The Headgum Podcast - 22: Halloween Spooktacular

Episode Date: October 30, 2020

In this special Halloween episode, Amir, Marika, Faris, and Geoff discuss their favorite Halloween costumes, animal cruelty, and Beavis and Butthead. Then they play a spooky round of Squeal o...r No Squeal!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmWe have new merch in the Headgum store! Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. Oh, man, Trey, look up at the sky. It's a full moon on the Sabbath. Amir's already left 55 seconds in. I was looking late on my Haftorah when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I opened it up and to my surprise there was a werewolf standing there with glowing gold. Monomers. Tomorrow, my son, you will be a man.
Starting point is 00:00:53 But tonight's the time to join the wolfing clan. Tomorrow you will stand at the beamer and pray. But tonight, let's gaze at the moon and bay. Werewolf bar mitzvah. Spooky, scary. Boys becoming men. Men becoming wolves. That's incredibly offensive, actually.
Starting point is 00:01:14 To make fun of a really sacrosanct tradition of yore. The bar mitzvah. A coming of age story. As old as Judaism itself. Yeah. Just put this on us. Yeah. Because you guys are sort of dancing around.
Starting point is 00:01:28 We didn't make it. You found it funny, I guess. It's a classic. Classic 30 rock song. Oh, okay. I think it's the best joke in television history. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Wow. Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, spooky, scary, boys becoming men, men becoming wolves. That's the smartest joke. Yeah. Wow. Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky, scary, boys becoming men, men becoming wolves. That's the smartest joke. Yeah. Greatest joke in television history, similar to the TV show, greatest event in television history. Which is? I'm not at all.
Starting point is 00:01:55 It's a comedy show where people just remake TV shows and great events in television history. This is unbelievable. and great events in television history. This is unbelievable. Welcome to the HeadGum Podcast Halloween Spooktacular, Bluenfeld. You love Halloween, man. Not really. What?
Starting point is 00:02:14 What? Not really. But you're dressed up. I'm not. You're dressed as a sad sack. I'm just sort of in like a, it's like overcast today, some sort of drowsy about it. Right. I was just, I was telling Mar of in like a, it's like overcast today. Some sort of drowsy about it. Right.
Starting point is 00:02:26 I was just, I was telling Marika as well before. Well, I have to, I have to wait a little bit because we have five minutes of intros to do before I do the, uh, the next segment in a way. Oh,
Starting point is 00:02:34 Oh, right. Cause we're waiting for the special guest. No. Well, yeah, I'd be better if Ferris is here for the, that segment,
Starting point is 00:02:40 but I'm going to start it no matter what. Um, what are you guys serving to kids this year? Glass pretzels serving to kids. for the trick-or-treating i think it's canceled this year it should be for what reason obviously the main reason the big one the one that you can't do anything we haven't had we haven't had anything oh look there is he did the monshi mash the monshi mash it was a graveyard monsh uh all right ferris and now i don't have to say it three times in a row um it's been a really hard week for your old you for your boy for your old jeff it's been emotionally draining it's been
Starting point is 00:03:21 visually straining um what's going on manonic dry eye issues with my frigging eyes. Okay. They get dry because I obviously stare at screens much like you guys do as well for our jobs. But on top of that, wearing contacts dries them out. And then also I can't produce enough tears like a normal human should. Right? So I have bloodshot eyes almost every day all the time. People think I'm on drugs.
Starting point is 00:03:43 I don't really do drugs. So it's just kind of not fair. Is that what your appointment today was for? The appointment was therapy in a way. For the eyes. My biggest issue is dry eyes. So I have it pretty rough. How about emotionally?
Starting point is 00:03:59 How's that going? Emotionally, I'm on cloud nine. Okay. Wow. Really good to hear. No, I'm really bummed it's it's been a hard week uh so this brings us to our first segment oh my god why is dropbox opening mercury retrograde man i'll fucking telling you here we go is it cheer up jeff
Starting point is 00:04:18 he's sad this shit um so we're gonna spend the next five minutes and I'm in a really bad mood I'm smiling and I'm trying to be happy for the show but like I would love it if you guys could just fucking cheer me up Halloween style that was the audio of Mario dying I think and then you said sad as shit quietly afterwards
Starting point is 00:04:39 like it was part of the song but it's not it's the dying sound and then the game over sound. So you're also out of lives. It's completely over. And you got to start from world one. This is a good start. I'm starting to feel a little better.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Why? What's that? I was saying don't. How you are when you're sad, you should be all. Time plays everywhere. frowning what pisses me off is when you're joyed yeah yeah if we had blumenfels druthers i would just i would never smile you didn't see you shouldn't have to yeah you're uh you're a poison how do you figure you also like you that looked you made you were happy when he said that,
Starting point is 00:05:25 which is just confusing for what we're trying to do. It's hard to get me down. Like, I don't, nothing could happen where I would be in a bad mood. Yeah. See, Jeff, though, this was the antagonism I was talking about last episode. Now we have the tag team of Marika and Amir here.
Starting point is 00:05:42 The ultimate straight man combo. Just shooting you down. We did get a tweet. I think you guys saw it. The tweet said, never do another episode without Amir and or Marika on the show.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Wow. I think they were kidding, but. I don't think so. So the audience almost takes our side of every argument. Almost always. Sorry. This segment is about
Starting point is 00:06:03 cheering me up. And what you just said made it sound like I'm a bad host. Jeff, I can actually offer something that I think will help. And it's, guess what? It's pretty Mario related. That sound effect made me think about this. And I'm serious, Jeff.
Starting point is 00:06:16 I have an extra Super Nintendo, like the original Super Nintendo system. And I may even have an extra copy of that Super Mario Brothers All-Stars that comes with like the first six Mario games ever made. Amir, no texting. Wow. Actually, Amir just texted me saying save it. What? I want the...
Starting point is 00:06:38 No fucking way. I was about to accept with open arms and an open heart. I wanted to do a video where I sort of take a dump inside of a Super Nintendo and put it on TikTok. That would be perfect for this. And would you put it on TikTok? Well, I don't know. Depends on how it turns out and if it lines up with a song that I like. Shorty's a little baddie.
Starting point is 00:06:56 You shouldn't do a Super Nintendo. Jeff, I saw on one of your recent TikToks that someone described it as you rapping in Times New Roman, which made me laugh very hard. How does a bastard orphan come from Haiti then? Almost become president, but then he had an extramarital affair. That's right. I'm talking Andrew Scott Hamilton. That was his name. And we all saw the rap musical because we have Disney Plus Ferris Banshee loves the holiday Halloween
Starting point is 00:07:30 oh my god loves the holiday Halloween just say Halloween you're already halfway there it would have fit the rhyme scheme if you had said Halloween. You fucked it up. You tripped over your own foot there. I feel neglected in my everyday life in a way.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Because, yeah, I go upstairs and my roommates don't want anything to do with me. And family obviously sent me abroad. And even my broad, my dame, she left me for a better reign uh the guy had a really long lion hair uh speaking of lion uh what are you guys gonna be for halloween what are we what i said um that my my girlfriend left me for a uh a lion no what was the question oh i said um sorry he like he's a fitness model so like he gets paid to work out. What did you ask of us? Oh, yeah. It was just a question, and it's hard to say the question because I'm starting to think about his body compared to mine, and then the fact that he's richer than me.
Starting point is 00:08:35 He gets paid to work out. He gets paid to work out. How fun is that? Because it's easy to be jacked if you get paid to do it, right? Not really. It's all to put in the work. Well, it's hard because obviously like you're making money. So you want to spend it on like good food and like travel and stuff.
Starting point is 00:08:49 So obviously you want to try the local cuisine when you go abroad. Right. This is me. Yeah. What were you asking us? Oh, I was, it was a question that was like, it was Halloween related. He, yeah, he, he runs. Jeff, I'll just, I'll just hop in here.
Starting point is 00:09:04 I do think you should stop doom scrolling on Instagram, though, and stop looking at your ex's new... Yeah, that's not good. It's hard because he gets brand deals, and I sort of feel like I could have had brand deals if I looked like that. You had a brand deal. For fucking bath bombs. Yeah, how did that come about?
Starting point is 00:09:24 I don't know. They DM'd me i don't i don't really know why or how they found my profile but it's also like really easy to be a brand ambassador for them like if you're just a brand ambassador because they're bath bombs you absolute fucker yeah we got it it's easy all you have to do is have a couple thousand followers like any of us could do it you just have to like dm them and be like hey i want to be a brand ambassador so you dm them no they dm me i'm which is like special in a way but i'm just saying that like i'm sure that they would have given it to everybody i don't know ferris probably doesn't have 10 000 instagram followers i't. Thanks for the reminder. He's been paying for bath bombs like
Starting point is 00:10:08 a fool. What are you guys going to be for Halloween? Are you guys going to dress up this year? Of course not. Dress up this year and what? Stay at home? I don't know. Like a costume darty, like staying at home. Yeah. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I feel like it could be an act of defiance. Defiance. You know what I mean? Just like, you know what? Fuck you virus. I'm still going to dress up this special holiday Halloween and it just, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Maybe I'll be Luigi. I'm like halfway there. That's pretty good. Ferris, can you say something kind of intense? Like just anything Halloween related and intense sure that's not what I thought that sound effect was going to be I thought it was going to be it says werewolf how
Starting point is 00:10:59 and that wasn't what we just heard yeah that was like a dog getting hit by a car that was the audio dog getting hit by a car. That was the audio of my most recent video on my camera roll. And you're exactly right. Yeah, so you videoed that. People always say that life is about experience, right?
Starting point is 00:11:18 It's about life experience. And it can be positive or negative. I throw basset hounds in front of semi trucks. Life is about experience. It's about life experience. So you threw a dog in front of a car. Let's bring it in. Let's just kind of... I mean, after your summer, I'm not surprised
Starting point is 00:11:35 because he did get bitten by a Basset Hound, if we'll all remember. Why? Sorry, another dog. That one was in front of a um yeah i think i could tell play it again yeah i guess the kind of vehicle it was is this a segment yeah that's a german shepherd and i want to say a volvo s70 close it was an s60 wow yeah because the way. Because the way the dog sort of hits the chassis. It's very specific.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Do you think auto mechanics who are working on chassis ever have pork chassu while in chastity? Just because you're having a bad day doesn't mean you have to bring the rest of us down. That's right. Now we chastise you.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Nice. So you guys aren't going to dress up this year? I feel like it's the only way to keep myself sane. I'm feeling a little sad about it. Sorry, Marika. No, I agree. I mean, I also, I often have a difficult time trying to think of a Halloween costume.
Starting point is 00:12:43 And so now I feel like I have my, I'm free of that. I don't necessarily have to. Do you guys think you're going to get trick-or-treaters? I never do. Okay. Yeah. I really think in LA, trick-or-treating is forbidden. I get why it is, but I just, it is a distance thing.
Starting point is 00:13:00 You know, you're outside, there's good airflow. Yeah, when a family of four with kids walk up to your door and like knock the door and yell trick or treat at you, that's a distance thing. In my neighborhood, they sing it. Yeah. Door to door. So, like some sort of virus angel of death going from like house to house. And then if one person has it, it just spreads to every single person in the community. I get that. But hey, at least you get candy corn. I couldn't swing for the candy corn this year, actually.
Starting point is 00:13:28 It's one of the cheapest candies. I'm giving out Kikkoman soy sauce packets. Jesus Christ. That I got from my Katsuya. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, if you had an extra hour in your day, a lot of people would spend that very differently than the one sitting next to them. Maybe person A would go for a run, person B would take a nap, and patient zero would read a book. The point is, a lot of us spend our time and our lives wishing we had more hours in the day.
Starting point is 00:14:20 And the question is, what is that time for? And if time was unlimited, how would you use it? The best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and make it a priority thus. Therapy can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it. I'm in therapy every week and I benefit from it personally as I pursue to better myself and be a better version of myself today than I was yesterday. Yesterday, you said tomorrow, so just therapy. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist
Starting point is 00:15:13 and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash whatsthat today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash whatsthat. Thanks, BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash whatsthat today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash whatsthat. Thanks, BetterHelp. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple.
Starting point is 00:15:50 I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe and their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands. I like to drink it first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water. I'll have my AG1 and then I'll have my coffee
Starting point is 00:16:16 and it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2
Starting point is 00:16:41 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. Well, okay, let's talk about the best Halloween costume you've worn in history, like your personal history. What's the costume you're most proud of? I think I asked this on one before, but not to you guys. i mean my i'm most proud of my costume last year because i went viral on the old twitter for it uh which was a succession costume emails lauded by the cast of succession lauded by uh ryan reynolds wait what i didn't know that part
Starting point is 00:17:19 damn just he subtly i noticed that he liked a tweet of it. Marika never told me about Reynolds. That part. I didn't know that part. Yeah, that was that was big for me. Yeah, I'm trying to see if I can find it. When we were like 15 and 14, my cousin and I did a Beavis and Butthead. Oh, that's good.
Starting point is 00:17:40 I was I was Butthead. He was Beavis. We had to bleach his hair. I think we pulled it off really well. I'm trying to find the picture. I'll have to share it with you guys because i really look like an idiot and that's i mean that's like the butthead thing right you gotta like you gotta sort of like yeah it's just no one can see what i'm doing but it's it's your it's your top teeth forward let's hear your butthead let's hear your butthead say in your best butthead say trick or treat trick or
Starting point is 00:18:09 treat pretty good so I like bummed or something better than I could do yeah so what fine let me try it let me take a crack at it gorge trick or treat beavis that's goofy that's really man gorsh it's not it's not the your impression wasn't goofy it was literally the dog oh okay yeah let me do it again then
Starting point is 00:18:38 so it's i'll do butthead falling off a cliff beavis I'll do butthead falling off a cliff. Beavis. What's the goat Halloween candy, Amir? I'm a fan of Kit Kat and all of its variations. I got a picture of my best Halloween costume. I found it in my closet recently. Oh, Rubik's Cube. That's right.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Oh, nice. Wait, sorry. Let's see the photo again. So you're dressed in a square as a Rubik's Cube, and then Jake is just dressed like he's going out on a normal night. Was this Halloween? Was this actually Halloween? Jake is a cat.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Jake basically dressed up as a cat for nine years in a row because he just didn't want to put too much effort into it. And the costume became like cat having nine lives. So he would just buy like cat ears and draw whiskers on and wear like a black turtleneck and that was his costume for nine years but my favorite was my rubik's cube one did you build that yourself yeah it was a paper box that i used tape and like construction paper to make what uh like when was the last time you guys all celebrated halloween for real i guess this is just for amir because you're like almost over the hill um yeah maybe 10 10 years ago or something when i was 27 i'm not over the hill i'm 37 yeah i was 12 what's
Starting point is 00:20:00 that oh nothing i was just saying i was 12 when that was happening yeah uh yeah 10 years ago is when i celebrated it last hooray yeah when did you what how old are you 27 28 yeah 22 about to be 23 okay um wow that's uh why am i here what about ferris uh and marika do you guys celebrate halloween religiously are you guys 37 like is anybody here my age i'm starting to feel like creepy old dude in a way i'm 34 amir and as we age we'll just be like pretty much the same are you actually 34 what i mean i thought you were like 28 that That's exactly right. Yeah. I was going to say 34, finally a reason to stay.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Stick around. A fellow mid-30s man who I call my own. A fellow Othello player. Have you guys played Othello? Othello, the game where you turn the checkers either black or white. In a way, in a way. It's the only thing. That's the only rule about it. Yeah, I played Othello.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Welcome to Squeal or No Squeal. You don't need to yell over it. In my headphones, it's very loud, so I don't know what you guys are hearing. In all of ours, it is. It was bad, yeah. All right. We are going to play Squeal or No Squeal.
Starting point is 00:21:22 This is the only Halloween version of Deal or No Deal. Who would like to be our main contestant? I'll do it. Marika. Hell yeah. The birthday girl. So you guys, you'll be the contestant.
Starting point is 00:21:35 I'll be Howie Mandela or otherwise. Have you guys heard of the Mandela effect by the way? Yeah. It's where, yeah. Go on. No, I want it.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Well, it's kind of like the mandela effect it's uh you know unusual phenomenon when a large group of people remember something different than how it actually occurred so the mandela effect would be a large group of people like swaths of people a gaggle of tweens think they have hair but they're bald as shit um marika there are 20 cases on the board uh you can see our lovely gentleman holding them in scantily clad uniforms amir and ferris um pick a number between 1 and 20 that'll be your case and if you don't i'll get on your case 17 17 oh okay and i don't know what's in these because obviously they're
Starting point is 00:22:16 closed cases and we work with uh price waterhouse cooper so uh you know the rules of deal or no deal right sorry squeal or no squeal can't change it and expect me to know the rule suddenly one by one you eliminate cases right and we see what's in the case and then you kind of like it either gets better or worse because you know you see what you have and whether that's better or worse the deal uh or the goal of this show instead of getting a lot of money in a deal you want to be as scared as possible squeal right so all these things in these cases are going to be scary things and you want to walk away with the scariest one okay all right check case uh two two i hope or ferris opens it it says your mom's new boyfriend all rich pretty scary like am i supposed to describe? I guess so.
Starting point is 00:23:05 I mean, sure. So that's like that one is where we'd all kind of go like, oh, like she could have had that if she had picked two. Next case. And Amir and Ferris, feel free to chime in. What? Feel free to chime in to this game you're inventing on the fly. I don't even think you can chime in. I don't know what to say. I guess Marika's the contestant, but we can all
Starting point is 00:23:29 pick numbers cases. Give commentary, like, oh, that's scary. Like, you're the crowd. You're the peanut gallery. The walnut gallery. But at the end of the day, you're the one that's deciding how scary these are. Like, what you say goes. I don't think so. They're objectively frightening. Alright, let's keep going uh 15 15 you decide to give blood but your nurse is a vampire so
Starting point is 00:23:54 sorry can you say that word one more time yeah your nurse is a vampire so it's like they have fangs and you're worried that they're gonna kind of draw blood with their teeth and then like you they can tell that you're scared and they go for it uh with the needle because they're medical professionals and then it's kind of this awkward situation where it's like oh you think just because i'm a vampire i'm gonna suck your blood through my teeth like no i can separate work from home i don't think i would i i wouldn't do that personally next case i don't understand yeah okay not that scary really yeah i was shaking in my fucking boots when i was writing these out so i don't know feels bad so america next case next case 13 13 orange oreos
Starting point is 00:24:37 are money to you so it's and what do you want me to chime in with exactly so marika's job is to say how scary that is and then i used to chime in i don? So Marika's job is to say how scary that is. And then I used to chime in. I don't even think it's my job. We all have to kind of come to that consensus. That's kind of spooky. Because orange Oreos are like obviously a cookie sandwich. And you think it's money to me.
Starting point is 00:24:57 The fact that I'm using cookies as currency is like scary to other people though. Not to me. It's scary to you because somehow you think this is cash and it's obviously not but you're like in some fucked up way you can pay for your gum but i'm but i'm aware that the fact that i think it is bad like i'm exactly like you're worried like what happened to me that's that makes no sense so you're getting your shoes shined as you constantly do and uh you know the guy like finishes up and then you instead of tossing him a golden doubloon you toss him an orange oreo hand next case and i'm like oh shit absolutely
Starting point is 00:25:37 next case like okay let's go rapid fire here because this is going really poorly rapid fire here because this is going really poorly. Rapid fire what? Case by case, on a case by case basis. Three. Three. Sneaking through air ducts and getting stuck forever. Forever. Yeah, that's pretty scary. Forever. Yes. So just until
Starting point is 00:26:00 you die like the next week. Or like a nice stranger starts feeding you food and drink through the uh the thing like we're gonna get you out of here and then they're not actively trying to help because they like enjoy you as a pet they were infertile so like for them it's good to have like a child in a way so that's a horror movie um seven seven every time you lawfully check out at a store, the buzzer still goes off and you go to mall jail. Ten. Ten. This one's
Starting point is 00:26:29 for Ferris. Frankensteined audio. It's the way of the world, frankly. What is Frankensteined audio? Are you fucking kidding me? What is that? This is unbelievable. I said that this episode was half-baked before we started recording. This was
Starting point is 00:26:45 the only thing I put time and effort towards. I mean, it's clear because you're just reading jokes that you wrote out loud that I'm selecting by number. That's what the segment is. Yeah, but you're playing for $100, Marika. Yeah, how do you like
Starting point is 00:27:02 that? How are these ranked? We're not keeping track. If you end up with the scariest one, I'll give you $1,000. All right. Okay, $100. I kind of misspoke there because I don't have $1,000. Yeah. Next case.
Starting point is 00:27:17 19. Really? All right. 19 is Mercury retrograde. I mean, sure. Yeah. As an editor, especially, it's scary because obviously technological
Starting point is 00:27:27 stuff is affected. In a way. Fuck. 20. Really? I don't think you're going to want to choose 20, but fine. Scorpio season. What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:27:44 What? What does that mean, Scorpio season it's what does that mean what what does that mean scorpio season you know sometimes you really like out yourself as someone who doesn't know a lot on the show yeah all right teaching up you want me to teach you yeah it's go for it it's funny that you ask because uh it's a season obviously yeah and Yeah. And it happens. When? What's that? When? When does it happen?
Starting point is 00:28:14 Well, I mean, I'm glad that you asked because it's like, you know, it's coming up soon or not. Exactly. Which one is it? I'm going to go wild guess. Maybe not soon. Your wild guess is maybe not soon for Scorpio season. Things are just kind of a little wacky around that time. That's why people say Scorpio season. It started today.
Starting point is 00:28:29 I know. No, and that's because it started today, which means that it's a year from happening again. No. Next case. Next one. Right. Yeah. Obviously, 11.
Starting point is 00:28:41 11. All liquids are goo to you. You're on a roll marika the one you have is pretty bad so this is gonna be yeah next so water as a gel ferris why don't you choose one 14 witches make fun of you so you're bullied by a magician why do you know why um you don't get to know why and it might just be some weird witch thing you know where it's like obviously like this is a pretty normal sweatshirt but to them it might look silly is it about things that you're self-conscious about because that changes it next case how do we know which ones we haven't said before it's hard to keep track on the board
Starting point is 00:29:18 our one five one four five six seven eight nine twelve sixteen and eighteen we have that many left yeah that's why I said rapid fire twelve twelve Biden's tax cuts I don't want him taking my money next sixteen sixteen water parks with no adult supervision careful next sounds great keep reading eighteen sleeping in past your bedtime on an
Starting point is 00:29:40 important day nice yeah nice nice yeah six six piss poor tailoring in a halloween style this isn't a fucking restaurant don't talk about shit like it's food piss poor tailoring in a halloween's style to start nothing. And then we can add more later. To what? The order. Next case.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Turbulence on an airplane in a white wine sauce. Creepy crawlers all up in a creme brulee. Next case. All up in a what? Creme brulee. Keep up.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Only. No, it was your birthday yesterday, but, you know, we're all hungover. So it's kind of like we might as well just move on. Four. Four. Never being able to leave Sleepy Hollow. Great. Five.
Starting point is 00:30:35 Five is only being able to drink ghoul juice. Nothing else. Eight. Eight is you have a skeleton, but you're obviously like we all do, but you're more aware of it. And it kind of scares the shit out of you. Every day. On a plate. Nine.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Nine are pumpkins being the only gourds you can eat. Oh, wait, shit. I'm playing the game wrong. All right. Your options are nine and 17. Do you want to stick with the original case or do you want to go with nine? Yeah, I'm going to stick with the original case. Let's start from the top.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Okay. Pick a case. Let's start from the top. Okay. Pick a case. Mom's new boyfriend. Wait, sorry. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Keep this all in. Amir, you're asking about Frankensteining audio?
Starting point is 00:31:21 That's what I'm going to have to do to this recording. Marika wins. Squeal or no squeal i'm gonna with her case hack it that was number 17 and that's unsalted fries i can't stop the song we cannot hear you i truly cannot stop it it was was a soundboard, so I clicked a button. Can't hear you. I clicked a button, and there's no stop sign on it because it's a soundboard. So I pressed the button to play the song, and then it just kept going, and I couldn't stop it. Marika wins the game because her case that she had was that fries that aren't salted. And that's the worst.
Starting point is 00:32:00 That's the scariest thing of all because you're at a carnival. You're at a carnival with papas fr at a carnival. With papas fritas. And there's no sodium on them. Got it. Money, please? I also lied about being able to afford the $100. I'll still send it to you, but I'm going to get that overdraft fee. Which is hard for me.
Starting point is 00:32:16 Don't bother. Oh. This was, I think, our best episode yet. In a way. Amir's head is in his hand. No joke, I loved that segment. Really? Squealer No Skill was an instant classic.
Starting point is 00:32:40 It was iconic. I think it was up there with Serial, episode one, season one. Or the Rice game. The Price is Rice is rice yeah that one was also pretty good there's also um that one so Spice Girls um great alright our last segment is going to be
Starting point is 00:32:58 punching up the monster mash uh this is a fun little shameless plug for one of our shows punch up the jam we're going to punch up the jam we're gonna punch up the monster mash and make it the monchi mash so great yes didn't we already do that we're gonna do it even more just replacing the word you're a musician you gotta i'm gonna okay i'm gonna wait and see how this pans out yeah i was working in the lab late one night when my eyes beheld an eerie sight. All right.
Starting point is 00:33:27 So, Ferris, let's change it to you. So, this guy's like obviously a mad scientist. But you, you're like, you're in the lab, you're in the studio. You're cooking up those like crazy songs, those beats. Yes. I was working in the lab late one night when my eyes beheld. You're writing this right now? Huh?
Starting point is 00:33:48 You're writing the new song right now? We're punching it up. Yeah, usually it's been pre-punched up, and this is the debut of the song. You want to start from scratch, work on a song right now. Minute 37 of a podcast. We've somehow combined two really good bits from two of our podcasters, Weiger's Monsterfuck song
Starting point is 00:34:08 and Punch Up The Jam, our podcast and it's somehow worse what we're doing. I just want to make sure listeners know that Punch Up The Jam is a good show. Exactly, it's like this. What we're doing, it's good. This happens offline. And they're actual musicians
Starting point is 00:34:24 with talent here i'm gonna just freestyle it i have an instrumental version here and we'll freestyle the monster no that i think that's that i think that's a good idea i was work shit i was working on my ass late one night when my eyes beheld a really good sight, for my ass had it a better curve to that slat ass, and then to me, to my surprise, he did the ass. He had that big fat ass, that big fat ass. It was a graveyard ass, he had that ass.
Starting point is 00:35:01 It caught on with an ass. He did that ass. He did the monshi ass. Why, from my laboratory in the castle east. I had a big fat ass. The ghouls all came from their humble abodes to get a sight of my mound. He did that ass. He had that fat ass. That massive ass. It was a graveyard ass. He did that ass he had that fat ass that massive ass it was a graveyard ass he did that ass it caught on with my ass he did that ass it was mon she's ass that's the part i don't get
Starting point is 00:35:36 yeah okay what's that that's the part i don't get it was mon she's ass yeah i thought it was your ass i was singing it from your perspective also I'm your left for sure right at the beginning so he didn't even hear the um he did that ass part yeah he definitely yeah he left before that and with a good reason I think okay I get that now we're talking I never even met my own dad He called me once and I missed the call I called him right back and he didn't pick up I missed my one chance and it brought
Starting point is 00:36:26 me to tears. Got a therapist. She bullies me. Alright and then here Ferris you can do Thriller because you famously love Michael Jackson. Oh my god. Now I'm a
Starting point is 00:36:43 Michael Jackson fan too on top of every canonically on this show I've become a piece of shit but you edit it and you could have stopped it hmm as Mike would say I did it for the vine all right hang on let me bring up these lyrics. Close to midnight And Jeff was trying to figure out what to do
Starting point is 00:37:25 for the show. I actually don't remember the melody to this song but here it goes. You try to scream. I think I'm way ahead of the song. Who gives a fuck? You start to freeze and Jeff
Starting point is 00:37:41 figured out 20 lines of funny situations and that's the show. Sorry. Yeah, you're not hired American Idol, I can't I can't go into the office. You're going to Bollywood. See like that was worth cutting That was fucking shit and you put me on the spot I really did also I think like when we talk, your audio goes down. So we can't hear the song. No. No.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Thank you guys so much for tuning in to the Halloween spooktacular episode of the HeadGum Podcast. We shouldn't call it that. Really? I think it's misleading. And can you do this outro as Butthead, please? Oh, yeah, yeah. Gorsh, Mickey Beavis. Thanks for
Starting point is 00:38:30 watching the HeadGone Podcast. Max! We'll catch you next week. Follow Ferris Maxxie on Instagram and Max Rika Brownlee. Gorsh, Max. I didn't know I put you out so much.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Do the laugh. Beavis. That's the butt head laugh, not the goofy laugh. We'll catch you guys again next week. Follow Ferris Munchie on all social media platforms. It's just at Ferris Munchie, right? Yeah. And your music under your name, Ferris Munchie on all social media platforms it's just at Ferris Munchie right yeah and your music under your name Ferris Munchie yeah and then
Starting point is 00:39:08 Marika at Marika Elon and then obviously me at I'm Jeffrey James and at Don't Play No James on Twitter this has been fucking awful
Starting point is 00:39:21 the worst pause. From my laboratory in the castle east... That was a Hiddem original.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.