The Headgum Podcast - 175: The Prenuptial Episode (w/ Avital Ash!)

Episode Date: October 20, 2023

With Amir and Avital's wedding on the horizon, the newlyweds (and Casey, for some reason) join Geoff in the studio to talk about worst case scenarios for their marriage, divvying up finances in case of divorce, and the wedding planning blues!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Every time I'm in the office, everyone else is a pallbearer. Yeah. Because they have to bear the weight of me. The dead weight of you. How is New York? Holy shit.

Let's hear it. That question cut through me. New York was great. I was staying near Fire Island with my family, which I think is very funny. It is really funny. But we went to the beach

and it was fun. We went to the beach a couple times long walks 10 000 steps celebrating my mother's uh birthday and uh i mean what an incredible woman are you staying over there? Yeah. Yeah, he does that sometimes. Wild. Wild. Yeah. Crazy. Why is this a good idea?

Why does it sound like an evil wedding march? What's that? Why does it sound like an evil wedding march? It's a Halloween wedding. Is my microphone on? Yeah, let's just... Yeah, you can hear. Is my microphone on? Is my microphone on?

Look at them. Inside. Yeah, let's just... Is my microphone on? Is my microphone on? Look at them. Inside. Usually there's silence during the processional, right? During the wedding march. I don't really know. Is there? Where did you find this?

What's that? Where did you find this? This is on YouTube. It says a wedding march, sort of. Turn it down if you can't hear us. Turn it down if you can't hear us. That's great. Much better, right?

How long did you want that to last? I didn't want it to last any amount of time. There's 30 seconds left in the song, if that's what you're asking. There's feedback for sure. What is that? A buzz. Yeah, kind of a buzz. We should use this for when you walk down the aisle the buzz There you go Wow, I

Mean what a special week am I right? Yeah, you guys will always remember this especially Casey. Yeah for sure specialist week of your life. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, how are we feeling? I mean, this is the, we should say that this is the prenuptial HeadGum podcast episode because the last of us to get married, Amir and Avital. The last of us to get married. Are you guys married? Well, I don't think we plan on it. Yeah.

You don't have anything planned? I haven't even met anybody. Ever. I've never met anyone. So, obviously, you guys are the only ones. Oh, my God. Nice to meet you. A thruffle.

Whoa, should we? I'm kind of emotional. Thank you. At the thought of, like, you guys not being bachelors anymore, right? How does that feel? Did you guys? Sorry, just let me finish. It feels bad.

We weren't bachelors. We were in a relationship. What? It's not like we were single up until this day. Yeah, exactly right. Actually, you still are until Saturday. Exactly. That's what a bachelor party is for.

We had a very closed relationship. One way closed. One way. Whether or not the relationship is closed, two sets of legs aren't. Am I right? Meaning? Meaning sexual experimentation,

enjoying each other's bodies, transcending through somatic healing. Does that make sense? Somatic? What's that? Transcending through somatic healing. What's wrong with you? God, you don't listen.

Let me see that rock, girl. It's just the engagement ring. It's just the engagement ring? That's the most important ring. It's been there for months and months. I didn't notice. It's not like an exciting new thing. When did you? Well, let's fucking, Casey.

Yeah. You okay? Mm-hmm. You're smiling in a way that I've never seen you smile before. I just love love. Casey's crying. It's a very Halloween thing. It's a very hollow ring.

Whoa. So fast. What is that, 12 carats? It's not a diamond. Yeah, it's a moonstone. Is that your birthstone? No. Not even.

Fuck. I don't know anything about how these things go. We just thought it was pretty. Sorry? You always feel like we're cutting you off. That's just how a normal conversation is with you. With you. Don't repeat.

Just listen. I had, Casey will appreciate this. First of all, Casey, we should say that you just sold a script, right? Congratulations.

Wow. Well, okay, let's not. To Jeffrey or? I went to film school. I sold it to Jeff. Wow.

Four dollars. I over, over spent. The script is barely formatted let alone good it was an email you said you said I always act like you guys are cutting me off

what was that you don't have to yell what's that every time someone talks is all what's the script I don't want to get into it right now that's sort of the logline of the show. In a way, we're getting married, but you've given birth, and that's bigger. That's a bigger deal because you brought new life into this world.

Not only just one life, but how many characters? Yeah, lots of lives. There's two main characters, two supporting characters. Four lives. Four lives. You got three kind of actors in here. I don't know what you do. You've got two actors and then a mirror He's actually a very good actor

He just doesn't like to do it He doesn't like it That's so much cooler to have the talent But not walk in That's your chest and your ankles Well this is maybe too earnest But you should feel special because he acts in things That you write and he will not do it for a lot of people.

I do act in things? Oh, like head gum sketches? Yeah. I mean, granted, it's for head gum. You sort of force. A very narrow wheelhouse that only Jeffrey can write for. I'm right next to you. Yeah, but you make me feel vulnerable and the acting is kind of hard for me.

Jeff just yells like different snack ideas. Oh, that's good. David? Exactly. Sorry, just one second. Got to get the claps in. Makes me feel vulnerable. It's beautiful.

Proposal story or how did it happen? Doesn't quite matter right now. We're looking for a George Floyd. No, it does. This is the time that you kind of tell about like, did he surprise you on a scavenger hunt? Did he draw a bath slash butter i do draw a lot of vats for her so well you were you were saying that he draws a

lot of hard lines in the sand out of nowhere when did i say that i think it was at a live show last like what would be an example of a hard line that i would describe him drawing so it would be like let's figure out you know how we're going to divvy up chores and then he's like i will not do the kitchen you're like okay like fine i guess i'll do the kitchen and you can do the bathrooms that seems worse and then he's like over the moon yeah to do the bathroom that's a hard line that he draws another one is uh no cheating on me it's like yeah so yeah that's you got to be more flexible not really really no cheating on me. It's like so dumb. You got to be more flexible. Not really. Really?

No cheating on me. That's what I'm saying. Like I'm training a dog. No. Hey, hey, hey. You brought a spritz bottle into the office. I'm wondering if that's also fine.

That's more kinky. I was going to say it's kinky. You guys were the Erewhon couple in Silver Lake in COVID. What's that? What is that? Casey knows what I'm talking about. I have no idea what you're talking about.

I'm an island. I'm an island man today. It went viral on Twitter. Sorry, X. Oh, the woman that was walking the dog into Erewhon. Well, that went viral on Twitter, not X. Yeah. Right.

That was two years ago. That's true. Did you see that? A guy was in a full leather dog costume and a dominatrix was like walking him into Erewhon. Wow. You're applauding that baby. Why do you assume she was a dominatrix?

Because of what she was wearing and doing? Yeah. You can't put people into boxes like that. Yeah. It's 2023. It could have been just an orthodontist walking a human dog. It didn't have to be a dominatrix, I guess. And how do you know it was a dog and not a donkey or a horse?

It was a man barking like an animal. Okay. Well, not all animals are the same. Men can have rabies. That's right. I guess if they get bitten by a dog. Or a bat. A horse.

A rabid horse. Exactly right. Our want to walk around. We're getting too far away from the field. You're right. How did you propose? I proposed in Santa Monica on a beach.

Will Rogers or, sorry, the key to storytelling is specificity. Universality through specificity. The reason we're leaving out details is because I don't want you and everyone in mind to know. But it's already in the past. You know, like, you've been getting mad. I'm sorry. I would

never do this to you, Avital. But I've been bleeping it for that reason. But I've been like doxing the wedding details on the show for months. And you keep getting really angry. You're like, you have to cut that out. You're saying you can't release that detail. I don't know if it's because of like the gun epidemic in this country or what. Or if it's just strangers showing up.

But it's all been cut out because it's in the future. Right. But this episode doesn't come out until after the wedding. So we can say. Is that true? October 15th. What episode comes out Friday?

Oh, you know what? It's this one. But this all being said, this was in the past, which means it has, it's already been sealed in wax. Right. But this episode comes out before the wedding. We'll get to that. I'm just saying proposal. We're focused on the matter at hand.

Maybe this is the episode we do a ticker. You were saying like, you know, like the first take ticker. Yeah, PTI style. What's talking about now? What's coming up? Exactly. And what was just spoken of so that we can know, people can know if they want to rewind. That's just in the case of someone opening the YouTube video and clicking it at random slash ad nauseum

which is how you watch YouTube videos usually usually and I'd love to talk to you guys about like a three year old on an iPad you're just sort of clicking and describing photosynthesis is when plants are I'm so sorry for wasting 45 minutes I do have a wedding to plan starting a job on Monday that I have to prep for tasting 45 minutes. I do have a wedding to plan.

Starting a job on Monday that I have to prep for. This is sort of not a great use of my time. No, my point is that the proposal's already happened. Nobody can do anything to sour it. It's already sealed in wax. He's already soured it, so we don't want to tell him. So let's hear it. That's why you don't want to tell the story.

It's been a soured story. But yeah, the story is that we went to, we were on the west side. We went to a beach. Proposal happened. Went to see my parents. Then ate a very nice sushi dinner in the valley. Sushi note?

No. Sushi bar. Oh, that's good. It was really good. Yeah. Do you like sushi or is that what Amir likes? Actually. She hates.

He went with Ben Schwartz before and I got so insanely jealous i kept being like i love sushi we don't go to this fancy sushi place and i wouldn't stop talking about it and then before the proposal he finally made a reservation i was like how did you know redemption arc so then it was a callback if you will how did you feel on the day did you have reservations or had you guys

already spoke at the sushi place sorry just one second I'm talking about Abitola 9.30pm basically pretty hard to get

you have to do it a month in advance but so is Abitola omakase of course trust me with the sushi do you omakase Amir

do you trust the chef with the rest of your life? No. That's true. That's the thing. It's like you're only her first husband. Does that make sense? This is the practice one. Exactly right.

My starter husband. Yeah. You know when you're in high school and you have a crush on that certain someone and then you're like, shit, I don't want to be a virgin. I'm not really in high school anymore. I feel like my mind is made.

This isn't like a passing fancy. Avital's not my first wife. I was gonna say it's like follies. Have you been married before? Wait, sorry? To who? It's not funny. It's like, who are you married to? Yeah, I can't believe you kept us all in the dark. This is really fucked up. I just mean that there won't be a second.

That's not what that means. That sounds like a threat. No way. It's not a threat. I would never. Casey, can you kind of just back up and like analyze how you viewed that

as a threat? Like what about his body language? I think just the sentence there will not be a second feels threatening. That's another hard line. You gotta like

Crazy hard lines. It's insane. I'm saying if I die sometime during our marriage And we do hope. Avital's not allowed to remarry and that's written into the prenuptial.

Will you haunt us if I do? I mean, play the song again. What is this? I know this. What is it? You're a music fan. I am. What was it?

Like Neil Young or something? I couldn't tell. Was it? Close enough. What was it? It was George music fan. I am. What was it? Like Neil Young or something? I couldn't tell. Was it? Close enough. What was it? It was George Harrison. Oh, of course. You said play that song again.

You didn't say which one. I wanted to play the macabre. He did say which one. He sort of sang it. Style wedding. He went. Which sounded like dueling banjos a little bit. I actually wanted a macabre wedding.

Ready or not style horror. Is that true? Yeah, I think my dream scenario would be more like ready or not. It would be really fun. You chase me through the woods with weapons. But I did get a little cake topper that's like too, yeah, very spooky. I mean, it's also October. Yeah.

Is that going to be on the wedding cake? Yeah. Nice. It's like two, yeah, I don't have a picture of it or the wedding cake or yeah nice it's like two yeah I don't have a picture of it or I would show you but it's two corpses so you proposed on a beach there's some details but I think it is I don't know vulnerable for other people yeah it's like right we'll all right we'll move on offline if it's other people we'll move on if it's Avital or other people will move on I guess one thing that i can say that's funny about it is that we had i've been having like crazy jaw issues psa don't get a night guard if you don't

need one uh it ruined my life but we were seeing like a tmj expert and it was really stressful and trying to figure out what's going on and i had said um maybe we can go to the beach after to kind of make it a nicer thing and it was like yes which already was kind of weird that you were so ready to perfect I love the beach yeah we've never been at the beach we don't go to the beach and then he had already dropped Luke off with his cousin so that we would have the day and I didn't right like I was like oh that's weird but I didn't think anything about that and then we go to the beach I guess the funny detail without getting too into it is a family member had had surgery and is talking about um rectal bleeding and anal prolapse and all this stuff. And Amir's like, get off the phone.

And I'm trying and this is what's happening. The sun is like gradually setting. And then finally I get off the phone. There's like this much sun left. And he's like, today's been such a good day. And I'm like, no, it hasn't. And then I'm like, oh, as soon as that happens. And he's like, I want every day to be this good. I'm like no it hasn't and then i'm like oh as soon as that happens and he's like i want every day to be this good i'm like okay and then i can then i like check and see that his hand

is reaching for a gun yes and then he threatened me you better i'm drawing a hard line in the sand murder or engaging um in the that's very sweet though though. Wait, but it was after an orthodontist appointment? It was after a TMJ specialist appointment. Got it. We're past orthodontist at this point. Yeah. We were next level. I've got a question, if I may.

Yes. If I could get into it. Sorry, it's yours to say yes. I can't decide. Sure, yeah. No, you know what? It's your week. It's your day.

Don't let anyone else hear it. Yeah, Avatam, may I ask a question? What's more for Amir? Did you write that line? Today was so great. I wish every day would be great. He didn't say great. He said good. You don't know what I said. You really don't know what I said.

That's true. That being said, I did say good. No, I don't even remember saying that specifically, but I didn't pre-write it, no. You just sort of winged it. Yeah, you spoke from the heart. And the heart said today was a good day. Well, there were highlights

before that moment. Were there? Yeah, but those were in your hair, so it was just weird. I was having a good hair day. Whatever. What were the highlights were in your hair. So it was just weird. I was having a good hair day. What was the highlight? In my hair. Do you remember any or you're just trying to excuse your.

Oh, no, I remember some, but we'll talk off. Okay. Okay, great. That'll be good for me. That'll be on the Patreon. Wedding planning podcast. Let's talk about it. I know how stressful that can be.

Yeah. You do? How many times have you been married? I haven't yet. Okay. I just hear tell of the process being a nightmare. We think it's easy. It's so far so good.

No, it's stressful. It seems like, wait, really? No, it's stressful. I guess my first question is, Don't fuck your life up. You obviously can't say that. Can you just bleep the date? I'll bleep all of this, but this is coming out on Friday.

We don't have a security. This is why, yeah. What? No, there's no way because of liability insurance, right? And this is what I'm also worried about what happened last night. We'll talk after this, but general liability. We have that, but not security. We could still get murdered.

All of that is gone. Yeah, we can cut that. Yeah, cutting it just like. I can't remember where we're going to start cutting. We chose the Met Gala because we think it's incredibly beautiful. Is it because we love natural wine at the wedding? Because you guys went to a different wedding at that same venue. Was that the deciding factor? Yeah, it was really beautiful.

We loved it then. Well, there's a certain magic to it. Have you been there? Oh, say where it is! Have you been to this place? I have driven past. I haven't been inside. I'm unbelievably excited

to just be at the venue. And I'm also excited to meet Avital's family, to see all my friends that are at the wedding. We've sat you with my brothers. Is that good? Really? Oof. I might look bad upon b he might speak ill of me oh no is that true no you're

sequestered with head gum people that's what i thought yeah that's what jake did and it was it was me and nick rad and we were like floundering we didn't know what to talk about yeah what did you land on ultimately like art sales well you're both in art sales. We didn't know what to talk about. Yeah, what did you land on? Ultimately, like art sales. Well, you're both in Cleveland. That's nice. Art sales? And we didn't even put that together until before and then after the wedding. Right, so we didn't talk during.

Whereas like talking points that you can have when you're a seatmate. It wasn't in the cards. Nice. Very good. No. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't.

We know. So it's just that you had been to that place before? Yeah, we, I remember thinking like for some reason that it would not be feasible. Yeah. And it is really hard at this place. It's hard to get it. They don't help you with anything. So this is like, even the people that got married there were kind of like, don't do it.

It's a borderline Airbnb situation. Yeah. It's more used like, yeah, they don't, they just don't give you anything. That's kind of crazy. But it is so pretty. You Airbnb situation. Yeah. It's more used like, yeah, they just don't give you anything. That's kind of crazy. But it is so pretty. You'll see. Yeah. So you've been?

You got to do like a site visit? Yeah. And really from the wedding, having seen like how they pulled it off. We're like, okay, we can do it. Yeah. And by we, I mean my mom who's doing most of the work. And then let's talk about the wedding schedule because a lot of people do. Again, this is all coming out before the day.

Okay, so this is coming out Friday, October 13th. So if you're listening to this episode, there's still time. Yeah, that's what I dislike. Make it tonight, right? Be listening to this at Atlanta Airport. There's a lot of things I don't want out there. The date, the location, the style of venue. There's like a welcome drink.

There's like a welcome dinner. It's all persona non-happening. Of course not. Who's going to be there? Is it all just the hip young friends or is it the fans too? Of course not usable. Of course not usable. Then maybe we just release this next Friday.

Sure. But then I still don't want every single point of detail out there. 42R. Are you ashamed of me? Amir. You can stay. We'll bleep all of that. Of course.

But how did you decide on the schedule? Like, let's do it all in one. Let's get it like a one-take situation. Let's do it all in one. Sorry, as opposed to two weddings? Sometimes I feel like there's like the legal thing which only like friends and family show up to and then there's like a reception and that's like i have my family's all orthodox or my parents and my best friend still is

excited he gets about learning shit about you that he can use later just like a little oh and they're flying in. Where are they coming from? And what are their names? Like little fucking things you can file away. Not really. Yes, really. That was like more jerky.

Speaking of more jerky, can you get us more jerky? Why haven't you fucking chimed in in a minute? Because you're asking about details of their wedding. And you don't have it memorized? I don't know. How are you going to shoot it if you don't know the backstory? You have to create a story.

I figured we'd have a meeting about it. It's two days in it. What do you mean meeting about it? It's now. This is the pre-meeting. What's that? This is the pre-meeting. Yeah.

Nice. Thank you. Are you talking about that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode? Nope. Nice. Are you talking about that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode? Nope. Um.

Um. Yeah. Um. What are you talking about now? We do have to take a break. We're going to have to take a break. Why? Just for ads. Oh.

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I was trying to act like a supportive wife. Honestly, it's kind of patinated in an interesting way. I feel like when, yeah, you see how that black has faded to gray? That's like what people want out of shirts. Yeah, thank you. Well, it is from 2017. Sorry, let me finish.

You might want to crop it. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Or just at least do a tie. Yeah, that's cool Well, it is from 2017. Sorry, let me finish. You might want to crop it. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Or just at least do a tie. Yeah, that's cool. Tie it up. I'm dressed for a walk because I'm trying to.

And the occasion. And for the occasion. And the job you want. I did sleep in it and then I thought, oh, this would be kind of nice to wear on the podcast. Exactly right. I'm wearing my worst underwear today. We would never have known. I know.

Okay. What makes it the worst? It's loose. It have known. I know. Okay. What makes it the worst? It's loose. It's thin. It's threadbare. It's like me undies from five years ago. And you're also in like a very wrinkled suit.

Well, you know what? This, by the way, is this California cocktail enough for you guys? I don't know what that means. And so I brought it to see if this works. And then I'm going

to get it pressed. Yeah, you can pretty much wear any cool article of clothing. Yeah, it's cool with the little cropped pants, too. Those aren't cropped pants. He just has very thin legs. I don't know if we'll be able to. Yeah. Crop.

You sort of started that. Did you do the Jake's wedding? When Did you do it at Jake's wedding? When did you do it? The short suit I wore to... Did I do it to Jake's? No, I wore it to some wedding. You did wear it to some wedding. And people were complimenting like wow, that's smart because it's really hot out.

It was LeBron and then you. Yes, that's right. Those were the two most influential fashion. I think it was Pee Wee Herman first and then LeBron. Me, LeBron and then me. I forget what wedding I wore. You were the two most influential fashion. I think it was Pee Wee Herman first. Oh, that's fair. And then LeBron. Me, LeBron, and then me. Yeah. I forget what wedding I went to. You were the third. I like your glasses. Thank you. You're welcome.

So it's, but let's just move on. Maybe. We have to move on. Casey? That's Pit Wall. It's a Pit Wall reference. Got it. I don't know what Pit Wall is.

Pit Wall. It's a Formula One podcast that we do here on the HeadGum Network. I know that because I've listened to every HeadGum podcast. Same as I. Yeah. Actually, I'll be tall starting a Petwall spinoff podcast. Petwall's good. I like Petwall.

I like that it sounds like Pet Sounds. Yeah. Petwall is a beach podcast. The podcast also sounds like Pet Sounds. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Then I would listen. We need more Brian Wilson. Yeah. The podcast also sounds like Pet Sounds. Oh, that's great. Then I would listen. We need more Brian Wilson.

If I should never leave you, my life will still go on. I will not Sorry, I've just been sitting here trying to figure this out without asking because I feel like it's a little rude. But I can't figure it out, so I'm just going to ask.

This is the first time you've reflected before asking a rude thing in five years, so I can't imagine how fucked up this question is going to be. What's the why now of your nuptials? You know, in Hollywood, they're like, why this? Why now? Why are you the one to write this project? So why are you guys the one to write this story and why now do you remember the gun detail from the proposal

so it's just that you feel threatened it had to be now it had to be now it had to be now that's good this is like a Hollywood exec meeting. Why you? Why now?

Yeah. Worst sound. Who are you most dreading seeing at the wedding? And don't say Casey because he's here. Who are you most dreading at the wedding? Nice. Good rhyme. Well, we obviously aren't going to answer that.

No, not honestly. But do you have one person? I'll bleep it out. Yeah. Yeah. I guess we're both thinking of the same person. You think so? Why did you invite them then?

It was an accident. I would have thought it was like maybe a family member. You're like, okay, we had to invite them. But you just accidentally invited them. Is it a friend or a family member? I think I know who it is. Do you? So it's not Goni?

An Israeli man I met 12 years ago. I thought it was your cousin. No, Goni's not my cousin. Got it. He's racist, actually. Sorry about that. Listen, we gotta figure some shit out. I don't know where this sound is going

Wait, sorry, what was the rude one? Was it who are you? What's the why now? That was too rude We are, for sure Well, on that note, let's feckin figure feckin Casey's infecting me

He's Irish Beautiful God forbid, right? I mean, obviously you guys are going into this He's Irish. Beautiful. God forbid, right? I mean, obviously, you guys are going into this, you know, considering the what ifs. And I just thought that we should really get all our ducks in a row, you know, decide on what would happen in the event of separation down the line so that you can enjoy the wedding, so that you can enjoy the time to be together afterwards to have. Does that make sense? So I thought that we could craft a prenuptial agreement here. And then I have my attorney's office.

And she's a real attorney and she's going to have the whole thing notarized, ratified, signed, printed, inked by the next episode. Wow. It's beautiful. We didn't end up doing any prenuptial stuff. So this is perfect. This is tough because there's a lot of, you know, first of all, it's like, I don't know how much it's worth we didn't end up doing any prenuptial stuff so this is perfect this is tough because there's a lot of you know first of all it's like i don't know how much it's worth in the future but for now head gum has some value and then for you it's like you were basically the

star of fringe right so like we're gonna you have i would say i mean i this is gonna sound rude too i feel like avital has more upside i did also get a job, and now I'm worried he's using me for my money. I know. You just got staffed, right? Yeah, he keeps telling me that I'm the breadwinner now. We have to fucking figure this out. All right, so let's start this. How about if in case of separation, just for the avoidance of doubt.

Let's not say in case. Let's say when separation. When we separate. So just to be safe. So we know you're not using me for my money. I keep all my money and I keep all of your money. I love this.

Isn't that good? I really love this. We'll get more into it because I have line items here. That's good. So these are contract points set forth by ContractsCarousel.com, which I think is the

sort of like unabashed leader in prenuptial agreement discussions um and i just want to make sure that you guys know what you're getting into here i mean marriage is a big deal i know that you guys own a home but uh this is harder than that right because you can't get into an argument with a house right that's right what would that look like i probably could get into you hear me yelling at my phone. I could probably get mad at the house similarly. I don't feel considered.

Going at a door jam. I'm not above it. No, but I'm serious. I mean, like, there's, I feel like your career has more heat around it. Oh, okay. Amir, you're sort of on ice. So I just think that it's much more realistic that Avital is going to come into a large sum of money over the next decade than it is Amir. And don't say, oh, I own 30% of HeadGum and there's like investors.

It's my 30% now. I don't own 30%. Well, then let's sign the prenup. What percentage do you own? Again, all very, very private information. Oh, he gave. So I'm not going to comment. Financial disclosures.

Yeah. So, according to Carousel... Contracts Carousel. Sorry, now you got me saying it, Casey. One of the most... He hasn't said anything in 35 minutes. And I appreciate you being here. I called Casey last...

I texted him, really. Yeah. Do you want to tell the story? Sure. It's a great story. Jeff said, can anybody do the HeadGum podcast tomorrow morning? Specifically, are you going to be in the office tomorrow?

And I said, no, but I can be. And he's like, great. See you tomorrow. Sorry, we're running out of time. Yeah, and now I'm here and he's only asking you guys about your wedding. And I'm like, okay, great. One of the most significant provisions. I hope. It's somehow a waste of all of our time in a prenuptial agreement is the need for both parties to declare

their financial assets and liabilities completely right so it compromises bank accounts investments real estate debts and other financial obligations uh and without this provision the agreement may be invalid if it's later found that one party was dishonest about their economic situation. Is this a good time to tell you that Amir has a real gambling problem and is severely in debt? We are going to get to that. We actually are going to get to that.

Not in debt. Avital, you can send this in an email. Amir, let's hear it. What? Oh, financial disclosures entirely. Avital can send it in an email, but Amir, let's hear it. Well, we don't have time for both of you guys to disclose your finances, so Avital will handle later.

Amir, let's hear your financial information verbatim, line by line. Soup to nuts. Start with a checking account. Bank account, yeah. Where are you at, Chase? J.P. Morgan or B.A.V.? B.A.V. probably, because the closest branch is ******.

You know, you've said that before. Do you want to give our address out? I think that would help. We've done it before. I don't know if I are cheating. I don't know anything. I'm telling you, he's a fucking squirrel. I was texting him here.

I said, hey, what if I rent your garage unit, your duplex unit? He said there is none. And then you memorized the address. No, he memorized it way before that. He didn't even look at notes or anything. No, he has it off the top of his head. Anytime someone gets hired at HeadGum, Jeff's first thing is to figure out what their address is and memorize. You know Casey's address?

I think it's, I don't know verbatim, but it's on Ingridale. Ingridale? I know that that's close. That's not a real street. That's the one thing you bleep. Investments. What do you got? Yeah, I'm invested in like stocks and mutual funds.

Doge. Yeah. And now the only thing you're invested in is this marriage and nothing else. Yes, thank you. We did already handle real estate. You don't have any vacation rentals. You don't have any timeshares. Yeah, no.

No timeshares. Condos. Skylar Gisando's. That's a timeshare with Skylar Gisando. Marika's going to love that. I know the name, actually, but I couldn't tell you why. You don't have it. Is that a Broadway person?

Is that why you said Marika would? I think he might have done Broadway, but he was in, like, We're the Millers or something. Okay. You guys don't have... Oh! You know him. That's awesome. There you go.

That's the only reason I was like, I just caught up on this person. That's crazy. That is actually pretty nuts. Can't say. I don't think I can say. As her lawyer. No. It's not. That's the only reason I was like, I just got up on this person. That is actually pretty nuts. Can't say. I don't think I can say. As her lawyer, no. It's not, yeah. That's funny.

So you guys don't have like a... In case I'm not supposed to say it? Yeah, I'll cut that out. Okay, thank you. Because I also avoided an NDA just then. Did you? This episode's so far 91 seconds long. How did you do that?

Because you said another... Are they bringing the... You. How did you do that? Because he said another show. Are they bringing the **** back? He said what? He said what? Just another show. He's not supposed to do that. You guys don't have like a fucking beach house or a beach condo? You know, the Paradise Cove, you can get one for like $125,000.

I know you can afford that. And don't say you don't know anything. I know you can afford that. All of our money is don't know anything. I know you can afford that. All of our money is in the wedding. Student debt. Which is so dumb. Student debt. Why are you worried right now?

You're concerned. I'm trying to figure shit out. Because I don't want you guys to end up split at all. And then if you do it, I want the finances to just go to a mirror. Why does it matter for you? Because, dude. I'm going to have to see both of them afterwards. And I don't want to have to pick up the pieces emotionally.

You think Avital will go to you? In the case of a separation? Also, you were pushing for the separation. You said not if, but when it forget it let's move on to division of property another common term in a prenuptial agreement is how the couple's assets will be divided in the event of a divorce in some circumstances the prenup may define that a certain asset will stay separate property and not be subject to a division and divorce. Yeah, the timeshare. So the eventual timeshare.

Yeah, we don't have a timeshare. But the eventual one, because I know you can afford it. If we get a timeshare, then I'll be talking about it. That's a huge win for you. Moving on to debt obligations. Prenups can address debt obligations, including those

responsible for any debt incurred during the marriage. Credit card debt, mortgage payments, and other financial obligations may be included. Without a provision in the prenup, the couple may have to rely on state laws to determine who is responsible for paying off the debt. Here's going to be kind of a problem if one of you guys has a ton of debt and the other one doesn't. California, common law marriage, right? Common law state. So that's going to be 50-50 unless you have

this agreement in before Sunday, right? So that's the urgency. Yeah, we don't have debt. I didn't go to school. I'm uneducated, so I have no student debt. I went to public university in 2005, so it was like $4,000 a year. Very affordable. Some people went to UCB, as in Upright Citizens. You went to UCB

in Berkeley, so that's kind of a mic drop. right um any skeletons in your guys's closet or literal or financial or um maybe you know any uh so but you said no student debt you said no you have a mortgage that's a kind of considerable debt you're only eight years into that, so that's 22 years of debt. And don't say that the monthly payments go down marginally every month that you pay off the principal.

I really don't think so. Because I think you might have done interest only for the first seven to ten years, right? You think that? Any Amex cards? You think you know about the initial agreement to the mortgage if i'm wrong did you do a 15 year i don't think so did you do five year arm i doubt it for someone who rents you know too much about owning property i'm trying to figure the shit out are you with

i don't know forget this it's not so support aka, a.k.a. alimony. What are we thinking? I keep Luke and then you pay to keep him in that high life forever. He's a tiny prince, a small dictator of sorts, and he's a very expensive king that we have to sort of prop up. He dines on ribeye only. American Wagyu or Japanese A5? Japanese, yeah. Marble. The marbling is unbelievable. And he doesn't let us even smell it.

Got it. Inheritance rights. Prenuptial agreements can also address inheritance rights. Inheritance rights. A sing-songy voice about what? Our parents passing away? Casey, can you hit the woe? No, that's the dad, right?

Can you fire his ass? No. Got it. It's a my contract. He can't fire me. Yeah. You said that like my pillow. Well, yeah.

We went on mycontract.com. Or whatever this one is. I'll copy you. That looks good. Prenupcial agreements can also address inheritance rights, including how the couple's assets will be distributed upon one spouse's death, not parents. Okay.

So, you know. So you mean if I die, I get everything? If I die. If I die and if I die. So you basically run so fast into the Wall Street bull that you're gone. Based just on physical appearance, I feel like this one is only relevant to how Avital's life will be post-Blumenfeld,

but what's the plan here, guys? For what? I said based just on physical appearance, you're the only one who will have to deal with a death. Oh, I see. Because he's kind of knocking on death's door. What's the plan? It's nice that he's

alive, but I guess if he dies, it's good that I'll have everything. I get that. Are you splitting it? Is it all going to her or is some of it going to me? It would never go to you. I feel like, but in a way, you know, when you walk behind somebody. I was being Josh, but then I felt a little bad.

This is the difference between you, you sociopath, you'll joke about anything, and Avital, who has a kind heart, she feels bad even if she... Oh, no, I'm just worried about the people on YouTube thinking I'm a monster. She's worried about the ad revenue. This getting flagged as threatening content. The court of public opinion, for sure. Yes. I'll be hanged and quartered for that.

Last one's business interests. Avital, do you own a business? No. Okay. So, we don't have anything to worry about, to worry about because it's just head gum, you know, and that's going to be belly up in the next five years, right? Probably by New Year's. But one day I will start a business and it will be a competing podcast network and it will put head gum under, so I'll get there. Thank you.

Let's hear that. I'll call it butt gum. I'll call it butt gum. Welcome to the Jeff Lee Wed Game. Why am I here? Casey, you're all supported. I think it's fun to have you here. All right, yeah, I'll take that. You can also say that for any episode you've been on. Why are any of us ever here?

Let's say hi to our lovely couple. Introduce yourselves. Hey, my name is Amir Blumenfeld. I'm from Los Angeles. Yeah, no. This is the Jeff Lee-Wed game. It's the newly-wed game with a twist. And you'll find out the twist later.

Later. Oh, Anya. Now Anya's here. Now Anya said she could make it. I begged her to come on this episode. Hey, Anya. Nobody's there. All right.

This is the Jeff Lee-wed game. It's basically like the newly-wed game with a twist. Maybe it was you all along. Avital, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room and then we'll scream for you to come back in.

Alright? This is just for, this is exactly like the Newly Wed game, so, you know, have some water, have a seltzer. Really?

Just for like three minutes. Just for three minutes. And we'll call you back in and then Amir will go out. Does that make sense? This is basically how well do you guys know each other and how strong is the union. Right? So we'll call you back in and then a mural goes on that makes sense This is basically how well do you guys know each other and how strong is the Union right? Yeah, so we'll literally scream a blood-curdling scream at the top

Exactly right all right Amir yeah Why These are just questions for you. This is how I think she'll respond. Exactly. Well, it's also about what you think. It's a little bit different than the Nellie Wood game. It's the Jeff Lee Wood game. Why would your spouse say that she is the better catch? She's younger and more attractive than me.

She! She! She! She! Do you understand that the reason your spouse has never really shelled out for an expensive birthday gift is that you're not worth the price? No, I don't think that. What is your spouse's guilty pleasure? You?

No. My spouse's guilty pleasure is... You can refer to her by name, can't you? Not on the newlywed game because there's usually multiple participants. Well, this is the Jefflywed game. Okay, that's true. She likes sweets, I guess.

Candies. What's her favorite candy? She's more of a pastry woman. Like cookies. Can't have anything sweet in the house. Your spouse takes your hand and pulls you to the dance floor. She leans in and tells you, this song reminds me of you. Why is that song just the sounds of non-anesthetic oral surgery?

Why is it that? Did they ask that on the newlywed game? No, this is a Jeff. I asked that on the Jeff Lee one game. Do you want me to rephrase? It would be a different song. It wouldn't be that. Why is that song just the sounds of non-anesthetic oral surgery?

Because she thinks I have nice teeth. All right. Thank you so much, Shamir. We're going to have to ask you to pop out and grab Avital and bring her back in for her question. Okay, we're doing both? Yep. Fast. Overlapping dialogue, obviously, and then also you getting up and leaving the room quickly, swiftly. it all and bring her back in for her okay we're doing both yep yep fast overlapping

dialogue obviously and then also you getting up and leaving the room quickly swiftly um yeah how's your heart how's your love life um oh first you want me then you don't i can hear there's music yeah there's music even before putting this welcome back to the show we didn't talk about anything in the meantime. Really? Yeah. That's me. I'm here. All right. So questions for Avital.

What did your spouse, or sorry, why did your spouse wear Merrill's on the first date? Or did he just have Merrill wearing energy? I don't know what Merrill's are. Do you want to pull up a photo of Merrill's and then I'll ask the next question? Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Oh, I don't know what Merrells are. Do you want to pull up a photo of Merrells and then I'll ask the next question? Yeah, okay. Sorry. Oh, I don't know what it is either. You don't either?

People under 30 will love that. Great. Your spouse has the day off. How do you spell it? M-E-R-R-E-L-L. I'm just taking a photo of us. All right. Your spouse has the day off and an empty house why does your spouse are they shoes yeah let's see them oh yeah these are ugly can you show it to camera one which one is

i'll put it in a lower third your spouse has the day off. Okay, we're rescheduling for Monday morning anyway, says Fabrous. Okay, great. Your spouse has the day off in an empty house. Why does your spouse spend the day bad? Spend it bad? Yes.

Because he's bad. Got it. I know this is like asking. He had to leave for this? Yes. Okay, got it. I know this is like asking. He had to leave for this? Yes. Okay, got it. I know this is like asking which viral disease is your favorite, but what was your best date with Amir?

Did you ask him this question too? Different questions entirely. Oh, I feel like I need an answer faster, but now I'm really thinking about it and I don't. None of them have been. No. There was a day that we went to the Descanto Gardens. That was really fun.

When was that? Approximately what year? Five years ago. Really? Yeah, maybe. We don't go on dates anymore. We don't like each other anymore. No, we never stop.

This is my best advice. Never stop dating. Never stop dating your wife. That's right. I'll never stop dating my wife.'s right i'll never stop dating my wife um all right thank you let's bring amir back in put us on chairs. Let's just do the thing.

Fucking sit, man. Wasted air time. Come on. Uh... You like me. Well, let's see how you answer these questions first before I commit. It's the Jeff Lee-wed game. It's not the newly-wed game.

So you guys aren't privy to that information to incentivize you to listen to the episode, right? To get those two impressions. So you're not going to say them right now. Well, I want to make sure that see the thing is getting their ad package. You know, their money's worth. So you have to listen to the episode if you want to listen to what they said. All right, here we go. I could also ask you on the way home.

Yeah, right now. What did you say? Yeah. All right, time to play Most Likely To. All right? Casey, you're the judge. Let's bring you in on this. All right.

Basically, you have to judge if they're lying or not. Okay. All right, here we go. Lightning round, really. Most likely to Let's bring you in on this. All right. Basically, you have to judge if they're lying or not. Okay. All right. Here we go. Lightning round, really. Most likely to accidentally find a portal to another dimension. Say it audibly for the audio listeners. Yeah, Avital.

Okay. Amir? I mean, sorry. Casey? I don't think she's lying. Great. Thank you. What about Amir? And Amir said Avital? Yeah. I do think she's lying. Great. Thank you. What about Amir? And Amir said Avital?

Yeah. I do think he is lying. Oh! How does that make sense? Holy shit! Because it's the truth as we know it. Because I think Amir thinks he'll find the portal, but he said you would. Interesting.

I think you think I would. Yeah. I'm just guessing. Because he wouldn't be open to it. He would be like, that's not anything. Yeah, he'd ask you about it. You're too skeptical. Here we go.

Okay, right. Most likely to drive his Mazda into a deer. Probably me, because I have the Mazda. Amir. Casey. Because I love deer. Yeah, Amir's telling the truth. Holy shit, okay.

Most likely to miss their flight because they packed at the last minute. Definitely Alvitol. Definitely me. Casey? I'm like an acquaintance to Alvitol. They seem confident. I'll say they're telling the truth. For sure.

For sure. All right. Most likely to get high to numb his emotions surrounding Jake's sold out NAD pod at Carnegie Hall. The first part was Avital. The second part was me. What's that? Most likely to get

high to numb out is Avital. The specific Jake on NAD pod would be me. It's only the full question, so let's hear that second part. Do you want me to repeat it? No, I guess me, then. Most likely to get high to numb is jealousy of jake more likely me really yeah because jake and i have shared uh in how little amir have little

amir gets jealous like we uh have more heightened emotions we are more likely to be jealous overall than amir or jill is that because you're at peace with yourself, Amir, or is that because you don't feel anything? Yes. That's a question for our therapist, I guess. You're not in singular therapy? I was, and then I stopped going. Sounds like my dad. Why?

He might be your dad. Most likely to clap when the plane lands. Neither of us. Really? Yeah. I was clapping now, but not when the plane lands. All right.

Most likely to have to busk out to the sky. She's telling the truth. Oh, yeah. Sorry, Casey. What do you think? Telling the truth? She's telling the truth, yeah. Most likely to busk outside the sphere after he lost his last 60 grand playing Keno in Vegas.

Amir. That's me. I love Vegas. That's right. Casey. True. True. And then the last one, most likely to get kind of too drunk at the wedding.

I'm going to say Casey. Yeah. Casey? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sure. I would say I'm more likely than you, but probably neither of us will.

Yeah. Did we win? You definitely won, and your prize is that, I don't know, your prize is that I won't dox the wedding. I'll sweep everything out, or I'll release this next week. You're welcome. Thank you. What are you most excited about for the wedding?

For the wedding or for your entire marriage? For the wedding. I want the marriage one. For the wedding, I am really excited to be at that wedding venue. And then I'm excited to see like Marika

and Jake okay cool and love is love is love is love is love so I like I mean I'm also excited what about my dress

you don't give a shit he really doesn't care about your dress wow I'm excited what kind of cake is it is it the vanilla almond classic there's gonna be

more than one cake none of them are like traditional wedding cakes but there'll be several normal cakes I think I was pretty hands off for planning the wedding Except for the cake

All I care about is the cake That's true And the music, cared a lot about the music And we'll be playing Cake by the Ocean Nice And a long Cake Nice

I'm really excited. I love weddings. I haven't been to one since Jake's. So this is really fun. You haven't been to a cake since Jake's? I said I'm excited for the wedding. Oh, sorry. And what are you most excited about for the marriage? Probably the linking and building of it all.

I mean, I want to see how this brings you guys together financially mostly. Yes. Are you going to see that? I'm very concerned about the finances. How will you see it? I'll probably break into our bank accounts. Jeff will be a guarantor on our joint savings. I was going to say a trust

store. So, did you guys buy your house through a trust? Or is it in your name? Plugs. Plugs. Plugs. What do you guys have going on? Other than the obvious. Do you want to plug the wedding?

It seems like you want to keep everything under wraps. Yes, we do. Yes, and don't plug it. You can still watch Passover.gay because Jeffrey and Amir are both in it. Oh, that's good. Passover.gay. I blacked out during the filming of that.

I don't remember what I said because it was improvised. Yeah. Was it, was, I know that the show was good, but was my episode fun? Yeah. It was a semi-scripted web series starring Avital. People really like it. It used to be called Antisocial Distance. That's right.

Now it's Passover.gay. That's right. That's the URL slash. Title. Borderline new title. Exactly right. Antisocial Distance I found really annoying to type. And also, frankly, not as punchy as Passover.gay.

Thank you. Casey, what was that? I said Passover.gay is good. Passover.gay. Is good. Let's hear your plugs, Casey. Pitwall podcast. I don't know when this episode comes out.

This Friday, ideally. This Friday? Either ideally this Friday or next Friday. Okay, well, we just had Riley on the show. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, Jeff was going to be there, but he slept through it. Is that true? Not on purpose.

Wow. My phone was plugged in with an alarm to wake up. Another plug. Nice. And punctal plugs. Don't you have those? I do. Well, not at the moment.

I actually bet Dr. Arthur Benjamin, who I sent you to, needs to plug me. Oh, plug it up. you to needs to plug me oh plug it up my doctor needs to plug me punctile or otherwise butt and punctile my two favorite plugs and the eye doctor

does the butt exactly right the punctile is my partner I think because you mentioned that I was the star of the fringe I'm gonna hopefully after this job ends

tour it again so if you would like to go to avitalash.com. I would love to go see it if you do it in LA. I heard that it was good. From who? Friends of mine saw it who were at Fringe. I don't know if they said hi to you or not. That's cool.

They said it was dark, but that it was good. That's nice. But if you go to avitalash.com, just trying to actually get that plug in, then there'll be dates and updates. So sign up for the email list. Nice. Sorry, I feel like I took the plugs too seriously.

No, you should. That's the only part of this that's worthwhile for you. Amir? Follow me on Instagram. I'm at avitalash. Thank you. Nice. What a sweet.

You're keeping your name. Yeah. I'm pushing for him to take mine but Amir Ash I don't mind that right it sounds like a small rash though

Amir Ash Amir Rash it's Amir Rash yeah it's just a small amount of eczema yeah but you don't hear it until he says it that way

Amir Ash makes sense you don't hear it until I say it yeah I do think Amir Ash sounds like a cooler guy. Thank you.

Ash is a cooler last name than Blumenfeld for sure. But you dragged the R in a way that nobody would say it. My name ends with an R. But you say Amir Rash, but it's not Amir Rash. It's Amir Ash. Amir Ash. What about – Amir Ash.

Because your brother – Take it. They did a portmanteau, him and his wife, right? It became Blumenfeld. Oh, yeah, yeah. They changed their last name. You don't have to say what it is. So what about Ashenfeld?

Yeah. Then we lose everything that's good about ash. What about Blooming Rash? You're obviously not taking this seriously. If you can't even, yeah, if you can't even take a plug section seriously. I mean, how are you going to take the vows? That's right. You'll be there and find out IRL.

Cut. That was a Hidgum Original.