's no way.

It's weird that your doctor was talking about that question. Yeah. I guess he's also an 8th grade or something. My 8th grade doctor. Doctor's 14. My eighth grade doctor. Your doctor's four teeth. My Anya Kenofsky. My eighth grade doctor. It's like a misguided attempt at a children's book to be like,

you can be whatever you want, but it just leads to kids practicing medicine on each other. My eighth grade OBGYN. Such a bummer. So you obviously know why we called you it. Every pap is abnormal when you're 13 and oily. Oh, God. Grace, which of the following is a right guaranteed by the Bill of Rights of the United States of Constitution?

Yeah, you can phone a fiend. Did you have to learn about American history in Europe? Like we let to learn about European history. Not really. Not about governmental laws. Well, sometimes. No, I don't know what they were teaching. What school did you go to?

Milliken? Let's see if you got the answer. You had to learn American history. Sorry, no. Let's get into this for a second. Didn't you tell a story once that there's like a photo of you on the wall at your high school of like famous alumni we should say because you confided in me

when we were at South by once that you you were drunk and you told me this that you put that up there so let's go back to Greg this is true from soup to nuts what's the name of your high school the name is Milken there's also a public school named Milliken,

which is a separate school. There's a picture of me there, if there is. At the public school? No, at the school that I went to. It's like class. All right, let's go. Which of the following is guaranteed on the Bill of Rights? Right to public education?

Right to healthcare? Yeah. Right to trial by a jury right to vote which one is or isn't is oh the right to vote no you know i don't know but the others not health care the correct answer is right to trial by jury yeah of your peers yeah we love to litigate in this country well let me challenge you on that for a second uh let me uh no go ahead it was a litigation that was a litigation oh um the following passage is taken from a proclamation signed by president george washington i think

it's how you say it uh 17 Who's trying to answer this one? He's from Hamilton. George Washington is from Hamilton, and Hamilton's from Washington. How weird is that? That's not true. Well, it's interesting nonetheless. What's the question? The question is,

the following passage is taken from a proclamation signed by President George Washington in 1793. It appears that a state of war exists between austria prussia sardinia great britain and the united netherlands of the one part and france on the other and the duty and interest of the united states require that we should with sincerity and good faith adopt and pursue a conduct friendly and impartial towards the belligerent combating powers. Which of the following policies was President Washington recommending? Colonialism, neutrality, imperialism, or isolationism?

Neutrality. That's correct. All right. Three more. Let's go. Three more? All Casey on these three. All right. Let's go. Rapid fire. Three more. Let's go. Three more? All Casey on these three. All right, let's go.

Rapid fire. Casey Lightning Donahue. Casey Lightning Donahue. Does he have to leave if he gets them wrong? No, if you get them wrong, you have to spank your own ass in camera two. If you get them wrong, you have to stay. That's funny. Yeah, I was going to say.

I was like, I would really be rooting for you. Which of the following changes took place in southern states immediately after the Civil War? A. Access to education became more available to African American people. B. Most African Americans quickly switched from agricultural work to employment and manufacturing. C. African American women were given the right to vote. D. State governments were required to have African American people in legislative and executive offices. Can you do A and B one more time? A was access to education was expanded.

And B was black Americans switched from agricultural work to employment and manufacturing. I'm going to go with B. I believe that is absolutely wrong. Yeah. Access to education became more available. I didn't know that one. All the other ones I got correct so far, but I didn't get that one right. That's the kind of answer that you would hope is the answer,

but just from living in this country, I'm like, there's no way that's what happened. It's like instead we put them right back into the capitalist machine. Yeah, that's what I thought. That's what I was thinking. Because wage labor is just one notch above slave labor, you should say. Which, by the way, what's that?

Oh, I was just saying that grace and I are sort of the bottom of the barrel you didn't say that you ever mentioned my name were there any celebrities on the like on the wall of notable nobody it was a very small you. You've said a lot. I don't understand why Grace would be upset. I'm just trying to get her a raise. I'm not upset at all. I just had more questions. And you moved on into this 8th grade history thing.

And I just wanted to get more. You said there's still two more questions to come. Yeah, we'll come back. Because Amir grew up in Los Angeles. But no famous people went to my high school. So the wall that you put your photo on... You're welcome. I didn't put my photo up.

That was a lie. Oh, okay. This is how rumors get started. It's ridiculous. Do you think if you had gone to Crossroads, you would have been more successful in Hollywood? Crossroads is a school where a lot of celebrities send their children. And the answer is yes, I would have been more successful.

It's also a... But you're kind of the only celebrity from your school which is kind of cool the only celebrity I'm sure we have other notable alums on Wikipedia but I don't know if anyone has as many Twitter followers as you

but again I haven't been there in 20 years did you apply to Harvard Westlake? yeah I didn't get it and my brother went there I haven't been there in 20 years. Did you apply to Harvard-Westlake? Yeah, I didn't get it. And my brother went there. And what does your brother do? He's pretty rich because of tech investments and advancements too.

But he's a graphic designer. Apology accepted. He went to Harvard-Westlake Does he work? Yeah. Sorry. Apology accepted. He went to Harvard Westlake, which is a pretty good school. I applied in seventh grade. One of few feeders into Ivy League schools. Right.

But he went to UCLA. Did you go to a public school? I went to public school, yeah. Public all the way. Even college. I went to a public art college in the country. Where? Massachusetts College of Art.

That's right. Me too. You went there too? No. Oh. You just like Massachusetts. Casey and I, we lived in Boston at the same time. Oh, really?

You think you guys ever drank a brew at the same pub? No. No, but we have mutual friends. We have mutual friends, yeah. In Boston? Yeah. Interesting. In Boston? Yeah. Interesting. Pasta?

Yeah, he loves pasta. Which of the following reasons best explains why many people supported the 18th... All right. Locking in answer C, but this was what

the options were. Which of the following reasons are for the 18th Amendment which banned the sale of alcohol a they believed that drinking alcohol had a negative impact on society b they wanted to prevent organized crime from profiting from alcohol sales c they believed that alcohol would hurt the country the country's ability to fight in the second world war and d they hoped alcohol would become more expensive if it were made illegal so the correct answer is obviously A and you said C which is that before they knew

that there was going to be a second world war they were worried they'd be hung over for it and they were going to call it the second world war not incorrect well this says you scored 4 out of 5 but that's I scored 5 out of 5 well you said you didn't get one no you said you got one wrong that's scored four out of five, but that's I scored five out of five.

Well, you said you didn't get one. No, you said you got one wrong. That's true. Four out of five. That's an 80. It's weird that you would lie when you're being recorded. Well, you know, I can make any. Because also, we have enough sample, especially from Amir and me, that we can just form AI sentences

that say anything. You're right. We could do that for every episode moving forward actually now that you bring it up. Yeah, we were trying it out. Why worry about the hosting fee? Hosting fee?

We don't have to pay the robot anything. I don't think we'd have to pay the robot. Crossroads is also a movie with Britney Spears. Yes. Jeff, did any famous people go to your

high school no he's from Ohio everybody yes Jason Garrett head coach of the Dallas Cowboys went to my high school

Jason who head coach like currently I think so yeah Jason Garrett yeah was alleviated of his duties. Okay.

Replaced by Mike McCarthy. Who went to my high school, so. There's no way. There's no way. Do you even have a football team? No, flag football. Flag, yeah. Yeah.

And I do want to flag that the former head coach of the Cowboys went to my high school, Joshua Radin. Josh Radin. Josh Radin. Josh Radin. He's sort of a... The guy from How I Met Your Mother? No. This guy's a singer-songwriter. Yeah, Joshua Radin. Oh, I know that guy. Yeah.

There you go. Does he have a song called World War III? No, but that's because I think he's fighting for, I guess, what would now be the 31st Amendment, banning the sale of alcohol again. He's worried we're going to be hungover for World War III. Is he the guy that did the music for Scrubs a lot?

Yeah. Yeah. He's like good friends with Zach Braff. The other thing I'll say is, um. I'm no Superman. Exactly. That could have been him. Yeah.

I can do this all on my own. What? It's a good show. I'm thinking, oh, Chris something. He's a Broadway actor. He went to my high school. Oh, my God. Anthony Rizzo was a year younger than me

at my high school. Did you ever spank his ass on the baseball team? Like, he made a good pass or something and you're like... Did I ever spank his ass? the baseball team? Like he made a good pass or something and you're like... Did I ever spank his ass? Forget it. No. I wasn't on the baseball. My brother was on the baseball team.

Did anybody famous go to your secondary school? My secondary? One person did. Mira Sayal. Who the hell is that? You really don't know? Who is that? I don't know who is that I don't know she's one of the UK's premier like British Asian entertainers

she was in a sketch comedy group called Good and Scorch as me he was on a TV show married to Sanjeev Bhaskar another it's funny when people are famous in America they're famous worldwide and people are famous where you're here. Nobody gives a shit I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry about that true. Why are we offended? It's not look we all know mr. Bean Australia I It's true. Why are we offended? Look, we all know Mr. Bean. I thought he was from Australia.

I wish I had a piece of Kraft American Singles so I could do one of these. Sorry, Jeff. We're doing a podcast over here. I was talking about real life. I was trying to talk about my parents. It's so arbitrary when people decide to get upset at me. I asked if you guys had an abnormal pap

and you guys were just kind of silent and awkward. And then I threw a fucking... We don't call it a pap smear. It's a smear test. Just if you're ever in the UK and you're trying to get that done. Ask women for some pap. I wonder where the pap does come from. Is it like a guy's name

or is it like the specific type of instrument they use? I think a guy's name. No, I thought it was based on how the procedure's done, because usually there's a couple, it's usually done by like a crowd of paps. What's that? I thought it was because of the way they take the photography,

or whatever, or the scan, is usually from like 18 paparazzo. Open your mouth. What? Throw this coaster into it. This is so fucked up. Wow! Oh my God, it worked.

That was really close. The Wall Street Journal asked, when you're traveling, does an Airbnb beat a hotel? Oh yeah. Not anymore. It was a guy's last name. Pap? That's so annoying. I wouldn't stay at an Airbnb.

The G-Spot's also named after a doctor. The same guy. His first name's George. This guy's got any fees. Yeah. I've been doing Airbnbs less and less recently. Me too. I ended up doing Airbnbs less and less recently. Less quality control.

There's less quality control. The way that you can go from G-Spot back to Airbnb without even flinching. They used to call me G-Spot in high school. I'm not even saving money anymore. I know. That's such a bummer. That's why I'm like, if I'm going to stay somewhere for four days, I'd live with a G-Spot in high school. I'm not even saving money anymore. That's such a bummer. If I'm going to stay somewhere for four days, I'd live at a hotel.

I was wondering if there's like, because there's turndown service. Plus you get the maintenance. Because there's a bunch of fees. There's no heat and fees. There's a reason you made a hotel. No, I said I've never had sex. At the hotel.

I guess if you're here for five weeks, stay at a hotel for five weeks. No, it's hard because you can sex. Yeah, that could be a five. And then you're off. I guess it's like five weeks. Yeah, never, yeah. No, it's hard because you can stay in a semi-permanent... Yeah, then it's probably better to do a hotel. You probably want to do an Airbnb then, yeah. Like you're staying in LA, you're staying for like almost a month and a half.

Well, you have the option, you know, you said you were doing an Airbnb in the Franklin Village. You could do the Carlotta. Did you guys hear that Jeff's... Jeff was called G-Spot in high school? I think we might have two ads.

Maybe we do two ad breaks. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Where would I have heard that? I want to know if it was one of those things where he was, they were laughing with or at him. You know what I mean? Like, is it cool that he was called that? Or was it like...

It wasn't entirely unrelated. I bet it wasn't cool. I bet it wasn't cool. It was because... Was it your rapping name? No, I never rapped. It was, um... I piss my pants.

There was often a dribble on my khakis. And that's unrelated. Another break? There's no way. Oh, my God. We did pass the eighth grade fucking thing. I think I'm actually souring on Airbnb. Amir.

What? Cheer up. What? Plugs. What do you guys got? What do you want to point the people towards? The floor is Casey's and we'll go left to right. You can follow me on Instagram at Casey Donahue or Twitter, I guess.

What's left of it. What's left of it. What's left of it. I mean, wow. Yeah. What a stink town that's become. You can listen to the Pitwall podcast, which I do with Jeff sometimes if he wakes up to record the show.

Listen to Doughboys. What is that noise? Nothing. You're watching TikToks again during the show. Put your phone away. Jeff, did you have another segment? Did we get through all of them? We didn't, but it's 55 minutes.

Anything good? We were also going to do something about how scientists finally solved the mystery of how Mayans made plaster so strong. Strong. The secret ingredient? Sap. Yeah. Grace got that.

I don't think you were done. There was a whole segment about how you can now get a dot dad URL. So I was just going to have us all come up with dot dad URLs. I had... Dad dot dad.

Trinae dot dad. Trina dot dad. Pretty good. Marty Michaels divorce dot dad. Nice. Jack Daniels stole my dot dad. So not anything good. And then we were going to go on. I mean, we kind of ambiently have done this,

but I wanted to do a whole audit about the producers. Because honestly, this was fucking easy. Okay, let's do it. So, listen to Doughboys and can I also say the other one? No. But exciting stuff coming.

But this comes out in two days. Do you know who you're talking to here? Grace, are you going to have time to edit this in the next two days? Yeah. There's a lot of cuts you have to make. Not really. I thought it was all gold except for some of the shit where you guys were coming at me.

It was funny. Grace, can you add more of the shit of us coming at him to the. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it twice. Run it back. The more we talk over each other, the less like editing there is to do. That's what I'm always trying to say, is that people need overlapping dialogue, not this fucking long pause, because people don't know how to respond to something I said or did.

Because he asked me about a pap smear, and I had nothing. I couldn't even come up with a joke because it was so violating. Would you say that it was jarred joy? No. All right. I'm going to fuck up some rice. Nice. Would you say that it was jarred joy? No Alright Nice That was beautiful On the live stream Now what was I about to say?

Sorry We had a great time on the live stream Some of my favorite times on the live stream The best part was Miles' segment where he litigated And you and me at 3am.m. with Casey also there. Were you in the U.K. at the time? Yes.

So it was like midday for you. Were you in Bath? 11 a.m. Where do you live in the U.K.? Amir, that's actually how we plan it. Bath? Is that where you live? No, that's where I was born.

Thank you. Where do you live? Good memory. Amir called me smart. Do you remember? Oh, no, I said that. I don't remember. What do you have to plug?

Also. And that's sort of like the Baker's field. Are we still doing plugs? I'm wondering because Casey did his plugs and then you sort of meandered. You started watching TikToks. It's never the person behind the desk fucking job to make sure everyone speaks just so in the right order.

Are you live producing, like changing camera angles while we talk? Of course. I just switched back on to you. After I said that thing or while I was talking? I've been doing as best as I fucking can. Alright? This shit is hard as shit. That's the producer audit. This shit is hard as shit. Thank you.

Thank you for finally admitting it. Well, no, it's hard when you're trying to host, too, because I'm fucking, you know, it's person A. Anya, what do you have to plug? We do have some exciting shows coming up. We have a lot of launches in May. I think it's fair to say that it's, yeah. Sorry, go ahead.

Well, you've heard of... Shut up, Grace. We have a Will and Grace podcast. Yeah, exactly right. Are you happy? Everyone knows now Debra We're just messing with you Three busy Debras

I feel like this will go over well When you ask for a raise I think moments like this are the moments we'll kind of think about What I'm going to do is bleep that out I really will Lots to listen to Amir made fun of me for this earlier But I'm always looking for submissions to my radio show.

Thank you. The Love Motel. The Love Motel. The Love Motel. The.LoveMotel. You can follow me there. On our website, thelovemotelradio.com. It's on the flyers all over the office.

Or do you not know how to read? I wanted her to say for the... WGXC.org. You know, this is... I've never said something more cancelable. But sometimes I wish I had a direct line to my friend's partners so that they could, like, punish them later.

You know what I mean? Like, either, like... Like, you just pissed me off, right? Like fetish vibes? It could be fetish vibes. I mean more, like, worse. Like, you're just getting iced out by your partner for the next three days. And you don't know.

And she won't tell you. There's no way they would listen to you. No, but that's what I'm saying. If I had the direct line, maybe. We do have a love line 857 dial love. Okay. So maybe if I could conference call me and Jill, I could get Jake in the doghouse. Exactly right.

So maybe. We'll put you both on the air. All right. Okay. And then Amir, you'll just sort of be ignored in your own house. Exactly right. Yeah. So maybe. We'll put you both on the air. All right. Okay. And then Amir, you'll just sort of be ignored in your own house. There we go.

Jill is not Amir's partner. Just so you know. No, I knew that. I just was, that was an example of like an impartial thing where it's like, oh,

it is my baby. Can we say that? What is? Jill's baby. She's with child, but it's my sperm donor. You're asking Jeff if you can say that?

Jeff was the arbiter. I mean, he's in the hot seat. It's a lot of power in that seat. No, because what I had was two things. I had a meat locker and a turkey baster. Exactly. That was for meat production, but it also ended up being for she production. We had air's seed.

Let's add that to the pile. And guess who else was there? Andrew Pyle. Exactly right. I knew where that was going. Grace, cut that out. That'll be for the Patreon. We do need a Patreon.

What are you looking at me for? I don't know. Marika once said that... Sorry, let me turn in my't know. Marika once said that, uh, sorry, let me turn in my storytelling voice. Marika once said that the HeadGum Top Brat

Is this Sean Connery? Back to Bond of the Week. Bond of last week. A HeadGum Podcast Patreon. Can you do Michael Caine? Do you want to? No, this is my Sean Connery. Do Gilbert Gottfried.

You could only do that celebrity. I wonder if we could have a HeadGum Podcast Patreon channel. That's pretty good, actually. Yeah, well, he's like the easiest. Like, you do it. I'm sure you could do it right now. I wonder if we could have.

That wasn't good at all. Let's keep going. Grace, what do you have? A Gilbert Gottfried impression? Let's do your plugs as Gilbert Gottfried. Can you do a Mr. Bean impression? Follow me. That's it.

Not really. That's it. Nailed it. That was a pretty good Mr. Bean impression. Not really. My parents watch an episode every morning. That's cute. Mr. Bean?

That's what they started to do in retirement. If you're going to do Mr. Bean you have to eat french fries with a fork. Grace, what do you got? My mom's from the same town as Mr. Bean. Really? Yeah.

The character or Rowan Atkinson, the actor? Wow, where's that? Concert, County Durham. Northeast. You wouldn't know by his accent.

Yeah. I've never heard him talk. Is that the joke? No. Mr. Bean's no heard him talk. Is that the joke? No. Mr. Bean's no match for Iago. You haven't seen Blackadder? It's getting worse with each word you say. I got nervous that time because I knew that the camera was going to be on my ass.

Wow. I really thought you would have seen Blackadder. No, I've never. That's so funny that you would have thought that. Does Rowan Atkinson talk in that? Yeah he's the teacher of Blackadder Try to be a part of a conversation I love Blackadder

I always get it confused with Peaky Blinders Was that still the Godfrey impression? Jess you know what's surprising? Amir's never seen Blackadder, nor heard of it? No, I am surprised. Because it's like a British sitcom that's pretty similar to your sense of humor, I would say. Very dry.

Not that you're a dad, but it is like Daft Punk. It's Jeffrey Gottfried from here on out. Wouldn't it be Gilbert Jalfrey? It would be the G-spot for sure. Plugs. Yeah. I, sorry, have, I work on the Headcumbe podcast, sitcom D&D, Girls on Porn, Twinnovation, and...

Maisel Boys. Thank you. You're welcome. In that order. No. Of how much you like them to least. I could do that. Reverse.

That was the reverse. There's an order And then I have a sub stack Heylakegirls.substack.com I talk about movies and NBA basketball Oh my gosh What? Do you think Dylan Berks is ever going to play in the NBA again?

Yeah I don't see it Amir has a basketball podcast. How did you become a basketball fan in England? Around 2012-13 through the Oklahoma City Thunder. So how does the Oklahoma City Thunder reach you?

I liked LeBron James. Okay. He was not on the Thunder. Followed him to the Heat and then through that. So how old were you in 2010 when he joined the Heat? Guys, you can't see

the monitors right now, but Casey, I'm just now realizing, looks like Pedro Pascal, but Irish. I'll take it. You don't sound like him, so just keep that, yeah that keep that what? keep that mouth shut

keep that pretty little mouth shut what are we running at right now? it's been an hour and 32 minutes yeah that's long for us after post probably a svelte 42 37 we're all kind of filling in for all the stuff that Jeff said

that we have to cut out At Jeffrey James on Twitter Sorry At Jeffrey James on Instagram At Jeff Barty on Twitter And yeah Do you guys feel like you adequately plugged? No

Charles Barkley on Instagram How do you spell that? Like Charles Barkley but with O's instead of A's C-H-O-R-L-E-S-B-O-R-K-L-E-Y. Charles Barkley. Amir, are you guys good? We can just be out right now. We have stuff to do.

Yes, we have all stuff to do. This is everything I dreamed it would be. That was a Hidgum Original.