The Headgum Podcast - 158: Turtle Neck (w/ Miles Bonsignore!)

Episode Date: June 23, 2023

Miles Bonsignore (Perfect Person) joins Amir, Allie, and Geoff to discuss Geoff's first resume, professional yo-yoing, and dad fashion! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Yeah, I can see a lot of people in the background, man. It's not just your roommates, they're all shopping. Yeah, now you're blocking the doorway. But also, when you pointed your thing down to hide the ceiling, I also saw a bowl of Swedish meatballs. Yeah, well, I was eating Swedish meatballs.

I don't know what to tell you. For lunch? Yeah, for lunch. A bowl of meatballs and nothing else. Exactly. With the cranberry sauce and everything. Does your room not have a door? Yeah, it's like railroad style.

Railroad style doesn't preclude having a door then i guess it's like semi-railroads everything's rolling all right we are rolling because i can't hear you you can't hear me at all not at all you can't hear the sound effects i can hear the sound effects then that's all you need then do what miles is doing right yeah but hang on but yeah you're starting with such a caustic energy. No, because I'm saying it doesn't matter, right? Your microphone needs to be on for sure. Right, and we only have six more minutes of recording space.

That's not enough. That's not enough. Six minutes? Yeah, so I'm going to stop the video. It'll be audio only for a second. It'll be audio only for a second. Stop the video? If we can't hear ourselves, does that mean that our levels are set?

Right, exactly. Your levels are great i'm you guys are coming through in stereo okay just so good to me good what well the audio is good you said the video is running no way really i would never treat you with that reverence well because i saw this video that was like about how obama like can give someone four compliments in four ten seconds okay and one of the compliments is treating the person as a higher up because it kind of puts one second. So you're treating who? Did you just get a text?

I did just get a text. Got it. So your computer is picking up all the sound effects that are built into the app. And what I'll do is I'll do do not disturb. And we should say that people are not seeing any video right now, even on YouTube. Why?

And so. Because I need to clear space on the SSD. And so do you. Which Rochelle did not do for me. I see. So it's not being recorded video wise yet. It was and now will not be. Okay.

For a couple of minutes. Well, you should pull out your phone probably and record a vlog style. No, well, what I'm going to do. Okay. So you want me to like. Yeah. So you pull out your phone and that will be the video to have while you're clearing the space.

Vertical. Why vertical, right? Yeah, because it has to be on YouTube. Yeah, because, like, that's the premium property. There we go. So we're mostly seeing Ally and Miles. We should also say that we even have Miles on the show. Today on the show, we have...

One second. It's one of those shows where, like, the hosts talk before the guests. You've been talking a lot also Ali hasn't said anything really you should introduce Ali please welcome to the show Ali Khan still no video though right no video yet just because I have to clear some like can we get rid of this factually thing I know we can get rid of the headgun podcast episode that came out today so that's off of the drive here we go just deleting files that might be needed i might have just deleted yeah the last the factually episode that just recorded because i just by

the way i tuned this morning i saw you posted an episode. Sure. Came off my YouTube algo. Okay, did you watch it? Popped on there, and people were complaining that things were being deleted, things were not being recorded, and so now you're sort of carte blanche, just deleting the hard drive. He's thinking. I really don't know what's going on. I just cleared space, and now it's saying we still only have six minutes left. I actually want to cut you off there. Yeah. Did you empty the trash?

Did you empty the trash? Because if you put something in the trash, that doesn't mean that it's gone. And so what you need is to sort of take a deep breath, realize who you are and what you're up to. What's happening is that on the drive, there is no longer the HeadGum Podcast episode from Tuesday that came out today. But did you empty the trash? Well, now it's just in the trash on my laptop,

which doesn't matter. Oh, we heard it. That was the end. So when the drive is plugged in, while the drive is plugged in, if you empty the trash, technically the drive has a trash. All right. This says, if I were you, ads.

Is that fine? I would keep those just because they might not have been released yet. All right. And then this says, yeah. This is interesting. So you have ads that are coming out on the show that does not release.

This is so fucked up. In the back catalog. Back catalog. And what we're going to try now is that there's another drive. Okay. And we're going to see what... One second.

Sure. This is all pre-production that should have been handled way, way, way before we got here, let alone started recording. In fact, we had a little bit of time where we were chit-chatting. We were sort of enjoying

our conversation. Preamble. Preamble. And Jeff said... Let me cut you off. Yep. Jeff said, let's get into...

Let's go save it. Let's get it started now. Let's go. He rushed us. He rushed us into this room that wasn't built yet. Yeah. You rushed us to get here

and there is no here here. Well, because I don't want to waste your guys' time. But you have. This is wasting our time. Well, no, because the show is getting recorded. This is all going in the episode, so it's not wasted time. Yeah. Okay.

Well, going off of what Jeff said earlier, Andre the Giant used to call everybody the boss. He used to say, hey, boss. That's a quick one compliment. Yeah. Obama used to say, Jesus Christ. Deaf's a quick one compliment. Obama used to say, Jesus. Deafening. Loudest it's ever been. I'm wondering if I can sort of

just have the headphones here. Oh, for sure. I can probably hear it from your headphones. What I have to let you guys know is that we were fine the whole time. What? No, what I interpreted as six minutes. Was this a prank? No. Was six hours. Was six hours of free disc space.

Okay. So have you never, and I don't know how this company runs, but have you never done sort of a, someone says, hey Jeff, here's how the things work. Yeah. Here's what I'm also realizing is that Miles is off camera on all three of these cameras. What we're going to need is that. I'm going to need to just hang on. Luckily we have the vlog.

We have this one going still, but I might have to end it right now because we don't need it anymore and I don't want to take up the space, right? Sure. So it's been recording this whole time. What you guys are failing to understand is that we are good to go. Okay, you almost spilled coffee. Should. Sorry, you almost just spilled cold brew. A whole glass of cold brew.

Yeah. All over the wire. I like kind of hit this one. Yeah, it almost went over the headphones, the wireless keyboard, and yeah, ultimately the audition session as well. Should we do like a shift down? Well, no, because then that's going to fuck the whole thing up, right? You're not on any camera. So should we just sit over here?

You were on the vlog on my phone. Which is off now. Which is off now and not a good frame to be in. But what if you move that camera over a little bit? What I'm going to do in mere seconds when you guys wax amongst yourselves is I'm going to shift this camera towards Miles. Just the Y? No, also the fucking single.

The double. Right? So that's a single on Allie right now. Right now, that is ultimately a close-up on Allie with a little bit of, it's dirty on Miles. Yeah. It is dirty on Miles. And on the love seat that I'm on, are we getting a two shot of me sitting next to an empty chair let me go to that one that's gonna be a lot of empty space a lot of miles

just sit here so should i just move over there well do you be my guest be my guest see if the microphone's even on yeah because i don't know if this microphone's on because you told me i didn't even need to hear myself yeah i didn't even need to hear and i actually have headphones this year i actually came into your studio and i said can i hear myself. Yeah. I didn't even need to hear. And I actually have headphones this year. I actually came into your studio and I said, can I hear myself? And you said, you don't need to hear yourself. Can I hear myself think? Thank God Miles is here. What do you mean?

Like an actual producer. What if I was Jake Johnson? What if I was freaking Marissa Tomei? He would have rolled his eyes and walked out. If you think that I wouldn't have shown up an hour and a half early to Tomei, then you're fucking shitting yourself. So you think that my time is not as important as Marissa Tomei's? Your time is objectively not as important as Marissa Tomei.

That's really good. That's just a combination of two different names that don't have anything to do with each other. What we are going to need to do is I'm going to need to fix the cameras. And you want me to move. Ali, why don't you talk about dating in L.A. while I affect these cameras? Unbelievable. And so I shouldn't be moving. Let me just.

Seems like he's going to move. He's going to move the camera. It's all you, Allie. Okay. I was off the grid for a couple months. Now I'm back on the grid. So far, it's not going well. Grid wise.

That's. Yeah. That's about. That's my dating update. App-wise. I took a couple months off and I was like, what if I just meet someone out in the wild, organically old school? That's preferred.

I don't mean to cut you off. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm going to have to stand up and affect the other cameras. And long story short, I didn't meet anybody. You didn't go on any dates? No, I didn't meet anybody. You didn't go on any dates? No, I didn't meet anybody out in the wild. So now I'm back on the apps doing chit-chat fodder. I actually do.

A lot of people ask me questions about this on my show. Really? Perfect person. Huge shout out. You might as well plug it now because I don't know if we'll ever even get to it. We might even have audio at the end. Exactly. We're careening towards a cliff.

Sounds like we have about four minutes. We should get it all done out of the way now. Six minutes of footage space. Or six hours. Yeah. Who knows, right? But I often tell people if they have an interest to go to the location where that interest is. And then that's how you maybe meet somebody.

Which, like, if you take all of L.A. and you boil it down to, like, your geolocation, percentage-wise you probably have less in common than if you're like, I like dice and you go to a Dungeons and Dragons store. No, totally. Yeah. I ran into you yesterday out in the wild. That's true. Organic. That's never happened to us before.

Literally. This is crazy. I was, it was after work, and I was getting a burrito by the Mexican food pop-up stand in front of the grocery store by my house. It's one of those stands that's like permanently there. Permanently there. You gotta wonder what the legality of that is. Yeah, is that coded? Yeah, I'm not sure, but it is my favorite. It smelled great.

It's really good. Why were you all the way in Hollywood? Not sure, but it is my favorite. It smelled great. It's really good. Why were you all the way in Hollywood? Well, that's what I thought was confusing was because all of a sudden I look and I see Amir, Avital, and then two of their other friends there. Famous or?

No. Okay. And I was just like, this is so strange. And also I just want to note like my outfit was like post-work. I like walked there feeling very confident that I wouldn't see anybody that I know so I was dressed like Christmas pajamas yeah I was wearing like a red sweatshirt bright green pants like I was very sure I wasn't gonna see anybody and then I see a mirror laundry day clothing yeah like I was not prepared for a run-in and then uh Avital was like oh I was, that's so weird that you're here. I'm getting food here at the stand. I got a burrito. And then she said, we're getting food. And I, that stopped at the point in my brain. And I was like, that's so weird that you'd come all the way to my

neighborhood. For this burrito. Yeah, to go to the stand in front of the grocery store by my house. I can't believe that the word spread. That's amazing. And then Avital was like, no, we're, we're like walking to a restaurant. Yeah, we're going to a ramen place nearby that stand. Although the stand was probably better. It smelled great. I mean, that made way more sense. I like was so, I couldn't believe it, but yeah. Wow. Yeah, it's funny

because after you recorded a person last time, I ran into you five minutes later at the Whole Foods. Really? Yeah. Imagine recording a podcast and then five minutes later running into that person. We had already spoken for an hour and a half We were talking for an hour and then I was like, hey Thought that was

My Bond of the Week is We were having so much fun I feel like it was really vibing We had a good time talking about seeing each other in public It didn't even seem like it was slowing down either We were ramping up. It was getting good. Don

Marie Saltis. Who is that? Glad you asked. It's probably fine if we don't know. I'll say fucking James Gunn.

Because he's a James with a gun? Yeah, why not? Whatever. It doesn't matter. I'm going to go Addison Rae. Short of a Bond girl, became Bond. Yeah. I'm going to go Mandy Patinkin.

That's good. That's really good, actually. Like sort of a Logan-style X-Men, but naked Bond. Yeah. I'm gonna go Mandy Patinkin. That's really good, actually. Like a retired, like sort of a Logan-style X-Men, but naked Bond. Let's go back to you guys running into each other. I feel like that was a little bit more fun. Well, now it's hard to ramp up again. Like, you grinded us to a halt, and now you're like,

get back to 60 miles per hour. That's not really how conversation works. That's how cars work, though. They stop and start all the time and nobody complains about it. But you start getting a little carsick when it's like so fast, so slow. Fast, slow, fast, slow. By the way, I have a question for you, Jeff. Oh, God.

I guess I was just wondering if you could explain to me just sort of the year that trembled you played Phil. What's that? This is sort of like, I guess I just had a couple. This is Jeff's resume. This is SAG-AFTRA, full email, full website. Where did you get that? Just Google. Like, this was sort of just available for me.

Yeah, but that's like a really old resume. Well, I just was curious that you put your high school theater productions on it. Right, because that's like, that's I think the first resume I ever made. How the hell did you find that? So you thought that like, I'm a casting director. Can you show that to the camera? Yeah, so this is just.

Yeah, I'm looking at this. I didn't help you do any of this. Were you SAG after at the time? Yeah. Having done only high school musicals? I did Lonely and Horny. That's on there? No.

That wasn't SAG. No, it was. Oh, yes, it is. Yeah. Supporting Lonely and Horny. That's on there? No. That wasn't SAG. Yes, it was. Oh, yes it is. Yeah. Supporting Lonely and Horny. And then I did the hosting job with College Humor, right? Musically. Beat the Q. I don't think that's even on. HeadGum Live is on there.

Beat the Q is on there. Yeah, that's how I got into SAG was Lonely and Horny and Beat the Q. Jesus. So basically Amir got you into SAG. Yeah. I didn't even know I was in SAG. I can't believe you're in it because of me. You might not be in SAG was Lonely and Horny and Beat the Q. Jesus. So basically, Amir got you into SAG. Yeah. I didn't even know I was in SAG. I can't believe you're in it because of me. You might not be in SAG, but it was a SAG production. You listed six high school theater credits.

Ooh, what are they? Six. Well, he played. The Year That Trembled, we should say, by the way, was a really, really bad play. Yeah. About a earthquake? by the way, was a really, really bad play written by a local guy in Cuyahoga Falls or whatever about the Vietnam War and draft anxiety.

I was depressed that semester because every night I had to cry over my dead buddy from Vietnam in play rehearsal. You were 15. 6 to 9 p.m. And I'm having to like induce tears. Yeah. About a veteran.

I get that. So. You're just a 16 year old in Ohio. Yeah. Afterward you're like going home to play video games or whatever. To do homework. Okay. All right.

I guess, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I just thought like I guess what did you feel that a casting director would be impressed by to see on the resume, theater-wise, high school style? Right. So what you have to understand is that I had no idea what they wanted to see. Because how would you? Right. How would I when I was, I think, 19?

Although you had moved to L.A. Sure. So you, like, you had an understanding that, like, I think, 19? Although you had moved to L.A. Sure. So you had an understanding that the stuff you did in high school probably didn't matter. Yeah. But you didn't do any other theater. So why don't you look at that and then take that whole section off and then tell me whether or not it would be too sparse. It would be three lines. You wouldn't even.

A whole page. Yeah. It's borderline lorem ipsum dummy text. Exactly right. It just happens to say musical text. Is it even a resume without the high school theater credits? I guess I also have a couple concerns about the accents

listed. Brooklyn, Indian, British, Southern. Let's go one by one. Brooklyn, I guess. I took a dialect class to do Brooklyn guess. I took a dialect class to do Brooklynese. You took a dialect class in high school? In high school for one of

the theater productions he was talking about. What's the next one? Indian. I don't know. I definitely lost that. I used to be able to do it. Maybe a little offensive too. I think the East Indian accent that I knew how to do was just like a poo.

Got it. And you thought... I think, you know, if I can't do it, who can? In terms of brown paper bag testing it. And British. Of course. That sounded like the Brooklyn one again. It sounded like Brooklyn. What about that?

Like when you said it, yeah. Ain't British, yeah? I feel like that's what you sound like normal. Yeah, you kind of. Those accents looked good on a resume, I thought. Oh, interesting. Doesn't matter whether you can do them or not. Well, British is just right post and center

underneath Yooka-Layla. Right post and center. Oh. You play the Yook? Of course. Yeah. I'm peeking and I'm seeing professional yo-yo player.

You didn't know that about me? No. Oh, that's not like a funny ad lib that you thought like, oh, this guy's funny. Like a casting director would be casting for New Girl.

Yeah. They'd see professional yo-yo player and think like, what a funny guy guy like he put professional yo-yo i've had some insane yo-yo videos on youtube really he's a teenager that's kind of awesome though national competition level yo-yoing that's so cool that's true that's really cool never made a dime off of that so you can do the trick where you make like the string a triangle and then the the yo-yo goes alley that's child's play what's that one called? rock the baby or something

you get to a level where you don't even have names for the shits you make up your own so what were the standard ones like walk the dog is a classic it were like the standard ones? Like Walk the Dog is a classic. Yeah. No, it's not about standard ones.

No, I'm asking like... Let's start at the basic and then lift up to like where you got to. So you guys go to like a professional dance recital, right? You're not seeing if someone can do a pirouette. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like... He said yeah. He said yeah yeah it's like a whole routine

so it's sort of miles are you familiar with poetry in motion um i don't know that was sort of my whole thing but with a children's play thing. So you were doing sort of a live theater one-man show with the yo-yo. How did that? What's that? You can ask, but I was wondering how it started. Yeah. Why are you looking at me?

He said you can ask, and then you didn't ask. But he asked you a question first, so I just thought you'd answer that, and then I'd go. What was the origin story? You got a yo-yo for Christmas. I saw this guy on the Ellen show and it was incredible.

He had two yo-yos, one in each hand and he was going like crazy on there. I mean, they were going nuts. Middle-aged women were fawning over this tween. How old were you? What's that?

How old were you when you watched that? Yeah. I was probably like 10. And then you were like, that? How old were you when you watched that? Yeah. I was probably like 10. And then you were like can I get a yo-yo to your parents? Correct. First yo-yo? It was before you were playing Joe Pendleton and Heaven Can Wait.

Years before, yeah. I guess I'm mostly like you can yo-yo really well. Sure. I'm surprised that you have a skill that you haven't used for content, making TikToks. You haven't. We did a whole sketch. We did a Jeffrey the Dumbass yo-yo episode.

It was one of the first ones we ever did. Maybe it's time to bring it back. Yeah, I just think it'd be good TikTok. There are a bunch of yo-yoers that are famous on TikTok now and they're all people that I knew from the yo-yo circuits. Gentry Stein. That's kind of it, actually.

They just, like, stuck with it. When was the last time you yo-yoed? Take a break. We'll be right back. Oh, yeah. be right back. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years, I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple.

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exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. Wann wir back? German accent.

Yeah, German is not German is definitely not on there. The last time I yo-yoed in general? Yeah. Or like competitively? In general, like the last time I yo-yoed in general? Yeah. Or like competitively? In general.

Like the last time you went... Oh, here's a good story actually. I did an episode of that CBS sitcom, The Neighborhood. And they had... Who was the... Oh God, what's the guy? Mark Sandrowski was the director. And he's apparently...

I didn't know who he was. But apparently he's this big time multi-cam director. Because there's only like four multi-cam directors in hollywood and he did something uh his last week of the show every season he does something called the sandrowski challenge uh which is just a cast and crew talent show so it's like the whole everyone who works on the show uh and the cast all brought in a talent and I had already wrapped but the AD was like, we were doing a talent show tomorrow. You should come back and do something.

Do you have a talent? And I was like, I used to yo-yo and he's like, you have to do that. Oh, so what's already wrapped like you already did a rap for him and he's like, this is really good for the talent show. You already like rap like, all right, that's a rap on Jeff and he doesn't have to shoot anything anymore. sometimes there's just like flops you know what i mean you remember like ferris cut that out or whatever yeah that's like an example of like i'm just gonna cut it out because it was like not keep. I think it was fine.

He was just saying something. Double entendre style. It's sort of like, oh, wouldn't it be funny if he rapped instead of he was finished. I had already rapped, but he's like, come back and do it as a talent. I'd finished the job. Got it.

And you said, no, I don't want to yo-yo in front of all these strangers. That's not really fun. I'm not gonna come back. I've already rapped. I'm not gonna come don't want to yo-yo in front of all these strangers. That's not really fun. I'm not going to come back. I've already rapped. I'm not going to come back with a fucking yo-yo. I said, let me know when and where to be. Were you close to anybody on the guest or crew? Or were you just sort of a day player with like no connection?

And you're going to come back and yo-yo for a group of like... Ladies and gentlemen, Jeffrey. Who? People are going to crafty eating. You accidentally hit someone? Oh. Sorry about that. It's fine.

Just stop. But that was the last time I yo-yoed was in the talent show. And how'd you do? Third place. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Can you do? Third place. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Can you do two at a time?

Lefty, righty? I can, but not impressive. Like, impressive to you fuckers, sure. Yeah. But not to the yo-yo community. Right. I couldn't place at all in any competition. But you're, like, so much better than a non-yo-yoer.

Sure. Even still. Yeah. And you still have multiple yo-yos at your house? I think I have three what kind I have a yo-yo factory North Star Jensen Kimmett sort of mainstay mm-hmm I have a caribou lodge yo-yo works something I forget what it's called and then I have a plastic yo-yo that I got for free in Wichita. How much do they cost?

They're like $80. Is there like one that's considered the gold standard, like a $1,000 yo-yo? Is there like one skateboard that's the best to have? No, it's like how do you like to ride? How do you like to fucking throw? Yeah, so how do you like to throw? I like it to have a certain balance to it, right? I like it to be a little bit counter it, right? I like it to be

a little bit counterweighted on both sides so that there's some stability in the mish. That way, when you're doing all these little fucking things with the string and the weight and it's going all around, hither and thither, popping up and out, you're like jumping over the shit, right? Yeah. I was under the impression

that every yo-yo was $5. Yeah, same. Did you say already? I wasn yo-yo was $5. Yeah, same. Did you say already? I wasn't really listening. $80. $80. $80. Sorry.

I didn't mean to hit on either of those. I meant to just do this. But yeah, I got third place, and then Max Greenfield came up to me, to just do this. Okay. But yeah, I got third place and then Max Greenfield came up to me and he was like, you smoke weed?

Whoa. He asked, Max Greenfield asked you if you smoked weed. While he was yo-yoing. He actually got in the way. I was walking the dog and he walked up to me

and hit his ankle. He boxed me out physically and tried to go for my... Hey, do you smoke weed? He was trying to citizen's arrest you. Yeah, it's like a performance-enhancing drug. Why did he ask that? Like he wanted to get you in trouble? No, he wanted to hang out.

Whoa. No, he did not. No, he asked it in the way where it's like, you smoke weed, we should hang out. Really? Yeah. He didn't actually mean it. I also thought that Gillian Jacobs was just in the lobby,

and I thought it was Beth Behrs. Who was also at the talent show? What is this? I don't know who Beth Behrs is. I thought it was Beth Behrs. Okay. Who's that? Also, why bring that up now?

Yeah. Discuss. okay who's that also why bring that up now yeah discuss it is the seventh week of the WGA strike did you get anything for third place I

is there a prize yeah I guess Max Dangel coming up to you is maybe the prize I got this is true third place or first place

the prize was a thousand dollars and who won that oh my god the hair and makeup department which was like eight people, so they didn't end up leaving with that much. They did like a whole coordinated dance to Blow the Whistle. Was it good or was it like, hey, let's fucking give it to them? It was like kind of really good.

They all wore fedoras and they were like. And like everybody was like. Yeah, into it. It would have been sad if you beat them. And then my thing was a 30 second nothing burger. Second place I think was like some kind of healthcare benefit. That is psycho.

Sorry. You're competing for healthcare? Second place was a breakdancer who won dental. And everyone else gets jacked. And then I got Place the break dancer who won dental And then I got this sort of plastic participation trophy nice yeah How old is too old to clean your kids room asks parents magazine you sir our parent That's correct, and that is a parent of a fuck Take another break.

We'll be right back. Oh my God. Two breaks. So quickly back to back. We don't have any ads on this episode. Yeah, but I am a fa. I guess did you want to

come in from the break and then I'll say I'm a dad. We just did. Yeah. I'm a dad though. guess, did you want to come in from the break and then I'll say I'm a dad? We just did. Yeah. I'm a dad, though. Yeah, you asked that before the break. Is Aloe a sham? Sorry.

What? You asked me a question. Oh, yeah. How old would your kid have to be for you to be like, hey, I'm not going to, like, clean up after your ass. One, two. One? The kid can't even walk. Yeah he can clean no fucking sit on a sponge and

scoot scoot i'll probably say when he's a teenager i'll probably have him clean himself 14 that's old you don't think like nine asked and answered let's move on is aloe a sham alley no i like aloe aloe vera yeah yeah do you have an aloe plant in your home no but i am prone to sunburn so i'm familiar growing up we had a lot of aloe. My parents were always slicing it off and doing the little squeeze thing on us. I think my dad used to call me Aloe Vera. It was like a joke nickname when I was a baby. It's kind of an aloe vera.

Aloe yellow is cute. That's good. What's the name of your kid? Julian. Julian. Hey, Jude. Right? Julian.

Sorry, I don't know if you misheard, I don't know if you misheard. I don't know if you misheard him. Me or... But we call him Juju sometimes. That's funny. It's like baby Juju. Have you taught him Juju on that beat? No, but I think that's a great idea.

What if he becomes like a dick? So I've thought about this, and I think that he won't. I actually met like like, a detective. Because then it would be Juju on that beat. Oh. Like, I guess if he becomes a, like, I'll probably be like, hey, like, law enforcement can be tricky.

Why? I feel like I ask interesting questions. But you move on so quick. Because you guys don't give me anything. I'm confused. I have a question. Do people call detectives dicks? Yeah, small town dicks, private eyes. Private dick. Scalded.

Never heard of that. Dick Tracy. Well, that I know, but that's his name. Interesting. Can I? We had Hollywood Handbook on the show on today's episode, so last week when people are hearing this. And I did one of my rice parodies,

and I feel like I didn't get anything from them. Oh, I'm sorry. Do you guys want to hear it? Yes. You thought that you would get, like, a big reaction from those guys about your rice parody? Do you want to hear it or not? In Jeff's mind, it ended, and they gave him a standing ovation.

Yeah, like one of those guys. We're usually in character, but this drew us to absolutely want to stand and praise you. Yeah. So you don't want to hear it. No, I want to hear it. Yeah. Are you finding it? Or what?

We're lobbing up our casting. Oh, you're not going to sing it? Well, I lost the lyrics because I deleted them. So you're just going to play the clip from last week? Is that not interesting? Yes. He's scanning through the episode. Okay, here we go something that

right this is new just something to get the energy up yeah I see you rice consistency of sand when you're charting old grains. Oh girl, you've got to scald till the rice overcooks. The hoisin will glob to my hands when you're burning the rice. Cauterized grain sear thus scalded rice is caked with char scraping up burnt rice

and damaged rice is scalded rice is searing the searing the searing the rice I'm not going to react to this type of thing. Searing the, searing the, searing the us. How's the album coming? Well, we've got Rhythm of the Rice.

We've got We're Gonna Fuck Up Some Rice. We've got All of the Rice. We've got Scalded Rice, which is what this one was. And then there's one more that I'm forgetting. That might not have made the cut. And I guess the, like... Oh, rice burn. You latched onto this type of joke and brand how many years ago?

And you've sort of been milking it dry since? Probably five. Five years? Two. No, pre... No, R was pre-pandemic. No, Rhythm of the Rice was December 2021. But when did the exactly rice shirt come out? That's the predecessor to that.

That was years and years ago. And you've been sort of playing the same drum. Yeah. The joke is just replacing the word right with rice. Yeah. That's the whole joke. That's rice. That's it.

Just for that shirt, though. Because this one has like, it's a little bit. And it's just been that over and over, though. No, because this one had a lyric, cauterized grains seared thus. I feel like that's sort of the natural evolution, the elevation of exactly rice, which, yeah, it's just like rice instead of right. But cauterized grains seared thus. This tells a whole story.

It's deep. It's like baby shoes never used. The saddest story in six words or less is you. So tell me about Dino. What year was that? It was, well, it was again a university

high school and then in parentheses HS. Favorite oil? Go. Olive. i'll also go olive but avocado i think i want to give a special mention to been using avocado oil spray that's kind of a game the spray is nice yeah it's very futuristic something i sometimes i do worry about having a pressurized spray can like near the stove. Yeah. Because it could blow up or something. I get a little afraid.

Yeah. But that's never happened, right? You think that's ever happened? Oh my God. That was the biggest burp. It smells awful. What did you eat for breakfast? It was deep.

Fish and a Diet Coke? I think I'm going to be sick. Did you know that was coming? That was awful. Don't be mad at him. You're looking at him with an angry grin. That wasn't even carbonated. That's cold brew.

I think you just got to say excuse me and move on. Excuse me. Don't even carbonated. That's cold brew. I think you just gotta say excuse me and move on. Yeah. Excuse me. Don't be dismissive. Welcome to So What? This is a segment about the least important news headlines of the day. Does coffee go bad? The answer is complicated.

I think it does. So what? Oh, yeah. So what? But I think it does. So what? Oh yeah, so what? But I think it does. Yes or no, too. Lake Oroville is 100% full as California reservoirs are revived by historic rain and snow melt. So what?

That's really good, actually. We were in a drought. You're not giving us time. We're supposed to all say it at once. a drought. You're not giving us time. We're supposed to all say it at once. So what? You're not supposed to really react. So it's not really a segment.

It's just a call and response. Yeah, it's sort of a chant. Like Temple. Walt Disney's former L.A. home is now renting for $40,000 a month. So what? So what? So what? It's pretty cool.

It's in Los Feliz. You can get pictures. It's pretty big, yeah. Would you move soon? We've talked about this a little bit. Would you consider moving soon? Selling your place? Maybe you make a hit? Yeah. It's in Los Feliz. It's pretty big. Would you move soon? We've talked about this a little bit. Would you consider moving soon? Selling your place? It's not a good time. It's not a great time to sell,

but your place is sort of a hut. You used to be a wiener schnitzel, yeah. Hasn't changed much, though, because you didn't get the home equity line of credit. You didn't put in the work that it would take to sort of personalize it thus from... It was turnkey. So what? So what?

Anchor Brewing ceases national distribution, discontinues beloved Christmas ale. So what? Oracle lays off hundreds and rescinds job offers in health unit. So what? These are all pretty important. The drought, the economy. Yeah.

You think if coffee grounds go bad, that matters. Somewhat interesting, yeah. Me too, me too. Um... What? I don't know the fucking dissonance, cognitive

or otherwise, between what I think would make for interesting conversation and what you guys end up responding to or not. Yeah. Interesting conversation. You read headlines and you expect us to say, so what? That's not an interesting conversation. There wasn't time for us to conversation.

Yeah. All right. So new shoes? Yeah. New sneakers, Amir? Yeah, those are nice. Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah, I've actually gotten a lot of compliments on these. Oh, they're cool. You're sort of a big shorts wearer, huh? I like shorts with a sweatshirt when it's like in the 60s out. I often am self-conscious about my legs. Yeah, especially this is the most I'm self-conscious is because the cameras really are picking up a lot of leg. That's why I had a pillow like this earlier.

You were hiding your leg a little? I was doing a little hide. And then I'm like, you know what? I can't fucking do this anymore. I have to show the world who I am. Jeffrey, do you wear shorts? No. I feel like shorts...

I historically never wear shorts because I don't think they look good on anyone. But I recently found this guy. His name is Alessandro Quarzi. And he's this like 70-year-old dude. And he has the coolest style ever, right? And he does this thing where he does white Bermuda shorts, white tee, light jacket. And it's a really cool look.

You don't wear shorts because your legs are pencil thin. And you look top heavy. It's noticeably bizarre. So even if it's 100 degrees out and we're in a heat wave, you'll wear jeans. And it's because you have thin ankles. You have thin ankles. Sorry, thin ankles. Yeah, that's what he calls them. Thin ankles.

Yeah. It's really hard because the diameter of my ankles is less than that of my wrist. I can see because you're sort of cuffed. I can see your ankles from here. Right. And I see what you mean. They're pretty narrow. Do you want to get a DIY angle of that with your phone?

Yeah, absolutely. And we can splice it in here? I mean, it sort of looks like a Like a straw coming out of a glass. Kingdom Hearts style. Yeah, that's how skinny... Or like Doug Funny style, where it's just bones coming out of a wide opening. Great Doug reference.

Yeah. Allie, shorts? Oh, it's complicated. I'm the same. I get self-conscious. But I just bought a pair of new shorts that I'm going to try to wear in the summer. I got them from Amazon.

I'm looking for, which I don't want to do, but I've been looking for a specific style of short. And it's very, very hard to find. So I went with a cheap pair. And I'm like, this isn't interesting. But yes, I have two pairs of shorts as of last week. Oh, my God. Up from zero. What's going on?

Jeff is moving. So he's clanking around with something. He's looking for something. He's turning on the TV for the first time. He's just bored and he's going to watch Price is Right while we record or something. Tubi or... I just downloaded Tubi for the first time.

What do you think? I'm watching Stars on Mars and I'm having the time of my life. What is that? It's a show. You know, but you are loving it. I love how you lit up. I came to life. Yeah.

Okay, so it's a bunch of celebrities, and they are all fake living on Mars in a space shuttle. Like a reality show style escape room. Yes, and they have to vote each other out. But it's not just, like, it's, Marshawn Lynch is on there. Whoa, I love Marshawn. Lance Armstrong.

Jesus. Who, one girl, I'm not going to say thought, he was Neil. Neil Armstrong. Yeah, and was like, I cannot believe, like, is he a judge?

I'm so confused. Is he a judge? He's a judge of Mars you were just here right she was like oh we were we were actually we like

Allie kind of Allie kind of lit up and we were like having discussing a pretty funny show we were discussing something so good Allie was really

kind of like lighting up. I've never seen Allie like that. Yeah. But yeah let's talk about this picture that you have that's kind of cut off. Man sitting down. Really poorly. It's horribly. Yeah why is it in the middle of the screen?

Welcome to Dadcore or Sadcore. Okay. So Miles you're a father. Yeah. Amir, you're like a podfather, as they call you. I haven't quite seen the evidence of that. I would say that's more like a Jake and Marty thing, but yeah.

Why a podfather? Like you're the podcast godfather? Like a godfather, but for podcasts. That's always, to me, been Jake because he's sort of a content king. No, we know what you think. You already said it. You said it doesn't really

ring true for you. I always think of it as a Jake and Marty thing. And then he brought it up again. You said, yeah, I don't consider. So, yeah. Your opinion is noted. Yeah.

I was just going to say that. i know what you're gonna say it's that you think of jake as more of the pod father right not quite pod father i was gonna say he's sort of the content king which to me is more important than even if you were the podfather because content is king. Yeah. This is dad core or sad core. Miles, you are a father. Yeah. I have a six month old. Do you feel like it has changed your style of doing things? No.

Really? I feel like it should have. Next segment. Next segment. Forget it then. Let's talk about forget it aloe again no do you feel like it's changed your like

physical style your like fashion your aesthetic oh no I mean I wanna dress more fashionably I think it's like because I'm so tired

and I'm like okay I don't when I go out into the world I do that much less yeah and so when I go out I actually do wanna have a better sense of style.

So I think I'm trying to take fashion risks in a way I didn't before. And maybe that's because I have a more determined sense of self. Same shoes I've ever seen you wear, same jeans, same socks, same glasses. The shirt might be new, but it's pretty. It's one of my wife Sarah's maternity shirts.

It's actually kind of a fashion risk. I know. And I think I'm... I mean, I guess I'll let you decide if I'm pulling it off. There's no right answer to these. I just want to get your guys' opinions on whether these following outfits are dadcore or sadcore.

Took the note from Hayes and Sean that I need to have more actual space for participation. So there's no right answer. I don't have an agenda with these. Let's fucking use them as a springboard for fun conversation between the four of us. Okay.

Is this a celebrity or is this just a man? That's actually Ryan Reynolds' body if it matters. That's Ryan Reynolds? Yeah, that's him and free guy What the fuck is happening? Dad core. Miles? Yeah.

All right. I mean, again, it's not like a guessing game. It's like, oh, I think this is dad core because of the loafers loafers or because you know what the loafers make me think of is my dad because you know he didn't always used to be around when I was until I was probably 14 and then he was around too much you mean when you were doing you were doing Saturday night

you were playing Dino or was that hidden in this picture you were playing Craig when you were 14 I wonder if he remembers the name of the characters another break there's no way there's too many ads three breaks so this first one was dad core um dad core or sad core well i feel like it's quite fashionable but i want to say sad core because the man on the right looking at him looks pretty sad. And you know what?

I know who that is. That's actually, I didn't see this before, but that's Wei Ko of the Rake and the Revolution magazine. He's a watch influencer. That's actually kind of cool. He dresses really, he has a great watch collection. He actually made a, Cartier made him a piece unique Tonks and Trois. I'm going to go with Sadcore because if the top was red

and the bottom was green, that's what I wore when I ran into a mirror at the taco stand in front of the grocery store by my house. Sweater and big pants. And that was my reaction.

You were... Confused. Oh. I'd just like to flag, too, that the one actual passion that I shared just now was steamrolled by Amir. Not by... I mean, I guess, like, it maybe was steamrolled,

but it wasn't by Amir. If anything, it was Ali, but I don't think that that's, like, a legitimate concern. Dadcore or sadcore? I actually really like that sweatshirt-jeans combo. And the shoes are cool, too. I mean, this guy seems pretty fucking cool. Is there a blue jacket, too? My dad wouldn't wear this.

Sadcore. Yeah, sadcore, I think, because my dad would not wear this. I think it's really fucking awesome, actually. Yeah. I think it's really cool. I've also heard that jeans are kind of out. Yeah. And I'm wearing that cut of jeans, I feel like.

But you're kind of wearing the same cut. No, I know. But these are jeans I need to kind of throw away. This one's interesting because the posture is also bad. I think he's sort of standing upright. Do you want to describe? Because audio listeners, they can't see the picture. They'll see this.

Oh, it's just a guy. Sorry, audio listeners will see this. They have synesthesia. Yeah. Yeah, that's really cool. Dad core or sad core? Okay, so I'm going to do sort of Jeff's job, I guess, but this is someone wearing a tan jacket.

That's a woman, right? Yeah, I think so. A woman wearing a tan jacket, gray sweater, brown pants with little checkers on them and black shoes. Tired. Of you. This one is a little sad to me. Yeah, sad.

Beige and gray. Kind of sitting by a lake. The Under Armour sneakers are not ideal. Sadcore. Dadcore or sadcore. That's pretty cool. That's sadcore, I think. Yeah.

Mustache. Again, jeans, because Jeffrey's not really saying anything. Jeans, gray shirt, blue shirt. My dad would not wear this, but cut that out dad core my dad might wear this accidentally yeah you know what i mean like he'd sort of be like oh it was what was available that i you know this is kind of like an updated jerry seinfeld style i was gonna say like an updated jerry yeah i was gonna say that jerry loves a layer like an updated jerry seinfeld Seinfeld Stiller Garcia Ferreira Can you guys fucking help me out

I feel like I was just trying to You said updated Jerry Seinfeld And then you kind of wanted to take credit for it Or something I was like oh yeah me too I thought of that first I'm having a nice time I am too Dadcore or sadcore I was like, oh yeah, me too. I thought of that first. Yeah, I was going to say that. Yeah. I'm having a nice time.

I am too. I am too. Dad core or sad core? So that's me. And the last... Is that you? Yeah, that one's me. That's me because I remember thinking that blue bottle coffee looked like how I was dressed. Yeah.

Oh, it is. Yeah, that's a good point. But then when I posted this on the internet, everyone was like, wow, you have really wide hips. And I was like, I've never been body shamed before. And it was an avalanche. Yeah, it was sort of an interesting insight.

People said you had wide hips. Yeah, and it was not just like one. It was like, wide hips, wide hips. Yeah, I could see that. Oh my god, why are his hips so wide? I'm like, I didn't even consider that. I guess now that I look at it from a fresh angle, new eyes, the waist is wider than like the torso. I think it's a long shirt. Yeah, but some people like that though.

Let me finish. Excuse me. I think it's because it's a long shirt. Yeah, and it's like getting pushed out by the pants. I do like the blue and brown. And I still think it does resemble the coffee in an interesting fashion. Do you think that's because of the audience you've cultivated that those are people that are going to call you

out for having wide hips? Yeah. Because I think if I posted a photo, I don't know that people would say I had wide hips, but I don't think that's because of my hips. Interesting. Because when I posted that, I didn't think that either, but I think it just took one to open the floodgates. And now this is known to me as the wide hip photo

hey jeff he's not that's obama throwing out the first pitch at a white sox game you recognize the photo that because you've seen it before um jeff what do you think seen it for mm-hmm Jeff what do you think now I can speak oh my god so this is an interrupts everybody skin he can dish it out and he literally cannot take one 100 of it back it's not thin skin it's just you said I shouldn't talk so well I did actually did let me finish. What I heard was, Jeff, why don't you shut the fuck up?

I didn't say that, though. I heard, Jeff, nothing you ever have to say is interesting for a show. That is true, but we never would say that to you. For a show? For this show? Dad core. Yeah, this one's dad core

because it looks like the jacket is tucked into the jeans. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. But it was a good pass. Is that a Banksy? That's also me. Oh, that's you. That's also me.

Dad core or sad core? This is what I'm telling you. It's the hoodie with the shorts. Yeah. Sort of my spring aesthetic. Is it also, and I'm not trying to say that your hips are wide in this but I Just think your shirt is a little long

This one shirt it just shirt feels the same length of long Do you find that because sometimes my issue and maybe that's a torso thing is my torso is very long Mmm, when I raise my arms, I often show my belly button. Yes. Yeah, do you ever does that happen to you? It used to happen more because shirts used to be smaller and shorts used to be baggier. Now shorts are smaller and shirts are baggier. Across the board. It did flip-flop. Fashion is like steering more towards shoes.

Look at that. It looks like I have two knees on my right knee. It does. I have a double knee thing going on. But even my shorts now are shorter than those shorts and that was like a year or two ago. You can see I'm wearing a mask my only criticism of what you just said was

you sort of pointed at it and you were like this is what I'm saying shorts and hoodie but it doesn't look good so that would be like a contractor being like hey here's the wrong way to screw in a nail. This is what I meant. Why was this picture taken?

You're just showing a drink? And that's a really good question. I think because it was a very big, bright wall. And I was wearing a bright outfit. Who took the photo? Marty took the photo. Are you wearing a mask showing your drink

yeah did you ask if you showed the whole photo it makes a little more sense and what I do have to point out is that this is the whole photo it's not

there's no way no that's the screenshot from your Instagram that is the whole thing yeah that's the whole photo that you have but the photo that Marty took was a wide shot

of a very colorful mural no it wasn't that's it it's funny that Marty took it the only thing I cut off was your face. It was not more of the wall. It looks like a mom took a picture of her kid for the first day of kindergarten. Jeff didn't frame out the head.

He framed out the head. Your left hand feels so awkwardly placed. That's a dummy hand. You can tell I'm wearing a white glove. My real arm is sort of touching my dick, but you can't see it because I have a dummy hand. You can tell I'm wearing a white glove. That looks fake. My real arm is sort of touching my dick, but you can't see it because I have a dummy arm. That's being extended way too long. I like basically touching my dick,

and this is my way of hiding that fact during a photo. Dadcore or sadcore? Also me. So which is it? It's fucking fine. It was 21 degrees below zero in Winnipeg. I'm wearing? It's fucking fine. It was 21 degrees below zero in Winnipeg. I'm wearing jeans and a fucking jacket.

Skinny, too. I thought it was Jeff with those ankles. With those ankles, it looks thin, but who did you ask to take this one? That one was Jake, but this was, again, 2018. And again, you're holding a drink alone. It's crazy. Yeah, why are you holding drinks are you i don't know why

i'm constantly i'm not really constantly three times in the last five years but like when you cherry pick the moments they do all look very similar what i will say is that these are just the first couple photos of you on your timeline that show the full outfit so it's i don't know if it's cherry picking. Full fit, yeah. I don't usually do it, but I guess if you're talking about the last five years, you can find a couple for sure. I do still have that jacket.

It's very warm, or at least the warmest jacket I have. It's a good jacket. It's a solid jacket. Not me. Dadcore or sadcore? Who is that? What's that?

Is that a famous person? No, this is like an L.L. Bean ad or something. I'm going to go secret third option, which is this outfit is really gay. It's very gay. Because of the mock turtleneck? The mock turtleneck, the red jacket. It's giving like lesbian rebel without a cause. Ooh, it's a very cool outfit.

On the subject of body shaming. I like it. Amir, has anybody ever mocked your turtleneck? Let's see that neck. Go to the one here. Yeah. And then do that head roll, but do it at 0.25% speed. 0.25%?

0.25x. So 1.40th the speed. 1.4th. So 2.5% 25% 1 4th We were both wrong What happened? He was moving his neck.

What happened to the energy and joy in the room? He told me to fucking model my bad neck. Slowly. Twice. If I had to pinpoint it, it probably had something to do with that. Yeah. It's just, it was a joke. Yeah. At my expense expense I took it personally and you kind of have been like kind of like sabotaging a mirror because you put a bunch of photos of him in this secretly to you so you guys would

make fun of me without knowing sorry trying to like so discord between me you yeah yeah and maybe this is a good time to plug the HeadGum Discord. I think it's discord.com slash HeadGum or headgum.com slash Discord. It's one of those two. Are you... What goes on in the Discord? Dadcore or sadcore?

Also me. This was me. We should say that the shorts say crunch. Yeah, they were actually free shorts given to me by Jake's little brother once when I needed shorts he was like you can just keep them I do think that's a hand me up by the way

cause Micah's 12 years junior you were given free athletic shorts and kept them and wear them a lot I feel like that's sad they're good shorts they just don't have pockets. I guess I'm just curious. Did you think that this was like a good photo to post when you posted it?

Did you feel – how did you feel people – Was this a picture or a video? Picture. This is – So this is me learning how to ride a bike. I don't know how to ride a bike. Oh, really? Yeah.

So that was the story behind this picture. It's like – Sadcore. For the first time, however long it was two years ago that's great i'm trying to figure out for the first time how to ride a bike and this is me sort of moving yeah and what what's the saying the saying is it's like learning how to ride a bike meaning it's really fucking easy no it's like yeah it's like the meaning of that muscle memory yeah you never forget it i don't think it was that easy. Let's see the next picture. Uh-huh.

That's just a... Dadcore or sadcore. Yeah, so that's the save the date to my wedding, which you obviously can't show slash have. It's also the email address. Personal information, email, pictures. Wait, wait, wait. It's just everything here I don't want out there at all. The picture is on your Instagram as well.

That picture is fine. The picture is fine. I don't want literally any information. I don't even want this part of it in it because it's such private laundry that's being aired, basically. I mean, I feel like it's fine for people to know that you're getting married. People already know that. Sure, but not necessarily the information. I mean, I feel like it's fine for people to know that you're getting married. People already know that. Sure, but not necessarily the information. I don't want any of this out there.

You don't want them to know. This happened on Real Housewives, and it did cause a big problem. Can you speak to that? Teresa Giudice of Real Housewives of New Jersey was getting married to a man named Louie last year, and she invited Ramona Singer, who is Real Housewives of New York, so a little crossover to the wedding.

Ramona went on Instagram Live, said, oh, I just got my invitation for Teresa, which showed the whole thing, and Teresa had to change every single detail because immediately everybody was- People are trying to find out where it is on Live. Yeah, that would be irreversible. And they talked about it in a season. This you'll have to cut. This you'll have to cut.

This you'll have to cut. Cut. I'm just saying, out of all the housewives, you don't want to be Ramona. I will say, I've shot in that studio before. It's a good studio.

It's a great studio. It's a great chair. That's actually where I did my ass photo Oh it is Not that unit but the same building Unusable this whole part I don't know what to tell you Are people aware that you're engaged? Yes but they obviously don't know all the pertinent information

To be wed or just in bad business? Next Next picture but they obviously don't know all the pertinent information. To be wed or just in bad business? Next. Next picture. That's sort of it. Plugs, what do you guys have? What do you want to point the people to? The floor is yours. Let's start with Allie.

Listen to new episodes of Gayotic, the podcast hosted by the band Moona. New episodes every Wednesday. And if you're in New York, come to our upcoming summer HeadGum Happy Hour shows. I believe on July 9th and then August 24th at the Bell House. And then July 1st at Caveat. And follow me on Letterboxd. Allie Kahn.

Hell yeah. I'm definitely going to follow you on Letterboxd. Please do. It's my new favorite thing. I haven't been. I've been watching a lot of movies recently, but I feel like it'll inspire me to watch the good ones. Yeah.

If I follow lots of people. And Venmo. Oh, my Venmo is Ali-Khan. How much money have you gotten from that? I feel like it's tacky for me to say, but I will say. I'll leave it out. I just want to know. I've, I've.

Over a hundred? No, I don't think over 100. Oh, that's not too bad. No. I had plugged my Venmo on the tripod that I produced for the Try Guys. Do you still do that? I do, yeah. Even after the scandal?

I just feel like you have your own engine. You have your own vehicle. I mean, this is a really good point. Coal burning. But I do still produce it even after the scandal. And I did my venmo on at once and i did get uh what's that for producing how much do you get 50 an hour you think i get paid hourly you're salaried yeah a mirror did you see the beginning of this fucking show? I also produced three shows there. Yeah.

You're an amateur, man. You're an amateur. By the way, you think he's going to give you a salary? You can't even figure out the tech. You recorded in a dummy episode earlier. You're a zero. You're less than a zero. You're lucky you're getting paid at all.

Fucking doxing guests, putting out private information information and then asking for a raise? Doxing the guests is as a host. Fine. Pay me hourly as a host. But as a producer? What do you produce? This. The first six minutes

of the show was you setting up for the show. Yeah. Miles did half of it. Honestly, we should be paying Miles. And by the way,

what I was gonna say is my Venmo i people would venmo me and then i would send it to the requests yeah so because people would also request me so it was just a free flowing defend my honor here sure without telling me casey and kevin and rochelle switched the entire zoom setup to recording live into an audition fucking session okay i didn't know that was going to happen, so I sit down and I'm ready to do what I do know how to do. And now it's like, okay, this is audition.

Let me make sure I know how to do. You just press the red button, which is fair. Yep. What was that? I said, yeah. So I got that down. Yeah, and the video? The video.

I was kind of sabotaged because, you know what? Shout out to Chef Kevin, but he did say, let me start a new session for you. Yeah. And you know what, he actually did, because he was talking about audition. Yeah. There's a new session.

Well the video mixer just records onto an SSD, right? Yeah. And then I just didn't know what was going on. Miles, what do you got? Watch Perfect Person or listen to Perfect Person wherever you get podcasts. Merch. Yeah, I just launched my merch.

Whoa. I've got a bunch of different stuff do you have a hat I don't do you have a house I rent the hat it is okay to lease a hat but I will say

have you said that before yeah that's actually a shirt it says that it's a shirt that says that but yeah there's a crew neck I did a whole thing there's a little promo thing

I worked hard on that's very like culty and weird and I released the promo on Instagram you can check it out on my Instagram at milesbond

why didn't you do a v-neck? because it's not 2003 oh my god everybody everybody let's get into it yes that's what I do like 2003. Oh my God. Yes. That's a shit I do like.

You're a fucking joke, man. You're a fucking joke. That's all you had left was the style shit, and it's gone. It is ghost. It's zero. follow me on tiktok okay bloomer okay bloomer oh and i'm also making tiktoks actually so perfect person uh both but mostly my own one i made talk about how my nose is big and I can't drink out of a champagne glass. I got a lot of really horny comments.

Oh, because it like stops the glass. And then all the comments were really kind of thirsty. Because that's like a kink for people. Big nose, big. People said, here's my seat. That was a Hiddem Original.