The Headgum Podcast - 172: Yotel

Episode Date: September 29, 2023

Amir and Marika join the show to discuss Geoff's trip to San Francisco, actor Jonathan Frake, and the Yotel. Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify Join the Headgum DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. This is for tomorrow again? Yep. I mean, we're only like what? Seven hours out? Six hours out? We're recording this at 5 p.m. on a Thursday. This shit comes out tomorrow morning, man.

I mean, the energy is imbued. Right? Yes. Yes. Yes. Of course. So what if Rick and I weren't available Thursday at 8 at 5? Yeah, just get on with it. Just get on with it. Fucking go.

Just say it. I'm saying it. What if we weren't available right now? Yeah. Come on. It would have been a fucking solo dolo episode I would have done it by my own

lonesome right the issue was I sneak up on you Friday or because it's happened every single Friday for three years so I'm wondering why it's like oh shit I do this tomorrow did it sneak up on me or am I sort of operating from the question that i

asked it uh the week got away from me i was in san francisco the bay area to be sure and um joseph a biden uh flew in i guess he's doing some fundraising in atherton or some shite and uh he was staying across the street from me at the uh for lack of a better term fairmount and so what happened was they shut down the streets in every direction right so for me to get to the airport on time was not even in the cards and so there wasn't any way i could record monday tuesday or wednesday what about last week like last how did you? How did you not know that he was there until you were leaving for the airport? I don't follow the guy's whereabouts.

It's not my job to make sure that the taxpayer is being fucking charged for him to stay at a five-star hotel, by the way. You'd assume that you'd notice something going going around at least like a couple hours before. A couple hours. I flew in on Saturday. All right. This was this started. He flew in on Tuesday. Right.

By the way, I flew via JSX. And I'd love to talk about that jet suite X. It's a shuttle flight. You can get from L.A. to San Francisco on a private jet for the cost of less than a fucking commercial airline ticket with 29 other people including twice nick kroll right and so but the thing you're signing up for there is that it's like a different section of the oakland airport right and that's the section by the way that air force one lands at so guess what they also flying private semi they still fucking moved our flight to Buchanan Airfield. Two hours away.

Was Kroll pissed? I don't think Kroll. Kroll wasn't on this leg. Kroll was there when I went to SF for the Dead Company show. Right? And so what had happened was my whole trip was thrown off. Ubers couldn't pick us up at our hotel because we were too close to where Biden was staying and it threw me off.

To walk two blocks? We did that. I'm just saying I've been turned around and inside out. Biden fucked me. I didn't see Ferris. At the Fairmont? I didn't see Ferris' fair mound at the Fairmont. She.

What I ended up seeing was the Tonga Room in Hurricane Hut. I saw Haight-Ashbury a little bit, and I saw the outer sunset a lot of it. I ended up seeing a lot of it, the town, because I also went to the mission. I walked through the Silver Lake of SF, a.k.a. Knob Hill, and I had my knob worked on by a woman from Shrill. Aidy Bryant and I hooked up. Right. Right?

Or you guys are having a good time? Because I'm bringing a ton of joy. Right. Or you guys are having a good time. I've only been to San Francisco twice. I'd never been, really. I'd been for the Dead & Company show, and that's kind of it. And I'd driven through, but that doesn't count.

Amir, what are your questions? Follow-ups or what? Just lightning round style. Let's go. Why don't you fly Southwest for like 4% of the price as JetSuiteX? Well, I just said that JetSuiteX is the same price or sometimes less than commercial. So, yeah. Okay.

So, you actually saved money by flying JetSuiteX is the same price or sometimes less than commercial. So, yeah. Okay. So you actually saved money by flying JetSuiteX. Either the same or saved. And I definitely saved time, and time is money. So if you count that. Do you still hate San Francisco as a city? Because I remember that was your stance when the Warriors were constantly beating the cap leaders in the finals. What ended up happening was I got my knob worked on by a woman from Shrill on Knob Hill. And then I sort of changed my tune.

Because I became attuned to the energy of the city. Right? knob worked on by a woman from shrill on knob hill and then i sort of changed my tune because i became attuned to this the energy of the city right so like there's ai driving cars there's a dog robot delivering food that stepped on my toe and um i don't know i'm kind of falling in love with the uh the energy okay uh why did you go there monday through wednesday uh it was saturday through wednesday um so i don't know if it's that you're not listening or you're just not understanding me but basically it was there for a family commitment family commitment not really what's that five days i thought you said five ace yes i did five inches and i don't know if you're talking about 80 so you're there

for five days i was there for four nights, five days. Yeah. I had a much more interesting trip last week than you did. Where did you go? Henley-on-Thames? To London. Did you end up at Henley-on-Thames? I didn't end up at Henley-on-Thames.

So you avoided Friar Park at all costs? Yeah. Can I ask you a question about London? Shoot. Ten years ago or so, go to london and everything's super expensive because it's like it's already expensive plus the exchange rate it's like oh this 10 sandwich is actually it's 10 pounds so it's 15 now everything in new york and la is super expensive so is london even more expensive or it's like okay now all sandwiches cost 18 here and there comparable to cheaper oh even cheaper there yeah i guess i don't know i feel like alcohol definitely cheaper there which

is what like five to eight pounds per drink yeah like i got a half pint of cider at the theater and you know if you're getting like oh first i don't even know if they really have beers at a broadway theater but you know cocktails costing you twenty dollars yeah three pounds wow okay so america has because of the crazy price gouging that's going on it surpassed london at this point more than crazy though i don't even know if that's the right word to use one second i'm talking to rika and. And then what about hotels and stuff? Super expensive as well? I think it's kind of the same. I got a pretty good deal.

Mine was three nights for 450 pounds. Total? Total. Oh, that is pretty horrible. The exchange rate was like a.8. Did you end up staying at the hotel? I'm not going to reveal where I stayed. You're not there.

You got back, so I think you can tell them where you ended up sleeping on a sack. To the hotel. I think I must have nailed it, right? It was actually kind of a cool place. It was one of those places where you sort of sleep in a locker. Why didn't we record earlier today? Like, why p.m versus 11 in the morning what did you say wi-fi vpn what's vpn well i didn't say any of the things that you thought i said you said you said wi-fi internet got it p.m no vpn what's that and why does it come after internet connection why did you want

to do this at five in the afternoon didn't want to such a time crunch well marika gave me two choices right she held my feet to the fire and i went through the fire that was at 6 p.m my time and you said now or never and i said never or eight and you said eight yeah do you want to read the exact transcript because that's how it plays in my head, and I want to know what your reality is and how I can bend it to my will. Amir, you can decide how you feel about the themes. Still silent on the yotel. Still silent on the subject of the yotel.

So it wasn't the yotel. Okay, how hard was that? I didn't say where did you stay. I said it wasn't the yotel. And you said, no, I want to protect it because I want to stay there again. So that implies that you were staying at the yotel. I still don't understand why you did it at the last second. I sent Jeff. Like, you knew that this wasn't going to be able to happen but

5 12 p.m i sent jeff do you still need to record tonight gonna leave the office soon yeah well no because i had asked because jeff might have been not able to like even remember that he had to record i wonder if you know it's hard. That's in play, right? Yeah, for sure. Because last night he asked me if I wanted to record a one-on-one episode. And I said, the studio's pretty busy today. I'll have to see. I got back to him. He never responded.

So at 5 p.m., I took it upon myself to reach out. Because I am technically a producer of this show. And I figured I might as well have some sort of responsibility. Check in. End of the day, Jeff hasn't texted you back. Totally. So at 512, do you still need to record tonight? I'm going to leave the office soon. So just checking.

He said at 606. An hour after. An hour after. I do if you can, but no pressure. I have an idea if it doesn't work. I said I could either do. What was the idea if it didn't work? Well, I'm going to have to do an idea if it doesn't work i said i could what was the idea didn't work well i'm gonna have to do the idea if it doesn't work so i want to keep that in my back pocket i said i could either do like right now or in two hours and then he didn't respond

four minutes later i said let me know because i i either need to set up the studio or go home asap it takes me like an hour to go home. Seven minutes later I said bump and then he responded can we do 8pm ET sorry or not. I don't want an inconvenience and I said yeah I can do 8 and then he said I know I am inconveniencing but if you don't want to I can do a diff version. It's been

a week and I said no it's fine I'm free. I was just trying to determine if I needed to go home or stay at the office. And now it's fine. I'm free. I was just trying to determine if I needed to go home or stay at the office. And now it's at 8. And now we're here. And I didn't go home. I don't know if I'm being lambasted because you guys don't like what I've done in the past.

Or if it's actually about what happened this week. I went to London this weekend. I saw five shows in three days. Wow. By yourself? By myself. this weekend i saw five shows in three days wow by yourself by myself although two of my friends from new york happened to be there doing the same thing so i met up with them oh wow saw did you find yourself the shows sorry one second the shows that are okay so there's balloons i don't know jeffrey did that i think that was you from just gesturing oh like this i don't know if Jeffrey did that. I think that was you from just gesturing.

Oh, like this? I don't know. You did some hand motion. I created balloons by gesturing. What do you mean? I didn't see that at all. You didn't see balloons in my frame? There weren't balloons in your frame on my screen.

Marika? I don't even think it's going to come up on the recording. Marika, did you see balloons? I saw something. There were animated balloons in my frame yeah what was your question jeff's definitely in charge bond of the week are these new york broadway shows that eventually go to london or ones that haven't been to New York yet West End might end up at Pentagis

Just trying to figure out if you stayed at the hotel Didn't say the hotel They are For all the shows I saw They had not Been New York transfers To the West End And as of now there's no plans

For any of them to transfer to New York. Can I just ask though because you went about it in a certain way where you made sure to only see West End originating shows because I don't want the audience to think that there aren't New York transfers to the West End. There are ample of those but because you know what you're talking about. Right, but I'm not going to go see Mrs. Doubtfire. Exactly right. West End. You're going to go to the West End and you're going to see things you can't see in New York because you know i'm not gonna go what you're talking about exactly right you're gonna go to the west end and you're gonna see things you can't see in new york because you

actually live in new york so i just want people to think that i don't want people to think that they're gonna go to london and that they're only gonna see shit that are only there you have to do the research you have to write yeah london has a really really thriving theater scene they have a really good what we would kind of consider like off-Broadway theater. They have, and they're doing it really well. So they have like a bunch of theater companies, the National Theater, the old Vic Bridge Theater that put on a season of shows. And I went to see a bunch of those.

Are a lot of these theaters places that also have pints or maybe just ales? Yeah, they kind of all do, which is nice. I stole this cup from the Bridge Theater. I saw Guys and Dolls. Did you declare that at customs? I'm just starting to worry that you maybe broke the law. No, I have global entry. You have global entry?

When did you get global entry and why? I got it for like a year is that just so you can go to london easily no i got it when i went to france if anyone could get global entry is it like tsa pre-check what the hell yeah it's like that plus you don't you wait you go into a different line when you're going through customs and when i got back to the States, the line, the regular customs line, over an hour, people waiting outside of the stanchions, global entry, no one was in line. I got through in a minute.

I feel like I conflate it with, like, clear. I thought that you had to pay, like, $100 a year for this. You have to pay to apply for it. It's not, like, a yearly cost, and a lot of credit cards cover the cost of it, so your credit card might cover the cost. Okay. Highly recommend Global Entry,

and it comes with TSA PreCheck. I really don't want to interrupt the flow of conversation, but we are going to have to... Do a Bond of the Week. Bond of the Week for sure, but I want to talk about the hotel for a minute. Here we go. And this is, i'm assuming not part of the plan that you had uh for this episode we can't hear the video we can only sort of see a choppy version

of it okay i is that okay not really here Oh, here It's kind of an equally choppy audio version Yeah Yeah, so, I mean, I guess What's your confusion about the hotel? I was trying to figure out if Marika was basically doing this, right? Right She said she didn't stay at one Yeah, but that doesn't mean that you weren't

Kind of treating London like this I don't think I was treating London like this I kind of walked around at a Fast Normal walking pace Not dancing On the street I kind of want to point out

Sorry I just need to point out this video too It says one minute with Yotel London. The video is a minute 37 seconds. Well, skip to the end and see if there's like a 20 minute. No, they're still going. Nope. It goes till the very last second. What's your recent, do you have a reason for your recent fascination with Yotel?

I have no fascination. I just know that this hotel exists. I think at first it was only at London Heathrow Airport, and you basically slept in a locker. Seemingly obsessed with Yotel. I have a good Yotel. The Yotel Motel Holiday Inn. We have to take a break.

We have to take a break. But ready your... I'm going to put my squash in the oven. Okay. And ready your Bond of the Week because we are going to come back hot. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1,

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I'll have a glass of water. I'll have my AG1 and then I'll have my coffee and it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2

and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that again that's drinkag1.com slash what's that check it out um we're not gonna really have time because for her and i wonder i don't know if she's at the hotel or if she's just where she lives in probably just at her house yeah probably but I don't know if she did like a staycation or something at a hotel probably not probably not I know probably I know probably not by the way I just am wondering and I think I'm allowed to wonder because uh Mariko what we we've been adding to the kind of ethos of the show right because it's um it's be joy get wise Foster sorry embellish Faith and what was the last one

I remember Well let's say foster Wonder Because I was just saying To Amir that I wonder If um Grace is doing a staycation or not right now And if that's why she might not have a hand

In this week's episode. Or if it's maybe just that we're recording six hours before it has to come out. Yeah, I'm going to go with that one for sure. Probably. Here we go. Bond of the Week. I'm going to go with R.I.P. Michael Gambond. Michael Gambon.

Yeah. He was ahead of his time. He was of his time. He was someone who Amir probably doesn't remember, but that's okay because neither does Gambon. I don't know what he just did. Yeah. My final of the week is going to be Andrew Scott.

Fine. Amir? True Holiday. Nice. We have a lot to get to wax-wise, and then we have a segment. Kevin James. We have a lot to get to wax-wise,

which is us talking about anything. And then we have a lot to get to wax-wise, which is us talking about anything. And then we have a segment. Correct. So Kevin James has sort of come on to the internet all this week. Very specific meme-ology. He's kind of just like... And so I kind of wanted to know Who in your guys' life

Or who maybe at the company Had the energy of The Kevin James meme Exactly right I'm thinking Shackle I feel like Shackle's been getting married for like five years When is the ceremony? Has it already happened?

I don't understand Were you there? No Small wedding or happened i don't understand why what were you there no small wedding or we don't know you have you should have her on and talk to her about it she doesn't want to she did the show once and said never again that was three years ago yeah maybe you can do a bunch of people who have won and done it and then have them back on the shackle katie katie yeah katie said she would come back on if it was another all-girls episode. I'd love to do another one of those. It's just hard to pin people down, especially, you know,

like today I tried to get a bunch of people. All I could wrangle was you guys. Whether the episode is coming out tomorrow or, you know, next week, it still was a work day. Who else did you ask? Casey, Pyle. What'd they say? They said can't tomorrow. was yesterday yeah so you didn't ask me yesterday i didn't really want you to be on

this episode but you know marika was and i were going to do a one-on-one and then i worried that that was maybe too much to put on to marika because i'm also tired from the travel. Right. Yeah. Anyway. Let's kind of continue this going. I think it's Riley. It is Riley, actually. But she does it jokingly. Yeah. She kind of does that like. So that's like a bit.

I'm wondering who genuinely is that. Genuinely. And I'm wondering if it's maybe. I was going to say Shackle. You did say Shackle. I think it's Peter. I think it's Grimm. It's like earnestly Grimm.

Grimm is like a, you know what I mean? That's my impression of Grimm is like, yeah. Not really. Not really. I was going to go, yeah. Maybe it was Cervantes. Who? Oh, it's this guy I've been vetting to be an intern.

Not your job. Yeah, it kind of is. I mean, I need like an assistant assistant editor i'm sticking with my answer yeah yeah yeah you're um let's continue let's continue on yeah imagining yogurt at the yotel also i just not to circle back on something we talked about a while ago We'll get back to my question later The round trip from Burbank To SF Gotta be like $49

Yeah very affordable The JXL or whatever $369, $469 $279, $316 Burbank to Oakland $650 Yeah it's $279 through 16. Burbank to Oakland. I'm plugging it in right now. Yeah, it's 279 to 316. No, no, no, no.

I mean, I've done that trip. It was 269. That's exactly what I said. Okay, Burbank to SFO, right? Because I just did this. Google Flights? Are you on Google Flights? Because I'm looking at the same dates.

$78. Well, I didn't pay for the flights. Yeah, the truth comes out. And I wish we didn't have to hold your feet to the fire because now I'm starting to question every answer you've ever given me. Ask me anything and I'll be honest. No, you're not because I have to follow up

and if I find the truth, then you're going to be honest. Okay, ask me the same question twice. I guarantee it'll be the same answer. How old were you when you first hugged a woman? Probably like one, two. All right. Now I'm going to ask you again and it has to be the same answer. All right.

How old were you when you had your first hug? I don't know because there's a lot of things to question about that what is a hug what do you mean like me hugging someone or me being coddled you can't even a baby gets coddled yeah yeah but you know what it's interesting it keeps people sort of engaged and i feel like that's the whole point of like hosting you got to keep the audience engaged. That might even be my approach to romantic relationships in general is to just keep them engaged and just don't let them lose that. Engaged in, engaged by. To be wed, but never the actual wed.

The actual nuptials. Like a 14-year engagement situation. Yeah, but longer than that even. Because marriage, everybody's like, oh, but longer than that even. Because like if you, marriage everybody's like, oh, you know, being married so hard. Nobody says being engaged is hard. People say planning a wedding is hard. So let's get engaged, not plan the wedding,

never get married. It's honeymoon phase forever and you're sort of in bliss. I don't know. Domestic uh, yeah. Yo-tell-itude. Yo-tell-itude? It's like an attitude slash yeah. So attitude.

Yotel Motel Holiday Inn. That's funny. Yoliday Inn. Sorry. I'm trying to use... Oh, here we go. Up, go, bop, aside.

That was worth it. Worth the wait. We do have a segment. Do we want to get to it now or do you want to wait another 15 minutes? Probably now. Probably now. That's what I was going to say.

Now it's fine. Now it seems fine just because we're like 24 minutes into this shit. This segment might take 10. Why don't you guys talk amongst yourselves and then Marika, do you want to check in on that? What was it? Flauta?

Honey nut squash. Honey nut squash. Do you want to make sure it's not burning just while I get my laptop charger? I can smell it. It smells fine. It smells not burnt for sure, but I wonder if you want to check the glaze, see if it's maybe browning, if you want to turn it onto a broil from the bake so that we can get that nice caramelization on top.

Just so I can have the time to go across the room and get the fucking laptop. You could have already done it. I could have done it within this time period, but now we're talking about the flautas that you're, or sorry, the honey nut fucking Cheerios. Honey nut flautas. That's the type of squash.

Yeah, they're really cute. They're engineered. This is good. Keep this energy. They're new squash, they're relatively new squash so you bake it then what i was gonna make some sort of risotto i think jeez that seems like a whole other dish yeah i thought you were just gonna slice it in half and add like i don't know pomegranate seeds and chow down i don't have pomegranate seeds and chow down. I have pomegranate seeds.

I did slice it in half, but my thought was carve out the flesh, put it in a blender with some broth. Oh, my gosh. This is all for tonight's dinner? Yeah. That's a lot of work for a late-night meal. I agree, but I'm... Blend it, put it in a broth, and then what?

You're not even done at your dinner yet. Then you're making the risotto with that broth. I see, so then you put rice in there. Yeah, but you've got to constantly stir. We should use Arborio in a rice song. That's the risotto rice. I did. Actually, I think Brad did

the irony is Jeff left and we talked about rice while you were gone. So true. It's like segment. Yeah. Are you ready? He said, let's do it now. Yep.

I was saying, I said, you could wait. It's either now or 15 minutes from now. You're ready now. Or should we wait 15 minutes? Do it fast. It's kind of ironic.

Uh, welcome to pump the flakes. Uh, this is a interview segment, sort of a compilation of questions asked and answered, fact or fiction, beyond belief, beyond relief. Because by the end of this, you guys are going to be exhausted. Here we go. Pump the Frakes, question by question. It doesn't have anything to do with Jonathan Frakes.

It does. It exactly has to do with Jonathan Frakes and him hosting the song Beyond Belief. So this is Beyond Relief, Pump the Frakes edition. Here we go. Have you ever walked out of a mall into a huge parking area and realized you'd forgotten where you parked your car? Yes or no? I don't drive, so no. Okay.

Amir, expound on that. Expand. Sometimes I'm not paying attention to where I'm parking because I'm so consumed about getting to where i'm going that i'm like oh shit let me just find a spot and get out and then i in a huff like find a spot get in hustle over to the theater or the restaurant or whatever and then i'm like the dillards hustling bustling over to a dillard's to get your shitty chinos, your pleated shirts. California? I know how you, I know your game, Blumenfeld. I know where you got your wedding tux, and it was a fucking sax.

That's nice, saxophone. No, it was a bundle of sax that he piece-mailed together, chain mail. a bundle of sacks that he piece mailed together chain mail. Yeah, anyway, I've forgotten where I left my car after I parked it.

Ever go on mountain biking? No. No. Never? I barely know how to ride a bike. That's true. Marika? You said you didn't drive.

You also don't bike. What do you do? I bike, but I've never mountain biked. Well, what is Manhattan if not a mountain to climb? Because if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. Sure. What do you want to be when you grow up? What are these questions?

It's Pope the Freaks. It's from the show Beyond Belief. I see. This is Beyond Relief. Exactly right. So what are you going to be when you grow up? Retired. Marika?

Happy. What's the right tip? Interpret this as you will. Expound. Expand. Blunt. 20%. To stay at the hotel. Have you called a plumber to your home lately?

No. I actually have. Oh! Breaking news! Breaking news. What did you have to call a plumber for, Blue and Felt? Was it a massive log?

Guilty boots have got no rhythm. What an unrelated song. Yeah, my toilet wasn't flushing properly, so I had to get a new one. Okay. How superstitious are you? How much money would... How superstitious are you is what he said. It's hard because the audio levels are all different. How superstitious are you how much money how superstitious are you is what he said it's hard audio levels are all different how superstitious are you i like to think that i'm

not but i'm yeah i'm a little stish okay so what was what do you get superstitious about like the lakers yeah sports um like sometimes i'm like oh did i leave the door open did the dog escape i'm not gonna check outside i'm just gonna look inside and hopefully find him because if i look outside and see him it's really bad news or something like that yeah i kind of think i can tell the future sometimes so i guess relating to that how much money would it take to make you spend a night in a cemetery? What do you mean you think you can see the future? Not that I can see the future, but... Feel what's going to happen. Yeah, sometimes I have thoughts where I'm like,

I think about something and then like an hour later or something, it happens. Just trying to oh this like i think about something and then like just an hour later or something it happens just trying to keep it going yeah the episode in this segment so how much money what cemetery what are my accommodations just a cemetery definitely not like a nice one like it's not like hollywood forever stay awake are people there? Spend a night. So you can sleep. You can, like, do whatever you want in the cemetery. But how much money would it take for you to do that? I probably wouldn't sleep. Yeah, so just don't sleep.

Bring a book. How much? It's kind of a stupid question, but this is Pump the Brakes, Beyond Relief. So I'm trying to fucking pump the brakes, rather. Just name a fucking number. A hundred thousand, I said. A hundred thousand to stay. You could have 10 guaranteed Or I could have 100,000

Yeah but it's about the bare minimum You would take That's the bare minimum You wouldn't do it for 99,000 You wouldn't spend one night where you can sleep Or not you can do whatever you want You can do work Principles 99 99 grand.

100, take it or leave it. Amir? 40,000. I would do it for, well, the question is like how much money can you make otherwise? I would do it for like- Overnight? Probably not a lot.

Overnight's tough. I would do it for like $2,500. We could definitely raise that money we could get 50 people to give 50 bucks and then make you be in a cemetery for a full night easily yeah if anyone wants to Venmo me

but you have to prove it Venmo Marika wait so what's the number I don't want to have to organize this. Okay. Well, let's just not do it then. Yeah. Do you have a sweet tooth?

Do you have a sweet tooth? Yes. What a weird episode that was. Why did he ask that? Do you believe in the power of a curse, he said. Yes. No. Amir?

I have a sweet tooth, but I don't believe in the power of a curse. Have you had your hearing tested lately? If this episode counts as that, then sure. I haven't had my hearing tested, but I have had somebody look in my ear and find earwax, so I got an earwax removal kit. You're supposed to have a doctor do it because you can brush your eardrum.

Yeah, well, I don't know any ENT. I did the drops, and then I had the little, you know, the baster that you flush it out with. And I got the wax out, but afterwards, like within 30 seconds, I felt so dizzy that the room was spinning. Like I had fucked up with my... Your ear crystals. Yeah, or something like that. That I had to lay down, and I felt like sick to my stomach for like an hour. Might have been something

wrong. Yeah. Anyway, subsided, but I'm afraid to do the other ear now. Planning a trip soon. No follow-ups at all to the Marika thinking she could see the future, my ear-related story, or just powering through? Do you think?

Or do you think we should take a little rest stop and explore the answers for a second? And I mean to clarify, I can't see the future. It's not a crystal ball. I'm not going to be as obsessed with this idea. Not really. It's supposed to be rapid fire, but beyond relief, it's supposed to

be beyond relief, rapid fire, right? I don't even remember what he asked just now so i think that's pretty interesting uh can you remember the tallest man you've ever seen what did he say it's hard because you guys keep talking over the shit can you remember the tallest man you've ever seen no yeah actually a basketball game. Bowl Bowl or? Maybe Shaq. I don't know if I've ever seen Bowl Bowl.

I probably went to a game where Boban was there. I think he's 7'3". I feel like there's been a couple games that you've talked about where you're like, if Bowl Bowl was there, I would have left the arena. No, I never said that about Bowl Bowl. No, that must have been. It was either that or Marika stayed at the hotel. One time I, at a reggae festival that my dad

was catering when I was really little, there was a man on stilts and he scared me so much I started crying. So that's probably the tallest man I've ever seen. Do you love to go a-wandering beneath a clear blue sky? That's a classic. That's a classic quote.

I do like walking, yeah and i do like wandering underneath i don't like wandering yeah but well that's because you're lost not all who wander are lost but some who wander are lost and you're lost i don't mean like in the city i mean yeah no i'm not i'm not lost in life and i don't like wandering because it implies either slow speeds or no purpose and neither of those things appeal to me what is this i feel like you guys are treating this episode differently just because it's like after hours it's like you guys want to get out of here or some shit i think the energy is such a good answer the energy is high for me i feel like i've been driving this through you know there's a driving bass, there's a driving kick drum,

and then there's me on this episode hosting. To get us right before dinner is the nadir of our day. Have you noticed what big stars real estate agents have become? Yeah. Daria Greenbaum. Be careful with your personal records.

Do you guys keep personal records? Do you have a filing cabinet? Do you have it in cash? Sorry, not cash. Hard copies. Do you guys keep personal records? Do you have a filing cabinet? Do you have it in cash? Do you have it in, sorry, not cash, hard copies. Now you guys have me saying cash. But I just wondered. No. Amir? Do I have money in hard cash?

Do you keep personal records in a filing cabinet? I have, like, tax information, yeah. Okay. Can I say, I, tax information, yeah. Okay. Can I say, I don't want to dox this person, but the person who uploaded this video, which is Jonathan Frakes, asks you things. His name is Zane Golia. Kind of a name that would be used. Oh, that's, like, two.

That's not a username. Does your computer ever seem to have a mind of its own? Have you ever visited a Chinatown section in a major city? Have you ever visited a Chinatown section in a major city? Yes to the computer ever seem to have a mind of its own? Have you ever visited a Chinatown section in a major city? Yes to the computer. Yes to the Chinatown section in a major city. I was just in San Francisco's Chinatown nary three days ago,

and it might be the best Chinatown I've ever been to. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. I was in London recently. That was also nice. I did go to London. My trip was more interesting than yours. It's hard because there's not like Little America's

Other places, right? Maybe the airports Amir, speak on it Are there little other countries in other countries Or is that purely an American thing? Have you ever visited a flea market? Yes! We've obviously visited a flea market.

The flea markets in my hometown used to sell, like, chips. Have you noticed how many successful restaurants are theme-based these days? That's not true. Why... Well, this show is, like, from the 80s. Yeah, saying these days, not true. Why? Well, this show is like from the 80s. Yeah, saying these days, not true. Okay, then you guys don't think,

because all the HeadGum Happy Hour shows are theme-based, so I just don't understand why you're so against this idea of a theme. What's that? Restaurants? Restaurants have a theme? How successful themed restaurants are these days. Name a restaurant. Name a restaurant. We'll just rapid-fire keep naming restaurants, and I'll tell you what their themes are. How successful Themed restaurants are these days Name a restaurant

We'll just rapid fire keep naming restaurants And I'll tell you what their themes are Chick-fil-A Bigotry Continue In-N-Out, California Panda Express Sticky sauce

Really thick, viscous The theme is viscous, continue viscous. The theme is viscous. Continue. Yoshinoya. Yoshinoya. The theme is gray. Because the brown beef ends up sort of gray. Are there any Thai chains?

No. Continue. Let's keep doing this rapid fire thing because I think we can all figure it out. There should be fast casual Thai chains. I agree. What about fast casual Tai Chi? So it's like you can get in and get out through a drive-thru, but sort of get your peace and find your balance.

I feel like that's kind of against Tai Chi. Why don't we name a couple more restaurants? We'll go rapid fire and wrap this up. CPK. CPKK The theme is wood fire They use coal There's no way they have a wood fire Just fuck off Let's just continue on

Let's get one more question From Jonathan Frakes and we'll be out Have you ever had the desire to write your initials in wet cement? What is this show? Plugs. What do you guys have going on? What do you want to point the people to? And then yes or no.

Just end on yes or no for that. Plugs, yes or no. Plugs, yes or no. Keep it going. At Marie K. Alon on X slash Twitter, Instagram threads threads letterboxd tiktok blue sky uh listen to the pit wall uh go see review reviews live show at the new york comedy festival go see head come a happy hour at the new york comedy festival buy tickets to the Headgums Monster

Mash Massacre Livestream D&D Spooktacular. That's all I got. Amir? Definitely the D&D Spooktacular. Oh, also, yes. Jake said

you guys have a new podcast idea, but I haven't seen any movement there. Yeah, I'd like to sometimes write my initials in wet cement. Shee! Shee! that was a Hidgum original