The Headgum Podcast - 169: Worst Episode Ever 5

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

Marika and Joel join Geoff in the NYC studio to test out new sound effects for the show and discuss old New York hotspots. It's bad! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Do you have any regrets? Let's Monday morning quarterback Brad's appointment. After him saying pussy, the most unsure I've ever heard anyone say that. No, I don't think so. All right. That's good.

That's got to be a vote of confidence. Jeff, do you mind if I ask Brad a question? Yeah, just for a second. Great. Brad, after joining this Zoom call, do you have any regrets? You definitely need to ask about HR stuff. There isn't one.

Yeah. I guess it's good that I said pussy then. worst camera setup ever there's two angles on marika and joel that are like one degree of separation from each other so i'm just going to use it for emphasis um new york shitty style right we're back at it again on uh we should say the corner of right let's not say that okay um there you go how's that you can turn my cans down a little bit. Cans, she says. Yeah. Very small studio. I don't know if it's obvious, but Marika's like a yard away from me right here. It actually isn't obvious.

It looks like it is across the room. Yeah. It really isn't. No. It's uncomfortably close. I can't see Joel at all. Yeah, that's true. But Joel can, here's the thing,

Joel can see you on this camera's screen say a smile this sucks right uh Marika and I saw a Broadway show last night I think think that's fair to say, because it is the truth. It is the truth. Uh, we saw Here Lies Love. Mm-hmm.

Almost fucked it up. Yep. Um, thoughts, questions, concerns? For me? Not for the cast, not for the creators. For you. In a way. Yeah, I wanted, did you enjoy it?

I enjoyed the show. Okay. But not with me. Like, you didn't enjoy the act of going to a Broadway show with me No it was good I feel like you're lying No I really liked going with you And I've wanted to go to a musical with you for a long time So it was nice to finally do that

Yeah But you hated the show I know I really liked the show There was like two songs Sorry numbers That were a little bit garbage water Okay But everything else that yeah but you hated the show i know i really liked the show there was like two songs sorry numbers that were a little bit garbage water okay but everything else but then there was some bangers name names i don't remember the names well what was what were the parts i am going to look up the track listing uh feel free to play along at home guess which which songs of Here Lies Love Jeff didn't like.

Because it's a mostly sung through show with music by David Byrne and Flatboy Sim. Flatboy Sim. I'm always interested in these sorts of events where people are like, I really want to see a Broadway show with you. Because in some ways, it's solitary. Right.

Solano Avenue isn't good. Yeah, that's the one where they're like fighting. Yeah. That friend character didn't matter. Yeah, I like the choreography during that part. That's true, that's true. Because they're like pretending to walk. One of my favorite things to do too is to say just like an opinion that I have,

but say it like it's fact. So like, that song to do too is to say just like an opinion that I have but say it like it's fact. So like that song is bad. It's a nothing breaker. It's not that I don't like it. But Order 1081 was maybe my favorite. That's very good. Realize Love is great. The titular song. I don't know how this happened. There we go.

Everyone so great in it. And we should say also to to your point, Joel, the tickets that we had were standing room tickets because the show is immersive. Like you're in a dance club. So it was less of a solitary action. It was more akin to going to a dance club together. In a way.

But a dance club where they sort of force you to when and where and how to dance. It's like the songs are instructions. Exactly. There was a line dance where you had to... That was my least favorite part. That was maybe the other song that I was like, this is not good.

Why was it your least favorite part, though? The dance was simple and bad. I didn't want a line dance. But you didn't have to. You did, and you put gusto into it that you didn't need to. Yeah, because I think... You shimmied with a plum. Listen, there's two good options.

One is to not participate at all. But that's not even the good... The best one is to participate in a way that makes you look like you're really getting into it so you allow others around you to have the freedom to look like assholes. I'm never going to be that person. No, and you shouldn't be. I don't know why I did that. But I do think that

half-heartedly line dancing is maybe the saddest thing in the world. So I really needed to put some effort in. Fair enough, fair enough. I don't like when they tell you to jump, because I'm never going to jump. Yeah, there were a lot of times where they were like, jump, jump! And I'm like,

I had Achilles heel problems Growing up so I don't know if I'm gonna jump You have very thin ankles My Achilles heel is thus Yeah And I also I don't know if this This isn't just in this specific Scenario but anytime

I'm required to put my hands up I don't want to I can't I like physically can't do it. So you don't, you don't like line dancing to all I do is win. Is there a specific dance or everybody's hands go up and they stay there? Yeah. Mine would go up, but they would not stay there. Yeah. Mine would go up

but they would not stay there. Sure. I physically like can't make myself do it. It's very strange. Yeah. Sorry. I just

talk amongst yourselves. Marika I trusted her to focus the cameras and she didn't. I absolutely did. What's the problem? Maybe it just looks bad

on the monitor. It might. I did because I did the thing that Casey tells us to do. So loud. So loud. I like that song. That was it?

It is a banger, but insanely loud. I'm trying to find some new sounds, so I thought that we could maybe just press some buttons and you guys could tell me whether they're winners or not. Gotcha. Is that fair? Or did you have more to say? I have more to say. Joel? Previous one was a winner. Got it. Okay. Maybe

like, let's edit the volume, though. Hmm. Thing is, I don't know if sounds are objectively good or bad, or if it's more about how you use them. That's true, but they have to have potential for use. I think if you hear the sound and you can't see where it would be placed in the show, it's not the winner.

Yeah. That's a keeper. That's a keeper that's a keeper sounded like a whale I don't know how I feel about that one was that it or did you stop it? That's it. I liked the last two, but I wish they were longer. This one's long.

I don't like it though though I think we need more like intro music kind of stuff like here like right Like, I want to enter the studio to that. Yeah. Be announced like a wrestler. Yeah, for sure. I did want to do a straight up, like, boxing match between me and Amir. I also really want that to happen.

As a live show. No, I think that would be... also really want that to happen. As a live show. No, I think that would be... One of the gaming channels I used to watch did like a wrestling thing where they trained to be wrestlers and then

actually learned the flips and stuff. Yeah. But I think it would be really funny if you guys just no training, went into a boxing ring. Just kind of like swatted at each other. The issue is I think like the reason why boxers do what they do, correct me if I'm wrong, Joel, is that they're making millions of dollars.

That's probably fair. Sorry. I said correct me if I'm wrong. Joel. I'm not correcting you. So I'm wrong. Joel. I'm not correcting you. So I'm wrong. I'm right. You're right. And I didn't even correct you, I just gave you

No, I... Agreed. I think a lot of boxers do it for the love of the game. Yeah. Like they have some internal aggression that feels good to let out. Mm-hmm. internal aggression that feels good to let out.

I also, I mean, there's like creator clash. I think it would be really funny if somehow you guys ended up at that event, which is like, what is that? Is that a boxing matchup for like YouTube? Yeah, literally. Yes. How much do they get paid i'm trying to like they do it for charities i don't want to i don't want to do it for charity i'll do something else for

charity have you ever fought anyone physically physically uh not like throwing hands but like i've never said that it sounded so wrong coming out. I got in like an altercation in college once, yeah. What was the situation? If I tell this story, I'm going to sound like I'm telling the story to be a hero. Well, sometimes you are a hero. You could tell this story, you could tell us about PJ Clark's. It's either or? I guess.

You didn't want to tell this story. I was giving you an out. What about this? No. This is just... I'm not pulling this out of thin air. This is the soundboard website that I use. This is their most popular sounds. And there's no way

somebody's using this that often yeah i really didn't think you could rhyme this much in mandarin that was honestly sick. It was really cool. I couldn't find the time signature. Let's take a break. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1,

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one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. And we're back. What's that sound? Oh, it's a TikTok. TikTok shared to Instagram, I think. Here we go. How long... I almost called you a Marirka.

Marirka, how long have you lived in New York City? Fast. Say it fast. Eight years. Eight years, that's it? That's it? What do you mean that's it? I've lived in LA for eight years.

Okay, but that's where you went to school. Really? Yeah. Shit. Ass. Shit ass. Joel, two years, right? 1.5.

All right, so you guys basically, you've lived here for a long time, let's say. Combined, like nine and a half. No, I'm saying both of you have. And so I'm like, you have had to have seen everything at this point. Versus me, I've only ever lived here for extended stays. Right. here for extended stays. Right.

Right. So, like, you guys have sort of, like, this cultural thumb on the pulse that I, frankly, will never have because I'll never catch up to y'all in terms of how long I've lived here, even if I moved here today. You haven't experienced things that we have experienced. I've never been to Ellis Island. Me neither. What?

Well, I wanted to talk to you guys because last night I went to PJ Clark's, right? Yes. 1884. Let me finish. Let me finish. Isn't that like weird bar in Midtown? Is that that awesome bar on the Upper East? Barely Upper East.

Definitely Midtown. But it is Lenox Hill. Because I think I've actually been there before. But you feel like you're in the 1930s? 1880s. Sure. And you can tell the difference, by the way. Yeah, I'm sort of a hunter.

Oh, I'm thinking of PJ Wheelahands. What is that? What is that? Maybe I'm getting it wrong. Wheelahands. Sorry. I am trying to drink this whole thing because I had hard palpitations last night that kept me up until 429. Yeah.

PJ Clark's. It's the corner of 3rd and 60th or 55th, I think. Yeah, I've been there. No, you haven't. I have. PJ Clark's? I just confused it with Wheelahands. What is Wheelahands? It's just another name that sounds like it's a made up thing

to sound old. PJ Clark's is actually opened in 1884. Okay, well I've been there is the point. Okay, well you've been there or that's awesome. There's three different PJ Clark's. Yeah, but that's the original and the rest are just sort of like cash slash power graphs.

There's a PJ Clarks in Philadelphia. Have you been to that one? Philadelphia J. Clark, yeah. No, I wanted to ask you guys about a couple of old New York mainstays. See if you'd been there. See what your thoughts were. And then I'll share mine about PJ Clarks

and the rest of them going forward. This is not a segment people are going to like. And here we go. Francis Tavern. I have been there. Opened in 1762. Let me finish when I say, when I introduce them. Have you been there?

Yes. Joel? Nope. Located on the corner of Pearl and Broad Street in downtown Manhattan, France's is a 250-year-old bar and restaurant with a storied past. I mean, how often do you get to be in a room that's been there for, I don't know, 250 years? Not often. And so how did you feel when you were there?

I sat outside. But I did go to the bathroom. Moving on. The bathroom's just a hole in the ground. Look at this. P.J. Clark's, 1884. P.J. Clark's has been surfing up delicious burgers in a cozy setting for nearly 150 years. Right?

And so when you're there, you can't help but feel that history. Buddy Holly proposed to his wife there maybe. Frank Sinatra often sat at table 20. Did you sit at table 20? I sat at the bar and the bartender pitied me because I was there alone. I tried to read a book.

It was too loud. And it is my fault that you were there alone because you didn't invite me and I said, no, I have to go grocery shopping. It was also Wednesday at like 10. Yeah. I mean, I did have to go grocery shopping, but I also wanted to go home quickly. And I did not go home quickly because I went to three grocery stores. What grocery stores did you go to?

I went to a natural market on 8th and 54th. I went to a food emporium. I tried to go to Gristiti's, but it was closed, so I went back to the natural market and bought what I thought was too expensive there.

And I went home. Jeff, did you consider joining for the grocery store journey? I invited him. I considered it, but then I realized the reality of that would be just me following Marika in a Whole Foods and commenting on what she bought. But that is kind of... I love going to the grocery store with friends.

I think it's fun. It oftentimes offers a really new perspective. That's true. Totally. That's fun. It oftentimes offers a really new perspective. That's true. Totally. That's true. So true. Two guys came up and sat basically next to me at the bar.

And the bartender, I guess, knew them. They were seemingly regulars. And they were, like, already kind of drunk, I think. And they ordered, like, triple whiskeys. Like, they looked like caricatures of drunk i think and they ordered like triple whiskeys like they they looked like caricatures of like drinkers these guys were born in 1884 it felt that way or at least like the 80s and they kept telling this one they had nothing in common this one guy kept saying the same joke over and over and then eventually just googled the origin of the joke and it wasn't funny he was like the brain may go to shit like your heart may be on fire but the liquor is always there when you're feeling dire or something and he had that like alcoholic voice where they're like

and he kept saying it and he told the bartender it like three times, and the bartender kept being like, ah, that's cool, yeah. And then his friend got up to go to the bathroom, and then he was like, I found the origin of this saying. I was like, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You're not happy, and you guys aren't friends. You just come here.

Anyway, moving on. Keen's Steakhouse, 1885. Are you familiar? No. Over 150 years ago, publishers, playwrights and producers met and mingled at the renowned Keen's Steakhouse before seeing a show.

What? What street's it on? What street is it on what street is it on I wasn't prepared for any follow up questions but let me google it I mean this is you are asking two people that don't eat steaks it's on 32nd and 6th

interesting and when I said 32nd I meant 36th and 6th gotcha so far from Broadway but that's their fault it had a piano maybe. You guys haven't been to Keene's? No. Moving on.

Peter Luger Steakhouse 1887. Familiar, but never been. You guys don't eat steak. They lost their Michelin star recently, right? Is that true? I think so. Here's what I'll say about Peter Luger. I had the pleasure and leisure of going there with a friend two years ago,

and I've never stopped thinking about it. It's unbelievable. Really? They have this, like, thick cut bacon as a side. And it's just, it's crazy good. And I thought that it was going to be all hype. But it was truly unbelievable And you can tell that it's been there since the late

80s 1880s Not quite the, yeah Because when you say 80s people think like Leather jackets You know, great economics Reganomics Who?

We should go to Peter Luger What about Katz's Deli? Why aren't you guys having fun? I am having fun I was looking up to see if They did actually lose their Michelin star And is it true? Tell me it isn't true

In 2022 They lost their Michelin star Well I ate there early 2022 So they still have the star This was later, yeah I don't know what changed. But you can order it on fucking DoorDash.

And I'm like, maybe I do that because getting the reservation is what's hard. I feel like that's why they lost their Michelin star. There can't be a Michelin star restaurant on DoorDash. In LA, there's a lot of those. There's a whole category. Yeah. What's that? I don't like that. Actually, on DoorDash, it's like Michelin rated.

Maybe that's not like star. It's just like... Cats' Deli. I know none of us have ever been here. Don't you have a hat from there? Me? Yeah. No.

You're thinking of someone else. Maybe Pyle. I confuse you guys all the time The thing about Pyle is that he Loves when Harry met Sally Because he loves that scene where She sort of fakes an L Because he's like

I think that was His sexual awakening And I don't want to speak for Andrew And it was a fake Rouse I've never been to speak for Andrew. And it was a fake. And it was a fake. Yeah. Rouse. I've never been to Rouse. Like the marinara sauce?

Yeah. Yeah. I've had the sauce. Had the sauce. I feel like nobody is missing out because it seems like it's hearty red sauce Italian, which I hate. What's your preferred Italian? I think I want hearty red sauce Italian. I think I I think I want hearty red sauce Italian

I think I I like like northern Italian what what's that cuisine defined by I don't know less heavy pastas

you know not always fucking bolognese this thick ass creamy Italian otherwise I

I like a mushroom pasta you know I like an agn. You know, I like an agnolotti, you know. I don't want to speak too soon. You know the economic growth in different regions of Italy? In the 80s? Under the best president ever?

No, before the 80s, before the 1880s, is directly correlated with when the church in different parts stopped allowing people to marry their cousins. That's a great fact. Can you say that again? That's a great fact.

Because like the not needing to marry their cousins led them to need to travel further, meet more people, led to much more like spread of ideas and economic growth. So the poor regions are the ones where they were allowed to marry their cousins for much longer. And they say it is these very simple agrarian societies. We do not care. Elbowing.

The wall. the wall barbetta where's that nope um this is where we need the noise like why can't we play we don't care back

that was easy button if you wanna no I don't know where it is. I'm going to assume lower Manhattan or some shit. Here we go. Grand Central Oyster Bar and Restaurant. No, but I've heard about it.

Really? Walked past it. Is this in Grand Central Station? Yes. Why don't we go there for lunch? That would be great. Hop on a jam track to upstate New York. There is like a flesh-eating virus that was recently found in a bunch of oysters and the water, the salt water. I almost had oysters yesterday, so thank fucking God I didn't.

Instead I had... A whiskey at PJ Clark's. Do you know about the speakeasy in Grand central i've heard of it yeah i went to it last year it's pretty cool how do you feel how do i feel in general about going there uh i felt good about it because it was for charity no it was for a party, an after party for a movie premiere. And I was at the bar at the same time that Owen Wilson was at the bar, so I loved that personally. I saw Owen Wilson getting off the Bedford stop on the L.

Did I say about this? I think you might have. It was me, Johnny, and our friend uh and we were very intoxicated and we saw him and we were like hi i'm johnny and or i'm like drunk out of my mind and that's owen wilson it's not that funny like you said that to him yeah no like the bit was like i know that i'm like fucked up but but like that is Owen Wilson. And no one's going to believe us. Right, right.

Old Town Bar. I think we've been there together. I don't think so. Not you and me. No. Where, no, where is Old Town Bar? It's like right here. I'm going to take my throat to the Old Town Bar.

I'm going to gargle all of the ales. Nice. Fuck you guys. I've never been here. Okay, well we had a big New York office happy hour there. Cool, wasn't invited. What about Balthazar? Haven't been to the restaurant,

but I frequently eat their almond croissants. One of my favorite baked goods of all time. And used to have to, at my old job, a lot of people would order lunch from there. So I used to have to call them like every day and order lunch for delivery. All right. What about Gage and Tolner? Pardon? Forget it. Just fucking let's move on. All right. What about Gage and Tolner? Pardon? Forget it.

Just fucking let's move on. Thank you. I was enjoying this. I know, but oftentimes what you enjoy is what the audience hates. That's why there's a ton of times that you're not having fun.

Wait, we're going to do this again? You made a better face the first time. Oh, I went. I don't know. What do you you guys fucking suggest It's been 33 minutes I don't know what else to do I'm fucking exhausted because I couldn't go to sleep until 4.30

As I mentioned And I didn't prepare anything You didn't sleep Just wanted to have a ton of fun I thought this would be a fun Energy episode to not go into. To go into without seconds. I think we've had a great energy.

No. I shared Jeff's. I thought it was going to be a good energy and then it wasn't really. I think that it's your fault then. No, I think you disagree with most. What about the energy do you not like? You don't like that there's not a game.

I do like a game, but the two segments have been playing all of the music sounds. Yeah, I don't like the music. And listening to restaurants in New York, which also I think is annoying when people do it in normal conversations. To have it as a podcast is even worse. Yes, Danny. I thought that the conversations

underneath those were fun. But maybe you just need to contribute more. Maybe that's the problem. Yeah, I only can have fun when I dominate things. Can you do the slap sound again? I do agree that everyone is going to hate this episode.

Can you do the slap sound again? I agree that everyone is going to hate this episode. Can you do the slap sound again? The punch sound? Punch sound. The camera wasn't on. God damn it. Hang on, wait. I'm a character actor. That's not what that means.

Forget it. What was your question? There's no way. My God. what that means forget it what was your question there's no way my god I just asked what you were excited to do while I'm in New York

yes oh my god sorry what was your question I'm not asking it again no come on no I'm not come on I didn't hear it the first three times come on. No, I'm not. Come on. I didn't hear it the first three times.

I think you two have spent too much time together the past 72 hours. It's true. I did force Jeff to go to two different musicals. You didn't force me. I said I want to see a musical with you, and then you also invited me to the first thing, which was good.

Yeah. Not as good, though. Yeah, well, it's a fun, you know, it's a different vibe. We could go see Titanic. Is that a musical? Yeah. I am excited to, I'm really just excited to see Friends.

That's the point of the visit. But after this, I have to record some ads and then I'm going gonna take the train up to the Diamond District and just go look at a bunch of vintage watches that I can never afford

but it'll be fun I passed a watch store in Greenpoint recently that's not a watch store a watch repair place I know the place you're talking about I knew you would

you used to live on that street actually well you didn't live there you stayed there for an extended period of time. What's the difference? We're always just staying where we are for an extended period unless you buy a house. And even then.

What's that? Even then, you're kind of just, we're all just here temporarily. See, now, Joel, that's interesting. What you're saying is just like putting gatekeeping. Like, what about this life isn't temporary my name is Jeff that was good that was like every person

that was like every dumb person's favorite joke for like 10 years my name is Jeff wait I like that joke where it was like oh so your name is Jeff and it was like the guy whose name is spelled j-e-f-f yes whatever the other guy yes and then then you would say y-e-o-s that was good that's good but like that's the kind of energy you bring to this podcast when i was in high school just

everybody would be like my name is jeff and i'm like that's not a joke. I don't know what that is. I think it's from 21 Jump Street. Oh yeah. Is it really? I'm just like even in context it's not funny. I feel like there's like 2% of names that just

people think are funny. No like like if you have them at the wrong moment. Oh yeah. Like if your name was like Charlie when Charlie bit my finger came out

like that's just like what your life was yeah we have are we getting one We have to stop doing this. I would like to. I'm pretty hungry. I'm starving. My stomach has been growling. It's been 42 minutes.

We could call it here and just let people be really upset, or we could save it somehow. Grand Central Oyster Bar? Well, not after this flesh-eating fucking virus that you guys mentioned, but I would go somewhere interesting like that, sure. Flugs. You guys think I should have prepared something? I don't think you should have prepared something.

I think you should not have played as many sound effects as you did you think that's what ruined it? why don't we just talk for a bit then about what? fucking oh you know what maybe like some of the oldest no we did that let's do some of the newest bars in New York City

people are gonna hate that what's like the most pressing issue That you guys are dealing with in your life That you're willing to share And get my advice about Fast I have to go to a wedding Tomorrow

At an Italian restaurant Formal attire The outfit that I ordered was a jumpsuit, not arriving on time. Sure. All I have by way of I guess formal attire is a suit,

but I don't know what shirt to wear. Ralph Lauren says, says, not said, says, that the sexiest thing a woman can do is wear a tux. So I think you should rent a tux. I'm not going to rent a tux. Then don't ask my advice if you're not going to do it.

Well, the invite said men will be in dark suits, so I assumed not tuxes. It's not black tie. You said formal. Formal. If it's not black tie, it's not formal. Well, it said formal.

They don't know what the fuck they're talking about. I agree. Clearly they didn't go to an etiquette class and then subsequently be a chaperone for that etiquette class when they were in high school. And that's what you did. Did you do that? I sort of did, yeah.

Is that cotillion? It was a chaperone for an etiquette class. Sort of did, yeah. Is that cotillion? It wasn't cotillion. What was a chaperone for an etiquette class? Basically, you like make sure that the guys are behaving themselves. And you do it like super rudely. I was so rude to the kids, but it was just so funny to me.

The only person who doesn't need to abide by the rules is the chaperone. Exactly right. So I didn't abide by the rules when I was in the etiquette class, which it was just so my parents wanted me to be able to box step. So I don't abide by the rules when I was in the etiquette class, which it was just so my parents wanted me to be able to box step. So I don't know why. That was all they teach you is a box step and then outdated social norms that I've never encountered as an adult. They're like a lady always wears her gloves. And it's like if a woman's approaching the table, you stand up and it's like all that shit.

So but then I needed a job in high school and i worked at a cafe but it was too much work so then i decided to do this instead why was it too much work a lot of divorcees so we were demanding not very nice of your time and your energy yeah my spirit mostly uh but my spirit was fed by yelling at children yeah so i was like i feel like that's often the case but i feel like there was always, and Joel, you were probably one of these guys, but it was basically like there was always like two or three guys that were like the bad boys. Oh, yeah.

Back of the class kind of kids. Back of the class kind of kids. Back of the class kind of kids. Of course. I don't believe it. I think you were a middle of the class. No, no, no, no. I actually really established the energy I was going to bring to our

off-site in Denver. We had our first meeting and I was like, I'm sitting in the back row. You actually, you're dressed like one of these kids now. Yeah, you're an adult now. What was your energy like in middle school? Way more toxic. Me too.

I was one of them. So then I was like, to atone for that, I was one of them So then I was like I was To atone for that I was like Let me like Really crack Down on these Fucking boys

I would say Toxic Was front of the class No You were front of the class I was not front of the class What were you middle? Middle to back

I don't like I don't like volunteering information so i don't like raising my hand well like speaking of what are you dealing with i i i thought joel said the first thing because i'm so tired what are you dealing with most presently uh life is pretty good at the moment, I'm sorry to say. You know, just the constant, what are we doing with our lives? Totally. How should one be, Jeff? I guess that's my question for you.

One should be... Joy. Joy. One should stay wise if you've already gotten there, and then if not, you should stay wise if you already have gotten there and then if not you should get wise right

and uh I think that I think for a live show you should get because I'm on the verge of like a it's either gonna be a breakdown

or it's gonna be a breakthrough it's either gonna be epiphany or a palpitation exactly um embody kind going to be epiphany or a palpitation. Exactly. Embody kind. Totally.

So that's sort of adding to the duo to make the trio. So it's be joy, get wise, embody kind. Alright, I can do that. What about like embellish? Everything. Faith.

So sort of be not truthful about what you believe. No. about what you believe. No. I think that you should get those tattoos that you want, the Be Joy and Get Wise, on stage, live. I don't think I could do more tattoos with letters

because I've already done words here. Okay. But like, that's one inch of your body? I don't think you should have more. I don't know. It looks weird when people have too much writing. And I don't think you should have more i don't know it looks weird when people have too much writing and i don't even just mean as tattoos i mean like i look at certain authors

you know with a skeptical eye it's like you were getting paid by the word for sure you switch to podcasting yeah yeah otherwise i would have been an author that would have been great you should write a book honestly i would write a great i think yeah i think you should write a book what should it be about getting being joy and getting wise and then i i think that you write the foreword and you kind of shoehorn in your own section about embellishing faith. I actually have an interesting story. Why? Before that, I do think you should write a book and I think it should either be self-help

or you would write a fiction book about you're going to the Laurel Canyon. Some character in that era. Emma Klein already did that with her book Daddy.

It takes place in Laurel Canyon, partially. That's one book. That's the only story to be told in modern day Laurel. It doesn't have to be modern day Laurel. It can be a made up Laurel. It can be the Laurel thatl. Right what you know and I don't know the old Laurel. It could be the Laurel that you want to see in the world. Be the Laurel that you want to see in the world.

It's just going to be me waxing about how I want the real estate prices to come down. It's kind of a manifesto. Damn. We do have to get the fuck out of here. Plugs. Oh, sorry. Yeah, Joel. No, it's not interesting.

No, it's interesting. No. Even if you're right, even if you're right, just say it because then I'll feel bad. No, it's okay. And I have no plugs. I'm worthless.

I can't help but feel like Marika had something to do with this. I don't think you're worthless. You have worth, for sure. You have worth, for sure. Maybe I have a little bit worth, but no plugs still. That's fair.

Be joy, get wise, embody kind. And embellish everything. Have worth. Follow me. I'm Marie K. Lon on Twitter slash X, Instagram, Blue Sky, Threads, Letterboxd, TikTok.

Listen to The Pit Wall. Buy me an Opal ice machine. And go see Glory Days 2024 Keen Company production. Great musical. And before that go to Keens.

I guess so, yeah. And do that wearing Keens. What are those? Really nerdy shoes. Kind of front of the class kid kind of shoes. Exactly right. Be joy. Get wise, of the class kid kind of shoes. Exactly right. I wouldn't know. Be joy.

Be joy. Get wise, obviously. Yeah. Embody kind. Have hate. Have hate. Have hate.

Have hate. Basically cut it in half. Zeno's paradox of hatred. Do you guys know the founder of Crocs made a new shoe called Joy Bees, which is the exact same thing as Crocs, just it's hexagons instead of circles. And I kid you not, these hexagons are so circular looking,

you need to like really zoom in to tell that it's six lines and not just a circle. I really feel like I should sue because it's just the inverse of my personal mantra. I think we should... These are the same fucking thing. This is it. It's crazy, right? That's insane. I saw this. I couldn't get over it.

I had, like, spent two of the best hours of my life. What a waste of his time. Like, nobody's gonna switch over from Crocs, and he's investing his own money into this shit. What the fuck? Just have the... He's a billionaire. No, I think he actually had a big...

According to Kimber, the woman who was helping me buy shoes at the shoe store in Boulder, he got into some big fight with the original Crocs people. So that's why he kind of had to move on. I see. I thought he sold it, though. Maybe. But I guess this kind of fits your thing if there's no new ideas

yeah even the fucking Crocs guy ran out and that guy's a genius a fucking legend That was a Hidgum Original.