The Headgum Podcast - 154: Bi Sofas

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

Erica (Headgum ad ops) makes her debut alongside Amir, Allie, Alex, and Geoff to discuss Las Vegas, bisexual sofas, and Amir's last breakup! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Well, I mean, it's a 10-minute chunk that I had outlined. I also wanted to give us time to talk about F1. Yeah. All right, where's the time? In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. It's a sermon, no.

Correct. I'm going to give my $10 to Jake, actually, for that one. Weird. Now it's on that Connect 2020. By the way, there's not a clear winner. Nobody gets any money. So here we go. Competition.

We are gathered together. It's the same sermon. Near and far around the world. You're clipping out the same fucking guy. You found three different audio files. It was Ellen, the sermon, and an interview with Gunther. Those are actually three different audio files. It was Ellen, the sermon, and an interview with Gunther. Those are actually three different sermons. Thursday, May 11th.

WJ Strike is in full effect. We batch recorded an episode. We did one this morning. I'm still kind of in a bad mood, just to be honest, so you guys know where I'm coming from. Every week we've been trying to... Sorry. I can sip on the show.

It's not a stoppable offense. I know. I'm going to have to edit that out. I fully heard that. Yeah, we're checking in on the WGA strike. It sort of halted Hollywood. But because we're batch recording, we're not going to really get a check-in for week three.

So what do you guys think will have happened then? I think that we're going to see some repeating signs. Yeah, that's good. A sign repeater? Yeah. It's like an outfit repeater. Yeah. Yeah.

And then second most important, I guess we should introduce Erica. Welcome to the show. I don't know your last name, otherwise I would have said both. It's okay. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Don't worry about it. Holy shit. That's also correct what's that? that's correct and then I guess your sophomore appearance Alec Bergman

Alec Berg on the show no Alex Bergman on the show you're just renaming everyone well Alec Berg is the creator of Silicon Valley right? yeah it doesn't matter what? what are you doing here? you're like a millionaire I know everyone. Well, Alec Berg is the creator of Silicon Valley, right? Yeah. It doesn't matter. What?

What are you doing here? You're like a millionaire. I know. Erica, this is your first time on the show. Do you want to introduce yourself to the audience? What do you do at HeadGum or anything else you want them to know? Yeah, so my last name is Jensen. Nice. Just putting it out there. Erica Jensen. That sounds like an animated character. Really? Not really.

And then I do ad ops for the West Coast. For Gumball or head gum i guess head gum both yeah all right um gumball very cool and you said you you said you live in the valley where in the valley i don't know where that is it's okay that doesn't matter either okay cool and i'll bleep that out i guess um you answered like that i mean this is going out to like what 50 000 people yes really yeah 20 doubtful not even not i thought it was like 30 000 don't we sell the ads at 30 000 yeah but those numbers are fudged it's probably close to 2 900 people listening and then we sell it for 30 40k

which ends up being pennies on the dollar. Exactly. Erica knows all about that. Yeah. So, yeah. And I don't see a dime of that. I get paid hourly. Yes, exactly. We pay you up front,

so it's low risk but low reward. A stipend. Exactly. You said stipend with the same, like, intonation as, like like new parents say diaper. Where it's like they don't want to change a diaper because it's their first time having a kid. You get this. No.

Oh yeah, it's Jake that's having a kid. Where is the little fucker? Do you think, well by this time next Friday, he'll have been born. She'll have been born. I think so, yeah. Yeah. And if not, then we've got a real problem on our hands. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And if not, then we've got a real problem on our hands. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to cut that out. We've got a lot to get to. Everyone seems very nervous. Even Amir. What the hell was that? My headphones don't work. Yeah.

I feel like I can't hear. I know. Things normally. Yeah. Meaning? Like the headphones are not actually amplifying our microphones. It's just dampening what we can hear.

What about the sound effects? I can hear the sound effects. I took my headphones off because I couldn't even hear the sound effects. Are you okay? Yeah. You seem upset. We're doing this new setup again where I'm behind the boards

just because I can live edit which makes it easier for me and also HeadGum refuses to give us a producer for this show other than Anya who's a supervising producer so she handles emails and scheduling etc but they don't seem to want to pair this show with a

in studio producer someone who can be on the boards who can make sure everything is working right the levels Do the live edit and I don't appreciate it so here I am behind the boards And I think that people enjoyed last week's episode, so I don't know what to say yeah, yeah, yeah Bond of the week Every week we put up a fucking Casting option for 007 It doesn't matter This week my pick is Dylan Brosnan

So instead of James Bond it's James' Spawn Who's Dylan Brosnan he's uh Pierce's son oh his hot son how old is he? he's my age I went to school with him you went to Dylan Bronson's school?

I went to USC with him and uh there was a day there was a night that we were out downtown with some friends at the ace hotel pretty awesome and uh at least at the time and i see dylan and so i'm like holy shit i know that guy from class i don't even think at this point i knew that he was like a famous person's son so i go up to him i'm like dylan bunch of you sca people are over there like you should come have a drink with us because he was alone.

And then it turned out he was on a date. His date walked up and I was like, oh, never mind. And he was kind of an asshole to me about it. Interesting. Sounds like you were just being really nice. I was. He might not have been able to hear me because he didn't end up

looking me in the eye. And I was like 40 feet away. Yeah, that could be it. This is so fucked up. This is Amir's second episode, so he kind of expended all his energy on the first one. You're not even trying, first of all. You're mad that you had to have half a salad.

We're scheduled to record at 1. Sure. Our lunch got here at 1. Absolutely. So the decision was made, do we eat now or just think about the food and record?

You made the decision. Right. So I thought, which was kind of smart, to eat half of it before the record for about 10 minutes. Yeah. And then,

so we're satiated for the actual episode. But instead you're lethargic for the full episode. But now we're, yeah, digesting. Yes, exactly. Which is why I thought

half was a good compromise. So I'm not like fully in this post-food coma world. Do you want to digest eat? No, I don't want to digest eat. I'm using LaCroix. Do you want a Campari? What can you offer me? We have Campari.

That's all we have. Right here? In the office, yeah. No, I'm good. We've got a lot to get to we already talked about the WGA strike all we got projecting to next week

is that Ally thinks that people are going to be sign repeaters which I think is great a great prediction Erica what do you got? honestly I have no idea about the whole thing like I know about it but like I couldn't give you much to talk about. And would you say that the question I just asked was good for content?

Sure. Really? You think it was? I mean, I don't know. I don't fucking care. What's that? No,

I didn't say. Erica, you said you went to school in Vegas you're going to Vegas tonight whoa is that true yeah just for fun yeah whoa

how often do you go to Vegas I go I used to go a lot like every few weeks and then now it's like once a month or so I mean I go a lot yeah once a month is pretty solid

yeah I've never been no I'm driving got it so. I mean, I go a lot. Yeah. Once a month is pretty solid. Yeah. I've never been. No, I'm driving. Got it. But sometimes I'll fly. I don't like flying in the summer. It's the turbulence is so bad.

Well, you didn't mean the airline. You just meant like that's the general region where I'm at the airline. You've never been to Vegas? I've never been to Vegas. Really? Really? It shows. Wait, no, you said... It definitely shows.

It's for the best. Yeah, like you... I don't think you'd be able to handle what Vegas has to offer. What do you mean? It's the same as any other town. There's just like more clubs. Yeah, well, it's not really that. Erica can tell you.

She's sort of a Vegas connoisseur, but that city would chew you up and spit you out. Yeah. You don't know me at all,isseur, but that city would chew you up and spit you out. Yeah. You don't know me at all, but why do you think they'd chew me out? Well, it's just like all clubbing, drinking, gambling, partying. All stuff you don't like.

Those are all things I don't like. Expensive dinners, buffets. Well, I like a buffet. I like an expensive buffet. Yeah. And I like a Cirque du Soleil after a buffet. They have that there. It's too, it's scary for me

Vegas continue please extrapolate is Cirque du Soleil scary I'm it's too risky the acts the tricks

oh you're like you're anxious that they'll fall down I sit there the entire time waiting for someone to get hurt and then I'm at the show where something terrible

happened and I have to and then I was there and then I have that memory it's too much for me okay so let's do this let's do like a not even thought exercise but straight up acting exercise so you're in the sorry she just said

okay yeah I'm still picking up on the fact that Alex and Amir wish they could have finished their lunch in peace you're at Cirque du Soleil. Sure. You're in the audience. Okay.

They're doing their high-flying, high-fatutin accidents. Yeah. High-fatutin accidents. My hands started sweating. Oh, my God. Okay, so let's say you and – Company Retreat next year is in Vegas. You guys are sat next to each other. How do you both react?

Here we go. Three, two, one, action. Whoa. Can I stop you right there? Yeah. You're already – you're doing too much because like you don't want to be like whoa you know during like a you know it's like a performance amir would actually do that though in the crowd yeah but that's not a good thing like absolutely

correct but that's not a good thing i think it's fun to like engage with the show and like feel yeah almost like you're overcome with the joy. Yeah. Or the need to like exclaim. Yeah. Clap. Someone's going to fall and then it'll be a silent theater and a mirror going, whoa, whoa. Upward. Yeah.

The fear. Just one second. So the fear for me is that you, so you start, you stopped doing If I Were You. Sure. Right. And so can we agree on that it's a fact it's not like something we have to agree on and it's a factoid it's not like such a big deal that it's a fact carry on um you stopped doing that show and i feel like

there's this like itch that's not being scratched for your ass in terms of performing, in terms of being in the limelight. You think me going, whoa, during a circus is me trying to like reclaim my glory years of being a podcast? I think you're trying to, yeah, center yourself where there is no narrative for you there. And Jeff, you're saying stop with the cameo. So imagine like Jeff at like a blackjack table saying this stuff to a dealer. Like it wouldn't make sense, you know what I mean? They'd escort it out.

Yeah, exactly. They're calling the pit boss. This is worse than card counting. Yeah, who's there? No. Oh, that's you're asking to hit. Is that knocking on wood? No, that's me saying hit me.

Have you been to any casino ever? Yes, I went to the talking stick thing with you last year. Oh, yeah, that's right. In Scottsdale. Guess how much money I lost. You lost a few hundred dollars pretty fast. I lost $200 within 10 minutes. Playing what?

Cards. Fucking blackjack, I think. And then there was, yeah. Isn't that like the easiest game though? Yeah, it's the easiest game, but he still couldn't figure it out. And then do you want to tell the story of how I almost got my legs broken? Did you? Were you there?

No. Remember I like, so I like barely graced the table with the chip. Oh, yeah. To increase a bid or not bid. Oh, yeah, yeah, a bet. A bet. I remember, yeah. And the fucking dealer's like, whoa.

Like you can't, he touched his chips mid bet it's like you're not supposed to touch that it looked like you were like taking some chips off i was like sorry yeah i've never been a casino and he's like no i have to take call my manager i'm like i've already lost but yeah okay if i win this the casino still wins yeah like i i still lost 150 dollars so i didn't know that it people especially in fucking, what is it? Scottsdale? Yeah. I don't know. So I almost got my legs broken. 21 style. Alex, what are your thoughts on Vegas?

You know, I went to Vegas for this job for a conference just a few months ago. That feels like the worst way to do Vegas. Sitting inside like a sea level resort. Yeah, really high air conditioning.

Fluorescent lights, the smell of smoke everywhere. That's the first time you've ever been? No. No, no, no. But it's not my favorite place. Yeah. Where is your favorite place? Punta Cana?

Sorry, why is that funny? What a bad thing to say during a conversation. You're never in a good place and you have to ask that. What's your favorite place? Turkey. Really? Yeah. What's your favorite food turkey ish food like chicken no like kebab and stuff yeah yeah yeah favorite turkish restaurant you don't have to answer that i don't want to divulge my secrets wow because then there'll be a line out the door

you know it's like when that bagel place got really famous in highland park local references people hate when this happens uh grace cut that out um alex you recently started a vintage furniture refurbishing company wow Wow. Wow? Or let's hear her out. No, let's hear her out. I'm saying that's exciting. That's good exposure. I did. Do you want to plug it? Yeah.

It's called Old Souls LA. And I am sourcing cool vintage furniture and home decor. And I'm selling it online. And it's fun. Wait, I actually do have a question. Are there any couches? You didn't have a question. You wanted to ask a question and you figured it out as you said it's fun. Wait, I actually do have a question. Are there any couches? You didn't have a question. You wanted to ask a question and you figured it out as you said it.

Yeah. No, I was trying to say I need a new couch so bad. And so if you ever have, I follow your account. Oh, me too. A loyal follower. I'm on the hunt for a new couch so bad. I hate mine. I can't say it enough.

I hate it. I got you say it enough. I hate it. I got you. It makes me mad when I go home. Oh, my God. I actually feel the same way about my couch right now. Yeah. I talk about it every day to my boyfriend, and he's probably fed up with me. But you know when, like, there's no structure to the back of your couch?

It just hurts your back to sit on it. And you're just laying like this against the, like, wood. You're planking, yeah. it's a reverse plank yeah i'm like looking at gmail how does that work where you where you own basically a furniture company but your furniture that you own is not cutting it well you know i ordered a new couch like six months ago yeah restoration hardware or cardiel dane um no i've never heard of that brand, but it sounds great. Yeah, they have like mid-century modern stuff,

but they've pushed it back essentially until October now. I'm on the hunt again. Up until the next mid-century. See, that's a joke. Not like you're weird at, oh, sorry, I can't hear. What's that? Are you playing a song? He made the sound effect.

I did, yeah. Yeah. So, at Old Souls LA. At Old Souls dot LA. Dot LA. Yeah. And is it local pickup only? Local delivery only?

Mostly, yeah. Unless it's like something really small. Like a buffet. Maybe put in the effort. Huh? Nothing. Help me. Is it you purchasing stuff that you see from like flea markets

and stores and then reselling it from your house? Sourcing from places like the Rose Bowl Flea and garage sales? I think I said it pretty simply. I was just wondering. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, so not as much flea markets

because I feel like that stuff's already priced. Accordingly. A lot estate sales. That's cool. Did you go to that one in Bel Air the other day? No. Did you? I was going to. I didn't wake up in time. Don't look at me when you talk.

When you say estate sales, is it like people that just passed away? Sometimes, yes. Whoa. Sometimes they're just trying to get rid of a bunch of shit. Sometimes someone's moving and they're liquidating all their stuff. I don't know. What's the best deal you've gotten at an estate sale? I got a $50 desk.

For $9. No, I $50 desk. For $9. No, I paid $50. Yeah, yeah. And then you can sell it for much more than that. Yeah, much more, yeah. Wow, that's cool. Yeah. Let's facilitate some deals right now.

Okay. So, Allie, you need a sofa. I can't even tell you how much I hate my couch. Yes. What's wrong with your couch? I hate it. It's bad. It's dirty.

It's uncomfortable. It's dirty. It's uncomfortable. Old? It's, I think I, I bought it from Facebook Marketplace. I think it, I bought it new, but it's so cheap from Amazon.

And I didn't realize that until after it was already in my house. Like I didn't, I didn't do a quality check. It's like the cushions and the couch are made out of the same material. Yes, they're attached. Yeah. It's just one lump sum.

It is one thing. One lump sum. One lump sum. What's that? Allie hates her couch. It was a Hot Cross Buns parody. I didn't mean to get so heated. You know what? I don't talk about this outside of my apartment at night. Sos parody. I didn't mean to get so heated. I didn't, you know what?

I don't talk about this outside of my apartment at night. So it's like I didn't realize how much it's permeating my mood during the day. Right. It's hard to get away. You can't escape it. No. It's always top of mind. Yeah.

Can I ask a question? Please. If your couch was a real life person, who would it be? And why? Let's add add n y please not me oh my god if it's me it would be like you know okay you know it is a it is a c it's also it's not the right shade of green but it's green so i would say it's like the most annoying like tucker carlson or something yeah but like there have you have you heard the have you heard the thing that it's like like green couches are like supposed to be

bisexual it's the have you ever heard a green couch am i bisexual now you must be there was a thing that was going on online where it was like all of these people being like, if you have a green velvet couch, that means you're bisexual. Which my couch isn't green or velvet and I'm not bisexual. So what are you worried about? I'm saying that my couch would be the most annoying try hard out there that also happens to be bisexual. Oh, interesting. And it's... I can't complain about it enough.

Erica, ask me what color my couch is. What color is your couch? Green. Ask me what material it's made of. Can I guess? Velvet? That's what it means. I've been limiting my options sexually. Is that true? You have a green velvet couch? Why are you so curious all of a sudden?

Just making conversation. That's how Emrata came out as bi. With a green velvet couch? Is that true you have a green velvet couch? Why are you so curious all of a sudden? Just making conversation. That's how Emrata came out as bi. With a green velvet couch? Is that true? Yeah. She used to be my neighbor. Really? Yeah, and then we both moved.

Same week. She came out as bi? Because of her green couch on TikTok. Did she come out or did she just have a green couch? I thought she came out on top. It's a wink and a nod saying this is what that means. Right. And then who did she French?

Pete Davidson, I think. Harry Styles. Yeah, it ended up being Harry. Yeah. Yeah. So that's not really proving anything because she was married to a man, got divorced, sold the house.

I moved as well. Same week. Did I mention that? Yep. Yep. And we do have to take a break. And we're already back. Did you see how fast that was?

Oh, my headphones work again. We're already back. See? Oh, forget it. Jesus. Erica, how'd you meet your best friend my best friend yeah my best friend i met in high school but i feel like i have multiple best friends if that makes sense i get that yeah it's a tier like First and last. My best friend group from LA.

I met them in high school. Yeah. But I have best friends from preschool. I have different friends. Oh, that's a lot of friends. I have three. Maybe two. There's not a lot.

But it's just like there's different groups. And I consider them all my good friends. Are they all part of the Vegas crew? No. I have my Vegas friends. Separate. And honestly, if my friends watch this, but my Vegas I have my Vegas friends. Separate. And honestly, if my friends watch this,

but my Vegas friends are my best friends. I love them a lot. No, I mean... I hope you don't. No, they're not going to watch. You heard it here first. For the life of me, I'm not going to watch this.

Okay. Okay, so let's just start some shit. What's funny? Right? Like, this is actually kind of a serious episode so far. Trying to get to know Erica. I've never met her. Not really, no.

We talked about Cirque du Soleil. Yeah. Yes. We talked about Alex's actual business by the way Literally a circus I'm not running a circus No not you I'm doing Cirque du Soleil I think I'm sort of like a P.T. Barnum kind of guy

Right Like a hollow vessel Jeff you can't come out pro circus I'm not And I'm sorry for laughing earlier It's kind of fucked up um of your vegas group closest friends you should say i should take that back really quick no i mean like to go out with and like no drama no issues like they're like the best people you know i feel like the people i go

out with are the ones that always have drama but i feel like your best friends that you've known the longest there's always going to be drama. That's true. Like, there's always, like, some built-up anger or something between everybody. Yeah. How big is the Vegas crew? Sorry, you don't have to answer that. I'm curious.

How big is, how many people, though? Vegas? Okay, so in LA, like, our group is, like, I guess, like, six girls? Six, okay. No, 40. Six girls from LA going to vegas every time i go to 4100 i feel like everyone is my friend no that's not true uh six girls from la that all live in la go to vegas that's no no that's like my high school friends we were all

on cheer together like we were we were like the group you know but the vegas crew the vegas crew is just like fun like there's no no. Are they from LA too? No, they're actually, two of them are from Vegas. One's from Canada, but moved to Vegas. So three of them live in Vegas. Yeah. Well, four. In my Vegas crew, it's like four of us. But then like, there's just like other people that you still hang out with from college.

Your boyfriend's not your best friend. He is my best friend. So how did you meet him? He is. But I will say, so here's the thing. My boyfriend's from college. Your boyfriend's not your best friend. He is my best friend. So how did you meet him? He is. But I will say, so here's the thing. My boyfriend's from Vegas. So he has a lot,

he lives here now, but he has a lot of like friends in Vegas that have other friends that we all kind of like all became a group. The cruise or the network grows from there.

Right. It's like, yeah, it's like a phone tree. Yeah. Because it's like you become his friend and then his friends become your friends and then they all become friends with each other. It grows from there. Right. Yeah, it's like a phone tree. Yeah. Because it's like you become his friend and then his friends become your friends and then they all become friends with each other.

Right. It grows from there. It's a network. For five minutes in Vegas, you would not survive. Your energy is so anti-fun. What do you mean? There's no way that you would ever like step foot in another casino and have a good time. The last time Alex was in this room for this show, we were concocting dairy.

Yeah, that has nothing to do with it. I almost want to like you in Vegas, just to test it out. Yeah, because it's such a weird fish in water. It's like a fish in water, just different waters. But you have to wear what you're wearing now. You wouldn't get into a club. You would not get into a club, is what I'm trying to say. You would not get into

a club. You're wearing a golf polo. By the way, the same shirt you wore last night on the live. Sure. Shirt? Take a break. We'll be right back. What? Did we just take a break? Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why

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scottsdale and you want to go to and you want to be on the strip um no vegas has never been my bag and i've never been there but i don't think I would enjoy it. I think what we should do is we all join Erica on her trip there tonight. There's no way she wants that. No, you guys could come. That'd be fun. Tack on. We kind of test this out and see how it goes. Let me show you around Vegas.

Tack on is tacky. The drive is the most fun part, right? The excitement of arriving. No, the drive is the most fun part through the desert. We can have hijinks on the road. Exactly. Road hijinks, basically. Where do you stop along the way? In and out? I'd rather be at Narragansett. No, you have like hijinks on the road. Exactly. Road hijinks, basically. Where do you stop

along the way? In and out? I'd rather be at Narragansett. No, you have to stop in Barstow and then Baker. And then maybe watch some videos from Barstool

in Barstow. No, not that at all. Because Dave Portno... You know what's in Baker? World's largest thermometer. I was going to say that. And again, you would know that because you don't belong anywhere near there.

How many times have you been to Vegas? Dozens. Really? Yeah, literally dozens. Well, you like gambling. Yeah, I grew up in LA, very close by. Been 21 for at least 19 years. You got to assume I'm there a few times a year.

All right. A few times a year. A few. Do you fly? Sometimes I fly. Sometimes I drive. Sometimes I drive. Flying is easy. It's like 45 minutes. But driving is the fun part.

If you're going with friends. But driving back is so bad. It is really bad. It almost undoes the fun of Vegas. You cannot leave Sunday at like 9am. It takes you like 12 hours. 12 hours. Huh?

Nothing. I said I takes you like 12 hours. 12 hours. Big Bear? Huh? Nothing. I said I've been to Big Bear. Right. You know, I've never been to Big Bear. Oh, you guys should do a little retreat swap. Where I go to Vegas and you go to Big Bear? Yeah, we can like FaceTime. That probably, like, do you like going to like a cabin?

Yeah, I've gone to Mammoth, but I've never done Big Bear. So you're just like socially liquid. You're just like, you have the capital. What is that? I think I'm going to like a cabin and yeah i've gone to mammoth but i've never done big bear so you're just like socially liquid you're just like you have the capital i think i'm gonna be sick i don't know if it's the uh food i just had or what you just said but that i really feel nauseous right now what's the problem did you eat too fast no i did i was sort of eating at a normal amount but then you said socially liquid and i feel like food poisoning or something i feel like what you said was the norovirus and it's affecting me. The norovirus? I think so. Oh, here we go. Oh, fuck. Socially liquid, was it?

Yeah, can you elaborate on that? Like, you have the capital. You have the social capital to do, and the wherewithal, mind you, to be in Vegas but also in a cabin with just, like, two people. Oh, yeah. Like, I'm very well-versed. I can only do the latter. Oh. I'm with you there. I don. Like I'm very well- I can only do the latter. Oh. I'm with you there.

I don't think I'm Vegas. I feel like I've driven that point home pretty clear though. Yeah. Because you said that you get worried at Cirque du Soleil. Okay.

I need to take you all to Vegas. We're going to change our- I would love to go to Vegas. I want to go once but I feel- It's a fun place to be. I feel like I'm going to end up there

for like bachelor parties so I find not going by choice you only go for like a weekend that's too much no you get there Friday, party, party Saturday leave Sunday I can't party two nights in a row anymore I'm only 25

you're only 25? you could party hey if I can party two nights in a row You could party. Hey, if I can party two nights in a row. You can't. You can't even do one night. When we went to New York for the Grammar City shows, you didn't go out afterwards. Everyone else did. Yeah, you did leave Austin one night, didn't you?

What did he do on the retreat this year? Did he go out? No, you left early one night. Not really early, but I thought it was after midnight. We sat next to each other and watched a pool game for a little. Yeah, that was fun. One second, was it fun for Allie? I think so. Yeah.

Just blink twice if he paid you off. No, there's no way. That was like three. My fear with you is like I don't want you to get too rich because you're going to become weird. What? Like, you know how some people can handle wealth? You don't think he can take it not at all i feel like you're gonna you're gonna be like spending three hundred dollars on a hoodie

so you're not gonna change your style okay and like are you with me okay are you skeptical i mean that sounds like a nice hoodie but yeah and then you're gonna like pay people off you know what i mean i wouldn't do that no you would you would be like don't come to this thing tonight because i don't want to feel anxious. Here's $1,000. Here's a rack. You can pay me not to show up. How about tonight?

I don't want to pay anybody not to show up. That's crazy. What's the sandwich picture that you put up behind you? Oh, yeah. So that's going to be, you can't really see it, but you can see on any sandwich here. But it says Dutch It says Dutch Crunch bread From Togo's Also to the tune of Hot Cross Buns Dutch Crunch bread

On any sandwich Erica what's your impression of the show so far? Honestly? Yes It's okay It's good You haven't like caught a vibe I mean I think

Can I be honest I feel like within like Head gum There's always an awkward silence Like someone talks And then it's like quiet Everybody comments this every week They're like I thought I'd paused the podcast

But it was just something that happened in the source. But Erica means even at the company. I know I always am pushing overlapping dialogue, but there's a difference between long silences and then talking over each other. I feel like you're overcorrecting. You're making sure that there's no silence whatsoever. But normal conversations do have a little

bit of a beat between when I talk and when you do. Right. Right. Right. Should we see how long we can go on the silence? Oh, that could be good. What's the longest silence on the podcast? What's that? What's that?

Let's get a numbers crunch on that. I'm sure somebody will. We'll have Sage make a compilation video. Should we do a minute right now? See what it feels like. Sage does already too much work. Let's do one minute, 60 seconds of silence. Can you do that?

I love her. Can you put up a timer? To see how long we can manage? No, I'm saying we should do 60 seconds of silence right now. All right. Amir wants a 60 second nap. A moment of silence. Starting now. How long has it been?

Not even 30 seconds. That was horrible. That was awkward. That was hard. Did we make it halfway? There's a lot of eye contact, though. Oh, I was just sort of staring off into space. Yeah.

Alex, when was the last time you won an award? An award? Yeah. I think in, in like fourth grade i did an academic pentathlon what's a pentathlon yeah it's like math science yeah you compete with a team of your peers in like a bunch of answer questions in a bunch of different genres. Maybe it was like fourth grade or something. I don't know. It was a long time ago. I, yeah.

I don't think we did that good. You went to UCSB. Yeah. Oh, I have a funny story about that though. Okay. About the pentathlon. My family always reminds me that I was on stage and I had to answer a question. I was on stage and I had to answer a question. And the question was like, how can animals, something about how animals can sense like natural disasters or something.

And it was multiple choice and I put ESP because I didn't know what ESP stood for. But basically, yeah, it was just that they can like read minds. And I know what ESP stands for, but just for Allie's sake. What is that? Yeah, what is it for my sake? I don't know what the acronym actually means. So I still could not answer the question. But one of the choices was mind reading and you chose that.

Yeah. Honestly, that's as good a guess as... I think... I hear something. Sorry. What was that? That's funny though. That's a good answer.

What was the real answer? I still don't know. I have no idea actually. Now that I think about it, that's not really a fourth grade level question. question yeah none of us know the answer to that um Allie yeah do you pray no got it Amir what was the best birthday of your life just because you have the most to choose from I guess when I turned 30 I did go to Vegas and I thought it was very fun a bunch of my friends went you thought it was very fun or you experienced a lot of joy? Both. Okay.

Did you have any regrets about that trip? Nope. Did you leave anything in Vegas? Did it stay? Did I what? What do they say, Erica? They like, what happens in Vegas is always there. Stays in Vegas.

Stays in Vegas. Did anything stay in Vegas? Did you lose your wallet? His dignity. No. My dignity and my wallet. Well, I lost a little bit of my dignity, but my wallet was completely in tow.

Yeah. And what put an end to your last relationship? For me? Of course. Sticking with you. Well, I mean, that Vegas trip was probably the beginning of the end. In terms of?

Having the relationship fall apart. But for what reasons? Is it that you were there with just your buddies and you were like, oh my God. I think it was a case of like meeting somebody at age 25 and then by 30 you're a different person. What's that? I actually really wasn't done. I can't quite hear you. The question was, is it that you were there

without sans her no she was there can i finish the question sure is it that you were there sans her and you realized oh my god like life is a it feels a little lighter she was there i still know it's the if it's an either or it's the other one i really didn't finish yeah because you keep jumping my line okay is it that you were in vegas sans her I still didn't quite finish. So if it's an either or, it's the other one. I really didn't finish. Yeah. Because you keep jumping my line. Okay. Is it that you were in Vegas sans her, and you were kind of with your buddies and realizing that life felt a little bit better without her,

that you were more yourself, and that you couldn't really be yourself around her? Sure, yes. That's what it was. I wasn't quite finished. Definitely the end. So what was the or what actually happened um a case of drifting apart sure yeah because you were moving to los angeles and she was staying in new york correct and did she yeah did she take it well was she

obviously not we broke up yeah but there can be a mutual parting of ways maybe she also was thinking yeah i mean it wasn't animus but it also wasn't like you know a happy-go-lucky time in my life yeah erica do you pray no i'm jewish and then i mean in terms of was that the beginning of the end or that was the end well jewish people can pray oh you're right but the way he asked it yeah it made it seem like do do you Christian prayer? Yeah. So where is she now? I'm not sure. And this is not a f***ing. No.

Take a break. Be right back. Do we actually go to break every time you throw it a break? Yeah. Yeah that this show would have, what, four ads per episode? Sure. Yeah, do you guys have any involvement in the selling of the Hedgum show? I don't think anyone sells it anymore. We're kind of riding the coattails of AG1. Yeah. My involvement is I schedule it. Oh, interesting. So do you ever see, like,

someone who wants to schedule an ad for this show? And you cancel it. You divert it to Hollywood Handbook. No, I don't do that. It's already, like, booked, and then I just do the ending for it yeah you know ali let me ask you this what is something you truly like about yourself oh wow yeah uh um look at the sandwich behind you while you ask these questions it makes no sense bread yeah i like uh i think i think i I like I think I am a good friend I like that about myself

yeah that's good and when was the last time you cried? oh like yesterday why? I got yeah I got stressed out

I've been having insomnia. Alex knows about this. It's not funny. It's just the honesty. No, it's just the honesty. I've been having horrible insomnia. And for some reason, I have found that if I watch a sad movie and I cry and I have like an emotional release of crying then I am able to

sleep better so it's been kind of a journey of like watching really sad stuff to try to go to sleep and it's like a weird cycle that now I'm in yeah that's still happening yeah oh my gosh you told me about this so long ago I'm so sorry uh can I just give one note to Amir there? Because I was just, I was live editing. Perfectly fine question. No, the question was great, but before that, like, Allie and Alex were having a moment. They were, like, connecting. Even Erica was smiling. You looked like you'd just seen

an animal die. So, like, have some empathy and just, yeah, action. Yeah. Well, speaking of animals dying, it's, yeah, it's like like banshees of Antron. Spoiler, the donkey. I had a hard time with that. I'm so attached to chicken.

It's like anything like that. I just lock onto it and then I cry and then I try to get a solid five. Solid five hours. Five, yeah. Five minutes. I try to get a solid not enough sleep. I have a good rec for you. What? The really depressing

scene in Dumbo where the mom is like singing to Dumbo. Yeah. That's a surefire crier. Are you thinking OG cartoon or are you thinking that weird Tim Burton remake? No, no, no. OG cartoon. I didn't even see the remake, so I can't. Dude, that is really sad.

Yeah. Eric, can I ask? When you do something positive or, like, helpful to others, do you prefer, like, private recognition or public praise? This answer might get me in trouble. No. It's a public recognition. Maybe. No, I mean, like, depends. this answer might get me in trouble no um it's a public record maybe it depends no i mean like depends if you're like i'm doing something for my family or close friends like i don't need any public but i mean like i don't know like you being on this podcast you want everyone at the company

to send you an email being like good on you yeah yeah and it might come from on you i want all the recognition for being here um speaking of recognition where do you find inspiration what are these questions from i wrote down a bunch of interesting questions do you pray and where do you find inspiration it's like the 40 questions you ask to fall in love with somebody or thing. No. Jeff, are you going to see Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret. Well, you were saying God friended you. Mm-hmm. What? Did you ever accept?

Last week, yeah. I might see that movie, that special thing. Just speaking of praying and God. Jeff doesn't strike me as someone that goes to the theaters. Is it a live show? I can't see you there. It's a movie. I can't see you at a movie theater.

Is that true? When was the last time you actually went to a movie theater, bought a ticket, and ate popcorn while watching a film? It just doesn't feel like it. That's true. I can't picture it. I just can't see it. What did you see?

What movie could you possibly have enjoyed? What was it? Evil Dead Rise. Did you like it? I can't imagine you liking a movie. could you possibly have enjoyed? What was it? Evil Dead Rise. Did you like it? No. I can't imagine you liking a movie. Why? So, okay.

Name two things you could imagine me doing. Because you've said I can't be in Vegas. You've said I can't be in a movie theater enjoying a film. Right. What are the things that you think I do enjoy? I could imagine you at a bowling alley alone. Oh, shit.

Like Highland Park Bowl or something less cool. Yeah, and you just see him and he has his own lane and you're just kind of like okay like Corbin Bow in Tarzana is he really good or is he bad I think he's practicing so he's not he's getting there

he's bad but he's like trying to learn how to do the spin enough you know you guys center me in this narrative that fits Enough! You know, you guys center me in this narrative that fits your guys' asses just because you guys are anxious to sit next to each other because you guys all don't know each other very well, right? So you have to, like, gang up on me because you're facing towards me because that's the only thing that you guys can, like, oh, like, you know, when Republicans and Democrats can come together when there's a war, right?

It's not like I'm saying you're a gutters up guy. Oh, that's funny. He gets the rails. He is a rail. This would be perfect if I had a rice song. Straight into it. I love the rice song. Here we go. That was actually the end of my question

go out with a bang I have therapy in three minutes seems like good timing oh wow do you want to start now? I might do it in the studio I might record we should live stream it

I think we should yeah it should be batch recording we can do it in another episode I might record we should live stream it I think we should yeah it should be batch recording we can do it another episode it's me and Lillian had a dream about her last night too oh

yeah like a sexy dreamer just a regular dreamer this is the first time anyone's ever asked me a question I don't want to answer well yeah let's finish out with that

Alex dream therapy I went last night yeah I also cried last night, yeah. I also cried last night. Because why? It's therapy, you know? You're supposed to cry. Therapeutic.

It's therapeutic to cry? I'll give it a shot. Erica, what do you got? Therapy or no therapy? I do not go to therapy. Allie? I don't, but someone told me I should yesterday. I used to, but I don't anymore.

Because you were fixed? No, because the pandemic sort of ended our in-person sessions, and then it was a natural dissolution of the relationship. Do you feel better? No, not really. Maybe you should go back. I should. Yeah.

She was kind of mad at me. Why? For ending? It felt combative at the end. Because she wasn't making any breakthroughs? She thought my guards were up. They are. In a way.

At Jeffrey James on Instagram. At Jeff Boyardee on Twitter. And at I am Jeffrey James on TikTok. I've been posting some really shitty ones recently there. But I might up my game as it were. Let's go in a weird order. Let's go Erica, Amir, Allie, Alex. Plugs, what do you got?

Social media projects? No. Just my Instagram maybe. Erica Jensen. Great. Easy. Amir? Oldsouls.la

You stole mine. Oh, that's yours? Shit yeah sure yeah that you have that handle on blue sky yeah you guys on blue sky no what what is twitter without elon musk is the selling but with jack dorsey yeah he just started a new twitter that's so funny alex at amir that's so funny Alex at Amir that's it dot old soul dot old soul dot Alex

it's a picture of me as a chair we're switching accounts actually yeah Allie at Allie Khan on Twitter

and Instagram and Letterboxd and listen to Gaotic new episodes every Wednesday we got them our podcast with Moona.

And I also just wanted to say thank you for everyone who's donated to the Sandwich Fund after the last podcast recording to my Venmo. It was really nice of you and I see you and I appreciate it. What is your Venmo? At Allie-Con. How many did you get? I'm making money.

Are you using it on Sandwich Fund? Can you give us the story? I don't know about the sandwich fund. Explain. Like, as a joke, like a couple podcasts ago, I just plugged my Venmo because Amir said I could, and then...

Good advice. Covering all your legal bases, too. Yeah. And then I started getting, like, I started getting money. Really? How much have you gotten? Well, I don't want to tell it.

So it's a lot. It's couch money. Are you kidding? It's couch money. Couch money. Yeah, it's good couch money. Well, it's enough to get lunch. A nice lunch.

Can I plug mine? Well, I would say that after the first one, it was just a sandwich for me. But now I think I could cover three of us. Wow. So $60. It's roughly $60. Holy smokes. Did you do your Venmo again?

What is it? At Allie-Con. Let's get her a couch. Let's get her a couch. Yeah, please give me a new couch. I'm miserable. Let's get her a couch and ha. We're going to sit on a couch.

Oh. A couch. That's it. we're gonna sit on a couch a couch um that's it that was a Hidgum Original.