The Headgum Podcast - 195: Critiquing Classical

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

Amir, Allie, and Casey join Geoff to critique each other / classical masterpieces. Plus, Geoff inspires Allie!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. You've got to assume at this point in your career, anything you do is going to affect Jake, and anything Jake does will affect you. Yes. Right? That's right.

The goal is to be the last person that has to distance themselves for the other. Would you ever, even if it tanks your career, would you ever prank him by destroying his? That would be kind of interesting. Sort of like in a, yeah, I'm taking you down with me style. Yeah. Flash mob in a way. Yeah. Be quite a turn right like you'll turn yeah it's like a w ultimately isn't good but then it's like at the very least i'm feeling

something new again ready kind of but like why it's not that funny But you don't get the torture Element of it It's not torture Is that what you're implying? I'm implying that hearing a loud clanging metal pipe Is torturous It pipe is torturous. It's not torturous. That's how we come back from the break.

Yeah, it's torturous and how we come back from the break. Yeah. Sorry. Would you mind putting on your headphones? Well, that's what I was saying. I feel like I don't need to wear the headphones because I can hear you guys. We're all here. There's no Zoom aspect.

Oh, you don't feel like you need to wear the headphones? Correct. Then why am I wearing them? So you can hear the sound effects? Yeah, you're the producer, the engineer. Yeah, making sure the levels are fine. Right. That's am I wearing them? So you can hear the sound effects? Yeah, you're the producer, the engineer. Yeah, making sure the levels are fine. That's what I was going to say. Are you recording? Ali has both cans

on. Casey has one. You have none. So it's a nice grading. We have everything covered. I heard the clapping. Don't need it. The sound effects are mixed so loudly that I can hear it ambiently

through other people's headphones okay well what about this one a softer one what's that it was Casey saying what's that how did you hear that cause I can

it's loud yeah alright um really loud let's just yeah there's no way around it

you have to go through Bond of the Week but here go through Bond of the Week, but here it is, Bond of the Week. My pick is... Sorry. I didn't edit from last week, so it still says James Bond Street. So why don't you guys go first,

and I'll figure out what's on the way. Yannick Sinner. Who? Yannick Sinner. He just won the Australian Open. He's northern Italian, very tall, very slender. Great head of hair.

Looks great, and I'm not done. Looks great in a suit. Speaks multiple languages. I thought you were going to say... He's a professional skier and a professional tennis player. He's... Yes. I thought you were going to say eunuched sinner. What's that? Somebody who has

for lack of a better term, kind of gone against God's will so many times that they don't deserve balls to have. To have, yeah. Beautiful singers. Ionic singers.

Again, we just gotta make it through. Robert Broccoli, we're calling upon you Have you guys ever called upon someone To do something? Because that's what's happening right now Is that I'm begging Broccoli To make the choice You know?

It's like Roy Wood Jr. at the Emmys I can't tell what you're mouthing Please hire a host. Oh. And then they just went back with Jon Stewart. Oh. Yeah, I guess. For the Daily Show.

Yeah. What is this? I don't know who Roy Wood Jr. is. He's a comedian who was a correspondent on the Daily Show. Everybody thought he was going to be the next host, and then they just went back to Jon Stewart because his Apple show got cancelled because of Apple's corporate interests.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They could handle the show for the three years in between presidential elections but oh yeah, it would actually help Apple for another Trump presidency to happen. Why? Yeah, why?

Looser sanctions. Looser sanctions. That's my Bond of the Week. Your Bond of the Week is Looser Sanctions and Eunuch Sinner. Yannick Singer. That's what I meant to say. I feel like I don't mean to trace it all back to this, but it's the fact that the walls are

not... Oh my god. Salmon. That I've been off my game the past few weeks. are not. Oh my God. Cola. Salmon. I've been off my game the past few weeks. Diet C. Loser sanctions or loser sanctions? That's a good question. My favorite position is GEO. Ally, do you have a bottom of the week?

Andre Agassi. Okay. Another tennis playerassi. Okay. Another tennis player. Yeah. Casey? Victor Wimbayama. Nice. Tall and skinny, isn't it?

Finally, we made it past. I wanted to talk to you guys about something. What? I feel like we didn't delve into the Victor of it all. Wimbandiyama. Wimbandiyama. Fine. What more do you want to say about it? Not me.

Amir does. Yeah, Amir. Have at it. I feel like I've actually pitched him before. Okay. Sounded familiar. So we don't need to dive into it. Check the database.

Yeah. Ferrari adds Lewis Hamilton. Yeah. Replacing Carlos Sainz. You guys hear about this? No. I saw you post, Jeff. Is this what this is?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Casey, plug the pit wall and then also how do you feel? Yeah, the pit wall. It's a Formula One podcast for casual fans. Lewis Hamilton is a Formula One driver. Maybe the best to ever do it. Seven-time world champion.

Looking for his eighth. And he's been driving with Mercedes for years. And he's leaving the team for Ferrari. Ferrari. That's crazy. Why did he leave?

We don't know yet. I'm guessing What did you say? You said why did he leave and I said why didn't you chant? Because I was saying Ferrari. And you didn't join. I don't know what that is. said, why did he leave? And I said, why didn't you chant? Because I was saying, Ferrari, Ferrari, and you didn't join. I don't know what that is. Anyway, why did he leave? It's Ferrari with an Italian accent.

Yeah, sorry. I'm guessing he didn't think Mercedes was going to be competitive for a bit. Did they pay him? Is that how it works in F1? Yeah, they definitely get paid to drive the cars. So how much did he get paid like before versus now oh he's definitely one of the highest paid drivers uh i don't know exactly what their contracts are but it's uh somewhere between like 50 and 80 million a year i think i think that's over like four years okay over for like four years before years before verse ferrari years

before verse ferrari years sure Before years? Before versus Ferrari years? Before versus Ferrari years? Sure. Moving on to permanent jewelry. What do you guys think? I can't stomach it. Right? No, not for me. Not for me either.

Yeah. What would be permanent? What kind of jewelry is permanent? Bracelets, necklaces. Why permanent? Yeah, why permanent? would be permanent what kind of jewelry is permanent uh bracelets necklaces you'll go you'll go to the jeweler and they almost like they use like a like a little burning thing so yeah you can't into your skin no no idiot around your wrist i'm trying to learn it's just like welded around your ass. So it'll never it'll never fall.

And then if you decide you're over it and you want to get it taken off you have to go back to a place and have them like and I assume Not permanent at all. Yeah.

It's like a tattoo. You can get it removed but it's not easy. What is permanent? Sure. You know If you're lazy. The only way that I can see

this being useful is in terms of chastity. Meaning? Just, you know, the permanent belts of it all just like welded onto your glands. Does that make sense? I don't mean to get too crass early in the episode. I just am saying that's, oh, I can see how that would be useful. Yeah.

Useful to who? To those who wish to stay chaste. I think it's mostly like little bracelets. Yeah. And I get that. I get that for sure. Yeah. I mean, you know, yeah.

Do you think chastity belt wearers are the ones who want to be wearing it? You don't believe that someone else is making them wear it? That's a really good question. I think they want someone else to make them wear it. I'm pretty sure someone else is making them wear those things. I know, but they want the person to making them wear it? That's a really good question. I think they want someone else to make them wear it. I'm pretty sure someone else is making them wear those things. I know, but they want the person to make them wear it. I mean, it was the Jonas Brothers' parents that wanted them to wear their chastity rings.

Yeah, which honestly could have been permanent jewelry. Not really. But a ring that's permanent just has to be sized thus that you couldn't have slid it on and you can't get it past the knuckle. I don't want to have this conversation anymore. Please,

moving on. Moving on to Curb Your Enthusiasm is back and then gone. How do we feel? And also, what's going to replace it? I feel like we could have an Amir-style show.

That'd be cool. So instead of Curb Your Enthusiasm, it's like Curb Stomp Your Boss and have an orgasm. It didn't exactly work. I just was wondering if your teeth are gone it didn't work at all I know but I was like it was a thread

it was a pitch I would say Curb Your Enthusiasm was one of the funniest television shows of all time I agree 12 seasons is a lot

okay so he gave it more than enough he did a great job and I'm sad to see it gone but 25 years on TV

that's a lot yeah but only 12 seasons in 25 years on TV, that's a lot. Yeah. But only 12 seasons in 25 years. So it takes time to reload and get inspired. Yeah. I haven't really seen, uh, the last like six seasons.

They're good. Uh, for, for whatever reason, when they changed from like it looking shitty to it looking a little nicer, I was like, I don't think I want to watch this now. Yeah.

Also HD version. Yeah. I feel like he's, you know, I love Larry David, but he has started to look worse. So it's like,

that's when you really should be softening the aesthetic. You shouldn't be like seeing everything in 4K. Yeah, I really think I would have watched Curb all the way through

if they stayed in like standard definition, even today. Interesting. If you want to spend more money on the aesthetic, you should shoot on film. Sure, yeah. Did you see the Seinfeld reunion season?

I did watch that one, yeah. That was fantastic. I think that one still looked shitty. If I remember correctly. I like the one where they put up the producers. Because Ben Stiller's in it. I mean, if I remember correctly. I like the one where they put up the producers. Because Ben Stiller's in it. I mean, every season is great. Was that your idea for that segment right there?

No, I actually think we could pitch in a mere vehicle. But, you know, nobody wants to play along with me today. So let's just move on, I guess. All right, here we go. This is not a segment. It's just something that i wanted to share so uh it's a video of people making a belt you wanted to show us this just let's all watch i guess it's kind of cool there's no audio leather

working it's a nice looking belt this is is like a classic TikTok you get served. You're just like, why am I watching this? And it's 11.49pm. I should go to bed. Watch this. Watch this. And you keep watching it and you realize it's like 45 minutes. Yeah.

That was cool. Pretty good. Like, the process of watching this is oddly satisfying, as the internet would say. Yeah. watching this is oddly satisfying as the internet would say yeah but what i wanted to run by you guys is the uh the final belt kind of looks like shit right it's like four inches wide like no one's gonna wear that yeah that was like a size 12 thick as shit yeah just more about the process of making it when they punch a hole does it separate or is it literally

removing that leather as a circle if that makes sense there's also like text on the screen that's really small that's like and then Jeff turned it off nevermind then I guess um small that's like narrow. And then Jeff turned it off. Never mind then, I guess. Now I don't need the headphones on.

I hear the sound effects outside of the headphones. That's right. Yeah. Okay. Pretty good episode so far so far we've done bond of the week and looked at a belt and i think that's the perfect time to yeah

yeah Yeah. See you later, Amir. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Guys, if you had an extra hour in your day, how would you spend it? Because I would absolutely fix all of my problems with the extra hour. That's the issue, is that there aren't 25 hours in the day. So I can't become a better version of me. Does that make sense? But maybe you would want to go for a run or go for a nap or go for reading a book because a lot of us spend our times wishing that we had more time in our day. And the question is time for what? Because if time was unlimited,

had more time in our day. And the question is, time for what? Because if time was unlimited, how you would use it would infer your mental health and your happiness and your joy. The best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and make it a priority. Therapy can help you find what matters to you. So you can do more of it. I'm in therapy every week.

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There it is. There it is. There it fucking is. We're back yet again with that Friday feeling on a Thursday. But it's coming out next Friday. So like February 9th or something? Sure, yeah. So we'll have survived the atmospheric river. Are you familiar with this?

Yes, there's a moisture belt just whipping through california creating unprecedented yes a super storm creating five six seven eight inches of rain absolutely which is like usually an entire winter's worth of moisture just all happening absolutely in one three to four days swoop i would say yeah is that crazy and we just got a sampler of it today, and it was a lot. It was an any teaser sampler platter in terms of the torrential downpour. By the time this gets released, we'll have either survived or not. Or not. That's what I was going to say.

Exactly. Because the mudslides, especially with your house. The implications of it are potentially devastating. Your house could slide off the hill. The ramifications spread from San Diego to San Francisco. Yeah. San Miguel to San Gabriel. Hundreds of miles

of coastline. All the sands. All the sands are turning into sands. Because it's basically creating this wet, dirt, mud, sliding,

moisture, never-ending, unrelenting moisture system. Ever unrelent. That's what I was going to say. Where,

because, at no point nobody's going to ever understand what could happen with that. Because next Friday, let's say the fucking 9th. That's when we'll know. Exactly.

If we had survived this. So we're recording this now. So edit this fast so you don't have to worry about power, electricity going out, wind. I don't mind, yeah. Gale force winds whipping, creating power line outages, internet outages. It's all in play. creating power line outages, internet outages.

It's all in play. This is a segment I like to call critiquing classical. You're yelling. You're not wearing your headphones. It's very loud. You really need your headphones for this one. Done. Before it continues, this is a segment I like to call Critiquing Classical.

I think something, you know, they say when you're like, you know, writing a piece, right? Whether it's music, whether it's a script, to put people together, characters together that have instant tension, you know? characters together that have instant tension you know like for instance um there's nothing that like i don't know peter macarthur you know would say that i would agree with really nothing like he and i are like two opposite ends of the spectrum in a certain way have you ever met him i think i've said four words to the guy but that's because we don't have much to talk about you know what i mean you said four words and you don't think he agreed with that all four of them

were in opposition to him I could see it in his eyes so my point is like if you put Peter and I in a room that's instant tension

and there's gonna be some like you know interesting conversations if nothing else if not you know hilarity ensuing

so I thought that what we could do is pair classical masterpieces with modern dumbassery which is to say we're going to listen to some classical music on the show and see how that informs the rest of the show if you have any critiques about me the piece or each other or the world at large save them while the music plays. Sure. And we have been having discussions here

about, you know, playing music. But that's copyrighted music. So this is not copyrighted. Public domain. Public domain. And like the performances are also not.

Those are copyrighted. Yeah. The piece is not. The recording is. So we don't really know the legal ramifications of what's about to happen. I know, but we also don't know how fun it might be to have. Yeah.

It doesn't sound like it's that good. Just because you're saying, let's listen to classical music. Yeah, my understanding is you want us to just do the show while classical music is playing. But it's also kind of a druthers situation. I wanted to see if I created this, what I like to call it a container, an arena, that we can all play within. Where it's like, okay, now we get what's happening versus just like, what the fuck are we all talking about? Sure. I also want there to be a critical bend to this.

So, you know, let me see what I can kind of pick you guys apart for. Oh, you're going to criticize us? Oh, I thought we were criticizing the song. Or the song. Criticize anything. Okay. Yeah. Casey, have you ever been to Waltz?

You wear this Waltz hat all the time. Oh, yeah. I go to Waltz all the time. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. Do you wear that hat at Waltz? No, never. And that's the thing.

So whenever you're not with at Waltz, you have the hat. Whenever you're at Waltz, you don't have the hat. I don't wear the Waltz hat at Waltz. Correct. Okay. And you know what? They don't make the yellow anymore. You're right.

I'm not loving the way that the music is swelling there. You put the music on. No, I know. Oh! You're critiquing. Right? It's a little in your face, the music. I'm saying maybe there's beauty in subtlety.

So you want us to critique the music now? Critique anything that you're thinking of. Okay. Yeah. See? I don't think this is a good idea. This segment? Yeah.

See, that's a good jumping off point. What would make it better? No classical music. But the whole segment is like the classical music then to it. Does that make sense? Yeah. That's what I don't like about it. Okay.

Well, that's a good start. Do you know what this piece is? Am I allowed to look at my laptop make sense? Yeah. That's what I don't like about it. Okay. Well, that's a good start. Do you know what this piece is? Am I allowed to look at my laptop? Sure. Sure. It's Don Giovanni's Overture from Mozart. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. It's good. Thank you.

No, that's the wrong thing to do, actually. You're supposed to be critiquing shit. It's like a Casey's Druthers, a Marika's Druthers, an Amir's Druthers, and an Ali's druthers. But nobody's saying anything. You're just kind of staring at me. Because we're trying to wrap our heads around what is happening. Well, isn't it more difficult because of the classical music?

It is. Yes, exactly right. Yeah, it's harder. Critique that. Critique shit. I did. I said the segment's not good. We are critiquing the segment.

That's not constructive. That's just negative. I was saying you should stop playing the classical music. It's not a segment. Then it's just us talking. Right. That's fine. Is it? I don't think that's not constructive. That's just negative. I was saying you should stop playing the classical music. Then it's not a segment. Then it's just us talking. Right, that's fine. Is it? I don't think that's enough.

It's milk toast. The music makes it a container, I said. An arena to play with. It's a plan. It is. Now it's more fun. Thank you. And now there's like a little bit of whimsy going on, which I'm not sure.

Yeah. You're not sure if you like? No, I like the song. You think it's good for the show? I just don't know if we're vibing with it because everybody's just staring me dead at the eyes. Well, let's be honest. The song slaps.

Thank you. Okay. All right. This is actually pretty dope. Yeah. What do you want me to do? Say Mozart? I have a note for him?

If you don't have a note for Mozart, what about a note for the show, a note for Casey, a note for Amir, a note for your ass? He did give the note for the show? A note for Casey? A note for Amir? A note for your ass? He did give the note for the show. I feel like,

I fear that you guys both took the headphones off and it's not. I can hear it. I can hear it from the headphones being down here. I know, but then it's like,

you're not, yeah. I'm not immersing myself in the music. They're not in the container. The arena. The arena. You're not in the arena if you don't have

the headphones on. Do you love Mozart in the Jungle? Are you sad it got canceled? I don't know what that on. Do you love Mozart in the Jungle? Are you sad it got canceled? I don't know what that is. Have you seen Amadeus? Amadeus, you see it? Ever heard of it?

I had to watch that. I know that's his middle name. Is that a show? Yeah, it is a good movie. See, now's the time where it's swelling in the cans and you're not experiencing the same thing as me. Because, yeah, it's so loud the way you put it in our headphones. So I like the way

it sounds from a distance. Are you going to edit that audio in or just have it bleed through our microphones? Were you in band growing up? I was, um,

I had to play the clarinet growing up. Okay. Had to? Yeah. Why? You had to learn an instrument in school.

So I had to learn in my school. I chose the clarinet. No school in Florida. They got rid of instruments. They don't have any instruments. Can you sing in there? No, it's footloose.

It's footloose rules down there. No dancing or singing. Strict no rejoicing. Right? You said you had to play the clarinet but it seems like you had to play an instrument.

An instrument. You chose the clarinet. I chose the clarinet but what am I going to play? The viola? You can play a guitar. That was not an option. Believe me, I would have played the guitar.

I did French horn. Yeah? Yeah. How's this going, do you think? It's not going well. Really? I feel like it was half-baked of an idea. No, and I get that.

It's now kind of, to me, sounding like Jeff's internal soundtrack. I see. He's going a little bit crazy. This is what it... Like, this is a little too sophisticated for what is actually happening in Jeff's head. Yeah.

But I think the emotion... Dissonance. I thought that there would be cognitive dissonance. Trying to... I don't even know when your sentences end because it's so loud in my headphones. So take it off. I can't because then we're not in the arena, the container.

Yeah. It's like he's resenting the arena that he put us in. The container he created. Yeah. It's hard because I did so much to like help you guys. And then I start to resent how much I did to help you. Right. Yeah.

What did you do to help us? Just kind of set up the. Container? Container, yeah, the arena. To play within, right? Because then it's like that's half the battle. Let's look at the belt video again. I think there was some more there to mine from.

We left that pretty fertile soil. There was two more songs, but it went so poorly that I feel like we have to figure something out. You want us to do this for another 10 minutes? I thought it was going to be a 20-minute segment where we were all just going to dive into each other and kind of argue over classical. We did that. You want to argue, but I don't think the music was making us want to argue.

And also you kind of made it seem like you wanted us to point out things about each other that we don't like. I don't mind that. Or that we could work on. Yeah. And then you said to note myself. I don't, I'm not giving any notes.

Well, actually, it's good that you brought that up because I could do this again. I took this little video. I'll take a photo now on the last recording we did. You're wearing the same boots that we did the last recording. And I noticed how your ankles only feel like half of the boot. Half the screen, half the boot, yeah. And ankles. No, that'll never not be a mystery for me.

I just took a photo. I'll send it to you. A lot of slack between the heel and his Achilles. You can see the criticism I'm talking about. Yeah. Because it's hard to find shoes that have a thin opening like that. Well, it's hard to find out. That Casey's been thinking about this for a week.

Three days, three days. Okay, yeah, because we did this on Tuesday. Yeah. Oh, that camera's not facing you anymore. Are you using the GoPro? Yeah. It does look better a little bit on these monitors. What, the GoPro?

Yeah. Yeah, I set up everything to look correct. I appreciate that. When they are pointing in the right direction. Right direction. That's what I was going to say. And is the show heading in the right direction? You tell us.

All right, I'm sending you all this picture of Jeff's ankle. Okay. Slack or? Texted it. Yeah. Yeah. Like you could really, if you zoom in, you could really see how much space is in there in that boot.

Yeah, look at that. Yeah. It reminds me of like the... The viewers will be seeing this. It's hard because like... Let me send you what it reminds me of. Yeah. Because these boots are my size through the foot.

Not through the ankle. Yeah. And you can't know that from ordering boots online. They don't have an ankle size. You can email customer support. You think I'm going to email those fuckers? I do. I think you'll email them right now.

Hindsight 2020, I would have ordered a half size down. But any smaller than that, I would have given me blisters for sure. It would have been me blisters for sure. Oh, my God. that I would have given me blisters for sure it would have been me blisters for sure oh my god they put it to a fan vote if they want the new NBA logo to be that or Kobe and that edges it out can't you see the similarities though I get it you sort of have yeah I see the similarity in like the ankle area for sure. You wanted criticism!

Yeah, not that personal! Right? You know I'm sensitive about my thankles. What do you want? This is body shaming. Right? I wanted you to be like, oh, you know, Jeff's hair is off. Jeff's like waist is too. Your hair looks good.

Now you're mad at me? No, let's just, yeah. Did you shampoo it recently? It does look like curlier almost. Yeah, I shampooed it today. Sorry. I just got to. Oh, I'm supposed to record the HeadGum podcast right now.

You have an alert for a recording that's a half hour after the recording is supposed to start? Yeah, that way I get the alert being like, you are exactly where you're supposed to be. Uh-huh. You know, I was reading this article today that said the psychology of New Year's resolutions, which two weeks ago we doled out resolutions. I figured, A, we could kind of check in on those because they were saying that it's more successful to set a goal for the new year in February, statistically, than it is in January. So I wanted to check in.

Amir, how's that youth? Are you embodying young? That wasn't my resolution. That's the one I gave to you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I had the flu, and then I've been sick for all of January, really. Yeah.

It's not really embodying young, sort of feeling old. Yeah, but in a way, kids get sick often because they're still building that immunity. Do you feel like you're on the upswing of your immunity, or do you feel like you're on the downswing of life? Well, I turned 41, so that feels like I'm, yeah, just slightly over that. Yeah. Hill. Okay. Average age-wise.

Well, I think by the time, like, you're 80, they're going to come up with, like, some medicine, some science stuff where you'll be able to live to, like, 120, I think. Yeah. And do you think that the medicine's going to be colloidal silver or? I haven't looked into the science yeah i don't know exactly how they're gonna make it happen but i do believe we are all gonna be living and working into our hundreds imagine being 108 and going to an office. At some point, that song's gonna be like a greatest hit. Yeah.

It's gonna be a classic when we're 100 something. The grainy version? Yeah. Yeah. The oldies channel will be playing Fetty Wap.

I got broads in Atlanta. Yeah. What? I was in here when we did the New Year's resolution episode You were here for the My wrist hit the Trackpad, yeah You got the opposite problem of your ankles with your wrists Yeah

They're huge They kind of protrude like Yeah Like a Tetris piece Well I brought in the flamp with your wrists. Yeah. That they're huge. They kind of protrude like... Yeah. Yeah. Like a Tetris piece. You were there... Well, I brought in the flan.

You brought in the flan, yeah. And, um... Oh, do you want me to dole out a resolution for you? Yeah, I'd love one. I'm worried that every episode this year is gonna be me like doling out resolutions,

checking in on resolutions. You're worried about that? Yeah. So don't do it. You're in charge. If you're worried about something about this show just do the opposite we did talk about

on that episode that you've been to a lot of places where the veil is thin the veil is thin? yeah you know you've been to Ojai you've been to Topanga my fear for you is that you're not grounding yourself enough in this spiritual dimension this realm that's fair no it's not i just like you don't want to be so far yeah gone yeah stay grounded don't my heads are my head is too in the cloud beyond the clouds i mean

it's out of the stratosphere right and that's my fear for you. I'm listening. Yeah, but you're not agreeing. I want to see where you're going to go with it. I'm already almost there. So at this point you should have been agreeing or not.

I can't agree with... I want Allie to go to places where it's like you're nowhere near the veil. Okay. So, you know,

veil. Fucking. like you're nowhere near the veil okay so you know veil uh cincinnati uh louisville san diego what's that have you been to cincinnati i have been in the airport have you been to louisville i have been there did you go to to the Louisville Slugger factory? No, I went to the library bar. Okay. Okay, so you... Places where there's like, it's kind of a spiritual void. A thicker air? A thicker air, yeah.

Sort of something that's weighing you down physically. And for the, I, think theme parks, think commerce. Right. Yeah. Okay. That sounds awful. Not like a resolution I've ever heard of for sure.

It sounds honestly not like a resolution. Yeah. It sounds like an itinerary. It sounds like a mandate. Yeah. Yeah. So you want Allie to like go to Epcot? Go to Vail.

Go to Epcot. Places where the Vail is thick. Yeah. Enjoy some thick air. Yeah. Great. So how's that been going for you so far? Well, it hasn't happened yet. January. go to Epscot places where the veil is thick yeah enjoy some thick air yeah great so how's that been going for you so far

well it hasn't happened yet January I think since I've been set out on my quest so far I'm doing okay I've never been to Vail I've been to Louisville this year though

yeah in terms of this year's resolution uh no I've just been here this whole month I've just been here. This whole month I've just been here.

Especially this episode. Yeah. What's that? Um, Casey, your resolution was go Hollywood. How's the funding coming for the two movies that you have? One is kind of on a bigger scale, one is on a lower scale. Uh, yeah, uh, I'm working on them. Something will be made this year, I you that i make that promise i'll make that promise to the listeners hold me accountable yeah i'm gonna

make a movie it's happening i had a meeting last week with my producers okay figuring out you know the the pre-production stuff scheduling budgeting and do you think do you think that they actually are the real dealer? Do you think that they're going to string you along and they're not going to get the money? And then it's going to be like, guys, guys, where are you? You know, where are we at on this? And they're like, oh, yeah, we're almost there. We're almost going to start producing. These guys know.

I'm making a movie with a close-knit group of people. And how are you doing getting into that close-knit circle? Not well. I invited him to the table read. Oh, interesting. And I would have heard him play one of the parts, considering casting him. Wow. And he did not come. Did not show. Yeah, did not show up at all.

Did he say he was going to come? I don't remember. Did you say you were going to come and you just flaked? I said I could come to one of the days and then you did it on a different day. No, i i remember uh i did it specifically on the day that you said you could and then you said you were tired i believe no no no it's that my dad is severely immunocompromised and he asked if i could lay low before i traveled home interesting you didn't relay that to me i think think I did. I don't think so. He would have remembered severely immunocompromised.

That's a pretty terrifying two words to hear. I mean, let's be honest, as long as we're critiquing. Casey's been absent for the past couple of months. All you can think about are these projects, which is, by the way, part of the reason his reason his nearest resolution that I'm giving him is to go Hollywood It's like just make the movie so you can stop talking about it Sounds like I think you talk about it more than I do That's true I'll have to shampoo your hair

once a week yeah you guys never ask me any questions about me let's get some questions for good old Jeff do you condition yeah

do you have a skin care regimen I do what is it it's drop it king yeah drop it king drop it king drop it king

it keeps happening and it gets more atmospheric and I wake up in a cold sweat. Sarah V. In the shower. Sorry. I do the same. Sorry to make it about me.

Talk about the movie. I don't want to. That was you stealing the floor. Tell me, what kind of SaraheraVe do you use? How much money do you need? How much money do you need to stop talking about the funding? To stop talking about the meetings with producers? I'll give you 10 grand to put a sock in it.

CeraVe in the shower. Foaming face. Lotion-wise. Are you so happy about the Michael Cera campaign? I'm indifferent. I don't like it. What difference does it make to me cleansing my face if there's a celebrity endorsement or not?

Oh, it makes every difference to me. You like it? I love it. You love it? I love celebrity endorsements. Okay. Yeah. I love it.

I'll buy something. I'm susceptible. If I think that someone cool likes it, I'll get itments. Okay, yeah. I love it. I'll buy something. I'm susceptible. If I think that someone cool likes it, I'll get it too. Interesting. Interesting. You're an alpha consumer. Yeah. Don't just repeat what I'm saying.

I'm trying to be more like your ass. Is that alpha or is it beta because it's kind of follower? It's alpha. As someone that just repeated what I said. Said, yeah. I'm obviously a leader. It's CeraVe in the shower. Like foaming face.

There's a lot of different CeraVe soaps you could be using. Is it a drama? Is it a dramedy? You obviously want to talk about the movie. You keep interrupting me. And you're trying to make it seem. I'm trying to get more details out of your routine. Like it's about my routine,

but it's really just about how much cash you want us to write you checks for. I have not mentioned money at all today. You've mentioned the movie and meetings with producers. You brought it up. You mentioned the table read. You mentioned the CeraVe. It doesn't matter. Non-foaming CeraVe. It doesn't matter.

Non-foaming CeraVe in the shower. Great. Fucking moisturizer. What kind? It's Dr. Something. That's every day. Shoals? That's for feet. That's for feet.

You've been putting feet moisturizer on your face. My derm has said that my facial skin and structure is akin to a foot. that my facial skin and structure is akin to a foot. Okay. No, I'm pulling up the actual name of it right now. You guys are free to talk amongst yourselves so that the onus isn't always fucking on me. And don't say, oh, but you host the show. I can't make something out of nothing.

You just said, why don't you guys ask me questions? Then we did, and then you got mad. Now you're mad. It's like La Roche-Posay or something, right? Oh, yeah. I always, yeah. Yeah, I call that La Roche-pussy. Oh, yeah.

I can see that. Me too. Because there's like a little bit of pussy left. Yeah. You want to get high off of it. And you wear that on your face. Is that an everyday thing or? And pride.

I wear it on my face in pride. Okay. Okay, French? French moisturizer. Unbelievable. So that's nice. Good for you. Drop your guys' face routine or whatever. I'm still trying to

pull it up because it's not La Roche-Depose. I actually don't think. It's something else. It's doctor something. I use CeraVe foaming facial cleanser in the shower and then CeraVe moisturizer. I kind of gathered that

because you were really, really hoping that he was using foaming too, I felt. You really took the floor right there. You just said talk about our facial cleansing routines. I just think it's interesting how comfortable you were in taking the floor. There should You just said talk about our facial cleansing routines. I just think it's interesting how comfortable you were

in taking the floor. There should be some tepidness in how you approach I was piggybacking off of the fact that you also use CeraVe. Do you use CeraVe because Alex Albon

is a skinfluencer for it? I use CeraVe because Alex Berkman mentioned it. Why did you pick the clarinet? You seem more oboe. Because they didn't

have the oboe. The school had the fucking instruments. You just had to bring your own reeds. Lou or otherwise. This is not going the way I want it to. You don't think it's going well? No. I walked into the office and I said it was going to be an amazing episode.

Why? It was developed I walked into the office. I said it was going to be an amazing episode. Why? I don't know how to... It was developed so that you guys would have fun during it. It was loose. It wasn't like, oh, like Jeopardy. It wasn't like quote match. It was like, what about something that's a little bit looser where we get to talk about our skin routines

where Casey has the space and time to talk about his fucking funding. You said you had a perfect segment for Anya. I said I have a perfect game going for Anya. Radio free. Yeah, and that she should come at the 20 to 40 minute mark. Did you think the classical music section was something that she would really like

slash want to participate in? She loves Mozart. And that was a Mozart original. She does? Yeah, it was on her, it was her second most listened to artist on her Spotify. She was Mozart for Halloween. That's right.

Yeah. It's actually such a good costume. Gold Faden MD Vital Boost Moisturizer. It's not cheap, but it works well. No free pub. Uh-uh. Yeah, I'm going to block that out of my memory of the episode and a black bar. Bam, blam, oh.

Gold Faden MD Bright Eyes for Dark Circles. at a black bar. Bam, blam, oh. Cold, faded, empty, bright eyes for dark circles. Aw, that's so nice. And then, I usually use SkinCeuticals Vitamin C Serum,

but that's too expensive, so I've been not using that. Yeah. Yeah. What about you guys? I actually don't use anything. You don't wash your face? No.

I mean, I wash my face in the shower, but I don't use a face wash and I don't't use anything. You don't wash your face? No. I mean, I wash my face in the shower, but I don't use a face wash and I don't use a moisturizer. You're saying this like we're going to be like, really? We know. Casey seems shocked. I have a very like oily skin by default. So like the idea of like putting stuff on there always kind of scared me. Like when I was more of an acne-ridden teen, I used to get specific face washes and medications and stuff.

But now as an older man, an older gentleman, it is what it is. Would you ever get an IPL done? Intense Pulse Light Therapy or something? It's for dry eyes, but it also helps with periodontic rosacea. I guess if I had that,acea. I guess if I had that, I would. I guess if I had that, I would. You have it. It's underlying, but it could return at any moment.

I wonder if you do the IPL. Yeah, I mean, the lights are pretty bright, so I don't know what you see. Yeah. You're under a microscope on the show, not only emotionally, but also physically. You think I have what, rosacea? It's not me thinking it. It's the comment section and me. Everyone's talking about it.

They're hashtag screaming eczema. Now we're getting somewhere you can feel the energy waves getting a little bit better. We're all on the same wavelength. By the way, this is what I'm seeing. It's times three. Yeah. You're accusing us of having skin diseases.

I'm not accusing. I'm diagnosing. You don't go to the doctor and you're like like do I have a dissected carotid artery and he's like I'm accusing you of that you're not a doctor not a doctor I am not a doctor that being said I have been at the doctor a lot recently

I think I can speak with a certain edge how are your eyes? not well said, I have been at the doctor a lot recently. So I think I can speak with a certain edge. How are your eyes? Not well. Really? Yeah. They look cloudy. Yeah, they always do. I have a pinguacula. Which means? Which means it's like a non-cancerous growth

due to UV light and dry eyes. But, I might have a needle stuck into that eye. Oh, my God. Right through the middle? I guess near this tissue that would inject like a... I'm not like infallible.

You're staring at me like that shouldn't have messed me up. I'm talking about a very invasive medical procedure that I might need to get 12 times in a row. 12 times in a row? In a year, I said. Not in a row. You said in a row. You said in a row.

I said in a year, I meant. You also are constantly getting procedures, so this shouldn't rattle you. I got probed. Correct. Yes, with a rod. Yeah.

Where? In your fucking eyelid. Yes. He talks about it all the time. You do like a weird quasi-experimental. Why is this not a shock to you guys? That's not quasi fucking eyelid yes he talks about it all the time you do like a weird quasi experimental why is this not a shock to you guys?

this is not quasi RF radio frequency yes another thing Anya would love radio frequency Anya she's here she won't do the show

she was like I have to go live at 5 and I was like this show's gonna be over by 5 yeah and she still wouldn't guest

and then she said what time do you need me to come on? I said, 420 to 440. It's 447. She knows that it's 447, and she refused to come. Okay. Okay. I guess maybe that's something you should.

No, because when you guys respond with like, okay. It's like, then the audience is like, holy shit, Jeff is like going off the deep end today. You are. No, I'm not. You said I had the thankles. You said that I had cloudy eyes. You said, oh, fund my movie for free. No points on the back end. Then why would I cut you

the check? Then why would I cut you the check? I'm not here to be patronizing the arts, Casey. I said, go Hollywood. I said, you have two scripts. Make one or both. I've got three scripts. So make one of the three! It's been two and a half weeks

it's a miracle to make any movie I know but then just get out of your own way and make the bish it's not about how much money you have it's not about whether the producers are ready it's go Hollywood or don't

okay you're right. Really? That has the tone of an inspirational speech, but it was like kind of gibberish. Yeah, lacking any sort of direction. It doesn't matter if you have money, just go Hollywood or don't. I feel inspired. I think it was a milkshake because it's somewhat lacking in nutritional value, what I was saying.

Totally. But there is some truth there. There's some calcium. I was severely vitamin D deficient, man. I think you're right about how that speech was as useful as a milkshake is healthy. Well, no. Sorry. You can't change the adjective there.

It has to be it was as useful as a milkshake was useful nutritionally healthy so Useful in terms of health is healthy. Yes. Yeah, right. I mean do you feel inspired at all by what I say? Yeah, but I've already been in like I'm gonna make a movie like a real small That's more than I've heard you say. We're looking at like a 10-day shoot schedule. Yeah. It's going to be real lo-fi.

And, you know, you could do it for like 50 grand because then you'd only need 5 grand a day. Yeah, that's about what we're looking at. That is what he said last time. But what if you could get 100? If we get 100, yeah. That's 10 grand a day. Yeah, and that would allow us to play a little bit more with some stuff. Yeah.

I mean, I know you want Kesey to go Hollywood, go Hollywood. What about when he's gone Hollywood? Oh, yeah. Then don't forget the people who inspired you along the way. Ali, Amir. Me. I don't know. I think you might miss these times.

Wow. You specifically. I wish somebody would have told us that these were the good old days. That's how I feel about the beginning of this show

before I was forced by the way to make it a video podcast because I used to edit the shit out of this stuff and that's why people loved it because it was tight. All this stuff that

basically this whole episode would have been it would have been cut other than me maybe screaming at Casey and maybe I thought there was always like a video component

with Zoom. We did it over Zoom, but there was no video until I think episode 80. Interesting. Yeah, that's how we built the fan base. And we're losing them now that it's the video because you can't cut shit out. You can't cut the silences.

Yeah, you can. Really? That's why there's multiple cameras so you can... Kind of play with angles. If you've got to cut something out, you can do it. And there's not any jump cuts. But you just don't want to do it

no well it's just you know I don't have the time or energy you don't have the energy it's hard yeah definitely don't have the time yep yep

cause I don't do anything else yep right I inspire I actually resent the implication I don't do anything else cause I kind of inspire

who? Casey no Casey and others do you want me to inspire you? I'm okay or anything else because I kind of inspire. Who? Casey. Casey and others. Do you want me to inspire you? I'm okay. I'd love it. To inspire Amir or to inspire you?

No, inspire me. Let me guess. Okay. Someone along your journey said you couldn't do it. Am I wrong? I'll take your silence as I've never been so inspired. Oh.

Sorry, was there music? Was that it? There was music. Yeah, there was music. But as soon as I tried to listen, it ended. That was way easier than I thought it was going to be. Thank you. Did that not work?

We can try one more time. Sure, try one more time. Headphones? Okay. Let me guess. Let me guess. Someone along the way, as you launched toward you, said, I don't think that wench has what it takes.

But are there words poison to you? Or are there words joys in to have? Because alchemically you can take dirt and let it grow into a beautiful mast of flowers. A stem from which

joy rises from the ashes phoenix-ally. New word. Because the Ali Khan story ain't over, folks. For it has just begun. And for the thousands of haters, for the doubters, for the people who say, who's Ali Khan? For the doubters, for the people who say, who's Ali Khan?

Let them taste the poison in their jaundiced gums and say, enough is enough. We need a world stage where Ali Khan is playing every part. A one woman show. A one-woman show. Because we're all one. And that one... Is Casey. You can't call her a wench. It wasn't me saying that.

It was the doubters. It was the tweet and deleters. Wait, wait, wait. Your second attempt was much better than the first. I think the doubters. It was the tweet and deleters. Your second attempt was much better than the first. I think the first one was succinct. I just think people didn't understand it. The second one had joie de vivre. I was quoting somebody, but somebody called you a wench. At some point?

At some point, I'm sure. You're sure? It was me! It was me, right? I'm the problem. It's me. That's true. That's true. Oh, you were singing.

Yeah. Sorry. This is so fucked up with plugs. Venmo or? Yeah. No, I'm retiring Venmo really I made enough last year

wow can you say how much I'll bleep it how much did you make Ali has to pay taxes yeah I have to pay taxes it's just annoying yeah

I thought I was making more but actually now I'm giving some back because I made that much you only made money for the US government Uncle Sam we're moving to Zelle

patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff we're still doing zoom parties over there. Zardies. Yeah, Zardies. So please help pay our rent and help fund our retirement. Because I take all that money and put it into a Vanguard.

Sorry. Vanguard is what I was going to say. You put it into Vanguard. S&P, yeah. So it's compounding interest. Every dollar you make in your 26th year of life is worth more than if Amir started investing now. He only has 24 years.

No, I thought we figured out he has like 80 to 100 more years. What, you think the retirement age is going to be raised? Yeah, to 120. God, that would be so cool. Even plugs, you guys are staring at me. Say something. Plug your shit. To be honest, my ears are ringing.

I have tinnitus. Do you really? From this concussion, yeah. When I lie awake at night. Okay, Jackson Maine. Nice. Cut your hair. Cut your hair.

Just wanted to take another look at you. Cut your hair cut your hair just wanted to take another look at you cut your hair the pit wall listen to the pit wall formula one and Venmo

me money for the movie that'd be cool I'll have like a official like an official like an official like a cocktail hour

at an art gallery opening where you like or it's a fundraiser. Yeah. Probably not like that. Because the whole event would cost half the budget. Yeah.

Yeah. Well just save your money until I'm ready to officially ask for it. Save up until you can donate to your art. Save up until Casey's ready. Yeah.

Follow me on Instagram at Ellie Con. I need a thousand people to give you 50 bucks. At Letterboxd. That's it. At LA Con. Casey just followed me. Huge. Whoa.

On Letterboxd? Yeah. Do you want to soft pitch the idea for your show and get people talking about it? No, I can't yet. Okay. Never mind. I'm here. I woke up in a new Bugatti, quite frankly.

I thought you were going to plug the brand of dialysis you're on. What? No way that's the thing that actually hurt his feelings. I feel like there's been so much worse said. He said I was a cotton candy man a couple weeks ago, and you were. That was a Hidgum Original.