The Headgum Podcast - 194: Lincoln Dumbass Debate (w/ Miles Bonsignore!)

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

Miles Bonsignore (Perfect Person) joins Amir, Allie, and Geoff to finally settle the question everyone's been asking: "Which studio is better, H or G?"Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. That was good timing. Welcome to Supermarket Cheap! Cheap! You guys know Supermarket Sweet hosted by leslie jones yeah you gotta put like a bunch of stuff in your shopping cart or something yeah but there's also like mini game shows quizzes and stuff so this is supermarket

um so the following it's really just questions about grocery items, multiple choice style. Are we ready? Why not? I think so. Question one, which salad is the best seller at Safeway? Are you going to talk about the Sweeney? We can get it back into it, but it feels like Miles has something specific that he wants to get done.

Unbox the 2023 Listener's Choice Winner Award. Winner Award? Every award is a winner award. This is the 2023 Listener's Choice. It comes with care instructions to clean you soft and dry cloth. Yes, this will melt in a washer dryer situation. And it does also come with some silica gel. So what part of it stays fresh?

Psycho. And of course, the Signal Award for 2023 Listener's Choice winner of Advice and How-To for Perfect Person. Thank you for the vote. And and of course we would be remiss if not to also give a shout out to the 23 silver winner you won first you won first and second place. Yeah, I won first in silver. I won listeners and I won silver, but I did not win the gold.

Next year, guys, we'll get them. So how many awards are there per category? There's listener, there's gold, there's silver. I believe there's silver, bronze, gold, teal And listener Teal? Oh, I'm smudging it Quick, get the microfiber

Oh, get the silica gel, it's getting too moist I did get a microfiber with this one as well, I believe Yes, here it is Here it is, so I make sure that I can keep it nice and clean I wasn't sure if it was just a gold thing or... This is heavy as fuck. It is heavy. Well, I want to thank HeadGum, the HeadGum podcast,

and everyone here except Jeff for really helping me secure the W. Thanks, guys, for real. I've been on two episodes. I contributed to like one 80th of that award. I think you've been on three. And the fact that you don't remember that... Means you've been on one. What the fact that you don't remember that means you've been on 1. What? I'm deleting the old episode. No way

because then you're going to lose the ad revenue from that. Doesn't matter. Going forward you won't get the impressions. But I'll have my hope. I have stuff to get to. Do you want to just put your award somewhere that's displayed so that we can refer back to them if necessary slash ad nauseum? I would

like that. Oh! Wait. I wonder if the gold one is any different than the listener one, which is also gold. What are you... What is it? You're worried it's broken? I think it is broken. No, the headphones are wearable.

You didn't know that? Is that true? No way. There's no way. There's no way. But they are loose. No, that's not true. I just wanted to see if you'd try and yank it.

You want to meet it? Let's just put those right there. The hardware. We started the show, by the way. We did the little cold open, and I was hoping that the cold open would be, oh, the awards. That's funny.

He's opening them on the show. Cold open over. Let's get into the actual show. But you kept driving the point past home that you won these awards that basically are pay to play, by the way. They're not pay to play. Maybe the silver was, but...

It was a fortune to be nominated, but you did finish second, naturally. Well, a listener. And a listener. I got second and listener. Did you submit or did HeadGum submit? HeadGum submitted for me, which is really nice. Why does HeadGum not do that for the HeadGum podcast?

Not once have we submitted this show for an award I think it's too expensive It's like $40 A little more I think it's expensive But Amir filled the bill personally Maybe we did and it didn't go anywhere That's also possible, Jeff

You can only bribe people so far. Yeah. What category would it go into? The category would be pay-to-play. Oh. It's a bribery-only category. We got the gold in the pay-to-play category. So whoever gives the most cash

wins the most glass. Yeah. Yeah. Very nice. Yeah. Segments was in a bidding war with us. Interesting. And you guys just did that

because you know that you would drive the price up and I would end up spending $1,400 for the gold. What's the biggest amount of money you've ever spent on a little silly joke that you've lost? It's a really good, oh, I spent $400 on edible arrangements

for Hayes and Sean from Hollywood Handbook when they guessed it on this episode. Because I was like, oh, this is perfect. They'll be like, you sent us this fruit basket before. Why did you do that? There'll be like a whole bit on the show. They didn't bring it up at all. Yeah. What?

You also gave one a really big one and one the smallest one possible. Exactly. So I gave, I think, Hayes likees the magnum 10,000 sticks of fruit. And I gave Sean like five sticks of cantaloupe. Not even. I think it was maybe honeydew. I couldn't even afford the other melon. Yeah, Jesus. And they didn't

discuss amongst themselves, so they didn't know the size of the fruit. Yeah, that was the other part of the bit. Was it supposed to be like, you got an edible arrangement too? How big was yours? And it's like, you know, why did i get a tiny one why did haze get the huge one that didn't come up no not once not ever yeah yeah anyway wow we're putting this segment on hold. We have to.

We have to. It's too much. And you want to know why? Because Barbara Broccoli, producer of the Bond movies. Sorry, are we boring you? No, I was just pulling up my segment. Your segment? Yeah, well, every time I come on the show,

I just like to prepare a little segment. Yeah. I think. It's always at my expense. Yeah. Not always. I mean, this one could on my expense. Yeah. Not always. I mean, this one could be different. Bye-bye wisdom teeth.

August 30th, 2013. Jeffrey James. Two comments, eight likes. Just know that he can play it. I was just going to say we're shelving Bond of the Week for the time being because Barbara Broccoli, the producer, says nothing is happening with regards to the new bond but that was for my facebook page yeah this is on your public facebook page which i encourage everyone to check out because there's a lot of stuff i saw and witnessed that i don't feel comfortable sharing meaning because it's about

people that are not like you meaning well it's like seeing other people sort of women flirt with you from high school i don't feel comfortable comfortable, like, when they comment, like, hey, cutie, like, I don't feel comfortable saying that on the show. But you feel comfortable viewing it on the internet. Oh, I viewed it already. Ten years ago. Oh, here's the Grand Budapest Hotel trailer. So, period, excited. Oh, that's really nice.

Yeah, I went to film, I was really into film in high school. 2013. Did you like Wes Anderson? I loved Wes Anderson Yeah I still like Wes Anderson He's good Yeah I actually did have a question though

Okay 2014 November 28 My birthday Really? Uh huh That provides some context Did you say

Happy birthday Karen Gillan? Cause we share the birthday. And so it was kind of a little coy little thing of like, oh, my friends know it's my birthday, but I'm wishing someone else a birthday. What's that? Did she know you? No.

Was she famous at that point? Yeah, she was in Doctor Who. Oh. I loved Doctor Who. She's bucked. She was bucked. She was busy. She was in Doctor Who. Oh. I loved Doctor Who. She's booked. She was booked. She was busy. She was blessed.

Yeah. She was booked, blessed, and thriving. Under 30 and thriving. Yeah. Yeah. And flirty. And now she's married to Nick Kocher. I know.

Have you met her before? I haven't, but I feel like my friend Corey sees her all the time because he's buddies with Nick. Yeah. And I feel like I'm only two degrees separate from Gillen. Would you bring that up? What's that? Would you bring it up?

That on November 28, 2014, I wished her a happy birthday on my Facebook? No. She'd like to know. Would you say, oh, we have the same birthday? That I would say. Yeah. Not this shit. You said I would say, I wished you a happy birthday.

You didn't get it. Okay. You don't think that's a little weird that you knew her birthday? I think everyone knows, everyone tends to know like what celebrities share a birthday with me, right?

My sister shares it with Justin Bieber. That's cool. Yeah. By the way, this comes out of my sister's birthday. Happy birthday, Sarah. Wow.

Happy birthday, Sarah. That's March 1st. Yeah. As in let's march first towards the capital. Oh. Was she born on a leap year? Or is it like almost

the 29th of February? If her birthday is March 1st. But like, is it, what year was she born? Oh, okay. You didn't answer. I mean, can we get a numbers crunch on that, Miles? Is she turning in 1994? Was that a leap year?

Looking for cheap quality housing in the USC area this summer? Look no further than the glimmering palace that is the Sigma Nu house. So, I was in a fraternity for a semester. I didn't know you were in a fraternity yeah i feel like that's not a big part of your brand identity of course it's not i was there for a semester and a half but you were urging people to join or to live there i had to advertise the housing thing as part of the pledging process did you make it were you a brother yeah and then immediately i was like this isn't fun anymore. And that was the...

That semester, the second semester where I was a full brother was the year that Trump got elected. And people in the house were celebrating. So I was like, eh. Not for you. Trump was elected and people were like, let's do a kegger. And you said, I actually do theater. Yeah, that's exactly right.

Oh, I do improv. That's exactly right oh i do improv that's my brotherhood is there a frat that voted with her yeah it gotta be the beta house yeah the beta cuck house yeah yeah um government shutdown let's talk about it. Is it imminent? Would you guys be surprised or would you kind of be glad to have a shutdown by the government? Yeah.

What if the post office stopped for a month? I don't send a lot of posts. Yeah. I think I'd probably receive things. Would it affect Amazon? I think Amazon is safe because that's private. Let's shut this fucker down.

Let's get public services gone for a while. Are we not surprised that HeadGum hasn't had a shutdown? I'm not surprised that we haven't. You've never thought about walking out, Ellie? No. There's been

no talk of unionizing yeah i feel like marika would have a different answer because we kind of threw a comedy festival that she was like forced into planning basically her by herself on the day of her birthday three years ago i don't know if that's true but i don't know what that has to do with the walkout. Wow, Mir. I would have walked out if I was her. Are you okay? I think I was until I heard that.

I think I was the only one who acknowledged it was her birthday because I brought her cookies. Yeah. And then she forgot that it was me. She was like, oh, somebody brought cookies. I was like, that was me. I feel like we were all having a lot of fun before we walked in the studio. It sounded fun. Because we were talking about, like, your haircut versus Amir's haircut.

Yeah. Yeah. We were just connecting. We were talking about prebiotic sodas. Olipops. Olipops. I was going to say olipop. Yeah, the fact that marshmallows grow on trees like money.

Yeah, we're having, like, a lot of fun, like, whimsical conversations. I don't mind that. You clearly do. Facebook? Any more? Or do you want to sprinkle this in throughout the episode? Just, like, quotes here and there. Yeah, I'd rather sprinkle. Got? Or do you want to sprinkle this in throughout the episode? Just like quotes here and there. Yeah, I'd rather sprinkle.

Got it. To be honest. All right. You guys hear about this? What is that? What? You guys hear about this? Oh.

Lauren Boebert used to have a gun-themed restaurant in Rifle, Colorado called Shooter's Grill. Is she the one who got fingered in the... Beetlejuice? Yeah. What? She was groped at a musical. Oh. She was...

I hate to say it, but she was... She was groping too, right? Consensual? Consensual. So not groped. She was Josh Groping. I don't know. She got a little handsy during a matinee. And she was hands-on.

I don't mind that for her, though. That's not my issue with her. Do you mind that the play was Beetlejuice? To me, Beetlejuice is a romp and a fun festival. So being... Sorry. Yeah. Beetlejuice is...

The Beetlejuice, the musical or play is a festival? Yeah, a musical. It's a fun festival. Okay. It's like a good time. Yeah. I've seen it. Okay, you guys.

Best Broadway musical to hook up to. Wow. Something rotten. Right as Gavroche gets killed. Best Broadway musical to hook up to. Wow. Something rotten. Right as Gavroche gets killed. Hamlet. As soon as Hamlet exits. You think they do Hamlet on Broadway?

Fucking idiot. They don't even do They did Fat Ham. What's that? It's a version of Hamlet with Marcel Spears. Yeah. Lauren Boebert used to have a gun-themed restaurant in Colorado, in Rifle, Colorado, called Shooter's Grill.

The restaurant was scantily decorated beyond two muskets on the wall and a few string lights. It seems like the theme was supposed to come alive mostly in the actual guns that people were allowed to brandish while eating dishes like chicken dunkers and dinner salad. Dinner salad is a great name for a salad. We were like a family, Bobert said. I would say shooters for any employee was their life. We lived and breathed it every day. They were a part

of this culture and brand that we created in Rifle, and there was a lot of pride with that. So, this is a segment where I would like us all to create and build our perfect order from Shooter's Grill in Rifle, Colorado.

I'd like to sprinkle in. Yep. Happy Mother's Day to the best, most beautiful mama guy I could ever ask for. Thanks for putting up with me for 18 years, mama. So. May 26th. I was obviously a problem slash gifted child. I'm seeing shareable desserts.

Does anyone want to go in on something together oh Allie or the fucking cat the baron cream churros anybody this menu is so scant it has sides

go to the sides hard shell taco salad click on sides Amir check out the fucking... This website is terrible. The website is empty. Really? So then maybe you don't have sides.

I maybe jumped the carp on that one. Pork green chili sounds good. So, okay, list out a dish, and then also what kind of gun you would have with that. I'm going to have the pork green chili with an Uzi. Yeah, that's really good. Served with a corn or flour tortilla.

Can I have an AK-47 and a chili cheese fries and grilled chicken? The Little Shooters meal? Yeah, that's what I was just looking at. I think I'm gonna go Little Shooters burger.

Which is a three ounce patty. Yeah. With a sawed off shotgun. And it's a, the Little Shooter Burger is a Little Maverick Smash Burger. That's really good. A Little Maverick for a little shooter. I like that. How about I go in on a grenade

and a Bavarian cream filled churro. I'm gonna get the Ron's heart attack stack with a gat. Cheesecake wontons feels like cultural appropriation. Corned beef hash

and a hat with a side of a fucking gun. So you ran out of guns. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting.

All right, we do have to move on. Full steam ahead. Okay. Wonderful. Who's... Sorry. Who is that? That's Pyle.

That's Pyle. That's Pyle? I don't know if you've met Pyle. I don't think so. Oh, to be... You again. To be you again. To be you again, Brie Pyle.

Oh, God. Also Pyle. What is he... What was he doing? Was he... He's, like, having trouble breathing. I think ever since he had a kid, he has, like, a clogged aorta. Oh, my God.

That sounds serious. Yeah. Yeah, I will okay what's the update how much did we lose and why we still uh we're just pushing on through

are we still rolling yeah we'll just use the boom audio for that four minutes Anya just said that we're good to go boom audio from what four minutes. Anya just said that we're good to go. Boom audio? From what?

From the... Sorry. It's that? He picked it up? You see that he's getting... Hey, Jeff, how's your blood brush? It's hypertense. We'll be right back.

It's hypertense. The heck? This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Guys, if you had an extra hour in your day, how would you spend it? Because I would absolutely fix all of my problems with the extra hour. That's the issue, is that there aren't 25 hours in the day, so I can't become a better version of me. Does that make sense? So I can't become a better version of me.

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that's just going to keep sprinkling through, but... I don't have much left, though. Yeah, all right. I've sort of, you know, I've combed the internet. I feel like I could read a little bit more from that interview you did about how music gives you the comedy

to your life. But no, my druthers recently, is that something I hate or something I love? I think it's like something you have to shoot. We're out of time. We have to start the next segment. I'm sorry.

Welcome to... Hengum Podcast Debates. There's a big election on Tuesday in California. What is it? It's the Democratic primary with an incumbent president. Got it. So not that big, I guess. But I thought that there is a subject matter that I think is worth debating.

I wanted Anya on this episode. She's not available, but it needs to happen. And that's why we will be debating the question. And what's the question? Are we still rolling? Sorry. This theme song's a lot. There we go.

Longer than you thought. The question is, is Studio G truly better than Studio H? Is it goaded? Yes. Studio goaded. Goady. We are going to be doing a Lincoln-Douglas debate. Meaning?

With randomly assigned positions. It will be structured like a Lincoln-Douglas debate. It will be an affirmative construction. Did you do debate in high school? How do you know all these words? I swam. Okay. And I swam.

I swam. Yeah. So far away. So you're learning these words with us. The Lincoln-Douglas thing, you knew that? It's not that hard. It's just a structure of debate. That seems like then you took a debate class or something.

I learned about it in preparation for the episode. People are shocked when I put effort into this shit. There's an affirmative construction, meaning the person arguing that Studio G is better will have three minutes. Because we're doing it half time. It's supposed to be 40 minutes. We're doing it for 20.

Yeah. You have three minutes to set up your argument. Why Studio G is better than Studio H. And I think we should randomly assign now. And then I'll explain the structure so that people can be thinking about it. How does it work with three people? It's going to be teams of two. So I'm going to participate.

Okay. How much did Sidney Sweeney pay you to be in that commercial? I don't want to brag. What? It was scale. I don't want to brag, but it was minimum wage. Okay, ready? Yeah.

I have put a wheel of names together. So this is to prove that this is randomly assigned. And I'm only saying this because if I get assigned Studio G, I don't want people to be like, Jeff prepared his arguments ahead of time, because mine are going to be pretty strong. I also want people to know that if I'm only saying this because if I get assigned Studio G, I don't want people to be like, Jeff prepared his arguments ahead of time because mine are going to be pretty strong. I also want people to know that if I'm assigned that I'm supposed to be saying that Studio H is better than Studio G,

it's going to be tough for me. So here we go. So it seems like you have a lot of caveats about the segment that you started. Who will be arguing for Studio G is going to be Miles. So I have to say that this studio is better than the other one. Exactly right. Absolutely.

Happy to. Thank you. Quiet sound. Okay. Absolutely. Happy to. Happy to. Thank you. Quiet sound effect. Quiet. Very quiet. And then... And then are you assigning everybody else?

No. I'm going to spin it again because who's going to be Miles' teammate rooting for Studio G? Here we go. Spinning the wheel. Quiet. Very quiet sound effect. I hope it's not Jeff. Yes!

Studio G! That is the happiest I've ever seen Jeff. He just screamed. He just, with glee. Look at that. What is that? He was so pissed when this thing stopped recording. It's hard to believe that none of his arguments are going to be pre-planned.

I know, because he clearly did a lot of work on this. We also didn't see the thing spinning. No. It will be. It'll be on the episode. I just can't screen share as well as in Studio H, so in that way, I guess Studio G is not as good. Oh, that's a good one for me and Amir. Ali and Amir will be arguing for Studio H.

Miles and I will be holding it down with Studio Jeff. Absolutely. Alright, here we go. Affirmative construction. Miles and I have three holding it down with Studio Jeff. Absolutely. All right, here we go. Affirmative construction. Miles and I have three minutes on the board to argue for Studio G. Well, first and foremost, I got to say the high ceilings for a guy like me that struggled with being tall my entire fucking life. Really nice to have. I think when you walk into Studio G you get that podcast feeling

of quiet you get that nice nice shelves litter the walls with nothing but sound panels on them there's a poem tables as far as the eye can't see

curtains hungst among the walls purple they may be oh oh i oh i shed a tear upon mine eye for a loft that may be there be seen. What is in the lot? That I don't know. Jeff, take it. To have walls of charcoal is something that has always brought me a smile to see. Not really, you hated charcoal. I think the lighting is there there

compared to Studio H. I don't have to color correct as much. Casey Donahue texted me. He said, and I quote, he said, the lighting in Studio H is also good. He was

lying to not only me, but also himself because I think that the viewers at home would agree and have thus on last week's episode of this show, Dregmints, that people pop off of the charcoal, people's skin tones

are truer to their real nature. The studio setup is spacious. I don't mind that there's posters that could be anything, but we chose to advertise a podcast network that people are already watching.

People are already watching HeadGum. Yet we still advertise. That's free ad space. When Jake Johnson is sitting right where Miles' ass is, he's adorning the studio with energy that we get to pick up on. He puts down the racket, we pick it up, and we're playing. We're just dancing. And I gotta tell you guys,ake johnson being able to sit

where my ass must be hasn't been three minutes been 2 and 15 seconds unbelievably slow and if i may go on a diatribe of course somebody called into my advice podcast and said and asked for advice about a problem then they called called into Jake Johnson Advice Podcast. This is actually, sorry, it's the affirmative construction of Studio G, not so much. Asked for advice from him. Yeah.

And I must say that my advice was better, but I thought it was funny that two HeadGum shows, same guy calling both shows. Wow. Who is this guy? That's why you think Studio G is better than Studio H? And thusly, I must conclude, the walls behind thine eyes are beauty.

They are grace. The G stands for grace. Cream. The G stands for grace. The G stands for grace. The G stands for grace. What's that? Okay, that's the end of our time.

I will say that the next part is a cross-examination from y'all. 90 seconds you have to ask us questions about what we have just set up. So I hope you were listening. I hope you were taking notes. You also get to set up your negative construction. Why is Studio H

better than Studio G? 90 seconds on the board. Have at it. What was the problem? This isn't kind of Lincoln Douglas. Well, you know what I'll say. Sort of the side quest. You said these walls are charcoal, which you like.

I said the walls are hallowed. I think I had bad memories in the other studio. Bad memories. Jeff would panic, run in sweaty. No, no, no. You're not supposed to say it. They're supposed to argue for Studio H. She asked me a question.

Well, you said the color of the walls, which is similar in Studio H, are better here. But they're both charcoal, right? I thought you said you liked a cola or a salmon. Yeah, your whole thing is you love cola. I'm debating, yeah. I feel like it really should be Studio C, cross. Nice. Studio J, Johnson.

I was thinking C, cross. Whatever you want to call that one. G, Jeff. No. You also said you... 40 seconds left for a cross examination. You guys are already losing the debate. Aren't the lights the same, too? A lot of the things you like in that room... It's pretty identical.

...are identical. Well, but these are the circular aperture slash amaran panels. We are not allowed to respond. Softbox. Lincoln Douglas. Was being tall really hard for you? Yeah. This is...

Sorry. Ever since I was a kid... This is just a conversation. No, that's a part of my cross-examination. Put in my lens here. High privilege. Yeah, you can fit in either studio. If anything, the other one's a little bit more cozy.

I was going to say cozy. I can hardly see you. Snug as a bug. Yeah. You're too... Didn't you get scolded? Didn't you get scolded for playing copyright music on the podcast? I'm not a lawyer.

I don't know how to cross-examine. All right. That was pretty weak. I don't know how to cross examine. Alright. That was pretty weak. I'm glad I wasn't paired with Amir. Alright, here we go. Half your time was spent on a poem. I couldn't be that critical. It's hard to cross examine an

extemporaneous poem. Well, now you get to set up your argument. You have three and a half minutes to set up your argument. Oh my gosh. Here's what I will say. This has to be done your argument. You have three and a half minutes to set up your argument for Studio H. Okay. Here's what I will say. This has to be done. Okay.

This is the segment. We're already in the debate. It has to be 20 minutes. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Three minute. Fucker. This has to be done, he said threateningly.

It has to be done. Three and a half minutes on the board. Set up your argument of why Studio H is better. Okay. Okay. All right. What sparks the most joy to you? I would feel, have you ever heard of the first waffle theory? No.

So this, I'm a first waffle. If you're an oldest kid, you're a first waffle. And it's that when you're making waffles, the first one's kind of a tester. And then as you make more waffles, they get better. Yeah. But you have to love the first one the most. Because they showed you the way. And it also

to go from zero to waffle is a great moment. Once you start having second, third, fourth waffle you start getting sick. It's so special. Yeah, you get full. Yeah, you get full. It's too much. The studio as we experienced it was the platonic ideal of a studio. This Studio H, perfect bite this one too

big yeah it's a little bit too big and jeff is a little too far away i can't quite see him i can't see him at all the thing is that room was built as a studio it is glass enclosed it is soundproofed it was created to be a studio this was a a converted green room. It was a conference room. It was a loft. I mean, things are strewn about kind of haphazardly. We did the best with what we could, but this was improvised. This wasn't ever meant to be a studio. So the fact that it looks pretty good is a testament to the people that built it

but it wasn't designed to be this. And you want to talk about butts in the seats. That one's been having famous butts in those seats for years. More. What kind of famous's are in there? You have a minute and 50 seconds left. We know Cross has been there. We know Bateman.

Bateman was here. Bateman was definitely there. Bateman didn't even come in this room. He. We know Bateman. Yeah. Bateman was here. Yeah. Bateman was definitely there. Bateman didn't even come in this room. He didn't even have to. He didn't want to? He didn't even see it. Because this is a secondary space. It's an overflow.

Do you give snacks to Bateman? We offered, but he didn't need slash want. He wouldn't need a thing. He didn't have to have it. He said on Ozark, I didn't have anything. I just can't imagine him chowing down a granola bar. A mozzarella stick. Miles Lincoln Douglas. We will

have time for a classic. And it will be about the snacks. That other studio is also closer to the entrance, so it's like easy access in, easy access out. Also, the other studio has a window, which is kind of fun. You can see in. This is sort of a dark corner lit up. The sound paneling,

though, it completely encloses us. There's white spaces. It seems like we put up as much as we could as quickly as possible, but it's not like professionally done. In the other studio, everything is flush. 40 seconds. Yeah. Down to a T. It's cozy. Who wants a podcast

with more than three people on it? It's overkill. And only that studio has money hidden in it. Oh, yeah. Does Jeff know about the cash? What? Stabled behind the drywall. Yeah. There's yeah. Does Jeff know about the cash? What? It's stapled behind the drywall.

There's treasure? Yeah. You never look behind the painting? Buried treasure. I never thought to. I mean, open this sheet. It just looks out into the backyard. It's just, there is no that in Studio H.

You know what I mean? There's just, everything around you is designed with. What's that? That really sounds like the camera stopped rolling. The sound. End of negative construction and first rebuttal. Beginning cross-examination. Miles, we have 90 seconds.

Make them count. When a famous arrives at the Edgum studio, what studio do you want them to sit g it's gotta be g it's gotta be g because you don't want the famous gotta be g you don't want the famous to be sitting there and then what peeping toms with their penises out looking through the window at them at jason vivian bateman you don't want that you want them in the back with the weird what's up there by the way the loft it looks like it was uh ceilinged off and now you can sort of see through it there's a fiberglass that lets you see through it and what's up there though you can sort of see through it. There's a fiberglass that lets you see through it. And what's up there, though? You can't access it. You can't. It's unaccessible.

It's an artificial ceiling for the out of the studio. Bateman didn't want snacks? No, he wasn't hungry. He wasn't comfortable enough to eat in Studio H. In here, he would have chowed down. It would have been bacchanalian. Granola bites with a yogurt raisin. Prebiotic soda after prebiotic soda until he stayed for an hour.

Until he shit himself raw. Can I tell you what I saw? What? That's not... It's not exactly Lincoln Douglas, but I'll let it slide. Steve-O ate a Go-Gurt. No! Out of his ass ass in Studio H.

And the cross-examination. Here we go. First affirmative rebuttal. What did you see? We are not adhering to the Lincoln-Douglas style. Okay. Well, now you can say it because it's our turn, right? Yeah.

It is not, and I wish it was. Douglas Stein. Okay. Well, now you can say it because it's our turn, right? Yeah. It is not, and I wish it was. You were supposed to be asking us questions just then, and then we were supposed to rebut the questions. And now what are we doing? Now the whole Lincoln-Douglas,

I think, has fell into pieces. Yeah. Yeah. Can Allie tell me her story? Let's do the cross-examination now, and we'll hear Allie's story. This is so not how I wanted this to go. Okay.

It never is, man. It is sometimes. Dregmints was fine. I object. So which part? What are we doing now? Allie's story slash cross-examination. Okay, so I opened the door for Bateman when

he came in, and Anya and Casey were already in the studio. David was in the studio, so it was just me and him. And then David walks out of the studio into the hallway. So now it's three of us there. And David goes, Jason Bateman. Jason Bateman.

And then Jason Bateman, in response, lifts up his sweater, beautiful blue sweater, nips out and goes. And then I was there too. I was in there going, oh my. Was that improvised or was that a thing they do? One minute left in the cross examination. Isn't that cute? They're that close. You know what this is? This is a Lincoln dumbass debate.

Fine. Not you guys. Clearly not. Clearly not. What's the question? We're supposed to ask you guys questions? Ask us questions about Studio H. Basically try to poke holes in our theories. It's better. Spacious.

This isn't good for me. The space? No, I worked hard on both of them. And it looks great. Thank you. It's tell you it looks great However It's really bright in here There does need to be a clear choice

Which is the flagship studio All of Polo Ralph Lauren's stores are amazing But the flagship one on 57th and Park Is gonna be the one they are most excited about God Ugh, what a bummer that you know that. Yeah. I don't think anything I just said was correct.

Phil, 57th and Park. They don't even intersect. I don't, the sound makes me think the GoPro is turning off. It's like really disorienting me. What's that? Moving on to the fucking second negative rebuttal. Okay, what are these rules? I'm so confused.

Yeah, you say Lincoln Douglas. It's not going to be perfect. Lincoln bio debate. I did swimming. I did theater. I didn't do debate. So the Lincoln Douglas we're doing today is my first. It's not going to be perfect.

I'm not getting any help from you guys either, by the way. It seems like you don't even want to do it. I was sort of in debate. So the Lincoln-Douglas we're doing today is my first. It's not going to be perfect. I'm not getting any help from you guys either, by the way. It seems like you don't even want to do it. I was sort of in debate, but it wasn't called debate. What was it called? Something else. Math. No, what's the word? There's a word for it. It's like... Rhetoric. Something like that. Like, I was on something where we went and we had to argue. Junior trial

or something? Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Lincoln Council? Lincoln Lawyer? It was Lincoln Logs. We were in Lincoln Logs. Yeah, I lived in a house. I did swimming. I did theater. I did debate. Who can ask for anything more?

Who can ask for anything more? Who can ask for anything more? Studio G wins. What? I think so The entire thing fell I know you think so Because you're on one fucking side

Yeah, because you're on our team I'm not even saying that's the end of the debate I'm just saying Studio G wins That's my opinion Yeah, it obviously is your opinion Why don't we let the people decide? Okay I mean, the question

The question I have is When a famous comes and they say I want to podcast a head gum, Mr. Emil Blumenfeld What studio do you put them in? Sorry, why did the famous person that you just imitated have like a lisp? Couldn't say they're ours or something.

Like a five-year-old. Next question. There are no questions. It was supposed to be a Lincoln-Douglas debate. It's done. Let the people weigh in. We'll decide. Lincoln-Douglas. Let It's done. Let the people weigh in. We'll decide. The commenters. Lincoln-Douglas.

Let's do JFK-Nixon. Yeah. Let's fucking... Turn off the GoPro. And you guys... October 9th, 2010. Photo of a mellow yellow. And I said...

Nothing. No content. He was 13 at the time. That's right. No contact. He was 13 at the time. That's right. If you're listening to this,

vote in the comments. Type Studio G or Studio H and we'll tally the votes and on next week's episode, we will know who won. What? These really either go well or they go bad. So we'll wait a week.

When they go low, we go fine. Okay. I have to pick up my son soon. Where is he? I don't know. Jesus. I knew this might happen. I knew the debate might not have been there there.

Yeah. But there there. Of course. I came up with a backup plan. Uh oh. I don't think we laughed enough in this episode. Laughed a lot. Oh.

Yeah, okay. Okay, well, the comments are going to disagree, because even when an episode is perfect, in my eyes, people hate it. What's one perfect episode for you? The post-nuptial episode is my favorite episode we've done in a while. That was a while ago, though. Dregments was good. Dregments was fine.

All right. Stressconsolesystem.co.uk By the way this is a terrible function For the studio that we're looking behind Yeah I have to go like this And it's upside down and I can't see it We didn't laugh a lot during this episode We did but I guess you pre-wrote that So we'll go along with it

This is my backup plan if the Lincoln-Douglas debate wasn't participated in well. Well, I'll participate for about seven more minutes. This is... Who is this? So why don't you guys follow his instructions? Interesting, isn't it? No, seriously, put your hands like that in front of your eyes. Follow his instructions.

You might need to push your chairs back a little bit, guys, for this. And just go like that. All together. Good. That's easy, isn't it? It doesn't have to be too hard. Just once more. Okay.

Just lift your feet up and put your feet down like that. Again. What is this boring Simon song? Yo, what the fuck is this? Just laugh. And again. What? Just laugh?

Okay. Remember that. What I want you to do is push your stomach out. What is this video called? It's called How to Laugh. No, he's teaching people how to appear as though they're laughing. How to make yourself laugh instantly. Leave stress and worry. Okay, wait. Sorry, he's teaching people how to appear as though they're laughing. How to make yourself laugh instantly.

It relieves stress and worry. Okay, wait. Sorry, you're missing the instruction. I feel like I'm going to give myself a hernia. Learn how to laugh. Is this what Pyle was doing when you got that? If you guys aren't going to take this seriously,

then maybe you don't deserve to laugh. We were laughing. Oh, my God. Just follow his instruction. Ready? Check it out. This is bizarre. This really makes me upset. This is the happiest I've seen you this whole time. Jeff is loving it. I don't know if I've ever seen you this happy. I don't like this guy. This fucking weirdo.

He's teaching aliens how to laugh. Jeff is like having breathing problems over there. He's having an aneurysm. The fuck is that? Try it. Can we all give it a college try? I just want all four of us to be doing that. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That was the worst. I mean, so you saying that we weren't laughing enough this whole episode was just building up to that? That was a Hiddem Original.