The Headgum Podcast - 224: De Nimes

Episode Date: October 4, 2024

Billy Bryk joins Geoff, Marika, and Emma to discuss their rose-bud-thorn of the summer, Billy’s vices and dimes, and Geoff finally opens up with a game of Guess That State! NYC!! Come see The Headgum Podcast Presents...An Evening of Geoazz on Monday October 28 at 8pm! Get tickets: https://littlefieldnyc.com/event/?wfea_eb_id=1027966795357» FOLLOW Geoff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/geoffreyjames/ » FOLLOW Billy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/billybryk/ » FOLLOW Emma on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emmarosefoley/ » FOLLOW Marika on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/marikaelon/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a head gum original. Previously on the head gum podcast for CNN, I'm Jeannie Moose. This parrot wasn't all it was wisecracked up to be. That was good. That was good. He had the umpire repeating his calls. You've heard of balls and strikes.

Well, these are cause with stripes. I'm Jeannie Moose. I'm going to fucking blow my brains out. Or something like that. Usually it's like. How dare you disrespect Jeannie like that but she does you could never do it felt a little misogynistic

at the end just what there's no way purple button on upload I just don't want to like blow out my own ears. I'm sure It's tough it's tough You know the thing that First of all, I want to start this episode off by saying thank you guys. Thank you for being on the show But I'll more than that. thank you for being one of, I would say, my closest friends. We've all been talking for 15 minutes, you haven't said anything. Yeah. Yeah, because I was. You've been typing away on,

we've all had like a nice conversation. I also can't hear anything. I was fleshing out the outline, I was browsing Depop. Yeah. What are you looking for? Fucking vintage cheese. Honestly, corduroys like that. That's cool. Are they really? Marieke, are you looking for fucking vintage? He's corduroy. It's like that's cool. I really

Reek are you hearing better? No, not at all. You're not hearing at all. Okay. I Great start may not be plugged rate start what a well-oiled machine the New York studio is I thought we were gonna come here I thought we were all gonna have a ton of fun. I thought You know you didn't record video for half of the episode last week. That hasn't come out yet. Billy didn't know that. Emma didn't know that because she was busy. Well, you forgot to hit record. Yeah. You remembered halfway through.

Well, did somebody come in? It's hard, right? Because when you're trying to like host the show, you're trying to make the soundboard go like Emma's still struggling with the fucking tech because whoever set up this studio failed in their efforts. Who was it? Jeff it's making me sad when you're saying stuff like that. Yeah, did you set up the studio? No, right? So it's not about I'm not saying it's I did the same thing as you last week I'm not saying it's not a press record right?

Key difference key difference. I also pressed record. It's just that there wasn't a hard drive, right? So I pressed record. I was like, oh my God, there's not a hard drive. I plugged the hard drive in. I don't press record again until halfway through. My point is it's not a knock against Emma. It's a knock against whoever set up the studio. Who I think was his name was ****.

What was his name? West Hartford. Forget it. Let's just go into bond of the week Let's get this shit off with a bang a bomb right off the bat Just something to socially lubricate ourselves so that we can have a couple of joys Mm-hmm a couple of like Fond said a little joys with the boys things that could be clipped out by sage who's by the way is a wonderful editor mm-hmm I

Lost the room. Yeah, I really did. Maybe the 15 minutes of silence we endured. You were just clacking away on your keys. I was making haste to make sure the outline was there. There enough for Billy and for Emma. When I fuck up and you're on the episode, I feel like you're able to get past it and get to a place of normal conversation if not enjoyment. I feel like when I do it when Billy's on, he just shuts down. It's the goal of this podcast, enjoyment?

It's joy! Right. Right? Right, yeah. Can we get the Bond of the Week thing? It's 007, it's one of the red ones. Like a no clear indication of the color. That was great. My Bond of the Week is the greatest editor I know.

Sage. Oh my God. So you guys know James Bond? This is James Sage. Yeah. Sage Gibson is James Sage. Yeah Sage Gibson is James Sage And it doesn't even have to be double-oh

What's that mean? It doesn't have to be the same like bound to broccoli Barbara or Albert It could be like a whole new movie called James Sage and it could be about her many misadventures Yeah, so it's not even like a spy movie it's just a different movie. Yeah because I'm getting bored of this shit. You want to see a guy in a fucking what is Aston Martin with a gun? I want to see Sage falling in love on screen. That's nice of you but like it's not a James Bond movie. David Bond falls in love sometimes too a little bit.

Oh I'm sure yeah for a night. Well that was kind of his downfall in the end. Can you imagine a James Bond spinoff where he's in couples counseling? Mmm. I mean how sage is that? That's a G. Yeah, I don't think it's that sage Thursday afternoon 330. I know that Billy's mind is already at Mooji He's going to Mooji after this to complete his Halloween costume. I don't know why we're all dragging our feet. My mind's always at Muji. It's always at Muji. Practical Mujiq.

Just thinking about the pens and like... The shirts that... by the way... Shirts? The cushions. What do you mean the shirts? I mean, yeah. I'm sure they have shirts, but I just told you I was looking for pants. I know, but they have the shirts that are built for people who have like the thinnest fucking shoulders ever. That's true, yeah, I can't buy them.

You pointed at me. I saw you. You pointed at me. You have a great body. I just am saying that I can't fit into those shirts, and I take it out on Mugee. I bought my boyfriend a shirt at Mugee for his birthday, and then we were going to a funeral, and I told him to wear it, and he was like, I can't serve at the funeral. It is the most standard shirt you have ever seen. That rings true, that rings true. You guys kinda dress different. What does that mean?

To each other or than usual? Than me. You guys dress similar to each other, different than me. I feel like we are kind of a combination of everything. Servancy. Yeah, I feel like we are kind of a combination serving Yeah, like Billy and I a white shirt brown pants. Yeah, you guys black sweaters blackish sweaters sunken eyes

You're never fully dressed without a sunken eyes You're never fully dressed without a sunken eyes That was beautiful. Thank you. How's the orering the orering is great? I got an 83 I got an 83 last night you guys didn't say jack shit about my sleep. No do you want to know what mine was? Yeah, let's hear it. Let's hear it. This is from your whomp whomp or whatever. It's a whoop I got a whoop sleep score 53% yep, so five hours Do you ever just wake up and you know you look at the what is it a whomp whoop. Sleep score, 53%. Yep. So five hours. Do you ever just wake up and, you know, you look at the what is it? A whoop? It's a whoop.

Whoop or whoop? Whoop. W-O-O-P? Yeah. Do you ever go whoop or a ring? I don't have an or a ring, but maybe if I did, I'd do that. Like the moment when I switch. Exactly right.

So the day that you decide to make the switch, the upgrade really, you just go whoop or a ring I'll remember to do that if I ever buy an or a ring yeah The guy who sold this to me at Best Buy wasn't happy You had to have someone sell it to you. I well you The Jeff of Best Buy we don't work on commission man Who you guys is Bonds of the Week? And don't say this segment sucks. I never do.

I'll never say that. My Bonds of the Week is this Diet Coke, to be honest. It's kind of hitting. It's time for an inanimate bond. I can really tell you were like trying something different, but it's okay to just stick to what works. You know what I mean? What do you want me to say then? You said Sage.

You said different movie entirely. Yeah, your Bond of the Week was just a different movie. You just asked us to pitch you a movie. James Sage and it's about Sage. Yeah, we got it. Emma? Jason Schwartzman's character in between the temples. That's pretty good. It was so good. Jason. Didn't you say last week that you were annoyed with him? I always find his character annoying, but I know I'm going to like the movie. It's my model,

but he really won me over in this one. And his strategist article is incredible. Yeah. He's laminating rope, just so you know. He's laminating rope? Yeah. Sometimes you just gotta power through. I wanna know more about that. Terror, okay.

He's laminating, what is it, twine? Rope, he said. What does he mean? He was like, I got a laminator and now I'm just laminating anything I can like a rope That's what really successful people do that's why you don't want to ever actually achieve. It's an incredible read Really good what what who's your bond of the week Mike Myers, I guess What, who's your Bond of the Week? Mike Myers, I guess. Right.

You had it. Why do you think that he would be the best Bond? Just sort of, what if it was like a, kind of like a send up of the James Bond franchise? You know what I mean? You think that, well, Austin Powers is just that. It's just like a comedy version of James Bond. Yeah, but I'd like another Austin Powers. Still a comedy or like what you said, which is a send up of James.

I feel like that is a comedy too. Can we get the word of the day was said. Okay. Well you didn't tell me what the word of the day was. That's going to Austin Powers. No engaging. You said that. I said that. You can't, you say that he does it every time. Well, nobody ever says the word of the of the week right word of the day or whatever. I'm sure we have all right I'm in New York right. I'm trying to like elevate my comedy in a way you know be a little bit more New Yorker a little bit less after midnight and In doing so I might write a book, a novel really that has elements of comedy, but also heart. And I'm thinking each week I'm kind of pitching a new title.

Last week's was enjoying downtrodden. What's this week's this week? You didn't like that? No. From Brooklyn with haste. So it's about being places fast. Yeah. Leaving Brooklyn to go somewhere fast. Yeah. So I'm trying to get that published. I think if you're the cash.

Get it published before writing. The idea that's what it means. What you're describing isn't it a blank book published so then you can write in it by. I just want to know that it will get out there and that I will get money. Yeah, you're taking a journal from Muji and you're bringing it to a publisher. I'll write it with haste. I'll write it in Brooklyn with haste. You said this was a way of you, like, being in comedy in New York.

Yeah, I feel like a David Sedaris type. Just do like a drop in standup show or something. I don't know about that because I feel like it won't help me get the upstate or the main mons. Because David Sedaris has a place in I think Bangor and I wouldn't mind being neighbors with Sedaris, Amy or otherwise. Yeah, I'm banger or main. From comedy writing. Right. Banger. I think keep dreaming, man. Can we get kind of like some kind of stinger? Any of the red buttons is good.

Welcome to Billy's dimes. Do you have a wallet? Do you have a bag? I have a wallet. How many dimes are in that shit? Zero. Dimes in a wallet? Do you have a bag? I have a wallet. How many dimes are in that shit? Zero. Dimes in my wallet? How many dimes? Yeah.

It's more of a card case, I guess. So none. I guess there's a couple pictures of me and my girl, so that's at least two dime pieces. Why do you act like you just got off of a barge in World War II? Couple pictures of me and my lady at a... That's a Photoshop with you and Amy Sedaris.

How could you have known? No, look, I... My food town. I'm trying to do... Club car. Everybody goes to C-Town. Food town for a fact. I have issues with food town.

Me too. I scan this every time. You don't get anything from it. Because you don't buy any food! No, but it's not points. You don't get points. You just get like little discounts here and there. That's how those work. But I scan it every time. They ask me if I have a food town thing when there's no discounts. Because I don't buy shit on sale. Well, that's the problem. Everybody keeps fucking up this segment. It's a new segment called blanks dimes Yeah, right and I pick one guest every week to see how many dimes they have yeah

I might have like a couple there's a bag outside. Maybe there's a dime or two in there, but I don't think so all right Well, maybe you can check at the break All right, how many times have you been to dimes? Is that a never it It's a diner? Never. Well, maybe once. There's Dimes the restaurant. It's a restaurant?

Yeah. That's cool. And there's Dimes Square. Dimes Square, the surrounding area. Yeah. Maybe then, probably maybe once. Maybe been there once. Billy, can you put your mic in a little?

Sorry. I was wondering when you're going to ask that. It was a test. Is there, guys, is there anyone in your life in a little sorry? I was wondering when you're gonna ask that as a test Is there guys are is there anyone in your life who's worth it? Yeah Marika I guess me Yeah, it's cool. Is there anyone in your life who's worth it? I Guess your cat

That's not anyone though. I get in trouble a lot for calling my cat a person I'll be like in trouble a lot Like I'll be like she's such an amazing person like you know people will be like that's a cat yeah Yeah, that's kind of the problem, but I don't know what I do or how I am but you say she's such an amazing person and you purr every time and I think that's no I think that's that'd get you in trouble someone else could maybe pull that off have you guys heard of wonder the movie starring yeah Daveed Diggs and that little little Trombley yeah Ellen Wilson? That's my son's face. You know that part? I haven't seen it.

I've seen the trailer. Of course. Says that in the trailer. He has like the fishbowl on his head or something. Yeah, the like astronaut helmet thing, yeah. Yeah. Have I heard of Wonder? Well, I'll just put it here in the edit.

Jake sent that to our slack earlier Yeah, and it felt like a very headgum podcast e question to ask yeah, let alone answer guys autumn is upon us Let's go Rosebud thorn of the summer. I can start kind of I hate Rosebud thorn Yeah, you asked me that at dinner like four days ago. That's my rose. Billy and I got unlimited beef. Where? At Let's Meat, which I didn't realize was a pun until I kinda showed up at the door and saw the sign.

And I was like, oh, I get it now. You didn't realize it was a pun. I didn't wanna go to Let's Meat. I wanted to go to St. Anselm, Slam. You did, yeah. I wanted to get steak. Everybody else outvoted my ass to get Korean barbecue. Let's Meat is several puns.

Let's eat, let's meet at let's eat at let's meet at let's meet and let's eat. Would you rather meet at let's eat or would you eat at let's meet? Exactly. My thorn was all the time that I spent trying to better myself without feet. I didn't summit me. And my butt is the- My butt is Marika and I are going to Jacob's Pickles tomorrow. I know, we should make a reservation. Should we invite others or do you want to do a solo dolo? Um. Cause we could make it a whole meet. When does this episode come out? Tomorrow.

No, next Friday. Open it up to the listeners. If anyone's gonna come, it's not gonna be listeners. And we're not gonna be there ultimately. So you can show up. You can show up next Friday. You might really like it though and be like, let's make it a weekly thing.

Forgetting that you said this. So if somebody was really keen to meet Jeff, there's ways they could do it, but reach out. Reach out and ask to get lunch. Yeah, and you'd probably say yes, but if not, yeah, you could go to, what is it? Who's Chickles? Jacob's Pickles.

Jacob's Pickles. Who's Pickles? Have you been? You gotta go. No, I've never been. I don't get out much. You were kind of saying that at dinner the other day. You were kind of like, I don't do a lot. I don't. I really don't.

Does that make you sad or you're a homebody? I think I'm probably a homebody. You said you like to have your things. One place to go, one place to home. Yeah. I was saying I maybe am living in the wrong city in terms of it's like the city where you can do everything and I don't really need to do everything. I also in May was like, if you didn't live in New York,

where would you live? And you have no answer. You don't like any place that much other than Fort Greene. No, I like a lot of places. I said Toronto and you're like, eh. And I was like, what about LA? Come live in LA. And you were like, I don't know.

And I was like, so you love Brooklyn. And you were like, and I was like, what about LA come live in LA and you were like, I don't know I was like, so you love Brooklyn and you're like not even that well, I haven't found my place yet It's not gonna be one of those three places. I don't know. What about gaypree? What about where for Paris? Yeah, I don't know. I didn't really like Paris the first time I went I don't think I had the money for Paris. It's not more expensive than here. I know. If you aren't doing anything, what do you need the money for? Well, in Paris, I was just doing it wrong.

I just did Paris wrong. Where did you go? And where did you not go? I don't even know. Forget it. My friend got so sick in Paris, he sharted in his jorts at the Louvre. He listens. He's a big fan of the podcast.

I will say the Louvre is not a ****. No way. I don't think the Louvre is a good museum. It sucks. Right? Musee d'Orsay is the way to go. That's the museum to be. Sorry to the Louvre.

I'm not sorry. Because you tell yourself it's this big ass place. Sorry to the leaf. I'm not sorry! Because you tell yourself as this big ass place and yeah, physically sure but I don't want to go and just see a bunch of statues that's not that interesting to me they all look the same, you've seen one, you've seen them all I like statues Jeff making the deepest icon to everything

We should go to Dia Beacon Yeah, to see the leaves turning but it's not prime leaves yet October 24th, they said. I remember when I was in Paris, Maw was coming out, M.A. the movie. Of course. And I really wanted to see it in Paris. Yeah.

And nowhere else. I had no interest in seeing it outside of Paris. That's what you love. You love going to the movies. Yeah. I saw one of the Godzilla movies in Paris. Where you go? Cobble Hill?

Cinema? No. No, you go to the fucking... Oh yeah. No, I've never been there, but I'm open to it. AMC, A-list. Nighthawk. I have the AMC A-list, yeah. I'm thinking about the Regal thing. Don't do it.

Really? Or in addition? I just feel like AMC in New York is not really the same as it is in LA. I feel like LA has the better AMCs, but I think New York might be a Regal town. We're not. You sure?

And I do believe you, but can you tell me why? So I can pass this on to my girlfriend? I don't drink Pepsi, but I don't drink soda, so it doesn't really matter to me. Big problem with regals, it's a Pepsi place. What is your vice? Being in debt? Because I feel like you don't have a vice

and that makes me not trust you. I'm not in debt. You don't really drink like you don't have a vice and that makes me not trust you. I'm not in debt. You don't really drink, you don't really have dessert. We don't need to talk about any of this on the podcast. You don't have dessert? It's the most unlikable side of me. What is your vice would you say? No.

What's your vice? Uh... I don't like... I don't know. Sex? No. Not even... okay. Rosebud's foreign then. I don't like I don't know sex Not okay rose buds on my vice Fine what's your rosebud thorn of the summer then my dogs died Quick break we'll be right back Someone has a poor share or something. And we're back.

Rose? Um, what did I say at dinner? I don't know. It's taking forever. Yeah, it took forever then too. Rest in peace to my dog. They're my family's dogs. I'm sorry.

I wasn't there. I unfortunately wasn't there for either one. I'm really sorry to hear that. And uh, no, yeah, it was sad. That was my thorn. Eric Adams was indicted, and I can't help but feel like it's a witch hunt. Because you- Oh shit! Oh shit!

Everyone's out here talking about artificial intelligence. What about artificial you? What do you guys think? AI. We're like, A-U. That's- It's okay to have fun on the show, Marika. That was funny. I was just laughing. What part of you contains the most artifice? Um. Um. It's probably got to be your speed.

No. There's no addition to be your speed. No, there's no addition. There's no addition to my putting on airs when you're doing it. You're being authentic. I get that. Um, Emma, artifice in terms of you. You know that Neil Young song, Lonesome Me? Whoa, whoa. Artificial you.

Probably my teeth. Because it's all been like bonded and stuff. Filling. Yeah, I have a lot of feelings. Had to have like I have a crown. Yeah. You ever have a cramp? All the time.

In your in your teeth? No. Okay. Because they're bone, ultimately. I have to think about it. You go first. I would say my personality on the show. I think it's very different than how I actually am. Mm.

Mm, or you agree? Just mm. How I act around a girl named ****, you have to cut the name. I replace your **** with that, and name they both make it I think wouldn't I mean maybe he would mind yeah I was gonna like I was gonna shout out anyways and then he came up um famous person in your phone let's start with Billy and then we'll go to Emma just because the contrast will be funny. I don't, by what? Maybe, we'll say Finn.

So Finn Wolfhard, what about you? Person who I actually like, talk to in my phone or just most famous person in my phone? The second one, now I'm interested. Randomly Katie Couric. What are you talking about? What do you mean? I mean what I said. You didn't hook up with Cour. No, I am not yet, but you tried to keep sorry you tried to court Kate Yeah, yeah, which is the reason for my court case

What about a new reality show called courting Keurig sponsor by Keurig recording Keurig. Sponsored by Keurig. Keurig's Keurig would be a really good brand deal. Okay. I think it'd be fine. Are you going through your phone or trying to find the name? Jeff, yours has got to be Ryan Gall. Mine's probably Finn. I don't have Ryan Gall. No repeats. No repeats? Then it's maybe Rose MacGyver. Oh, I don't have her number. I have I owe it up Risa. Oh, you know who I have is Who also I have an incredible story about him that I've stuck up this podcast. I can't tell my story also I just need to say that for some reason I have a contact. That's just village Nothing else. I don't know what it is For some reason I have a contact that's just village. Nothing else. I don't know what it is.

And there's no information. It just says village. It's 411. There's no phone number or anything? There's no phone number. Guys, are genes back? They never left. You're an asshole.

Or do you mean, do you mean? I try to come up with some fun stuff to talk about. you just kind of like say something that leaves no room for discussion Yeah, you know use a terrible question. It was more genes today You mean And also you always yell at me when I don't respond E o a n s We got Emma with the fucking Adidas track pants. We got you in fucking work chinos. He's got cords. I got the jeans We're all covered. Okay, a jean is just a cut of pant has anyone was at head. I think those might even be jeans

They're not they're not I don't think they might They could have been cloth right now Denham's the cloth gene is like a I think it's just a five pocket pants Yeah, is anyone ahead gonna complain about DEI and why is it Ryan? DEI yeah diversity equity and inclusion I Also was wondering this is a twofold somehow if we should all take creatine gummies before the next record I've heard that it's good for the brain good for the eyes. That's a thing good for the eyes What is creepy? I can only hope so can you I know it's a protein, but I guess I'm wrong. I don't particularly care

Just trying to learn something I don't know and I'm insecure about not knowing. Got you. Have I told my gene fact? Sure. When I said our genes back that would have been the perfect time for the fact. Gene fact? Well I just feel like I've said it before I don't know why because it's my only fact. I wish you spoke with less curiosity about what you're saying. You'll say stuff and you'll say it with such wonder about what is coming out of your own mouth. You ever heard about wonder?

You ever heard of wonder? Um, people say jean jacket. There's no such thing as a jean jacket because a jean is a cut of pants. It's a denim jacket and denim is called denim because it's de neem. It's from a village in France called Neem or a place in France, whatever region,

and de means uh. That's also why there's a Pharaoh involved with a French in France called neem or a place in France whatever region and do it means Oh, that's also why there's a fair involved paint color called Deneen What say that one more time up when I'm listening? How much does co's factor into your guys's life Hoes what is that? It's like cozy. Oh Pretty a lot. I think I'm always trying to be comfortable. That's cool Yeah, I don't really I like going dancing every once in a while

You know what I don't understand is when people go dancing every goddamn weekend I'm like, where do you have the energy where they have the time? I just want to curl up and die Do you guys enjoy new cultures are you afraid of them? curl up and die. Oh, yeah. Do you guys enjoy new cultures? Are you afraid of them? Like, should rainforest tribes have access to Starlink Internet? It feels like a trick. Feels like a tribe question.

A tribe called question. Can we get an intro song? Unless you guys want to talk about the ship, you're not really giving me anything. About the Starlink thing? You know Wes Anderson's apartments near here? 13th and 1st. It's above McDonald's, but I think it's just an office now. Yeah, I thought that he lived in Paris.

He lives in Gay Paris, but he lives in a weird outing. Why do you know where everybody lives? What's that? I think it's just an office now. Yeah, I thought that he lived in Paris. He lives in Gay-Paris, but he lives in like a weird out in big small. Why do you know where everybody lives? Don't know where people have houses and things too. Like earlier you said you're like so obsessed with where people are living. I like to know where people live

because then I know if I belong there. You know what I mean? Game over. Well, it doesn't particularly work because we were about to start a game, but I guess we'll just power through. Welcome to Guess That State. This one's an Emma original, thank you Emma.

The name of the game is Guess That State. I don't know, so I'm, yeah. The name of the game is Guess That State. It's an original segment from Emma Foley. I gave it to you. I'm gonna list out things that have happened to me. I'm gonna list out things, these are things that, I'm opening up, right?

I don't actually talk about my real life on the show usually. These are genuine things that have happened to me. These are not jokes. I'm gonna say things that have happened to me in my life, and you have to say which state they happened in, right? This is for actual cash. The winner's going home with, how much is your muji sure gonna be worth not getting a sure The jeans the cut I don't know

$60 fine $60 is the prize okay, right so you could get a free jacket or whatever the fuck all right I Witnessed the worst arguments my sorry I witnessed the worst argument my parents ever had and afterwards they sat me down and announced a divorce that never came I would I Want this to be Ohio so you at least would be comfortable in your own Like you could go to your room after this and be like oh man. It wasn't yeah, why that wasn't my guess I said I would hope it would be in, Ohio. I think if you say a state, that's your guess. Florida. Okay.

New York. Show me Florida! Wow! That has to be the correct sign. It has to be the correct dinger. Um, okay. Thank you. All right, Emma's in the lead with one.

Here we go. My ex-girlfriend was stressed because she was about to leave for a road trip and her roommate needed her to move her car because they were parked in tandem and she was backed in. My girlfriend being stressed, I saw that I offered to move her car for her and in the process I totaled it. You totaled it? To be fair, the car wasn't worth a lot. And the definition of total is where like a repair necessary costs more than the value of the car. To go from park to total. Honestly, that's a really good title for the novel. From park to total.

The Billy Brick story. What state do you think this happened in? New York. From Park to Total, the Billy Brick story. I know. What state do you think this happened in? New York. Okay. California. Yeah, fuck. Ohio.

There can be reapies. No, there can't. Okay. Marika's correct! So loud. One to one, you could have had one. I don't wanna- Don't look at the screen

because you're seeing the fucking- Dude, I'm not looking at all. The screen's so dirty. Okay, as a 17 year old boy, I hooked up with a college senior. California. I think that was Ohio. Okay.

Florida. All incorrect. That's going to be. Vermont. It was perfect. Yes. What? It was Vermont, yeah. I sang a song at a zoo.

What state was this in? Sorry. And don't say distress. California. I can't say either of those. You can. He made up a fake rule. And then he lost out on points. You can guess. California. Show me Ohio!

The Metro Park Zoo. Marika's in the lead with two. Emma has one. Billy has none. I won't buy my own pants. I don't want to accept this handout. I walked head first through a glass door in front of a group of tween-age girls that I wanted to impress. Noting that I was also a tween at the time.

You walked through a door in front of me too. When was that? In California. What do you mean? You walked through the headg gum thing and you broke the door Well, that was a screen door. This one is glass. Yeah, shatter the glass by the way. It's important, too Okay, you just walked into it through it. I walked into it noticeably in front of a group of teenage girls I was also 12

They might have been a little older actually You guys want a hint I know it was where do they host the big yo-yo competitions? What state would that have been? Illinois. Feels like Massachusetts to me. Okay. New York. Syracuse.

It was Hawaii. Whoa. Yeah. Hawaii oh yeah, I Did a vapor shot? Which is alcohol infused air that hits your bloodstream within seconds What I I thought there's gonna be more but that was oh, that's it yeah Feet are asleep. Georgia. Ohio.

There are no state repeats, by the way. That's what I was gonna ask last, but then you got so mad at me when I said the other thing. Okay, then. New Jersey. Okay. Go wild card Colorado Nebraska Hmm, it was Lincoln, Nebraska. Was that a wedding okay? I? Talked to a third grader about gun ownership

When you were also in third grade. Nope. I would have been 25 Texas Arizona, Georgia incorrect Kentucky Where are you doing? How many of these are there? There's two more. Okay, you want to do them fast No, no, no, I just if there was like five more We do them fast two more. We take your time. I was On I was shooting that horror movie and there was a bunch of children extras And I was like, so what do you guys like to do for fun?

And they were like shooting guns and I was like what the hell you talking about? Yeah, anyway, I dropped a chocolate cake frosting first onto a mattress in a hotel. Oh God cake frosting first onto a mattress in a hotel? Oh god. Uh, New York. Illinois. Georgia. That was Nevada. That was Las Vegas and it's also okay to, you know, kind of enjoy the segment. I'm having fun fine I felt melancholy at a cat cafe. Oh While I was waiting for a flight While you were waiting for a flight. I was yeah takes all time In the airport there was a cat guy. No it was before I got to the gotcha Yeah, you know never mind. I wouldn't have sick. I thought it was a layover

near Oh, never mind. I thought it was a layover. New York. What random part of South Dakota, where were you earlier this year? Earlier this year. Nebraska, probably. That was last, that was two years ago. Time flies when you're having fun. Time flies when you unfollow Jeff. That was Utah!

Sundance? Yeah. Yes. All right, let's get another game show stinger or some shit for the second segment. Also, what time are we at? How long have we been going, Emma? Like 37 minutes.

37 minutes, perfect timing, all right. This one's gonna be called did they say that Alright, I'm gonna. I'm gonna give it a celebrity, and then I'm gonna give them Then I'm gonna give a quote and you tell me if it was an actual quote or if it's something I wrote Oh, it's only you wrote okay, so you're not gonna take one celebrities quote and give it to another celebrity I just like you wrote okay. Yeah, it's either something they said or it's something I wrote and what's the prize on this one? No prize who won the last one Marika But we'll see if I remember my voice is like I'm a sore loser so okay fine your vice yeah, this one's for a couple dimes Ready yeah, this is Brooke Shields Ready?

This is Brooke Shields. Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. I think she said it. Correct! Alright, this is Coco Chanel. The best fragrance reminds you of wood and joy. I think you said that.

Yeah, you. I think she said it. She did not say that. I wrote that for sure. So I had to rush this one because we spent like a fucking two hours. That's what you were doing while we were all talking. Yes, because we had a fucking 45 minute record and then I had to edit for an hour and a half for the fucking thing that we released

for the show announcement last week. What show? First of all, it's October 28th, Headgun Podcast live show at Little Field in Brooklyn. You could have prepared. Tickets are probably already sold out because we announced last week there's only 99 sick tickets or some shit. That's not true. There's more than that? We're not going to sell out.

We're not telling you any information because you will divulge here. We go act amount of money. We're making Etc This one's from Emma Foley. I wouldn't mind if sage got fired Alright, so obviously I didn't say that say that also stop Using sage as an example. Zeroing in on Sage. Yeah, what did she ever do to you? She edited not quite right, I was gonna say,

on a couple of social videos because, you know, the angles weren't exactly there. Don't give notes. But the angles were, so that's not editing, that's shooting. Yeah. And I'm the one who sets up the camera. Yeah. Your fault.

You're concussed. And don't give notes to my team like that. She's the only one on your team. Yeah. Yeah. And camera. Yeah. Your fault. And don't give notes to my team like that. She's the only one on your team. Yeah, and me. Yeah. An army of two. It would be nice if you guys went into one of these records trying to be on my side.

I get if this is the point where you turned on me, but you entered the shit wanting to be pissed. Not really. I was a good dude. Bruce Willis, Bruce Willis. The only rumor I care to be associated with is that I'm hungrier than the rock. Right, so.

I think he said that. I think that, yeah. I think you said, I mean, he may have recently said it, but he might have said it after you. I don't think he would have said the only rumor. That's the part that I'm more concerned about. Okay. Is he pissed at his daughter? He might have been pissed at his daughter at the time. He was mad at rumor, yeah. That's the part that I'm more concerned about. Okay. Is he pissed at his daughter? He might have been pissed at his daughter at the time.

He was mad at Rumorya. That's correct. I wrote that one. Justin Bieber, here we go. I have a swagger coach that helps me and teaches me different swaggerific things to do. He said that and he's and guess what? The coach deserves a god damn raise.

No way. Yeah, dude No way, dude. He's got he had crazy. Yeah, but first of all, that's dope and it's like I just Jesus Christ Question of all time. Yeah JB when JB exactly it's just one letter Rashida Jones. This week's celeb news takeover, sorry, this week's celeb news take away, she who comes closest to showing the actual inside of her vagina is most popular.

Hashtag stop acting like whores. She did say that. She did too. Yeah. Okay, you guys. But you also have said that. Yeah, but I was quoting Rashida. Yeah, but. You said that first. Yeah, she said that.

You guys are too tapped into pop culture. You know the perfect lineup for this? For people who wouldn't know what celebrities have said? Ryan, Peter, Micah. I only know that because I've spent a non-insignificant amount of time Googling Ezra Kane and girlfriends. Jean Arnaud.

You know him. No. Did we not know the face? Sorry. Did he say something about wood and joy? Because if so, you if anything else? He's the son of the guy who owns LVMH. No, I don't know who that is. He's like the richest fan. I know who that is, but I don't know who that is. What is it? John? John Arnold? John Arnoux. Just he's a guy who works in fashion,

he's like an heir. Totally. I was surprised when they made Ugly Betty so attractive. She wasn't ugly at all to me, but I guess I have weird taste. You wrote that because I saw Ugly Betty earlier. Yes, yes, yes, good, good. Ah fuck!

That was good. All right, this is Emma Foley. It's not like time travel, but it's kind of like you're doing something with time. So again. You wrote that as she was saying it. Emma, yeah, I'm gonna sign that. Yeah, yeah, I was gonna sign that.

Okay, here we go, last one. Lauren Graham from Go More Girls. Childbirth isn't worth the hospital bill, let alone the parenthood. We kind of ball our piece of that. Wait, show me a picture of her. Which one is she in Go More Girls? She's the mom. She's the mom.

So she also is in parenthood? Yep. So, Jeff wrote it. Oh yes, dude. That's the exact thought process. That makes you feel very seen. Yeah, you are very seen. You're going seen-y.

Yeah! I did go to- Were you a scene kid? What's that? Were you a scene kid? I tried to be, and I didn't grow my hair out long enough, but I did go to a fucking barber shop and was like, give me the Pete Wentz.

So my hair was like Billy's length, and they were like, okay. And they just kind of cut one side less and they like turned me around in the chair and I was like. I feel like I have seen you with like soupy bangs. Yeah, and then I did the bangs, but I didn't get the Pete Wentz.

Yeah. Can we get the Pete Wentz. Yeah. Yeah Can we get the applause going? taking it out with plugs And what you guys have to say about your careers and shit. Can I call it? Nope, anything but that anything but anything that. You could say whatever you want. I just don't want to talk to a ****. You don't have to talk to a ****.

I would be talking to a ****. Then call him when you're at a Muji. I'll call him after. I'll call him after. I'm not gonna call him in Muji. It's like a tranquil place. Yeah. I'm not gonna be the guy on his phone in Muji.

Can you imagine? October 28th. It's the perfect night to go out to a show. Monday. 8 p.m. at Littlefield in Brooklyn. It's an evening of jazz, that's G-E-O-A-Z-Z. We're gonna have a live band. It's the Consistency of Band,

which was an Emma original thought. Nope, that was Marika. And it's gonna be some of your favorite guests, including Marika Takes the Reins Brownlee, Johnny Villa on the keys, Joel Dunoff on the sax for the intro song. Stop saying that because we don't know if it's going to. That's happening for sure.

They've been practicing. And Jake Hurwitz and me, maybe some other choice guests or not. Some choice guests are no, and it's not going to be released. So if you're in the New York area, tri-state area, or you're on the East Coast and want to take a train or a tram, your only way to hear some live songs performed by me and the consistency of band band

is at Littlefield on October 28th. So be there or don't. It's a couple of days before Billy's birthday So if you show up and he's there you can give him a gift in person What else do you guys have a couple days after my birthday? So I know but once it passes It's like, you know, I feel like people don't Think that way but hmm. Also We'll talk offline about how that plug went. Yep. Um, yeah, come, come to the show.

Follow me at Marie Galan. Listen to Thanks Dad amongst other shows on the network. Come to the show. October 28th. No, plug your own thing. Even you do it as you're like giving it as like it needs an extra boost. It doesn't need an extra boost.

They already heard it once. But just to reiterate what Jeff was saying, Johnny Villa on the keys. Joel Dunham on the sacks for the opening for the opening for the opening song. Jake, Jeff, Jazz,

Jazz. Emma, what do you got? My birthday is December 31st. Really? That'll be my golden birthday. I'm turning 31. Oh wow. Are you going to be in Los Angeles?

Golden birthday, is that like a champagne birthday? I was actually really talking to Emma. I was actually really talking to Emma. And your question was, are you gonna be in Los Angeles? For your birthday. No. For a new segment he's looking at. She'd rather die.

So. ["The New York Times Show Theme Song"] That was a Hidgum Original.