The Headgum Podcast - 171: Faith

Episode Date: September 22, 2023

Amir, Anya, and Brad join Geoff to discuss George Michael and the state of affairs at Headgum! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum original previously on the head gum podcast can i add a weapon yeah i mean amir's been answering these these are his answers so far yeah uh just a really bad outfit and gun all caps um i'm gonna go recurve bow and arrows yeah and when you say recurved you mean like it was originally a perfect bow and arrow and then it was recurved into a flat stick yeah it's kind this point uh donahue uh this is a tough one um i would feel like i would want something in my hand what happened the last half hour just a series of unfortunate mistakes honestly it's a miracle that i'm here but you guys will never know the real reason you could tell us no because it's like oddly personal really so why bring it up incredibly private but it's like oh my god if you guys knew the real story you'd be like holy shit you got

can you give us any hint what do you mean it's incredibly private it's more than just private yeah yeah that's like globally private. That feels less personal. Contradictory. It's personal and it's private. Huh. If that makes sense. And it's global. It only lasted 18 minutes, though.

No, no, way longer than that. That's the crazy part. That's the crazy part? How much longer before 10 a.m like my day started at like eight and like the five whatever happened happened in two hours and 18 minutes is probably a world record how and you don't want us to know or you don't want it to be recorded tell you what does that mean? Just everything got pushed and pushed

and pushed. It sounds like you just don't want to explain why you were late. And Luke is outside. I have to bring him back in. I'm not even done. Like whatever it is, I'm not done. The dog. Oh.

Sounds like you just needed to let it go. I can still hear you. What's funny, too, is that he was like, my day started at like, and he thought of the earliest possible time. And he said, Fucking eight. Oh, my God.

He's been up for so long. This episode has to go out tomorrow. Oh. Are we acknowledging how early it is and how different all of this sounds first thing in the morning? Yeah. 8 a.m. 8 a.m.

Day after Christmas. Oh. It is earlier than normal, but that's why we got to bring that certain faith. Not energy. Faith that the next 40 minutes or so will go well against all odds, against all Brad's efforts. Did you know that the song you

played? I was just gonna say. And Faith. George Michael. That's right. You picked the wrong song. Do you feel stupid? I guess you could say. Let's whisper. Nice. Yeah, nice. We're gonna get

into some shit. Here's what I realized over the holiday weekend. Holiday weekend? Any weekend's a holiday if you take Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off. Were you traveling? I was fucking floundering is what I was doing. More than traveling. I was ignoring my texts.

That's true. One text. You also texted me at 5.10 a.m still where were you i was in fucking new york it was 8 10 were you just in new york then you flew back and then you flew back to new york it was for a you want to talk about personal matters it was for a personal matter well love to know It's for a memorial. Right, sorry about that. And then I was back. Got it. I woke up in a noble bed.

It's so bad. 10 a.m., 8 a.m. It's 6.30 in the goddamn morning. It's not bad. 10 a.m. 8 a.m. It's 6.30 in the goddamn morning. It's not. Really? Yeah, it's 10.21. It's still early for the show. Usually, this is really an afternoon show.

This is like 4 p.m. so that everybody can go have a drink afterwards. Am I right, Brad? Yeah, we all need it. Am I right, Brad? How many cold brews have you had today? I had a leftover one, and it's from here to here. That's it. I will say, Amir, this isn't, it's not a big deal, but I feel like if you were on time,

his energy would have been completely different. I think it would have been peaceful, yeah. Yeah, he's so antagonistic right now. He's acting out. He's acting out. And I don't know if he's hangry or cranky, which is cranky and hangry, but something is not correct.

I thought it was cranberry and hangry. So I'm a hankering for cragu, which is cranberry ragu. And you have a UTI. That's absolutely correct. So that's why I'm having red sauce Italian, but the red is crayon. Yes, yes. The red is crayon.

The red is crayon. And my shirt is rayon. That's bad. What did you guys do Last weekend For the holiday Or not Because it could have been normal It could have been

You having Faith Faith Faith That this episode Would happen on Thursday What do you think last weekend was Like

There was no holiday weekend A fucking Frenzy It was like so long ago also It was a goof It was Thursday man It was a fucking Dance

September 4th you mean Labor Day It was a goof. It was Thursday, man. It was a fucking dance. September 4th, you mean? It was a delicate balance. No. September 15th, 16th, and 17th. And 18th, 19th, 20th. If you took those days off. I didn't take those days off. Yeah, what if we didn't?

Then how was your fucking normal ass weekend? Which is less interesting, by the way. It's way more interesting to say, why weren't you in work from Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday? Didn't Limp Bizkit cover that song? Cause I gotta have faith! Cause you gotta have faith! That's enough.

If you don't like me at my best, you won't like me at Fred Durst. What are you? Basically. No, not basically. What are you? Because it's not normal. That was pretty par for the course.

Par for the course, for sure. Yeah, pun about Limp Bizkit. It's sort of like in line like if you were gonna write for the show yeah exactly that would be in your packet because you have to imitate the host's voice yeah yeah yeah sorry dog's going bark about durst kush that's i don't know what that is but that's par for like the we're now back on a Zoom, back in pandemic style. Is a fucking rabbit rot worst? Okay.

Do we have to translate to everyone who doesn't live near downtown LA now, or we just leave that reference for everybody to not understand? No, I got it. Anya, take it away. I literally don't got it. And she lives in LA, so 99% of the people won't get it. I have no idea what he's talking about. It's a miracle that Brad knew what we were talking about.

This is fun, huh? Not really. There's a hot dog place called Worst Cooch in downtown, and they sell weird or exotic animals as sausages. For example, rattlesnake and rabbit. So Jeff said Durst Cooch, which is Fred Durst's version of this specific sausage. This part I've now got, yeah. But the sausages are... Brad, what is on your old CRT TV?

It's the haunted mask. Goosebumps. Okay. And that's not just a mix between the mask and the haunted mask. Brad is living a lifestyle none of us could ever touch. Not really. I mean, he has that shelf from Ikea that everyone owns.

Wow. Yeah. I mean, it's from Ikea. Everyone owns it because it's a low cost and decent craftsmanship. It does the job that I needed to do, which is holding stuff on it. You're always talking about the background

of my office. Every time I'm on this show, you bring it up. And I tried to make it better. Anya said Brad is living a life none of us can understand or imagine. I said I could have that background. Make it a little less cluttered.

And Amir, what do you think? In my defense, I was mostly talking about waking up in the morning choosing a vhs popping it in you want to talk about an unattainable life i think that's not i mine was not derogatory that was 40 it's but what i want to talk about is unattainable which is actually unattainable because look how many candelabras she has. I only have three. Right? She has fucking eight. That's still a lot. That's three is still a lot. Original painting, she said, from a gun store.

We should say. That also sells honey. Yeah. I used to live in the country. That's where you get art. That's a new background for Jeff. Are you at home or are you somewhere else? It's not a new background.

I put up art between the last time you were on the show and now. You haven't been on the Zoom episodes that we've done. You haven't watched the episodes. Thanks a lot, by the way. Because in all the ad reads, you've seen the gallery wall that I put up. It's all fine. It's all there. So this is your place in L.A.?

Because you've got to have faith. Faith. Faith. Faith Faith Faith Careless rice paper That's got legs So you're like making I don't know

That's got legs. Brad has to say that as your subordinate. By the way. That it has legs. I'm his sub. Careless rice paper. Let's work on it. Let's workshop it.

There are no bad ideas in this. Yeah. What else? Careless rice paper. Let's work on it. Let's workshop it. There are no bad ideas in this. Come on, yeah. What else? Careless rice paper. Jeff, Jeff, this is an A and B, Amir and Brad conversation. It could also be Anya. And Anya. So, yeah, G, why don't you G, Jeff, your way out of here.

G, why don't you get out of here, basically. G. C. Yes, exactly. I would propose you've got to have rice. It's easier. That's good. It's got legs.

It's an easier win. Because you've got to have rice. Rice. It would be because you've got to burn rice. I just started hopping here. Oh, yeah. Char, rice, rice. Char, grains.

Yeah. Boiled. Grains. Grains. I did. I was looking at like a cereal box ingredients and it said the first ingredient was parboiled rice. Parboiled brown rice.

No. And I laughed for about an hour and a half. What cereal? Or no, maybe it wasn't cereal. It was like rice chips or something. Yeah, maybe it wasn't cereal. It was actually just a bag of rice. It was actually just parboiled brown rice.

Yeah, that was the ingredient. It didn't say that on there anyway. It just kind of was. No, I do want to get to something. I feel like this show has strayed maybe too far away from what it was originally, which was like an in-house movement in a way of like the inner workings of the network, you know, like asking people how things were going from the inside out, whether or not they were being turned to this. So I thought we could all talk about what's going on at the network for real, for real. Right? Energy just took such a nosedive.

Does anyone here actually know? I feel like we're not really involved. In the news video, for sure. It's a big newish thing. Yeah. In the studio? It's sort of a thrown together, pieced together threadbare

visage. It's a desert mirage. God, Anya's not on the Zoom because she would be really upset that you said that. I would be. I didn't know you were that involved. Instead, we have Anya Zero on, her alter personality. Yeah, who loves Jeff and is fine with everything he says.

Dark Anya. Anya. Dark Brandon. Anya Sykes. I really didn't know you were involved with that studio why what's my title producer studio manager

yes exactly who did you think was involved fucking a producer on the recap show Peter I don't know someone unknown to me it looks fine. I just wanted to say it looked bad.

Because that feels better than giving praise. Did you prepare questions about what's going on? Yes, I did. Let's hear them. It's more based on y'all's individual performance. But I thought it would be a springboard to talk about further issues. Fair. Fine with me.

What goals slash deliverables are y'all least proud of? What goals am I least proud of? Probably growing and monetizing the network because it's very shallow. Okay, okay. Now we're getting somewhere. So the goal is to grow the network. Yes. But he's not proud of that.

I just haven't quite seen that happening from your ass in the last year. Really? 2021 was great. I think we've had some pretty big shows, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brad, what are your goals and deliverables are you least proud of? I don't know.

Increasing ad revenue. You should be proud of that, though. Yeah, you're right. I should be proud of that. We are doing well. I guess I do have a lot to be proud of. Thanks. Really good answer from Brad.

Anya? Thanks, man. I'm going to go with Deliverable I'm least proud of? Thanks. Really good answer from Brad. Anya? Thanks, man. I'm going to go with Deliverable I'm least proud of. I bought, I decided to save the company money and I bought a less good gaff tape. Cost half as much as the good one.

It was by Tape King. We do not want it. No sponsorship from Tape King. Drag them, please. It left like a film on all of the cables and stuff that we taped down. So we're pro-GAF tape users now. Pro-GAF. You know double-sided tape?

Sorry. Zero-sided tape. It was a ribbon. Yeah. So to answer your question, It was a ribbon. Yeah. So to answer your question,

kind of saving the company money, buying a lesser quality tape, that's my big humiliation, 2023. Would you say that's your biggest gaffe? I would. I should have said. Yeah. Is that the kind of stuff you wanted to hear about uh moving on moving on

what can i do to help so much okay so better meet your goals yeah We don't have time to get through it. Respond to real crux of the episode at this point. Don't ask us about our goals and stuff. It's mostly just the question. You're saying it's the crux of the whole fucking thing? Yeah, that's the big one. This is a warm-up.

We could stop recording and really get into it. If you're opening the door for that. Maybe. I've, I really, we got to take a break. Just because the show keeps selling out. The show keeps selling out slash ads. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right?

But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day. Like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe and their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important

and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands. I like to drink it first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water. I'll have my AG1 and then I'll have my coffee and it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com. What's that? Check it out.

You simply have to turn it down. It's so loud. Okay. Here's the thing. I need... I have to use my ears to edit audio That was easy Jesus man We are back

We're so back The show is on another level all of a sudden I have like a metallic taste in my mouth Really? Yeah like I feel like I'm dying I taste metal We have new sounds Really? Yeah, like I feel like I'm dying. I taste metal. We have new sounds.

We have new energy. Why are they turned up so high? That's it. They're not turned up to any degree. That's just what they're mixed at. You can't export it at levels on them. What do you want me to know? Because if I download the sounds and then I bring them down, it'll still be peaking just at negative 6 dB.

Right? So it'll still be grating to hear. It'll still be good to have. Yeah, but it won't be as loud. So what? Grace is going to mix it down at some point. That's actually worse because I feel like people don't understand why we're having the reactions we're having.

I watched an episode recently where we're all like you know, and everyone must be like, what is wrong with these people that they can't handle the things coming into their head. You gotta talk to Ferris Bonshi. I mean, he revolutionized the bringing down of the levels that were high when it was recorded.

He left because he didn't want to work on your show anymore. Really? Yes. That's what he said? Yeah. Was it because I made a song parody about pegging him? That didn't help. It did not help. But actually, to answer your question from earlier,

you shouldn't do things like that. I shouldn't, yeah, talk about... Having or halving or halving other employees. Next segment. I think next segment time. Just because there's two ads. Yeah. Yeah.

What jobs, responsibilities, and tasks do you guys enjoy most? And what do you least enjoy? You're looking at it, baby. And for least enjoy? It's just going to be so hard to go back to work. No one's going to understand why the three of us are the way we are for the rest of the day. I have to go into the office and people are going to think something bad happened to me.

I think if you just say, I did the HeadGum podcast this morning, people will be like, oh, God. I did the HeadGum podcast this morning. Amir was 10 minutes late and that set Jet off in a way that I've never... Jet threw a table. guess this morning, Amir was 10 minutes late and that set Jet off in a way that I've never actually seen. I mean, do you think he'll go into the office? I mean, it's free lunch day. When am I going to not go in?

What are we thinking? Has there been a Slack message about it? No, and it always happens right at the last minute. Then usually I'm kind of driving in at that moment hoping to get the free lunch. Hoping it's needle. Oh God, if it was needle, I'd be leaving this fucking

podcast instantly. To be early. I'd be on a fucking plane to get churn fun. Sorry? Sorry? Churn fun. Sorry, one second. Okay.

He said that twice, and now a monster made out of needles showed up as an exercise. What do you think we should have, Brad? It's never up to me. My choice is good. I don't know. It seems like Erewhon is thrown out a lot.

I've never been to an Erewhon before, but it just seems overpriced. It's not even good. I really liked... I did stop at Needle last time I was in. I enjoyed it. You had to, because you were like, why is Amir talking about this all the time?

Yeah. But it's hard to eat there by yourself, because you want to get a bunch of stuff and share. You just get one dish. There's a food truck, right? Oh, Simone. Oh, yeah yeah that's what i stopped at i didn't stop at needle that's right you got a fish taco place you got a fish taco yeah i got those are great right i got ceviche actually it was awesome those are good and so this is all in

response to what responsibilities and tasks you enjoy most? We're talking about a fucking noodle dim sum place. Sorry, where'd you go, Jeff? This is why we're hemorrhaging. What's up? Where'd you go? The management company of this building is trying to, I think they're trying to sell the building, so they're doing an inspection. Follow-up, actually.

You're getting evicted right as you put up a gallery wall? Now that's viral content. Here's the thing. If they sell the building, they have to pay us to leave. But you just got in. That's worth it to you, though. And I'm going to make out

with a bunch of cash. Ideally, 12 grand. I would take 12 grand for sure. But I'll take as high as like 500. As high as 500? 1,000. What's that? Do you guys know about cars?

Like the Disney Pixar movie? Or the concept? My car's in the shop and they're texting me about it but I don't know how to respond. You say nice. That's awesome. Put the grease to the wheel, brother. They have questions for me and I don't know exactly.

Okay, so like read out the questions that they've asked. Hey, Amir. I was just told by the production manager that it looks like it's time to replace the main... That's my job. We have the same job. That's crazy. Yeah.

No, so I'm being you. I'm being you is what you should text them back. Start over. I was just told by the production manager that it looks like it's time to replace the main battery. Looks like it for sure. Not enough juice to run the calibration on your car. Do you want us to replace the battery out of pocket?

And if you want dealer battery or aftermarket, please advise. Let's go top of the line aftermarket. And can daddy get a discount? Dealer battery is $2.75. Aftermarket battery is $1.95. Who would say $2.75 in this world? I don't know, because maybe aftermarket batteries aren't good or something. Marty would definitely get the

Go with the cheaper option. Batteries are battery aftermarket. Batteries are not the thing you need to be built by the fucking manufacturer. There's great batteries. This is like actual advice. No one's even making jokes. Yeah. Most boring episode we've ever done.

What's that? Most boring episode we've ever done. What's that? Most boring episode we've ever done. Well, it's actually helpful. For you. Yeah.

All right, let's move on. I asked if it was going to be done on the same timeline or if, like, the one's in stock.

No, because you see what happens here is, like, this is why I'm always, like, it's a fucking Sisyphusian task hosting the show.

People like to think it's a Sisyphusian guest. But I'm, like, it's a fucking Sisyphusian task hosting the show. People like to think it's a Sisyphusian task to guest. But I'm like working up against your guys' asses, right? Because you were like, I... You're pushing us up by

our asses. Up the hill by our asses. No, Amir was like, oh, like, do you guys know anything about cars? And it's like, oh, here's a new topic. And then he's like, and then I try to turn it into a bit i try to be like read out the texts from the dealer and i'll respond as you and i try to make it funny and then instead brad responds honestly on your response honestly amir just powers through doesn't respond at all in a funny way like is this a comedy podcast or is this an advice podcast because i have a lot of advice to dole out to other people on how to be good how to be good i think it's a comedy podcast

not an advice podcast so why don't you give me something to fucking work with let's give me something to talk about he did So bow. He did. How about faith? Faith. What do you like least about your current role and when? Amir. Is that your answer or are you telling me to talk? Both. That's her answer. Moving on to you.

I guess I don't like administrative Zoom meetings where I'm not being as creative i'm being more like managerial he's talking about this one i also don't like telling people no if they're like we want to be on head gum this is our show and we obviously can't take everybody's podcasts so a lot of times not me personal but i yeah we have to like, but I have to let people down. We have to divert as many resources as possible to this show. So it's like we have to say no to people with... I was going to say... Dead battery.

This show is basically draining us. You're a dead battery of a man. You're empty. Look, I'm holding Jeff. Uh-oh, another Jeff. Oh, there's two of them. Guys, I'm holding two Jeffs. It's not possible.

I'm one of a kind. Oh, it's just joking. Yeah, well, it didn't land as a joke. It landed as that's how you really feel. It can be both. Brad, just one second. I appreciate your support in this moment.

I'm not supporting you at all. Amir, that hit me in my archetypal center in a way I might not recover from. I don't think you're using that word correctly. I don't think so either. I think it was right. I appreciate the support from you anya but it's way below me in this moment that wasn't all right with me

it's not cool with me i don't care about you dude i like it when you kind of smile but like you bring that energy to the podcast and it's not at me. That's what I'm doing right now. Yeah. I'm sacrificing you for the better good of the show. My least favorite thing about my role is that I don't get to be there with you guys.

Then move. He can't look at all that stuff, Dan. It'll take forever. I got all this shit what are two to three things I could do to differently slash better

manage you you don't say that again speak to that a little more You don't. Say that again. Anya said, speak to that a little more. Can you guys sort of wax about that? Speak on it, can you? So that would actually explain a lot if you thought you were our manager the whole time.

Is that not true? That's not true. It's not true. And it would explain why you think it's okay not to respond to our slacks and texts and emails. Yeah, but hosts, right? They're usually the fucking boss. No. Jimmy Fallon paying all of his writers, right? Drew Barrymore.

You are making good connections. If you're like anyone at HeadGum, you're the Jimmy Fallon of this place. People say that you're the Jimmy Fallon of HeadGum. Yeah, I have heard that. People are saying it. I sort of bring joy instead of

alcoholism. You're like the sober Jimmy Fallon. That's worse. That's worse because he has that, you know, he's struggling with something. You're saying I'm fine and I still create a toxic environment? Well, we didn't say you're fine.

Amir, I really appreciate the support. Why? I haven't said anything to support you Silence is complicity Silence is faith Silence is Felicity Jeff's not old enough to know what that is Do you even remember how big of a deal it was when Felicity cut her hair? Or were you like four at the time?

I don't know what year that was. Exactly. Anya, tell us. I think it was like season three of Felicity. So when was that? Carrie Russell cut her hair. Her hair kind of looked like Jeff's, and then she cut it, and she looked bad.

It was a big deal. Season three, that would have been 2001 so I would have been yeah for you guys remember the Rachel oh my god I had that I had a Bob with layers from my barber Bob and he basically gave me the Rachel before seven played. Multi-dimensional guy. He opened up over years. Slash beers. Can I get the Rachel?

Says Amir. Who are we on friends on friends I mean I'm obviously Chandler right no you're Joey no Joey a ladies man who eats a lot

yeah you're housing cranbread sauce if anything I'm Ross but I'm probably Chandler you're like a Ross Chandler hybrid I think you're Joey Who's Joey? Jeff is Joey He's a dumbass

No you're a dumbass He's a bit of a Joey Joey would think someone else is the Joey When he's the Joey Jeff honestly Ross wouldn't even show up to the record Jeff is Mr. Heckles The neighbor that died in season one

He's an ugly naked guy I mean this so sincerely I'm not even making a joke Jeff you would be Phoebe No I'm Phoebe That sucks No Phoebe's great You know it's Jeff

I don't think that's This is none That I had no negative Or positive connotations Yeah Jeff is a bit of a Phoebe Because he's spiritual. Don't ever speak on me or my faith, the faith, the faith.

It's not really faith, though. I have a question. Why? You haven't done any of your regular segments today. That's fine. I'm going to go Bond of the Week. Do you want to do Bond of the Week? I haven't done any of your regular segments today. That's fine. Okay. I'm going to go Bond of the Week.

Do you want to do Bond of the Week? We can fucking make it up as we go, but it's fine. I don't know. Make it up as we go, but usually we plan this out. I just feel like sometimes you need a disruptor week where we don't do any of the normal stuff. Truly, I was laying awake nights this weekend, this holiday weekend, being like, we haven't actually talked about the network for years.

Right? We haven't done a State of the Gum. We haven't done a... Is that a thing you used to do? Yeah. You don't even know what it is because we stopped doing it before you started here two years ago. So let's... Are people asking for it back, though?

People within the network, specifically Marie. Sound off below. Do you want State of the Gun back? And smash that like button while you're at it. That's a good point. And subscribe. What's actually happening in the network? Share it with a friend.

Turn on notifications. Let's talk about the fucking recap show. Sorry. We're contractually not allowed to talk about it. What does that mean? It's out. It's all out We're contractually not allowed to talk about it. What does that mean? It's out. It's all out. So then what's there to talk about?

Yeah, let's talk about another show on this podcast. Yeah, like go watch that show, I guess. Just fucking plugging other things on the network, trying to like foster cash. Well, technically that's not a head gum. Foster cats. We helped produce the show for uh reading so what's the most exciting signing recently to headgum and not some bullshit that katie put together

bullshit she could pull the plug on you so fast really she signs your checks babe you can't be doing that she'll never hear that because she doesn't listen to this show. True, but I'll play it for her. No, because she sort of holds my feet to the fire on a weekly basis. Yeah. Whether she reaches out or not. She wants nothing to do with your feet. Sometimes, yeah, it hurts harder.

We got some exciting new developments happening in October, but I don't want to say them yet because this episode comes out Friday, September 22nd. Comes out in 12 hours. Anything happening in the next 12 hours? Yeah. Are you going to have a busy time editing this

as soon as this ends? I don't think anything's going to get cut so far. At the very least, bronze. What about that one thing you said? That's gone. And the other thing you said? So something is going to get cut. Nope.

We have a new show called Foosballs. Oh, yeah, the fantasy football podcast. Yeah, so if you're into betting on sports. That sounds awful. Come on, man. No, I appreciate it. It's a great show if you're into betting on sports.

Amir likes that. That's why this show that has probably, I mean, how many listeners does it have? 400? This show? Yeah. The HeadGum Podcast? No, Foosball.

Oh. Balls. Probably more than the HeadGum Podcast? No, Foosball. Oh. Balls. Probably more than the HeadGum Podcast. Yeah, definitely. Really? Because they have funny hosts and famous guests and stuff like that. Paul Scheer was on this episode. Yeah.

I could get Paul Scheer on this show. Flying off the shelf. Can you imagine wasting Paul Scheer's time with this show? I could easily get Paul Scheer. Jesus Christ. I couldn't live with myself. You can't live with yourself now. You said that there was like a two and a half hour ordeal

from 8 a.m. to the start of this show. It seemed house-related or not household-related for sure. I think he was crafting a text to the mechanic. I haven't heard back about it. Should we call him? Did you send it to Pep Boys? Which mechanic did you give it to? Caliber Collision

They're good Are they? I really need to take my truck into the shop Because it's been falling apart at the seams Because people keep bumping into it The seams? It's funny No one says that about a car

It's going to play a sound It's going to play a sound it's funny no one says that about a car sound it is like that is like fucked up true um i really tried i really tried i thought we had 33 minutes of good shit and then the last six minutes has been nonsense. Nothing else going on at the network. Why don't you have a mic stand? I did. I had a mic arm, but it doesn't attach to this table. It attached to my old desk that I had to sell

because I don't have the space for it anymore. Well, there's no possible way to fix that problem, so I guess you just got to hold the mic forever now. It's kind of a cool look. It's just a surprising choice. For someone that has a comedy podcast network, we have mic arms and Stanton. You ain't him.

You're not that guy. Anya loved it. Everyone, look guys, Jeff's back. You're a dead double A. Empty.

You're a dead double A in aardvark. Acid. You're battery acid. What else do I got here? It's a prop comic now. Another battery, which you've already done. No, that's for its bees. The biggest battery.

This was a battery. Oh, my God. Everything tubular is energy to you. That's the fluffy problem. That's the problem? Why didn't you hold that up when we were waxing? If you're a prop comic. It's pretty good actually.

Save that for later. Nope, because we already did it. We already said it. Here we go. Last couple questions. Usually there's like different segments and like they're fun. Yeah. You never do segments when I'm on the show.

He thinks you can't handle it. I've never gotten to play Jeopardy. To be honest, I give segments to people who need it. And I'm sorry for assuming that you could carry the show without a segment I mean I think I'll stop doing I'll stop you doing

do that service I'll stop doing you that honor I'll start bringing you on for Jeopardy which I usually do for guests who don't know the show so that you can dox them as efficiently as possible hey the star of the show is here oh look at the little guy under by missing

four teeth every other tooth is gone he's beautiful he's he's good he's a good dog I really couldn't even make a joke I tried to but I can't. There's no problem that I have. I don't have any problem with Luke. I have all my problems with Luke. Well, he's been barking the whole time,

so I thought if I brought him in here, put him into the microphone. No, you can't hear it. Imagine if you had a problem with his joke. I have a specific beef with Luke. What would that be? He sniffed my crotch in front of a crowd, making it appear like I hadn't showered.

And that wasn't fine with me. I had. Fucking. How do you think your role helps the company succeed? And then we'll go to. We got a. Just because it's 11. We got a. It's only's 11, we got a...

It's only been 43 minutes. Fine. That's an unbelievable amount of time. What do you have going on? Let's fucking get this over with. But what about all that stuff we have to cut? Brad, fucking what do you got?

What the fuck is that? It's a TikTok song, all right? I'm trying to get younger. You know what TikTok song I really like is the Doja Cat, Paint the Town Red song. Doja. Beautiful. Yeah, exactly.

Sounds like that. I said what I said. I bet to be famous instead. I feel like the way you pronounce Doja, it was like D-O-Z-H-A. Oh, Doja. Which is not how you pronounce her name, I don't think. Am I wrong? Oh, he's muted.

I muted him to get through plugs, but then Brad said we aren't plugging. This is the first time I've ever felt like I'm not the one hosting the show. It seems like Brad is, so take it away, Brad. Okay. Welcome back to the HeadGum Podcast. It's not a radio show. Sorry. The only podcast on the internet

hosted by Jeffrey Jane. Coming up on the show this week, we got Don't Get Any Don't Let Don't Get Lost in the Dust. It'll be hard to get off you because we got on you. And then bringing up the frontal, we've got a beer. Let's start it off with everyone's favorite segment.

Should we start recording? Harry Potter of the week. Let's start recording now. This, of course, is the segment where we talk about who is going to be cast as the new Harry Potter in the HBO adaptation

of Harry Potter. Amir, who do you have for Potter of the Week? Ooh, I'm going to go with Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis. Soundbite. Soundbite. Can I connect to my soundboard actually, Jeff?

Can you? He has one. I don't fucking know. Do you have that? I have a soundboard for my podcast that I do. You don't do a podcast? Yeah, it's called Bill King's Podcast, launching soon. Why is it not on HeadGone?

Because I am nobody. Because we're busy making this show. Yeah. Well, now that I'm hosting this show, HeadGumPodcast, it says I can't do screen sharing. I'm going to end it right there. that was a Hidgum original