The Headgum Podcast - 196: March Madness: Headgum Edition
Episode Date: March 15, 2024Billy Bryk joins Amir, Marika, and Geoff to pit Headgum staffers against one another, single elimination style, in the first inaugural March Madness: Headgum Edition.Advertise on The Hea...dgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a head gum original.
Previously on the head gum podcast.
What's the cheese vibe?
We ended up doing the Mongers five.
I think what's that Johnny?
It's just a plate of five different cheeses that they pick out.
Like, it's not really that crazy.
I don't know why Jeff threw it to me to explain it.
And they choose all the cheeses or do they ask you what you like? Crazy. I don't know why Jeff threw it to me to explain it.
And they choose all the cheeses or do they ask you what you like?
No, they choose all of it.
Like a goat or a cow or okay.
And I'm glad you asked because you would have thought that we added some say.
Instead, we're left with this fucking triple cr-
Sorry.
You deserve that, man.
Your apartment is now hitting you. You get how
you're annoying so much that objects are starting to revolt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're all
recording, we're all set up just fine. Amir, you couldn't have come up with a better background.
Look at Billy. He has the crown molding, he has the detailing on the wall.
Not a lot of art, which I don't appreciate. You could have put up a poster or five. Okay, there you go.
Goodfellas or? No. Is it when you finished Saving the World? a lot of art, which I don't appreciate.
Didn't you pay like a thousand dollars for that?
I don't know.
It was over five hundred dollars.
Yeah. More than that. And then when it got there, you immediately regretted it.
I remember you texted.
No, I didn't regret it at all.
It's a it's a it's not.
It's my problem.
Eleven by 17.
It's fine.
I'll talk about it because you guys keep bringing it up.
You thought it'd be bigger.
It's the it's the poster from the Bada Rocket short film that they made when they
went to Sundance in 1994
and they put it up all around Park City
or whatever the fuck.
Topical.
And then the graphic designer who made it kept one
and then sold it off a few years ago and I got it.
I was looking for it for like 10 years.
And what the audience doesn't know
is that when you flip the camera around, the posters on the wall are Ghostbusters afterlife
Hell of a summer when you finish saving the world crisis, which is a deep cut
No for loser off of my IMDB
Yeah, Winona
Yes, we're going to her.
Yeah, R.P.
When the TV show that's named after a printer company.
Not true.
The zoom is kind of broken up right now into like Wes Anderson themed.
Yes. And then also and then Billy and I'm Jeff.
No, Jeff and his kitchen and a mirror with it also bad background.
Yeah, it's it's hard.
It's fine. Yeah, I sold my table.
I'm in the process of moving house.
I just move.
What is the fifth time?
This has got to be six times in six years.
Yeah, six and a half.
If you count me living at home for the plandemic.
Yeah, and we do. Yeah.
Where this show was incubated into What It As We Come, which is sort of an op-ed, it's
sort of a late night talk show.
It's a rotating door featuring the most important podcasters at the network.
Are you kidding me?
What is this?
Here's what we're going to do today.
Have you guys heard of food diaries?
I love them.
Like you have a list of what you ate.
OK, brag.
You're studied up.
No, I'm guessing.
So, yeah, it's like mood.
It's like it's it's where you like write out what you had for like breakfast,
lunch, snack and dinner and fourth meal.
Well, today we're going to do mood diaries.
So that's just a diary.
Can we let me fucking finish or is it the Marika hour?
It kind of always is.
I heard a cat.
Yeah.
Yes, Misty.
I'm recording.
Mood diaries are like food diaries,
only instead of listing out what you ate,
you list out how you felt.
So this is sort of a side quest
that I'm bequeathing to you fuckers.
For the next 45, you guys are gonna list
four to five mood diary entries.
Things you felt, you know, thoughts you had to swallow
instead of say, and then we'll read them out
at the end of the day.
So not, we're not doing it in the moment.
We're doing it at the end of the episode.
You're writing it in the moment?
You are writing it in the moment?
You're gonna read it out at the end.
Gotcha.
Three to six mood diary entries. Three to six now? Yeah, cause it in the moment. You're going to read it out at the end. I 3 to 6 mood diary entries.
3 to 6 now?
Yeah, because it was 4 to 5 a minute ago.
I changed it to 3 to 6 because that's the same amount of months
that the neurologist told me this morning that it's going to take me
to feel 100%.
For the concussion?
Yes, the post-concussive syndrome, which I was diagnosed with formally
this morning.
Because you're still feeling it?
Because my cognition is slowed.
Everything is five times more fatiguing than it should be.
Three to six times more fatiguing, let's say.
And I was wondering-
And you choose to stand for this entire episode.
Because it engages the core and I don't have a chair.
You sold your chair too?
Yes!
Yeah, we thought it was only the table.
Well, it was the whole set.
If it was a chair, I'd be sitting there.
Okay.
Three to six diary entries
for the mood diary throughout the episode.
Time stamp?
I don't interrupt y'all.
Three to six mood diary entries,
timestamped or otherwise.
Dealers slash Sophie's choice,
but you do have to point out when it happened.
Just, it doesn't have to be so formal as timestamps.
It could just be, oh, when you said this,
I was feeling X, Y, Z.
And maybe, I see Billy writing down one right now.
Maybe that's gonna be one of his new diary entries.
Are we clear?
Can we move on?
Because we've barely started.
Okay, so you want us to write while we record?
Yeah, like just jot down.
I wouldn't say like write a whole fucking diary entry.
Yes, you are telling us.
No, I'm saying like, I just had a fucking, by entry I mean like a diary entry. Yes, you are telling us. No, I'm saying like, I just had a fucking,
by entry I mean like a bullet point,
three to six bullet points of what you felt
during the episode.
Okay.
Where's your new place?
It's in.
Is it like up there where it's kind of like windy and steep?
Is it like right next to it?
Is it? Yeah there where it's kind of like windy and is it like right next to it? Is it? Yeah, it's not really.
It's barely more like.
But is it next to it? Yeah, it's kind of next to it.
Yeah.
I am like going through.
I imagine it.
This is hard because I'm not even going to be able to bleep this.
It's hyper specific and it's like, it can't be like, Oh, this is the
neighborhood I live in.
Beep.
It's like, I live next to I live next to the which don't say that.
You're a moderate. You're telling people that you're giving these little breadcrumbs to people then you're
getting mad at us for commenting on them.
It's not a very secure location.
I mean you think a Mears house is accessible.
I wouldn't put that in either.
According to the Hollywood Reporter, Soho house is in decline.
I saw it.
I okay.
Go on.
Can you guys riddle me this?
Why are stars not flocking to the once hot spot?
You got a membership in the last 18 months, right?
What's up?
You got a membership in the last 18 months.
I had a membership when I was writing for Carpool Karaoke.
He said last 18 months, this was three years ago.
This was four years ago, 2020.
How much did it cost you?
$2,000 a year.
You're not great with money, are you?
I'm not, but Carpool, I was being paid three grand a week.
So one week of work, I'm already in a surplus
from the Soho House membership.
Or you could have just had $2,000. And that's where I went wrong.
That's what you ever go. I had drinks there. I want to say thrice.
How many months? How many months did you have the membership?
I had it for a year. I did have it for a year.
So it ultimately ended up being, yeah,
kind of a $660 cover each time.
But if you're under 30,
food is half off.
And then was it even open during the pandemic?
I know gyms closed.
I know so how it was closed.
So did they refund you?
I canceled my membership after a year because I was like, I don't go enough.
A 114 year old Texan is the oldest person in the United States.
If you guys lived that long, how would you spend your extra years?
Bad?
Yeah. You guys lived that long. How would you spend your extra years? Bad?
Yeah.
Billy, would you sort of wank it? Would you sort of have that,
I don't know if I would.
Sort of crank that shaft until you were,
you know, returned to dust?
I don't know.
If I could be, I guess, cranking my shaft at 114,
that would be pretty remarkable.
Yeah.
But yeah. Because of the age or the age, the exclusively because of the age.
Right.
I feel like you guys are like still trying to get your wits about you in this episode.
You haven't found solid footing and I don't think this couldn't have done the dishes
before we started recording.
Jeff, you have your kitchen is filthy.
And I just I don't like this the view of me like towering over you.
It's really disarming.
It's just kind of like you're looking at up at us constantly for praise.
Where is your computer?
Has to be on a really high shelf.
It's on top of the fridge.
On top of the fridge.
Would you rather I look down at you guys?
Can you put your computer in the fridge and then close the fridge and then do that?
Angle where you like open a fridge and look for stuff and then close it yeah
That's a good idea. I don't know if you're trying to sabotage the episode or if you're fine with us having good content
I appreciate the effort. I guess is your garbage lid not closed properly
It got the trash. Yeah.
People are horny for Austin Butler's Dune Part Two character.
I guess my question is when.
I have things to say about this.
I knew you would. That's why I brought it up.
I think he should have been hotter.
I still haven't seen it yet. I'm excited. I'm going to see it in like five days. I knew you would.
I still haven't seen it yet.
You guys can talk about it.
My only take was that I think they should have made him a little hotter.
How do you do like hire somebody else?
Is that are you saying he's the hottest he could ever be? Well, I'm saying like, are you like, like, how did they not make him hotter?
How would you suggest that they do that?
I think one of the main problems was that he couldn't shave his head so that he was wearing a bald cap over his hair.
And he looked like Mega Mind.
Yeah, because the hair is bunched up under the cap.
Well, it was just like big.
And I was like, if it was like a little more to size, I think this would work.
So what are you saying? You wish that his bald head had been to size?
Mega Mind in some shots.
And I would have preferred not that.
Amir? I didn have preferred not that. OK. Amir.
I didn't see Dune.
Well, what about Dune 2? I was going to say, yeah, I've seen Dune 2 three times.
Yeah, it's awesome.
I didn't quite get it, but I thought Austin Butler was a four
out of 10.
Oh, nice.
We didn't really talk about the Soho house, but I did see a TikTok about it
saying that they went public and then opened their floodgates so that they got a
lot more people there. So it became less exclusive.
Yeah. If you want that exclusivity, you're going to want to get a referral to the
San Vicente bungalows.
You're going to want to get into the Knickerbocker club.
Marika style.
Billy.
I just hate how much you want to be a part of these clubs.
Billy said, are you recording this week?
And can I be a guest?
I said, I want to have you. I said, I'm bringing you through the Zoom. I beg to be on the podcast. Billy said, are you recording this week and can I be a guest? I said, I want to have you.
I didn't say you're recording.
I'm bringing you on the Zoom and you sit there
fucking unmarkedly excited.
Unmarkedly?
He is excited, but you can't tell.
That's what I'm picking a bone with.
Okay.
What time is it?
Hey, decorate your apartment.
Enjoy the show.
Jeff got tapped by the Phoenix Club, actually.
Have you guys seen these Willy Wonka experience photos?
What was that?
Because I just keep seeing people talk about it, but I don't know what it was.
Where did it come from?
It seemed like a Fire Fest situation.
Yeah, you can explain.
The creator said,
so yeah, there was this failed Willy Wonka pop-up experience
and the creator of it said, and this is a quote,
it all looked good on paper.
It was advertised with a bunch of AI generated images
that made it look really cool.
But ultimately it was.
Yeah, this is what it was advertised with.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But people saw it and after they were gonna get it.
This was it.
Well there's also, there's even more AI images
that are so clearly fucked up.
The words aren't correct because it generated them.
It's really sad that people got tricked by it.
This is something Cohen would put together.
What?
Nothing.
I'm trying to be like topical
and act like I go into the office.
Yeah.
I don't even know who works
at the fucking company anymore.
Yeah, you did send a Slack message to everyone saying,
can I have a picture of an org chart?
Everybody keeps getting married, begging for an org begging for an org picture of an org chart.
No one fucking sent it, by the way.
I don't even know if we have that.
Right.
And everybody keeps getting married.
Their maiden names are going to their fucking partners and vice versa.
And I'm like, oh, new employee.
Just kidding.
That's Angie.
Yeah, Angie's Angie.
Yeah, Angie to Arkland now. She just has that post-nup drip.
Or post-nuptial drip.
Yeah.
Yeah, we got it.
Yeah.
Sorry, she's trying to get the track.
Jesus Christ, I feel like I'm watching a really boring episode of Big Brother or something. Sorry, she's right.
I feel like I'm watching a really boring episode of Big Brother or something.
Can I just check in?
How many mood diary points have you guys all entered?
Because we're about to hit the halfway point.
I want to make sure you're on page.
I have to.
I have to as well.
Amir.
I'm not doing that. You have two. I have two as well. Amir? I'm not doing that. You have to.
Otherwise the diary is not moot, it's moot.
I don't have my fucking computer.
You want the diary to be moot along with the point?
I mean I'll remember how I feel, which is how I always feel when I'm doing these. So much dead air.
Do we think there's something like a sound effect?
We can't hear if there's a sound warning happening.
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Welcome to March Madness Headgum Company Edition.
Um, has to be illegal, right?
This is a bracket customized by my ass
to guess who's gonna come out on top this March
in regards to Headgum.
What does that mean?
What do you mean?
Like who's gonna come out on top, what does that mean?
In terms of productivity, I was gonna get to that.
You guys cut me off and jumped down my throat
before I got to introduce the segment.
Headgum podcast edition, March Madness edition.
Is this the entire bracket or just a quarter of it?
This is just part of it.
It's everywhere. Oh my God.
Yeah. So how does it work?
The seating is alphabetical slash random.
There's people here that don't work at the company.
There's 1099s.
Cause otherwise I wouldn't be able to be
in the bracket
You're a 20 seed it's alphabetical you really think Angie's a nine seed
Anybody yeah, we're gonna go through we're gonna put put together our best
March Madness bracket together.
And then in the description of this video,
I'm gonna link this bracket so that the listeners
can create their own bracket thus, including Billy.
I'm not gonna listen to this when it comes out.
What the fuck is this?
I put a bunch of time and energy into this shit.
You put a lot of time, it put the time and energy into this shit. You put a lot of time and put the time energy to other shit
The new place is a space for a table there's gonna be a kitchen island
That's it. So the living room is completely empty right now. You could be on the floor. I don't have a living room
I live in this is my studio apartment.
I'm moving in two weeks.
Got it, so this is your old place.
We're selling the furniture
because the new place doesn't have space for a table.
Got it, so you're going from a studio apartment
to a house and the new place doesn't have room
for the devil who's furnishing your studio apartment.
Because there was a nook before for a kitchen table,
the new place doesn't have a fucking dining room.
It has a living room, a bedroom, and a kitchen.
That's it.
And don't say you can put a table in the living room.
We wanted to have a sitting area.
Yeah. Where are you gonna eat?
That sucks.
There's a kitchen counter.
I'm in a similar situation.
That's a huge mistake.
That's a huge mistake.
Can we focus on the fucking bracket?
I don't have a table.
Enough about the brackets.
I'm in this tiny little studio apartment.
Yes, crown molding, whatever.
Yes, nice poster, but there's no table.
No one said nice poster.
I said nice crown molding, whatever.
And I wish it was a joke because I don't have that much money.
I don't have a, I just have a couch and TV because I was like, I just want to
watch movies in my apartment and I have a bed or whatever and a desk.
But I hate, I hate eating here.
And it's such a, it's a thing I do.
Yeah, but you live in Brooklyn.
I know. But what do you, what does that mean?
Go out to eat.
Yeah.
So you're, as you were saying, you're not living in a, an area that's like? Yeah, so you're you as you were saying yours not in living in a an area
That's like walkable. So you should definitely have don't tell him to go out to eat
go out for every money I
Never said my advice was good. I've been trying to fucking get us back into the set the bracket
So you don't have a table at your new place. Are you gonna have a television?
We might.
So there's a potential for no table or no TV?
We have a projector.
You have a projector.
You have a projector.
There's the sound board.
I couldn't hear that.
Couldn't hear it.
You stopped sharing audio.
March Madness had Gum Edition, right?
We can't hear the audio sound effects by the way.
I'm not gonna know who almost anybody on this list is.
You want it ranked based on I'm not gonna know who almost anybody on this list is Yeah Also so probably
And you wanna rank based on
Round 1
You wanna rank based on productivity?
And other things?
Cause Riley's gonna be in Fiji for half the year
So she loses round 1
Unfair! It's March!
I'm saying
Holy shit what an upset.
The one seed, taken out.
Michelle Shim moving, really?
Have we ever seen a 32 seed advance like that?
Sucks, like you have to do that much clicking
just to move someone forward.
It's bracket HQ's website, the UX is all over the place.
I had to create an account twice just to be able to fill out the bracket.
You shouldn't have.
All right.
Matt number two.
I got to go John Grimm.
Brad the Grim Reaper Hill.
Using John's last name as a nickname for Brad.
Do you even know what they do at the company?
Yeah, you're somebody who's it's like every
your entire friend group like watches NCAA basketball.
You don't, but you're still filling out a bracket.
So I kind of want to hear from Amir because Amir loves basketball.
Yeah, but this has nothing to do with basketball.
It's a bracket challenge.
Right. That could be anything. Marika loves the company. Marika is the company. I'm not gonna put people together like this.
Put a brother against a brother. I can do it. I'm telling you, Brad, the Grim Reaper,
healed, beat Grim 8 out of 10 times. I think we go with Billy's picks for all of us. That's fine. I just, I also I also want as we go for people to know who we're voting for.
They know Brad.
They don't really know Grim as much.
Grim used to shoot the Jake and Amir videos.
Now he what produces segments.
He's yeah, he edits our podcast, both audio and video.
So Grim's definitely out.
Yeah, I don't know if you've seen segments, but I don't think so.
Oh, well, it don't know if you've seen segment. I don't think so grow my
Looks and sounds great
Yeah, it sounds great and the video frame looks good. It's the contents
You're actually on this week's episode by the time this comes out really
Yeah
Alright
This is a must watch ladies and gentlemen
Angie D. Arklund versus Nerysaladik
Marika who do you like better personally? That's not what the track is about
But how another loophole here is that Angie's on maternity leave.
She's not gonna work.
It's not gonna happen for her.
I'm sorry, this is a huge upset,
but it's gonna be Nerissa to have.
Crazy march so far, if we're looking at these seeds
versus who moved on round one.
But it is single olymp.
Did I make a scene at your wedding?
Kind of.
Really?
Yeah, you had a half.
I've been trying to figure out
why you've been cold to me for months.
Yeah, half a year.
Because I was not complimentary about the blue suit
because I said blue suede shoes was Elvis's idea.
Well, you ranked my wedding the week it ended
and you gave it like a 22 out of 34 or something.
Yeah, it was in comparison to Jake's is all.
You're right.
Amelia Mariano
versus Will Conover.
What are we thinking here in terms of single elimination round one?
Are we taking the over or the Mariano?
Here's what I'll say about Amelia.
I don't know anything about her.
She is a producer, an associate producer of Doughboys.
She showed up to our Halloween party dressed as Ronald McDonald.
And I truly was like, I thought somebody had snuck into the studio.
But everyone was like cracking up, treating her like a close friend while I was sort of being iced out in the corner.
And I thought, I'll have my revenge. Will Conover.
Iced out in the corner.
Dane Cardial versus Ferris Monshi.
Ferris also not a full-time employee.
Editor of Newcomers, the podcast.
Jeff is on the floor.
We're never gonna get through this.
Oh yeah, there's more than one round.
This is insane.
I thought we were just gonna, I was like,
all right, we're happy.
I'm not the one holding us up.
You guys are fucking yawning.
Marika's abstaining.
Cause she's worried about her work relationships.
You think I've ever cared about that?
No.
Dane Cardiall versus Ferris Monshi.
Alright, Jesus.
Ali Khan versus Emma Erdbrink.
This is hard because they're both such hard workers.
And Erd brinkers.
But Ali is also full time.
Yeah. So maybe we go with Ali for this one.
All right. Yeah.
And this one's tough because I just got word from Emma
that she's going to be out of town for most of May.
Right. And I would never do that.
So I'm trying to figure out. This is the March bracket.
So it's going to be Emma.
It's hard because I don't like her.
She's a one seed too, basically.
Katie Moose versus Marika Brownlee.
Wow, this is tough.
Marika.
Okay.
Yes.
I guess Katie's not here to make her case.
Yeah.
And that's part of it, is she never comes into work.
Marika's nose to the grindstone,
Union Square every fucking day.
I don't know, two very hard workers,
so it's hard for me to choose,
but I guess since Marika's here, we'll give it to her.
It's a no-brainer, is I think what you're saying.
Between the two, if you had to fire one of them,
it would be Katie, is that what you're saying?
Now here's a tough one.
Me versus Pile, holy shit. How do you're saying? Now here's a tough one. Me versus Pile.
Holy shit.
How do you-
Okay, Micah versus Erica.
What the hell was that?
It was so quick.
You joined the Zoom four minutes late.
You forced Anya to step away from what she was working on to set you up to record over
Zoom.
Something you did every day for two and a half fucking years. What are you talking about, you versus Pyle?
Pyle built a tech platform that got you $10 million in VC funding. What do you have? Periodontic
rosacea?
I don't have that.
Micah versus Erica. Let's go Micah because...
I don't know Erica at all.
Yeah, it seems like you're afraid to pronounce her last name for sure.
Jensen.
Yep. Nailed it.
Micah.
All right, Joel versus Anya.
That's really rough.
Joel versus Anya. That's tough.
And Anya saved the day before we started recording it.
Yeah, that's true.
Can I set up this whole?
I think this is Anya's month.
I might have to put up a fight for Joel,
just in terms of what, honestly, if he had done this,
I would have called Jola.
If Joel was in charge of the studio,
he would have painted the walls and off rust,
a.k.a. Cola, a.k.a.
Jola Dunoff.
We're going with Anya.
Yeah, we're going with Anya.
Anya Zero.
Marty Michael versus Ryan Chambers.
Hmm. That's tough.
Battle of the Small Talk.
That's tough. Battle of the Small Talk.
I gotta go with Ryan.
The Small Talk?
He's taller, he lives in Montauk, he's better at Small Talk.
Is Ryan the tallest person at Headcombe?
Let's just move on.
Cohen versus Peter MacArthur.
Two Frenchmen.
Well, Peter lives in France currently,
but neither of them are Frenchmen.
Alright.
Then it's got to go to Peter, right?
Why?
I think we need at least one Amir in the second round.
You're right.
So why don't you put Peter up there and then I.
All right, oh that's all right.
Gianna versus Casey.
Yes.
But you didn't go back and change me.
I don't want to because I feel like Pyle
built the tech platform that you got you guys
10 million dollars in VC funding.
Right now we heard your case.
Because you have sort of the.
And that's one person's case.
Yeah.
And I don't have a gum disease, by the way.
I didn't say gum disease.
It's not a gum disease.
You said you had periodontic rosacea.
Okay, something that could be quickly cleared with intense pulse light therapy, with a chine green.
With a cola.
Let's just go Casey, because I will hear the end of it.
What's that?
I don't think he listens to this.
What's that?
All right, Sage versus Jake.
It's gotta be Sage.
Sage is like, countlessly editing social clips
versus Jake is just being social.
You bitch.
Yeah, Marika loved it.
All right.
Jake is just being social is a great description.
Sam Massa, Nay Shackle versus Alex Berkman.
Whose new last name is gonna be Shackle.
What?
Yeah.
Sam Massa, Nay Shackle versus Alex Shackle, Ney Berkman.
I gotta, I mean, I love both of these fuckers,
but I gotta go Massa.
I gotta go with my boy Shackle.
It's gonna be Mass.
It's gonna be Ney.
All right, let's go rapid fire this round. Shim versus Hill. It's gonna be me.
All right, let's go rapid fire this round. Shim versus Hilde. Billy, what do you got? Shim.
Lattic versus Will.
Why don't you say your last name? I don't know.
Billy! Oh, it's Lattic. Oh, you didn't say me. I thought maybe we were gonna go each of us decide on one.
I don't know why it always comes down to like
I'm not a fucking
Conductor of this shit you guys have a ring over latic or Ladakh
Yeah, Monchi versus Khan, it's gotta be yeah
Emma versus Marika.
Again, knowing that Emma's gonna be gone in May,
I feel like I'm leaning Brownlee.
Is she really gonna be gone in May?
Gone in May.
Pyle versus Micah.
She's traveling.
Come on.
Let's go Micah.
We have the march, okay.
We have the march.
We do not have the madness.
If you're gonna have Micah, I feel like I could have won march, okay. We have the march. We do not have the madness. If you're gonna have Micah,
I feel like I could have won the first round.
Definitely not.
Just in terms of like-
And still be up against Micah?
Because at least Jake is social.
You think you would have won?
You like show up to work and you hide in a corner,
you hide in the office, you close the door,
but it's glass.
I don't have an office actually.
And you kind of like peer out and you're like-
No.
Seeing who walks in, you make the guests uncomfortable.
Here we go, Anya versus Chambers.
It's gonna be Anya.
Anya.
Yeah.
I think this might be Anya's year, I'll be honest.
I think it might be Anya's zero.
McArthur versus Donahue.
Peter McArthur. Really?
That might be an upset.
It's just such a historical sounding name.
All right, Sage versus Masa Naishakal.
This is rough.
I know this one's tough.
Abt abstain.
Billy you decide.
All right.
Sage.
Holy shit.
All right.
Elite eight hours.
Left.
What's that?
You said elite 8 hours?
It's like scary hours.
Alright, Khan vs. Brownlee.
This one's really tough.
Marika.
Okay, Marika's going to the Final Four.
Micah vs. Anya.
Obviously Anya. Sage versus Peter
MacArthur. This one's kind of French. Anything he says is kind of French. Sage, MacArthur. Yeah. Let's go Sage. Okay, the final four is a little bit
shocking. Brownlee I assumed. Shim I was shocked. Shackle not being there, I was shocked.
Sage being there was not what I expected.
Anya Kenevskaia in the final 4-0 style.
Slash Dark 30.
Anya versus Sage, what do you guys think?
I don't know, both helped me a lot, so it's hard for me to guess.
Sage helps me a lot, Anya helps me a lot.
I will say that Sage is really quick with her social clips turnarounds.
Anya didn't quite consider Shine Green, she didn't quite even sample a cola.
She kind of just went straight for charcoal.
Didn't even sample more than one charcoal, by the way.
Just bought the paint.
That's crazy.
Let's go Sage.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Jim versus Brownlee, I mean, that's a no. It's Jim versus Brownlee.
I mean, that's a no.
It's a no Brownlee.
It's got to be Marika, right?
Now it's just me voting.
Put up against the one person on my team.
The only person that you're directly in charge of.
What are we thinking now that we can really get into the debate? The hardest worker in March, which hasn't happened yet, was Marika or Sage.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to have to go with Marika, Sage advice, Brownlee.
That's good.
Because then it's kind of like we both won.
No, it'd be that you were okay with winning over an intern that you hired.
I want to be clear about what's happening.
Really?
She's a assistant. Production assistant.
Assistant to Mrs. Brownlee? Ms. Brownlee?
No.
Okay.
Sage.
She'll be thrilled.
This could be the clip that she edits.
The ball is tipped and there Sage is.
You followed in a duh, you're a shooting sage.
My computer is freezing. Give me a second, Billy.
Yeah, it's on top of the freezer.
I'm so sorry to Marika, Amir and me for losing March Madness, but if you're going to look me in the eye and say Sage didn't deserve that, then I'm sorry, but you're unfit to
host.
Host what?
The Headgun Podcast.
What about who edits this, the Headgun Podcast?
Grace Harper, I knew I was forgetting something.
Someone.
Sorry, Grace.
Didn't want to put Grace in there.
Guys, we've made it to the final segment,
which is mood diaries.
Let's hear those entries.
Let's start with Amir.
I told you I wasn't writing anything down.
I felt...
That's not my fault that your face is red now.
On the spot, the teacher called on you and you have nothing.
I have to take an L slash pass.
I guess my mood when you chose Paolo for me was disappointed, Nothing. I have to take an L slash pass.
I guess my mood when you chose Puy-A-Lo for me
was disappointed, offended, angry, scared, mad.
All right, very good.
Two more?
Two more moods or two more moments?
Three to six entry points,
three to six mood diary entries.
The camera angle reminds me of those
dude you're getting Adele commercials.
It's sort of like this, like top down,
sort of like little boy, parental POV,
you're moving with your auntie and uncle to Bel Air style.
Yeah.
Yeah, so.
One more.
One more, when the soundboard worked, it hurt my ears.
So it's really like.
Billy, let's hear that mood diary.
I hopefully had more than three.
Hopefully they were prepared for actually did have four.
That's pretty cool.
That's a good mood diary of a wimpy kid.
So that's what very good.
Very good.
Or 41 Eastern. I don't have to do this. Jeff. I'd love to hear it. I'm asked for 41 Eastern.
I don't have to do this, Jeff.
I don't have to hear.
I would love to hear it.
For 41 PM Eastern, Jeff said dealers slash Sophie's choice and it made me almost not
like movies anymore.
Holy shit.
I didn't know I had that power. Ten minutes later, 4.51, Jeff admitted to not know who works at the office anymore.
That's true.
It isn't really a mood, I just said fire him.
4.58, just sort of, Amir said that you have a rejector, not a projector that made me happy.
That is a mood.
Not always negative by the way.
Maybe that brought movies back for you.
Yeah, it did.
It brought, yeah, it absolutely did.
And then five, 13, March Madness Ends
that took almost 20 minutes is what I wrote.
Call it a dense segment.
Dense.
I thought it was pretty thin.
You're stretched out.
Thin but stretched out instead of dense but tight.
Right.
Marika?
Very flimsy for sure.
When it took five minutes to explain the mood diary,
I felt fatigued and frail.
And you're not sure it wasn't just Zoom fatigue?
You think it was?
I'm sure, yeah.
It was just overall fatigue.
Being in the freezer made me feel claustrophobic and also wistful.
Sorry, did you sleep bad last night?
I'm trying to figure out if the fatigue was because of what I said.
Yeah, like six hours.
That's not that many, so let's chalk it up to lack of sleep.
Well, okay.
Yeah, so being in the freezer made me feel claustrophobic and also kind of
wistful.
That was Amir's idea.
Yeah.
So he gets points for the wistfulness.
Um, when we were only on the third part of the bracket, I felt close to death and
maligned, um, and when I lost the bracket, I felt vacant, but also kind of chuffed.
And then you throwing the lemon.
Chuffed like you were chum.
Were having a gas, a gaffe.
Or you were gassed.
Yeah, like having a gas, having a gaffe.
Okay. So you felt fine about second place.
Right, but then you started throwing the lemon
and it made me feel kind of perturbed and sour.
I don't have like substitute teacher energy,
like Robin Williams in fucking Dead Poets Society,
because I'm just like, guys, this is what you need to know about the world.
He's not that tall.
But they're like children.
But they stand on the desk at the end.
They stand on the shoulder of giants.
The poets that came before them and then before them.
Robin Williams starred in Dead Poets Society.
Yeah, I want you to have the energy of Robin Williams now.
That's good.
I'd like you to carry on the rest of your day.
I just watched, speaking of Dead Poets Society, another movie by the same director, Witness. Have you to carry on the rest of your day. Um, I just watched speaking of dead poet society, another movie by
the same director witness.
Have you guys seen that?
No, no.
Awesome.
Really, really great.
Cool movie.
Uh, Harrison Ford played a detective and there's a little Amish boy who
witnesses a murder of another detective.
And then, uh, it becomes this kind of awesome cop thriller where the Amish boy like I don't want to spoil anything
But basically like Harrison Ford has to sort of protect this Amish child and they sort of teach each other about the different
You know different ways of life. It's it's good. It's really good
It's really sort of a sixth sense style
Um in the sense that there's like a boy and a detective, yeah,
detective.
I've never seen the sixth sense because it was just spoiled to me
or whatever the like, if it's a twist or I just knew it.
So I just never watched it. Right.
Same. Have you seen signs?
I also know the end of signs that I haven't.
I want to watch signs anyways, though.
Sounds good. Yeah.
Did you see signs in the theaters, Amir?
Or was it more recent?
Do you think?
I saw the theater.
So afterwards, this probably would have been around the same time
that the song was popular.
Did you kind of come out of the theater and go?
I saw signs
and it opened up my
movie came out like eight years after the song.
Why'd you stop?
Keep going, Jeff, with the song.
I already sang as much as I cared to.
It was ill-received.
I asked why you stopped, and you just met me with silence.
Well, the Zoom blipped out, and all I heard was stop.
So I did.
And then I got chastised for that also.
Breaked over the coals on a weekly basis, I am.
You're the little Amish boy.
And I need to hire a private eye to detect
why people hate what I come up with.
Is it that I don't come into the office more?
Is it that I'm not as social as Shackle?
No.
Is it that I'm staying nay James?
Staying nay James?
So it is that.
No! I can't understand what you're saying.
Saying nay James.
End this obviously. Congrats to Sage. Saying. Saying nay, James.
End this, obviously. Congrats to Sage.
["Sing, James"]
That was a Hid Gum Original.