The Headgum Podcast - 165: Worst Episode Ever 4

Episode Date: August 11, 2023

Andrew Pile joins the show for another nothing burger. Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Yeah. You think that's still the strangest thong? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. There's no easier.

I tried four different ways how to do this. Here we go. Harvard Law just getting into Yale versus I Like Bush, which is vaguely political. Which one? That's the thing. It's open to interpretation. I feel like I would be most jarred if I saw this.

I'm like, oh, do you? Is that like a grooming thing? You pulled the thong back, cleanly shaved. So I don't know what to think. I still don't think anything is weirder than Harvardvard law in the moment all right yeah i think i disagree actually really I mean, it's another edition of the HeadGum Podcast with a very special guest, Andrew Pyle. Pyle, you were just saying that you have some news you wanted to share? No, it's actually private information that I wanted to leave off the show.

That's what you said. I thought you said leave on the show. I thought you said leave the news on the show. No, no. That's why I said it before we had started recording. Okay. Well, it's just sometimes you like plant ideas that we can like kind of call back to. Casey Donahue on the sacks.

Marika Brownlee on the facts. We've got a split party today down the party line in a way because we've got two hardcore Republicans in the facts. We've got a split party today. Down the party line, in a way, because we've got two hardcore Republicans in the studio. We've got two hardcore Republicans in the studio. In case he don't, you look at his face. Take a screenshot. And then we've got some good ol'

progressive liberals. I'm a registered independent. Are you kidding? No. Oh. You can register as independent? Yeah What's the point of that? Yeah So it's on the record

You like when things are on the record Is that fair to say? Sometimes I prefer some things to I think we should say Is that not where you live? No Marika What time is it there? or something to Avenue I think we should say Avenue Is that not where you live? No Oh

Marika What time is it there? 556 And then Pyle where is it where you are? Um It is

Yeah It's about 556 Pyle Why does it look like you're There's snow behind you That's grass I think it's just the light

I'm in the basement so it's very bright out. This is a very special edition of the episodes. Is that fair to say? I guess that's fair. Welcome to... Casey, what do you think this is going to be?

Well, I'm coming in real hot on my own headphones um well i know i know that anya said that you requested us specifically it's the study hall episode of course it's the study hall episode man we're gonna brush up on some topics that not a lot of people have studied. Is that why you're dressed like an English teacher? A cool English teacher. Thanks, Pyle.

Although a compliment from you is sort of like an insult from anyone else. That is exactly why I went with the professorial vibe, right? Can you explain why us? Can you explain why us? Why y'all? Y'all are the most studious amongst us. Is that true? You think Brad Hilde could handle this shit?

I don't know what's gonna happen. Brad Hilde is like a Karoak mountain climbing Dharma bum. He can't handle actually grinding, actually studying shit. Okay. Okay, or you agree?

Okay. Joel is busy. He's more of like an athlete. He's not so much a mathlete. And if he was a studier, he would be a mathlete because he's sort of more a STEM guy, right? He's not so much into the humanities, I would say. And he kind of lacks a certain humanity, we should say. Sure. Sure. Sure, or

you agree? Don't just say sure, say I agree. I agree with part of it. Pyle, how long did it take you to get your master's? I don't have a master's. Then why did we get him on the show? Why are you asking me? I don't know, we haven't had him on for a long time. People are requesting him.

I don't know. He's sort of my foil. You're requesting me. Well, nobody really, but people were making fun of you. Well, that's fine. We said something on the last week's episode. We mentioned you and then somebody commented Andrew Pyle. So I was like, oh, we should get Pyle back on the show, right? Last week's episode?

Friday. We scheduled this before that went live. What is this show if we're not doing the study hall theme. Why are we listening to this music? This is ambient music to study to. I feel like people are now kind of on the lo-fi beats. You want lo-fi beats? Yeah, to chill and study to, yeah.

Lo-fi hip-hop radio beats to relax slash study to. You guys happy now? Yeah. Because you all look pretty forlorn. Can we turn it down actually a little bit? Yeah, I can't hear anything. too yeah lo-fi hip-hop radio beats to relax study too you guys happy now yeah yeah because y'all look pretty for long can we turn it down actually a little bit yeah i can't hear anything god how's that hello i'd say even a little lower than that yeah this is not how a study hall is supposed to begin well it's ambient music i I never had study hall. You never had a free period? No, I had classes every period. So that's why you're on the show.

That's why you're on the show. Because you took advantage of every block you had. Just one second. Just one second. To better yourself. To soak the sponge of your brain in the fiery spum of joy and wisdom. Ugh.

What? A fiery spum? No, it's like a cum rag. My brain? Yes, because it's so absorbent. Let's just get into the study, right? Yeah, please. All right, let's start things off with a wiki roulette, alright?

So this is like Russian roulette, but instead of a bullet, it's sort of like knowledge. Does that make sense? Sure. Yeah, I feel like we missed an act of the show. You think this should be like after the break? What do you guys want? You want to relax and just chat? Pyle, what the fuck is up? Keep going.

No, the one update that Pyle had he doesn't want to talk about. What else has happened? When was the last time you were at Rosie's General? It's been a while. Marika's giving us the wrap it up hand gesture. I have a limited amount of time because my wife is getting a master's. In? And so she has class in an hour, so I need to watch the camera. I'm sorry, I just cut to black on the...

I didn't know you could do that. What about a still? Nope, we can't do that. What's she getting her master's in? We started an hour late because Jeff could not figure out his technology. Not Jeff could not figure out how his. This shit actually didn't work. Yeah, we called Anya in here and she couldn't figure it out either.

Well, that was the most hellish soundcheck I've ever been at. Soundcheck? Because it's just... This isn't the rock and roll hour, Pyle. It's just plugging and unplugging wires. It kind of is. We're listening to music. Between that, just explosions and claps to test stuff.

Paola Carosella. What? Is an Italian-Argentine cook, businesswoman, executive, and celebrity chef currently based in Brazil. Paola was born in Argentina, the daughter of a middle-class family. Her paternal and maternal... We're just reading Wikipedia pages? And we'll comment on this shit!

It's study hall, Paolo. Is this a game? Is this a game? Do you think studying is a game? Sometimes. Wow, where'd you go to school? It can be. If you're studying to be on Jeopardy. Okay, well that's not what's happening. It's actually a study hall. Where'd you go? Art school.

Oh. Massachusetts College of Art and Design. Masty. Mass Art. This is so not a good episode already. Why do I think you went to Emerson? A lot of people think I went to Emerson because I went to college in Boston and studied film. And most people in L.A. who studied film in college in I went to Emerson because I went to college in Boston and studied film. And most people in LA who studied filming in college in Boston went to Emerson.

That's fair. That's fair. Let's just catch up before we dive into the studies. So are you keeping points? No, there's no point. What would the points be? So you were just reading a Wikipedia page to us? And then we can discuss.

Okay. Have you ever been in a class? What's that? Or studied? Have you ever been in a class or What's that? Or studied? Have you ever been in a class or studied? I was enrolled. Hmm. Yeah.

Because, like, usually they say don't use Wikipedia for information. That was a decade ago, Mariko. Also, study hall is usually quiet. Quiet. Yeah. Okay, then let's be quiet. See how that good is for audio. See how good that is for audio.

Right? This is why we need to study hall. You guys didn't dress up at all. Look at Pyle. I'm dressed up. You didn't tell me anything about what was going to happen. Are those from Hay? Are those glasses from Hay?

I'm wearing new socks. I don't think so. Hay? Hay! H-A-Y! Yeah, I thought you meant these. I was like, hey doesn't sell glasses for your face. Well, you know what? For once,

Mariko is the one who's mistaken, right? I don't know. Maybe that's why we should brush up on some of our knowledge. Can you turn off this music? You said lo-fi hip-hop radio. I just want it gone. You want no music. No music. She was introduced to the kitchen by her grandmother.

What's her name again? Paola Carosella. Paola Carosella. Not Paola. How did you say it on this page? How did you say it on this page? Paola. Yeah.

Paola Carosella. Carosella. She was a judge on MasterChef. No. No? No. No what? Why is it important that we learn about Paula Carosello? Marika, you're on a trivia team.

You're actually on a damn good trivia team that I was on for a semester. You were on for like two nights, but yeah, we've been winning a lot recently. And how else do you learn knowledge by just fucking reading random shit on the internet?

Yeah, not this random. What do you want to read a book? I guess. Sure. I could. Really? Have you ever read a book? I don't really like reading books, but. I did do that. What book? Most recently? Yeah. I read Slouching Towards Bethlehem. Have you guys read that?

No. Joan Didion, Pyle? Yeah, Joan Didion, ofyle? Yeah, Joan Didion. Of course. It's a great book. White Album is better, though. Respond, dude! These ambient pauses. This is the middle of answering your comment.

What are you looking, like, where are you looking, Jeff? People don't understand. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine screens. Why not just look at your computer? Nine screens. Oh, look here. You guys are there.

So I'm looking here. But we're not on your screen. Yeah, your screen. Your screen has you behind you. Should we just scrap the shit? People loved the lunch and learn. People said, oh, Jeff, when he does a theme, the episodes are good. So I said, let me put on a jacket.

Let me study up on some knowledge. Soak the dry sponge of my brain in the boiling hot spum of cum. Why can't we play a trivia game? Oh, really? Okay, let's do that.'t we play a trivia game? Oh, really? Okay, let's do that. Let's play a trivia game. Alright, online trivia games. Oh, boy.

The ultimate online trivia quiz. Oh, okay. Okay or let's play? Let's play. Okay? Alright, here we go. Do you guys want to do

general knowledge or just history? Yeah, general knowledge. Okay, because we can also do entertainment, science and do general knowledge or just history or yeah general knowledge okay because we can also do entertainment science and nature food and drink geography or dictionary so i don't know which one's sparking joy general knowledge general knowledge reporting for duty was that okay in the 1995 robin williams flick what was Jumanji? A board game. Okay. Didn't even have to list out the answers.

Smartass. 19 points for some reason. Weird scoring system. The headlands that flank the entrance to the Straits of Gibraltar, not the rock, were once called the pillars of what? A. Apollo, B, Olympus, C, Hercules, or D, Zeus?

I like the ring of pillars of Apollo. That sounds nice. I'm going to go with that. Okay. Do you guys want to change the answer? It's majority rules, obviously. I kind of like Zeus. What's that?

I kind of like Zeus. Zeus's that? I kind of like Zeus. And I like Olympus. I'm going to say Olympus. That was incorrect. What was it? It was Hercules. Oh, that was my second guess. By the way, it doesn't just say you're wrong on here. It actually just...

You have to guess it until you get it right. And if you guess it fourth you get three points instead of 19 first. Oh okay or this is awesome? This isn't awesome. I don't think this is awesome. What do you guys want? Just wax?

It is better than you reading us a Wikipedia page. Which Jones starred in the 2007 film No Country for Old Men? Tommy Lee. Which Jones? Tommy Lee Jones is correct. I also heard Jones. Which of these

is not a type of kiss? I think Pyle might want to sit this one out. Not necessarily your expertise. A. Eskimo. B. Butterfly. C. Harness. D. French. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that they're all kisses. Because if you kiss, you know, if somebody's like strapped up, right? Ready to peg Ferris Monshi, he could sort of give a smooch to the harness.

Sure. Marika, is that a power you've ever harnessed? I think harness because it's not. Harness is the right answer. Yeah. How many points did we get? We got 12 for that one for some reason. I don't understand this at all.

I think it's timing. Okay. Because Casey answered fast for the first one. According to the 2012 CAA World Fact Book, which country has the highest life expectancy with nearly 94 years for females? A. Denmark.

That's not an... It's... I mean... Greenland. Greenland? It's Malaysia, Morocco, Monaco, or Madagascar. It's definitely Monaco. I'm gonna say Monaco.

I said Monaco is 10 points, so... Yeah. Because there's like no one there. What was the top rated US TV show? They're all rich for the 1990 to 1991 season friends

Seinfeld friends was not it cheers was it this sucks what are you guys doing the answers the options you know what

we gotta figure this shit out just find a different I wasn't so certain you had something planned this was the plan this was the plan I was wondering what were you plugging

10 things in? What do you mean? That's what we have to do. It took a half hour to get this set up. Kyle, you've never been to the LA studio in this modern iteration, in the post-Chef Kevin era. All right? He's fucked this whole thing up. Don't put this on Chef Kevin.

No, I love him as a person. What is this? I'm taking a video from what it looks like over here Listen, we gotta figure this episode out I resent the implication That I'm the only reason why episodes are bad Right? You guys are bringing the ice today

Not the heat Good Not a game But the ice What about areas of expertise that you guys are already versed in? What do you guys want to fucking wax about? Tell me about Let's spread some knowledge that's already soaked into the sponges of our brain

The warm, soapy goodness It sounds like I had the best idea for what this episode could be Which is commandeering and do my show that I host with you guys. Let's do that so we don't have to record tomorrow. And then just put it on both feeds. Why don't you try to commandeer? Piss off everybody. I feel like tension is what this episode

is missing, right? Because you guys are all on the same team. I'm with you guys. I don't know. We're all kind of on the same team. So what if it was sort of us are? All of us are. Sure. I like your question about what knowledge

do we all have to share? Yeah. Like if we all had a PowerPoint party. Okay, right? And then we can all like sort of try to teach some of the three of us.

I've never done one of those PowerPoint parties. They seem fun. They seem, us. I've never done one of those PowerPoint parties. They seem fun. They seem, yeah, I've never done one of those. What is that? It's like a new form of party for performative nerds. It's like a new form of party. Marika doesn't get invited to these.

You can tell from the timbre. So what, you teach everybody something? That's crazy she doesn't get invited to them. I think she'd be great at it. Pyle, have you read Ada by Nabokov? No. Fuck you guys. What have you...

Tell us about it, Jeff. I just started it. I'm 49 pages into this shit. It's very verbose. What's the fact? Do you want me to put it in the form of a trivia question? What is this? No, just tell us.

Pyle always gets... What is this? It's literally a trivia show so far, so I was kind of trying to... I'm feeling bad in this moment because every episode Pyle's done in the last year and a half has been a nothing burger. It's totally true. I used to blame it on him, but now I think it's my fault. The worst episode ever, part four.

Me? Study Hall! Why was the word hello invented? What was it invented for? I'm guessing it has something to do with how you wave to show that you don't have any weapons? It's something like that. It was invented for the telephone.

So you could call someone and tell them you don't have any weapons? The word hello was, like, pretty much not in use until a telephone came around. How do you guys all answer the phone? Let's start with Casey. Hello? Marika? Hello? Marika? Hello? Pyle?

Hello? Never mind. Never mind. What word? We went through all of them except you. Yours was great. Marika's was great. Who suggested hello as the word?

I didn't say that. I said how do you answer the phone? Alexander Graham Bell. No? But guess what his idea was? What word he wanted to use. Howdy. Ahoy. That would have been pretty good.

And say ahoy. That was funny. Wait, say that again, Casey. Who does he think he is? Amir Blumenfeld? Get his ass. Drag him. Casey, keep going. What else do you hate about Amir? Oh, he just says ahoy anytime I greet.

Or ahoy hoy. Yeah, ahoy hoy, yeah. More. And then he asks how I'm doing. Not the sequence of events When you run into his ass Name some complaints About the old boss man

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Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. Kyle, do you consider yourself part of the top? That's Jeff's. Do you consider yourself? And that's why I said it was better. Wow. Yours is better.

We're going to name this show, Jeff Couldn't Get a Word in Edgewise, at the hands of what you call him. I love that. I actually really love that. It would be really good if we... And I think that we should just continue. If we continue talking about things that we're really knowledgeable about, he can't really edge himself in.

You know what I mean? You don't think I have a knowledge base? You don't think I have a wide stance when it comes to my brain? Well, I think that no, but also if it's something so niche, you wouldn't necessarily be able to get a word in. Sand art. Sand art? Sand art. Does anybody know about that?

I haven't done it. I'm asking. I want to learn. Yeah, one time I would do. You put layers of sand in a bag. I guess you could do it in a bag. You can do it in a bag where it hangs and then it draws stuff. That kind of sand art.

Would you describe it as testicular at that point? No. No. No. Pyle, do you consider yourself top brass at Edgum? I guess so. I feel like if you go down, the ship goes down. I think you have to.

I don't have to? I said I think you have to. I feel like if you go down, the ship goes down. I think you have to. I don't have to? I feel like if you go down, the ship goes down with you, is what I was saying. Oh, yes, that's probably the case. That got us the funding. I mean, Angel and Series A, we should say. None of that happens without Andrew Pyle. I know we rag on him a lot,

but I think he's actually a pretty cool guy. Who are you talking about? Thanks, where are you going with this? I'm not going anywhere. I was just trying I think he's actually a pretty cool guy. Who are you talking to? Thanks. Where are you going with this? I'm not going anywhere. I was just trying to give you your daps, your do's. Thank you. I appreciate it.

I'm asking. So you do consider yourself top brass? Why are you setting me up for this? Yeah, I guess so. Maybe we should stop complimenting him because he got a big head really quickly. I gave him one compliment and he's like, yeah, I'm kind of top-rest. Well, you keep saying it over and over again. It's just kind of like I feel suspicious.

What do you think? The hammer's going to drop at some point? I guess. I don't know. Why does everyone feel shaky around me? I think you put people off. Off or on edge? Because that's two different things. Both. It's not. Off of the edge? Because that's two different things. Both. It's not.

Off of the edge. What is it? Into the cliff. Not on stable ground. Off the cliff. Yeah. You don't think I'm a grounded guy? What's not grounded about me? You kind of build a house with no foundation. How so? I don't understand. I genuinely want to know.

Or you rip the foundation from under it. People move houses. Like with this episode, for example. People rip the foundation up, put the house on a truck, and drive to the next location. Plant it in a different place. Yeah, but they're not living in it. On the truck.

What else? What else can I be better at? You're saying that I need to give people solid... I don't think we need to teach you anything. There's nothing I can teach you. Because you don't have the knowledge base? I don't think any of my knowledge can help you in any way. Yeah.

Okay. What if I did have the real estate, mentally? For knowledge? For bettering myself. You referred to a brain as being the same as a cum rag about ten minutes ago, so I don't really know if you do. Useful, absorbent, and I use it every day. Jeff, how do you better yourself? I try to surround myself with people that are better than me.

That's why this episode specifically is a little difficult. So you leech off of people. Leech or I'm a part of a community. It's all about how you spin this. So you leech off of... You leech off of people. Leech or I'm a part of a community. It's all about how you spin this. Community of leeches? No. Two solid guys. The community you're in.

And one leech. Two gender neutral solid gangs. And then... Solid gangs? So that's a lot of people, actually. Are they rival gangs? I don't know. I just, I'm trying to make it so that.

What is this show? What is this show? That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm trying to make myself more presentable to y'all so that you guys feel more comfortable sharing. Pyle hasn't lowered his shoulders for a decade. And I feel like the last two and a half years of that is me. Lowered my shoulders? What do you mean?

Yeah, your tents, your. Is that restoration hardware behind you? The couch? half years of that is me lowered my shoulders what do you mean yeah you're tense you're restoration hardware behind you uh that the couch yeah yeah i think it is actually top brass it might be top ass brass it's my mother-in-law's i didn't know that so when i said top brass just now i thought you paid for the couch and. And I did learn something. You learned something about him. We never talk about you guys. Right? How you guys could be better. Pyle, how has the company not IPO'd, man? That's on your ass.

Well, I don't think we're big enough for an IPO. You need to be pretty large, generally. Then a fucking sale to, like, iHeartRadio Sirius XM Radio Apple Cash out man You said you want to move to Massachusetts Real estate there is pretty expensive compared to the Hudson Valley Actually the property taxes are a lot lower

in Massachusetts than here Really? Yeah, part of the reason I'm looking I think something you could learn Jeff is like in Massachusetts than here. Really? Yeah. Part of the reason I'm looking. I think something you could learn, Jeff, is like you'll talk about people and then incorrectly, but you don't, you like make them correct you

and then you kind of look the fool. I don't look the fool because, you know. So maybe you just like ask them a question. The wisest man in the room knows how much he doesn't know. So for me to come in here and be vulnerable with you guys, for me to be like, teach me, better me, better help,

and to talk to Pyle about his finances, to learn about his vision for the company, I think is me being open, me being vulnerable. I don't see how that's not grounded. I don't think you're... I don't think how that's not grounded. I don't think you're learning. I think you're just kind of filling his mouth with words. That's not

me filling his mouth with words. This is me filling his mouth with words. I'm Andrew Pyle, and I support the death penalty. Do you? Me? Pyle? Yeah. And i don't think you should pay any property taxes forget lower yeah that's me to a t i mean if you know anything about me you know i hate taxes and that um minor offenders should be put to death. It's kind of my two main things.

A way to describe your life is death and taxes in Red Hook, New York. That's kind of my whole platform, actually. Yeah. What are your policies, Jeff? No phones. In study hall? In study hall. Let's start there.

Let's see if it sparks joy or wisdom, and then we'll maybe do it in perpetuity. So no phones ever? Well, not in study hall, not at the dinner table, and definitely not in the presence of anyone that I'm uncomfortable with, because you never know what they might say. You don't want to be on a phone in the presence of someone you're uncomfortable with? Yeah, you know how you're like –

What is that face? You just said – that's literally what you just said. I know, but I don't stand by it. You're asking me – putting me on the spot for my fucking platform. I don't fucking know. I don't want to be in politics. I did have an idea to become the Noirian ambassador to the US. What does that mean?

Is it not clear? I thought that was personal. Is that a place? Noir? Noira? Like film noir? I don't even know what it is. You could film noir.

Maybe that would be part of my ambassadorship. But basically, there's this tiny island off the coast of Australia called Noir. Noira. I'm already forgetting it. Noira.

N-U-A-R-A. You don't know? This is the first time I'm hearing about it. Study Hall. I'm learning so much. So it's this tiny little island off the coast

of Australia. It's one of the smallest countries in the world. They don't have a lot of money. They don't have a lot of connections. Neither do I. Right? So I think it's one of the smallest countries in the world. They don't have a lot of money. They don't have a lot of connections. Neither do I. Right?

So I think it's a perfect fit. And I'm obviously not going to be a U.S. ambassador to anywhere, but I'd love to become a diplomat. And I feel like Nuwara to the U.S. is my best chance. Because I know people like Pyle. He's rich. I know people like Marika. Diversity. And I know people like Amir, who's kind of famous.

That's, yeah. I think your resume looks great. N-U-A-R-A I want to say. N-A-U-R-U. This is the first I'm ever hearing about it. Do you guys support my ambassadorship?

Are you ambassador for HeadGum there or the United States? All the connections you named were People at HeadGum I also know Shackle She also works at HeadGum Yeah but she's married to a chef Now we're starting to get into like the Gordon Ramsay territory I'm sure he's done a fucking stint with Ramsay

I looked up The place And the first thing that came up Was it's immigration detention center, which has 2.5 stars on Google reviews. That's not bad for a detention center, though. Was Australia sending people? Wasn't this like a big thing during COVID?

It's really sad, actually. Yeah. Basically, Australia, I think this is my theory, they still have not escaped that inception story of the British making Australia one big prison. Trauma begets trauma, and they

fucking did it to Noir. Her people, her people. Exactly right. So I think that I can increase peaceful negotiations between Australia and Noir. I have another fact about South Pacific Island that we can do. Alright. Trivia.

Tuvalu, I think is the name of the island. Tiny Island in the South Pacific, I think it was joining the UN or something, and they needed to pay $100,000 to do it, and they didn't have it. How did they raise the money to join the UN?

Kickstarter. Kickstarter is good. Indiegogo. They sold their domain name .tv For how much? I don't know. Enough to join the UN. $1,000 at least.

Tuvalu.tv I think it's Tuvalu is the name of the country. Tuvalu.tv I think it's Tuvalu is the name of the country Tuvalu.tv Smart It's not Tuvalu it's HBO Jackbox.tv When's the next HeadGum Game Night?

Sort of a study hall in and of itself I got left out last time Left out? You're never around I saved you from having to host again that's never on the podcast that we do together the first the main person on the cover art has not been in most of the episodes

I'll be there tomorrow at 11am drag him that's in poor taste drag me for what I don't think I've talked to you in six months. People love to keep saying that I don't actually work at the company because I'm a contractor. So that's my scapegoat in this conversation,

is I don't actually work here. Yeah. Self-employed. $10.99. Do you like that? Self-employed. No, it actually makes my taxes really difficult and getting an apartment

is tough because they make me show my it sucks whole W-2 not W-2 W-9 I don't like that

yeah did it for years then I started working here well I don't I lose my health care in November so I'll probably

just do Cal Health yeah I did that for a while I broke my hip Skateboarding or sex? Skateboarding Scapegoating you said? Skateboarding

Just wondering who you threw under the bus Anything else? Broke his hip Let's just fucking cut our losses This is an awful episode This is all your fault No it's not We were going to do random Wikipedia pages

Different guests might have liked this You know who I think would have liked this Brad Yeah There's no way he would have Um Kyle you look confused Sad like you wish you hadn't done this.

I could have talked about so many different things in my knowledge base. Yeah, the floor has been open the whole fucking time. Any one of us could have. I could have done the pit wall inside of this podcast, which was my plan coming in here. I could have talked about the state of Broadway and New York theater. Let's hear it. Well, that's going to take too long now.

It's hard, you know, because people are like, oh, I want to listen to your podcast. I'm like, let me make sure I choose which one you will listen to because if it's one like this, they're going to think it's nothing. But you plan nothing. Every time I'm on you you plan nothing every time yeah you plan the show okay you host it you uh we got we got a message from anya that said jeff has requested you three by name me pile and marika to do an episode of the head gun podcast two two weeks out. So I was thinking,

wow, Jeff must have something planned. And I show up here and you just started reading. Study Hall. A Wikipedia page. Study Hall, man. It was supposed to be a whole thing where we all went around and learned shit. But you guys haven't participated. You're like, I have a live knowledge base. I have had several facts. I've learned

stuff. You have learned more. Marika's like, I could have done this. I could have waxed about Broadway. Then why didn't you? And how's that on me? I said, let's all share facts. And you didn't. When did you say that? I never heard you say, let's all share facts.

I'm inserting it right now. At the end. I said it. That was audio of me saying it. Um, yeah. Christ. You're just making fun of people's voices now. I said it that was audio of me saying Um Yeah Making fun of people's voice Top brass What Dude

I want you guys to Fucking further the progress Of this shit We're sure Broadway theaters that have nothing in them right now. Empty four wallers. Why are we doing a live show there? Studio 54 has been empty for months.

There's shows closing left and right. What's happening? Yeah, I thought Broadway was back, baby. Yeah, I heard Broadway in the Great White Waves. That's what they'll say. That's what they said when you walked into the theater for the first time in 2021 but let me tell you it's not doing well or most shows aren't doing well why do you think that is marika you go to a lot of shows what are you seeing out there shows Prices, too high. Not accessible. Shows, oftentimes, just re...

Hey, sometimes they're not. Sometimes they're not, and that's why it's okay that this one's going where it is. I mean, we might have to scrap this whole thing. Well, nobody's paying $200 to see this show. And we also haven't invited... I guess we do invite reviewers every week to review the show. Yeah, why don't we just do a call to action? Guys, leave some five-star reviews. We'll start reading them aloud on the show.

You want to do a call to action now in the middle of this episode? I think we should do plugs. How do you think you could save this episode Jeff what in your head will turn it all around I did what I planned you guys hated it brick wall ran into it nose first

there's no way that you planned you planned the study hall I believe you could have done that there's no way that you planned that the study hall was I believe you could have done that. There's no way that you planned that the study hall was just going to be reading Wikipedia articles. I did, actually. Alright, so you

read one Wikipedia article. Where are you going to read the whole page? Oh, Carosella. Are you going to read the whole page? I wanted to. You guys said you hated it. Well, you can just skip to the next page. You wanted to read the whole page? Let's wanted to you guys said you hated it well you can just skip the next page you wanted to read the whole page let's go to another one are you just clicking random article how are you

getting wiki roulette list of ambassadors of Canada to Germany maybe I could immigrate to Canada figure that shit out can you I don't think I want to Canada has no diplomatic mission sorry Canada has no diplomatic mission. Sorry. Canada had no diplomatic mission to Germany before the Second World War. Though it had immigration agents in the

country as early as 1870. You don't even like this idea that you wanted to do. Sometimes, yes. Listening to you read this page, like you're tired of it. Sometimes I do plan something that I'm like, oh, this will be bad, and then they'll all laugh and jump down my throat, and people will like that. This is, you know, you're seeing

how the sausage gets made a little bit too much, Casey. And this was one of those times? Yeah! Okay. Are you saying we weren't? We are not jumping down your throat? So we've done exactly what you wanted to. Yeah, we're doing the exact show that you, I guess, had planned all along. I really

think that it doesn't matter what I prepare. It matters if I don't bring anything. That's not true. The Lunch and Learn was a great episode. That was a very thin premise. It wasn't. People liked that one. Somebody commented, if Jeff prepares even a little bit,

the show's good. I thought that was a good episode. Better than this one, by the way. This is going exactly how you wanted it to, though. No, I thought it would be like a certain... Three on one works because there's joy between the three of you. You guys are islands. We are miles apart. Yes.

And there's just... I don't... This could have gone well is my point. I could have done the same thing and if you guys were in different moods it would have been better do you have like a song about rice or something what do you think our yeah it's a lot

what do you think affected our moods should I you guys want me to freestyle a rice song no you don't have to do that oh you know what Should I You guys want me to freestyle a rice song No You don't have to do that Oh you know what I'm being Gaslit

I actually have An update I'm gonna see if my cousin Can make me a Like A page I can't think of what it's called A page on his website make me a like a page. I can't think of what it's called. A page on his website.

Yes, it is. Who are you? My cousin grows rice and he started selling it and I'm going to see if he can make a page for the HeadGum Podcast so we can send people to go buy his rice. That's good. Can we do like a Chamberlain coffee type thing where it's HeadGum Podcast so we can send people to go buy his rice. That's good.

Can we do like a Chamberlain coffee type thing where it's HeadGum Podcast rice? Just in bags is fine. Right. Rice. As opposed to how else? I feel crazy right now. I really feel like this should have been good. Just in bags is fine.

Just in bags is fine. That's what I'm saying. And then you just stick the fucking logo. That's how they're sold. That's how they're fucking sold already. That's what I'm saying. So you just want to rebrand one of those bags of rice. Chamberlain Coffee style.

HeadGum podcast rice. People are searing and singeing this shit as they would sand. People are searing and singeing this shit As they would Sam I think they would post Online a lot and like use The songs on TikTok As they post themselves burning rice I think it's a great idea

Thank you Casey You know what I want to do I want to give a shout out to this guy He posted it to the Jake and Amir subreddit He made his own Rice parody it made me really happy Let me find it Wow It was really good He made his own rice parody. It made me really happy. Let me find it. Wow.

It was really good. He might have deleted it. I'm not seeing it anymore. You made it up. No, I didn't. You had a dream about it. Okay, here we go. This is from You slash aspiring underscore enthusiast I wake up every evening

With a big pile on my plate Of rice I will intake And you're still probably working With a seared soy base I wonder how bad that tastes When you make to eat Burn your rice When you eat OMSB

Hope you burn your rice Hope they burn your rice Now where's that hoisin bottle Does this rice taste so bland? Did you ever soil your sand? You never ruined your grains. I've never seen you scald your carbs. Yeah, he really is.

It's really good. He's using all the same words you use every time. I love it. Truth be told, I steam rice. And truth be told, I'm frying. Truth be told, I love it. I steam rice. And truth be told, I'm frying. Truth be told, I'm frying. If you burn your rice, if you burn

your rice. Damn, what are you guys doing? If you burn your rice. If you eat a flan, what a mighty good flan. That's your only food. Better eat it twice. If you burn your rice. I hope you burn your rice. normal guitar solo who did that again that was a reddit user aspiring enthusiast. Great job, aspiring enthusiast. Yeah, shout out. That was really good.

That's Jake's Instagram description, right? I thought it was just enthusiast. Oh. Top brass. Maybe it's inspiring to be that. Top brass. How do I get in the C-suite? What? How do I get in the C-suite?

How do I get in the C-suite? I think first you have to be a salaried employee. That's an insurmountable goal for me yeah um pile let's talk about marriage and red hook sure what are the spots man where do you guys go oh geez um Oh, geez. Let me think. There's a couple of nice restaurants around. There's a place called Stissing House, which is in Pine Plains. There's a French place in Pine Plains, which is also really good. We just had some noodles, a place called Yum Yum Noodles, I think.

That's in Red Hawk. That was good. Rhinebeck's got spots. It's got a really good falafel place. It's got a really good Indian food place. Careful. What? Plugs.

What do you guys have going on? What do you want to point the people towards? Let's start with Pyle. Are you fucking kidding me? You guys are mad that I'm ending the show? I'm trying to cut you guys loose for your Monday evenings. Trying to do something nice for once. Listen to Pit Wall. Jeff's not on it, so it's like this show. I'll be on it tomorrow. I'll be on it tomorrow. I was on it a week

ago. I was on it a week ago. Great episode. You were on it two weeks ago. Yeah. We recorded an episode. Did you watch this race, Jeff? I will tonight You don't have to But I was just wondering You looked at me while you did that

I think you should watch it If you're going to do a podcast about Also I don't I don't think he has to watch it Yeah at this point Guys don't argue I can feel like this is about to get really heated No I don't think it will can feel like this is about to get really heated.

No, I don't think it will. Yeah, I think we're mature adults that can discuss things normally. I think it'd be kind of a fun angle if Jeff is on and he hasn't watched it and we're telling him about it. I agree. Um. But if you want to watch it, you can.

Follow me on Blue Sky Threads, x slash Twitter, letterboxd, Instagram, TikTok, at Marie Gaylon. Buy me a GE ice machine. That's why I have a TikTok account, just so I can try and get a pebble ice machine. How's why I have a TikTok account. Just so I can try and get a pebble ice machine. How much were those costs? $500.

To make ice? Those are really loud though. At this point I don't care. I need nugget ice. I've wanted it for years. And now the girlies on TikTok are just selling their souls for ge opal ice machines selling their souls i want to be that they're not really they're just doing ads for

them and doing giveaways that i can't win oh these are like you you can buy home versions of this? This isn't like the kind you find in the hallway of a hotel? No, no, no, no. Oh, wow. I'm going to have to look into this. Yeah, you are, because it's great. Nugget Ice is great. I'm also just plugging Nugget Ice. And listen to The Pit Wall.

And go see a Broadway show if you live in New York. They're cool. Or an off-Broadway theater. Who fucking cares? Nothing matters. Yeah, listen to The Pit Wall. We're all on it. There's always a nice structure to it.

We know what we're going to talk about when we start the show all the way until when we finish the show. We know what we're going to talk about when we start the show all the way to when we finish the show. We have notes. It's always on track. We were on track today. On track for what?

A bad episode. And I'll end it there. Brutal. That was a Hidgum Original.