The Headgum Podcast - 192: The Johnny Villa Experience

Episode Date: February 16, 2024

Johnny Villa (Pretty Wack industries) makes his triumphant return to the show to bombard the Headgum crew with deep fakes. Plus, a new (and topical) burnt rice song emerges from Geoff!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum original. and I did it. Yay me! London. Brenda Strong. That was a test. That was a test and you absolutely failed. What do you mean? The correct answer was that's not a strong. That's actually a song. And the game isn't named that song,

is it? I guess not. I was so on top of that. That's a lot of dollars to me whenever you're ready. It's not for sure. You guys got to stay up on your toes, all right? I'm trying to make these a little bit more different. I'm trying to make it so that you're not expecting what I'm throwing at you. That was a test.

Rolling audio. Rolling audio. Speeding. is it not welcome to the show sorry i thought you wanted me to take the lead what did i do or say this morning before we started recording that made you think that I wanted you to take the lead? I thought you texted me, can you sort of drive the ship this episode?

But maybe I misread that. Oh, here, join our cloud HD video meeting. So just a link. I thought it was like, yeah, steer the ship, as it were. Let's bury the lead. Yeah. I was going to say, let's bury the lead today for the audio listeners and see how long we can go without saying who the special guest is.

And don't say it'll be in this... Johnny. Johnny Villa, right? Yeah, hi, everybody. It's good to be back. Yes. It's back. Yeah. Very, very... say it'll be in this but Johnny Villa right yeah hi everybody it's good to be back yeah I miss I want to play the the everybody song no you're not allowed I know I'm not allowed to but then now do

you hear the silence do you hear like the lack of energy like it's not body everybody let's get into it. Get stoked. Get stoked. Is there like a copyright claim from UMG? Welcome back to the show, Johnny Corella J. Ville. Kind of.

Johnny Villa himself. It's good to be back once again. Thank you for finally letting me have a day. That's the best we can do. Okay. I'll take it. That's really sad, to be honest.

I would say that, John, for the audio listeners, he's dressed to the fines. Is that less than nines? Like Ralph Fiennes? Yeah, like Ralph. Rafe. Rafe is his name? Oh, okay. Now, you know, I know everybody's excited for Villa's return

to the Villa, which is what I call the New York studio, along with Studio Hate on the LA coast, and Studio Jeff. Those are the three studio names for me. I wanted to kind of lay out some ground rules for today's episode, because I feel like the past couple weeks have been ad hoc slash nauseam.

Does that make sense? And do we all agree? No, but continue. I'm not going to agree in advance. Okay. Rule number one or yeah, ground rule number one. Overlapping dialogue. What's that? I said you got to have fun.

No, that's absolutely not the first. The first rule is overlapping dialogue Which we just were doing a good job of there There we go Basically let's cut each other off a lot Does that make sense? Highly doable Okay or you love the rule

I feel like I did that a lot Oh that was really good with the rule Okay number two Jinx Let's avoid talking too much about my concussion Right? I did that a lot in the first few minutes. Oh, that was really good with the rule. Okay, number two. Jinx. Let's avoid talking too much about my concussion. Right? I feel like everybody keeps bringing it up. I don't think any of us were going to start, right?

Yeah. Yeah. It's just hard because I hit my head again. Yeah, I think regardless, it's going to be apparent that you have a concussion. But people were saying that I had brain trauma before I hit the head. Sure, right.

Sure, and there's that overlapping dialogue, so I feel like we are abiding a lot by the first rule, and I do appreciate it, but I feel like the second rule's already kind of gone back on itself because all we're talking about is the head injury. All you're talking about. Let's move on. If possible, this is rule number three,

if possible, let's switch on over to Studio G. What is that? What do you mean? It's the bigger studio in LA. I know what it is because I work for the company. Okay. And we can't do that.

You're in your house. Yeah, we thought you were going to be in studio. I know, but we could still put a pause. We could put a pause on the episode. You guys keep recording. See whatever, you know, fool's gold you come up with. And then Amir and I drive over to the studio. It would take me like 10 minutes just to get there.

I don't know. I think for Studio G, that's worth it. Oh, a cat. Jeff's real life appears. A kitty emerged. Ground rule number four, not a peep from Joel.

Unless he's staying put a lot. Staying put a lot? What do you mean by that? And I'm so glad you asked, Johnny, just for a refresher for everybody. I doled out New Year's resolutions on the first episode of the year, and I gave everybody their own resolution. Joel's was to stay put a lot. You wanted me to travel the world,

become more worldly, learn more about different cultures, but specifically not to enter Philadelphia. Oh, okay. I can abide by that rule. I think Philadelphia is a bad place. Visually, it looks like you're in the New York studio, so I think you're good.

So let's hear a lot from you. Ground rule number five. Marika is free to take the reins whenever she wants, but if she's going to, fucking give your druthers. Jesus. Can you do that? Well, I'm not going to agree to anything. What?

These are ground rules. Everybody's supposed to agree. We cannot continue the episode unless we all. We already broke a rule. I'm also not going to agree because I feel like agreement would be agreement to taking the reins, which I'm not going to do because I would rather give reins to Johnny as our special guest. That's humble of you. I really appreciate that.

Yeah, but it's also sort of, yeah. It's also sort of what? Really? It's hectic of me? The last ground rule is to enjoy the ride. Can we all just try to have fun today and not like let all of our real life

visions get in the way? I feel like the last rule of all these is always you can get up and go to the bathroom or get a drink of water at any time. And you may not ask anything. I meant to add that to the ground rules. You can't do any of those. A lot.

Joel, specifically, if you get up to use the bathroom or get can't do any of those. And you're staying put, to be clear. A lot, yeah. And Joel specifically, if you get up to use the bathroom or get a drink, if you come back, you're not allowed to speak. Because that's basically, you would be walking in the direction of Philadelphia. So anyone that breaks the rule isn't allowed to speak? Is that the case? No, just Joel.

Okay. Oh, okay then. It's not that bad. All right. Good so far right there's so much dead air from you what's that so much dead air

from you man and we've been overlapping overlapping dialogue that's part of the issue we've been doing a lot of overlapping dialogue yeah that's what I was

going to say we're doing a lot of overlapping dialogue and maybe I should have said it at the exact same time as you because then it would have been real

should we should we have a fit that's the thing that I'm actually I'm glad you brought that up Emma I've never said that the show is supposed to be or would be relaxing this is actually supposed to be an anxiety

inducing hour for people on their way to work what's your point yeah inducing hour for people on their way to work. What's your point? Yeah. Let's just go into Bond of the Week. Yeah. Johnny, who's your Bond of the Week?

Anybody except Barry Keegan. That little freak needs to stop being in movies, man. Wow. Oh! Wow, that's really cool. He's back. Yep, there it goes. I might be like, what the fuck?

Stop. Stop. I love the energy. What's with the Keegan hate though the Keegan hate I've heard that he's a little bit of a a little turd on set you wanna date Sabrina Carpenter

I do wanna date Sabrina Carpenter he's dating Sabrina Carpenter? he's having her yeah stuff like that shouldn't be allowed also as a child he was fetal alcohol syndrome or why would you ask that just let's keep it on johnny let's keep it on johnny the return yeah what the hell is your problem i have a lot what the hell is wrong with

you i know right you have a lot keep it on Johnny's return. Who's Sabrina Carpenter? She's a Disney Channel star. She's a Disney pop star. Grow young. Your whole New Year's resolution I gave you was embody young, and you don't know who Sabrina Carpenter is? It's been six weeks. She's talking nonsense.

That whole Joshua Bassett, Olivia Rodrigo thing. Oh, really? That's the only reason I know her. That was also the only reason I know her. Wow. Yeah. Emma, would you say that the only reason I know her. That was also the only reason I know her. Wow. Yeah. Emma, would you say that she was mother during that? No.

I wouldn't say she's mother at all. Sorry. Is S.E. Cup zombie? I still think we should get merch that says that. Alright. Marika, Joel says that. All right. Marika, Joel, Emma. Buddy healed.

Because? Interesting. Because he just violated the one rule that I can't. He entered Philadelphia. That makes him worthy of James. He snuck in undetected. You're jealous. Beat your censors.

I feel like you're really not getting... The rule isn't that nobody can go to Philadelphia. I would love if people go to Philadelphia. The rule is that you need to stay put a lot, which entails traveling the world, just not to Western. Do you guys prefer Philadelphia or Boston? Just by a show of hands, Philadelphia.

I was raising our hand. No way. Like Boston. We're split. I'm sorry. Wow, two Boston, two No way. We're split. Wow, two Boston, two Philly. A house divided. That must suck to see and hear. I mean, we still won the popular vote.

Yeah. But the fact that it was that close was kind of embarrassing. Johnny gets like eight delegates. I've been gerrymandering. Yeah. My Bond of the Week is Michael Shannon. Okay. Honey gets like eight delegates. He is Austin. I've been gerrymandering. My Bond of the Week is Michael Shannon. Michael Shea? Shannon.

Michael Shea, did you say? Yeah, minus Michael Shea too. You don't have to say two because that wasn't mine. I was going to Shea Michael, yeah. I was going to Shea Michael, Shannon. Emma? Rose Foley? My Bond of the Week was going to say Michael. Shannon. Yeah. Emma? Rose Foley? My Bond of the Week is going to be,

I didn't know how much I was going to be participating. It's by therapist. I just came from therapy because I'm feeling better than I ever do when I record the podcast. Whoa, awesome. Okay, so that's actually following in line with this resolution that I doled out. Oh, that's true. I'm only medium upset that it's a beautiful day outside

and I'm fucking here. It really is. To be fair, it's like 3.30. Yeah. I know, but I could be like... Sunset's early these days. Yeah, taking a walk, We're going to have an hour left of daylight

by the time we get out of here. Well, you guys haven't seen the episode yet. Hopefully. This is still like the intro. This is still the wax portion, so you don't know how much... No, we got to speed stuff up. We have to enjoy the ride um i would say um michael shea is that weird to say oh i was

gonna say michael as well yeah um what about shane mitchell maybe dan and shay uh either that or maharishi mahesh yogi founder of Transcendental Meditation, because it's time for a James Calm. Either that or... Either Michael Shea or Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Isn't Transcendental Meditation a scam? It is, but I just think it's time for a James Calm. My friend paid like $3,000 just for them to tell him the word

that he could use to repeat as his mantra. $3,000? I believe so. Is the word that he could use to repeat as his mantra. $3,000? I believe so. Is this for real? Don't you kind of want to know what your word is? I would love to know what my word is. I also wanted to know what his word was. I'll tell you for half that.

Yeah. What is it, then? You have to pay the piper. Gullible, I guess. I don't know. Nice. Fuck. You want me to chant gullible?

Oh, I didn't say that. Can you guys see this video? Yeah. Young woman holding two pistols. Young woman. She's a seven-year-old girl. You're holding a firearm. You're a woman to me Thank you

It looks like the swamps of Georgia Oh my god This is a demon How come she gets to vote And I don't That's so loud Do we need the volume? I feel like we don't need the sound on this right

she has pretty terrible trigger discipline she's using two fingers on it come on right there that look yeah Marika style that was what

that was it that was what you chose to show that clip for that was Johnny's test image that's so fucked up I'd never shoot a gun like that it was so strapped up you know what I mean

no how do you shoot a gun not like that carefully and then all at once. Can you say that in an entire sentence, Marika, as if you were on like 60 Minutes? What's the host's name of 60 Minutes? Carl. What?

Sagan? No. Shay? No. He's in charge of sending that time capsule to the future to space. I thought Carl Sagan was the guy from Wait, Wait, Don't Sell Me. No, he's the guy who's like billions and billions of atoms. He's that guy.

Yeah, he had to choose what documents, sounds, smells, items would best represent humanity if they were found thousands of years from now by aliens. Kind of interesting if you think about it. Marika co-wrote the first verse. Wow. Okay, I'm stepping into the shot. You've got a hot walk. Is it hot enough to burn all these grains?

Maybe we could make them sear. Maybe together we can ruin some rice. Hoisin makes it wetter. Adding soy seeds and various oils. When you're done scorching grains, the rice should be unrecognizable. Your singing voice has gotten better. You've been doing this so many times.

You've just been practicing, essentially. You've got a patty. A patty's a field in which they grow rice. Imagine farm to table char. To own a patty is a dream of mine. Most rice is grown in sand. Just kidding, that's its consistency. Rice is grown underwater.

That's when rice is furthest from good. Yeah, it's reasonable. Right? You guys can sing along if you know the words. You see, my old man's got a problem. He serves basmati that is nice and soft. He says no one else dislikes his rice.

I say his way of cooking rice is wrong and bad. My mama went off and left him. Actually, I'm lying. They're still together. But if I had my druthers, my mom would cheat on him with tons of rice. I'm glad we finally brought it back to marrying rice. God, he's got the rest of the tale.

The first time I scalded rice, I was shocked to learn that I'd attained a sear. There's nothing like that first damage. As you cauterize grains, the sear is thus. Where's the chorus? It's frustrating. I remember it was surprising when I made rice char. Bomba so burnt I felt like I was drunk.

Goju Jane grobbed onto grains in the pan blazed red till the fire alarm went off and I watched as white rice turned black and gross. And I had a feeling that I conserved the dish. As a side, as a host. My lyric was in rye-yice. That would have been much better. That would have been awesome. Yeah, it gave it to you. You got a fast car.

You invited me to get into your fast car, and I brought a hot plate. And I jokingly said, what if I burn rice? You vehemently said, no way. As I pulled out a bag of high-cost grains and I quickly torched pricey rice in the passenger seat as you frowned the whole drive. So that's like you're plugging it in in the little gas

thing. I zoned out like two verses ago. And I remember that rice was writhing when I made rice char. Power boiled so black I felt like I was drunk. Chili paste folded into scraps. And the pan burned hot till the house caught fire. And I, I washed this jasmine side into sand.

And I, I had a feeling that I could serve singed brown rice to a crowd at a wake. You don't have to play the soundboard. We're really clapping this time. We're actually proud of you. We haven't had an actual Rice song in a while. We had Grace Harper forcing me to sing a song I didn't know. No. Karaoke, yeah.

No. It was an attack, yeah. Yeah. Ultimately, the song was my idea. It was. And Jeff didn't use any of my lyrics. My one lyric. Your one lyric. Your producer. Yeah, but it kind of sucks. It was. And Jeff didn't use any of my lyrics. My one lyric. That's your one lyric. Your producer.

Yeah, but it like it kind of sucks. It hurts a little bit. And right. Have a feeling it should be charred. That's not bad. It's good. It was good. Yeah, it inspired you. I have a feeling that it should be jarred.

Can we talk through these lyrics? Oh my god. It's incredible. How about we focus on the parboiled line? Yeah, there are a few things. Because parboiling is less than boiling. Yeah.

So you're not burning anything. No, yeah, it's al dente. Well, you can take parboiled and fry the shit out of it. Well, it's kind of like if you like cooked risotto, that's usually al dente. But then you make, maybe you make arancini, you fry it into a little ball. Which is kind of jarred. A little bit.

I had goat cheese balls last weekend. Congrats. That's not rice. Okay. You've got a hot wok. Is it hot enough to burn all these grains? Maybe we could make them sear. Maybe together we could ruin some rice.

Hoisin makes it wetter. Yeah, I did send these lyrics to a lot of people and everyone pointed out that they were uncomfortable with hoisin makes it wetter. Well, this was your favorite line you said from the verse that I sent you, which is adding soy seeds and various oils. Yeah, just like various oils. And when you're done scorching grains, the rice should be unrecognizable. Risable. Risable.

I was also happy that you all of the end lyrics to the chorus were different words instead of like, someone be someone be someone I figured that you would do it the way you did it which made me happy

I had a feeling that I could serve the dish as a side as a host yeah and then the last one I had a feeling I could serve singed brown rice to a crowd at a wake yeah but you kind of jumped ahead there you read ahead yeah i don't

think we need to go through all the lyrics right all right then let's take a fucking break fuck you guys right put a lot of time and effort into this shit and uh this is the thing so you know holy shit this show is sponsored by better help guys if you had an extra hour in your day, how would you spend it? Because I would absolutely fix all of my problems with the extra hour. That's the issue is that there aren't 25 hours in the day. So I can't become a better version of me. Does that make sense? But maybe you would want to go for a run or go for a nap or go for reading a book. to go for a run or go for a nap or go for reading a book. Because a lot of us spend our times wishing that we had more time in our day. And the question is time for what? Because if time

was unlimited, how you would use it would infer your mental health and your happiness and your joy. The best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and make it a priority. Therapy can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it. I'm in therapy every week. I've definitely benefited from it and I would highly recommend it to anybody who has access to it. And BetterHelp makes it easier. So if you're thinking of giving therapy a try, start with BetterHelp. It's entirely online,

designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Learn to make time for what makes you happy for what makes you get joy with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash whatsthat today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash whatsthat. Thanks, BetterHelp. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple.

That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day. Like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe and their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient

density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands. I like to drink it first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water, I'll have my AG1, and then I'll have my coffee. And it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1.

Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. God, it's so loud. And we're back.

Johnny, it's my understanding that you have a segment that you brought in. Yeah, yeah. I was really excited to come back on. So I haven't been on the podcast in a while obviously but it seems like in my during my absence head gum has grown a lot you guys got the jake johnson podcast that's pretty big kind of a big deal yeah you got the tom selleck podcast as well which is really really amazing tom selle Tom Selleck. Guy with the mustache. Friends with Bob Odenkirk. We know who he is. He doesn't have a show. David Cross.

Who? Oh, never mind. Okay. Well, anyways. Tom Selleck. Doesn't matter. Yeah, Tom Selleck. Guy with the mustache. Bald head. You said that. You said that and we know who he is. He does not have a HeadGum podcast. Makes no sense to me. Every time you say his name, you get happier exponentially.

Yeah, because he's awesome. But it doesn't matter. And you love the pod. I do love the pod. It's great. So I haven't been on the podcast in a while, and I think I wanted to talk about how much we've all grown. We've grown as a company.

We've grown as performers. And I put together a couple moments moments maybe that aren't our brightest shining moments but i wanted to talk through them so we can really really actualize just how much we've grown since since the start of head gum really a look back yeah a look back walk down memory lane pretty much and jeffrey uh first i wanted to ask a question. Where was everybody during the 2017 NBA Eastern Conference Finals in Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio? I went to a game, I think, yeah. Yeah, a basketball game, right? Quicken Loans Arena.

Yeah. Sure. I think with some friends. Yeah, yeah, with some friends. But we don't have to pull up the image right now. Jeffrey, your career has and Loans Arena. Yeah. Sure. I think with some friends. Basketball game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With some friends. But we don't have to pull up the image right now. Jeffrey, your career has been going off

without a hitch. Not really. You had the CBS Diversity Showcase. Let me finish. You had the CBS Diversity Showcase. You just finished

shooting a movie. That's really, really exciting. But, you know, it wasn't all rainbows and butterflies. There was compromise. And you had some run-ins with some contentious characters. Would you say that?

I don't think I would say that. Okay, well, why don't we pull up the first image and we can talk through it. Okay. Okay. So yeah, in this image... That's an unbelievable photo. Yeah, it is unbelievable.

This is a real photo i found on google images and in the middle there we have now canceled celebrity david chapelle and to david chapelle's left we have none other than head gums jeffrey james now i'm imagining that dave is spouting some really really spiteful spiteful rhetoric. You think he was sitting there in the stands saying transphobic stuff? Probably. Is this image you cosigning Amy Schumer's opinions on Israel? Of course not.

Why are you biting your lip? Yeah, you're biting your lip. Because we were losing. And you're biting your top lip, which was a problem that you had back then hmm fuck you everyone was like

doing a bit you did this stupid thing in 2016 you had a bad habit we had a huge problem with it meanwhile Phil Handy looks fine Phil Handy looks like he's gearing up to be the Lakers head coach.

Yeah, exactly. You can just sort of tell he has a vision towards the future. Yeah, he's seeing himself in Redondo. But yeah, continue talking. Yeah, I just wanted you to briefly talk about what was going through your mind, because you have to wonder what the hell is going on

in your head that you're not speaking out for somebody who can't really defend themselves. Yeah. Well, this was like a decade ago, right? Like this was before he came out with all those specials where he was saying horrible things.

I'm sure they were all brewing in his head. How am I supposed to know what's brewing in the person's head next to me? That's how you're going to, that's how you're choosing to hold me accountable. There's so many other ways you could. Ultimately. I just, I just want to say that I feel betrayed upon seeing this image. And I want to know, Joel, if you feel the same way.

I don't think you've seen this image before, have you? I was actually shown it a few weeks ago. Really? Yes. I was interested in the fact that everyone else is looking up. I assume it means you were shown on the big screen and so they're looking at themselves and you have no idea

you're on the big screen that's probably why you're still doing the weird upper lip thing or I guess you're doing that subconsciously so even if you knew you might have been doing it it was definitely a game that we were or yeah we won the series 4-2, right?

This was against the Raptors? I'm not sure. 2017 Conference Finals, yeah. Then I don't know. Also, who was sitting to your left? My dad. Matt Rife. Obviously.

Michael Shea. A prepubescent Matt Reif. I sat next to these people by happenstance. What else do you want me to say? I just want you to admit your wrongdoing and then we can move on from this image. I'm sorry that I sat, I was sat next to Dave Chappelle.

Okay, good. And look, you're my friend and i know you've grown up since then but even still you dove a little bit deeper into that community uh you became an edgy a sort of edgy comedian who wanted to balance his audience on the left wing and the right wing you really it's not the case down center i don't care if there's anyone on the right wing in my audience all right it doesn't matter what you think because... Yes, it's becoming very clear by the way. It doesn't matter what I think.

Well, yeah, it doesn't matter what you think because ultimately it matters how you act. Yeah. You swang a little bit too hard for the fences on your Joe Rogan appearance. Do you remember that? I have never done the Joe Rogan experience. Okay, why don't we open up

the next image and play the first part of that clip from your Joe Rogan appearance. I don't think anyone else has seen it, so maybe we can all be quiet and just let it ride. Alright, this is not... It's obviously not real.

Right? I don't know. One second. Alright, this is the awesome shit you worked on. on man you're a really funny guy truth be told i learned from the best yeah i'm curious what kind of comedians were you watching when you were growing up you know carrot top carrot top yeah also carlos mencia uh-huh yeah he's got this really funny song that really punches down But you know Cancel culture and all that

Anyway Yeah I'm blanking on other comedians The pace of the conversation Is indicative this isn't true When did this happen That sounded exactly like you No it didn't it sounded like Johnny with an AI voice on top of his That sounds a little bit more like me.

When was this, Johnny, when was this? This was a couple years ago. They wiped it really quickly from the Joe Rogan feed. They deleted it from the Joe Rogan feed? They don't do that? They've never done that. I assume someone with your interests at heart really cared about you and they wanted this wiped from the internet

but thankfully we had internet archival experts. Archive.org. Who are the archival experts? They're on the deep web, man. It doesn't matter. I don't want to say their names or anything. Wait, you like Carlos Mencia's DDD song, which is about how

mentally handicapped people shouldn't procreate? You thought that was good? I don't know who that is. I've never heard that name before. Well, you sort of co-signed it. I can't believe I've never heard of these. I was a victim of a deepfake. That's what this is, by the way.

I've never heard that you're interested in these comedians, which I'm really shocked by. I thought we were close friends. I've never seen a Carrot Top bit. What did Carrot Top do that got him canceled? He did prop comedy. So it's just that he's not funny? No.

Sort of makes sense as your influence, though, in a way. You know what's funny is that my dad's co-worker is Carrot Top's brother. Really? That is actually kind of insane. But he was sitting to the left of your dad. He's right in that row and quicken loans. Ultimately, I was pretty shocked hearing that,

and it seems like everyone else was pretty shocked. Why don't we play the second clip, and I'll just let it speak for itself. Okay, I don't like that you're letting the clips speak for themselves, because I feel like they need a ton of context, and they're not real. Just let them talk for themselves. You worked with Jake and Amir, right?

No way he knows who they are. Sorry, I need to start this over. I see so jazzed that that happened to be the first internship I did in college. He's like giving me my flowers for no reason. You worked with Jake and Amir, right?

That was like your first fucking internship man you should feel uh total hacks fuck those guys oh okay i feel like i've only heard good things about them you're the only media personality who's worth a damn in this country wow thank you jeffrey now let's talk about gun control Dude, you are Yeah, you're absolutely biting the hand that feeds you I don't understand This is your voice with an AI generator on top of it

I mean, now that I hear that I have to make some phone calls after this episode And talk to some pretty important people Yeah, absolutely, I don't blame you Moose? make some phone calls after this episode and talk to some pretty important people. Yeah, absolutely. I don't blame you. Moose? Yes.

She's the one pulling the strings on this whole endeavor. I did on this, on today's episode, I did say that I wanted Marika to get Marika fired and to furlough the content team. Yeah, you did. I heard that. Yeah. Bye. Cat's back with us.

These clips are a cat that can't be put into the bag. Yeah, absolutely. The cat's out of the bag. Jeffrey's made mistakes. I don't think I have. Why don't we just move on? Let's move on from that episode. Let's move on.

In a bag. Yeah, let's move on from this episode because I certainly feel the same way. I would love to move on from this episode because I certainly feel the same way. I would love to move on from this. Jeffrey, on Review Review, I will commend you for your ad reads. It got to a point where people were making memes about him. I think that really speaks to how good you are as an entertainer

to make something as banal as an advertisement very interesting. The cat's ass is in your face. Move on. Yeah, it's good that your ad reads are so well done. But, you know, when you first started, you had to find your voice. It is kind of weird reading an advertisement. But I think you really struck gold and really found your footing with this one advertisement. but I think you really struck gold and really found your footing with this one advertisement.

Now, why don't you pull up the image and why don't you play your ad read for the cults of America? Okay, I was going to say that I was proud that, yeah, all I ever did was, you know, read ads for brands that have integrity. Yeah, I mean, this is a non-profit. It's no way it's real by the way that there's an organization a league and non-profit organization that makes sure that cults are fine here's the ad this episode of review review is sponsored by the cults of America.

Guys, are you looking for something greater than yourself? Oh, come on. Of course you are. We all are. So many people sink their teeth into religion, into their career, their hobbies, thinking that

that's going to better explain the world around them. It sounds like I have a gun pointed at me. Any feelings of abandonment and isolation? No, no, no, no. It doesn't work that way. So you kind of go on a little bit of a tirade and I'll just skip this part. It's a little blue. Yeah, it's a little blue.

Like-minded folks who share the same feelings as you so you come out the other side with a real community visit your local cults of america chapter to learn more about the greater good and be sure to tell them jeffrey sent you man i love my job now back to the show i honestly have no neutral thing to say about this, and I understand that I'm the moderator for this discussion, but what the fuck is the matter with you, dude? Are you kidding me? Also, it's not like, what do you think it is?

Like the Freemasons? Local chapter? Cults are like highly specific things in the mountains that like cut themselves off from greater society. You think they're going to be advertising? Sounds like he's speaking from experience. Marika, you're the one who's always like, don't play copyrighted music.

And by the way, you haven't taken the reins or taken your druthers. So I don't think you have a leg to stand on. All right. No, because when you like sink into yourself, you're like, all right. It's like makes me look like an asshole. Yeah.

I mean, look. I didn't read that ad. I don't know what you want me to say. I don't support cults. You don't have to continuously deny these things. These are just blemishes on your career that I think ultimately is net fine. What?

At the very least, net Ben-ins. Yeah. Nice. Thank you. These are like, you're trying to get me canceled. You're like, and you don't have to deny it. Everything's fine.

Yeah, everything's fine. No, it isn't. You're saying I'm friends with transphobes. You're saying that I'm guesting on the Joe Rogan podcast and shitting on the people that pay me. You're coming for my job. You're coming for my reputation. You're coming for my reputation.

And I'm not doing anything. It's you who made these decisions. And I'm just displaying them back to the world. And we can, look, we can talk about them and you can explain your side of the story. I have been. And everybody's like, no, no, you did that. You just keep denying it.

That is my side of the story is to deny. All right, what's next? Yeah, ultimately thankfully that non-profit was shut down a couple weeks after that but the damage had already been done. I don't think it did. If it was shut down weeks later there was no damage done because even if somebody

traveled to a cult. No, you did damage to them. So now you're defending the organization? Not really. I'm just saying that you kind of shut them down. Yeah. I haven't taken anything Marika's said to heart since she started talking about

Rag Egg. That was months ago. Alright, out with one cult and in with another. Meaning? Do you guys remember when Donald Trump gave Hedgum a cosign as well? No. It doesn't sound like something that happened. Well, it seems like everyone wants to deny it,

but I will say that this was something that I kind of lost a little bit of sleep over. I couldn't eat over this. I felt like I was on the wrong side of history. Which one? Which Donald Trump gave us that cosign? No, you lost sleep or you lost your ability to eat. Well, I did both. Couldn't sleep because you were famished.

Yeah, I was famished. I was fasting. So unrelated. So fasting is purposeful. It's like a religious experience when Trump gave his endorsement. Yeah, sorry, sorry. Why don't we play, we can just play that clip from Trump and we can display that. We can display the image as well.

It's me, Donald Trump. I just want to say I believe that HeadGum is comprised of real American patriots. Amir Blumenfeld, real American patriot. Jeffrey James, real American patriot. And others. Thank you. I'm Donald Trump. And he said, so when he said others.

I'm clean, baby. Yeah. So we're, us three and Emma in the studio, I think we're fine. But it was weird that he did do this cosign. And I, it just left us. Where'd you find this? He posted this on his ex, formerly known as Twitter. Right. He posted this on his ex, but known as Twitter He posted this on his ex

But it didn't really have much to do with his presidential bill And you said there was a photo that went with it? Well it was that photo It was just a random photo of Trump I found on the internet Are you enjoying the show? Refill your popcorn You'll love the next part This is kind of a funny image

But anyways Do you guys remember why I That part's kind of cool. Yeah. I feel like I'm the only one who's still sane. This is nothing. Do you remember why he gave us that cosign, though? No! I don't. I would have assumed he heard about it on Rogan.

No, no, no. It's smart that you would assume that, but he actually didn't. Amir, specifically you, do you remember why exactly? Is it because me and Jake were at the insurrection? What? On January 6th?

Actually, yeah, something similar. And it's funny that you do own up to it because you did post an episode entitled Jake and Amir January 6th. I'll let that clip speak for itself as well. And Jeffrey, you can show the image, the thumbnail image from that episode. Oh my God.

God, we were so hot that day. But on CNN. You believe what a rich TV presenter tells you? My God, you're right. I should blindly listen to anonymous whistleblowers on the internet. Precisely. Entering this. Coup d' to anonymous whistleblowers on the internet. Precisely. Entering this.

Coup d'etat. Crudité. Wrong. Will heads roll? Heads will roll. Then sign me up. Sign everyone up. I'm way ahead of you, brother. Now let's take the pledge. Viewers, say it with me. I stand for freedom.

I stand for freedom. I stand for freedom. I stand for freedom. I stand for freedom. I stand for freedom. I stand for freedom. Enjoy our episode. That was the opening? They've never done a cold opening before.

I will say it was a weird tonal shift, especially having an outro at the end that was a little bit in broken English. And you start to, you know, as a Jake and Amir fan yourself, Joel, you listen to the episode, you think, oh, this is not real. This can't be real.

And then you hear the crudité joke, which is so fucking funny. Not really. That's a classic. It's a classic. Can I also say, the tonal shift isn't like also, it's not just point of view tone.

It's also like the tone of their voice is like digital and wrong. I'm also surprised they shot something on location like this. The picture is Yossified. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like we look like the Property Brothers

and my jawline has never looked better. Yeah, your jaw looks incredible. Arguably looks worse. I think Jake's jawline looks good. Jake looks like he's been using that thing where he's like Jake looks like Tom Brady Amir, you don't have to

it's apparent that you've grown up since then and really started to become someone who lives on the right side of history but I wanted to know how it felt to be someone who flew so the right side of history, but I wanted to know how it felt to be someone who flew so close to the QAnon sun and came back out the other side, you know?

Well, I'm still in the bubble, but I'm also down to hear other people's opinions and trying to change them from the inside out almost. Not really. You're kind of like a lone ranger in there. Yes, a vigilante. How are you a vigilante?

Why are you guys on his side? I'm not on his side, I'm just asking. He's grown up, obviously. No, Merdeka, you're honest. You're relaxed. You're like, and you're spewing bullshit. I was just asking questions. I was just trying to figure out what the situation is.

No, you're not. You're deciding what the situation is. This was the difference. Amir's owning up to it. Amir's on his phone. Doesn't mean he's not right. I'm texting this picture to people. He's owning up to it regardless.

You don't have the picture. I took a screen grab. This is so fucked up. What else? All right, well, now that we've gone through that, I kind of wanted to lastly play a clip from HeadGum's darling Marika.

Yeah, Casey Donahue sent this to me anonymously after... Anonymously. Well, I figured since I'm not getting any kind of flack if I do share his name, I might as well just share it anyway. Yeah. Nice. Well, I figured since I'm not getting any kind of flack, if I do share his name, I might as well just share it anyway. Yeah. So this was after one of your recordings.

And, you know, Marika, you're generally kind to us on these recordings, online, through text. But I think that's unrealistic to expect that you don't have any bad days and you don't get mad at people. But yeah, Casey decided that it was time to blow the whistle. Time was up for Marika. And let's just play the first clip. Solid F, Casey, but you're on thin ice.

You know how much I don't care about this F1 crap anymore. But you keep prying about how I feel about the Vegas Grand Prix. It's just people driving. I can look out my window and see the same thing, and you keep quizzing me on these racers and teams. Alfa Romeo this, Charles Leclerc that. You're telling me that's a real person's name? The whole sport is balderdash.

I will say... person's name the whole sport is balderdash Jeff looks like he's making fun of Asian people Casey looks like the Joker but like the cartoon version of the Joker what's going on with my face am I crying? no you're extremely sad in this one. Johnny's like, no, I didn't edit your face.

I get that a lot. Ultimately, I know it's the same. Ultimately, I don't think I'd come off too bad. It's okay to hate F1, but I think you taking it out on casey is a big

big no-no and that's where i really fucking draw a big no-no no it's a big no-no you can't do that you can't get mad at casey yeah and okay so you don't like f1 that's fine do you and but you you i'm sure you like other things do you you post a lot on your story about uh broadway shows right you sure yeah like that okay why don't you tell me about uh a show that you like recently and let's turn it into america's druthers yeah i actually truly can't because i have to go take a call oh okay okay. Sorry about that. Yeah. But it's funny. It's funny that you say that you like Broadway shows, and yet, if Jeffrey, you play the second clip, you hear a different story.

And how dare you continue to bring up Broadway shows? I have much better things to focus my time on, unlike my crypto forum and my online tutoring school. Theater is dead, long live the TikTok. I don't know how many times I have to say it. You've never said it. Who am I talking to? Don't fuck with me, Casey.

Even I'm on my Crypto Forum. Long live the TikTok. I don't know how many times I have to say it. Wow. Don't fuck with me, Casey. Casey wears a wire every time he interacts with Marika.

Don't fuck with me, Casey. You better trim that last part out. I need a smoke. Oh my god. You made her leave. Yeah, really, really awful things. And honestly, now that she can't defend herself,

I do feel bad for saying it, but if she doesn't like Broadway musicals... First off, she fucking lied to my face about saying she liked Broadway musicals. Second off, if she likes crypto or she wants to talk about her tutoring school or whatever the fuck, she can talk about that on her own podcast.

You're an asshole. This is sort of her podcast. If she wants to talk about her tutoring school or whatever the fuck, that's like the one good thing that she mentioned. She's helping the less fortunate. Okay. Anyways, let's just... So it seems like tensions are high, and I wanted to...

Yeah! It feels like there's a lot of room for people to make missteps at this company. And from a PR standpoint, I think it's important that we have something ready to go in case one of us really makes a grave error. Or maybe someone makes an AI deepfake of us

saying something really fucking horrid. Like a press release or something that we could respond with. I can't even fucking imagine what that would feel like or how that would look. It's what's been happening in the last 32 minutes. It would be deeply harmful if it happened. What I did was look through the archives and I think I found something that you guys haven't

posted before that will really save your bacon and put you guys back in God's good graces should someone make a mistake. So now it's not even the court of public opinion. You're talking about divine intervention. It's called the cancellation antidote. Now, would you be able to press

play on that MP3, Jeffrey? Do you want me to share the image? Yeah, you can share that image too. And we can talk through this one. I don't want to. Really lo-fi 90s space music. I'm really getting chills right now. No, you're not.

This is... There's no bass. It's incredibly effective. I think it's mixed mono. Oh, my God. Yeah, this was awesome. What? So this is it?

This is just the slide in the song? There comes a time... Oh. Oh, I like this song. When we hear the certain call Can you hold my hand, Joel? That's you, by the way. This isn't like a weird

we are the world thing. It's not weird, for sure. It's not weird. And also, I don't feel like I'm overextending. It's weird. Can I pause it? Yeah.

You just spent 30 minutes like dissecting minutiae in all of our lives and fake histories. Okay. And now you're making the argument that life is the greatest gift of all and that's what we should focus on. You were mad at me because I happened to be sat next to a celebrity that's cancelable now you're saying that we should just focus on the fact that life is a precious thing i don't know why you're so against having something that will put you in god's good graces as i said before we are the children and i think it's ultimately a net good to have this ready to go. I can't thank you enough for preparing this. Oh, yeah, of course.

This is bulletproof. Yeah, yeah. This sounds like garbage. You sound amazing, dude. This isn't me. Oh, that's Jeff singing. No, it's not. Jeff is the world. All singing. Jeff is the world.

All right. Jeff is the children. Especially combined with the sign. Thank us for what? You didn't do anything. I thank you guys for sharing something so beautiful. Actually, that song kind of did save everything. No way.

Yeah, that song I think will put us in good graces. What is this font? This looks like it took you a ton of time to just like photoshop lasso tool out from like blocks of black well I lasso tooled off the the head gum logo

and you're not gonna respect the effort that I you could have just asked Rika for the font you guys have a font I didn't know that that's how you have the text obviously we have the it you have the text obviously we have the farm we have the text oh that was funny i feel like we got pretty far guys i think we can confidently say it's been a minute for a reason i understand and i've kind of felt that way or

people have told me straight to my face similar things no in all honesty people have been begging for your return and I think I didn't appreciate this but I think the audience will okay fan service is all I'm about

what's that? I love fan service nothing? feels like this is something that would actually get claps What's that? I love fan service. Nothing? Feels like this is something that would actually get claps. We got canceled one by one. We came back and we found out that being alive is all you need. I think a lot of that was a waste of time. but why don't we, uh, kind of take it

into plugs. Johnny, let's start with you. What do you have going on? What do you want to point the people towards? Is there pretty, uh, whack music coming out soon? Uh, yes. Pretty whack is currently on the hunt for a third party contractor. There's far too much work. The paperwork is insane for this company. So it's a one-on-one company i feel like you make the paperwork you create the red tape so why is it there well yeah i like to give myself a challenge obviously so there's a lot of red tape there's a lot of paperwork and uh ultimately you don't have to make it an industry by the way because it is pretty whack industries it could just be pretty whack you as an artist but instead you

create all this red tape and all this like hierarchy where you're at every level yeah because i want to be respected by pretty much anybody now uh the other things i do want to plug are uh there's a music that just came out from my friend uh and roommate aj is uh artist name on spotify is boyhood period he just came out with a song a cover of the linger of the cranberries linger you should take a listen to that and very funny if i bleeped this he would really appreciate that and uh if you live in brooklyn uh go to if he's hot chicken it's awesome uh it's a not off nostrand avenue you gotta go and follow me on Instagram maybe I'll post eventually

at JohnnyVGAOVCHNYDI yeah but this is the year this is my Jordan year where I post 2024 is your Jordan year you're 27 I'm in the paint, I'm ready and I'm about to shoot and score

don't get blocked. Pump fake if necessary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The last two years have been pump fakes. All your drafts are pump fakes. I got a lot of gold in the drafts. They're pump fakes and deep fakes. Nice.

Joel, what do you got? And I swear to God, if you say anything in regards to the city of brotherly love. I was just going to say if you say anything in regards to the brotherly love I was just gonna say thank you Johnny for that beautiful song I mean America loves a redemption story the HeadGum podcast fans love a redemption story so I was glad to have

Johnny here and that's all I got oh and go Sixers how dare you follow me at Emma Rose Foley on Instagram I don't have anything else Oh, and go Sixers. How dare you? Follow me at Emma Rose Foley on Instagram. I don't have anything else. I'm here.

We're rooting for the Kansas City Chiefs in the Super Bowl. By the time this comes out, you guys will know if I'm $1 million richer. That's right. I'm putting $1 million, taking a loan out, and putting it all on the KC Chiefs plus two and a half. That's USC.

If the Niners has won since this episode has aired, you will not see me again. I will have taken a job at some community theater in between LA and New York. I'm off the grid entirely.

Make back a million dollars to join a community theater. I'm running away from the lot. If I should win, then you guys will see me a new version of myself where it won't be that dissimilar to the picture that you saw of me new version of myself where it won't be that dissimilar to the picture that you saw of me

in front of the burning Capitol. I will have a new face and I will be in front of a burning building. It's your house for the insurance money. You get greedy. Never bet against Taylor. Never interrupt my ass. I thought you wanted that.

Yeah, that's true. That was one of the ground rules, actually. Patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. We're still doing Zoom parties over there. It's a lot of fun. And, you know, it's sort of amorphous, but it's a lot of fun and might as well join while we still do it. Because who knows how much longer we'll do it. Probably a long time, but you never know.

Marika, what? What do you mean, what? I had to leave during the defamation of me. You can follow me on Instagram to see how much I actually care about Broadway and F1 at Marika Ilan. I didn't say I care or don't care, but i'm saying you can see how much i maybe care okay um and that i have no ill will towards casey my co-worker who i guess why is this the angriest you've ever gotten on the show at johnny's harmless segment. Ultimately harmless. Ultimately harmless.

And follow me on Letterboxd, and Twitter, all those things. Yeah. And I don't mean to like pick you apart, but I feel like you might do well to just like be a little bit more economical in your plugs.

Like maybe just focus on one thing every week because I think people glaze over when you give them six things to do. I ain't giving them six things to do i'll see you guys again next week to do i gave them two that was a Hiddem Original.