The Headgum Podcast - 160: Oh-Oh-Oh-Ozempic!

Episode Date: July 7, 2023

Geoff is in a crazy mood on today's episode, as Amir, Marika, and Casey join him to discuss the Ozempic jingle, Willy Badonka, and the Headgum studio's shitty layout. Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Formerly Raycon. Formerly Pixar. What's the list of advertisers we've lost? I can't believe the... Has Jake had anything in a minute? What time are we at?

20. So I wouldn't have to... minutes wait. No, I thought there Ten let's do it, but do it on the next one do it on this one You can do it between ones The game the name of the game is high neighbor orye Neighbor. Have you guys ever played? No. Obviously not. Really? No. You came up with this game based on your sponsorship. Or lack

the wrong. On your walk over here. Can I guess what it is? Yeah. Bond of the week. Brian Windhorst. We started? Maddie Matheson. That's not bad. Well, actually, I think that's mad. Wait, does that mean Marika can't hear the...

Michelson? Marika, can you not hear the sound effects? I don't know. You don't know? Okay, what about this? It was... Yeah, it kind of sounds like I'm hearing it from someone's headphones playing it really loud. Interesting.

That makes sense. That's all right. I think that's going to have to be all right, right? Because I don't want to keep setting shit up. There's too much tech in the studio. You're playing the audio off of your laptop? Yeah, and you guys are hearing it crystal. It's coming through in stereo for you all.

Yeah. What was that, Amir? It's not getting to Marika. What'd you say? It's not getting to Marika. I know. Is your laptop are you on this Zoom call with Marika on the laptop or just the studio computer? I know what to do.

Audio settings. Output volume all the way down. Now it's gone. Okay. Marika? Yes. There we go. And then you can hear this. Just double checking. I sure can. All right. It's a shame we didn't get that on video.

Worst claps I've ever seen. Out of rhythm, out of touch, 40 years old. You don't bring the heat anymore like you used to, man. Aren't you 40 and a half now? No, that was just a tweet. Yeah, on July 18th, I'll be 40 and a half. That was just a tweet. It was only a tweet.

It was only a tweet. I'm still fucking bringing it. He's got it, dude. Are you kidding me? 40 and a tweet. I'm still fucking bringing it. He's got it, dude. Are you kidding me? 40 and a third and he's on top of shit. What the fuck? I didn't even hit that one. This is so fucked up. It's like Marika's in control of it all of a sudden or something,

man. Bond of the week. Let's fucking get this shit over with. I'm gonna go with fucking Taylor Edward Johnson or whatever. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know who that is. Yeah. Who? Shams Charania. Okay. Maddie Matheson. Okay.

Marika, who is it? Come on. Also the bear related Wolf Bolter. Nice. All right. This shit is tired. All right. And so am I. Rightoulter. Nice. All right. This shit is tired, all right?

And so am I. Right? Yeah. Yes. We started off strong, and then all of a sudden there was like, by the way. Started off strong. It's like we're in the 83rd second of the show. This is still starting off.

Also. What? Not to bring back another production. The noise. Marika, you can't see this but the fucking chair is like making a squeaking sound you're banging it against the wall okay i'm away from the wall look at that related to what you're trying to hit the wall but from a further distance you know what i'm saying is that this is supposed to be an audio network and we can't even get shit under wraps this is a video studio what's that This is a video studio. What's that? This is a video studio? Yes!

And speaking of video, we restarted so that I could hear audio. And now it's just Jeff's camera being off in the Zoom. So I can't see Jeff, but in theory I could. He just hasn't turned his camera on. Hide non-video participants. How's this, Mariko? Is this what you want? Yes, sir.

There it is. Oh my gosh. This is so fucked up. Great outfit. Thanks. I actually really needed to fucking hear that. It says Jack, aka the same as what Amir's

coming in here with. I had the tweet joke. I had the tweet joke. The name's Jack. Jack shit. I like that. I want to talk about this. Have you guys

heard about this? Do you know who you're doing an impression of when you do that? Conan Gray. Yeah, that's what I thought. Conan O'Gray. Sorry, that really derailed it. I know I always say overlapping dialogue.

We're waiting to hear. Have you guys heard about this? Is Jay Leno? Never mind. Oh. Oh. Oh. People with type 2 diabetes.

Have we heard of Ozempic? No, I wanted to talk about this and the whole order of this shit got fucked up. Was that a commercial or was that actually what you were trying to play? Did you add that to the soundboard? I think that's a real Ozempic commercial, but he just took the... Before Ozempic was what it was today, I found out about this recently, they had to

advertise this shit, right? Now, everybody and their mother wants the fucking pill, right? This fucking jab stick. It's a shot. Marika! fucking pill, right? This fucking jab stick. It's not a pill, it's a shot. Marika!

It's been four years! I'm sorry. I really am. That was too much. I just I have an agenda when I come into these things and I really need to fuck it. I feel this need to push through.

You know what I mean? Why are you happy now? You have too many emotions. A chair squeaking up a storm. People with type 2 diabetes are excited. People with

type 2 diabetes are excited. I don't know if you guys saw this when it was on the air, but yes, before everyone and their mother wanted fucking the jab stick, Marika, there was a commercial where they licensed the fucking song, whatever, Oh, Oh, Oh, It's Magic, and it was, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Zampic. We heard the commercial twice now.

Brownlee! We're not even, what, seven minutes into this shit? I can't get a word in a twice case. You have to monologue. I thought the show was a dialogue. Have you guys heard about this? No, it's a monologue and then we get into dialogue. Yeah, you said, have you guys heard about this?

And you won't even let us reply, right? And instead you're like, I have to sing the commercial. Oh, oh, oh, Ozympic. Yeah, there it goes. Off key for sure. Off key, but I hopped the fucking thing. I hopped the fucking octave. You hopped the octave?

Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, Ozympic. Not necessary. Which octave did you hop? I don't know what key it is. It's just matching whatever the fucking commercial said. What movie do you guys think of when you hear that song? Because to me, it harkens back to a movie I watched a lot growing up.

Maybe Casey's the only one who's seen this movie, though. To me, you harken back to the idea that I should probably draft a will, a living will and testament, because seeing you is seeing the idea that I should probably draft a will, a living will and testament, because seeing you is seeing the picture of unhealth and disorder. That goes on. And so for me to see you. Happy Gilmore. Oh, yeah.

It's in Happy Gilmore. Yeah. They use that song. It's probably my favorite of the Happy Madison. Hey, Marika. Ouvra. Yeah. Marika, who. Ouvra. Yeah. Marika, who am I?

Wait, sorry. I feel like he's trying to impersonate me. Yeah, I can't really tell. Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore. I just said I haven't seen that movie. What are you saying? What's the line? Which part?

Yeah, which part? Well, you know, that wasn't a line, but it's the fucking thing where he hits a putt and he's like... He hits a putt? Someone's at the door. Someone's at the door. FedEx. Oh, it's FedEx? We don't have enough people on staff.

That's what people are talking about. I think Marty's coming together. Marty's coming together. Thank God. No, it's Shigar Gavin and the fuck... What was that? What? Mariko, what?

Sorry, there's too many fucking screens. Nobody can fucking see this. I'm gonna take a video right now. You do look like you're in a cage. You also, like, don't need to look at screens to hear. It's interesting to see from this side what I usually look like in our new setup. Do you guys see this chaos? This is like, no one would be fucking at ease from this angle.

There's too many chords, there's too much technology. I'm not a technology guy. Yeah, I kind of feel claustrophobic over there sometimes. Yeah, it's a small space. Oh, oh, oh, Ozempic!

No, Shooter McGavin, right? He's always like, he's like, damn you people, this is golf! He is always like that. Yeah, he's always pissed. Who does that remind you of?

Who does Shooter McGavin remind me of? It reminds me of Shooter McGavin, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Zampik. All right, Marika, here we go. Three, two, one. We're going to continue the lyric. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Zampik. Keep it going, Marika.

You know, I don't know what to sing next. You didn't play the song. There's no way she would have known. No, it's not knowing. It's not knowing. You just wanted me to make up a song. Music improv on the spot. Wait, Marika, do you have a middle name?

A-Lon? A-Lon! You knew that. I did. You knew that. Yeah, well, you know, you want to plug your letterbox? I don't mean to be upset.

Yeah, it's at Marika A-Lon. Also, follow me on Blue Sky. If anyone's on Blue Sky. Oh, you're on Blue Sky. Hell yeah, I am. How is it over there? That's Blue Sky. It's the new Twitter started by Jack Dorsey

let's just get a fact check on that before anybody says something incorrect I don't need to join another one yeah is it any good like is it worth being on it's kind of cool right now we're all just chilling just vibing do you post same thing in both places I feel like some people do I haven't posted a lot

on either place to be honest can I just say Marika I love the energy you're bringing but Amir can you just I feel like some people do. I haven't posted a lot on either place, to be honest. Can I just say, Marika, I love the energy you're bringing, but Amir, can you just... I'm curious. Can we quit it with the cross-examination? Because she's trying to have fun, and I don't mean to offend her honor. I thought you were going to say, can we quit it with the cross-legs? Well, he's not in shorts, so I think it's fine.

I learned my lesson. Fully stretched. Let's get comfortable. I wouldn't join another twitter uh i think when twitter's dead uh good and then easy out yeah and group chats are where it's at it's a it's a micro social network that that's just people you know why would i want a hundred thousand likes on a tweet when i could get five ha-has on a gif that I sent to my friend?

The clout. The clout? You think the clout of all the likes is still what drives us? Yeah, like if a celebrity likes my tweet, that'll thrill me for years.

But if my friend friends ha-ha a joke I make, I'll forget that. If my friends ha-ha a joke I make, I think I did a good job that day. Like, I did my job. My friends ha-ha'd. Are all your friends funny, or are you like the funny

one in your group? I think I have a lot of funny friends. Like, I got a lot of show business friends. Yeah, they're always on, like, those kind of people. Yeah. What about in high school? Were you the funny one, or was it, like, a group of class clowns?

I made funny videos for the pep rally, so, uh, yeah, like, people knew me for, like, oh, he makes those funny sketches. Yeah. So you were the funny one. I guess so.

What about you two? Were you guys the funny one in your friend group in high school? I didn't have friends in high school. That's a good answer. Jeffrey? Yeah, kind of like Casey. Jeff, you look mad. Is the issue that I was having a conversation?

Sorry. I look mad. This is my resting phase. This. Sorry. I just. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Right?

You guys are always like, you never give us fucking room to speak. Here I go. I just give you naturally the floor. And you were shooting daggers at us I was just looking at you what are you trying to say that I have beady eyes yeah resting Aaron James

Casey I do like that for you that's very the Fablemans of you yeah I really related to that part of the Fablemans when everyone's like we don't really like this guy but he makes the movies and we like looking at ourselves on screen. Isn't that what they still say about Spielberg? He's fine, but he makes the movies and I like to be on camera. Yeah, that's what Amir Seth Rogen said about being in the movie.

You guys don't see this shit, the double standards that go around this office? Yeah, that's what Amir Seth Rogen said about being in the movie. He's doing the same thing. You guys don't see this shit? The double standards that go around this office? Amir falls silent and starts staring at Marika. Staring daggers, as Casey said. And nobody says anything.

Nobody says, oh, what's wrong, Amir? I don't think he's staring at me. Fuck you guys. Now you're looking at your phone i'm pulling up a news headline that i'm just gonna cut this out grace cut this out over 122 million under thick haze from chicago to dc as as Canadian wildfire smoke spreads across the U.S. Don't I know it. Is that happening again?

Yeah. So there was like that time like three weeks ago where the sky was orange and it looked like it was raging and then it went away, but the fires have just still been there and the wind hasn't carried it south or something? That I don't know, but I did get an air quality alert today.

Sorry, I was trying to hear the answer. Yeah, sorry, but I actually had a joke that Marika stepped on and I was going to let it pass, but yeah. Marika was talking when you started the joke and she stepped on it? Over 122 million under thick haze from Chicago.

So is it bad again in New York? Is it the orange cloud? The smog? Is it all that bad? No, no, it's fine now. My air quality alert currently, or the air quality is saying 36, which is good. So I don't really know.

I've got a follow-up question. People with type 2 diabetes. You know. I've got a follow-up question. People with type 2 diabetes. You know. Over 122 million under thick haze. Yeah, don't be worried.

No. There's a whole. No, you need to hear. It's a monologue joke. You guys hear about this? It's not a joke. You've only said the headline. The way it works is you say the headline and then you make a joke. I haven't gotten to fucking finish.

Yes, and guess what? Let me play back the tape you know what here's the audio everybody shut up for 10 seconds i'm gonna put it in let's hear it over 122 million under thick haze from chicago to dc no i can't suggest i'm gonna put in the first time why do we where are we stop talking yeah why don't you just say the joke so we can react to it? Edit point is. Oh, Zampik. Can I predict the punchline of the joke?

You may not. That would be too fun. Yeah, let's hear it, Casey. What do you think it is? Thick haze. But deliver it like I did it. Thick haze makes me think this is turning into some sort of like, and that's what they call, that's Chet Haze's new nickname or something like that.

No, it's not. That's not good or that's not the joke you were writing? Isn't it Chet Haze? It's not good or the joke. I'm just giving a punchline. I'm not writing it out. What were you going to say? Over 122 million under Thick Hze from Chicago to D.C.

as Canadian wildfire smoke spreads across the U.S. I mean, Hollywood Handbook was just on the show, and I didn't think haze was that thick. I knew it was going to be a Hollywood Handbook haze joke. I picked a different haze. So Canada's been on fire. Holy shit. Let's get into it.

Get started. I'm all started. I'm all started. Get started. Let's get it started. Ha! We haven't done one of those in a long time, and I thought it would get the energy up,

but clearly we have two old hags on the fucking thing, as in have a great summer. These wildfires have just been going on for a month. old hags on the fucking thing as in have a great summer. Let's talk about the summer solstice. An entire month of Canada on fire. That's the number one news headline from a month ago. That's a really long time. No, he's just reading the news

from a month ago. Oh, it's news from a month ago? No, that was actually today's top story I agree with you but yeah Um Okay Did you guys see that uh Or sorry

Did you guys hear about this We're still doing the monologue This isn't a monologue it's just interesting shit to talk about Oh my god No did you see that sea crest is at the helm of Wheel? Sure did. I didn't see it. This is news to me. I feel like we didn't talk enough on yesterday's stream.

Sorry if anybody missed it, but we did like a fucking game show. Or whatever. We did the Quiplash. I thought you wanted us to talk about Ryan Seacrest and get to it

what's the joke oh she is who? Vanna White wait so the news is Seacrest is the host of Wheel of Fortune yeah also did you guys know that Wheel of Fortune

is based off like a medieval torture device or something? I think you're thinking of Iron Maiden. That's also a medieval torture. It's both. You're thinking of the guillotine. Kato 9 Tales. Are you pulling up notes or are you just scrolling on your phone now?

I don't know. I don't know what you guys want to fucking see from me anymore. This is the breaking point. Just let me go through the shit that I get raked over the fucking irons for. Alright? If I bring to a wax episode, people are like, you didn't prepare anything. If I come with too much of an outline, people are like, you didn't prepare anything. If I come with too much of an outline, people are like,

we don't have any room to navigate this shit. If I just take a back seat and let y'all go, you guys are like, Jeff, you seem pissed. I'm sorry that my silence speaks volumes. Is that what you want to hear? I have a... Yeah, that's what I wanted to hear. I thought of an Ozempic song.

Okay, so here we go. Oh, oh, oh, Ozempic! I forgot I had to say that. I forgot that's where you're ending. I hope there's at least one fool out there who is watching this shit and being like, wow, I feel sorry for what Jeff actually has to deal with. They did say that after the live stream, the 24-hour live stream. A lot of people came to your defense.

Did you get that, by the way? Did you get the subpoena? Which one? Sorry, I'm suing your ass. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Ozempic That was easy Sorry, the sounds are on a delay Continue, Marika

Can I what what? He said go back to the Ozempic This is hard This shit is hard Have you been like Hitting any of the buttons on the switcher or are you just not doing that at all? I am, but it's fucking like, you know, this is here goes to Casey and I don't know when he's going to stop talking. What the fuck laugh was that? That's not your real laugh.

Are you talking about, are you looking at me? Yeah. Why are you looking at me? Yeah. Where are you looking? Here. I feel insane. Three Miami restaurants made the 50 top

pizza USA 2023. The 50 top pizza 2023. I read that verbatim. I read that verbatim. There's a list of the top 50 pizzerias in America, and three of them are in Miami. So there's a list of digressions that you've steered us off course towards? I think that was absolutely on topic.

Really? Yeah. I was going to say my sentence regardless of what you did. Right. And that's sort of the crux of why you're not a good host. This is interesting. Wordling. Per Closer,

my dad bought me a new body for my 18th. Now I'm addicted to surgery. Sad to hear. Yeah. No, this is true. Nicole Zavala didn't like how she looked. So she sculpted a whole new body.

And has now spent over 160 euro on nips, tucks, etc. That's very little amount of money. Yeah, it's like $180. Sorry, 160,000. Got it. Even still. Would you guys ever do any work? Everyone's entitled to do what they want with their own body. No, that's an opinion though. I'm saying for your ass,

what would you do if you were going to do anything? To my ass specifically? Two different questions. One, would you ever? And then if so, if yes, what would you do? Let's start with Amir just because he probably has the most. Well, he got LASIK. Yeah, LASIK is one.

Yeah. That is elective surgery, but I don't know if it's invasive. Doesn't matter. What do you mean it's not invasive? What do you mean? Don't they like put lasers on your eyes? Well, they create a flap. Basically, I don't know if you knew about this.

What's that? Yeah, I know. Didn't you get LASIK? Why are you wearing glasses? Yeah, you got LASIK. These are for UV blocking and blue light blocking glasses. When I have one, two, three, four, five, six screens in front of me, I don't want that all on my eyes,

especially when they're extra sensitive because guess what? What LASIK is is they make a small little incision and they create a flap they open up your fucking cornea and then they laser off all the shit that's grown underneath the ocular surface that has made you sort of not see well there's a there's a seven screen right behind you also yeah but that's not going into or onto my eyes. But I think it might be reflecting off of the inside of your glasses into your eyes. All right, you guys talk amongst yourselves.

I have to sell something on Offroad. What? I'm trying to sell a bar. What does that mean? A bar of what? Of soap. Used? $2 for a fucking sixer of dial. What does that mean? Of soap. Used. $2 for a fucking

sixer of dial. You guys talk amongst yourselves. Those were my lyrics. Marika! The Olympic song was going to be Now I can't even remember.

You gotta figure this shit out, guys. I can't even remember. You got to figure this shit out, guys. I can't fucking do this. We're going to commercial, I guess. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day.

Like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe. every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe. And their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands. I like to drink it first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water. I'll have my AG1 and then I'll have my coffee and it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate

your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Zambic! People with type 2 diabetes are excited about the potential of once-weekly... Never rise to that sauce! Yeah, that's it. That's actually not bad.

Thank you. That's actually really not bad. Oh my god. Did we already do Bond of the Week? Again? We did. Okay. We've done it twice today.

What'd you say? We've done it twice today, actually. Have you eaten today? You have the energy of someone who's caffeinated, but you haven't had anything to have. Jim Carrey back there. Yeah, he brought me closer to him. Word of the goddamn day! Casey, what'd you just say?

You're turning into Jim Carrey back there. Carrey! And, uh, who's the Carrey of the four of us? What? Because I think I'm sort of a Charlotte. I've never watched an episode of the show, so I don't know what their

characteristics are individually Marika me neither, but I think you've never seen Carrie of the four of us Jeff do you think the droop that you think drew carry is a true carry Yeah libertarian ass And the biggest dumbass award goes to... Rochelle. What? Why?

What do you mean, why? There has to be a better way to do this, right? Why are we, like, setting up... Rochelle has nothing to do with this setup. Yeah. I didn't know that so why did you say that she was a dumb ass I'm starting to get a little self-conscious because now I'm starting to look like the ass right right yeah let me ask you guys a question how much much do you know about the old city?

Let me tell you a story. Somebody stop the show. I don't know. We have ad packages. This show has to go on. And I'm not saying the show must go on, you know. I'm saying the show exists at least for another half a year until we finish out the ad packages. If you've got gripes with the producer's desk, you can bring it up with me and Anya and leave Rochelle out of this.

I don't want to put you guys out, though. You guys are my friends. I don't know Rochelle. I know Rochelle. Really? Yeah. Okay. Why do you look so sullen?

Because I don't want you making fun of freelancers either I am a freelance either Marika why don't we give you the floor for a second it's time for Marika's brothers man boy where to begin seven minutes on the clock it's not that long

if you make it interesting. Here we go. Seven minutes? Yeah. Oh, and there's a countdown time, which is really... You're eating into your own time. Actually, no, this makes me think... I guess it's not a countdown.

This is counting up. Fair enough. Casey, do you want To come see Barbie with us Yeah I'll see Barbie Cool Let me get back to you on The time

We're gonna go to the Grove Yeah you're gonna do Oppenheimer first right Sorry I didn't mean I really didn't mean that this time July 4th Oppenheimer first, right? I really didn't know that this time. July 4th? No. She's going to be here when Oppenheimer

and Barbie come out. Yeah. But what are your dates? Like the 19th to the Sunday. Okay. The 19th to the Sunday. Yeah. We all know what that means. She obviously has no plans to see you, so you don't have to ask what days she's going to be in LA.

Well, we're going to Comic-Con. Casey and I are taking our classic road trip down to Comic-Con. We're taking our classic road trip. We're bringing Emma Foley with us this time. I love Emma. Emma's great. I just got new tires on my car, so the ride's going to be a dream. Are you going to stop anywhere along the way?

LA to San Diego? The ride's going to be a dream. Are you going to stop anywhere along the way? LA to San Diego? No, we got to drive down extremely early because we have to record a podcast the same day we drive down. Whoa. What time is the podcast? Friday.

So it's a weekday. So we got to drive down there at like 4 in the morning. Really? It's at 7 a.m. the podcast? No, no, no. The podcast is in the afternoon, but there's Comic-Con traffic going down, and it's also during a weekday, so there's like regular... Regular LA to San Diego.

LA to San Diego. We actually have to drive down at 4 a.m.? Look, that's just a number off the top of my head. I'm in producer mode now, and I want to be able to get there, check into the hotel, get equipment ready, and head down to where we're recording. Too Scary Didn't Watch at Comic-Con Live. Actually, I don't even know if we can announce that. I mean, we can. Okay, Grace cut this out. I'm sure it'll be fine by Friday.

Wait, what time did we leave last year? This doesn't come out this Friday. This comes out next Friday. Last year we... What do we have for this Friday? You mean Grace. Marika, last year we left doesn't come out this Friday. This comes out next Friday. Last year we... What do we have for this Friday? You mean grace. Marika, last year we left... Don't worry about the release schedule.

...on a Saturday. How long have we been doing this show? Because we were listening to Formula One Qualifying. Qualifying, yeah. Down. Oh, do you guys want to plug the pit wall? Is this the end of the episode? No.

Well... Yeah, I got a pit wall question for you, Jeff I can't believe you didn't start with this Before we get into that Oh, I don't want to check No, no Now I can't see Marika anymore Jeff has pulled up

A video of himself Got some kind of hat on Shit ass Okay hang on I'm just gonna do this and then Marika You can react to the sound Here we go We'll tip your camera up and I can look at the screen

Which camera? Oh okay great Can you turn off the metronome? Yeah I'd love to not hear that anymore Come with me Oh my god I'd love to not hear that anymore. Come with me. Oh my God. And you'll be in a world of pure flagellation. Bend over and you'll feel all the physical sensations.

If you want to smack someone's ass, simply grab a switch and do it. Anyone you want to flog them, want to slap their ass, there's nothing to it. There is no life I know to compare with pure flagellation. Getting spanked, you'll be free.

He's not wearing any pants. If you truly wish to be spanked. I have so many questions. So start. So let's get through them. All right. Marika's druthers was a failure, let's say, by the way. You interrupted him. Yeah, it should have been this. I mean, let's just go back and forth, I guess, asking questions. One, why did you do that? It was for an audition.

That was for an audition? Yeah. For what? It's like a character thing. What character? Who was holding the audition? I'm not allowed to say it. That was a character?

Yes! Willy Badonka! What character? Who was holding the audition? I'm not allowed to say it That was a character? Yes Willy Badonka That was Willy Badonka The Willy Wonka of kink Okay So you did that for an audition And you can't tell us what it was for But you can show it to us

I didn't show it to you To reference the audition I showed it to you Because I was proud of it How many other characters did you do? That was the only one I could figure out Your entire audition was that? You could figure out?

Did you buy an outfit for that or did you piece together clothes? That cost me like $250, yeah. Were you wearing any pants? You didn't return anything? You can't because I wore it without, yeah. Yeah, underwear. So you still have those? Nope.

Clothings? Sure. So you still have those clothings? Sure. What did this have to do with you not showing up for two pit wall recordings in a row? I thought that if I showed you guys that, that you wouldn't circle back to the pit wall.

If there's one thing I love to do, it's circle back. Did you record that while we recorded the pit wall? Absolutely, yeah. You were also supposed to come in to record a headband podcast on Monday. That I didn't know. I deliberately recorded the pit wall? Absolutely, yeah. You were also supposed to come in to record a Headbun Podcast on Monday. That I didn't know. I deliberately missed the pit wall by accident. Yeah, I would also like to say that Jeff picked the time that we would record.

That's not true. He said, I will absolutely be there. I did say I would absolutely be there, but I didn't choose the time. I would never do that. You agreed to the time that we set. Was that also on Monday? Yeah, it was on Monday. Monday I was MIA, Monday in Yeah. Monday I was MIA.

Monday in action. So I was too busy. But you were supposed to be here. We were supposed to record in studio. No, we were trying to record on Zoom. Nobody could reach you. That was supposed to be on Zoom. And you were recording this instead, the video, the singing?

I don't think I know what you're talking about. You're talking about Willy Bonanca? Yeah. Yeah. Of course. The only video you showed us. I also do want to say that there is literally

a calendar invite that Jeff, you did accept that says the Headcumbe podcast recording in studio. On Monday.

Yeah. End of Marika's druthers. So. Definitely got a little derailed, but that's going to be all right. We're going to ride the horse back with another

hit of that good stuff, which is called O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- They probably won't watch the audition. Yeah. Because of the strike? I don't care. You don't care. You don't care that they'll watch the audition? I don't particularly care because what we just did made it all worth it to me. I see. Yeah. And you did see. What I was going to say before the fucking ad break is that I want to write a thesis about old Babylon or old Cairo.

Basically like ancient cities and why I should have been a part of them. You want to write a thesis about old Babylon or old Cairo, basically like ancient cities and why I should have been a part of them. You want to write a thesis on ancient cities and why you should have been part of them. Can't you guys ever just be like, oh, wow, good idea. I like this idea. Thank you. I just want to. When the ideas are good, I will say it. Like, would you go back to school?

No, I want to write it and present it on this show. Okay, then do it. I will say it. Like, would you go back to school? No, I want to write it and present it on this show. Okay, then do it. I'm going to. I'm just trying to like hold myself accountable and you guys. What do I have to do? Criticize it. Okay, in two months. Pure review of the shit.

In two months, do another Zona Gale-esque episode, but it's you reading your thesis. Okay, not two months, Marika. Three. I need three because guess what? It's the fucking summer. All right? I'm not going to spend my whole summer writing a fucking thesis. Working on your thesis. Okay, not two months, Marika. Three. I need three because guess what? It's the fucking summer. I'm not going to spend my whole summer writing a fucking thesis.

Then why are you interested? I am interested. I just don't want to do it fast. He wants to do it in the fall semester. I would like to do it in the fall semester, the fall term. My school quarters. So I kind of think in like September to December why

January to March can you guys if you're watching this and you're having as hard a time listening as I am being in this room can you comment like a fucking uh listening to what like my voice do you have a game or something Like my voice?

Do you have a game or something? Elan! Oh, Ozempic! Yeah, we're back. Plugs, what do you guys have going on? What do you want to point the people to? Let's start with Casey and then we'll end the show. Yeah, listen to...

Listen to this shit, man. We need softer chairs. Listen to the Pit Walls. It's a podcast that me and Marika do and Pyle is also a pretty good co-host and Jeff never shows up and always promises that he will. That's like my mid-year resolution. When does this

episode come out? This week? This one might get shit-canned entirely. Okay. A week from Friday. If you're in New York City, come to Hudgum Happy Hour on Monday, July 17th. It's gonna be really fun. Great lineup.

So do that. Listen to The Pit Wall. Follow me on Letterboxd and Blue Sky at Marika Elon. I'll also say Marika and I, like we said earlier, will be at Comic-Con.

So if you go to Comic-Con and you see Marika and I and Emma and you come up to us and you are in Jeff cosplay, we'll give you a prize. Whoa. And just know that they woke up at 3.25 a.m. that morning. So just act nicely. After seeing Oppenheimer and Barbie back to back. Yeah, keep that in mind.

Yeah. Because I'm definitely not getting back to Marty's guest house until like 12 at that rate oh you guys are leaving the 721 yeah yeah there's a lot of action on that one day every time i hear about something happening it's that exactly it's gonna be a stacked day there's follow me on like Instagram and TikTok

I'm at okbloomer what else oh Twitter I'm still there at bloominfeld not on blue sky though didn't quite get the invite to that Oh, Twitter. I'm still there. At Blumenfeld. Not Blue Sky, though. Not on Blue Sky. Bummer.

Didn't quite get the invite to that. And, yeah, listen to the HeadGum podcast on PocketCast or Overcast or wherever you listen, Spotify. Watch on YouTube. You can watch this on YouTube. Jeff? I don't know. What's up? What's wrong?

Why is... I don't know. I'm just hitting a wall with this shit. He gets so upset when other people are talking for a while and no it's not that you were talking it's that like the flow isn't good it's not fast it's not overlapping dialogue you think that's good when people talk over each other it's good for audio about you i like i like the the tone we've taken it kind of It's kind of drawing things to a close. It's kind of catching up with each other.

Yeah, it feels kind of congenial. I think at some point, Jeff, you should try to make yourself cry on this podcast. Yeah. Can you cry on command? I don't think so. Let's see if you can cry. Go to a really dark place right before. Yeah, should we all see if you can cry right now. Can you cry on command? I don't think so. Let's see if you can cry. Right now? Go to a really dark place right before.

Yeah, should we all see if we can cry? I'm not going to be able to do it. Your eyes are too dry? Yep. Chronic condition? Yep. How are you going to be cast in a major motion picture if you can't cry on command? I don't want to do drama.

I don't want to do comedy. What do you want to do? What do you want to do? Action? I want to get a bunch of money. Right. Right. So it's not even about the acting.

I like making people laugh. End the fucking episode. That was a Hidgum Original.