The Headgum Podcast - 227: Mets Post-Mortem

Episode Date: October 25, 2024

Fresh off the New York Mets 2024 post-season loss, Amir, Casey, and Anya join Geoff to congregate, commiserate, and confabulate about sports!NYC!! Come see The Headgum Podcast Presents...An Evening of Geoazz on Monday October 28 at 8pm! Get tickets: https://littlefieldnyc.com/event/?wfea_eb_id=1027966795357» FOLLOW Geoff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/geoffreyjames/» FOLLOW Amir on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amir/» FOLLOW Casey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caseydonahue/» FOLLOW Anya on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.lovemotel/Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Yeah, it was a core memory. One of the touchstones of my life. There's the live show at Gramercy and BAT. Have you guys ever been mistreated in a relationship? I don't think so. That's great a relationship? I don't think so. That's great. Joel?

I don't think so either. This is amazing. Brownlee? And if it's not overwhelmingly positive, then... And Johnny will ask how you're really feeling. Yeah. I feel like... probably had some, like, bad... friendship moments... when I felt I was mistreated, you know what I mean?

But otherwise... Is it when I forgot to record the Headgun Podcast like four weeks in a row last year? Right? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that?

What's that? Come on, guys. Oh my God. Todo lo malo hechado pa' ella. No, it's a celebratory song, but this isn't... It's not a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song.

It's a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song. It's a celebratory song. Come on, guys. Oh, my God. Todo lo malo hechado pa' allá. Uh, no, it's a celebratory song, but this isn't a celebratory day.

This is a postmortem on our Mets. Our Mets. And it wasn't the end that we all wanted. I've never been more ashamed to root for this sorry ass franchise hashtag Mets are gonna met. I can't believe I ever got into this fucking shitty ass team. They're not able to make the fans proud. They did take a dump on Dodger Stadium. Four losses were not even competitive. How are you gonna call yourself a team of destiny then come up short like that? Lindor's bad at his job to me. Your losses were not even competitive.

How are you going to call yourself a team of destiny then come up short like that? Lindor's bad at his job to me today. I just think it's cool that I decided this. I was like, this would have been- And I don't mean just on the Zoom. You are frozen, I don't mean just on the Zoom. But we could hear you with a lot of projects that you've got to get done on the side that you parallel yourself at with self-doubt

and lack of energy towards. This would have been the season for me to get into it and I kind of forgot. But I was going to and this would have, and I chose the Mets and I was gonna get into it and then I didn't. So it's kind of- This was I was going to and this would have and I chose the Mets and I was going to get into it and then I didn't. So this was the season I did get into baseball and the Mets in April. Amir tried to accuse me of stolen valor.

He tried to minimize my knowledge of the Mets. I have an understanding of the history and the current roster. All right. I have never felt this much joy towards. Sorry. Even chuckles are interrupting I have never felt this much joy towards a team since the 2016 calves and the 2015 calves What about the Rangers?

The Rangers are garbage water to me. They're dirty. They're the dirty water that dirty water dogs come from does that make sense? Basically, it's about our Mets the amazing Metsets. But hockey season's back, you're fine. I'm... Yeah, sorry. We're trying to have a porcelain mode post-mortem over these Mets. A post-met-dom? Right? Because the fandom that knows no bounds! Look on the bright side. You can just move on to the other team that you decide if you like.

Look, the bright side is that we have a good future, all right? We have Lindor on contract for how many more years? Five? Like, there's things to build around here. We found some diamonds in the rough. Mark Vientos is a fucking postseason hero. We're watching the birth of Mets Nation. We're watching a superstar in the making. He was nervous for the first wild card game. By the end, he hit a fucking grand slam and he set the Mets record for RBI's in a postseason. I mean, how fucked up is that? It's fucked up. It's probably probably the end of the line for Pete Alonso.

Do you feel that way? I wonder if he you know, it's a good way for him to go. Man, he's old. That's old in baseball, buddy. There's so many more people on the team that are way older than 30. Yeah, you're not questioning fucking Candelita on the show. Oh, because he made a song. Because Candelita made a song, he had the purple remix. You're not going to get rid of fucking Jose.

Jose, Jose, go away. What's his contract? Is it almost up? I think it's up. I think it's up. Okay. I think it's no more in the future. But you know, chemistry is something, you know? Lindor is saying that these guys are going to call each other in decades in ways, right? Because they've made inroads in the Mets, right?

So I'm like, the chemistry is partially what got them here. You gotta believe Casey would text me and I would text in over. Right. And it never was until it was last. All was it was and I was pretty disappointed to see. Yeah, the Dodgers owner tried to be like hats off to the Mets. But he also was kind of patronizing because guess what? We took them six games.

We almost took them seven. So I don't know if he kind of calculated that into the fact that were worthy of their respect. Almost took them seven. Sorry. It's 10, four in the seventh inning. 10, four, Roger that. No, there were other games, though, where it could have gone either way in a way until it became like a runaway.

Not really. Yeah, there was no lead changes. Amir, were you rooting for the Mets or were you? There were lead changes because I feel like Amir's trying to capitalize off of the shit. Were you Dodgers the whole time? Because you would pull me aside in the office going, so who are you voting for? Are you voting for the Dodgers or Hillary? Because you tried to campaign towards me for Kennedy.

Yes, exactly. A third party candidate, the Cleveland Guardians. So I grew up a Dodgers fan in LA. Then I stopped watching baseball from 1999 to 2024. So I don't really have any Dodgers. Then I made a big bet on the Mets to win the World Series in like September. It was 50 to 1 $200 to win 10 grand. I would have won $10,000 So I'm like I'm all in on the Mets. I could have sold it. You're not brewers. They came back

I'm amazing. I could have sold it against the Phillies. No, they came back and won. It's improbable They're the underdogs, but maybe they can beat the Dodgers So I was rooting for them in every game and I even went to game two I saw rooting against the home team incredible game won that game. Yeah, and it felt oh my god This is an improbable sports story It's gonna end with a fucking the Phillies the Dodgers the Yankees the Mets taking all three of those down to completely change Their reputation, but it didn't happen. Yeah, I changed the cookie crumbles the Yankees, the Mets taking all three of those down to completely change their reputation. But it didn't happen.

Yeah, that's how the cookie crumbles. Okay, but silver lining hockey season's back, so. I don't know what that is, but the real question now is. Just put some money on any team and then you'll be into that one. Now we're talking. In a demure way, yeah. Yes, I kind of, I've been ironically enjoying

the Utah Hockey Club. There's a professional NHL franchise called the Utah Hockey Club. I don't know if you guys know that. But the Phoenix Coyotes moved to Utah. They didn't have a name, so they just call themselves the Utah Hockey Club. What were you watching tonight?

Utah Hockey Club is playing the Winnipeg Jets. I think they're gonna have a different name. Yeah, the hockey club are playing the Kraken. I'm walking around the Ducks versus hockey club. When Amir talks over you, Anya, you never accuse him of misogyny. It's because he signs your checks. Because I don't sign your checks. We're just friends. Right? To be fair, Amir was

already talking and Anya tried to interrupt. But Amir powered through. When Casey accuses you of cutting Amir off, you never say, oh my god. Reverse misogyny is when I cutting Amir off. You never say God. Reverse misogyny is when I tell Amir that I tried to try a man. Oh my God.

Oh my God. So the real question still remains, do Mets fans root for the Yankees and have hometown pride? Absolutely not. Or do they root for the Dodgers to beat the Yankees because they hate the Yankees? I have something to say. I have something to say about the Yankees.

So I didn't watch any of the games as we say. I have something to say about the Yankees. So I didn't watch any of the games as we know. I didn't want to hop on in the playoffs because then I'd be accused of being a pink hat fan or whatever. Correct, yes. No, no, I was trying to get Anya to watch. You're allowed to do that, but as a woman that does that, I'd be accused of being a pink hat fan. I was pushing really hard for Anya to get into the Mets for the past few weeks. She almost got it.

Okay, however, I watched the Yankees game. Aaron Judge? Do not do this Anya. No, fuck this guy. Pretty good. You're not a pink hat. Do not do this Anya. Six, eight or something?

You're a pink slip fan. When people get fired, you are joyful. You're a pink slip fan. When people get fired, you are joyful. You're a pink slip fan. That's true. I've been rooting for you to receive one for years now. You know, Soto, created it. Whoa.

This is a good question. Rumors are already swirling. The Yankees, this player, might go to the Mets next. Juan Soto. He's not going to. Is it Aaron? The Mets are going to offer him the most money, and he's still not going to leave the Yankees. I think he likes being in that clubhouse.

Why are we talking about how hot Aaron Judge is? Yeah, he's definitely big and strong. His old man. He's not even the hottest baseball player. Yeah, I was going to say he's not the hottest. On the Yankees, he is. He's not the hottest on the Yankees. John Carlos Stanton's the hottest on the Yankees.

I don't know who that is. Exactly right. He's also like a 6'9". He's the same body, if not better, and his face is nicer to see. Holy shit. And he brings people to their knees. It is hot for these baseball players. They're the hottest uniforms?

Now that baseball season is over. No way, the Dodgers have a great uniform. Oh, no, I don't mean the design of the Yankees uniform. I mean the fact that all these like pants are see-through to have. Oh, sure. Shirt. Because the shirts also show off their ass. What would be everybody's hair's walkout music?

That's a really good question. Let's start with your ass. Because guess what? It's like when someone's like, oh, I think my favorite song by the George's, hold on, let me play it. Give me a second. I could go on is working on this. Yeah, let's hear it. Okay.

So there I don't really have I didn't have an answer ready. So now I'm scared. But I think there could be a couple things. There's a killing machine by Judas Priest, which I think would be cool. And a weird choice kind of out of left field would be Feeling Good by Nina Simone. Really good kind of like... And I'm feeling...

Like a good entrance song. And no one would really pick that for a baseball game. Next? Yep. Anyone? Oh, I thought you were going to keep listing them. You said you had a couple. Next, let's hear your next one.

That's two. A couple is two. Would those two songs be situational? Like if you're coming up to bat and it's a real clutch situation, you got runners on second and third, the two outs, you got Anya batting for the Mets, Anya kind of skywalks up to the play, which song would you want in that situation? Is it the Nina Simone?

I think Nina Simone would be like, in the ninth we're already winning. Bottom of the ninth, like we got it. Okay, we've lost. Freezing again, yeah. First shirt, first shirt. First shirt. bottom of the night like we got it okay we've lost freezing again yeah for sure for sure for sure for sure all right well it couldn't have been that interesting let's go on to Casey for me I have 12 songs permission to play them all in order in full in kind in, in earnest, in ears.

In utero. That's really good. Casey? Now I know you play... China? What? What? Your nickname is China.

Since when? Never. When? Like a couple weeks ago. I was lucky Casey. That's also kind of good and racist. It's not? Casey, what's your walkout song? You're holding up the whole show.

No. Oh my God. I know you play, you play it on this show from time to time, but I think there it is. Yeah. That'd be good. It's not from major league. Bat to the bone. No, that's a, that you're thinking of a wild thing. Yeah. That's good. Which is also... Wild. Wild thing, yeah. That's good.

Which is also pretty cool. But Bad to the Bone, I think, is really funny. I think that's really good. Amir? Cut the sleeves off my jersey. Okay, now we're cooking with gas? You have all fucking aesthetic to this shit. Sleeves off the jersey, refuses to wear a helmet. Yeah, although in this scenario, you'd have to go,

you'd have to play for like a single A team, like the Gainesville fuckers or whatever. Yeah, I'm playing for the Gainesville fuckers, I cut the sleeves off my jersey, I refuse to wear a helmet, instead I wear a bandana. That's really good. Begging for a concussion. And when you like lean into your batting stance,

which would be weird, by the way, it kind of flashes like a whale's tail. And that's like part of it, like all the fans also start wearing thongs. Yeah. What's your walkout thong? Amir! What's your song, man?

Let's get into the groove of this shit, New York or otherwise. So I'm more of like a pinch runner than a batter. But if I come out there, imagine just fucking bottom of the seven. Down to two. Runners and spores. And it becomes this song. I'm not done. Emma just walked in.

Give me a look like, don't hurt me. John De Stier's, hear this show. Off in bleer. As you walk out to be a pinch runner. It's called G, eat blue chew for your pee. Show off and blear as you walk out to be a bench runner Eat blue chew for your pee. I can tell that we are gonna be feet And it goes right into a fucking suicide squeeze That's what batter sort of bunts the ball and the player from third is trying to steal home at the same time The Bunt Lord lures the catcher off the plate and letting me,

the pinch runner sort of scramble reached your limit on talking. Shut the fuck up. My walkout song would be funny every time. Yeah, funny. My walkout. What if he did it to you? Now batting. For the New York Mets, number zero.

Anya zero. Strike two, strike three. I've been in the box this whole time. Yeah. That's Wing It Hussars, a Lithuanian folk song from my mom's side of the family. Because yeah. Very cool. You're boys half.

I have a question. Has anyone ever walked out to like the good, the bad and the ugly themes music? Probably. What is wrong with your wifi? You don't know. I think like the company should pay for you to have fiber. A coyote I believe chewed on her wires.

It was a rat. I called T-Mobile and they said rats chewed on our wires. No, my real walkout song I think would be Jet by Wings. Hell yes, brother. And then everybody would like, the fans would start to realize that everybody's, My real walkout song, I think, would be Jet by Wings. Hell. Yes. Brother. And then everybody would like, the fans would start to realize that everybody's, when I'm walking up, is supposed to go, Jeff! That's so good. Yeah. How are they going to realize it? Are you going to turn and look at the crowd and yell that?

No, I think they would have the guy in the orange glasses at city field be like, Jeff. And then the whole crowd would get it. Oh, yeah. And I would say third, I want to say. It's Jet by Wings, I already said you're not you're not you're not bad. It goes, but I can almost remember their funny faces. That one. I don't know if that is.

It's like, chat! Woo! Jeff! That's really good, actually. I think you would bat eighth. Fuck! You're the guy that Liz expected to get out. You're not ninth because they kind of want

the ninth batter to get on base for the... To have something to tee up for Lindoria. Exactly. I would say I'm actually more of an Alvarez type because Alvarez literally just swings at everything. And I'm like, that's kind of what I would do is like, I got to hit one of these fuckers. No way there's that much strategy. Add hobbies to your life on a continuing basis.

Continued education? More like continued joy. I feel like people limit themselves after like 26, that it's like, I've never really been like a baseball fan, I can't get into it now, because I'll be accused of skullduggery, scumbaggery, haggis baggis. I'll be accused of stolen valor like a mere did to me, right? But I'm powering through the haters Right. Yeah, and I'm getting

I Actually have something to say about this idea If I can okay if you're done all time Casey's druthers. It's not a rebuttal. It's more of a, I encourage this. I- Encouragement time. I, yeah, you can get into baseball.

You can get, Anya should have gotten into baseball when I was like, this is really, the middle of September was already the playoffs basically for the Mets. They had to win every game. Like that's the time to, to get in and watch. And if anybody is like, you're not a real fan, those guys are the most annoying people anyone ever has ever met in the, in life. So why do you, I'm,

I'm kind of trying to point at a mirror. So why do you? I'm kind of trying to point at a mirror. What's that? What's that? So what do you care what those guys think? You know, if you want to watch baseball, watch baseball. And if someone's like, you're not a real fan, they can they can burp in a helmet. Oh, is that real? That's not why I didn't.

By the way, it's not really why it's too many games. Can you see? Oh, I finished. Really bad timing. True, true. I think Casey's right. And that's what Jeff, you're going to get into this, I'm sure. Or do you want us to kind of get into what?

Like new hobbies now that you're done with baseball and that kind of became a personality. Well, are you going to watch the World Series, Jeff? You have to pick a new personality. I might. I just, I feel like it's a really boring World Series. I don't really care. What are you going to root for? That's insane.

Okay, I get that it's like the two fucking faces of the league going up against each other. It's going to be like the highest rated World Series in over a decade. Yeah, it'll be highly rated. I find it to be boring subjectively, right? Because the Mets aren't in it. Because the Mets aren't in it and the Guardians aren't in it, alright? The Guardians are my AL team, the Mets are my NL team.

Neither made it. I was hoping one of the two. I didn't want it to be Guardians, Mets, I didn't want it. But you're an LA and a New York guy. Not Yankees! Also, the Dodgers are fucking boring boring dude. The Dodgers are boring. Shohei Otani, the greatest show on earth. I haven't gotten deep enough into baseball to just appreciate baseball history, right? I am a Mets fan first, a Guardians fan second. It's not baseball history. Shohei is currently playing. He's going to be in the World Series

on Friday. He's making the history. They're in the 50-50 season or whatever. Or was it a 60-60 season? No, it was 50-60. It was almost 60-60. What I like about Shohei Otani is that they do ads for skincare now at the Dodgers games. That's fun for me. Why do they do that?

If you're looking for a cute baseball player, Shohei Otani right there. Not really. Better looking guy than Aaron Judge for sure. No, he looks he looks bad. That's insane. And maybe racist. No, it's not racist at all. Yoshi note.

Yoshi nobu. Right. It's Yoshi nobu Yamamoto. Yeah, yes. I shouldn't. The racist thing is that I second guessed myself. I knew his name. He's hotter than Otani. 100%. No, sorry. No offense to Yamamoto. Okay, Otani's like, his face looks like a baby's. Yoshinobu has the

fucking jawline of a champion. And someone who- I disagree. Okay. So what's gonna be your personality for the next six months or so, Jeff? It's a good question. I guess you could hop on the Knicks bandwagon or something. Yeah, you've hopped off the F1 bandwagon and that's still going on for-

I was never really on it that much. I didn't make it. I was watching Formula One. I was a fan. I wasn't making it my personality though. The Mets are the only thing that's brought me joy this year in a lot of ways because it's been chemically hard. Maybe like something outside of sports. Cars maybe, car meetups I feel like could be fun is like, you know, showing up with my tattered

Tacoma that has like a dent in the fender from I think someone backing into it when I was parked on the side of a street. And I pull up to that as if I'm showing off something of note and talk to guys about like pistons and shit instead of going to therapy or starting well

buterin. Well, true car fans at any car meetup would love to see any car. That's how I feel. No, and people do like, I mean, it's like a 2004 Tacoma. It's actually kind of awesome to have. You could put hydraulics in the back of that. I've seen people do that.

I don't fucking know. What are you guys making your personalities about for the next chapter of your life? as a young adult Amiri that disqualifies you for man. Well, I picked up I picked up that one. I picked up car racing No, you're right. And also you you have racing in your family history Slash your genes in a way and I don't mean like G G E N E S I mean like your denim is that of you know, someone from the 70s who.

Yeah, that's what I assumed you were. Smoked marbles or golds. Uh, I don't know. That's cool, though. I'm going to get into hockey. Is that true? Is that true? What were you guys talking about? I said I was getting into hockey and I was going to root for the Bruins.

Why the Bruins? Oh, because everyone in my life that likes hockey likes the Bruins. I'm a Rangers and or Islanders fan. I haven't chosen yet. Or is really good. Well, okay. Everybody's like, you're not from New York. You're not from New York. My mom's side of the family going back generations

is from Long Island. So. We've talked about this. Yeah, it's right. No, I know we have. It's from Long Island. There you go. So, but my grandfather was a Mets and Yankees fan, right? So I got to choose.

We have an exact conversation on this show. I know, it's following the fucking thing. I wanted to be a Rangers fan, right? But there's no family lineage there. You've already talked about this. I said that my mom used to figure skate at the Nassau Coliseum. No, you left that part out.

So I should be an Islander fan by that metric, but I don't want to go there to see the games. I would rather go to MSG, right? That's a huge part of it for me is I'm like, I want to see the shit in person. Yep. You want a glad hand there. I want a what? Glad hand at MSG. You need to grease some palms, talk to some people, because that's your big...

Oh yeah, well we tried to do a live show of the Headgun Podcast at Madison Square Garden. It didn't end up happening for whatever reason. I think it was like collusion or something, like people were against the fact that I was bi... Racial? Bi? Sorry, I paused for too long. Bi-racial, yeah.

Yeah. By? Sorry, I paused for too long. By racial, yeah. Yeah. I think it'd be really funny to see Jeff courtside at a Knicks game. Yeah, I'd love to get to some level of success. Even if I'm only in like one movie that does well and I'm at a bigger agency and I can sit in the CAA seats, that would be so funny to me. Yeah, but yeah, when they do that, it's like you're there for a quarter

and that would also be really funny if you're like you become a huge Knicks fan just for the one quarter that you're going to be sitting court side. And then and then you're done with them. I mean, basketball, I'm still just a Cavs fan and wherever LeBron plays, which is just going to be the Lakers for the rest of his fucking career. So. Yeah. Amir, how are you feeling about the about Brawny? Seventeen points. This is a full sports episode.

Finally, something I could talk about. I was just thinking, go ahead. Brawny isn't quite there. Right. But 17 points. He was in high school a year and a half ago, and that's just not how it works for most people. But maybe there is a project. Are you embarrassed by the brawny of it all? Casey, can you do that again, but do it in your best

Sebastian Maniscalco impression? I forget what he sounds like. Oh, God, you guys. I'm not a purveyor of his content all that much. He just sounds like a New York Italian. Hey, are you embarrassed by the brawn you have at home? Forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it, let's just continue on.

Yeah, it's about sports and that American work. How many of your listeners do you think love sports really? Maybe half, who cares? We're talking about a lot of different sports here, so there's something for us to spread in the wall. Who cares? We're talking about a lot of different sports here, so you know. Not really. There's kind of three. There's something for everyone. We mentioned baseball, we're talking basketball, touch-up hockey.

No one's talking golf. Watching golf? Yeah. Might be a fan. There might be a fan or two. Yeah, well they can go watch golf then, right? If you love golf, turn this off in the comments. If you love golf, go watch golf. don't listen to this show then fucker

Real warriors energy But I'm here you feeling optimistic about the Lakers you think it's another midseason and it's kind of like why are they even Continuing down this path just cut everyone loose and LeBron to the Mavericks or some bullshit and then just start from scratch. I'm feeling cautiously pessimistic about the Lakers. I'm intrigued and curious about what JJ Reddick can do with the exact same roster. And Natch or whatever the fuck his name is. Nietzsche?

The fucking guy. What's his name? Cash fucking German philosopher, dude. The fucking guy who said God was dead. He's starting for. Yeah, Dalton Connect Connect. Yeah. Do you think he's going to connect? Do you think he and Bron are going to connect on like an alley or whatever?

Well, he's got some Kyle Corver in him. I know you appreciate that. Yeah, I don't know if he'll end up being a Korver three machine for me. I think he ultimately is a pre-season hero. Yeah, well you called him Nietzsche, so pardon me if I don't give a shit what you think. His name is Dalton.

You think he's ever gonna be able to dunk then? I've been taking ketamine for my depression I'm on a horse tranquilizer enough to put down secretariat, so yeah making me tranquil dunk Jeff even though you tried to blow out our ear drums earlier, I can still tell that the things you're doing with that baseball bat sound awful and are getting picked up by your microphone. You aren't frozen this time, but like you're speaking and your mouth is not moving on the video, but you're blinking. It's really hard to see.

I just feel like it's going to be really annoying for listeners. Let's talk about cricket then. If we're going to talk about golf, you got to talk about the other boring sports, right? Highly. Let's fucking get into it, right? Fastest sport in the world. Also know as Zestaputa. Highly? Yep.

I saw a highlight clip recently where the guy threw the ball against the wall so hard the wall shattered. Yeah, it's too fast. I don't think it's a sport. I think it's like violence at a certain point. Yeah, that's kind of how you follow House of Highlights. Nice House of Highlights. Yeah. Guys, do you run? Let's just keep talking about different sports.

I walk on a treadmill, but I suffered a hip injury a couple years ago skateboarding. So that's actually a lesson in not taking up a hobby or even continuing your old ones past the age of 26. Yeah, yeah, you should. Well, I didn't say they had to be physical. I mean, watching the Mets is not physical at all. And if anything, you just sit at a high top and drink, you know, flavored beer. Baseball is my favorite sport to go see live. And I hate that they added the pitch clock because

it's sped up the game too much. I want to be at Dodger Stadium for three and a half hours, not two hours. It makes watching it on TV better. It makes being at the game worse for sure. Yeah. I went to three games at city field this year and it was great. I didn't end up going to a Dodger at all because I was out of town for some reason the week the Mets were in town.

But Dodger stadium is a great stadium. How many baseball stadiums have you guys all been to? I can start. Yeah, you start. You have nothing this season. Our live show, I'm going to plug it right now. Nothing. Our live show.

You lose. Is on Monday. If you're listening to this, the date came out, our live show in Brooklyn, if there are still tickets, there might be no tickets left, is on this coming Monday, October 28th, at Littlefield in Brooklyn. So if you live in the New York City area, the Tri-State area, or anywhere on the East Coast,

that has a train or tram or ferry or trolley that could get you to Littlefield on Monday. Do it or don't, it'll not be recorded. It's a live special variety hour and a half to two hours version of the show. It will be well worth the $15 that it costs or not. And I've been to progressive field or Jacobs field if as it was called. I've been to seven. Can I finish or did Beyonce? I assumed you were going to say progressive in city and that was it.

I've been to progressive. I've been to city. I've been to Dodger. I've been to Oracle. I've been to the Nationals feet part stadium. I don't know what it's called. I want to go there. It looks like a beautiful stadium.

It's neutral. Every like everything in D.C. that just doesn't actually have any personality. Wow. Yeah. That's fire. Right? Oh!

That's crazy. I can't believe you said that. That was a subtle dig at Kamala. Yeah. I've actually been to eight stadiums. What are the other ones? Wrigley Field. Wrigley, Camden Yards. Of course.

Oh, I'm also in the Yankee Stadium. Yankee Stadium. The old Yankee Stadium. We haven't been to the new Yankee Stadium. Citi Field I've been to. Dodger Stadium. The Detroit one where the Tigers play. I've been to Dodger Stadium, the Detroit one where the Tigers play have been there.

Comerica Park. Comerica Park, that's right. And then whatever they call the stadium. Well, I've been to Marlin Stadium, so I guess nine, but they used to play in what was called Joe Robbie Stadium, but now I don't know what it's got. It might be the Hard Rock Stadium now, I don't know. Definitely, definitely. This is so boring. What do you mean? It's like a pilgrimage thing.

This was your idea. You pitched the Mets post-boredom episode, yeah. I know, and I'm regretting it. You slacked all of us and said, Mets post-boredom? Yeah. No. And it's becoming an Anya post-sportom. That's really good. Post-sports-dom and post-boredom.

No, current, not post. Mid-boredom, I get it, I get it. So some people mood board, you mid-bored. I thought it'd be at the top of the hour and then Jeff would have other things. Jeff would have, would have- No, I plugged the show because I'm fucking knee deep in that shit, right?

I had to write a whole fucking ... Spoiler alert. Do you know Casey's gonna be there? What? No, I plugged the show because I'm fucking need even that shit, right? I had to write a whole fucking... Spoiler alert. Do you know Casey's going to be there? What? You didn't tell me China was coming. I texted you. No, you didn't. In our Mets chat.

I said, Jeff... I've been focused on the fucking Amazons, right? I'm like, Jeff, I'm going to New York, I'm going to be at the show, and maybe we could go see a subway series Yankees, I thought you were saying if there was a subway series that we should try and get tickets No, I'm gonna be there and I'll be there. Okay. I thought you were only gonna come in the world series. That's great There's actually been a couple things. You know what? Yeah, I'll talk to you about this off air But no, I'm like putting my whole fucking brown ass into this shit, right? My brown eye is the only thing that's guiding me right now.

And I'm I didn't have time to figure out fucking, you know, you know, yamly feud or whatever. It doesn't matter. You can also just like sweet potato. Like we interviewed a thousand times. Really? That's kind of funny. Yeah, I was going to say it could be like a like in root vegetable. Yeah.

No, sometimes it's important to just have a fucking wax episode. I just did a Go Touch Grass today. If I guess comment on the YouTube video, if are go touch grass fan who doesn't hate me I came with like a prepared list of tweets that I would have twat if I hadn't deleted my shit And it was just bomb bomb bomb and I thought they were kind of fun them. I want to hear them. Okay Shout out go touch grass by the way, if you're a fan of this show and you haven't heard that one you should go listen to it true Shout out Go Touch Grass, by the way. If you're a fan of this show and you haven't heard that one, you should go listen to it. True. If you like hearing Jeff. Sorry, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up. I was going to say no, not you on you. You're perfect. Oh, I can keep talking. Oh. So the first one I was saying that I because it's a show about Internet pop culture and being online. They basically summarize everything that happened that week on the Internet so that you don't have to be on the internet. And so I was like, this is perfectly on theme. I deleted my Twitter in February, RIP.

Yeah, to a lot of silence. That's crazy that he was counting his followers all the way up until 10K and then he bared ass on the day and night. For all to see, yeah, for all to see. And all for ultimately nothing at all, for it to not even exist anymore. Comedy's not for the history books, it's for the now.

Fucker. Rom-Dos kind of shit for Jeff. Here we go, tweet number one. Yeah, Amir, shut the fuck up. This was tweet number one. It was, um... It would be a photo of me holding two loaves of homemade brioche. And the caption would be, is somebody going to match my yeast?

What's number two? Number two is going to be a photo of me with crackle and pop. And the caption was going to be this and snap. I will I promise you, I will genuinely laugh at the first one. That is funny. I can't even hold it in when you're when you're on your own. So keep going. OK. The third one would be a photo of me holding my personal prescription for doxycycline and it would say this and the clap.

Chlamydia joke. Okay. And they didn't like these. I didn't like, I don't get the format of that one, but. It's a parody of this end yap, which is like an internet thing, which I thought they would like cause yeah. Did they? The, the fourth one would be, um, you know, how's moving castle. Yeah. Well, this is howl's New York Seltzer. That's nothing. Keep going.

It could be like a photo of the Eiffel Tower, and then the tweet would be, that shit trussin' trussin'. It could be like a photo of the Eiffel Tower. And then the last one, this is my favorite. It's a photo of Mrs. Miss Frizzle wearing a strap on. And the tweet is sticking out my gat for the Frizzler. What's that? Tickets are still available for the show?

Yeah, headgum.com slash jazz, G-E-O-A-Z-Z. I don't think that's right. Joel coded it so that it forwards to headgum.com slash live. No, I know. I mean, the whole thing is Joel coded. That's cool. Isn't it G-O-Z-Z? No, it's G-E-O-A-Z-Z.

What else? What else? What else? I can't believe that. I feel like that's a little clunky. If it was me, I would have dropped the A. I added the A back in because it is clunky on purpose. And it looks worse on a poster.

Which I think is funny. in because it is clunky on purpose and it looks worse on a poster Which I think is funny. I love working on the show by the way with you. I had something else Other than what? Something else in addition to something else.? Yeah. Or something at all? Exactly. I think it's a good episode so far. I think so.

I think my favorite part is when we figured out where the Tigers played. Yeah. Why do you think Jeff has a bat? I like that statement, there's a bunch of Tigers there. Exactly. This is in the New York office. Also, I just beat the shit out of Will Conover. He came back to get some of his shit, and so I broke his knees

because he owed me gambling money. Crazy. What else? I don't know. It's been a couple of weeks, so I think some really great episodes, right? I don't know. It's been a couple of weeks, so I think some really great episodes, right? And I am preparing for the live show, and that's more important to me right now than this episode.

I apologize to the tens of thousands of listeners. But you know, every once in a while you need a wax episode that ends up kind of being luke warmed bad just so that people are grateful for the episodes that are great. It's crazy that tens of thousands is actually correct. That's the craziest part. I mean, you guys didn't even like the fucking ranch or not segment. So I feel like this group specifically, I feel like is falls into the latter category of like this. Yep. I read the comments for that and it was really funny because every it was like 50% people saying horrible segment, 50% people saying funniest segment ever.

Worst episode ever, best episode ever. It was kind of like duh duh duh. That's good. Really, it's hard to kind of pander to this crowd because they're so divided. Like our country. Yeah, guys. We're so divided as a nation.

Yeah, maybe. That's what I just said. We were talking about this on Go Touch Grass. The Glenn Powell, Sidney Sweeney, Romcom, I feel like has Romcoms back on the mind and also back on the investment stage, right? In terms of film financiers and the one that came out a year ago. Yeah, because I'm saying that in the wake of that, there have been a couple more like mid-budget rom-coms coming out. Like I just saw We Live in Time.

I thought it was pretty grand. Rom-com? What's that? We live in time is a rom-com. I think so. What do you think it is? I haven't seen it. Okay.

Well, it's a rom-com. It seemed like it seemed like like, you know, like a Lawson translation sort of serious, like, like not less calm, more rom. Yeah, rom-drom. A rom-drom-com. It's a story about two people falling in love and having highs and lows. I think it's a rom-com. Is there comedy? There's some tweeness to it.

I don't know if it's funny. Okay, that would be the calm part of comedy, of rom-com. Rom-drom then. Would you say In the Mood for Love is a rom-com? He's never seen that. I've never seen that. What... Okay, I'm trying to tee up a fucking interesting thing to ask, right? Okay, okay.

Which is... If you... You're just producing, you're not writing, you're not directing. All right. Don't get too excited. China. Look, you're talking to a couple of film producers right here. Already getting way too excited. That's why I was about to prevent that. Your job is only for a movie that's going to have a budget of like between 20 and $40 million. Is you have to pair two actors.

Who would you guys choose? I would use whatever sort of algorithm search that all the agencies use to figure who's got the most traction online, who makes the most money, and I would say this person and this person. Yeah, I was gonna say this person. And that's who should star in the rom-com. Okay. Smart.

Here's what I would do. A little lack of innovation. I would kind of go off of... Charlie D'Amelio and Anya Zero. And Doug Demure, the guy who reviews cars. The comments are just going to be Finn Wolfhardt and Anya if you do that, by the way, because they are always speaking about how we look like siblings. Yeah, by the way, I texted Finn and I asked him if he would be on with you to see who

the real Finn Wolfheart is and that that text he didn't respond to. Interesting. Yeah. I would go so everyone right now in lines talking about Meryl Streep and Martin Short, maybe being in love. So I would kind of like, oh, that's really good. And cast them in kind of like a. Older age demographic rom-com, Nancy Meyers,

street of five. I like that a lot. It could be like Nancy Meyers, like something's gotta give meets 50 shades in that sort of on theme of like, you're never too old to start a new hobby. It's like, you're never too old to get into some like fringe kink shit.

I think that's really funny. Yeah, it's a really good idea. I think you should bleep this whole thing because we're giving this away for free and the execs are listening, you know, they're listening If they were listening I wouldn't More yeah We need more golf talk here You think as soon as we start talking about golf this show is gonna take off within the Hollywood elite I think as soon as we start talking about golf, the show's going to take off within the Hollywood elite.

Exactly. I saw Scottie Schaeffler this weekend. Who is that? Scottie Schofar? Scottie Schaeffler. Who is that? We heard the name. We don't know who that is. He's a gold medal-winning golfer.

Fine. Where did you see him? In Austin. He's from Austin. Can you talk faster? I feel like Marika is starting to rub off on you. Like you can just speak how you normally used to. Or are you slowing down? I'm telling you, he's from Austin. He's a professional golfer.

Yeah, you went to Austin to see a UT Austin game with your brother. You want to talk about it? Is that what you're fucking Segway? You're teeing me up to segue you. And they introduced Olympic winning. Faster! For the love of Christ! When Marika's not on the show, it's like a respite for the audience, right?

From this. I don't think so. I don't think so. So this guy won two masters in 2022 and most recently in 2024. And the university honored their Olympians during halftime of this football game. And it included one Kevin Durant and it included one Scotty Scheffler who won the gold in the most recent Olympic Games for golfing, which I didn't even realize golfing was an Olympic event.

They got it. I don't like that. They got to get rid of that. Yeah. Hasn't affected your life, Casey. Didn't even know it was happening. So what the golf or the Olympics? You didn't know that golf was at the Olympics.

So I did. Oh, I love watching the Olympics and I think they got to bring baseball back to the Olympics. You didn't know that golf was at the Olympics. So I did. I love watching the Olympics and I think they got to bring baseball back to the Olympics. They baseball's not in it, but golf is. That is crazy. Even I could admit that. Thank you. Do you watch the world baseball classic? I love the world baseball classic. So you got the Olympic vibes in that tournament. Yeah. But you know, you also get the world Cup, but soccer is also in the Olympics. Yeah, but with soccer, I can have it all.

Can't die. 21 or something. Like the players are under 21? Yeah, there's some like wrinkle with soccer where it can't be like the best players in the world. No, it was, I know the women's national team was like the US women's national team, like all the usual suspects were there.

Yeah, Olympic soccer rules. Recently learned about the new. Recently learned about the new. Welcome to dissect that dish. Yeah, so men's Olympic soccer is under 23, which is to mitigate the competition for the FIFA World Cup. Amir, Marika, Riley and I have a group chat called Find Your Bench, which is a text thread

where we just send things that we find in the world that kind of look like Jake and Amir headgum video, headgum comedy bits, I feel like. Things that make us laugh because they're off as hell. For example? For example, I was on a subway platform yesterday, I sent this to the group chat. It's a musical, it was an ad for a musical called Empire, which was a, and it said, based on a true building.

It's a musical about the Empire State Building. Here's a couple choice things as well. Amir sent a photo of two street signs at an intersection. He was at the intersection of 6th and Onion. That feels pointed at me, but okay. I forgot Onion lives on 6th and Onion. Marika was at the airport. but okay, keep going. I forgot Anya lives on sixth and onion. You get your doxing, man. Marika was at the airport, she was at a Sebo Express,

and there was an entire category of the menu that said mixed and enrobed nuts. Enrobed. Marika sent another one that said the Princeton shuttle, in parentheses, I guess this is a nickname for the tram, dinky service remains suspended in both directions. I sent one, it was an Instagram targeted ad that I got from a place called Fancy for Life, and it said,

did you know you would have to eat five apples today to get the same nutritional value as an apple from 1950. And then the caption says, can't say this as a scientific fact, but we can definitely say it's not far-fetched. To which Amir said, not true, but kind of cool. And then the last one that I'll share is Marika sent a cover of a children's book called My Gunkel in Me. So this is... Is that gay uncle?

I'm pretty sure. Either that or good uncle. I think gunkle and me. So this is a segment loosely based on that group chat. It's called Dissect That Dish. I went out to a nice dinner the other night in Fort Greene at this place called... Yeah, we can see the prices.

Third Falcon. Pretty nice. This menu read to me like something that we would send and find your bench. All right, here we go. We can go, if not item by item, the first things that jump out at us. Under the appetizer or derv section of the menu,

the first thing is in sarcastic air quotes seemingly, instead of olives. So what is it instead? I assumed this was you ordered something and the waiter put this in because it was supposed to be olives, but then you're like, can I get something instead of olives? Okay, and then gave this to you.

Yeah, that's if you don't want them to bring olives to the table, and it is $8 for that service charge. No, I, okay. I did inquire. Okay. I said, yeah, by the way, as soon as I saw the menu,

I couldn't, like I started laughing and I was like trying not to be rude and I couldn't stop laughing. I was able to contain myself and I was like, so yeah, so when it says instead of olives, there's no descriptions on this menu, what is it? And the person replied with the same cadence, grapes. No.

I was like. No. I was like, I'm not an idiot for not knowing it was fruit. Yeah, putting instead of olives there is kind of like when you said, I actually have something else I wanted to do. Okay. Welk. What do we think Welk is? Nobody Google it and if you know what it is, don't say. I'm going to guess some kind of green. I know what it is. Don't say it then. Casey, what do we think welk is? Nobody Google it, and if you know what it is, don't say. I'm gonna guess some kind of green. Don't say it then. Casey, what do you think?

Oh, why are you being so mean? Literally, I'm gonna log off. Casey? Anya? No, Anya knows what it is. No, I can't play, because I know. Well, okay, you can make a guess as a joke, but I just don't want... Some kind of green!

Remember you said that, Lucky. Well, okay, you can make a guess as a joke, but I just don't want... Some kind of green. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Remember you said that, Lucky. Well... Ha ha ha ha ha! That's what I think it is. I think it's ordering milk when you didn't want to. It's like, well, I guess I'll get the milk.

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Anya, what's your joke guess? I don't have a joke guess. Okay. You want my real guess? Yes. It's like a type of snail.

It's a sea snail. It's like escargot. Instead of olives. Yeah, that's good. Everything is instead of olives. All right. The next one that jumped out to me. Then yeah, you can get you can actually get the soul,

which was the most expensive thing on the menu for the price of $8. If you just order it instead of olives, it's actually a way to hack the menu. Can I get instead of olives instead of olives? The cured fluke, which I know fluke is a fish But I thought it was funny because it kind of seems like you like preserved salmon Like as a mistake Yeah, I was trying to grill the bitch but it ended up being cured on accident it was a fluke

That's really good. This one fucking got me immediately. Greens of the moment. It was the greens of the moment. Tell me what to eat now. We got the greens of the moment. I don't remember what it was though. Well, it's changed since then.

Well, yes. Since then it means like it only, it only exists ephemerally kind of in that moment. And yeah, in that way, in that way. And in that way, I would guess hour by hour. Yeah. Zoom of the day, greens of the moment. Yeah, exactly. Right.

Yeah. Bond of the week. No greens of the moment. That's good. Greens of the Moment. What do you guys have? What do you guys think is the Green of the Moment? Let's start with the Green. I'll go Sean Green, who pitched the opening pitch at the Dodger game I went to. Jewish Dodger game I went to Jewish Dodger

Legend once it means in a single name and green That's Sean Fuck you fuck you fuck this And let's just move on to China Fuck you. Fuck this. And let's just move on to China. China Casey's sounds like a great dive bar, so I don't know why people start to get upset with me. Are you spelling China with a Y or an I? I. Okay, but not where you think.

Shine the eye. Casey, what's your green of the moment? It's the green of every moment. The almighty dollar, baby. Okay. See, we're getting creative. We're having a ton of fun. Anya, what's your green of the moment? I'm gonna go classic, I'm gonna go return to form,

I'm gonna talk about actual greens, a little spicy mustard green. Okay, kind of something. Is there like a delay or? There was, your internet is terrible. I know, I feel like nothing has been landing for me today because of this. You should have seen me in the Go Touch grass. I didn't know that was supposed to be a joke.

You should have seen me in the Go Touch grass. Wasn't that in person? So there's no delay that you could have really blamed me. I didn't say there was a delay. I just said that I lost the room and I don't know if I even had them, really. It's a bummer. I would say my green of the moment is the shade of the New York studio. I think that I don't know who threw that together, but I think it's a really nice bluish hunter.

You know, which we could have taken a little bit of inspiration from that when we were like outfitting Studio G. It could have been more of like a chine green. It could have been more like a cola or even a China Casey red, which is like the green of every moment is envy because you don't get to decide any of these things. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, we got there.

We got Zung you as the ending joke. No, I was just like this, that, and the other, right? And Anya was like, right? I thought that was really funny. All right. October 28th, Monday, October 28th, headgum.com slash live, Headgum podcast, live at Littlefield in Brooklyn. We really have put a lot of work into this show.

I think it's going to be really fun and we aren't going to be recording it. So be there or don't, but just know that you're going to be missing it. And I would also recommend getting your tickets in advance. Don't bank on there being tickets at the door. There might be there might not. We don't know. We don't know how the next couple, but there's not that many tickets left. So get them now and be there or not. China, what do you got? So get them now and be there or not China. What do you got? No, I have one thing to say I do think we're recording audio. We're probably might not be releasing it We don't know yet. We're definitely not recording video I just want to say that because if we end up releasing it later They're gonna be mad at you for trying to sell them tickets under a false pretext Okay, I just thought it would get more asses in seats and cash in your ass's seat. We don't even need help. It's almost sold out.

So, like, if you want to be there, be there. If you don't... I also didn't know we were recording audio. I thought... I think we are. What I'm saying is, like, nobody come for us if there ends up being a recording. But you should be there in person

because there's going to be, like, audience participation stuff. There's going to be some cool surprises, special guests. Yep. Casey seems concerned, but that is happening. I'm not concerned. Amir, what do you got? I'm recording the live show next week, so come on down. It'll be fun.

That's cool. I just had to record that. Are you going to be in New York for the show? Oh. Casey? I was, Anya asked a question. Yeah, and he didn't respond because everything goes over his head these days.

Not really, I was. Every time we record this shit, his mind is like on a fucking tennis court with like going to play with like your buddy Jesse or whatever the fuck. You're never present. Your problem is that you're not present. Let's continue with Anya's plug.

That might be true, but I don't play tennis with him. That's not even the part I want you to agree with. I want you to agree that you play with tennis with Jesse. I played tennis with Cohen, quite frankly. Okay, okay. That was awful. How did you sit on that for almost an hour before using it? Anya! What? What? What's that?

Have you ever used that sound before? No, it's a debut! This is a world premiere! The morning after new show with Lamorne Morris on Headgum, which is cool and exciting. Yeah, we just got to get Max Greenfield to show and then we got all the new girl guys. About that. Oh, yes, we're working on it, of course. Tell him the guy who played the guy who fell off of a hoverboard on the neighborhood season five, episode 18 has a show on the network.

As always, you can Venmo me at Anya Konevskaia for doing the show if you like it and putting up with our friend Jeff. I also found this, you should listen to the Love Motel. You can call us at 857. If you're showing us something, we can't see it. It's okay. I'm gonna There's not it that yeah, there's a huge chance. Whatever fuck it. It's fine

Whatever no come on. It's fine. Why don't you text it to me, and I'll show it Casey uh Hey, you can you can check me out? I'm gonna be on display on a cam boy site. I'll be on display at the Headgum Live Show. No my plugs are casemakesmovies.com. Go there, watch some movies that I made. And I'd also love to plug the 2024 Mets. They had a great run.

It was a lot of fun. My dad's a lifelong Mets fan. I was kind of really hoping they would go all the way for him. They didn't. So I'm back to the Dodgers. I'd like to plug Shohei Otani. I would love to plug Kike Hernandez. I would

love to plug Mookie Betts. Bring it home boys. Fuck the Yankees. The Yankees should never win a World Series for a hundred years. And then they should win four. That was a Hidgum Original.