The Headgum Podcast - 200: The Overlapping Dialogue Special

Episode Date: April 12, 2024

22 guests. 3 studios. 1 joy.The 200th episode of The Headgum Podcast has arrived, and it contains overlapping dialogue galore!Zach Dunn gives Geoff writing advice. Everyone grades the first 200 episodes on a custom rubric provided by Geoff. Plus the entire onslaught of guests competes in an everyone-for-themself round of "Geoffardy" with a real prize of a $500 AirBnb gift card!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast, you know, they had their shot and they took it. And here I am, pissing my shot away. So, Jake, Amir, Marika, Marty, everyone at HeadGum. I hope that you hear this episode and think one or both of the following two things one Zona Gale was a generational talent an artist really a storyteller rivaled only maybe by well

me and Two if you don't want the show To be shit like this every week want the show to be shit like this every week, then I think you'll have me back in studio. And I think you'll rehire my ass on air next week! It's Jeffrey! Oh my god. It's Jeffrey! Welcome to the overlapping dialogue special! 200 episodes in the can! How many guests do we have?

Let's introduce ourselves one by one, or I'll do it. Casey Donahue. Hey, how's it going? I'm sharing a mic with Jeff. Amir Blumenfeld. Billy Scafuri. Katie Boose.

Ferris Monchi. Zach Dunn. Erika Jensen! Alex Bergman! Dane Cardi-El! Riley Anspos! Will Conover! Emma Herdbrink!

Ally Con! Emma Foley! Marika Brownlee, Joel Dunoff, Johnny Miller, Jake Berlitz, Johnny Miller, Jake Berlitz, Johnny Miller, Jake Berlitz,

Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Jake Berlitz, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller,

Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, Johnny Miller, And Anya, Ken of Skyah and Rochelle. Can we please count? Somebody count.

From the top. We've got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. That's almost the amount of people in this company. Most guests on a pod ever? I mean, it has to be on at once. Jeff said, somebody please count one, two, three. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I think he just means you count.

Okay, so I'm just a little sensitive. I feel like it's gonna be a whole barrage. Zach, you have a hard out, right? I don't, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I'm just saying. I told you it's fine. Today it's about you. It's fine. Whatever you need. No, you made it quite clear that you're working on a big Hollywood production in Atlanta. He's coming in from a trailer which you're not even called to set today. You just wanted to brag.

I rented a trailer just to record. You're not even called to set today. You just wanted to breath Do whatever schedule you want okay, I appreciate that Emma you've never been on the show You're the only one on here who's never been on the show. How do you feel but that's okay? And y'all are let's who do we think looks the most upset to be here? I think it's Jake Listen I constantly tout overlapping dialogue on this show I say that a to make it easier in the edit and B to kind of keep that energy up We we should always be constantly not interrupting necessarily But kind of catching each other's tail end of their sentences and starting our own. Starting anew and here we are with almost 20 people,

I think, I already forgot. 22, yeah. 22. I think it's gonna be easy for us to overlap dialogue today. Yeah, or really hard, because everyone's waiting for the other person. I was just gonna say. Yeah, it's hard, already there's way more silence than I thought there was gonna be. The show is really how many people can use Steamroll Or really hard because everyone's waiting for the other person. That's how yeah, yeah, it's hard because already

There's way more silence than I thought there was gonna be the show is really how many people can use steamroll Ferris you're making your return to the show I've been trying to get you on the show for like a few weeks and the schedules haven't lined up and now here you are On one of the most important episodes ever yes, sir good to be back God, I do not envy grace on the Totem goal, baby Johnson at the back post with a team of Werner cross It's overlapping it is dialogue, and I'm trying to figure out because there is one we do have to continue

We've a lot of the same celebrations our players do when they score Joel. Sorry just one second Joel and Johnny are sharing a Yeah, and a microphone this whole room is I'm sure. He was on Joel's loud count when we started recording. Johnny, do you wanna talk about the new hair? I was less in demand than the way it was 10 months ago. Here's the thing, I wasn't actually invited to be here. Marika texted me 15 minutes before start time.

She says, are you gonna be here? And I just cut out of work and I'm here. I'm here. I actually have a bone to pick with Will Conover. Will, I think it was yesterday Oh, I posted a photo on my story. Oh, yeah Yeah, we'll said this first time ever first ever. He said such a warm smile with a heart Picture I hope you edit it in because it's a very sweet picture of you look handsome what but were you being facetious?

No, no that that was, and I knew it was gonna be. All right, all right, no, I'm not jumping down your throat. You're reacting like you're fucking coming at me. I was gonna be here today, so I wanted to start off on a good foot. You didn't say it was a bone to pick. Yeah. Yeah.

What the fuck? No. Yeah, we couldn't. Here we go, we're jumping straight into it. On to the weak. We're being too easy, Bons. Rapid fire. We're circling the fucking new 007.

Barbara Broccoli might be hiring Aaron Taylorjoy. What is it? Johnson. My Bond of the Week is Bruce Boxleitner. Because it's time for a 73 year old James Tron. Boo! You read that off the screen. Mine's Brendan Johnson. He's Welsh, not British, but he opened the scoring against West Ham, so I kind of respect him. 22 year old Welsh footballer.

Casey, who's your bomb of the week? Pass. Katie? I might pass too. I didn't know you could do that. That's awesome. Jeff just says these things. Okay. Jeff's stare is such a freaky stare for those at home who don't get to be in the studio. He says these things so loud and just stares at you so intently like a dog who needs to go out. And

I can't even listen to you, I just hear you. Yeah. Bond of the Week. Shrek. Shrek. I kind of love Shrek for Bond. That's cool. Amir? Ferris. Ferris looks good, yeah. Wow. I was going to say Jack Black, but I'll take it.

Honestly, this is too many people. Everybody just say your Bond of the Week at once. Three, two, one. Pass. Pass. Pass. I heard a lot of pass. I don't even know what you put in the song.

I don't know what you talked about. Jeff does this thing, for those of you who don't know, because Jeff, there are people on the show who have never been on the show before. Just Emma, just Emma. If you want to explain what Bond of the Week is to Emma. Okay, I wasn't even hearing that word. Daniel Craig is out Daniel Craig is out as bond so every week until the next James is cast We are casting our vote for who should be cast of the next double

Place of this segment when the bond is officially cast Well you know it's interesting because Jones of the Week. Jones of the Year Club. How have you ever been on the week? I don't know. I live under a rock, I guess. I don't know if it's quite been... I don't know if we've done Bond of the Week every episode, but how many Bonds do you think we've done? Because this is a pretty big episode, it's number... 201? 202?

It's been going on since episode 72. Okay, Marika coming in with the facts, not only the sacks So so like there's like a hundred and twenty episodes you've done ish with bond of the week and you're asked like four people An episode. The answer is too many. It's been it's been two years. Yes. I get that I mean, this is a but this is a monumental episode whether we've done bond of the week for every single week I mean again, it's episode number What is it 201 201, 202, 203?

200. Word of the day. 200? That's exactly right. He's moved on. Word of the day is 200. Was that Marika who said it? Yes, I did.

All right. Are you gonna Venmo me Cash? Yeah, I'm gonna Venmo you Cash. This is kind of a throwback to an old segment we used to do before. Billy actually told me that Venmo transactions. Tax repercussions to this joke. There's just a crazy, wow.

The wipe. You can do a wipe? Do it again. Oh my god. I love that. Yes. Yes. Fresh shell.

Yeah. Oh that's a good point. Wow, yes! Yes! Yes! Fresh shell. Yeah! Wipe of the Week. Oh my god. Wipe of the Week. They're still going. Wipe of the Week is a great series of words.

Wow, these are all very good. We're squeezing in a lot Yeah Sorry go ahead Amir is there a star wipe is all I'm just curious Falling door. Exactly. You gotta be like Oh yeah.

Door one. Yeah. It's fun when everyone gets compressed down. This is gonna be so easy to edit. Alright, it wouldn't be a HeadGum Podcast episode without a little bit of wax. It's fun when everyone gets compressed down All right, it wouldn't be a headgun podcast episode without a little bit of wax right 200 episodes I think they said it could be done in wood again There will probably be a 400

But Marika do you want to talk about the the origins of the show I I mean, this kind of was a... It was a pandemic podcast. Yeah. Yeah. A fashion project. It was a pandemic podcast. Yeah, I wanted a staff podcast for a really long time.

It was originally called Headgum Happy Hour, no? Yeah, it was. Yes. I remember doing a couple episodes in my closet with a margarita, the saddest I've ever been. It's originally called Headgum Happy Hour now. Yeah, it was. Yes. We changed it. I remember doing a couple episodes in my closet with a margarita, the saddest I've ever been. Wondering if I was ever going to leave my house again and then being drunk on a Zoom in a hot closet trying to record audio with my bosses. That was three weeks ago.

And now you're packed like sardines in a room that would have given you the virus four years ago. Absolutely. Knock on wood. This is also technically a corporate podcast. Oh, Zach's in trouble. Zach's in trouble. Sorry. Zach.

I'm getting kicked out. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. That was really good. The last words, Hey, sorry. His rental time ran out.

I had a segment prepared just for Zach. Everything's fine. You know what? We'll wax throughout the episode. Let's get to our first segments, ladies and gentlemen. This one is kind of a fan favorite for Zach Dunn. A fan favorite guess. Like it's my favorite?

What do you mean? I mean that every time you're on, I ask you if you could give me some writing advice. Yeah, right, exactly, right. And we should say you're on location for a writing job right now. This is proof that you're a Hollywood tycoon. Sorry, just let me.

You get a trailer for that? You do when you're a co-ed I Jeffrey loves trying to talk about my specific titles on things. I work on it makes me very uncomfortable Well cuz you're not splitting that WGA rate with Jack Jake Bender anymore right you're getting the 7,000 You're getting the full 7,000. I almost got kicked out of the trailer. So I don't I'm not this isn't really my trailer. I just didn't have the trailer. All right.

Zach and I were maybe at this writing segment goes well. Yeah. You know, I could talk to someone on the set of this show. I'd be amazing about because you and I did improv in college together almost eight years ago. And, you know, I have aspirations to, you know, write little jokes on a computer and maybe get paid. What is it? Is 70? It's the official WGA minimum in the schedule is what? 7200 a week? I don't think you know what those words mean. I'm just gonna say. There's a strike since we've last podcasted, you know, you might want to refresh on some of those things, but we're not here to talk about stuff like that.

We're here to see if you could give me notes on my writing. Yeah, exactly. And with like 20 other people. Exactly right. So I've written two scenes and I was wondering if maybe We could do we could do a live reading of these and then Zach could give me notes Yeah, Katie. I feel like you're not gonna talk for the entire hour. So do you want to play a part? It was an honor to be considered

Riley you're an actor would you like to read one of these scenes? I am a SAG actor, so I don't know if this is Union or if I'm getting paid. You're not. So is that a yes? I'll do it, but don't tell my reps. No, we're just kidding, we're having fun. I am calling the Union right now.

They're gonna bust this podcast. I would love nothing more than to read whatever the fuck you wrote. I am calling my I am calling the Union right now Nothing more than to read whatever the fuck you wrote Johnny would you like to read opposite Riley? I could yeah, we get my phone because I feel like you're gonna send it to me there I just texted it to Riley and Johnny and Zack if you could read scene direction, that'd be great. Yeah, you got it All right, this is scene one. I just sorry. Sorry. I just got a text from the Democrats, so I just need to like Donate real fast Let's have Johnny be customs officer and Riley you be passenger and Whenever you guys are ready, okay Actors you guys ready? Yeah actors ready. All right, let's do it

Okay, i'm gonna call action on the novel action interior airport day Passenger returning to the u.s. Approaches a customs officer the passenger sluggishly hands their passport to the officer How's your trip? Terrible I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have anything to declare? Only that I had a terrible trip.

Items wise though, did you buy anything overseas? Even if I did buy stuff, it would probably be just as terrible as this trip was for me. Hey, don't say that, alright? Look, we do need to keep the line moving, so... Right, right, yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your date, too.

Just put down bad vibes and durian. I'm afraid you can't bring fruit or vegetables in from other countries. This sucks. I literally didn't think this trip could get any worse. The passenger takes a durian out of their bag and throws it away. Sorry about that, but yeah, it's on the prohibited items list. The customs officer pointed a poster with a list of items. Wait, I can't bring my Haitian animal hide drums either?

No, no you can't. This sucks. How did you know about Haitian animal hide drums, but not know that you can't import them to the US? Great. This is just great. Next you're gonna tell me that I can't bring this big ass gun either. I swear, I'm having the weirdest year. Alright, you're being detained.

This sucks! Okay, that's the end. Good, good, good, good. Wow. I mean, good, good. Wow. I mean, wow, yeah. I feel like I feel like my writing was improved. That was really interesting.

It was tight. I mean, Casey, you're a director. What do you think? Isn't this Zach's segment? I'd like to hear it. Sorry, sorry, yeah, Zach, Zach, Zach. No, no, no, I want to hear what Casey has to say. Don't worry about it.

Some pacing issues, but we could get that on the second take. Yeah, I think that chalk it up to Zoom Delay. Zach? Yeah, no, I thought it was interesting. It was very similar to some of your past writing samples you've shown. There was a, which is spot, you don't have a voice, you know, that's good, right?

Point of view, yeah, exactly right. Erica? Yeah, voice, yeah. But you, there wasn't, I wanted to ask you something with a typo or not, because Riley correctly said what it should be. I was wondering about this too. Well, she correctly, yeah. The line, the password says, is this suck.

So I want to know, was that a writerly choice? Because sometimes you don't write how people actually talk. You're not always word perfect grammar wise, so I want to know what you were thinking there. Well, it's interesting, because, you know, Zach, you and I went to the same school, and, you know, they were teaching, I don't know if you ever did this exercise, but they had us go to a public place and listen to other people talk, right? Because dialogue often feels a little too... Yeah, I did that exercise.

I wasn't even close to done. Christ. Zach or otherwise. Thanks. No, yeah, where you go into public and you listen to people's conversation because people are constantly overlapping their dialogue and Interrupting each other and there's you know there's a lot of imperfections in the ways people speak in movies It's all picture perfect. You know it's all the silver screen. It's all the great white way and I think the next so was it a type

It was quickly my only review I'll say of this scene is that I do think it sucked. So that is what I get. All right, let's maybe move on to the next scene. I thought Johnny did great. Can I ask? Performances were amazing. Performances were, yeah.

Not quite word perfect, but yeah. No, Riley, it's assumed. I'm saying it's hard when there's only two people in a scene and you're like, oh, well, this one person did great. So even if you're not directly saying Riley was ass, it's like in omitting that, it's like Silence Speaks volumes in a lot of ways, and I've always said that.

And so it's- That's fair, that's fair. You have always said that. Emma, are we boring you? What? I am just confused, that's all. Not at all. Miles is here.

We added a third person. Would you like that? Please welcome to the show Miles Bonsignore. Have we plugged the backsters yet? Have we plugged the backsters yet? There will be plugs. I just thought we'd start off with a quote of yours. Just to get us started here. This is my favorite Miles segment.

And this is something that you said in an interview. Everybody, everybody, let's get it started. Sorry, no way. You said let's get it started. I'm so glad that you used let's get it started. And not the other one. We've had this conversation. Let's get into it. Ready, go! Sorry, no way. Yeah, you said let's get it started, so that's another comment. I'm so glad that you used let's get it started, and not the other one.

And not the other one. We've had this conversation. Okay. Sorry, Jeff, in an interview. It seems like you would get a kick out of using you. Just go. Just do it. Just do it.

I would never. So when you were asked what is life giving to you, you said the music of Steely Dan and drinking good wine. Was it not? It was life giving to you. It sounds like you're in your feels. Deep in them. Let's move on to the second scene.

Miles. How long is this? How many segments are there? We have four. So this is one? This is segment one. Scene one, segment one of four. Segment one of four.

Okay, pass on this one, Bond style. Let's have Miles, you're also a performer. And let's have you read scene, actually, yeah, let's have you read Jeffrey in this scene. Okay. Can we get Alex as woman one? Is that crazy? I don't have my phone on me.

Sorry, and where am I getting this? I haven't received sides Okay, you know and I'll text these to you. Okay. Let me let me cast this actually you know what Casey Let's have you cast this because you're a director as we said there's woman one woman two and Jeffrey It's gonna be deeply massage Yeah I'm going to be deeply misogynistic. She's just going to be offensive, yeah. Jeffrey, let's have Marika play Jeffrey. Okay, nevermind, I just sent it to Miles for no reason.

Okay. Sorry, so, yeah, and I'll just read over it. Marika is Jeffrey. Woman one. Okay. Woman one, let's go with... Preferably somebody whose phone number I have so I can send it to them fast. Okay, who has Jeff's phone number? I did receive the script. I don't even have a phone with me. Okay, let's have miles be woman one and

Do great Ali you'll be woman too. All right great finally all right All right. I really tried. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. All right, Ali's woman two. Miles is woman one, you said? Yeah. Marika's Jeffrey.

All right, great. And then Zach, you're on scene direction. Yeah, everybody have this script. I do have this script. And just to ask, just a couple, am I Italian in this or? Play it straight. Play it straight, the comedy's supposed to come from kind of like the realism.

Oh, realism. Okay, cool. So there's not a real Italian You're just normal Italian by descent we're straight speaking with a normal Studio G can you not have the camera like that? I fucking love this. This is good, but I can't see my co-stars. All right, whenever you guys are ready.

Okay, scene two. All right, here we go. Exterior coffee shop, Los Angeles, day. Two nothing burgers, sit at a table, sipping coffee. What? I think this guy next to us is listening to our conversation. What makes you say that?

Well, for one, he's been making direct eye contact each time one of us speaks. Maybe he has a lazy eye. Just sort of ableist. He's also been taking vigorous notes this whole time. He could be studying for an exam. When you got up to the bathroom, he had a panic attack, seemingly not knowing whether to stay put

or to follow you to the ladies' room and transcribe your shit. Sorry, easy does it. I only peed. And easy does it is the affectation. Yeah, the direction. My point is he's making me uncomfortable. Would you lighten up? Oh, my God.

Believe it or not, everyone in the world is interested in what you have to say. The man chimes in. Sorry to chime in here, but the current verbiage is actually not everyone in the world is interested in what you have to say. Oh, egg on my face, thanks so much. Egg on your face? He just proved my point. Well, I've got your attention. Can I have both of your numbers? Sure.

Of course not. Just the one is fine then. Women too, writes down her number and hands it to Jeffrey. Two, one, two, huh? Let me guess. Most famous area code in the country. Dublin. Dublin. Idiot.

End of scene. Sorry, can we take that last beat again? I feel like it wasn't clear what just happened. Just read it, you know, with some pace. Alright, and whenever you guys are ready from The woman jots down her number from the top of scene one So woman right center number and his is Jeffrey 2 1 2 huh let me guess Most famous area code in the country Dublin idiot So Idiot. So. See it didn't work any better the second time. It didn't feel better the second time.

What were you hoping would happen? It's all about the zoom delay. You said it didn't feel better? It did. It didn't. It did not. I don't think it did. Any notes or.

Jeff, is this something you actually did to two women? I kind of wish you named the women characters. This was during my school assignment where I had to go in public and listen to the conversation. So did you purposely set that up in the previous part where we were talking? Like, was that always your plan? I got lucky. No way.

This did not pass the Bechdel test. No. The only thing I wanted to talk about, the only thing, it's just, what was the parenthetical easy does it? What does that mean? Well, and I don't want does that mean? Yeah, yeah. And I don't wanna give a line read,

but just because the writer is kind of the master of the domain of television, whereas in film it's obviously Casey and Billy's battle. And you see this is a TV show, this scene we read? I see this as a cold open. I had a question about one of the lines. And we do have to move on. Okay. Yeah. I actually have a question about one of the lines. And we do have to move on. Okay.

I actually have a question about your inspiration, Jeffrey, because I understand that you take a lot of inspiration from music. When I write, I usually hop back and forth between my laptop and my guitar. That's my favorite one. Maybe that's your problem. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that.

I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that.

I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that.

I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. Oh, 200 episodes, right? How have we done? Where's that look again? This is dog that just needs to go outside.

Just opened the back door. That's all his eyes are saying to me right now. It's been a long journey. There's been a lot of mistakes made. There's been a lot of pleasure given. Just like on the post-nuptial episode, episode I believe it was 178, where we graded Amir's wedding. I want to grade the first 200 episodes of the show on this custom rubric.

Jake, would you do the honors of reading this? I'm pretty engrossed in this game. It's 9-2 West Ham at this point. It's 1-1. West Ham's really grown into it. Oh you didn't mention that goal, did you? You were here with us from the beginning. Would you like to do the honors? Sure. All right, I'm gonna text this rubricric to you, and you just, this is going to be out of a possible 21 points, and we're going to give it a letter grade. Just read every column by row. And I don't mean salmon.

Goodbye. Ha ha! Commercial! Oh, yeah. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. How is your social battery right now? Because mine is at an all time mid. It can be easy to ignore that social battery though and spread ourselves thin, especially

with social gatherings picking up after the winter. Invitations are going out, not necessarily to Joel's house cooling party, but still. And it's hard to figure out what the right amount of socializing is for you. Like, how do you like to recharge? Maybe you thrive around people, or maybe you need some more alone time. And therapy can give you the self-awareness to build a social life that doesn't drain your battery. I'm in therapy every week, I benefit from it greatly, and I would highly recommend to anyone thinking of giving therapy a try that you start with BetterHelp. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch

therapists at any time for no additional charge. Find your social sweet spot with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash what's that today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash what's that? Thanks BetterHelp. And we're back. All right, Ferris, let's just.

Steel falling? That's industrial steel hitting concrete floors. All right. Ferris, whenever you're ready, and guys, everybody chime in here. Let's get everybody's opinions and we'll amalgam. We'll put together an amalgam of what score will land for each category. Ferris, whenever you're ready. All right. Yeah, it looks like we've got seven categories and we can, there are three scores you can give each one. So,

category one, readiness of host. Above standard, this is for three points. I think we could just skip this one and it's the lowest possible. Let's just read each one. This whole rubric took me three hours yesterday. I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, that sounds too long. You might need to work on your time management.

And that's why you were late tonight. Well I was hopping back and forth into my guitar. Two hours was a song I wrote. Well if this if your score was to be above standard which I think it's unanimously not but here's the description. Host demonstrated a consistent and profound work ethic. He worked tirelessly and without error to create an area of playfulness that put all at ease. Engage, engagingness of content, positivity of mind and frequency of joy came to be expected by guests and audience alike.

Hollywood took notice. I don't think engagingness is a word. There's not a single thing in there that... That's the best part. life. Hollywood took notice. I don't think engagingness is a word. If this was, if this meets the standard, this is the middle grade, the description is, host was present for records. Sorry, I haven't read in a while. It should be recordings. I just watch a lot of YouTube nowadays. You're not used to holding your phone horizontally, I think. Yeah, exactly.

You got to watch widescreen. Okay, so below standard, Hosts shamelessly flew by the seat of his pants for four years straight. Tens of thousands of hours of listeners' time were wasted in cold blood, slash with a smile. The majority of the show consisted of flimsily premised segments such as thin-kinkle energy or gnaw, and the price of rice. Some episodes, lovingly referred to by the host as wax episodes, were bereft of preparation entirely, amounting to dead-air-ridden periods of lifeless conversation. While it's presumed that the show will continue past episode 200,

history will ultimately remember the host for what he is. A fraud. What the fuck? You wrote it. You wrote it. I just said you wrote it. I know I wrote it, but everybody's nodding in agreement with below standard. I was gonna say two, but if people all veto me, I think it might be a one.

Raise your hand if you think it's three. We're rating all 200 collective words. Yeah, just the show so far. All right, I'm the only one who fucking said three. Two, raise your hand if you think it's two That's so just a mere Sorry, man, and one below standard Kidding me all right fine

All right Ferris next category all right next category is appearance of host. There's so much text Seven categories So much text. Did you say there were? Seven categories. Oh my god. Jesus. We can pick up the pace a little bit. Alright, so one out of three. We're already getting a failing grade.

Top score for appearance of host would be, host came to the show dressed to the nines slash serving... Oh my god. Anya, do you want to take that one? You wrote it, you say it. I'm not going to say it. Oh my god. Just... Um... Uh, Anya, do you wanna take that one? Oh my god. You wrote it, you say it. I'm not gonna say it, I was gonna get somebody

who I feel like can say it. Sorry, you want me to... What is it? You want me to say it if you were giving time? Oh, there you go, okay, Riley said it. I'm not saying it. Okay, there you go. Thank you.

Ferris did it. Heads turned on swivels as he approached the studio, often causing multi-vehicle pileups. Once inside, he was faced with the impossible task of deflecting HR violation after HR violation from his lustful boss, Marty Michael. ["MARTY MICHAEL"] It won't be a paper.

So that's the top score. Middle score is Host War average attire for records. ["HOST WAR AVERAGE ATTIRE FOR RECORDS"] Host War average attire for records. (*laughter*) And bottom score would be the degeneration of the host's ocular lipid glands as representative of his appearance at large. Red-eyed, thin-ankled, and rotted through the host embodied rumple. (*laughter*) Can I say, can I interrupt?

Alright, raise your hand if it's three. I don't know if they can hear me. That rumple? No, that's, that's, I came dressed to the nine slash, Riley? What's that? That's, I came dressed to the nine slash. Serving cunt. Yeah, tell him.

Oh, chef. There it is. Three, I think. Jeff. Yeah? We have a theory that last time you didn't turn on the video because you didn't think you looked good. I did look like shit that episode.

Yeah. But it wasn't on purpose. I think sometimes people like it. No, I don't think you looked like shit on purpose. I think you didn't turn on the video because you looked like shit. Yeah. You think I tried to dress well and didn't,

and then I purposely didn't record? No. I think your default state might be just looking like shit. Anyone think I dressed to the nines? I think so. But there's never been a pile up because of how you dressed. All right fine, two. Who thinks that I just dressed fine?

I'll give, yeah, I'll give it two. All right, all right. Two out of five, or sorry, two out of six. But the bottom score, including your fucked up dry eyes, that's really, it was swaying me. I did say two, but I will say if you hadn't- It's kind of a combo of one and two. It's like one and a half. Can we do a one and a half of a combo. It's a combo. It's like one and a half.

Can we do a one and a half? Yeah. One and a half. Everybody, one and a half. One and a half. I'll give one and a half. Sometimes it's sort of like an Air One smoothie guy. Yeah.

What? I feel like Jess up. You know what? Wearing sweatpants. Also, Carrie Bradshaw said in an episode of Sex in the City, sometimes a girl just needs a half. There you go. in the city sometimes a girl just needs a half There's category next category do we you're gonna do all the categories

Let's keep it. Let's keep it going faster. You know fairest things you row You know I feel like anxiety that causes the pace to kind of quicken so on you. Why don't you take this up? We know you don't have the Text it to you, and we'll pass it off because I don't want to keep burdening Ferris. I'm blind. This will quit. Can you screen it?

Okay, then let's do Ferris and just like let's double time. All right, timeliness of host. The host's promptness, this is top score. The host's promptness suggested a personal adoption of the motto, if you're on time, you're late. He displayed an obvious respect for his guests time and the studio calendar. Category score middle score is the host was on time for records. Number three, bottom score is the host pushed the boundaries of what it means to be tardy. Sometimes 15 minutes late to a Zoom record.

Other times missing in-person records altogether without warning. the boundaries of what it means to be tardy. Sometimes 15 minutes late to a Zoom record. Other times missing in-person records altogether without warning. Leaving his guests in the studio shocked and upset, wondering if everything was okay. Week by week he carved a perfect statue of complete disregard out of the marble of for others time. One.

Yeah, one. Unanimous one. Next category. There were a few days he didn't show up. Yeah, okay, so three out of nine so far. This is obviously one. Next category. There were days he didn't show up. It's all one. Okay, so three out of nine so far. This is obviously not good. Right.

We'll do about five. Right. There were days he didn't show up and your car was just in the lot. That's... Yep. Category is respectful. Quality of sound, Ferris? Yeah, yeah, quality of sound.

Top score, audio levels during records were mixed to a T, ultimately earning the badge of high fidelity. Sound effects were used sparingly, improving upon each episode's direction without interrupting it. Alright, middle score would be, listeners could hear the show. Bottom score is, despite supervising editors' best efforts, every single episode of the show contains clipping. Bizarre and grating sounds such as, but not limited to, industrial steel hitting concrete floors,

headgum CTO Andrew Pyle choking on a bagel, and the Daniel Futer song, You Had a Bad Day, play haphazardly throughout the show, often interrupting the few rare instances of pleasant conversation. It can't be one, cause I feel like, yeah. Choking on a bagel is so specific. You have that, you have that you have that don't you? One raise your hand

All right, so we're at four out of twelve. Just keep it going, Ferris. Two more, I think. Chris gets a three though. Three more. Next category is Joy Had. Alright, top score is Carnival, Mardi Gras, Diwali. All of these pale in comparison to the glee this show has brought to all.

Despite the walls of the LA studios being sort of a charcoal and not something choice-er like a chine green or a cola, the show has imbued a sense of elation that has brought people together, not separated them like other shows. See, segments. Oh. Unbelievable. Middle score is the show has been chuckle funny. Bottom score is the host has consistently chosen violence over joy. Whether he's singling out people's biggest insecurities on camera or doxing where guests' children go to school, the show is terrifying to be a part of.

Forget laughter for now. A good starting point for this show would be getting to a place where people's physical safety isn't in danger Three for the site so two or one two give it a two I celebrated Diwali, so I technically had more joy from this. Three for the sickos. All right, so two or one? Two. Let's give it a two. All right. Somewhere in the middle.

What is that, six out of 15? Moving on. Two more, let's round it out. You write in very passive voice for these, by the way. Two more last time. What the hell is this? Oh, there's, yeah, Keyleth Boyd had. Wisdom Gotten

Joy Had Joy Had? Everything is so passive in past tense Can we just put a movie on? Can we just put a movie on? Top score for wisdom gotten is When speaking on important subjects the host made a concerted effort

to cite established experts and peer reviewedreviewed studies. While Truth was occasionally exaggerated for comedic effect, the vast majority of the show was educational in nature. The host's savvy went beyond the odd-ile plane. What the fuck is that? Elevating the consciousness of the collective. So, I think that that's maybe impossible to give three points. Yeah. It's extreme.

Such extremes. Middle score. Facts were said during the first 200 episodes. That is indisputable. Indisputable. Yeah, even that is questionable. And the bottom rung for wisdom gotten is the host spun a complex and indecipherable web of lies. In a misguided and vague pursuit to get wise,

the host would often monologue nonsense at guests uninterrupted until he tired himself out. The phrase word salad would be an understatement. Maybe word vomit's better. Maybe two. I think we're gonna go one. One again? Yeah.

The show is either you saying nonsense or writing nonsense for us to say. Yes, that's all it's been today so far. There were no facts. Zero needs to be an option. So seven out of 18, what? Seven out of 18, last one, last one. Oh, are there two more?

No, there's one more. There's one more. All right, we got this, we got it. Final category, top score is, it is commonly known We got this. We got it. Final category, top score is... It is commonly known... Oh, sorry, yeah. Fear conquered. It is commonly known that fear is the opposite of love. By this logic, if one wants to become more loving,

one must first conquer their fear. This show has helped tens of thousands of people and countless others do just that. T thousands of people and countless others do just that. Tens of thousands and countless others. A real distinguishing feature between those two groups. Maybe leaving three for this one. Of course not. Well, let's see. Middle score would be, fear was neither conquered nor furthered.

Bottom score would be, this show makes the world worse. It is, without question, aural terrorism. Oh, you got aural, that was not audio, I'm so proud. All right, raise your hand if you think it's three. It's a sage. So it's an obvious one. All right, so we all think the show is aural terrorism? No, I thought it was fine, I think two. Yeah, I think it's an obvious one. All right, so we all think the show is oral terrorism? No, I thought it was fine.

I think two. Yeah, I think it's two. It's fine. How's the game, James? How's the game going? Ultimately, we ended with a score of 9 out of 21, which is a complete fail. 9.5, which you could run up to 10.

Yeah, we got a 0.5. Yeah, we got a 0.5. Is that a score, or are you just dancing? This is copyrighted. This is totally copyrighted. This is very copyrighted. Unusable copyright. YouTube is ripping this down.

So... Famous song, too. I think so much, Mike. Yeah, you're watching this. It's a clear. You're not even crediting it or anything. That's one of it. He's just playing.

You're gonna get the head gum channel ripped. I have to go. Thank you Zach Duff for joining us on This is Jeopardy! High stakes. Oh my god. I have to go.

I can't hear anyone. What's that? I can't hear anyone. What's that? I can't hear anyone either. Guys, this is high stakes, Jefferty. Oh. For the first time ever. Tournament of Champions edition. On this show.

We just get the people that won, Jefferty. No, it's even weirder than that. For some reason, the prize is a $500 Airbnb gift card. Jesus. I told him not to do this. Oh my God. You cannot.

You can't charge this to Marty. Listen, it's been 200 episodes of me putting people in tough spots and so one out of 21 people today, 20, because I'm not playing, will go home with an actual Airbnb gift card. And by the way, everyone's staring at me blankly not excited about the potential prize. You guys, it's real. I've gotten gift cards from there from him before. Yeah, it was amazing.

Can someone ask him if he's planning to put this on? Are you putting this on the headgum card or is this coming out of your own pocket? Alright, here we go. Fucker, this is Jeopardy! Okay. Let's start with Erika. What? Erika, do you wanna pick something first? Pick a category. Sure.

Or Alex? Sure, I'll do the best head gum guests for 300 Everyone can guess but you have to buzz like It was will come over. This straight shooting ad saleswoman only needs to guess one time to become a headgum podcast legend. This is, I

believe you'll have it as Sam Shackle but Sam Massa. That's got to be correct. You didn't say what is. Wait, you didn't say what is. Are you serious? $500? Can I steal? Wait, you didn't say what are you serious? What is Sam what is Sam what is Sam Shackle?

How do you remember which team is which person because there's 20 I'm writing it down to have 300 for well, you know, I'm gonna have to give it to Will, because Jake is rich, so like we don't need to. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, guys. Thank you. You're not on my team. You're really cute.

You want more of those? I think I would. Yeah? Can we get a time check here? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And how come you're not gonna close it? Moving on.

I'm gonna close it. That would be so funny. That would be so funny. Will controls the board. Okay. Oh wait, shit, sorry, I have to add this to somebody's team. I'll do Headgum Podcast Alumni Club for 200, Jeff.

Headgum Podcast Alumni Club for 200. A graphic designer slash photographer. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Okay, honor system, who buzzed first? Me, yeah. Anya. Anya yeah, okay a graphic designer photographer that Buzz it until after you read the full clue. No, that's not how

Buzz on your buzz. You don't silence women a graphic designer slash photographer who's equally esteemed clientele include boy genius and this Anya buzzed It's uh, do what is who is who is Grayson Grayson correct? All right, on yes 200 on you controls the board Where where you headed next on you? I'm gonna go podcast Alumni Club 300. Headgum podcast Alumni Club for 300. This redheaded Georgian leveraged

a successful guest appearance on the Headgum podcast to land a starring role in NBC's Saturday Night Live. Marika? Oh fuck, I remember his last name. What is, Dan Marshall? Yes, there you go. Yeah, I might've given it to Marika there because she got it right All right, Marika controls the board quick score update will and Marika are tied at 300 guys

There's 20 of you. You got a buzz if you know this shit Guys, there's 20 of you. You got a buzz if you know this shit I know well, you know what that's how it's got a you know this way Jeopardy doesn't have like 20 guests on it Yeah, right America controls the board let's go avoidable mistakes for Even read it mistakes for 300. Buzz, buzz, buzz. I love Foxbite. All right. Buzz. You can't buzz before you even read it. How the fuck do you do it where it's horizontal to have? Okay, there we go.

Avoidable mistakes for 300. Buzz. Okay, let's implement a new rule. I have to read the whole thing out because maybe not everybody can see equally. Also buzz. But you can buzz as soon as I finish. The reason the beginning. So the new rule is just how not everybody can see equally. Also Buzz. But you can buzz as soon as they finish. The reason the beginning-

So the new rule is just how Jeopardy actually works? All right, new rule. You have to phrase the answer in the form of a question. Dane? What? Are you really gonna let him talk to me like that? Who? Dane.

Oh, yeah. All right. I can't stop this. The reason the beginning of the show had a sort of frantic energy to it was Casey What is the pandemic? That's incorrect buzz buzz? Marika what is the fact that we didn't get approval to film until day of? incorrect Might also to do with the video not finishing it on time

But well, it's guess something else because you buzz buzz Alex. What is because Jeff is involved? I mean that circling the drain. I don't think anyone's gonna get it. I'm gonna have to give it to Alex the correct answer was What or no, sorry, that's not the right answer. I changed it. You didn't change it, are you? What the hell? Buzz! Yes. Jeff had too much cold brew day of.

Incorrect. Buzz, there were poppers from Gabris' show. Incorrect. Buzz, Jeff was late. Uh, incorrect. It's about me being sour, that's your hint. Buzz, you didn't get enough sleep the night before. No.

Buzz, wasn't there like... Your laptop, the dongle of your laptop didn't work. Wrong. Your shirt wasn't dry. You got a lemon day too. Wrong. Wrong. shirt was in Wrong wrong it was breaking up someone well wrong those traffic. Yeah, I lids were bothering him wrong The correct answer is what is Jeff was upset that the venue was so small. Oh my god! You're a piece of shit. You are such a fucker.

Jack was upset. Why do you have Headgum Podcast Trivia? Isn't it all... Let's go Sage controls the board. Why? Alright, Joel! Joel controls the board. Headgum Podcast Trivia 300. Headgum podcast trivia 300. Headgum podcast trivia for 300.

Jake's walkout song at the Gramercy Theater show. This is in the wrong category. This is in the wrong category. No, this wasn't a mistake made. This isn't a mistake made. Mine was Bad Day. Yeah, correct. No, that was Amir's.

Was it? Yeah, Marika's was Daddy by Internet Boyfriend. I think you asked for yours. Was it Gangnam Style? No. It was a punk, it wasn't a punk song. Jake, you should know this. What's a song that you would come out to?

Is it a Blink-182 song? No. Was it Wonderwall? No. Thank you. No one's buzzing. No one's buzzing. All right.

Nobody got it right. The correct answer is what is Cotton Eye Joe? What's the song you think that is? I don't remember because I didn't choose that. Ferris controls the boar. Oh, sweet. Let's do Headgun Podcast trivia. Billy controls the boar.

Cotton Eye Joe just landed. Is it me? Okay. Ferris, you were too happy. Let's do... Oh, oh. Cotton a Joe just landed. Is it me? Okay. Paris you were too happy. Let's do. Oh, oh. You wanted it too much. Let's do Rice Songs 100.

Rice Songs for 100. This Lou Reed parody produced one of the most cacophonous hooks to date. Buzz. Anya Buzz. It's a, it's the walk on the wild side one. Walk on the wild side one. Okay, but what's the actual title? Of the actual song, Walk on the Wild side one walk on the wild side one? Okay, but what's the actual title of the actual song walk on the wild side walk? No what's?

What's the actual parody title walk on the wild rice? It's a good guy on the wild side Wok WokK, yeah. On the wild rice? Nope. On the wild grains? Alright, you know what? Nobody's getting these right. What is use a walk to ensure Bert Charles

is on the right? Not even a parody at that point. Just a new title. Alex Bergman controls the board. That was so hard. Rice controls the board. That was so hard. Alex controls the board. Me? Let's go Rice Songs 300.

Rice Songs for 300? Emma's loving this. This burnt rice was sung during the fan favorite All Women episode. The rice bit is the one bit I saw because I watched the livestream because the Doughboys were on it. You're obsessed with the Doughboys. Episode the rice is the one bit I saw cuz I watched the live stream cuz the doughboys You're obsessed with the

All of the rice. It's different songs, don't forget it. Guys, Marika's taking it away. She's got it. She's got it. Yeah, she should have some negative. Yeah. I'm zero. Well, everybody's guessing wrong. I'm zero now.

That's not part of it. All right, Marika's in the lead with 600. Will has 300, Anya has 200, everybody else is at zero. God, we're only halfway done. Marika controls the board. Avoidable mistakes, 200. Avoidable mistakes at the Gramercy Theater live show for 200. The biggest complaint amongst audience members about the show.

Buzz. Too many guests. You had too many guests, not enough microphones. You willy-nilly invited people backstage. You didn't give some of us headphones. It wasn't free. You didn't... Wait, Johnny, what was your guess? I didn't say a single thing.

Really, this whole episode? I think it's that people wanted Johnny's number, but we didn't actually give it to them. Oh, right. Okay, Joel said something then. What did you say? I said the venue was too small. That's... I agree, but no, that wasn't... Just another company. Was it because I agree, but no, that wasn't it. Just another company. Was it because I wasn't there, Jeff? Uh, it's what is that Andrew Pyle

didn't exactly bring it. What is that Andrew didn't bring it? What is? What is that, Andrew? All right, Rachelle, what do you got? You control the board. Rachelle, it's you, I think. Rachelle! Let's go. Rochelle! Yeah.

Oh god. Let's go, avoidable mistakes, 100. Avoidable mistakes made at the Gramercy Theater live show for 100. What is the reason? Sorry, the reason? Oh my god. Because it's super money.

Emma, Emma. Because it's her birthday and you ate all the cookies. Correct! That is so fucked up. Well you didn't really include the part where you ate all of her cookies, but. I didn't eat all the cookies. Correct! That is so fucked up. You didn't really eat the part where you ate all of her cookies, but. I didn't eat all her cookies. I bought the cookies for her.

And then you ate them all? And then you were all eating them. That's my idea. From Chip City? All of her had halves. All right, Emma controls the board. Score update, Emma has 100, the rest is very similar to what I said earlier.

Emma, you have 100? I have 100, cool. Let's do Ray's songs for two more minutes. Okay, I'm gonna Emma Fo to what I said earlier. Emma, you have 100? I have 100? Cool. Let's do race songs for 200. Wait. I meant Emma Foley, I'm sorry. I'm gonna go by last names. Foley controlled the board. People email me for that, Emma, sometimes too, so I guess.

Do you forward the emails? Yeah, I do. Best Headgum Podcast Guest for 200. Best Headgum Podcast Guest for 200. Not like an Ivyy leaguer Emma It was sage it was me oh sage and I was gonna say Marika Sage controls the board I'll do a Headgum Podcast Trevia for 200. Headgum Podcast Trevia for 200.

Sage edits a lot of the social clips. She knows a lot of people. Buzz, buzz. I don't even get the specific venue where Jeff tried to host a live show last year. Shut the fuck up. Buzz, buzz. No, no.

Buzz, buzz. That is a question. You have to, I have to read the question. You know it. I have to read the question before you can buzz. I don't give a shit, nothing no part of the show has rules. Anya fucking buzzed. Anya buzzed for real, Jeff.

Anya's probably the only one who knows the exact, not the one at large Anya. Jeff, we all know what you're talking about. You're saying the name of, okay, so it was the Madison Square Garden conference room, okay, but what was the name of the conference room? You have to remember this you're the only one who's gonna remember can I look in my email? A letter That's the same as just saying correct right The yeah the correct answer was the legends room is just saying correct, right? Yeah! Yeah, the correct answer was the Legends Room at Madison Square Garden.

People don't know about this. For months last year, I was in talks with MSG to host a live record of the show at a conference room at Madison Square Garden. So the poster was gonna say the Headgum Podcast. Sorry, I didn't get it up to you guys. You guys. You guys are the main ones on the show. You guys are the main ones on the show. You guys are the mainum podcast. Sorry. I didn't know you guys were you guys. I was on it for too long.

I was on it for too long. I was on it for too long. I was on it for too long. Headgum podcast live at Madison Square Garden, but it would have been in the headgum podcast. Into the future. Yeah, a business center, under an arena.

All right, the score to beat is Marika at 600, Anya's closest with 400. Here we go, Anya controls the board. I'll do best podcast guess. No, I rice songs 200 right songs for 200 the one rice song Marika was forced to sing on her week when Jeff had was Wi-Fi less in Kentucky Marika rice burn a skyfall parody that is correct what is rice burn? Marika, can you give us a little preview of that? For those who forgot? Let the rice burn?

No, sing it. It was skyfall. Otherwise I'm not giving you the credit. Rice burn was a parody of the skyfall! Sorry, did you not get that? Rice fall. I don't think those are the lyrics, but okay. Marika controls the board. End the game. And the rice falls so it's so right. I know the lyrics, but okay.

Marika controls the board. End the game. Skyrook. Marika's pulling away, yeah, Marika's 800. Can we call it? Yeah. Yeah, I think we have to. I think no one would know if we're gonna catch up.

There is Final Jeopardy. Yeah, let's do Double Jeopardy for these. Double Jeopardy. Double Jeopardy, yeah. All right, I'll go head to gum podcast. Maybe just do a version. I know, I feel like Marika's been the most abused by this podcast. Jeopardy for these double jeffordy double jeffordy The most abused by this podcast Thanks, Jake anybody wants to peel off that's fine

The location of Jeff's first 14 appearances on the show. Buzz. His house. His closet. Buzz, Buzz, Buzz. Who else buzzed? Who was that? Oh, Ferris. Ferris, what is a basement? It was a closet, but where was the closet? In his parents' room the closet in the basement where in the mommy's house

Actually Joel got it Alright, I mean Joel you're on the board you're not gonna win and that was double jeopardy right I'm double jeopardy to headphones and anything's possible Jeff what was that one episode where you wore a tuxedo in your parents' closet? The head goskers. Oh, the head goskers. That's right, that's right.

That was an unhinged experience for me. Joel controls the board, let's finish this shit out. Best guess. Best guess for 100. This redheaded Floridian won't rest until everyone in the office Casey Donahue Casey where are you from? I'm from Coral Springs whoever asked that I was will not that it matters

Orlando all right last one This Headgum Podcast Alumni Club. This former Headgum Podcast frequenter went on to work on This American Life to in large part to his work on this show. I heard Emma Foley first. No idea. You heard this Emma first and I was buzzing on behalf of Vanya.

Thank you. Sage. My comment is high. Oh! This is fucking bullshit. Break. All right, final scores are Emma with 100, Joel with 200, Will with 300,

Sage and Anya tied for second with 400, and winning fucking Jeopardy is Marika Brownlee! You deserve it! You deserve it! You deserve it! She's also the person who rejects the invoice handbook. Yeah.

Of course, yeah. This one's the longest one. Those ones are short. Yeah. Is that it? one those ones are short yeah let's let's let's all just take a minute all right first of all plugs first of all everybody 200 episodes can we treat it with the reverence that it deserves I feel like everybody's here to just can get in and get out. It feels like everybody's doing me a favor, which I don't appreciate, but I do appreciate that you are here.

What- let's everyone go around very quickly and just say one nice thing about this show. About me. Let's start with Amir. Everybody on the show seems to like it and the super fans of the show really love it. They are all in on this inside joke, and it's a tight rope to walk hosting the show, because you have to be likable,

but really unlikable at the same time. So I think only Jeff and probably like six other people at the company could pull it off. So a lot of people. But it's exciting to see it all come together. 200! What a fucking honor. Let's give it up. Backhand is how we do it. A couple other people can do it. Just to piggyback Amir, you are such a unique person.

Not me, the show. Jeff is such a unique person. This is Jeff's least favorite thing in the world to be complimented. So let's kill everybody go around and compliment Jeff yeah, and I think that it takes perseverance to do anything for as long as you've done it and Sometimes you can get tired and I'm sure so much so you don't want to do it I think it's impressive that you put your best foot forward and always try and create a unique experience with each new episode. And yeah, I think as much negativity as we throw your way,

I think at the end of the day, we enjoy your company. We enjoy the show and kudos to you. This wasn't what this was supposed to be. It was supposed to be like everybody razzing the show one last time. Great head of hair, good skin. Katie? I can't follow that.

That was earnest and sincere and beautiful. So say something disurnist. Your eyelids actually, I haven't noticed them to be very dry when I watch the video episodes. Oh. That's the one thing. That's literally the one thing. That's a splash of water, goes a long way.

Jeff, what else is there to say? You host the show every week and It's a long way Jeff. What what else is there to say? you host the show every week and All right, we got a yeah Anya Rochelle, can you hear me Jeff? Barely if you want to open the door. Do you want to come in here? I can hear you I Can you be happy we love working with you. And even though like you're an absolute nightmare in every way, like production wise, you're such a charming and good person and you like genuinely care about this company.

And that's really evident. And that's why we like kind of forgive you anything. And like it's been such an honor to be your supervising producer and clean up your mistakes. And we like really, we really love you. And we're sorry we locked you in this studio for a day. Don't be, don't be. Anya had to print out steps of me recording everything. And you still fuck it up.

And I still love it. And you still fuck it up. For Rochelle? I think you have a beautiful singing voice. That's nice. That's nice. Guys, we gotta finish this up, but just one word to describe the show. Erika?

Great. So-so. I feel terrible for Alex, Erika, and Dane. I feel like they didn't have headphones and I wasted an hour. I had headphones. I feel like, you know, the amount the amount of user generated content you get is surprising Like the fans the fans really love you to the point where they'll dedicate hours of their own time

To put together videos that a hundred people will watch That's nice The fans the fans are great the fans are great. The fans are great. Good fans. Yeah, the fans are good. This show is just so. Well said. Very good.

I pass. It's fair. It's nice. I ran into Jeff yesterday in the street and he was exiting a grocery store and the clerk, he had forgotten a big parcel of meat inside the store and the clerk chased him, this is true, chased him down and to which he was, she said, you left your meat in the store and he said, I'm not going back in there. An ex-lover of mine is in the store,

and he made his current girlfriend go get it. And I thought that was fucked up. And that's how I feel about the show. That's 100% true. What did you forget? Sliced. Why wouldn't you go back in? The former lover of mine and I are on good terms

So like if I went back in I was gonna have to say hi to her and then it would be like the awkward thing of like I'm with my current girlfriend talking to her which is fine, but like I just didn't want to put her in that position I didn't hear that, I didn't hear a former lover mentioned at all. I thought you were just refusing to That's not my meat That's not my meat That's not my meat That's not my meat That's not my meat. That's not my meat. That's not my meat. That's not my meat. That's not my meat.

Every... So much joy. So much joy. Facetious. You skipped Alex over here. Yeah, you skipped me. Thanks a lot. I really love the rice songs. I think you get really creative on the sorry. I'm sorry. Really? I really love the rice songs.

I think you get really creative on the lyrics. I'm a little confused why you think it tastes like sand, though. I think you might be eating the wrong thing, maybe. It doesn't taste the consistency. It's more the texture. I think you don't know how to make rice. Maybe you should boil it first.

Boil it. Boil it. Maybe some water. He hasn't washed the rice. From y'all's right to left, let's start with Marika. You skipped Ferris. Oh, Ferris, sorry. Oh sure.

I'd say this show unites us all against Jeff, but yeah, it brings people together. Common enemy. On a real note, this is one of the best things I have ever been a part of. Aw. I don't know how to figure out how to insult you after I say that, so I'll just leave it at that. This was truly one of the greatest things I was a part of. First of all, huge shout out to Faris and Marika for getting this show off the ground more than anyone else.

Well, that's putting other people down. I didn't mean that. I just mean they worked really hard at the beginning to make it something cool Especially with Marika recording the saxophone lick, which I don't know if everybody knows or if they've forgotten But yeah, Marika recorded that sax Ferris mixed it. Is that true? That's true. Oh my god, and you know the whole thing I don't know if we even still do this on the audio But the sax fillers was Ferris idea and he also would used to comb through and created the cold open idea. So this, you know, this show is mostly the work of Ferris and Marika, so shout out to y'all.

And let's go, swing it over to Marika. That was so refreshing to hear you just speak honestly for a second. I feel like that was the first time I ever met Jeffrey J. I was like, this guy's really nice. Wow. Back to your regularly scheduled history, y' nice. Wow. That was good. And back to your regularly scheduled material. Yeah, yeah.

Erica? Yeah. I mean, I think piggybacking off of what Ferris said, I think the show ultimately does what I wanted it to do, which is bringing everyone together, people that don't really interact at work all the time, having them have a chance to talk to each other, and I think you're the force that is able to do that and make everyone comfortable,

even if it's comfortable in their discomfort or their anger at you. Confused. So I think you're the only one that can pull it off and you do consistently, and I'm proud of you for that. With the consistency of sand. Consistency of sand. I can't believe this is the last episode.

This is so exciting. Yeah. Katie. The show's canceled. Oh, yeah. Oh, shoot, okay. That's why we all came today. When the rice burns.

Actually, not the show. Jake left the room to go delete the RSS feed. He's leaving the back catalog up? This is the last live show iteration. Ally, this one's for you. Oh my god, he's getting from the front. Five, six, five, six, seven, eight. ["The RSS Feed"]

Shuffle it around. ["The RSS Feed"] Right? Everybody dance. You have to cut this out, right? I don't know. Obviously you're thinking about monetization. Charring basmati could be your new addiction. It's all in the singe. Who's a walk for friction?

Don't want soft quinoa, so I'll singe biryani. Who could eat a grain that has not been ruined? And baby, don't you like brown rice? I blaze with a little bit of fire. I'm a little bit of a fireman. Soft quinoa, so I'll singe biryani Who could eat a grain that has not been ruined? And baby, don't you like brown rice? I blazed it in a rice device It's like the opposite of cold, dry ice And we'll eat it with hoisin'

Eat it with hoisin' B-U-R-N bomba rice Singe ends, ruins sushi rice Heat your pan now, charcoal rose Torch those grains, you're burning rice B-U-R-N Bomba Rice Sinjans Ruin Sushi Rice Heat your pan now, Char-Kow Rose Torch those grains, you're burning rice B-U-R-N Sticky Rice Skald and bacon cauterize Smolder brown rice sushi roll

Ignite all Arborio B-U-R-N Jasmine Rice Ruin all your ancient graves B-U-R-N Red Tardo Let's ignite rice till it blows. Let's sink down as rice if you char them because I like burning grains before I was concussed. Fire is going off. Okay, keep going. Barkeep over here. Keep the burnt rice flowing.

And babe, it'll turn brown rice. Rice flowing and bathing all time! Brown rice! It goes down easy with a pint of a nice thick malt that is made with oisen, made with oisen! B-U-R-N short grain rice. Hear that sizzle, far boil. Zim-bam, on to rice. That is how you really char.

B-U-R-N rice pudding. Dessert rice can also singe. B-U-R and rice pudding. Dessert rice can also singe. B-U-R and blacken around. You can take burnt rice to work. B-U-R and paella. Spanish rice is good when burnt. Let poison glob onto rice. Even ruin instant rice.

What's it take to attain the char? What's it take to make rice hard? Hurry up there's tons of bomba. Tauterize gains, conquer fear. What's it take to rice drug char? What's it take to make rice hard? Hurry up there's tons of bomba. Tauterize gains, one stroke. B-U-R-N, Jasmine Rice.

Ruin all your ancient grains. Sing along, B-U-R-N, Jasmine Rice. Let's ignite rice till it glows. The earth is burning. The earth is burning. Ruin all your ancient graves! Sing along, B-U-R-N, red cargo! Let's ignite rice till it glows! B-U-R-N, Jasmine rice! Ruin all your ancient graves! B-U-R-N, red cargo!

Let's ignite rice till it glows! She's so still. Yeah, so still. Rice is burnt in here. Are you singeing rice? Because I am. Are you going to burn rice with me? OK, it's hot.

I'll get a wok. Holy shit. Not that bad. That ain't even my favorite rice song. Oh yeah, that was good. He really worked on that. That was a Hid Gum Original.