The Headgum Podcast - 179: Reg Egg

Episode Date: November 17, 2023

Amir, Marika, Anya, and Richelle join Geoff to discuss Cam'ron, the Mansueto Library at UChicago, and Richelle's dark past.Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Is there? I mean, he doesn't live in the city. Yeah, yeah. You just call a local upstate. Yeah. A bakery or something. They could make a drop-off happen for sure. That would be really funny. I think I'm going to work on that right now. Hang on.

Yeah. Cool. Yeah. You can get them like a roast. Yeah. Oh, I love, yeah.

And then the note could just be like, I know this is your favorite. Yeah. I pulled all the strings and I got you a roast after all. And after hours um yeah fuck you guys

what do you mean we're giving you the idea you want us to take over to me it's impressive what you do and how much you do it and I appreciate it do you ever drive

when you're driving in car, do you ever El Marica doesn't drive in the car. But Jeffrey does. Do you ever just listen to static? Radio static? Listen, not everybody can be radio free Anya.

You're obsessed with radio man. I mean she's like driving hither and thither, parkour A to B as complicated as possible throughout the streets of mind you and it's just static this static that is it AM or FM or are you just going to say both

you're trying to dox me from my last apartment so I don't live there anymore I also do want to answer this because I think I do something really really weird which is I often put in my AirPods which have the noise canceling feature

and I listen to nothing. I just walk around with those in. I do that. And they drain the battery. I do. And you do that well, it's often helpful so no one talks to you out in a city like New York. Yeah. Popcorn in your beard, right man? It does feel like

some sort of defense mechanism. But it's often the situation where if I'm listening to something and I go in a store, I turn it off because I'm too... Do you guys not understand that there's a fucking episode that started? You guys are still saying the same conversation from before.

Jeff, I don't mean to start off on this note but there is buzzing on one of the tracks yeah you hate to hear it it's also so jarring not seeing jeff i fixed it jarred oh that was huge jar joy are we talking jar joy in terms of basically rochelle to fill you in um jar joy is when you take something that you love and you put it in a sack. Okay, for later? In a sack. Not even.

I wish it was that. Just to be in a sack. For earlier. Yeah. There's putting things somewhere for safekeeping, and then there's this, which is entirely different. And then you never revisit it again. AM or FM, Anya? AM radio when you're driving in your car?

Great question. There's a time and a place for both. In your car. Static. On the stereo. Anya. Radio free. And Anya.

Have you been on before? I have been on before. Okay. I couldn't tell if I was supposed to tell you that that might happen or not. Rochelle had the classic line of, I don't know what this show is. That just brought the house down at minute 38 of her episode. Did you figure it out? It's still true.

Yeah, I was going to say, that hasn't changed since. I am loving the energy, though, today. Amir came in. Well, you kind of had some good energy before we started recording. And then you housed a smart popcorn. I don't know if you're crashing or what. Because now you're like crumbs in the beard, starting to look pissed. I had to sort of MacGyver together a lunch out of a series of snacks and oatmeal.

gyver together a lunch out of a series of snacks and oatmeal and like i'm in this weird like when you just snack your way through all of breakfast and lunch right so you're not really hungry but you're not full in a happy way either boy lunch they call it yes it's a boy lunch boy lunch is just seemingly grains because you had oatmeal and popcorn yeah and then i also had a banana and a coffee actually boy lunch is my new dj yeah all the time your new dj name is boy lunch i don't mind that i don't mind that at all what kind of tracks are you spinning usually just songs that i listened to in college mashed up like two songs switching in between the two or like every single song you liked in college? Every single song I liked in college. Yeah.

And when people say, what's your alma mater? You often say Berkeley. And then they're like, oh my God, School of Music. And you don't correct them. Yeah, because I want them to think that I have a specific trade or skill. Whereas Berkeley, the one I went to is just open season for anyone who lived in California in the 90s. Yeah. It was also open concept.

Meaning? The library didn't have a lot of walls. Really? And we haven't talked enough about this. I thought we brought up Berkeley's library recently, but maybe not. Libraries have to be open concept, right? I just want to air that out. It's always just one big room.

Yeah, but every library architect has the choice to drywall over the dewey decimal system they just don't i mean my school had a library that was a glass egg so let's hear more about that because i don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Was it really a glass egg and oval? Yeah, Mansueto Library. That's featured in the movie Divergent. How do you spell that, Marika? We're going to get a numbers crunch on that. D-I-V-E-R-G-E-N-T. That's the movie.

The library is Mansueto. Mansueto College. Truly crazy for both of you to think that I thought Marika went to Divergent College. Well, you just said what's the name. I didn't think that. I just thought you were spelling the Divergent College. No, Marika, let's sit in this moment for a second.

Because it feels bad to all of us. Why? What's the name of the fucking library? UChicago? Reg. UChicago. Just type in Reg. R-E-G, Egg. Just type in Reg.

Reg. Just type in Egg. A Ratchet Egg Library from the movie Divergent University. I have a question for Rochelle. Reg Egg Library? Mansuido Library. There, we got it. All right.

Oh, wow, look at that. Libra Dome. Libra Dome. Libra Dome. Wow. Why did you. Oh, wow, look at that. Library dome. Library dome. Wow. Why did you say that? I don't mind that for Mariko. Library dome. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what she calls it up here. Nice. That's really good. Yeah. My bibliotech dome. Yeah. Holy.

Rochelle, let's dive into your past. Let's talk about who you loved the most in this world. We're moving on from the library that fast? Yeah. What more is there to say about the Librodome? I just thought it's got a robot arm that gets books from underground. What the fuck is any of this? Marika went to college in the future. And now she's back to tell us about it.

Marika has BDE talking about a robot arm. E-D-E. Big library energy. Egg. Big dome energy. Yeah, this really does say LibraDome, reg egg igloo. That's insane.

Quickly as students have dreamed up pet names for mensuedo, they've adopted the futuristic library as their own versus doing what I mean they need to create copy I mean this has got to be like 50 grand a year for you Chicago

more than 50? it's more expensive than USC it was like 60 maybe USC was $60. But I had a 50% scholarship. It doesn't matter. Really? Not marriage-based.

It was threatened-based. You blackmailed them for the other 50%. My school actually recently was part of a lawsuit where apparently they have to pay people's like student loans like someone won a lawsuit and now chicago owes students like hundreds of thousands of dollars that's not a lot for the whole university to owe only a couple hundred thousand dollars that's two yeah but it's like i should be getting money from them and i haven't gotten my email about it yet you're gonna and never mind, let's hear it.

But anyway, back to Rochelle. The Libra Dome is where you would enact revenge. Well, first of all, no, because no one ever called it the Libra Dome and I hate that. They called it what? Real egg or whatever? Just egg?

We called it the Reg Egg or Mansueto. It really is reminiscent of that like mayo shit where it's like just egg. What's the reg in Reg Egg? The Regenstein. What? Regenstein? I was just going to see. Yeah.

Because you have the Regen Library and then you have the Just Reg Library. Well, it was the Regenstein Library, but yeah. Okay. It was Mansueto suedo yeah this is very confusing the reg egg library reg stands for regenstein because it's the regenstein library but it's also called man suedo or the library you have to understand that the reg egg was an addition to the regenstein library where you have to walk down a glass hallway and then enter this glass dome with the robot arm. And the Regenstein was like

a really concrete arm egg. There should also be Regenstein in addition. Before there was an egg, there was Regenstein and they were like inspired by his last name. And they built it into the shape of an egg

not even inspired it was something else entirely perspired yeah it was sweat and it also is that it looks like an egg oh Regenstein

that the library looks like an egg I mean don't get me started on the Reva and David Logan Center I'll tell you what and we won't get you started on that

my last question is crass but I have to ask did you or anybody you know ever get dome in the Labrador? Wow. Definitely not me. I assume somebody did. I got Labrador. Rochelle just dragged me by quoting me.

Rochelle is, oh my God, you almost spilled a pint of cold brew. Are you younger than Jeff in a cool fashion fashion or are you sort of the same age? I'm hoping somebody is a younger hipper. I think I'm older than you. And yet you still made fun of the worst. No, you're 28.

I'm 30. Okay, I'm 25. So when she made fun of you saying dome, I thought it was coming from a place. You know that song where it's like

we've got trucks, we've got jeeps, plus dome. No. This is the worst song I've got trucks. We've got Jeeps. Plus dome. No. This is the worst song I've ever heard. This is so fucked up. That was an awful song. That is the song. We've got Jeeps.

Dome. That's a song? Yes. Was that you singing? No, it's Cameron. Jesus Christ. I'm too young and old for this. Yeah, it's like an older song

the younger generation has kind of repurposed. Listen to that. We got trucks. We got Jeeps. Pregnant pause. Dome. It's not even... Oh, and he also has a song called Losing Weight.

Three. Just sort of... The trilogy about fucking exercising more. Okay, here it is. Not that. That's all good so far. Dome. And then here it is.

Wait. Where's the dome? There's no dome. You made up the dome part. No, the dome is over here. So you're talking about trucks and Jeeps again? Yes. No, the dome is over here. So you're talking about trucks and jeeps again? Yes. No, the dome is over here.

So the pregnant pause was an ellipsis. It's written out. You get to later in the song. This is it. This is it. Yeah. Unrelated part of the song. Yeah, but that's like the gist of it.

It's like we were in the range, Range Rover, talking about an SUV. And then it's like we hooked up, plus dome. I get that that part of the song, but when you said it was we got trucks, we got Jeeps. Dome. All of you except for Rochelle. He's talking to his friend. He's talking to his friend. Yeah.

And his friend's like, what's up? And he's like, plus dome. And his friend's like, plus dome. And he said, plus dome. And he said, say what? The addition of dome. The way you say it, Jeff, is so scary. Dome.

Right? Got drugs. Plus dome. Plus dome. Plus rice. And we're going to burn rice tonight. Oh, wow. You guys weren't on the episode.

It comes out, I think, this Friday. But we did a rice parody parody which we haven't done for a while and it was walk on the wild side but it was use a walk to ensure burnt char no so wait so do you basically like rice i love rice i just think it is best served it's a dish best served charred does that make sense so So basically it's like not crispy. Not fried rice. No. Not sticky rice.

Little crispy is good. He wants it burnt black. Cauterized grains. Sear this. We remember. Yeah. When you said a little crispy, it's sort of like giving him too much credit. Yeah.

A little crispy is good. Yeah. Picture something abnormal. It's not what we're talking about. What's the Persian rice dish that's like you do kind of burn it on the bottom and then flip it over? It's like saffron rice.

Tajin? Tajin is a spice. No. You looked right at me. Isn't Tajin the dome that they cook in? Plus dome. The dome. I cook in? Plus dome. The dome I cook clay pot,

curry, burnt rice, cigarettes. Hey, we're at you, Chicago. I mean, that is gonna be so good. Tagine, it's good.

We're all inside a rag egg. No, it sounds like that, but tagine is the spice. Let's get a numbers crunch on this fucking burnt rice dish. It is the spice, but it's also... Tahini? No, tagine is the thing that you cook it in. Burnt rice, Persian dish. There's no spice in something called tagine.

Yeah. Tadig. Yes, that's it. Tadig, yeah, so it's like... But I think it's also called... it's like got jeeps got trucks library dome to dig burnt rice it says crispy

really then it's not good enough it's also spelled t-a-c-h-i-n so t-a-h-H-I-N. So. T-A-H-D-I-G, I thought. This is fucked up. Got lost in translation, I guess. Yeah, I guess so.

And speaking of. Did you just vape? No, you said lost in translation, so I went. Oh, like at the end where you can't hear what he's saying. At the end of what? Have you seen the Priscilla movie yet? I'm getting nailed in. I almost went this weekend.

Sophia Coppola. This week, my Bond of the Week is Anya's boyfriend. Why? Because he's handsome, he's suave, and he knows when and how to give others the floor. Just like James. What? What?

When did you even meet him? When did I? When did you even meet him when did i when did you even meet him are you kidding me it wasn't passing 19 months ago that's what i was trying to figure out no he was why he's in your kind of mental zeitgeist frontal cortex yeah yeah and you, left and right side brain. Me thinking about, what's his name, Sandy? No. It's not.

But thank you. I'll tell him. Well. He doesn't know who you are. Not yet. Not until you tell his ass. Because we didn't come over that time. You invited just me and him, not Casey, to your house.

Yeah. There was a day in the studio. We've talked about it before, but this is just for Rochelle. I was going to move to Laurel Canyon. That's a brag. That's a lease. And I was like telling Anya about it because I was like, oh, I have to move. And she was like, where are you moving?

I said, Laurel Canyon. We talked about how we love Laurel Canyon. I said, you and your boyfriend should come over. And Casey was right next to me. Unbelievable HR violation, I believe. It was so funny. I was like, where are you moving? I said, Laurel Canyon. We talked about how we love Laurel Canyon. I said, you and your boyfriend should come over. And Casey was right next to me. Unbelievable HR violation, I believe. It was so funny. I was like, okay. It was illegal to think, let alone extend the invitation.

And my boyfriend, who he has met once in passing 19 months ago. And then what ended up really happening was that we went to Amir's wedding in Laurel Canyon. And it was me and Casey. Weirdly. So it ended up not being ideal for anyone involved and I didn't even move to Laurel Canyon. And we weren't invited to the wedding. Oh.

Or my boyfriend. Rochelle was there and your boyfriend. But everyone was sent the registry, which seemed fucked. Well, I figure if you're not there in spirit, you can be there in cash. Can I ask you a question, Amir? Sure. I got an email last night that said oh that was a thank you

note for your gift can i also can i follow up ask a question i also have a question this says three questions this says thank you from amir and avital it says dear jeff you gave dollar sign low tier thank you best regards, anecdote. Did you send that to everybody or just me? I copied and pasted that and then I was supposed to update it depending on who gave what and stuff like that. But I might have

accidentally sent it a little bit too early. There's no way. There's no way. I feel like everyone else... Yeah, Marika, what was yours? I forgot to do the registry. You forgot to do it? Is it too late?

It's not too late. Your money is no good here. Yeah, it's a little bit happy. And Jeff's wasn't quite enough. So between the two of you. I got you the blender, right? The blender that you slacked about today? I do have two blenders now because somebody gave us a blender and we already had one.

So if anybody wants a blender. Wait, did someone give you a blender off registry? Yes. That's crazy. I thought it was me that gave you the blender because I thought it was like 50 bucks. If that's low tier, I don't know who your friends are. We got a nice blender. Did you have stuff on your registry?

Like, did you have items on the registry? No, it was just a honey fund. Okay, that's what I thought. Mine, yeah, okay, I just gave cash. I would love for that cash. So my initial plan was to send you. Do you want a blender? What's that?

Do you want a blender? I have a blender. So unless it is a Vitamix, I'm good. It's not, but it looks like one. Do you think that person regifted? Like, what's up with that? It was like a family friend. So it was like an older couple.

So they were just like, I don't give a shit about the registry. Every wedding, they just do blender. Can I pitch a business idea on this note uh on yes note so obviously there's a lot of times that gifts are warranted to somebody to say thank you you know um and we did send you a thank you card right and it was hurtful to hear and read um basically gift baskets are a thing like cookies wine, cheese, crackers, whatever crackers I wonder just from a sustainability standpoint and price if we

create thrift baskets so it's like a Harry and David gift arrangement but it's mostly garbage a lot of people think gift baskets are already mostly garbage. So, yeah. Did you have a question or was it about the blenders? There were three questions queued

and Marika's was second. I'm sorry. She already asked hers. Yeah, Marika, so it's your turn. So it was my turn. I actually was wondering what they gifted you. I didn't realize you had a honey fund and now I'm kind of fixated on this couple that gives blenders to everybody.

I think that's crazy. Yeah. I had another idea to get you for the registry before. It was just like, oh, give us cash. It was going to be kind of its own gift basket, not a thrift basket, different idea, of like formula, nursery, wallpaper,

diapers, etc. Stuff to incentivize having kids. Not even incentivize, more so pressure. Now we have all this stuff so let's have this serious talk because Jeff sort of pushed the issue. Let's have this serious tyke. Let's get a kid in that backyard.

In that basket. You should give a kid a basket. Kid basket. That's really good. Like a fire station situation. Yeah, pick them up from the fire station on the way to the wedding. Playmobil meets Play-Doh. Yes. Marika's pissed.

God, Jeff. I just realized there's a way for Marika to see you. How so? To put it on my laptop? No, switch the input video on the Zoom. You can cut this out and switch it to the webcam. You should be able to do it. But then she wouldn't see us.

Oh, but then she won't see us. Forget it. All right. The way for her to see me would be for on my laptop to stay on the Zoom. Yeah. I just feel bad for her because she's missing such an important part of this. True, true. Are you going to talk about your Halloween costume?

Because it looks like you still have residue. Oh, wait. Are you going to talk about the episode we were supposed to record on Friday, but you couldn't because you said you had to talk about your Halloween costume? Because it looks like you still have residue. Wait, are you going to talk about the episode we were supposed to record on Friday, but you said you had to work on your Halloween costume and you gave a 300th notice and then you called me while I was in a session to see if it was inconveniencing me

that you were canceling so last minute? No, we're not going to talk about that. I think, for Grace to cut that out, I think... Grace, leave it in. I was Mugatu from Zoolander. Do you have pictures or anything? Not on my phone you still have the eyeliner or something don't be like mad about that i'm not mad i just i'm like i don't have the fucking receipts yet so did you think about it last minute is that why you have to push them no i ordered it a week in advance and it just didn't come it was supposed

to come wednesday it didn't come supposed to come Wednesday. It didn't come. It was supposed to come Thursday. It didn't come. It was supposed to come Friday. I was like, that's my last fucking chance. It didn't come. So I had to drive

hither than thither, spirit Halloween, et cetera, Instacarting. Which is what you want to avoid. Instacarting what? The fucking lettering, right?

Okay. Tape on M-U-G-A-T-U. All individual. And here's what I'll say. Orders. And I'll, you know, what's that? All individual ordersU All individual And here's what I'll say And I'll You know What's that?

All individual orders All individual yeah Someone came up to me Well Forget it I'm not gonna tell this story I do have a photo of it though Anya also said

All will be forgiven If I get a photo of that costume So I will give it to you So no forgiveness yet? Not yet I don't really remember saying that. I have the receipts. How long, ultimately, how long did it take you

to pull together the rest of the costumes? Jesus. Jesus. Was it worth it? Let me work it. Yeah. It's a commercial. Because you did cancel, like,

an hour before the recording so and i this show is sponsored by better help guys if you had an extra hour in your day how would you spend it because i would absolutely fix all of my problems with the extra hour. That's the issue is that there aren't 25 hours in the day. So I can't become a better version of me. Does that make sense? But maybe you would want to go for a run or go for a nap or go for reading a book. Because a lot of us spend our times wishing that we had more time in our day. And the question is, time for what?

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We'll give you an extra hour for preparing. I don't know if Marika's not hearing the sound effects or if she's just specifically regarding them. I'm not, which I tried to say minutes ago and you just steamrolled over me. It says! It says sharing computer audio. You're not.

You're not sharing it. I actually do think I know why this is. Do you want to fix it? Yeah. Go to settings. Okay. This is the most... I've done this now three times. No, settings on the computer. On the computer settings. Of course. It's at the bottom. Go to audio.

Oh, it's not muted that is the output muted it's not so no explanation this is awful um moving on slash circling back to and i'm i didn't mean to be rude rochelle but let's get back into the question which is diving into your past let's see what you know it's halloween tomorrow not when this episode comes out but uh let's check in on those skeletons in the closet what's the worst thing you've ever done you obviously don't have to answer that naturally yeah i will share this one because it got solved but i officiated my friend's wedding and i lost the ring wow oh that's pretty good um but then we found it oh that's good where was it um so i had uh i had had a few drinks and i swallowed them all. I found it in a pawn shop. I had dropped the ring in my car in between the console

and the little, you know, the little black hole. Yeah. And then, you know, tried to find it. It wasn't there. Did everything I could. Mark even, my Mark, my boyfriend,

brought the car to Jiffy Lube to remove the car seat. This was like two hours before the wedding. Wow. Jesus. And they couldn't find it. And me and another bridesmaid went back to see where we parked the car and see if we could find anything.

And this old couple walks by. And they are like, what are you looking for? And I'm crying on the floor. I'm very stressed. And we're like, we're looking for a wedding ring. They're like, oh, oh, wow. Well, don't worry. We won't tell anyone.

And then this old lady looks down and the wedding ring is right by her feet. Oh, my God. Destiny. And that old lady married my brother-in-law. So that's the worst thing you've ever done? That's the worst thing I've ever done. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

That's pretty good. That's the worst thing you've ever done, I think. Yeah, I'm a really good person. Really good person, yeah. Seems like an honest mistake. Yeah. This isn't like the post, post, post nuptial episode or whatever but how do you feel being married do you feel like a different man or it's all the same you just have a you don't have a ring on by the way there it is you were concealing it though there was some kind of level of embarrassment because i'm still trying to hit on chicks so like i'm trying to hide it for them

in case any like the youtube commenters want to slide into my G-chat DM. Amir's now just walks around like this. You want people to Gmail message you? G-chat, yeah. G-chat, yeah. Even Misha, I think, less used. Yep. For sure, for sure.

That's cool because that means he's only targeting women his age and older. Well, the demographics, you might get into some hot water here because, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You look married. Thank you. That was not a compliment.

I hate that. You have been different. Really? Mm-hmm. That's cool. In a positive way or... Moving on. Yet to be.

That's a new thing that we do. Four dot, dot dot dot responses. Solid bit. Let's talk company reports. I feel like we've not really talked about what's going on at the network recently. And I feel like the listeners not only deserve to know but are well overdue to know.

Are you going to ask Rochelle what she gets? Plus don't. I don't know what most of overdue to know. Are you going to ask Rochelle what she gets? Plus don't. I don't know what most of y'all do. That's so clear. Ultimately. I sort of forgot Marika was here and then she came in with that epic draw.

Every time you do this it's pointless. It's jointless because there's no union between us. What do you mean company report? What do you want to see? Checking in is all on Teams, Microsoft or otherwise. I'm wondering what Rochelle does and how it's been going for Rochelle. I don't work here full time.

So you're a freelance producer. I'm a freelance producer. Yeah. And you work on full time. So you're a freelance producer. I'm a freelance producer. And you work on Handbook. You work on Gossip Kings. Lil Rel, Gossip Kings. Just Gossip Kings. Factually. Definitely. And a new show. And a new show, which I don't know if it's announced.

It could announce, right? It's the **** one. No. Jeff, I'm begging you. I'm pleading with myself to get this back on track. I don't know what's happening. I'm just trying to ask Rochelle about her company report

and it's going off the rails. Get played? We can talk about it. Get paid. We haven't announced. We haven't announced, so cut this out, Bryce. Segments or...

You can bleep it. But it's an exciting show and it's coming soon and you guys are going to be excited and Rochelle's working on it. Not much of a company report for the public if they don't even know

what the name of the show Rochelle's been working on. Right, which is what we say every single time where it's like, you don't know what you're talking about. Why so secretive?

You don't know. I don't understand why it can't be public knowledge. Build some hype over this shit. It will be hype when you bleep everything. when this episode's even coming out. Yeah, true.

It's true. This episode could be coming out in like late November. Actually, it will be already launched by the time this comes out. When does the show launch? When does the what? When does the show launch? When does the company launch? We've been live for a while. For years. For almost a decade, yeah.

November 6th, I think? This will definitely, it'll be well, it'll all be over. This show will be cancelled by the time exactly right Jeff what's your job I am a freelance producer only on this show and I host this show

and I edit the sketches and miscellaneous videos here's a question and I write them and I'm in them for real a real question for real I think I should get adult braces for the bit Here's a question. And I write them and I'm in them. For real. A real question. For real. I think I should get adult braces for the bit. For the bit?

I have this one tooth that's like a little bit out of whack. I don't like how they look on this camera. Did you say for the bit or for a bit? I think you said the bit. For the bit. So like for a year I would have adult braces. Got it. I mean that's fine because you're 25. That's still young enough to have Got it. I mean, that's fine because you're 25.

That's still young enough to have adult braces. I feel like that's well past the cutoff. No, I think, isn't that like cool right now? To have braces? Yeah. I feel like I see a lot of. I feel like I might get like a grill. I don't know about that.

Can you get like one brace? It's a crazy part of the interview. A single brace. Just for every one tooth? Orthodontics are hot now. Is it my trend in or not circles I want attention from? All right, new DJ name, Invisalign. I do have a question for Jeff.

Actually, it's for the listeners. Do the listeners think that you work here full time? The listeners know that I barely work here at all, I think. Although I do think some of them are like, get mad at the company for not giving me health care. And I'm like, I think. Although I do think some of them are like, get mad at the company for not giving me health care. And I'm like, I don't, I'm not an employee. I'm a contractor. And how do they know that we don't give you health care?

I know. Because I've complained about it on the show. Oh. So that's probably why. Because it's on my mind because I turned 26 in three weeks. What are you going to do for health care? Probably the Cal thing that everybody does. Cal Health. Is that a Cal? Covered California. Covered California. They keep changing the name, I health care? Probably the Cal thing that everybody does. Cal Health.

Covered California. Covered California. They keep changing the name, I feel like, too. But whatever the thing is. You're still covered under your parents' insurance. For only three more weeks. And then it'll be a problem. So what is everyone upset about?

Because three weeks is not a long time. And what if I fall off a ledge? He is often on ledges. People never talk me off either, too. Imagine being at a ledge at the reg edge. I really feel like I might end up on the edge of the ret.

I'm dyslexic visually. What does that mean? That means he thinks eggs have ledges. I'm dyslexic. I really do wish that people would talk me off the ledge back into the building. I feel like people chant for me to get off the ledge towards death. This is like your second Joker reference.

That would be a really funny costume for tomorrow is me walking into the office for the Halloween happy hour. What's that? Do you know what you're going to be, Jeff? Thank you Gary Glitter He's going to be Gary Glitter That's cool That's really cool

What did you guys do In the break between when you had healthcare And when you got it from a company Gary Glitter did a bad thing So don't dress up I'll just cut this out entirely. Like the entire episode until now? Probably...

Well, we had the rag egg. That's gone. Rochelle didn't want to talk about the skeletons in her closet. Made up some bullshit about losing the rings. I'm like, we'll keep that in, I guess. But just so that people can know how fake you are. I killed a person. What?

God! Cut that out. Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun. Fake you are. I killed a person. Oh my god. Cut that out. Wait, so yeah, but everyone here didn't have healthcare for a minute. What do you do? You just do the Medi-Cal covered thing. What do you mean covered? Rachelle, you don't have healthcare. What does that mean?

Yeah, I pay for covered California. And how is that for you? Do you have dental? I do. I have everything. It's kind of expensive. How much is it per month? I'll bleep it out. Like $2.75. He's not going to bleep it out. Why does it matter

that to bleep out? You say so much worse things and now you're just asking the price of health insurance. I will say when you do it, you should get PPO even though it is kind of expensive. That's what they always ask you at the doctor's office. Do you have PPO? My parents' insurance hasn't always paid for everything out here

because it's like regional to Ohio. So like my eye doctor doesn't. Maybe you should go back. There's a reason the universe is pushing you. Closer to the red egg, first of all. Maybe I'll be Magneto-hio tomorrow. So I'm being magnetically pulled to failure slash returning home.

I'll be magneto-hio tomorrow. I feel like we're covering nothing. And this is coming out mid-November and we're talking about Halloween. True. Did you plan anything for this one? I did. Company reports.

And we've gotten through just Rochelle's, which I do appreciate it, Rochelle. Your last name is? Chen. I just didn't know her last name because I wanted to call her by her last name like we were all on a team sport. Right? What about Rochelle Zero? That's pretty cool. Who says no to that? Nobody.

Don't tell us where you're from, but are you from California? Did you go to high school in California? I didn't go to California. Nobody. Are you from don't tell us where you're from, but are you from California? Like, did you go to high school in California? I didn't go to California high school. Okay, so maybe we can guess what state Rochelle went to high school. Well, you went to Reed. We know that. It's either Reed or Lewis and Clark

and don't even tell me which because I just want to believe you went to Reed. Okay. So your guess is what? Reed that. Your guess is what? Oregon? Yeah, Portland. No.

Not Oregon. You guys are not going to get it. Wow. Marika, what's your guess? Let's go in Tallahassee. That's not a state. No. Obviously.

State of mind. I'm in a Tallahassee state of mind. Okay, let's describe that. New York state of mind, but from Tallahassee. Do you know what state? What would Tallahassee

state of mind be? I've got a punch up. Football related. I've got a punch up for that. No, not even. So it's somebody who works at a watermelon farm

in Tallahassee. Okay. I'm in a Tallahassee state of rind. Love it. I know that's coming. Marika, state guess? Why doesn't what I say ever bring people joy?

She knows everything I'm going to say in this episode. I feel like we're going to get there eventually. There's only 50 options. We've already eliminated two. No. Georgia? No. You guys aren't going to get it.

Maine. You know? Yes. Oh, you know what high school? Well, because I kind of ask Michelle questions. Oh, like what high school did you go to? Nobody's lambasting me for it. I'm asking her great questions.

Incredible questions. With equally great expectations. Missouri. Kidding me? Oh, did you know? This is an ambush. Because it's not Missouri. Marika, you haven't guessed one yet.

Yeah, because I haven't had a chance to get a word in edgewise. No, this is bullshit, Marika. Like, just, again, overlapping dialogue. Connecticut. No. San Francisco. You are simply never going to get it. I was born in San Francisco.

Oh. Or the Bay Area. Nevada. No. No. Montana. No. North Dakota, because it's the least populous. Wyoming. No. No. There's a it's the least populous.

Wyoming? No. There's a chance it's not a state. Puerto Rico? Wait, that was a red herring. Florida. Yes. I knew it.

Canada? No. Are you from fucking Canada? No. Wait, was it not in America? No. It was not in America. It's got to be Guam.

Look at me. I don't understand why you guys can't. I can't tell what you're doing about it. I feel offensive guessing. It was an offensive question. Guess what state Rochelle went to high school in. I'll say China. Like if I said that, that would be offensive.

Well, that's closer. Singapore? No. You're close. Singapore? No. You're close. Vietnam? No. This is wrong. That's what I thought.

That's what I thought Amir was asking. He was like, no offense, but where did you go to high school? Where did you go to high school? It was Portugal, you asshole. It was Portland. He was like, you don't have to answer but it was reed college high school wise okay we give up thailand thailand okay wow you went to high school in thailand damn but you were born in the bay so you're born american citizen um my parents separated

i moved to thailand with my mom at eight do you have dual citizenship no okay dual fueled gas range yes actually really do you speak fluent perfectly um i actually don't know what that meant i just said yes to that who's your realtor? Do you speak fluent Thai? Who's your realtor? She says the dual fuel induction. Got it. That means that there's natural gas coming through the burners and there's electric induction convecting your gas.

Who's your realtor? Do you like Thai food? I love Thai food. What's the best Thai food in LA? Wait, I can tell you. I forgot the name of the place. She's answered that for me before. It's in Thai town.

It's in Thai town. And it's called... Is it Jitlada? Ba'ord. That's it. Ba'ord? It's not Jitlada. She never names Jitlada.

Wow. Is that the one that used to be a Winchell's? Like there's a... No. But you know which one I'm talking about? I don't know which one that is. Is this the one that Amir got the green curry thrown on his windshield? He wronged a lover and she tossed a tie at him.

Is that real? Of course it's real. Bow or is your favorite tie? Here's another personal question for Rochelle. And I don't want to cross any boundaries, but have you ever dated a famous? A famous? Person. Oh.

Or conversely, who's the most famous person you've ever dated a famous? A famous? Person. Oh. Or conversely, who's the most famous person you've ever dated? It was a guitarist in a band. Whoa. That's cool. How do you spell bow? What? And who's your realtor?

Can you bleep it? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think we even need to. It was a band that I really liked, so it was a big deal to me. That's cool. I've heard of them.

Is it P.A. Ord? P.A. Ord. Got it. This is, okay. Please be black. We have to move on company. I will. I'll probably cut it out.

The band or the food? The band. The food, anybody. Company report, right? What has been going on beyond the studio falling apart at the seams? So here's my question back to you. Yeah. Is company report what do you do at this company or how the company's doing because you've both it's it's it's it's three things it's what do you do at the company how is your job going at the company and then how are you affecting the company's success negatively or positively

this looks really good all right it's good it's best. So here's what's happening to me positively. Okay. Personally at the company. Sure. I hope Marty and Cohen don't see this. They never watch. They definitely will not. So I went to Party City a couple weeks ago and I got two Halloween costumes. Sure. In two different sizes. One Halloween

costume, two sizes because I wanted to try them on. I didn't like either of them. And so I, but I forgot to return them. Of course. And after a certain day, you can only get store credit. And I was like, what am I going to do with $90 in store credit to Party City? So I messaged Marty and Cohen and I said, do we need any Halloween decorations from Party City? And they said, yes, that's awesome. That's so nice that you went out of your way to kind of like volunteer to go shopping

for decorations for us. 100%. And so I was like, that's no problem. Do we have a budget? I got a budget. It was above $90. Of course. I went, I got the decorations.

I used my merchandise credit and I'm going to get expense back for that. You're fired. So that was awesome for me. Did you say the thing? What is she talking about? Am I crazy to think that she's like alienating me? Alienating me?

Well, me. So yeah, so for me, this week is really good company-wise and personally. My position in the company. Okay. Well, that was probably, yeah, of the two, maybe the better company report. Okay. That's not nice. It's not unkind.

No, it is unkind. That's exactly what it is. Really? I'm sorry, Rochelle. Did you take offense or did you kind of dissociate? I honestly don't know what you guys are talking about. We should do a head go. Did you take offense or did you kind of dissociate?

I honestly don't know what you guys are talking about. We should do a head go. We should do an episode where you just make amends. That's really funny. You know, is there like a day of atonement? Yom Kippur. Really? Yeah, it happened three weeks ago. Wait, really?

This? Okay, so we'll have to wait a whole other year. That's a whole other year to rack up wrongdoings. You could do your own Yom Kippur. Jeff Kippur. Let's do it. Yom Jeff. What about Yom Zed?

Dome Jeff. Dome Jeff is my day of atonement. Plus atone. Adonement. Amir, company report. You're technically still an owner or did you sell your stake slash stock he still stake

and if you haven't yet why not then everything's going well yeah except for a few things obviously there are a few cancers within the company and I'm wondering who they are that's mostly Jeff yeah Yeah, he means Jeff.

Yeah, but it's also Angie because she was born on July 9th. What's wrong with that? She's a cancer. Nice. I didn't get that. I'm usually pretty quick to the joke so I think I'm slipping in my old age. Astrology is more of a young man's game. Yeah, but

just the fact that I didn't get the joke and everybody else did. It's like earlier when you thought I thought Marika went to Divergent University. No, I didn't think that. Marika, company report. My, I don't know. I'm doing a lot of stuff.

I'm doing work right now. She's like too busy to make a joke. Do you think I'm going to get in trouble for the Party City thing? I think that's a good thing. Is that a scam? Did I scam the company? No. I think you're fine.

I mean, I'll obviously send that clip to Cohen, but other than that. I think your white whale, your Moby Dick Jeff is getting Cohen on this show because he refuses to do it. Yeah but for him it's like a non-starter. He's like I will never do it and it's plain and it's not like a bit. Like Angie didn't want to do it but we got her. Yeah like some people are playful about not wanting to do it. He's like very like

That's why you gotta try harder. Here's what we'll also say is that Shackle is no more. Yeah. That's sort of a company report. Oh, because you changed your last name. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted people to think she got fired.

But yeah, no. Shackle is now Masa. It's like a restaurant banner. Shackle is now Masa. Same management. Same management. Angie's list is now just Angie. Angie Garcia's list.

I keep feeling like you're doxing these people by saying their last names, but. Yeah, right? I don't know why. It just feels wrong. Website, I think. Oh, yeah. I should probably update a lot of people's names. This just in.

Breaking news. Shackles Masa. You're confused. I really want to have masa, not shackle, on again to wax all things cornmeal. That's after you get through the rice and you go to corn. Cornmeal. What about unicorn as your costume? I just am worried I'll be propositioned too many times tomorrow night. You'll have like a horn. At the company

happy hour that starts at 4pm? I don't know. That's mostly children. That's mostly coupled people. Are you wearing a costume? Mostly cuckold people. Exactly right. And I'm going to be the unicorn cuck. Unicorn on the cob is the complete costume. That's not bad at all. I did think about just being corn.

Oh. Like corn kid? The kind where you just like put a giant felt costume over your body. The kind where I roll in raw egg and then corn. What? You know how when you're trying to like fry a chicken? Yeah, like a

schnitzel. In a way. Put an egg and then like rub it in cornmeal and then deep fry it. I don't mind that as a costume. He's saying cornmeal, but he said corn first. But what if it's not even a costume for tomorrow? I guess that's what's more interesting to me. Did you have anything planned for this episode? Because so far we've been 48 minutes of wax.

That's not a plan so much. Okay, well, I tried. I tried to talk more about the company. I tried to make it not so much random shit. I tried to say let's talk about HeadGum and where we're headed. Are we headed towards the red or towards the black? Nobody cares. Say what you mean, Marika.

Where did that come from? You've been supportive all hour. Jeff, are you coming tomorrow? Where is this coming from, Marika? I am. I feel like you're not going to show up. Yeah, it does get that vibe. Yeah.

He'll text us at six and be like, hey, sorry, I'm running late because I had to do X, Y, and Z. Yeah, like my accountant died and I had to. Yeah. Little do we know, Rochelle assassinated him or her. Do you think if Rochelle killed my ass, she would be revered as a hero? Statue in the parking lot, etc. I would hope so. Yeah.

I think we should put a statue in the parking lot of someone regardless. Wait, great idea. Let's vote on who it should be. All hands for Jeff? Raise your hand for Jeff. I kind of think it's gotta be d oh that's good is d still alive yeah yeah last i saw her see marty's dog oh delilah yeah yeah she's like she's alive all right last question this is just um would you rather this is a real genuine would you rather that i was talking with my friends about the other day would you rather have every statue come to life in the world and the personality

slash energy they bring is the energy and personality of what the statue is so if there's like a statue of like mars like the roman god that's going to be a god of war coming to life but these statues can't leave like a half mile radius of themselves or would you rather every board your favorite restaurant oh my god forgive me for trying to put some levity to this. God forgive me, he said. Pa or give me. Or would you rather every bug in the world be three times as, or sorry, ten times as big? Obviously, that one is awful.

That's a non-starter to have ants the size of dogs everywhere. They would infest all of America. Well, my question is like numbers-wise, right? ants the size of dogs everywhere they would infest all of America. Well, my question is like numbers wise, right? So, like, let's not follow Amir's logic too quickly. Let's all form our own opinions. Imagine termite the size of a fucking throw pillow.

Termites are small. They're like this big. You said 10x. Yes, fine. But, let me talk to you about this shit there's already tarantulas this big he's just doing this fucking

he's just changing his mind on the stage exactly right yeah I'd rather there be a god of war that can't leave a one mile radius a fucking I don't know half mile radius yeah I mean once you put the radius around it once you put the radius around it, once you put the radius around it,

like, I feel like the worst that's gonna happen is some blocks of major cities might get a little fucked up. But we shouldn't go there, to those blocks. But that's the thing. How many statues do you think are in the world, versus how many bugs do you think are in the world? Because I think that there's, like,

millions of bugs, and I think that there's like millions of bugs. And I think that there's only like a couple hundred thousand statues. We're all saying the bug statue is worse. I just don't want anyone to be influenced by Amir just because he technically pays us all. Billions of bugs. Really? Yeah. Absolutely. Jeff's just learning this for the first time.

This just in. absolutely just just learning this for the first time this just a lot of the statue bad and racist but you could just avoid their radius yeah you can't avoid a b arguably they're probably going to be in the same like radiuses will overlap possibly with some of their enemies or big personalities that they won't get along with, and you can just, like, watch them fight it out. They just melted down one of the statues, didn't they? Robert Ely, I think. They melted it. Jeff is currently Googling.

Oh, shit. If a company sucks, should you tell the CEO honestly? What did it say? What did it say? What does it say? It says, feedback to the CEO. Directly to the CEO. Or anyone in senior leadership. Are you talking about, like, a company you work at or a company you don't like?

I just think we should. So, like, Coca-Cola, Nestle does bad stuff. You're going to tell the CEO? I just, I don't have any pull there, but I feel like I could, like, pull fucking. Nothing here. Really? No. Also, ultimately, the culture's pretty good.

Yeah, ultimately it is. Yeah. And I think that statues come into life, bugs three times the size, ten times, it doesn't matter. Because camaraderie. Have different conversations with your friends. Definitely. What should I ask about? My Instagram is at Amir.

I have a new podcast. Let's talk about it. Segments. Only on HeadGum. For sure. Marika did the podcast art for it. Jake and I have an ever-changing podcast. Every 10 or so minutes,

a completely new segment to keep things fresh and fierce. Marika did the art for it, so we appreciate that. Ferris Monshi, old HeadGum all-star for this show, too, did the theme song for it. So check that out. The theme song is great. Jeff, that's kind of what you try to do, but now they're doing it.

It's kind of like the segments of the HeadGum podcast are only a little more structure. Jake and I are on it. Friendly and on good terms. And you guys plan it. Yes, exactly. Company reports, I did plan. Company reports, I did plan. That was just two words, not really segments. I said Bob of the Week. I said Onion's boyfriend.

But you didn't ask us what our Bob's of the Week were. I said he was suave. And I said he knew how to give other people the floor when necessary. Just like 007. There's a beginning, middle, and end to everyone. Absolutely. And they helped guide the episode. There were intros.

I said, welcome to the show. Here you are. Please welcome Rochelle Chen. I said, welcome Anya Zero. I said, welcome Amin Bumifeld. Sometimes we get to the end of a segment. Sometimes it gets so derailed during the middle

we were talking about the worst thing Rochelle's ever done right and that was sort of like the emotional crux of the episode towards the end we started to get into like some more lighthearted stuff

she wants to go Rochelle wants to leave it just sounds like I have two YouTube channels sorry it's on a tab I can't find if there's a tab I can't find. What is a tab you can't find?

Everyone's laughing at you. It's an ad playing in a tab you can't find. Shit, I see that there's like an audio thing on Chrome, but I can't fucking figure out how to stop it. I have to go. I literally have to leave. Tell us why. I'm meeting somebody at 3pm.

Anya, plug. You can head out. Radio Free Anya. Big new show coming in January, right Marika? We decided January? So keep your eyes on this feed because I'll probably be back. No.

Sorry. Anya Zero will return. Yeah. It's the Anya Zero hour. Anya Zero dark face. Every hour on the hour. Rochelle, what do you got? My Instagram is at yard underscore underscore sard.

What's sard? Have you ever seen the yard sale signs that say yard sard? Oh, no. Okay. What's that? It's an old meme. Aging a mirror yet again. And not looking at me.

And my Bond of the Week is Jeff Spunn. You can't say that. That's where I draw the line. Jeff is a man bun. It's nice. And imagine if that man bun was a man bond. You ain't shit. Man bun.

You ain't shit. See how you're nothing. Marika, take us home. Take us home. Marika, listen to segments. Take us home. Follow me. Brownlees.

I'm Marika Elan. Libra Dome. All of the social media. Sorry. High school Thailand. The U-Chicago. Reggae. Libra Dome. High school Thailand. U Chicago. Reggae.

I'm here. Sorry, Marika, what do you got? I already fucking said it, so it doesn't matter. We're free. I gotta pee. At Jeffrey James on Instagram. We'll see you guys again next week. Was that even 45 minutes? That was an hour and a half.

Jesus Christ. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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