The Headgum Podcast - 188: 36 Geofftions (w/ Miles Bonsignore!)

Episode Date: January 19, 2024

Miles Bonsignore (Perfect Person podcast) joins Casey, Brad, Will, and Geoff to answer the "36 Geofftions" that lead to love. Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. I was really banking on a Lance Armstrong. That's good. Like a Viking clip. That's a good one. Or a Ryder Strong. Kind of trying to throw us off.

Did you say Ryder Strong, Amir? I almost did Ryder Strong. Yeah. Yeah, you almost did, but you didn't. You did Danny Strong, who nobody's heard of. I didn't think anybody fucking know Ryder Strong. Of course I know Ryder Strong. From Boy Meets World?

Exactly, Sean Hunter. I actually almost did a whole... Yeah, you almost did a lot of good strong. But he did not. And you still did Brenda song. That was a test. In first. That was a test, Bradley.

All right, let's move on. Yes. Everything's right in the world. No. All right, let's move on. Yes. Everything's right in the world. No. No. That was Name That Strong. So is, like, not turning the AC on, like, part of the show? Come on.

Come on. I can't see Brad. Yeah, we can't see Brad. Let's get it started and hot! Let's get it started and hot! New studio paint color. It's no cola. It's no terracotta, but it is charcoal. It's black.

Speaking of cola, I am having an iced Coca-Cola. Is that iced Coca-Cola? It's not coffee? Well, I was going for a hot coffee. We didn't have any hot coffee, so I went for an iced Coca-Cola. You know we have cold brew on draft. Your unfinished chips are here if you want them. Thank you. Well, cold brew sometimes sends me a shiver through me

timbers. It's the same as coffee. No, but the iced nature of it and the concentrated nature of it really makes me sort of get sent off on a wild goose chase of my own tail. Of your own design. Yeah. So I went for the Coca-Cola as a special little Friday treat.

Yeah. I wonder if this becomes one of those shows where, like, the host talks for, like, five minutes and then the guest gets to say something. Because I feel like I'm already getting steamrolled by specifically Will. You asked one question, two miles. He answered it. Okay. And now you're talking about getting steamrolled by will by will who hasn't talked and and you know we're changing we're working on the new camera angles

here in the studio and right now what i have set up okay has it so when i talk to jeff i can see just one eye looking at me that's great in between the camera yeah that's incredible and i love that there's three professional-grade studio cameras and then Jeff's still rocking the GoPro. No lighting on me, by the way, because this is the only show where the producer really is kind of shown constantly. You choose to sit over there.

Exactly right. Just so I don't have to edit the multicam session later. We've got Will Conover on the sax, Brad Hild on the fax, Miles Bonsignore bringing up the rear, and Casey Donahue for good measure. Sure. Sounds a lot like popcorn. It's going to be mixed high quality, so the audience isn't going to,

it's just going to sound like applause, and then it's going to be you saying it. I know, but just the applause sounds a lot like, like popcorn popping. Can I play a song, a sound that's going to make you feel more comfortable, Miles? Is it going to be loud? Yeah.

Is it going to be this? So, that's a sound effect, yeah, that I use on my show, Perfect Person, that everyone can check out. We plug in stuff?

That everyone can check out. It's a HeadGum show. It's a Call Advice show and I'd love if you'd come on over and tune on in. Jeff's turning off the cameras. What are you doing? It wasn't framed up exactly

right. I didn't frame it up. You have to stop moving the cameras without unlocking the pan and the tilt on the tripod. William Miller is what you're trying to get at. Not just without unlocking. I'm moving the William Miller. I hate the one eye. It really feels threatening

now. It's like Mad-Eye Moody. Talking away from the mic. Just turned 360. Well, I can't see them unless I turn around. Turned 180 degrees away from the microphone and then said something into the wall. Oh. I wanted to get straight to Will's favorite segment, Bond of the Week.

Let's start with Will. Who's going to be next Bond? Yeah. You don't know what it is? You said you hated this segment. I just don't pay attention. How does it work again? Super Mario? Mario Batali? I just don't pay attention. How does it work again? Oh, sure.

Super Mario? Mario Batali? Yeah, Super Mario. No, Super Mario. Mario Batali? Super Mario. Mario Mario. All right.

Mario Mario. Nice. Brad? Luigi Mario! Whoa. Is that Luigi's first and last name to you? Yes. Mario Mario and his brother Luigi Mario. Is that Luigi's first and last name to you? Yes, Mario Mario And his brother Luigi Mario

Is that true? That is true And then there's Wario Wario And Waluigi Wario Who came up with this shit? I think Japan I think Baby Bowser would be a good 007 The country of Japan?

Yeah Um Okay Okay I think Baby Bowser would be a good 007. The country of Japan? Yeah. Okay. Casey? Bond of the Week. My Bond of the Week is Will Bondover. Because Will Conover and I will bond over. All right. Has this already been done on the show, Miles Bond Senior?

We have. I like that a lot. You didn't like it when I said it. I back it up. I think that's great. You do back it up. I saw you in the club the other day. Thank you. For noticing. How's everybody feeling today? I feel like everybody's on different wavelengths.

Feeling good. Got some editing done. I had a car accident yesterday. I did get into a car accident yesterday but I'm okay thankfully oh my god it was crazy it was right before the head gum Mario Kart live stream and you still made it and I gunned

it to the studio and I said he was hit with a blue shell I got hit from behind by baby Goomba no a guy I got hit from behind by baby Goomba. No, a guy peeled out in front of me. Fucker came out of nowhere.

It sounds a lot like I wasn't paying attention, but the guy peeled across several lanes of traffic in front of me, and I hit his back corner of his car because he was trying to get ahead of me and make this turn, and then I was like, fuck. And I stopped, turned on my hazards, got out of the car to be like, let's check on this guy, make sure he's okay, and also see if his car's okay. I hit him, and then he just

kept driving. And we should say that when you showed up to the studio, you said, I got hit by a car. Well, it was a hit and run, but I hit him and he ran. Because I think he was either drunk or didn't have a license. Or you were brandishing a car. Well, it was a hit and run, but I hit him and he ran. Because I think he was either drunk or didn't have a license or... Or you were brandishing a gun. I did not have anything like that.

I had my pro Nintendo Switch controller, though. Okay. Which he might have been intimidated by. Sure. I was holding it. How were you brandishing it? Yeah. I was holding it like a gun.

Souring the mood with that With the sound effect? I'm applauding your story Here's what happened, everyone laughed And right at the, what's the opposite of apex? At the tail end At the tail end of the laughing You played the sound effects That we sat in silence

What's that? Instead of continuing the conversation, the flow of the show, Jeff chose to just completely stop it. Obliterate it. Will? How am I feeling today? Yes!

It looks like you got the HD on Zoom. You're looking great. Do I look good? I think your camera looks good. You always look good, Zoom. You're looking great. Do I look good? I think your camera looks good. You always look good, Will. You're a handsome boy. I'm doing good today. It's Friday.

It's weekend. Come on, guys. Who's ready for the weekend, right? Yeah. And it's Friday. This release is on a Friday, right? It's a Friday release. So it's a Friday when people are listening.

To the audience at home. Oh, my God. Happy Friday. It's a Friday release. So it's a Friday when people are listening. Oh my god. Happy Friday. Everybody here. Merry holiday. This one's sort of a free practice. Sure, yeah. So this one might not go out.

Oh, okay. Good to know while we're doing it. What's that? Useful. You know, Our time is valuable in that way. Do you have plans this weekend, Will? Why are you excited? No major plans. I might try and see poor things.

Is that a movie or are you just going to go stare at damned souls on the street? Damn souls. No, it's a movie. Emma Stone. It's a movie. It looks good of her i like her i like her i like her too if you guys like this is the show is what are you doing this weekend

well jeff jeff jeff has weird energy right now's like, he'll ask a question and then quietly fold within himself. Yeah, it's really inappropriate. Inappropriate? We can't. Brad and I can't see Jeff and we can't hear the sound effects. Yeah. We're hearing everything I've ever had on the show. It's the best experience.

You can barely hear also. You can barely hear us? Oh, man. I mean, Jeff was like, every time I've done this show, Jeff is in a full-blown panic when I walk into the studio trying to get the tech to work.

And then he finally does and his mood hasn't lifted from that panic. Well, again, I resent the fact that it's always pinned on me that the tech doesn't work. We're in the middle of building out another studio.

Tech works perfectly. I think everyone's done a really good job except for you. Jeff, do me a favor and hit the... The whoa? No. Hit the no. You see the microphone on the Zoom with the arrow pointed up? I want to see if we're giving them the right audio.

Okay, we are. You're definitely not. We're giving you the right audio. Okay, we are. You're definitely not. We're giving you the right audio, but my best guess is Jeff, like, turned the volume down on the mic. Turned the volume down on the mic? We don't have to keep doing this. We have to make sure the levels don't peak.

This is all going in, right? This is all staying. This is all good content. Yeah. Okay. Brad, what are you excited for for the weekend? How do you feel right now? Bass.

Woo! Round of applause for that. It was awesome. Brad, I got to say your hat and jacket combo is really cool. I like the cream tone. Is that better? Is that better? I'm in a creamy mood today. I really the cream tone. Is that better? Is that better? I'm in a creamy mood today.

I really like it. What does that mean? I got in trouble for saying that last night on the live stream. You did? I said I was going to cream everybody. That's not what I said. You said you were going to cream their asses.

I said I was going to cream Rochelle's ass. Yeah, right. That she was going to go down, and I do regret that. That's where you went wrong. You're not allowed to say that. I meant nothing by it. You can't say that. You going to go down, and I do regret that. That's where you went wrong. You're not allowed to say that. I meant nothing by it. You can't say that.

But I regret it instantly. Absolutely can't say that. You need to mean what you say. And say what I do mean to say. Don't look at me. Through the one eye. There's mad-eye Moody, and then there's sad-eye Jeff.

Casey, what are you looking forward to? This weekend? How do you feel right now, I said. Oh. What am I looking forward to? This weekend? How do you feel right now, I said. Oh. What am I looking forward to? How I feel right now. So. I feel pretty good.

It's Friday after all. I have no plans this weekend. And I kind of like that. I kind of like going into a weekend with nothing on the docket. And I could do whatever I want really that's freeing miles is on his phone sorry i had an important call how'd it go it was it was really good this show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Guys, if you had an extra hour in your day, how would you spend it? Because I would absolutely fix all of my problems with the extra hour. That's the issue, is that there aren't 25 hours in the day, so I can't become a better version of me. Does that make sense? But maybe you would want to go for a run or go for a nap or go for reading a book. Because a lot of us spend our times wishing that we had more time in our day. And the question is time for what?

Because if time was unlimited, how you would use it would infer your mental health and your happiness and your joy. The best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and make it a priority. Therapy can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it. I'm in therapy every week. I've definitely benefited from it and I would highly recommend it to anybody who has access to it. And BetterHelp makes it easier. So if you're thinking of giving therapy a try, start with BetterHelp.

It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Learn to make time for what makes you happy for what makes you get joy with BetterHelp.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash whatsthat today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash whatsthat. Thanks, BetterHelp. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day,

like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe. And their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands. I like to drink it first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water, I'll have my AG1, and then I'll have my coffee. And it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free

one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. Holy shit. And we're back. I think that's a lawsuit. I think you should have a lawsuit. Now we can hear. Oh my God. Now we can hear. Julia Roberts dished on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen. She said that the hardest drug she's ever tried was?

Take a guess. Weed. Shrooms. Correct. Shrooms. Let's go. It was shrooms? It was mushrooms.

It was psilocybin mushrooms. Everybody um what's the artist of the pelican breed oh we gotta figure this shit out guys it's hard when i have will gone over on the show and again it's i can't see him either so again it feels like he's right behind me right here over my shoulder just be like was it on the set of pelican brief well i have there's no reason why you can't you have the monitor right in front of you yeah you should be able to be able to see them you can duplicate the monitor if i duplicate and mirror them then i then you guys see me pressing the fucking sounds. I want it to be a surprise.

I have a clip I'd like to set up. This is... I really am not sure about the clip you're going to set up. This is a conversation with myself post-shower from the Jeffrey James Vimeo. How do you find the shit, man? No, this is... It looks like Jeffrey's younger.

This is from seven years ago. This was an assignment for film school. This was an assignment for film school, and I just want to tee up the clip. Jeff, do you want to say anything about the clip before we play it? Just that I'm already embarrassed that this is about to be played.

Do you want me to play it on that? Yeah, I would love if you could play it for everybody. I mean, I don't want to play it for anybody, but just because you went through the effort of finding it, Every time I join the show, I like to bring a little bit of a segment of my own you like to embarrass me publicly and physically at jeff's expense and i think sometimes just forgets that everything is googleable last time of course i brought a very intimate emotional interview with jeff yeah um where he said that he plays comedy like a guitar. Like a glove, I said.

Like a glove. I wear it like a guitar and I play it like a glove. Yeah, so I'm really excited about this clip and everyone please check out Jeffrey James' Vimeo for a conversation with myself post-shower. And the good thing is that everything will be scrubbed by the time the episode comes out.

Here we go. Alright, here we go. go conversation with myself post shower can't hear i can't hear anything well thanks so much for we won't be able to sitting down and this is just jeffrey and i can see that he's got some uh wine bottles in his in his college dorm in the back there is that what is that is that sweet vermouth jeff this says samsung the frame why like this how is it my fault that it's not playing out of this i did everything like and i guess like my question is what you're over 100 episodes of the show right almost 200 yeah it's an honor oh this used to be my favorite podcast. This is so fucked up.

Yeah. All right, here we go. Well, thanks so much for sitting down to talk with me for an interview, Showered Me. I know you got a lot going on, so it's an honor. A privilege, rather. Sure. No problem, pre-showered Jeff. But let's just make this as quick as possible.

I actually have an appointment. Can you pause? Yeah, let's just pause for a second. I just want to know what the mood was like in the class when you showed this. Utter silence, of course. It was kind of akin to the studio of today. I don't remember what the assignment was. I do know that I didn't follow the rules.

The assignment was document a pretty picture outside or something. Film a flower. This is what I screamed. I'm afraid that this is going to take an inappropriate amount of time. What? Look, I only agreed to this because I thought So let's get right into it, shall we? Fine.

So. Tell me. There's another note. Jeff, I got a note. It's not even fun to watch in this forum. It's actually just an angel. Well, I can't imagine what forum it would be fun to watch. To get a fucking B plus in the class.

Sure. Yeah. Sure. My note is a performance note. Yeah. Which is? I think you've gotten better. I think so, too.

In seven years. Yeah, I think so, too. In seven years, I would hope so. I can see the seeds of Jeff the performer in here, but it's not quite blossoming. It's not there there. Tell you what. Jeff? Yep?

About the shower. No, no, no, no, no. Don't just say about the shower. Like, it's a no-brainer. Now I'm just blowing smoke, so I will just... We can't keep doing this. Is this a rough cut cut or this is the final this is before I did my editing

practicum this is before I learned that you're supposed to edit around the emotional apex of the scene well that's yeah that's all you need that's all I needed I think I got an A in that class actually it wasn't hard

it was film school just giving degrees away. Do you want to see how it ends? Do you want to see what? The whole thing ends with me asking myself if I masturbated in the shower. Anyway. Well, that really made me want to kill myself.

We have to take another break. I don't know what else to say. We didn't... Public. That'll be cut out, but I will keep in that I talked something you didn't want me to say. I mean, here we are yet again. I guess we should head into our first segment, right?

You didn't even ask Brad and Will what they thought about the video. Yeah. What did you guys... We're all chiming in. It felt like they didn't have anything to say will what they thought about the video. Yeah, what did you guys you were all chiming in? It felt like they didn't have anything to say which is There's a great shirt on it you gotta check out Jeff That's an amazing shirt shirt yeah a magician like reveal while we were all watching the video you were understanding where our eyes were so really I did chime in on the video yeah

really this is actually merch we're working on for the the Hill Kings podcast. Sold. On the back right there. Hill Kings podcast. That's awesome. I like that a lot. Yeah, really good. Thanks. Yeah, tune in. I'll buy one. My dad certainly will.

Oh, wow. Jesus. A third break. No way. Ten seconds? You don't have that many ads It's gonna be bars and tone Right now I'll tell you that That is an assault

New name alert Uh oh Uh oh Uh oh Call me Damien Sounder who damien is the first name the last name is sounder okay sounder i hardly know her come on that's really come on i like that thanks stop Stop. What?

What was that grin, man? So fucked up. You're like looking at me like, what do you want from me? It's typing. He's typing on his computer now. He's embarrassed, I guess. He's pulling something up.

What are you pulling up? Welcome to... Casey, do you want to say the name of the game? Okay, I'll guess. You know exactly what it is. Let's hear it. It's so long and loud. It's either the price is kites or the kite is rice. The price is rice. The kite is rice. The kite is rice. The price is rice. The kite is rice.

The kite is rice. Welcome to the kite is right. Right. Okay, right. Okay. It was a great opportunity to do a rice thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Could have been really good. I don't think it would have been. I think if I had had done that, you guys would've been like, had different complaints. This is the price of kites. The price of kites? I thought it was the kite is price. It doesn't fucking matter! We're banking episodes, man! The price is kites.

This is the price of kites. It's the price is right of kites. So basically, we're going to all put in our guess. Price is right rules. For how much we think these kites cost. Closest without going over, right? Yeah. Closest without going over.

Exactly right. Brad, Will, do you guys think you know the market price of kites? A hundred percent. Yes. I've never seen you more confident than anything. Other than that, I suck. I'm a slightly less sure, but I'm willing to give it a go. Will is the optimist that we all need on this show.

He might need to be more of sorry I wasn't anywhere close to done why not Will is the optimist that the show didn't beg for but needed like my eyes need radioactive frequency therapy

I got my eyes zapped by a rod last Friday LASIK? Worse. A cattle prod? More like a cattle prod, just underneath the eyes. Why? Basically it's a way to stimulate the collagen underneath your eyelids

to kind of regenerate dead tear glands. So you know, topical anesthetic jelly that wears off after a couple seconds so it works for a while. It feels like a nice eye massage. Zap! Your ass is out of the chair.

You're wondering why they didn't warn you that it was going to be painful. Why did you, do you not have tear glands? I'm losing my lipid glands. So. What does that mean? Like, is that. The price is kite. What do we all think this kite is priced?

You can't reveal compromising medical information and then try to pivot into a segment you guys weaseled your way into a hippo violation of my ass i don't appreciate it so let's get into the game show okay all right this kite is 1299 the kite that's that's the kite that we're guessing. There's a lot of other ones for the game. $12.99. Why is it so small? Yeah, thank you. Okay, Casey's guess is $12.99. Miles? Come on! $14.

$14? Wow! It's a $24.99. Will? $24.99. All right. Will? $9.99. Will nailed it!

What the fuck, Conover? Are you reverse image searching, man? I wish. I wish I could see the image that clearly. That's insane! I don see the image of that clearly. That's insane! I don't think it's that insane. I think $9.99 makes sense for like a hybrid standard price. What's that?

I think that's crazy. Will is winning with $9.99. Not that. You get that many points? Well, isn't that the thing? It's like you get the price of the item in cash on the game? I like i get the item right no i think isn't it just to move on to the next round at the end you do all the will's the only one who moves on yeah now he's gotta go play like let's just all move on oh okay uh okay. Here we go. From this segment.

Yep. Really good segment, man. This is awesome. Oh, shit. You got to do at least two. Here we go. This is a kite surfing kite. So a little bit of context there. What do we think this is priced at?

It's hard to tell the size of this. Is this meant to carry a human in the air? It's meant to keep someone surfing at their will. $279. Okay. Why are you mad at that? You're out of the game. You're out of the game.

If you get that far off, you're out of the game. No way. I'm sorry. Go wait in the kitchen, Miles. I'm going to go wait in the kitchen. If you're far off. Thank you out of the game. No way. I'm sorry. Go wait in the kitchen, Miles. I'm going to go wait in the kitchen. Thank you so much, Miles. No one else.

Well, if anyone else has that bad of a guess, maybe, but I think they're all in line. But if I guess badly, I get to get out of the game? Yeah. This is a million dollar kite. A million dollar kite. A million dollar kite Million dollar kite Yeah that's

That's pretty wrong So actually I think Miles is back in Because Casey's was so off What Well we're grading on a sliding scale Well I figured action sports kites Gotta be pricey

So they know they're made of Yeah There's never been more of a dud There's never been more of a dud. There's never been more of a dud on this show. We're moving on. There was a lot more of these. Wait, I didn't get to guess. I didn't get to guess.

Oh, my God. I wanted to guess. He just went through a whole bunch. That looked like a prism design. Why did you put this as a spoiler? I knew that one. He got too nervous. He got spooked for the segments. People with the wrong guesses.

We have to move on because the next segment is going to take a while. Oh my god. By the way, that's not what the guests want to hear. They don't want to hear the segments going to be really long. long are you guys familiar with the 36 questions that lead to love new york times really shit yeah yeah i've done them on a couple different podcasts about okay well i sort of created my own. And I wondered if we could get two volunteers. I mean...

I'll do it. Brad? Yeah, I'll do it. Brad and Miles? Or Brad and Will? Is it only two of us get to answer? Yeah, can Casey and I go? All right, let's just pair up then.

Let's pair up. Miles and Brad. Great. Will and Casey. Great. Here we go. First question. And again, these are the 36 questions that lead to love, and Casey. Great. Here we go. First question. And again, these are the 36 questions that lead to love Jeff edition.

Yeah. Number one. I'm sorry. How are we teams? Not so much teams, more like partner up. Because like the question. How are we to fall in love at the end of it? Got it.

In a way, at the very least. So Miles and I are collectively trying to fall in love with Casey and Will. Those are the two people. I like that. Or Casey and I are trying to fall in love quicker or harder than Miles and Brad. It's competitive. I think, let's make it competitive. This is basically the semifinals, right?

So, it's going to be Miles and Brad, and then whoever falls in love the hardest between the two of you moves on to face the winner of Will versus Cassie So they have a bye round What's that? It's Casey Yeah It's Cassie

The 36 Jeffstons What's that? Yeah, the 36 Jeffstons, that's really good Okay, here we go, one Well, okay, let's start, this has got to be rapid fire, guys, because we're already fucking, what, 20 minutes into this shit? Are there 36? There are 36 Oh my god There are 36, but there's a catch after the 24th so we'll see how you guys answer

that and that might decide this that might decide the winner of the fucking championship so the first round let's go one by one so this is going to be miles and brad number one ask each other this question uh actually you know what you're asking the question though don't tell me to ask the question i don't know what the question is okay wait you know what? You're asking the question, though. Don't tell me to ask the question. I don't know what the question is. Okay, wait. You know what? That's a good question. That's a good point.

I'm sending the first set to Miles over text, and Miles will ask Brad to... Yeah, okay. So here we go. Here we go. Miles, you ready? It just went through. It just went through, so I don't have it yet. So there you go.

It's not on my phone. There we go. Okay. I don't know where my phone is, so you can't do this for me. Well, number one, given the choice of any time in the world, when would you want someone as a dinner guest?

When would I want someone as a dinner guest? Can you repeat the question? That was too fast. Given the choice of any time in the world, when would you want someone as a dinner guest? Dinner time. That's really good. By the way, I'll be the judge of who's falling in love the hardest.

I think a 7 p.m. is good, yeah. I'm going to give that one to Brad. That's one to Brad. I asked the question. Right, but he asked it back to you. But Brad fell more in love with you than you fell in love with Brad. Are you not getting this? What about this is confusing?

Number two, would you like to be infamous? In what way not? You're just taking the 36 questions and changing them a little bit. But no, it's the 36 questions. I didn't say it was going to be drastically different. I said it was Jeff edition. Okay, no!

We don't want to be infamous. Infamous is what? The opposite of famous? That's like being famous for something bad. More than. No, it's not. Jesse James. Was infamous.

But he was a criminal. There's a negative connotation for sure. I don't think I want to be infamous, no. Okay. And yeah. In what ways would you not want to be infamous though? I don't want to be famous for beating the shit out of someone. Okay.

Committing a crime. Do you ever beat the shit out of someone? well I don't want to be famous for it I want to beat the shit out of people I don't want to be famous no that sounds so scary to me to be honest I've never beat the shit out of anybody alright Brad

have I ever beaten the shit out of anybody? that's not bad as a second question let's have you answer that I have yeah whoa or I'm going to next time I'm in LA awesome

holy shit I'm gonna give that to Miles because Brad was violent this is sorry so I just continue asking the questions? Correct. You have the fucking list. And then, sorry,

are you going to make me and Will do all of the questions? Absolutely, let's pick up the pace, man. This is great. Why don't we just all answer at the same time? Would that be better? You're running the show. All right, let's do it all at once

Let's have Will and Casey Catch up I don't remember the first question so past Given the choice of any time in the world When would you want someone as a dinner guest Dinner time Copyed my answer Valentine's day

I'm gonna give that one to Will Cause it's not plagiarized And would you like to be infamous in what way not? Slash, have you ever beaten the shit out of anybody? I would not like to be infamous. Infamous? What's that? Is that?

That's me saying what's that. Oh, I like that. And I just got another one. You don't think you do. Number three is. No, Will didn't answer. Oh, I like that. And now I just got another one. You don't think you do. Number three is... No, Will didn't answer. Oh, sorry. No.

I want to be loved. That one's going to Will just because of the specificity and how fast he said it with the conviction. All right. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse

what you aren't going to say? Who? You're literally just changing one word. Every question. you aren't gonna say who uh no i rehearse what i am gonna say and i guess who me Me Miles? Uh, no Okay, I'm gonna give that to Brad for specificity Will, Casey? I do think sometimes I do rehearse what I'm not gonna say Like I do Think about like

How am I gonna start this call? Good day, no I should go with good morning For sure And who? The bank Will? I who? The bank. Nice. Will? Yeah.

I agree with Casey. I think sometimes I make a list. Giving it to Casey. Moving on to four. And who? Casey. Wow. You know what?

No, I'll give it to Casey. Great. All right. Number four. All right. So we're three questions in. Four. To 36.

Jesus Christ. It is nine minutes until my weekend. Let's fasten it up. All right. What would constitute a fine day for you? Brad? I guess a little bit of exercise and hanging out with friends,

listening to music or playing music. Maybe getting some dinner. Maybe going to a brewery. Maybe ordering some pizza. Playing with my dogs a little bit. Maybe we go climbing in the morning. Maybe I go on a run. Maybe I

have a little chat with Will. Maybe I chat with my boy. I would love that. Maybe we catch up. We see what's going on in New York City. We see how he's been. We see what he's been up to.

What has he been watching recently? I know that he's planning on going to maybe see a movie this weekend. Maybe we talk about how the movie was. Maybe we talk about Emma Stone movie was Maybe we talk about Emma Stone Our favorite Emma Stone films Have you been watching the rehearsal On Showtime with Nathan Fielder I'd like to know The curse

The curse See that would come up In the conversation That's what would make it fine Really It's a little bit of a moment Between friends Where you're not

afraid to correct each other because you're close like that you know you've kind of got that rapport that is a fine day and then maybe I don't know I'd get laid Miles I don't think you should even try for this one that one's going to Brad honestly I was going to say getting laid.

All right. Miles. Sorry, Will Casey. Getting laid. All right. Plagiarism. Will, what do you got? Parking tickets.

There you go. All right. That one's going to Will. First of all, the score is... Brad has got three points. And getting laid. Oh! Yeah.

Yeah. What's that? Okay, so far this is the tally Brad is in first of his challenge Oh my god And Will is winning his battle of love I leave this show with such a headache

Number five, let's hear it We gotta make this faster, guys I leave this show with such a headache. Number five. Let's hear it. We got to make this faster, guys. We got to quicken the pace. I'm sorry. You can't say that. How long was the Price is Kite going to take? It was going to be 15 minutes.

This all took too long. Price is Kite, we answered two kites, and you sped through the rest of them. I love kites. Okay, when did you last sing passive-aggressively to someone else? Last weekend. Band practice. Oh, wow.

You were like, oh, you want to play, are you singing a different key? Well, it was like they were kind of stalling a little bit, and I was ready to rehearse, you know? And I was like, come on, guys. Oh, I like that. I like that.

Miles, what do you got? Can't beat that. No, definitely can't beat that, Jeff, but I'm going to put myself in the running. Sometimes I sing to my baby in a passive-aggressive manner. And I'm like, Julian, don't grab that.

It's not for you. Hey, Jules. Don't grab that. Take a knife from a kitchen or remember to of the kitchen door remember to not

cut eyes from a door leave them in there inside of the drawer lazy Susan lazy Susan let's go into Miles

I'm sorry, Brad. Yes. Will and Casey, what do you got? I forgot the question. Moving on to five. You guys both forfeit that right. Moving on to six. If you were able to live to the age of 90

and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old woman for the last 60 years of your life, why wouldn't you want that sexist this is like so much math if you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old woman for the last 60 years of your life why wouldn't you want that sexist i think i would want that i would want that but i would want it to be in a world where equality has truly been achieved which is what i'm constantly striving for as the feminine i wouldn't want until everyone can get married i don't understand the situation so mind and body of a woman right uh or body. Oh, mind or body. Yeah. So does that mean I'm living for like 30 years in my body, my mind,

and now I have a different mind, different body? Exactly right. Like I'm just another person entirely. You're still Casey. Yeah. Well, maybe you would be. So I have my mind. You have hive mind.

Oh. That one's going to go to Will just because of what Casey's doing right now. No, I was trying to understand what you meant. Yeah, Will doesn't want it. Will doesn't want the round. Don't. No, thank you. No.

Yeah, Will doesn't want the point. I can take or leave it. I'll take it. I'm going to give it to Brad. Give it to Brad. It's my point to give. That's so fucked up. Okay, here we go.

Seven. Do you have a secret drunch about how you will die? The original question was hunch. Changing the word hunch to drunch. I guess my guess is drunch is a dreadful hunch. Yeah, I like that. A dreaded hunch. Drunk hunch. When you get drunk, youunch is a dreadful hunch. Yeah, I like that. A dreaded hunch. Drunk hunch.

When you get drunk, you have existential dread about a hunch. Well, Jeff, do you have a drunch about how you'll die? I think I'm going to be physically stabbed in the back. Yeah, absolutely. DC loved that. I wish that didn't elicit so much joy from everyone in the room. It won't be me, but it'll happen. I'll go like, of course.

Yeah. Makes sense. Makes sense. They'll stab you in the back from the front. They need rehab for personalities for me. A 12-step program to be a better guy. Yeah, your personality is caustic and you would like to change it. Exactly right.

Nails on a chalkboard, man. Your personality is caustic and you would like to change it. Exactly right. Nails on a chalkboard, man. You need to be taken out of society, placed in some nice house in Malibu or something. Yeah, exactly. I wouldn't mind that, actually. Just to better myself on a bluff.

That does sound nice, by the way. It's sort of the grad school promise. Yeah. You get to sort of escape from society and learn. Do you guys have a drunch about how you're gonna die? backflip off a motocross that's awesome I gotta give it to Miles Will, Casey what do you got? I've always hoped to be natural causes

in like old age but I've also thought that if I was to like start losing my mind I can't remember you know family family members, that sort of thing, I would probably drive into the Grand Canyon. That's pretty good.

Will, what do you got? Of boredom on this show. I'm going to give it to Casey because that hurt my feelings. Here we go. Eight. Assume three things you and your partner don't agree with. Eight? We're not even in double digits yet.

It's not my fault. You guys are dragging your goddamn feet! Okay. Eight, Miles? Alright, eight is gonna be... Hang on, sorry. I was bored, so I started playing Angry Birds. Number eight is assume three things you and your partner don't agree on. Miles, let's start with you. Assume three things we don't agree on?

Correct. Well, I leave the cabinet doors open open she doesn't care for that no not you and your partner you and brad oh brad what do you think that we don't agree on because i see that you've got a really cool um tube television in the back that takes vcrs and i'm thinking that that's really nice yeah we definitely agree on that. Yeah. I don't know. What's your stance on just kind of the entire state of the economy? It's pretty bad, right? Yeah, I agree there. Yeah. What about the monarchy?

How do you feel about the British royalty? I don't care about that at all. It sucks. No, it's not talk to this person about it. It's just state three things you think that they disagree with you on. I was going to do Casey. Do you like Tom Cruise? Because I think he's good.

I like Tom Cruise. I do too. This was a dummy episode. Miles, we actually have a lot in common. We have a lot in common, I think. You guys are getting a point for this round. Will and Casey. Will and Casey. Three things are getting a point for this round. We should hang sometime. Will and Casey, three things you...

Casey, name three things you think... Birkenstocks? That Will doesn't agree with you on. Dude, I have the same one. Sweet. I'm loving it. I think they should keep going. They're really hitting it off.

Let's move on to number nine. The whole thing was we were supposed to fall in love. Number nine. You're supposed to answer the questions and then it leads to love organically. For what in your life do you feel the least grateful? What a horrible question from a pissy guy. I'm least grateful for what? That's the question.

Being alive. Yeah. Damn. Will? The sidewalk. being alive yeah damn Will? uh the sidewalk is that cause you just take it for granted

or you actually think it's unnecessary exactly got it I just feel like it should be there so I'm not gonna worry about it Will what do you do

if you're walking down the street and the sidewalk ends but you still gotta keep going how do you feel? we keep asking these sideways questions. I think that was a really good question and on topic. Shel Silverstein style. Yeah.

I think I explore. What's that? Because then I have the whole world open. Miles, what do you got? Okay. I think I feel the least grateful for, like, pissy, shitty people that exist in my world. Yeah, me too. I feel grateful least grateful for like Pissy shitty people that exist in my You know in my world

Yeah me too I get that for sure Brad I'm probably least grateful For shitty and Pissy people Oh that's awesome Me too I agree with you guys

I hate those kinds of people No you're not in on this For sure. Do you want to do 10? Yep. I don't like how this has become me. Like, why am I reading the questions? You want to hand it to Casey?

I don't know where my phone is. I can't read the questions. Fine, I'll keep it going then. If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, why would you embarrass your parents like that by saying it on a podcast? I wouldn't change anything. They did a great job. There you go.

Yeah. Casey? I just answered. I meant to say Miles. I meant to say Miles. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

I think, why would you embarrass your parents like that By saying it on a podcast So If I could change one thing about the way I was raised This is so bad We have to be quicker We have to be quicker I know

There's like 40 more questions Whose fault do you think this is? Y'alls I created the list of questions. It's supposed to be rapid fire. I want you to say how you think this was going to go. Good. I thought it would be kind of funny.

Casey was here when I was finishing the list of questions. I was laughing out loud at the questions. Let me produce this a little bit. So if I'm producing this show and I'm like, okay, 36 questions. How long do I think as a show okay and i'm like okay 36 questions how long do i think as a producer this is going to take 36 questions four people talking yeah let's say uh it's a minute a question that's 36 minutes right there right so you need more than half the episode

available and i would know that going in like Like, okay, this is going to be 36 minutes minimum, probably closer to 45, especially if the questions are good. Yeah. And, like, people are riffing and talking, having a conversation, you know, recording a podcast. And that's where we disagree. And that's where we disagree.

I didn't want people riffing. Sorry, the mic is nowhere near enough. I didn't expect people to riff and have a good time with these questions. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Moving on to 11. Take four minutes and lie... Sorry. 11 is take...

Take four full minutes. Don't be shy. I didn't think it through. Is that what you want me to say? Obviously. I have three more episodes to do on Monday. We're just happy that you finally joined us here. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any quantity of cash, how much would that be?

I think that's kind of interesting. Because you know what? If you have a billion dollars, you might not be happy. But I think if you had $10 million, you might smile. Oh, I'd be overjoyed if I had $10 million. So what's the amount? But you want it to not be so much. No, I do want it to be a lot.

A billion, yeah. A billion. Really? A billion, yeah. If I woke up and had a billion dollars, I'd puke. Yeah, you think so? Shards? I don't know how anyone else wouldn't. Well, I guess a billion dollars.'d puke yeah you think so shards i don't know how anyone else

wouldn't well i guess a billion dollars a billion that's so much money it's but i guess what i like about a billion is that you could be like it's easy to slice it up you'd be like okay a billion all right you know what 500k let me build the coolest town in upstate new york saying this yeah i said just buy a fucking ghost town. 500K? 500,000 dollars? What do you mean by a house up there? Well, I don't know.

I want to buy a ghost town and make it like a fun place to have. You keep saying that. Okay, make sure I'm watching. 500K is one two thousandth of a billion. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it wouldn't buy a town. That's my point.

It would buy one house in the town. But a billion dollars is enough money where you know you can do the finances and figure out how much money do I need. Yeah, which is like... And then be set. I pay myself a million dollars a year for the next 60 years of my life. Okay, 60 million, that's put in a little pocket for me. Yeah. And then beyond that, all the rest is fun money.

Now I just have to like... Helicopter. I'm going to fucking... Yeah. So you just do like standard billionaire stuff. No, but I do charity for them. I do charity for a bunch of it. Buy a town.

Build fucking wells in... Go into space. Build wells in California. Is that the problem? That's not the problem. Build wells, right? That's not the problem. There's no wells, right? That's the aqueduct system. Build an oil reserve.

The rich get richer. Mile style. Exactly. All right, moving on to set two. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what mundane nonsense would you waste that wish on? A crystal ball? Oh, I have a good one for this? I have a good one for this.

Let's hear it. I want to see every photo that I've ever photobombed. That's awesome. That's good. That would be really good. Casey? Got it.

Miles? Sorry, I'm just recovering from that Number 14 Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Stop that Oh Okay Number 15

What is the greatest accomplishment So that was just a command What's that? This is a list of demands What's that? This is a list of demands It's that? This is a list of Ransom though It's a list of demands

We're hostages It's all coming together Jesus What is the greatest Accomplishment of your life? That's it? Start with Miles I don't want to be belittled

By stating what I think it is Alright, Casey I don't want to be belittled by stating what I think it is alright Casey don't say the color of the walls in the studio no it's not the color of the walls look I thought Brad we've been killing it honestly we've been killing it here we just put out

David Cross show with Bob Wood and Kurt on the same day that Doughboys put out the David Cross show with Bob Odenkirk on the same day that Doughboys put out Andy Samberg all these recorded in the HeadGum Studios and then we also did a live stream show all on the same day

so I'm actually really proud of what we're doing here me too of you sorry to sincerely answer that question. Brad? That's it. That's it? Yeah, let's all say it in unison.

That's it? That's it. Okay, what do you guys value? Sorry, this one's directed directly at Will. Why do you value friendship that's weird friendship makes life worth living all right this one's directed just at brad thank you thank you this one's directed just at brad what is your most treasured memory don't tell us. Just think about it. Moving on.

The disappointing thing is the questions have gotten better. I like these questions a lot more than the first half. There's a lot more questionnaire commentary added to it, I've noticed. When I walked to the studio Jeff was working on these and he looked at me and said

I've just made my magnum opus he did say that and he said the final part of it really ties into your show and I think you're really gonna like it and he was really proud of himself I was sitting here laughing so that's why it's like you guys are like what did you think was gonna happen I thought this was gonna be kind of fun

what is your most terrible memory, Will? Let's all answer that one. Last time I was on the HeadGum Podcast. Fuck, this sucks. Yeah, same answer for me. Yeah, that might be a unanimous. Do you guys want to say it in unison? The last time I was on the HeadGum Podcast.

It was the worst. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you tell people to elicit sympathy? No. Immediately. I don't think I would tell a soul. I would keep it to myself, and I would just live every day like it was my last.

Yeah, that's cool. Brad? Speaking of David Cross, there's a really good Mr. Show sketch about this, about getting sympathy when you're about to die. So I would do it, and I would play it off just like that sketch. Nice.

Go watch Senses Working Overtime. Organic plug. That was really good. Okay, here we go. Why doesn't friendship mean nothing to you? why doesn't friendship mean nothing to you? Why doesn't friendship mean nothing to you? It's a double negative.

Yep. What is he saying? I don't know. I wonder that a lot with him. It is honestly kind of a repeat of the question that was just for me. It's basically what does friendship mean? Yeah. Which is the actual question.

Magnum opus. What roles do love and affection play in your life? That is just the question from the... That's from... Yeah, that's not a gesture.

That is the question. All right. If you guys don't have immediate answers we really are approaching an hour here sorry it takes a minute to wrap our heads around the question alternate sharing something you would consider a bad trait of your partner share a total of nine

share nine bad traits I want you to say nine bad things about Brad. Brad, same thing, reciprocate to Miles. And then Will and Cassie will exchange as well. I don't even know. I don't think I could name nine bad things about anybody because I think everyone's a pure soul.

Me too. And I think Brad is no different. Yeah. Me too. All right, here we go. Do you ever feel a sneaking suspicion that other people's families are closer and warmer than yours? Do you feel your childhood was more tragic than most?

This one's just for Casey. I've got a very supportive family. Got it. Okay, how do you feel about your relationship? This is for everybody. How do you feel about your relationship with your pastor? And then in parentheses it says, if no pastor, end conversation.

I don't have a pastor. I don't have a pastor either. Don't got one. So that's the end of the conversation. We're done. That's the end of the conversation. I'm going to list the last 12, but we're not going to answer any of them.

This is rapid fire, okay? Just so we can know. Just so we can know. Well, actually, no. I'm just going to jump ahead to the organic plug of your shit. How does it tie in? Fine, I'll say all 12. You have to say all 12? Do all 12 lead into it?

Make three vague we statements. For instance, we both in this room are feeling blank. Complete this sentence. I wish I had someone with whom I could haggle with in specific regards to having blank. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what wouldn't be important for them to know. Tell your partner what you're fine with about them of. Be very honest

this time, saying things you might not say to someone you've just met. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment that happened during this podcast. When did you last cry in front of another normal? What about a famous? Tell your partner something that you like about them already,

but that might change later. Did you cry in front of someone famous? What's that? Did you cry in front of someone famous? Yeah, he heard the question. I am curious about that, because it does seem like a personal story. I sobbed in front of George Santos,

just because I really believed him. What, if anything, is too hilarious to be serious about? If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Who cares? This is what I feel like is going on in Jeff's head. He's just spinning his wheels so he gets tired and at the end of the day he can sleep. Your house containing every... This one's a really good one. It's like a dog. This one's a really good one.

Like the dog chasing that thing that's on a string. Speaking of dogs, your house containing everything you own catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to change your mind and put your loved ones and pets back inside.

Would you do that? If I changed my mind? No, I would not do that. But it's nice of you to ask. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most financially gainful? Where?

And finally, share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how they might handle it. If their advice sucks, call in to the Perfect Person Podcast, hosted by Miles Monsignore! Yeah, baby! Everybody, everybody, let's get into it. Get started, get started, get started, get started.

Let's get it started. Ha! Let's get it started. Come on. Get it started. Get it started. Let's get it started. Ha. Let's get it started. Ha. Jesus. Plugs, what do you guys have going on? What do you want to point the people towards? Any parting wisdoms or otherwise?

Let's hear, let's start with Brad. Hill Kings podcast, a King of the Hill rewatch podcast hosted by me and a daddy from Edmond, Oklahoma, every week on YouTube. Buy our merch, too. Buy the merch. Will? Plugs? Try out chat GBT no way

that was a Hidgum Original.