The Headgum Podcast - 218: Goggins

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

Amir, Casey, and Anya join Geoff to discuss Amir's new soccer podcast, celebrity net worths, and all things Goggins!Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Van Pelt. Find what peaks your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up Previously on the head gum podcast. Okay, do you want to fix it? Yeah, go to settings? Okay, this is the most film is not three times. No settings on the computer on the computer settings It's at the bottom go to audio baby. Be be it's not muted. Is the output muted? It's not so no explanation. This is awful

Moving on circling back To and I'm I didn't mean to be rude Rochelle, but let's get back into the question which is diving into your past Let's see what you know it's Halloween tomorrow not when this episode comes out, but let's check in on those skeletons in the closet What's the worst thing you've ever done? Yeah, it sounds like you read it and then and then didn't respond which no I think is ignoring ignoring is reading it and not responding. She didn't even give the text the time of day So she did got the text she did not read it and not responding. She didn't even give the text the time of day. So she got the text, she did not read it, and that was that.

Okay, she read my name and then stopped. So is that ignoring or is that? Mm, yes. Okay. Record for sure. For sure. We have the zoom, but record for sure. For sure. Roll it. We have the zoom but record for sure. For sure. I hear music faintly in the distance. Did you not hear that?

It's only coming out of your headphones that we can sort of hear. What's that? Welcome back to another edition of the Headgum podcast. New mic alert. Oh, new mic alert. Hublot or the big face. Sure, I have five of those. What's cool is that everyone in like the comments who says that we don't pay you enough or whatever can eat their words, because look at you with your.

This isn't mine. Yeah, he's borrowing that i'm using it my girlfriend borrowed it from her friend that friend doesn't need it anymore they said so now we have the mic for free it isn't mine it is hers she has the xlr interface it is shurs that's good can we like all agree to like level up the level of, you know, intellect when it comes to the jokes instead of just... Level up the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level of the level Not even know that it is a shirt. So saying sure means nothing to half the audience. But that's what, that was the first, that was the level that you said. You said it by saying it first.

What do you mean? It wasn't on the record. I have something to say. It wasn't while we started the show. Okay. Someone in my life recently said, you're doing a lot more pun based jokes, what's going on? And I realized it was from spending too much time

with you people. Too much time or saw a lot of joy. Too much rosemary. Or. Yeah. They were like, what's happening? And I was like, my humor is getting worse. Have you ever had all spice while wearing all saints?

I thought you were gonna say all the spice. Nobody. I thought it was. It say all this life. Nobody, nobody. It's obviously hard because I have the jeans, I have the denim biker patches on the knees and I have the padded shoulder on the fucking day

to boot. That's all saints. That's all saints. We're just talking about the movie Bike Ride. No, I'm not doing anything. Yeah, we love Bike Riders. Have you seen it? Amir is, Amir just walked away on a phone call. He's experiencing podcasting history, by the way, because when things happen, that's history. Not much.

That's his story. A lot. Not much, a lot. Frankly, a lot you're doing. You're on a show. Yeah. Not muting his Zoom is the worst part of this. At least don't link us here.

Let's just get the shit out of the way while he's off the phone. My Bond of the Week is Barack Hussein Obama, or rather, Obanda, because I read an article that he, you know, he's strategic. He picks and chooses when to show up. Right? He was at the DNC last night. It feels like a good time to come out of hibernation. And I wonder if he becomes a new James

to 007 nation. Or is he just an Obama nation? I think he just an Obama nation? I think he's an Obama nation because, I mean, definitely drone strike stuff, but also- But Bond would do that. Bond would do the drone. I don't think Bond would do the drone strike. You don't think Bond would build the cages

that everyone got mad at Trump for putting kids in But Amir don't you think that it was lame when he killed the NBA strike? Obama killed the NBA strike Let's just power through because then you guys are gonna start and get into this back and forth because on your work She's on a lot of forums and it's basically like trying to know more about basketball so she can talk to you about it in The office, but I'm just trying to relate to you about it in the office, but she reads these conspiracy theories. Let's save it for Labor Day. I wouldn't even mind that. But what about 007 coming out on Labor?

Labor. I really fear that Barbara Broccoli won't make the right choice in terms of 00, because I actually wonder if it should be Hussain Yeah, I guess Obamda really right my bond of the week. Yep. Oh No, Anya, you can yeah, please my bond of the week is this comment or that I saw on An Instagram post yesterday. It was a music post and he, I think he's from a different country and he commented.

Obama? No, this comment. So I saw this Instagram comment and I think Obama's from a different country and basically. Well Obama was born in Kenya and I really think that Tom Hardy could be. That's the conspiracy theory I'm on board with.

No, whatever, this commenter commented on this song on Instagram and said, this would make a great James Bong movie theme. James Bong. Yeah. And I thought that was funny. That is funny. So you're choosing Cheech Martin. I would have gone Jason Muse. What about...

I think if he's going to be Bond, he's got to Mew a little bit more. Jason Muse, Jay from Jay and Silent Bob. I know. But what about... Mmm. What about I think if he's gonna be Bond, he's got a new a little bit more He's J J from James I'm a Bob I know but what about if Jason Muse muses enough to get the jawline to be James then I'll give him bond The fact that you even know that Jeff is telling on yourself. What do you mean about mewing and the fact that you know it on you? Yeah, you know And the fact that you know it on you yeah, you know I'm a woman in the world Of course, they're telling me that I need to Mew neither to get a better jawline But the fact that Jeff also was getting fed the same Instagram reels that tell him to Mew to get a better jawline is

humiliating Mew Soldier bond up in that view. Jason and yeah. Soldier Boy as Bond is good. Kasey. Soldier Bond. That's not that's not Bond. Amir.

Oh my fuck. I was going to say Soldier Boy. I was going to say that you're going to say that. Yeah. Yeah. Have we got like a professional poker player? I think we could. I just wonder if it goes from Casino Royale to like.

Yeah. Like Phil Hell from casino Royale to like Yeah, yeah, I'll help you Royale I don't even mind Phil Hellmuth for bond because it could be double oh muth and he could think he said Cheech Martin earlier And it's Cheech Baron is it? It's like the county Right now that's Marin, but it is spelled the same way like mark It's ma rA-R-I-N. M-I-R-O-N. M-A-N.

Yeah. It's... Just appreciate the poem, buddy. Remember when he tweeted that at you? That was funny. Yeah, we got into two... Was it just enjoy the song, pal? Well, there was two times.

Once was in 2017 and he was like, going live tomorrow at 9 a.m. and I responded, why? And he said, oh, not you. And then that night I saw him out in Highland Park and we kind of locked eyes in this weird way. There's no way he knew. I think he knew. I think he knew. There's no way he put those two, Mew and Mew together.

And then what was the second time? Casey and I have a great relationship with Mark Maron, so we would appreciate you not tarnishing that. What's the great relationship at arms distance? He thinks we're awesome and cool. What does that mean though? From a guest appearance on what show? David Cross? You can't just say oh we're about you know You have to explain because you never brought him up until now. You never talk about his ass I've never seen his fucking name pop up when I'm potty.

I talk about everyone we know. I look over your guys' shoulders a lot at work to see who's texting you and it's never been Mark. It would be crazy for you to know the kinds of relationships that Casey and I have that have nothing to do with you. I do know that Casey sings, and I don't, this is a real doc, sorry.

Casey sings karaoke at the Fable. And I know that because I looked at the Fable's Instagram account and I saw Casey's ass on there like nine times. Stop telling people where I like to socialize. Casey and I run into each other all the time. I wouldn't worry about it. I really wouldn't worry about it. It's in Eagle Rock.

I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think people are going to, you know, it's kind of the boondocks over there. Casey and I once sang a karaoke song together. Yeah.. Yeah, really at the table. No in Nashville. Nashville. Ah, what's on? Jackson Jackson by Johnny and June Carter cash Jeff wasn't there My bond of the week

What's that? Josh Hartnett as the butcher, as James Bond. That's a. They're not going to give you the space to talk about that in a real way because this show isn't about that. But Josh Hartnett as James

Bond is a cool career move as the butcher from Trap as I said, trap is trash, but. I was about to give you guys a bunch of space to basically talk about why Josh Harden and as a butcher, as long as good. But because Anya was like, oh, they're not going, you know, now you don't get the space. And you have I think a mirror to thank for that. The reverse psychology almost worked, but ultimately will still be denied.

Yeah. How are you guys feeling? Seriously, in a real way? Fine. Fine. Awesome. Amir, what else? almost worked but ultimately will still be denied. How are you guys feeling? Fine. Fine, awesome, Amir, what else? I'm a little fried. I just came off of a podcast recording of my own. So to do this on the second night of a... Did you know that that's actually a red tail hawk, not an eagle?

Eagles don't sound like that. Either way, it's the word of the goddamn day. I learned that in Alaska. Good. I'm going to Alaska. Don't eagles don't really sound majestic like that, right? Right. No, they they sound like kind of lame and weird. Yeah. Good. Yeah. OK. Isn't that what you said?

You're feeling good? I think I said awesome. Oh, well now I guess I got it then, cause I said good. Yeah, you've been getting them a lot recently. Cause I always know what they are, so I can always say the word and then get it. Like the other day I think it was like Mason or something, and I was like, I thought somebody said Mason,

and I think they said agenda or something. And so, but then because I was like, did you just say Mason and I think they said agenda or something. And so, but then because I was like, did you just say Mason? I get the fucking word of the day. So part of the problem is that, I mean, Anya and I were texting about this the other day, but my tinnitus has reached an all time high. Pitch!

And I can't hear what people are saying, whether they're enunciating or not. So you could say, like Casey, say any word. Habitat. Agenda. Okay. Casey, do you like the song Good by Better Than Ezra? I would have to know how it goes. It was good living with you.

That's actually is what it goes like. I was going to say. It's not ringing. Damn, you look so good. I'll look it up later. We've got two of Headgum's main producers on the horn, so I don't want to let this opportunity slip past us without checking in about your guys' woes.

How is the LA studio? I know I haven't been there in a while. I've been trying to avoid it for fear of having to make small talk with that guy who's renting a desk. But how are things? Marty's friend. He's a nice guy. David.

I think it is. He's a great guy. AJ. AJ, I was going to say. AJ, yeah. Really? I don't care for him. We should get AJ on the show.

I know enough people. That would be a good idea. That's funny. Maybe he could zoom in from his desk and he could talk about how he rented it. It would be interesting to know what he thinks of you. We've never spoken, but that's kind of how I want to keep it. I also really haven't talked to him all that,

but we do the white guy like kind of. Oh, I know everything about him, his family, his kids. We're really close. He's like a really sweet person because I like make and build relationships with everyone around me. The white guy thing that Casey was talking about, I do half of that. Which half? Yeah, my mom's side.

Amir, do you want to plug Coysboys? Yeah, so we're doing a Premier League sort of limited podcast situation on our Patreon. Jake's really into the Tottenham Hotspur. I'm sort of giving it a run and seeing how it goes. Ultimately, I haven't made a decision yet as to which club I will be supporting, but I'm having a good time watching these games anyway, sort of piggybacking off the Olympics and World Cup drag. I'm like, okay time watching these games anyway, sort of piggybacking off the Olympics and World Cup drag. I'm like, okay, I can get into this.

I understand soccer enough to enjoy these matches. Yeah. And when you say, sorry, your dad's really... Into, he's kind of a lifelong diehard Chelsea fan. I'll take it under consideration. It's hard to know which team to root for. They're all sort of nice and evil in their own specific ways. I don't have any relationship to any specific area of London, so why did he root for Chelsea?

It's not because they had a Russian owner for a long time. It's not that, but it is because on your zoom gets cut out. I think they had a lot of their cut. No one likes them. Like they're not a very cool team. I think they had a lot of money. So they were able to get some of the best players and he's like, they play the best soccer because they had a lot of money for Romanov or something who's that billionaire Russian billionaire Abram Abramowicz yeah yeah Roman Abramowicz or something yeah he sits on the there's like a whole like Russian forum where he talks with all the little buddies about his team when my mom when there's a game on it's not going well my mom has to leave the house whoa and when he used to work at, he used to be the manager, whatever at his job.

And he would make the guy on his team who, cause he would tape the games and he would watch them after. And he would make the other guy who watches soccer stay home or work from home that day because he said that just by looking at him, he could tell what the score was. Wow. So it's a spoiler written on his face. Yeah. This is the most time a woman has been given on the show since its inception.

And I'm talking about, I'm wasting it talking about support. I'm talking about my dad. Should be talking about Obama's, um, fucking over the end. Turn as Bond. Turn as Bond. I thought he meant his bod. Should be talking about Obama's fucking over the turn as I turn Even meant his bod. He looked good playing basketball that one time and he smoked cigarettes, which is cool. He's still matters I'm sure he does and I think Sasha smokes which is cool I'm not so I don't support. I don't smoke but I think it's a cool move. Yeah

But God I don't babe, please. They please you do vape. I don't sort of pulling a drag. No, I wish. And they actually had a camel backpack pack that you kind of Jerry rigged into being one big ass vape. So you'd you know, you'd have the backpack on just going to work and even the walk from your car to the front door of the office. You have to go.

If I vaped, Gianna would think I was a lot cooler, which I would love for that to happen, but I'm not willing to start vaping just for that. That's cool. I mean, you said that Kois Boys is a limited podcast. Do you mean like it's only gonna run for a few weeks or you mean limited in your guys' abilities to host it? This is unbelievable. Come on. It's like a razz. It's like a fucking gaff.

It's a gas. Wait, just saying we're doing it for now. Wait, why is it called Kois Boys? So Kois is the come on you Spurs moniker that the hot Spurs have, C-O-Y-S. And then I thought a fun name for it would be the Kois Boys because it's me and Jake sort of acting as Koi Boys in a way, but also Kois Boys because he's a Spurs fan. I thought that's a different sport. The Spurs are also the San Antonio Spurs from basketball, but the Tottenham Hot Spurs.

All right! Oh, come on. Enough! You plugged your shit. You said you were last. Enough with the fucking cross examination. The fucking, what about this part of it? What about the, and not not listen to the fucking show.

Or don't. I'm not subscribed to their Patreon. Yeah, me, yeah. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You don't, you're not that interested. You're making small talk because you think I don't have anything prepared.

I do, by the way. And not. I look forward, yeah. Yeah, we're all just waiting for you to start. Really? Yeah. Are you still a Mets fan, speaking of short-term fandom? How's that going for you? Short-term memory loss yeah, are you still a Mets fan speaking of short-term fandom? How's our memory loss he forgot he was a Mets fan because he

Means the thing about I mean on just here our Mets Is that we've never not rooted for those guys we love those guys born and bred Mets fan We love those guys. Born and bred Mets fan. Oh, yeah. Let's fucking go. I was born to be a Mets fan and then chose to be a Red Sox fan. And now I live in Los Angeles and I am, of course, a Dodgers fan. I was born a Mets fan. You root for three teams that all sort of hate each other.

Well, you see, I come from a baseball family and the more teams that I watch, the more baseball I watch. But you don't watch the games. You watch people's tutorials on Microsoft Teams. What? It's OK to lean in to the joy. It's OK to like, just be open to the idea that the episode might be kind of fun.

Yeah, don't close yourself off from that possibility, Casey. This could start being fun at any moment. Toys Boys is a new segment or a new like series on your Patreon, right? Yeah. A lot of people know that I edit your guys' content for that shit. So if your shit goes under, the majority of my fucking income goes under. So I thought that we could all kind of come up with some new ideas for Jake and Amir's Patreon. New segments, new v- Sorry. I'm trying to help your ass. The least you can do is not-

But what if Casey and Anya have uh- Don't got a good one. Financially incentivized to pitch their best and brightest ideas. Is it just for you? Is it for you, me, and think it's free getting a cut for them It's a human. It's kind of like a make-a-wish thing because I mean after the concussion thing. I never really got one And so anyway your wish is that this patreon takes off my wish is kind of everybody's command. Yeah Command alt delete we should say

wishes my command alt delete. So Jake and Amir Watch, we were just talking about this Amir. You guys probably have like 80 more episodes of that, right? That's like a year and a half. 80 more Jake and Amir's to watch. Yeah.

So I thought that you could continue that, but instead of Jake and Amir watch Jake and Amir, it could be like Jake and Amir watch French and Saunders. Who's that? They're like an old comedy duo from the 70s or 80s. French Stewart and George Saunders? Yeah, that's exactly right.

Wow, I had no idea they knew each other, let alone made content with one another. That's exactly wrong, I meant to say. I don't know their actual names, I just know that it's French and Saunders. And if you don't like that, what about Jake and Amir watch Passion of the Christ? It's only going to be two episodes.

But I wouldn't even mind you guys kind of dissecting. I'd pay for the Patreon to listen to you guys talk about watching The Passion of the Christ. Right? Or not. Even if they like, that's the title, but they don't even talk about the movie. Well, then I would ask for my money back. Alright. Have you seen Passion of the Christ? What All right. Have you seen Passion for Christ? What's that?

Have you seen that movie? I've seen the first one. I haven't seen it, but I've been to church. That's cool. And it gave me all the spoilers for the movie. The movie is better than church. It's a little more entertaining. Satan's...

The book was better. Kind of scary. The good book was better. That's really good. You know, The Good Place? This is the good book. I don't know the good place I am not a Christ

Okay, maybe you just end Jake and Amir watch but what are some other segments for real I think Just as a leaping off point, Amir could be a cam boy slash op. What's op? Cam operator, camera operator. For what? I just... Let's start with the cam boying. Let's see what the reaction is to that.

If that doesn't quite pan out, maybe you just kind of hold the camera. Is it as sexual as it sounds? Yeah, it's like cam girling. Yeah. I see. So I'm talking to lonely people who are looking for digital. It might not be lonely.

All the lonely people. It's not paint them with a broad brush. They might be, that just might be their thing. Okay. But you have to have your shirt off. Yeah, but then like with the more donations, the less garments, let's say. Yeah, it's a poker, but without the poker, the only thing that's

yeah, the only thing he has on is his poker face. I don't even mind that poker face when I'm a poker face. That's good. But the face is the other side of your ass. What if they did a segment called Kois Boys, but they just reviewed different kois and different ponds? Oh, like K-O-I-S boys. Hold up, hold up.

We dem kois. So it's me and Jake reviewing fish ponds all over the place. Whether it's in front of a hotel or a nice restaurant, we're taking a look at things like depth, cloudiness of water, freshness of algae, coral levels. You started TikTok? If you started TikTok with that? This show is sponsored by BetterHelp, right? Now I have a lot of things that I simply can't let slip through to make sure that I'm doing the self care I need to make it through the weeks,

right? I mean, for me, it's taking a nice scalding bath. It's also going on brisk walks every evening as the sun sets over the canyon right but when your schedule is packed with kids activities big work projects and more it's easy to let your priorities slip even when we know what makes us happy it's hard to make time for it but when you feel like you have no time for yourself non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. I'm in therapy every single week and it's one of my self-care staples and I never let it slip.

I always show up for the appointment. I always feel better after having had. So if you're thinking of giving therapy a try, start with BetterHelp, because it's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your needs. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash what's that today to get 10% off your first

month again that's better help h e l p dot com slash what's that thanks better hope and we're back um is is uh classic park yeah no it's like scary trailer sound right and that Yeah. No, that's like scary trailer sound, right? And that. There could be a $1,000 tier for your guys' Patreon where you DJ someone's daughter's wedding. So it's kind of a callback to the original Jake and Amir's and you finally do it. A thousand dollars for a wedding is pretty low.

A thousand dollars a month for a year before you get the DJ. And if you're not planning, I'm sorry, if you're not planning a year out from your wedding, good luck. Um, if you don't like that, they're well, actually, you know, then it can be part of a package. So if they do another year at a thousand dollar a month, so at this point, you're up 24 grand total. Uh, there could be a thing where you VJ someone's daughter's divorce proceedings. So kind of full circle in a way.

50% of marriages end in divorce. Exactly right. So you have a lot of percent chance of getting a mirror to visual J. And I'm still shirtless. That's just when you're cam boying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, you're not going to like this idea, but you guys haven't considered selling your underwear, right? Your panties? I have not, no. But Jake has? No. No. Okay.

Oh, you're just asking. Because that could be a pretty high two. Yeah. I mean, if you're asking all of us, yeah, I all of this, this is just a conversation that he's having with a mirror. But if he wants my input, yeah, I have considered it. I didn't ask on you. I did not ask on you. I just want it's been recorded. I only asked.

Yeah, of course. Of course, we've all considered it. Um, you just don't know where to send them for $15. What about this? I mean, you, you might not like this one. For $1500 a month. I don't like any of the ones you've said so far. You don't like the VJing and divorce proceeding? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Correct. I don't like the VJing and divorce proceeding. What's your this one? That's worse than that. You know, that by hemorrhaged subscribers, continue bleeding out. I would love to watch that if you continue to be as this closed off as you are, right? I'm trying to help your ass I'm trying to get it really yeah

All right, this would be a tear at $1,500 a month where Jake gets $1,500 a month in a mere dozen Yeah, that doesn't really move the needle for me also people give money to patreon's they expect Something more than just the host taking the cash. But for them it would be the joy of knowing that their cash is going to Jake and specifically not to you. People would pay for that. I don't know if you know your own audience or if you're on the dog walk you. That's true. I do think people would like to give Jake money knowing that none of it goes to a winner. What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that?

I hate that. That's the worst one. Okay. This is Walton or Dave. You could do multiple at the same time. I thought one would stop. It's so funny. I have multiple tabs. Jeff was like, I have lots of segments and one of them was just playing that song while playing as many sound effects as possible.

Cause like we weren't laughing and then he got it, you know, it worked. It worked. It really worked. Welcome to Walton or David, Goggins edition. This is the classic quote game from the show. I'm gonna list out a couple quotes by Goggins and you have to say whether it's attributable to David. Who's David Goggins?

Oh, God, do you read? Can you read? Read what? Something by David Goggins, I guess. David Goggins easy. My. David Goggins easy. My buddy's sub stack almost. It's only, it's not live yet, but it might be someday. Can I give a quick note?

Could have done Walton, Goggins or Walmart Family. Oh, that's good or Bill Walton. Okay, that would have to be Walton. It would have to be Goggins or Bill Walton edition. That's another segment. This is Walton or David Goggins I'm a huge Walton Goggins guy He's like a fitness influencer he was in the Marines and he's one of those guys that's like Never don't push yourself because if you stop pushing yourself, you'll die. And he used to be 300 pounds

and he doesn't let anyone forget it. Because now he's like- And now he's 375. Well, now he's like shredded, but he's that level of lean where it doesn't, it starts to look bad in the opposite direction. You know what I mean? I'm gonna let you.

Or it's like, I've actually gained a couple pounds since the head injury because of the post-concussive syndrome of it all. It's hard. I've actually gained a couple pounds since the head injury because of the post concussive syndrome of it all. It's hard. I've never seen this man in my life. Really? How was the sphere?

The sphere, I wanted to talk to Erica about Vegas today. She didn't show. I can't talk about the sphere. Cause what do you know about Vegas? A lot. Tons. Really? We all love...

I'm going there. You're talking about the rebuild that love Vegas. I know that now. You're telling me now for the first time. Let's just power through the Goggins edition segment, and then we'll talk about the Sphere. Then we'll talk about Vegas, the open container of it all, the open carry when I was there.

And by the way, I'm such a carry. Nobody cares about the Goggins thing. It'll be eight quotes that mean nothing. It's actually nine and a half. Jeff, why don't you go around and say who we would all be if you're the carry? Well, you're Samantha because of what you just did. I want to say Casey's Marie and Amir is Salton.

Amir and Anya. I've never seen an episode of Sex and the City, but I'm pretty sure there's no Marie on the show. Marie would be a good choice. It's Samantha, Carrie and what is it, Lilac? Miranda. Cloenda? Amirno.

Miranda, Samantha, Carrie and... And Carrie. Charlotte. Jake is trying to buy this specific watch sometime soon. So I've been sending him listings. I'm like, oh, like this is a good reputable dealer. This is a good price. It's in good condition, whatever.

And so I sent one to him this morning and he was like, damn, I love it, but I need the dial to be blue. And I said, of course. And he said, is that too much to ask? And I said, you're asking for cake that you also wanna eat. And he said, I wanna have my cake and have it.

I really enjoy what I do. And I'm very grateful to be given an opportunity to do it. That's one thing people can say about me. Is that David or Walton in terms of Goggins? LAUGHS Gotta be Walton. I guess it's Walton in terms of Goggins? Gotta be Walton. I thought it was funny how Jake said it. He was like, I want to have my cake and have it. Yeah, maybe have it.

If Jake was here, maybe he'd be able to. If Jake was here, he'd be mortified at what just happened. Here's another quote. Wait, did you say, did you guys say who that first quote was? I said Walton. It didn't matter because we don't know who these people are. Okay. That's not the right button.

Here we go. Correct, Casey! That was Walton Goggins. Here we go. But probably my favorite music, believe it or not, is sad music. Is that David or Walton? What?

You haven't waned in your enthusiasm of this show. I Damon way-end in my enthusiasm for this Joe. Walton, yeah. No way she's gone for that that was the correct that was Walton here we go fear is my ultimate guide Walton David correct. That was David Goggins. Contrary to the mantra of me slash the show, what's the difference sometimes?

He doesn't conquer fear. He lets it guide his glands. I think I'm much too earnest to be as cool as Boyd Crowder. Is that David or Walton Goggins? Where the fuck did Ken of Sky go? Anya wanted zero to do with this.

That's really good. Walton? Correct. Anya wanted zero to do it. That's really good. Walton. Correct. I think Boyd Crowder is a character he played. When you tell a recruiter that you're almost 300 pounds and you want to be a sailor, it doesn't go too well. David. Yeah, that's true. I swam underwater for 50 meters at a time and walked the length of the pool underwater with a brick in each hand, all on a single breath.

David. That's correct. I rather like antiques. I like things that are old and the history they bring with them. I would rather fly to Morocco on an $800 ticket and buy a chair for $300, then spend $1100 on one at Pottery Barn. Let me finish the quote. It is Walton, but let me get these out. How does he get it back on the plane?

The guy who kills 38 people is not the guy you want over at Thanksgiving. Walton. That's correct. It is Walton. Here we go. A warrior is not a person that is David. David Walton, a warrior is not a person that carries a gun. The biggest war you ever go through is right between your own ears. David.

That's correct. That is David Goggins. And that was... What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? I nailed that. What the fuck are you talking about? That was David or Walton Goggins edition. All right. Welcome to whose net worth is nine dollars? Million.

Oh, so this is kind of a Closest to nine without going over or we're trying to hit a bullseye here. This is price is right rules We are going this is only according to celebrity net worth calm so, you know Disclosure, this is only for entertainment purposes. $50,000? Kind or Lewis? Yeah. Look at this. Wow. Compare.

What does it say? Oh! Couldn't hear it. Couldn't hear it. Can't hear it. People can hear it though. $200? Oh no, 200,000.

Yeah, it's incredible. Wow. Good for you, Amir. Congratulations. No way. It's true. But yeah, good for you. I think if Jake came on the show more, he might up his net worth.

I think he's doing just fine. And I thank you not to worry about Jake's finances because I'm actually his watch advisor. I'm not. And Amir doesn't have one of those. That's true. I don't his watch advisor. I'm not. And Amir doesn't have one of those. That's true. Yeah, I don't really wear watches. I'm not at all worried about Jake's. That's probably why I have $200,000 more.

All right, here we go. Well, no, watches would factor into the net worth, right? Really. Really. Last-minute item. How did you get into watches? Me? Hodinkee.

They had this segment called Talking Watches. Also, I was a pretty anal child and was a great, I don't know, I had a packed schedule in high school, so I was like, I'd like to have a watch on. And then the passion grew from there. The passion grew. That sell watches? You see those?

Oh yeah, they go from Kiosk to Kiosk. Yeah, they're in the Diamond District. Those people are crazy. It's just like five guys selling watches to each other. Well, one of them is Jeff Buckley's son. And Jeff Buckley is this really interesting watch dealer in the Diamond District, who partially the guy from Uncut Gems, Adam Sandler's character, is based off of.

And he's so kind of ubiquitous in the vintage watch game that there's a specific dial variant on Rolex Datejusts that's called the Buckley dial. Wow. I thought you meant Jeff Buckley dial. Wow. I thought you meant Jeff Buckley the singer. And I thought it was crazy. I think he did mean Jeff Buckley the singer.

That's also what I thought. It is John Buckley. It is John Buckley and I misspoke, I did. I appreciate you correcting me because that's the only way someone can learn and grow. But also, why don't you cut Jeff an old break, right? Here we go. Jeff.

Whose net worth is nine? Let's... Not mine. You just want us to throw names out there or are you gonna give us options? How's this work? No, yeah, it's like, it's kind of- Susan Sarandon.

She's got more than nine. I'd say she's more than nine. Yeah. I was gonna say. You didn't say nine what? 60 million. It'd be nine billion. 60 million?

60 million. Jennifer, Jennifer love you it. It's only what? 60 million. 60 million? 60 million. Jennifer, love you. It's only nine? Nine million. I see what we're doing. 22 million. We got to go way lower. Renee Rapp.

Who's that? She hasn't had time to accumulate. I'm so old. 22 million yet. But... She's not on there. Interesting. OK, so I'm going to go by guestcollab.co.uk.

It's the only one that has it. Net worth? Nine! Wow. Now it's four million. I'm closer in the over under rules. You're the only one who hasn't busted. So this is finish out round one, I guess.

Let me guess. I'm going to go Nat Wolf. Why not, right? Okay, three million. He was in the Naked Brothers band, So this is this is finish out round one. I guess let me guess I'm gonna go Nat Wolf Why not right? Okay, three million He was in the naked brothers band and now he's like an actor. I think he's on Riverdale, but I don't remember Alright round two none of us got it. Let's say Anya was the closest in that one But I want to see if we can actually get to fucking nine This is like that game that you guys play who's 58. That's quite the kind of inspiration Yeah, this is actually the first time I've had fun

on a Headgun segment in a while. Right. So let's get going. I'm trying to create some space on this shit. Okay, okay, okay. So don't say, oh, usually it sucks and this is good as an exception. Matthew Fox.

Good job. Matthew Fox. Matthew Fox. I was gonna say Matthew Fox, yeah. Almost. This is a really good one. Four million. Four?

Wow. Yeah. He's got to invest wisely. Four million. Four. Wow. He's got to invest wisely. It's got to be someone like it's someone in between Rene Rapp's age and Jennifer Love Hewitt's. Like, it's got to be someone in the early 20. Jennifer, Evangeline Lilly. Oh, Evangeline. But she's got TV money. That's also did Matthew Fox.

But I'm going to guess she invested the money a little bit better. Five million. Oh, a little bit better five million Oh a little bit better tiny bit better In video week earlier I'm gonna go mod app a towel Well, is that counting her parents money yeah, it's not so five two million Hmm that feels all this feels wrong, right? You started it Not the game. Yes Okay

Greta Gerwig Greta Gerwig fun fact she's got Barbie money fun fact, that train white noise was shot in Sugar and Falls in my hometown and my buddy Harry Greta Gerwig and Noah Bombeck stayed with my buddy Harry's parents. Dude, that is so fun. You're right. Oh my god! That was... Wow! 12 million. For Norway.

Jennifer Lawrence. It's gonna be... She's a movie star. Jennifer Lawrence is at Barbie and she's only at 12 million. Well she directs... Directing the first one. Jennifer Lawrence is on it. 160 million dollars on you. That's 160. She's in all of the Hunger Games movies on you.

As long as we're just fucking guessing the world's most successful people. I don't know what we're doing. 500 million. That's not what we're doing. All right, what about this? Jennifer Lawrence. You lose a turn.

You absolutely lose a turn for that. You're off by 100 million. You've reached a turn for that. You're off by a hundred million. You've reached your limit on talking. Shut the fuck up. I was going to say. I'm not going to bully on you. Mario Lopez. You know, what's that guy's name?

Geraldo Rivera. Yeah. Geraldo. What did you say? Geraldo Lopez. That one. He lives in Cleveland now. Mario Lopez, 35 million. say? Geraldo? Mario Lopez. That one. He lives in Cleveland now. Mario Lopez, 35 million.

We gotta stop guessing TV stars. Mario Lopez, 35 million. I'm gonna go Dominic Fike. No way. Two, this says two million. Yeah, no way. This feels based on nothing. All right.

What about Zendaya? Guys, whose net worth is nine? It's not a hard question. Come on. What do you mean? Zendaya's gonna be whose net worth is nine? It's not a hard question. What do you mean? Zendaya is going to be over a hundred million. Yeah. Already?

Well, twenty two million, but still. I guess she did Spider-Man. I'm going to go O'Teal Burbridge from Dead and Company. I guess she did do Spider-Man. 5.2. Both two movies. Yeah, I guess she did do that. Okay, but I don't understand.

Greta Garling directed Barbie. Yeah, but those are just the two biggest movies in the world. She directed it. The director doesn't make as much money as the actors. And it wasn't gonna be the biggest hit in the world. I thought she was producing. That they're gonna pay her that much cash. Dylan, wow. Now she'll get a lot of cash.

He's got Nickelodeon money, but that probably went to his parents. This says, well, it used to be eight million, now it's five million. That's the closest one, I will say. Dylan, what about Cole? Cole's gonna be more. Oh, Cole has nine, but Dylan was close.

No, Cole has eight. Oh! Right? Breckenmeyer. That might be the... Breckenmeyer. My manager represents Breckenmire. Should I text him?

We can get a more accurate thing. Four million. Feels low. So we need someone. I mean, we got Cole at eight. Let's just fucking call it, right? This game sucks. No, you want one that you have at nine.

We want to hit the dime just right. We need someone who's his age. 30. He's not 30, I think he's younger than that. I'm pretty sure he's 30. Nathan Fielder. He's 32. Ooh.

Nathan Fielder used to be my girlfriend's old neighbor. What are you doing here, Jeff? More typey and less sort of editorialized. You have like an anecdote for every person. I just kind of know where they live is all because I like to know what neighborhoods are thus for each. Yeah. How hard is it to not know where Nathan Fielder lives? I couldn't deal with myself. I saw him at Musso and Franks. Is that a good story? If I had to guess. I love Musso and Franks.

Somewhere like Los Feliz maybe. Silver Lake, but yeah. Yeah. Kind of near the office. I love my son Frank's somewhere like Los Feliz, maybe Silver Lake. But yeah, yeah. Kind of near the office. Eric Andre. Eric Andre lives in Echo Park by my old. You still have to look up Nathan Fielder. I did. He stopped. What was it? It was a number for four. Eric Andre, also for that feels like the magic number four is the best number.

That is your cash. What about. Powering through? I forget how you pronounce her name. Renee Zellweger. No, no, she has TV money. It can't. Oh, you know fucking Stanley Tucci. He also has 25 million.

Yeah. What about Gabri Sidibe? I don't even want to try to know how to spell that. I'm not going to do it. G-A-B-O-U-R. Josh Hutcherson, 20 mil. Good on him. This is good.

What about Viola Davis? How about professional baseball player Kike Hernandez? Ooh. How much does Kike make in a year? Or does he just spend his whole time Kikeing? I mean, Honey has frozen. 3 million. That's it. Damn.

I feel like he's gotten more cash. This is tough. Pique Suban. Pique Suban? 8.5 million? No, that was a contract he had. Fuck! What's his net worth? Five dollars. No, that was a contract he had

What's this net worth five dollars five dollar foot long Well, I'm seeing double two on you Yeah, I can't tell I know that his historical earnings was 78 million, so I doubt that his net worth is... Okay, okay. Ari Aster. Sag Astra. That's good. Ad Astra. Ad Astra. Ad Asner. What about Luka Guadagnino?

Now we're just free associating. Ben Savage. I can't find it for Ari Aster. What about Luka're just re-associating? Al I can't find it Ferrari Aster. What about Luca Guadagnino? And you have to you have to account for uh all their houses Yeah, it's not even coming up. It's not even coming up ben savage And what about Fred sucks Fred was the star of the wonder years.

You created the wonder years. Ben Savage is not 8 million. He was the star of Boy Meets World. 8? 8! Let's just say the 8s are fine. We got Cole Sprouse, we got Ben Savage. What about, from Clarissa Explains, Melissa Joan Hart? Ooh.

13 million. This is tough, right? There's not a lot of celebrities whose net worth is 9. 13 million. This is tough, right? There's not a lot of celebrities whose net worth is nine. Yeah. Um, Kiernan Shipka. Pretty good. Dating John Mayer reportedly $4 million.

Kenan Thompson. No, he's got to be way more than that. How about the guy who played cousin Greg on Succession? Way more than that. Played what? Way more than that. Cousin Greg. No, I think he'd be at 4 million.

I didn't fucking say Jennifer Lawrence. Yeah, you did. I didn't say Jennifer. Anya said Jennifer and you gave her a lot of guff. What about Greg Oden? Nicholas Braun. Greg Oden is 14. I didn't say Jennifer. Anya said Jennifer and you gave her a lot of goth. What about Greg Oden? Nicholas Braun. Greg Oden is 14. Cocoa goth has got to be way more than that,

but I'll Google it just so you know. What about Mia Goth? She lives in Pasadena, I think. Nicholas Braun's a great guess. I don't think he's had enough time to accumulate. Because he was a kid actor too. Two million dollars for Mia Goth. Here we go. Nicholas Braun.

Two million? She's broke as fuck. Four million for for Mia Goth. Here we go. Nicholas Braun. She's broke as fuck. Four million for Braun. She's making all her bills. How is she buying groceries? What about Freddie Highmore? AKA the good doctor. What about the Hime Sisters?

Eight million for Freddie Highmore. How about David Cross? David Cross net worth ten million. So fucking close. Let's average those eights and tens. What about Griffin Gluck? If we cancel the show, maybe it goes down to the top. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. net worth 10 million. So fucking close. Let's average those eights and tens. What about Griffin Gluck? If we cut, if we cancel the show, maybe it goes down to nine. Yeah, he does like a million dollars a year. What about hosier?

There's no way. That really got him here. Amen. Six million. Oh, but upside down. Should we just accept that? Did you guys talk about me when my screen froze and I was making a goofy face? Yeah. We called you a slur for Russians.

Which is? This is, yeah, I hate when we have to do this, but just going to quickly get out of this one. Just one more break is good. Well, you already said it. And we are back. Ron Livingston is not a bad guess. Russell Crowe. Wait.

Crowe is a lot. Yeah. Oh no, he wrote a book. Livingston is six, nobody's worth nine. What about Nick Offerman, but he wrote a book. Nick Offerman, I fear that he's gonna be lumped in with fucking, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Livingston is six, nobody's worth nine. What about Nick Offerman, but he wrote a book. Nick Offerman, I fear that he's gonna be lumped in with fucking, what's her name? Megan Mullally. I also think you think books are way more lucrative

than they are. Russell Crowe, ooh, he wrote a book. No, not Russell Crowe, Nick Offerman wrote a book. You make a lot of money with those. Austin Butler. What did you say about Nick Offerman? Four million. Nick Offerman was like 20 something.

Kiki Palmer. Show me Palmer. 7.5. Tiffany Haddish. She's going to be more, but I'll do it because she's hosted stuff. Tiffany Haddish, oh, no, six million. So sorry about that. She's going to be more.

Way too much. Like, how about no editorializing for my guesses? I am circling in and I'm getting very warm. You're circling the drain outside of the game. So Casey Affleck. Casey Affleck. I don't think so. I think he's going to be one more.

For one Casey to an Affleck. So Casey 25 million this is insane It's not that insane Scott Khan That's a really good guess. He lives in a while. Who's the other one? No, but his dad he's got 16 million and he has dad's money. Yeah, what about um, what's his name from Severance? fucking Adam Scott one time? Fucking Adam Scott. One time I saw Adam Scott at a car wash and he looked fucking devastated. He looked awful, eight million.

That's close. Yeah, we've gotten a lot of eight million, right? Freddie Highmore, right? I don't know who he is. Adam Scott. He's the good doctor. What about the Himes sisters? Okay. All three of them together? All three together will be over nine.

Alana Heim is four, and I don't know the other's names. I would guess Alana would be the highest because she's in movies also. She would be the heimest. We're talking about the number of her network. Joshua Jackson, AKA Pacy from Dawson's Creek Josh show me Jackson eight million what about Dominic West these eight millions they probably just fucking go from six to eight to ten they just like don't even

think about yeah that's a good guess here we go show me Scott Stiffler 25 there's no way he has 25. He's done nothing Recently except for that one show Look guys, I think we've reached the end of the fucking rope, right? It's 51 minutes and people don't have one I have another guess. All right, if this is it that'd be so fucking cool And even if it was three, I would be so fucking cool. And even if it isn't, she's reactive. What about Jesse McCartney? Just say nine.

Jeff, just say nine. Nine million dollars! Everybody! Nine million dollars! That was a Hidgum Original.