The Headgum Podcast - 221: Acting Advice (w/ Zach Dunn!)

Episode Date: September 13, 2024

Zach Dunn (What We Do In The Shadows, English Teacher) joins Johnny and Allie to discuss the Emmys, beating shazam, and give Geoff some acting advice!Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a head gum original. Previously on the head gum podcast. Yeah, just part of it. Sorry, not. Yeah, just let me finish. Part of it is like the element of surprise. Part of it is like you guys not knowing what's going to happen. I misspoke earlier and everyone laughed at me. And then you said something stupid. You said, could you not pick apart everything I say? So which one is it? Do we laugh at people that make mistakes

or do we not pick apart whatever they say? Or is it more of a double standard? I think there's like a perfect middle ground where we're like letting shit happen as it's supposed to organically and we're also like comedically for comic effect being like, oh shit, Will said something crazy, you know what I mean? But there's a difference between that and tearing someone apart, like lighting them a blaze at the stake.

Yeah, you also made fun of my house. It's just that if you're not gonna do the value add. Just like a little amount of vocal fry that we all can have, but not overdoing it in a way where someone would write a mean comment about it. So we're all gonna have vocal fry. No, we're not, that's the thing. I'm not going to. Okay, okay. Also- Kind of a cold open in a way where someone would write a mean comment about it. So we're all gonna have vocal fry. No, we're not, that's the thing.

I'm not going to. Okay, okay. Also- Kind of a cold open in a way. Yeah, yeah, a natural, are we recording? I didn't even know we started, yeah. I like when podcasts do that, yeah. Pretty interesting.

Yeah. Pretty interesting lineup, sorry. It's one of those podcasts suddenly where it's like the host talks uninterrupted for like an hour, an hour and a half. And then it's like, I introduce you and then you talk. Yes. Yeah.

Do you want me to introduce you straight up top so you can talk? Whenever. Yeah. It's fine. I'm happy to be here either way. That vocal fry you're hearing is Zach Dunn. Nice to see you. You got Johnny Bill on the sax seemingly out of the hospital fine. Yeah, perfectly fine. That vocal fry you're hearing is that done? No. Nice. You got Johnny Bill on the sax, seemingly out of the hospital fine.

Yeah, perfectly fine. Way too happy by the way. I watched a couple Tony Robbins videos and I'm back to normal. Yeah, you were saying that you Wim Hof breath worked your way out of the Johnny. Right. But you don't seem calm, you just seem like you're happy but behind a very thin, fragile veneer. I had three monsters before I got here. That's too many My heart is fucking pounding right, but I'm excited to be on the show and Ali Khan bringing up the rear

We have you in a single. Is that fine? Yeah, that's fine I'm ready for my close-up. Mr. Michael Mr. Michael, Mr. Marty the CEO. Okay got it Yeah, yeah, no, that's good. It was a fun twist. Yeah It doesn't sound like Demille I guess same amount of syllables. Ready for my close-up Mr. McCall That's good All right, all right, you know I honestly came in here being like

None of this is gonna be demure like none of this is gonna be demure None of this is gonna be up to par we might not even release this episode But I'm starting to feel some energy from you guys and started why do you feel that way? Just cuz of how the writing advice episodes have gone. The very first one was with Johnny and you Yeah, not with Ali, but zoom and yeah, and that one was a hit The second one a little bit lesser than Yeah. And that one was a hit. The second one, a little bit lesser than that. The third one was a disaster. The third one was a disaster.

When was the third one? That was during the 200th episode? Yeah. Is that what you're talking about? That is the segment I'm referring to. I just was not high on the idea of this lineup. And I don't mean this to be rude. I just have to be honest.

Who put it together? It was ultimately me. It was me and Anya. You know sometimes, you know, Jake gonna be your host a show called segments. I like to think of every time there's a lineup like this, this show is called Dregmans. Because it's the Dregs. Yeah. Yeah. I guess it's good to know how you're feeling up top about us. It's just up top. Yeah, I guess it's good to know how you're feeling up top about us. It's just up top. That's really, I'm glad that you caught that delineation because I'm open to change and I'm open to it going well. Well, it's just interesting, do you like, I feel like you've really gassed me up a lot. That's true.

In the last couple years being like, you're a popular guest on the, I mean I was the first guest on the podcast. Right, first, in the six timers club I think is this. Yeah. Or is it seven? I don't know. But you don't know or you're not happy. But ultimately you're just negging me immediately. That's true, that's true.

More negments almost. It makes me feel higher than thou. Yeah. That way I'm not like floundering. Vocally fried. Fried, flounder. Right, yeah. Sort of your vocal approach.

Um, you don't wanna speak at all more to the fact that last time you were here you're basically on a gurney now you're fine Dressed almost to the nines by the way. Do you want to show me nice boots? Thank you. Thank you. I Had a little bit of retail therapy had a bit of real therapy You think that helped that did help some people do PT, you do RT. Zach, I had to save it for the pod, but how was your day? That's crazy, thank you. That's such a nice question.

The question you should have asked before the show. My day's been good. I mean, pretty chill thus far. This has sort of built my whole day around this, I guess. Had to be fun and nice. I was excited about the lineup and I'm not worried. I'm not worried about it. I just was anxious Synonyms I Wasn't looking forward to this. Yeah, that's all I'm you get that obviously. I'm just saying it's not worry What would be your dream? Like what would like if you could sub us all out for people what would that?

Yeah, oh god. I mean it's gotta be someone political to start okay I wouldn't mind if there's like a John Tester if there's like a border state Democratic person like a walls. I wouldn't mind Gus wall Chaperoned by Glenn which means it doesn't count. It counts as one. Anyone in the same family, one person basically. I wouldn't mind Allie on that episode. She's not the issue and neither is Johnny.

I think I'm doing the math. That's kind of a new character vibe. That's cool. The guy who does the math. Yeah. You gotta wear like a turtleneck for that. Okay. So you could be like, yeee.

No, totally. I could do it with this. This is a great shirt, by the way. Thank you. What does it say? It says, real men play with their flies. And it's my dad's old fly fishing shirt that I stole from him. That's thanks And Johnny you have a WGA shirt. Yeah, because I thought this was gonna be a writing advice

episode as it isn't You I mean the title will presumably could be yeah entirely different way, but similar enough that it's canon Yeah, okay amazing Wow, um Honestly, I maybe I'm fine with just Gus and Allie. I mean, I would listen to that. Me too. Fine. And Oprah.

And Oprah, because then I might get a fucking Jeep. Do you think she just hands Jeeps away? Yeah, she's still doing that. She's richer than ever. Really? The car thing was one time. Yeah, and also- And you define her by one day.

Most of the people had to give the cars back. I just think that she's bringing back the joy! Did you guys watch the DNC that night? I missed that one that night. You said they had to give back the Jeeps? Yeah, it was a lot of people couldn't pay for the insurance. And so they were gifted something that they ultimately couldn't even afford to keep.

It's like those extreme home makeover edition things. Yeah, it's. I can't maintain a pool. Like why'd you give me one? That's like buying someone a dog. My high school, or no, not high school, my middle school science teacher was one of the people who won one of the cars and she was there that day

and she sold it. Oh my God. Yeah. And that was like her thing that she'd say on the first day of sixth grade to make you be like, this class is gonna be awesome. Was she right? Was it an awesome class? It was an awesome class and I knew that it was gonna be,

cause I was like, well, she was on Oprah. Yeah, what a day to be on Oprah. It's kind of like she's a star Yeah, okay You can just let me say it. I mean it just needs to be said once I just I feel like it fosters camaraderie when I'm like what you were gonna say is exactly what I was gonna say It feels like you're leading into like a more contentious vibe between us for this appearance, which I'm excited about. Tension. Right, that's part of contentious in a word. Same root.

Same root. Yeah, the etymology. Etymology, yeah, I was gonna say that. But you were saying, Ali, that your sixth grade, what was it, social studies? Science. Science, which is kind of a social study in a way, because it's the study of how social cells can be with one another Yeah, yeah, that's a week. You couldn't connect that dot

Midwest it's that's the connector between me and Ally Chicago Cleveland. Don't make connections. It was princess You yeah, is that a new hat? Yeah, it's a chaplain. It's a chapel rhone hat. Yeah, I know Is it new new ish I bought. I pre-ordered the bitch. Pardon my French. Before people were wearing them, because nobody had gotten their grubby little hands on them, suddenly every guy who wants to signal he's an ally is wearing this shit. It's really funny to do the thing of like I I was listening to her before the album came out, but about a hat.

About a hat? I hadn't heard her music until she was popular as shit. I'm just saying I bought the hat on pre-order, and then everybody started wearing them, and now I feel like I'm just like everybody. You know, we all have anxiety. Well, what's so wrong about that? Why do you have to be so unique?

What's wrong about that is what's wrong with the hat, which is that every Tom, Dick and Larence has the shit. I'm not going to wear a WGA shirt now. I'm not going to wear your dad's fishing tee. I don't think that's an option. I'm basically wearing the same jeans as Ali and I can't live it down. It's true. Everyone's talking about it. Yeah, I don't think that's on camera I would assume that's fair. I should get a pants cam. I was gonna say a lower body cam

You are talking about your ankles a lot. Yeah. Well, that's why I do wear the boots because you know, it helps hide the thankles Yeah, so you look great. You don't have to say that. No, you do. I showered. That's the difference because it helps hide the thankles. You look great. You don't have to say that. No, you do. I showered, that's the difference. I don't shower every day. I try to conserve water and I don't like showering. How long do you shower?

You're like conserving water. Exactly, right? But it feels like hours. How does everybody feel though, with this start to the show? Because I feel like we've also done the audit episode. That's not what's happening now. That was good How should we do that again? We should like that. Yeah, really? I don't know. I thought it was good. Me too. It was funny You've never heard it

That's a pre-ally era And what an era it's been Where there ever been a best episode ever I think this could be best episode ever one There is a worst episode ever seven coming out What will have been in a week before this episode airs uh-huh, but it was actually kind of good It's just every time Andrew Pyle is on the show. I named the episode Worst Episode. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

You really love that. My first appearance on the show, which was like the fifth or sixth episode of this podcast, was just Jeffrey asking me very dry questions about what we do in the shadows. Of course. Which I just started writing for it. It was the most just like normal chill conversation. How is that not what this is? I get that the writing advice is a lot for you.

No, but the show has just changed so much. Now every segment is about like Gash or something. Yeah, or jeans or Joy or yeah. Yeah, and it's kind of like maybe we go back to that. Some, well, we're not going back. Glen Walls. Yeah. Glen? Glen going back. Gwenn Walls. Yeah.

Glenn? Gwenn, yeah. By Yon, Bonnie, Gwenn. Is she Scottish? Or... I don't think so. I feel like I'm getting a lot from Zach. I'm getting nothing from the flanks.

Is it something I am or something I say? You are, yeah. I don't know. I kind of feel like the way that it's starting, we're kind of pitted against you and we're in this like underdog guest situation where we need to like prevail and like prove that this is a fine lineup and it's okay that we came to the office today to do this.

I think it's a great lineup. I was excited to see you and I was excited to see you. Yeah, I was excited. I don't even mind the camaraderie that's happening on the other side of the desk. I think the lineup could prove me wrong. That's the challenge So you're trying to do like you're trying to set us up. You're trying to prove you're wrong to the way inspire Our psychology say that we're shit. So then we do really well and then you're like see that's all you needed That's all you needed to do was to be kind of coached by me. Yeah, I don't think that's how like comedy works. What about like improv teams have coaches? But they don't say you you're bad you're not funny, prove me wrong. Will Hines told me that. We always

have to do this bullshit segment let's just just power through my bond of the week is Albert Lance Who's that you guys know JD Vance? This is Albert Lance. He's an operatic tenor Sort of a vocalist really and I just like imagine double-oh-seven with the voice of a dove Why would that be? Do dogs sound good? If you don't like that, then imagine Albert Lance with like a license to kill slash drive. Right, but we don't know Albert Lance. He's an operatic tenor.

I know, but that info is new for us. I'm still processing it, which is why I need to take time. When I learn about a new person, it takes me a few minutes to upload that. You have to understand who Lance is to understand what he would be like as Bond. I get it. You guys sometimes talk to me like, I have no idea what's wrong with the show.

I know it's not quite there there. I was looking at X earlier today. Nice. I love that. And thanks. And there were two tweets, X posts about James Bond ideas. And I was like, this is exciting.

She was in Qatar. It wasn't about Barbara. Really? It was about, someone asked Daniel Craig at the premiere, whatever, Festival of Presbyterian Armonies for Queer, if there could ever be a gay James Bond. And Luca Guadagnino was sort of like making fun of the person for asking the question.

And then Jenna Ortega was asked, said something about a female James Bond. She says, I don't want Jamie Bond. So my answer is Jamie. You just want to be Jamie Bond, but it's a male Jamie who is gay. That's really really good I almost would want to end the whole segment not on the episode for good on that we got there I mean that'd be I think that'd be exciting for Johnny I think there's no topping what Zach had just said so So I'll just, I'll stick with Jamie Bond as well.

And is he male and gay? Male and gay, of course, yeah. That's cool. Allie? I kind of had a crazy idea, which was that Stacey London and Clinton Kelly are coming back with a new What Not to Wear show called Wear Whatever the F You Want.

And I was kind of like, we've never seen a Bond duo. Maybe it's... Starsky and Hutch as Bond. But it's two kind of quasi fashion experts, both gay, both giving advice, but they're tentative about it because they don't want to offend you anymore. Yeah. So it's a modern iteration of them.

It's not the sort of mean early 2000s iteration. It's them trying to be modern. You don't always have to just stick you late You just just stick with it as you it's cuz I was thinking about it, you know It's like when you talk about like chewing gum you might start What's going on? What did you introduce yourself as Zach Zach done Oh Word of the day. Okay. Done or the whole name?

Done. Not, it's D-O-N-E though, but phonetically the same. Let's move on. How was everyone's LDW? Anyone do LDW in the Hamptons or? You think we just got, I mean, Tuesday after Labor Day. I was in New York over Memorial Day weekend.

Everyone on Instagram was like, MDW in the Hamptons, and I was like is that a music festival? It's just Memorial Day weekend So I wonder what everyone you know where did you spend your Labor Day weekend? Well, you're Matt you're already you were mad about the Memorial Day thing so now I don't feel safe to share What is it about the energy that I bring that isn't harsh and good? But isn't harsh and good? That isn't harsh? It is good and harsh. It's not those things. You're wondering why the flanks are not really stepping up to the plate. And I think it's because there is a lot of contention on that side of the room.

And I feel like metaphorically, I'm standing behind Zach. Yeah, sort of like a phalanx. I feel that way too. I feel like if they weren't here, I don't know what I'd do, but I know I wouldn't feel good Yeah, I would feel naked almost Your guys's long weekends in the hamptons, I don't know I'm kind of having like a maternal instinct come over where I'm like protect my boy protect my boy Yeah, I feel that I feel that I really appreciate it. I feel like a baby I

I feel that, I feel that, I really appreciate it. And I feel like a baby. I feel like I am two feet tall and just. Toothing. Toothing. Yeah. And terrible toos as well. I think I have gingivitis. Really?

I think I have gingivitis because I was chewing gum on the ride over, my gum started bleeding. Yeah, that sounds bad. Yeah, that's an easy fix. Do you floss? Was it sharp gum? Yeah, just floss.. Yeah, that's an easy fix. Do you floss? Was it sharp gum? It was mint flavored insulation material.

Well, I haven't been to the dentist in a minute. How long we talking? Obviously for a few years. Okay, so go back. It's hard because I don't have one out here and I'm scared of the dead I could recommend you mine. Dr. Rachel fine, or is she fine? Birds eye dentistry in Hollywood. I like my dentist too. Is it doc? It can't be dr. Rachel fine. There's no way it's fine No, and she's yeah. Yeah, but who is it?

This is the dentist plugs Dr. Kezian and Larchmont, okay Yeah, and they made me the first time I went and I got my teeth cleaned They you know, they took pictures and then by the time the cleaning was done the hygienist gave me a little book with a front cover of Teeth on it and I looked at the teeth and I said, are those mine? And they were. So that means that during my cleaning, after they took the picture,

someone rushed to print this out to present me the front cover that was my own. But that's like a good thing. Wow. That almost feels like a neutral thing that just happened. Like it's not, I don't need a book with my teeth on. I thought it was crazy. It is, yeah.

I mean. Is this a pediatric dentistry? No, grown up. Oh, okay. That's crazy that they do that Those books that were like 101 Dalmatians, but it's like Zach's the star and I would get it as a little boy It's that kind of that too. Yeah It's September, right? Last time we recorded it wasn't. What's on everyone's autumnal fuck it list? This is my favorite season of the year.

I know it is. That's why I had to ask and let's start with you. Okay, I love fall movies. I love... Is that a brag? I love fall movies, I love fall layers. I like fall crisp air I'm over it being so hot, but I feel like it stays hot in LA so long Yeah, the fall too long. Are you gonna go apple picking or?

I guess I would if someone asked me, but that's not something I'm gonna seek out. Okay. It's just it could be like a nice date night Yeah Nighttime apple picking? Yeah, you know, no it was turn in night. It could be like a nice date night Yeah nighttime apple pick Increases the degree of difficulty Maybe kind of fun. It's sort of the adult dentistry of apple pick. I really like making a long complicated Do you agree with that's the only thing so far you've been like? Sorry, no, it's okay. I just like making a long broth.

And one of my toxic traits is I always start too late in the night. Making a broth? Yeah, I'll be like, now's a really good time and it's 10.30 and then I'm setting an alarm and waking up to stir and. You're like, asleep for the night, but you're waking up. Yeah, I'm just, just like, what are you gonna do? That's yeah, because some people stir awake in the middle of the night, but you're waking up. Yeah, well it's just like, what are you gonna do?

That's yeah, because some people like stir awake in the middle of the night. But for you that means like, stir awake literally. That's good, I like that one. Yeah. Yeah. So disjointed to be like, oh that's a good joke. I don't wanna fuck up.

No, you got one, good one. Guys, have you ever dealt with enjoy? With enjoy? With enjoy, yeah. Enjoy with it dealt with in joy have you dealt with? enjoy We're supposed to sort of ruminate on what that Yeah I'd say I have in a lot of ways. Yeah, are you saying?

Enjoy or enjoy Enjoy I think for me when I'm enjoying something it doesn't feel like something to deal with you know, okay See that's interesting now. We're talking about something right. I'm almost in I enjoy the enjoyment right you're present within it I try to be yeah, that's my at the very least. I'm neutral. Yeah It's hard. I try to go into things Wanting to have a good time. Yeah, my biggest objective most the time is to just have fun I love that about you I don't really care about winning

But don't you guys think that that's a little rare and that's only something Ali does or do you think most people are present? And they enjoy enjoyment Because I feel like when I'm having a ton of fun. I start to shut down physically and emotionally It becomes too much because because you think it's gonna end or because you just it's overwhelms you Yeah, it's like when you have like such a good meal that you're not even remembering that you're eating, right? Yeah, you bite into it like a fucking ribeye or like you're having a you're having fun and all of a sudden You're like wins it gonna end. I Yeah, that's almost giving me too much credit

But basically what happens to me is I like, you know, it's like too much of a good thing is like even better, right? So when you're like present within enjoy That's almost not that's almost it's like it's the opposite of The coin where one face is enjoy. What's the opposite of that hate? Boredom maybe boredom so let's play with that a little bit. Let's wrap on that I Fear bore so I don't be present in enjoy. Because you fear that if you are in the moment too much the boar will come.

It's not even that. I hadn't even said anything and you started saying no. I'm trying so hard to connect to you. The hardest person on earth to connect with. And you're shutting me down. Because I'm enjoying the conversation too much. I'm shutting down not only the conversation, but myself. But I think you just think about joy and enjoyment too much.

You quantify it too much and you bring it up so much and it's such a big part of your personality that I think it's Overwhelming you instead of you. It's keeping you from being present Do you think that this is kind of like an Ellen DeGeneres sort of thing where it's like kindness kindness kindness kindness? And then you find out that like no no no no no she's not the best Yes, except Ellen was hiding it. Yeah All right, what was the last time you guys felt utter wow? utter wow yeah, I think driving on the LA freeways or

I'm presenting a lot of what I hate it, but I was telling Ali you'll be stuck in Hours long traffic, but you'll just have to you'll just be able to look out into the horizon see the mountains and think wow It'll just be able to look out into the horizon see the mountains and think wow Did you think that I did I did think that I feel like the Shittiness of being in traffic is what made the wow so intense of seeing them Yeah, you can't have any highs without extreme lows. That's what I'm saying. I think I said it better Yeah, things actually much more quickly. That's true. I Yeah, oh I had a wow okay. I saw a Really really really big bunny in one a little tiny

Remote-controlled car and someone was driving the bunny in the car, and I thought I've never seen that before Where was this? It was it was an outside Printing out my teeth. We need to buy some time to print the book. It was just crazy to recognize your own teeth. That's a distraction tactic. You were there for hours. That's why they printed the book. Sorry, sorry.

I forgot a bigger buddy. Is it enough to be happy or must one also be fappy? This one's just for Johnny and Zach Be fappy Yeah, yeah, I think happiness you don't need does not preclude fappiness It's fappiness when you define fappiness is just jacking off in general or like a sort of state of being? It's sort of a state of being where you're being present within and joy and Oh, this is good. This is related to the next question It's also a part of being fappy is aspiring to whimsy, right?

And that leads us into our next question, which is do you aspire to whimsy? I'm already there. You're already whimsical. Yeah, that's awesome These questions are also similar Are you a little bit more tired of whimsy? I'm already there. You're already whimsical. Yeah. That's awesome. These questions are also similar. What do you mean? There's a bunch. I know. That doesn't refute the thing I said. They're not similar, there's just a ton of these.

Has life been feeling good to you lately or just mediocre? If we're talking extremely lately, like the last 30 or so minutes. Yeah like 20-27 mediocre Yeah, that's what I was worried about. Yeah, is that a shared assumption between the three of you? That's all kind of a feeling. I think I'm feeling good being next to my parental figures metaphorical. It's interesting because it feels like a lot like I feel like you guys are my parents and you feel like where you're like There's a lot like I feel like you guys are my parents and you feel like where you're like There's a lot of interesting Happening yeah, yeah, it's really kind of intense and powerful and I feel like Jeffrey's just kind of missing out on that

I feel like I'm witnessing it and almost like Dusting it in a way. Yeah, exactly. He's like a cousin who is just like blocked. I feel like due to male directing the LA Phil It's unbelievable up here Yeah, I feel like a lot of this stuff is happening because of the questions and even if like I'm expecting the LA Phil, it's unbelievable up here. Yeah. I feel like a lot of this stuff is happening because of the questions. And even if I'm isolating me by wowing y'all, that's not a bad day for me. My enemy's enemy is my friend.

Exactly right. You were just on the show last week. Again, wildly injured, inexplicably on a respirator. Now you're fine. You seem to be somehow having a less good time on this episode even though you were in pain with a fractured rib last week I'm I'm still having a good time. I'm letting Letting my new friends and parents Lead the conversation because you're kind of inundating us with a lot of the same questions I'm kind of losing my train of thought.

Right, it's hard to even think clearly. Yeah. Sometimes I do feel very Amelia Bedelia when I'm on here. Amelia Bedelia? Yeah, do you remember her books? She just takes things very, very literally and then does it wrong. And sometimes I'm like,

I don't know if I'm understanding the words right. And then it turns out I wasn't, I'm understanding it wrong. I'm like, enjoy. I'm like enjoy I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Yeah, but I appreciate the willingness to take accountability, right? I feel like that's something that a lot of other people on the show lack, you know, I come up with these Oh, I'm very comfortable saying I think that I'm the problem But the thing is you're not

You're not like I think that's an admirable trait. And I feel the same way in many situations. Just not this situation. Because of, you know, you've been through it enough. This is your sixth time on the show. Yeah. Are you doing like jackets or something? Are you trying to make it like an SNL thing?

They were supposed to get me, I think, a big jacket. Yeah, I wanted to get like a purple master's jacket. But I don't know There was a period where I was the guest who had appeared the most in the podcast think a lot of people have passed me Since then yeah, but those are like people on the network. I feel like I don't know if that's true, okay I hate to even ask but How is business how is pretty whack industries doing you've said nothing about it so far?

We're doing great. No way obviously. We're doing well. You've only floundered so far. I wondered if It even still exists. It's kind of just a well-oiled machine. We're drop shipping on Amazon. I think that's perfectly fine What are you shipping just like anything for that we can get our grubby hands on anything with a big profit margin Yeah, we're making job hand over fist really buying up stuff and then shipping it out to other people We're buying a lot of surgical tubing as well. Is that because you had recent experience with that? Yeah Yeah, we're buying a lot of that. Are you like stealing it from the hospital? Yeah, we're stealing from the hospital selling it back to them It's like we're stealing from the hospital or buying up so much stock that they can't buy it

We have a lot of field operatives who are stealing from yeah, sorry This is crazy you have don't say yeah lawyer should be on this episode and every episode you're on by the way Yeah, I do miss him. We got into a big argument, so can't really What happened anything about it? Yeah, what happened? Or will you update us later? I'll update you guys later. Before we take a break, I thought of a new catchphrase for you.

For me? Okay. So ask me something way too personal. Okay. Do you feel like anyone's ever truly loved you? That's done your business. Got it. So I would say that. Presumably.

That's done your business. But once it catches on, that could be on shirts, that could be what other people are saying. I feel like this conversation is done. That's great. That would have been the time to do the Word of the Day. Yeah. Right. You did it.

You made me say my own name after, it would have been so easy to just have my name be said naturally. Yeah. And we're back. It's been already discussed that usually when Zach comes on, I mean, you know, you need no introduction in terms of your television writing career. It's taken off and basically you've done what was the animated show you did? The Tennyson's? I wrote on a show called Bless the Heart. That was what you're referring to? That was it. Yeah. So Bless the Hearts.

What we do in the shadows? Emmy nominated. The Emmys are next weekend, right? Yeah. To, yeah. When this comes out. Yes. Did you buy a tux or? I did. Black?

I did. Or did you kind of wow them? I went sort of simple. Are you taking your partner or are you taking your mom? I'm taking my partner, but this is interesting Hmm. She is recently decided my mom came down to visit and Bree my girlfriend decided that she's gonna wear my mom's old dress So you're gonna propose. It's sort of like I'm taking my mom away

This is interesting I you don't agree? No I do. I just feel like in the past when I'm from the podcast you want me to like talk about things in my personal life. I'm giving you kind of a big nugget here. Well yeah but you're not in a edipis type situation you know what I mean? Like I don't want to know that. I don't want Freud. I'm saying you can run with that if you want it. I want Franks! I don't want Freud, I want Franks. I want to know how much cash you're getting. What level are you WGA wise? We keep coming back to this. Co-EP you said. Co-EP on English teacher, the new show. Came out today, right? Yeah, sort of. Yes.

Hulu. Wait, I have another thing to say about Brie. So my girlfriend Brie, this is about like a year ago. He knows, I think you know what this story is going to be, maybe? No. Okay. She was driving. Oh, I know.

And she was like, she was getting so mad. And she was like, there's this guy in front of me who keeps making really crazy stops Like stopping short and then pulled a crazy u-turn that like almost caused an accident And she was getting so mad at this person and the person got the card it was Jeff Look I drive the way I am bad Look, I drive the way I am. Bad. We've done a lot of writing advice. I don't want to say that my writing is there yet. It's not. Really? No.

Because he read a really recent sample. Yeah, you have a way to go. How recent? It was like, I wrote it all last week in an effort to impress his ass. Because he was staying with me Yeah, and you didn't like the subject better than a guest to write like a personalized like pilot for It's about an awesome I think it's time we take a break from the writing advice. I'm all I'm you know I Really don't mean to toot my own horn, but I'm kind of a multi-hoof in it right and I'm going for the acting thing as well I'm constantly oddies only did you say that's awesome. I said okay

I thought that we could do some acting exercises as well because you see a bunch of audition tapes I assume when you're in the room. No, I mean I think yeah you like you're right with the writing You've sort of plateaued and I think it's good to maybe Table that yeah, you know mountain that because I plateaued at a really high altitude. Yeah Really? It's like a table Table is like sort of in the grill no I thought you meant teppanyaki style where you take your shoes off and go down and a ryokan style acting wise there it's sort of on an untapped area and I do think you know there's worlds where I could be

like hey maybe Jeffrey would be great for this part yeah because you you're in rooms you're seeing the tape sometimes you're on set you're working working with the pitching joke Al used to be an assistant at a management company You probably saw a bunch of shit a shit ton of self tapes and I mean Johnny you're like a natural-born viewer Sure, I guess that makes me qualified Live on the great wait way we should say the great white way Broadway. Oh, so you know talent. I would say Not really. I don't even live that close So I thought we could do some open scenes Which is for those who don't know it's like acting classes

Well, you'll often do this where it's like the words are basically gibberish, and it's about how you perform the words Yeah, okay. Does that make sense? Yeah, does that feel good? These are real open scenes. I didn't write these it's not like oh like open scenes Then it's like a stupid scene that I wrote this these are real open so you know that they're stupid I do need to act opposite By maybe you can observe and I'll like switch on and off okay You want me to take on a sort of director type role? In a way. Yeah, you could just I don't know

I want your notes on my performance because again like a writer is not that different from a director and vice versa um Johnny do you want to kick this off with me open scene one? All right, who's a and B? I Assume you should cast. Yeah, I haven't you didn't send it to me. Do you want to see? Yeah But just going off vibes, A for Ally. Yeah. B for my buddy. Oh, no, no, no.

So I'm not even gonna do it. Yeah. There's only two. Oh, right. I just got so excited that Jody's my buddy. Yeah, you'll be B. I'll be B. Yeah. Okay.

All right. And if you see anything you can add into the, there's just two characters. Is it okay if we improvise? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I mean, it's gibberish right yeah, not really the real words I got real words, but there's no meaning behind the only thing that is it okay where you so you are giving me permission to improvise Let's do this first one. Let's stay on buck okay, but sometimes in an audition. I'll do like a little button

So maybe I'll do it at the end Okay, yeah, I'm curious what that's gonna. You're supposed to like listen to the directors Yeah, that's true, but sometimes gold happens with okay, and so are we ready to go yeah? You mind if I drop it? No, so Ali's reading at me. Yeah, he's reading. Okay. Oh wait. Sorry. I thought I was in scene two. What's going on? Read scene one. Okay Directing your a great Read scene one. Okay.

Great directing. You're A. Great. All right. You want to get cast, that's your vibe. That's true. But do you remember when Lucas Gage was on Zoom with that director? That's true.

Now look at him. Yeah, he was repped by my- He's in the trailer for Smile 2. But not in the movie. He's only working in trailers. That's cool. All right. Ready?

Mm-hmm. This is the worst. We'll be working in trailers. That's cool. All right, ready? This is the worst. I know. There. Happy. I am now. Yes. Good. Are you done? Okay, now your turn.

Are you done? Okay now your turn Okay, yeah word of the day yeah, you can't do that in an audition What do you mean sorry now you've interrupted the scene? How is it my fault it was the word of the day every time the word of the day is said I have to say It I have to press the button. I just start over Let's let's just take take it from are you done, and let's we don't have to do it Hawk for that if you don't want the haw hawk I think we shouldn't go from that line. I guess I just want to see if you could do it. Okay.

You could do it without doing it. Can you follow the directors? Yeah. This is my first test. We're all artists. I'm going to be doing a series of directors tests for you and this is test one. Alright. And I can't improvise.

You can do a button at the end. All right. Allie? Okay, now your turn. Okay. No, this is the worst. I know. There.

Are you done? Okay. Right, so. It's a different line. I'm gonna call cut. Are you kidding me? I'm calling cut before button. I didn't get to my button. You failed director's test one. You said don't press the button on this next line.

Different line. But you can tell I meant in general. I don't like when you start to get calmer, almost as if you're start to get calmer Almost as if you're trying to get me to calm down. I Just think look this scene you don't feel in it at all It's hard because I have to press the button when she says you don't have you you just saw you pick this Then you decided the word of the day was done

I'm starting to feel like maybe we should have I should've cast this before we started the episode, because I feel like there was a lot of confusion when I was like, oh, is Ali A, is Johnny A? Why is that the problem? Because how am I supposed to get in when I haven't been able to even look them in the eyes until we start the scene? We've done no prep work.

I don't know what my moment before is at all. It's your show. I don't either. Why are you mad at me? Because you're the director, you said. So you think before we read the scene, I should have said of some prep work for you guys? Be like, this is your intention.

OK, why don't we use these words to have... Why don't we move on to scene two? Yeah. Let's move on to scene two. OK, that was not a good start to this. I agree, but I don't think that was my fault. OK. And I would be like this on set. So scene two. OK, I'm going to be casting... Jeff, you're A. Love that.

Johnny, you're A. Love that. Johnny, you're B. Okay. Now, do you have any intentions you want to set for this role? I feel like there could be a return of like spaghetti westerns, right? And I want to be prepared for that. And maybe even use this as like a sample. So maybe we treat this like an old western movie.

Okay. And what do you think, John? Okay, I agree. I think I'm just going to read it as it is and then follow your direction. That sounds better, but yeah, let's try that. Okay. All right, scene two and action. Shoo.

Oh. Oh no. Can you, uh? No, here. Use this. Come on. I told you to be careful. I was. Can you uh? No here use this Come on. I told you to be careful. I was it just happened there. Let me see Where are you going for help? Oh?

Physical comedy And leave me and leave me here you can't leave me here you stay Here I'm off to get help No, please one more time try it again stay here. I'll be right back ah ah That's your button that's my butt your butt was repeating Johnny's Yeah, maybe in the edit they'll like my ah better and it'll just work. Okay. I have a couple thoughts I thought the one thought would be that was perfect. Hmm. Yeah, I mean it was better than seen it seen one for sure Better than seen. Yeah, I took red mean I used props. I

Enjoyed I sorry. What was your prop a gun? I can't am I'm together that's not proud, but I think that ultimately when you said physical comedy out loud like That's a clear example right of show don't tell I know but they're not gonna. We're doing tell rather than show They're not gonna use that in the edit. You're not thinking about the edit. When I'm acting, I'm constantly thinking about the edit. Yeah. I'm thinking about the levels that they're gonna mix it at. I'm thinking of the L cuts they're gonna be doing

to make the whole thing feel natural. I don't have to act if the editor is good as hell. But I just think that is such a horrible mindset to go into a scene with, don't you, being like, I don't have to be good. Right. Is this not your dream? It is, I just, yeah. Is this not your dream?

I thought I was already good. I thought I was already good. I don't want to get better at something. So why are we doing this segment? I thought the premise of the segment was to give you advice. That was the way to set it up so I would appear humble. I just wanted you to say you're good as hell at this. Okay.

Okay, yeah. I mean, ultimately, right, I get this is outside of your comfort zone. It's inside my wheelhouse and comfort zone. Right, but I think getting the kind of feedback that me and some of my friends here are trying to give you Yeah, is outside your comfort zone. I think it's a role I've been in a lot on this podcast right is the audit one writing I'm giving you a lot of feedback and you don't like to take it in but I just keep giving and giving What about your ass?

What? What about your ass? Like nobody ever gives you notes. You're not perfect. What do you- I get it. You're not even taking your mom to the Emmys. I'd take your dress. Should we do scene three? Yeah. Sure. Can you just- This feels like it's just so good. And honestly what I'm gonna say,

here's what I'm gonna say. Use this. I am! No, no, no. Stop, stop. Yeah. Stop. I am.

Listen to your director. Yep. Look at me. Look at me right now. In the eye. Use am. Listen to your director. Yep. Look at me. Look at me right now. In the eye. Use this. Okay? Okay.

Character A, character B. Okay. And action. Well! How are you? I'm not that well, really. Why? What's the matter? Because that keeps running me through these open scenes.

Okay. That's not, that's not the line. You said I couldn't improvise. I said you could do a button one time. Fine, I'll do it, fine. We'll read this as is, I'll do a button. Okay. Well?

How are you? I'm not that well, really. Why, what's the matter? The usual things. How are you? I'm fine. Mm, it's been a long time. Yeah, I thought of you the other day.

Why? It's sometimes, it's nice sometimes to think back, isn't it? Absolutely. How's everything? Oh, not bad. Do you know how long it's been since we met? Two years. Long time.

Zach keeps running me through these open seas, he keeps directing me into a hole. I think that was pretty good. Yeah, there's no way. I would lose the tail. I think that, I mean, how do you feel as a scene partner? Can I be honest? I kind of felt like I was natural. No, you were great.

You were great. And I want to be clear, probably a lot of the good things I felt was from your performance. I kind of was trying to give like mumble core. Did you pick it up? Completely. It was Gretta Gerwig. It was Hannah Takes the Stair. I think it was an overall good scene. When did you put those on?

I enjoyed putting them on. Is this like a Jack Nicholson thing? I just feel like actors will often go like this when they're in public, you know, because you can't really tell it's me. Like a Timothée. Yeah, in a way. Or a Pauline, yeah. No, but seriously, I felt like you brought a lot to your performance. There was a real rage there that I found

Genuinely affected. I felt the history. Yeah, I felt the hero's journey in your scene. Really? Yeah, actually I truly this was the your some of your best work Jeffrey. So you should really feel proud of yourself I'm proud of you. Yeah Was it some of my best work because it was really good or was it because some of my best work because it Just in comparison to the rest. Yeah, yeah in comparison. It's the latter for sure. Yeah, but you have him very nice Yeah, multiple things be true at the same time What? All right, we do have to move on I think I've already been good and that didn't help much at all I

Mean it's interesting because we ended with a lot of positivity for you, I feel like, and you still can't accept that. Like, you know what I mean? It's interesting when people push away negative feedback, but he doesn't even want positive feedback. I just don't want feedback, because I think I know best.

Right. Good and bad. You guys know Beat Shazam? Beat Shazam? Yeah, it's this game show. Yeah, I know it, yeah. Yeah. It's like me and that Shazam? Yeah, it's this game show. Yeah, I know it. Yeah. Like that tune.

Yeah, yeah, it's that. But you have to do it faster than Shazam, really. Okay. I thought we could just play that. Okay. No, nothing more, nothing less to it. Sure, yeah. I guess that's fine.

So, let me just figure out a way to get Shazam on my phone Talk amongst yourselves. It felt like the acting segment like we were kind of getting somewhere Intense and real. Yeah, and then he was like it's over. We're gonna play beaches. You know what I mean? like that's kind of just like a he has a Pattern of doing yeah defense mechanism really he's joining like yeah, he gets it. That's the crazy thing You were talking about you Are you guys familiar with each Shazam we just discussed that I know but I might edit right back into here Okay, okay, so I got it tap to Shazam right okay this whole thing should be a branded opportunity But nobody ever sells ads on this shit because we have David cross this Jake Johnson that everybody's left me in the fucking dust

This is also just already a TV show so they would probably just get ads On the show yeah All right, you guys ready yeah, I don't quite know how to do this where it's in the headphones And we can shazam it. I guess I should do it in the room, huh? Why don't you? I guess so Um, all right three two one Is this a song it sounds like an ambient soundtrack it's a song? It sounds like an ambient soundtrack.

It's a song. Okay. Says this is tough. You guys should say it says am it says this is tough. I've never heard this in my life. What is this? This isn't They got it screaming slave by nine inch nails Okay, that's not really my wheel. Yeah saying I should have realized this was a Trent Reznor joint

Yeah, I thought I thought one of you guys would get that. Okay. Here we go. Why are you playing this? It's beaches in you know, go You can't play a song that would be more fun to listen to for a little for the listener Sort of like noise rock. Is this just like from a pep rally that you were at? What is it? Jam rag by who? By John Lennon actually one of the most famous musicians in the world Right, but maybe that's his like three thousandth most famous track. He hasn't made Right, but maybe that's his like three thousandth most famous track. He hasn't made 3000 recorded songs if you include the Beatles ones it gets pretty high up there so the The reason why the beach is am TV show is fun. Yeah, because

People often do beaches am yeah people do you guys aren't doing they're picking songs. It's more about the speed. It's like a recognizable song There's a regular picking songs that are unrecognizable As a ball yeah, it's not my fault you guys don't expand your horizons Musically or otherwise by the way you're solved Playlist that I've saved on Spotify called unlistenable Exactly here we go Here we go. Okay, fine. Go I Bet it'll be a weird song. Yeah Can't say it's not music that's a piano key Yoko Ono?

["Suspects of the Dead"] Shazam says this is tough. Guys! So you- You didn't get there. You beat Shazam. Ancestors! By Bjork!

Another really famous musician. Yeah. You got us there. I mean- I'll give you guys a gimme. Why don't we, Yeah You got us there I mean you guys again. Why don't we I? Feel like why don't like we start humming a tune and then I think we could beat Shazam in that way We'll have a much more fun time guessing a tune over. It just maybe like a new yeah, I guess we just sing together. Yeah Together yeah, well not be nice. Yeah, I'm Lee band. It's like sang just sing together. Yeah. Wouldn't that be nice? Bring back the family band.

We just like sang a song together. Yeah. Plugs. Plugs. Here's my take on what happened in the episode. Okay. In the beginning he was like, it's gonna be bad episode, bad guess.

And then it wasn't, things were good. It was going too well. Yeah, actually. And then he was like, we're gonna put in this Shazam segment to bring my prophecy to truth. I think the segment was really fun. I think you guys took a fucking diamond

and turned it into a piece of garbage, which is possible. I had an idea for a segment where we would practice our evil laugh. I think that sounds like a fun segment. Yeah, yeah. Fine, fine, let's do your segment okay three we'll just start on three well you once I thought we do it all at once not all at once okay well don't do it all at once but let's start with who should we start

with I want to hear your evil laugh all right ready One. Wahahahaha. No. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha.

You gotta have more confidence. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. It was great. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha.

Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. That was a Head Gum Original.

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