The Headgum Podcast - 228: Big Stick

Episode Date: November 1, 2024

Recorded three days before the Evening of Geoazz live show, Will, Marika, and Amir join Geoff to discuss their greens of the moment, figs vs gourds, and play a round of Did Phil Jackson Just Die?» FOLLOW Geoff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/geoffreyjames/» FOLLOW Amir on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amir/» FOLLOW Marika on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/marikaelon/» FOLLOW Will on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/willconover/Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast... I asked you to define what yulsoylsand means. The narrator is setting out to ruin rice. Right. We got that part.

Right. And so that's gonna entail seeing some char, burning the rice. Maybe it's burning because you've added too much soy. Right. Right. Rice is. I see. I see. You'll soil sand. Which is, no, we don't have to move on because you're saying you'll soil sand, but you're the one ruining the rice and then you're saying to someone that they will soil the sand.

Yeah. What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? No, Jeff, I have a question. Yeah, let's get into it. I've known your soundboard to be a thing that one button will cut off the sound from another button. Yeah, it's also really well organized.

I feel like you didn't mention that. Yeah, I didn't mention that, but I'm confused as to how you're able to do the KC, what's that over the theme song? I'm like a DJ with two decks, right? There's two record players and I can... There's the two tabs. There's two tabs.

I mean, I can do this kind of thing. Like we can go from my favorite position is GEO right into a yeah. Well, yeah, I can do it. What's that? But yeah, what's that? What's that? What? Yeah, it's the what's that? Then I'm just really. OK, so we can go from we can go from this.

Okay, so we can go from this. Oh! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! And then... Ah! Okay. The whole thing is about innovating! It's about getting everything ahead of step, right?

Slowly but surely. What? Oh, no. Amir. Slowly, but surely, I said. Amir looks like he's in one of those like optical illusion rooms where you're standing on the ceiling, except he's. The weird spot. That's funny. Will, you moved to, I want to say Laurel Canyon, right?

You're in the... Not quite, not quite. Well, I'm not even in Los Angeles right now. Where the fuck are you? Spoiler alert. Boiler alert. I'm in the boiler room of the Dakota. Yeah.

I'm in Orange County right now, but yeah, I did move. What do you mean Orange County? Are you in somebody's family's house or you moved to like the OC? I'm in my family's house. I'm in my dad's house. You're not from the OC. Originally.

Well, originally from Orange County, Florida. Orange County, Florida, that's what I was gonna say. Does your family only settle down in Orange Counties? Cause there's only a couple. Yeah. Orlando to where? Huntington? Sorry, I'm not trying to interrupt you

and I feel like people are gonna jump down like the report. No, please. No, I'm not trying to and I'm not doing it. Well, I used to say that it was the most popular named county in the country. It's not true. It's like 17th most popular. What's most popular? You must know. I don't know the commenter on the head gum podcast

that I mentioned that on schooled me quite quickly. Is it Kings County? I would assume it's Kings County. Is that because you're in Kings County? Why do you have to be such an asshole? Yeah, it's because of that. But that kind of takes away the power of what I was saying. We pointed it out. It's County. Yeah, it could be. that, but that kind of takes away the power of what I was saying. We pointed it out. It is not. It could be. I see the answer on Google. What's the answer?

Well, you want me to guess? You want it to be trivia? I already guessed. I said Kings. I thought it was Kings. You're sort of on the right track with like the revolutionary theme, but Kings is incorrect. Washington County. St. George County County is correct. Correct. That's what I said.

I thought you said door county door. County's funny. Yeah. It's funny that you thought that. It's not funny in a vacuum. What else? It's time for Greens of the Moment. Right? Okay. Last week, well, Will, do you know what this is?

No, I'm fully aware. So you don't listen every week. I like the theme tone and then the switch up. It's fun. So it's Greens of the Moment. Right? My girlfriend and I went to this weird dinner place where they had this thing on the menu called Greens of the moment, right? My girlfriend and I went to this weird dinner place where they had this thing on the menu

called greens of the moment, which I feel like was just a daily salad. But I'm getting a little tired at the bottom of the week and this menu handed to me on a silver plate the next segment to take its place for now, which is greens of the moment. What do you guys think is the green of the moment? For me, it's going to have to be okra.

So it doesn't have to be a leaf. Okra, okra. Okra. I love an okra. I have to go escarole. That's cool. What the hell is that, though? I don't know. Is that you don't know what that is? It's a green for sure. I don't know. What is that? You don't know what that is? It's a green for sure.

Amir? I just don't really know the profile or flavors. Amir? The lulav is a closed frond of the date palm tree, and it's one of the four species used during the Jewish holiday of Sukkot, which we are in. I saw a bunch of Hasidic Jewish people with those fronds, I would say. They were palm fronds, and they do shake them to and fro. Are they used on people's mons? Can you kind of tickle someone's pubis?

No, they're sort of meant to be wiggled up, down, left, and right. Right, but that so is a mons. Wiggled? They're supposed to wiggle wiggle with it, yeah. Is this anything because like Marika, where does Lamont's take place? In Lamont. OK, so in Lamont, that's like a race to see who can be in the fastest car. Sure. Shouldn't they do a Lamont pubic's a Lamont's pubis where it's like the first one to, you know,

self-complete wins the race. And people could be like doing it in like four seconds, like something that's like seemingly impossible. So you want the city of Le Mans to do an event called the Le Mans pubis. Yes. Where people try to orgasm fast. Yeah. We should pitch it to them. people try to orgasm fast. We should pitch it to them.

Call it France, Paris, Jeff. That's okay. Well, now you're starting to jump down my throat. Will came into this with a good attitude. I'm jumping down your throat. I'm giving you advice. I was saying might as well do it. What were you saying before Amir joined the Zoom about the fucking gift that I, the gift that I gave you that... Was a gift, by the way.

You're supposed to be kind. I gave it to you in earnest and in kind. He did. And you hopped on the Zoom, you were complaining about having too much of it. By the way, too much of a good thing is better. I wasn't complaining at all. Okay.

I was showing the cookie. I was eating a cookie from Schmackery, it's my favorite place in New York. Shout out, sponsor me. And for my birthday, Jeff bought me two boxes full of cookies to my party. And I have... That's a good friend.

That's a good friend. I mean, we're talking... It's a good amount of cookies. It's a good amount of them. We're talking, no, far more than that. It was more than 24 for me. It was like 48 cookies. It was honestly...

Let me just do some quick math in my head. I think it was like two rows of nine cookies. So that's 18 per box, two boxes plus an extra three in a bag. So how many people were at the party? Oh, well, I would say around 20 people over the course of the night, but there was cake and there was cake provided and that was stated in the... So how many cookies did you bring home? All of them.

And then also because it's a tradition between one of my friends to give each other baked goods for our birthdays, I had two extra cookies from Schmackerie's from her. So, you know, 18 plus 18, what's that? That's gotta be 35 at least. 35. Yeah. 30. It's the better part of a hundred rounds.

Yeah. Those sugary, sugary rounds. Two days. They start to go bad. They start to go bad like fruit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you ever had a ripe oatmeal raisin? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. The context of this episode is that, yeah, it's going awesome. Yeah. And my greens is basil.

Nice. Let's move on from the greens of the moment. Well, is the green of the moment the green cookie, the fucking spooky round? What's it called? The sugary, icy round? Sure. Yeah, did you like it?

It was an almond sugar cookie. Oh, it was unbelievable. No, I was jealous of the boxes. Yeah, you could have taken some. No, those were for you. I just should have gotten some for me while I was at Schmacker's. Which by the way,

if you love a cookie store that smells like a bodega that doesn't have any ventilation above their grill, Go to Schmackeries, because it smells like burnt bacon with a ton of extra oil added onto the fat in the grease. I've been going there for, I want to say the better part of over a decade. It has a flat top,

and a cookie store shouldn't have a grill. I've always said has maple bacon cookies, but they're not grilling the bacon there. It really smelled like they were doing the bacon without the maple because there wasn't sugary. There was nothing sugary about the smell coming out of that grill. I watched it. You guys voting for? Probably this is coming out next.

Yeah, probably Donald Stein. Donald Stein, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Should we screen that right now? Yeah, you can if you want to. Okay, let me just pull this up. Why don't you guys talk about,

who are you guys, well, who are you voting for? I think I- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get clear with this while you do that. I feel like we can guess based on the county you're I... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get clear with this while you do that. I feel like we can guess based on the county you're in. Yeah, and the general vibe. Yeah.

I did register in Los Angeles. I think it's wrong to vote where you don't live. So I registered in Los Angeles County. Yeah. And I plan to vote for Kamala Harris. I'll admit it. Oh my God, it's official. I'll admit it. Holy'll admit it. Oh my God, it's official.

Holy shit, you fucking said it. All right, this is basically, if you're listening to this, we had our live show at Little Field this past Monday, right, it was a fucking hit. And- It hasn't happened yet at the time of recording. Basically it was a fucking hit and we sold out the bitch, I would say.

Yeah. And a lot of blood and sweat equity went into the shit. Right? And I feel like I don't, I mean, Marika has worked her fucking ass off. I would say Emma's worked her fucking ass off. Ali's helped. You know, Ali's put in her two cents here and there

in a way that's really cut down on the time that things would have taken. Amir almost to a certain extent worked against the whole Shabazz. I don't think he- He scheduled his own podcast live show at the venue and we were trying to schedule this. Exactly right.

So we got pushed back a month. And then beyond that, I don't think he's done anything to plug the show. I think he's been publishing segments every week as a way to take attention away from the fucking promotion of the bitch, but basically. I was publishing my own podcast as a way to, what? To take attention away from your live show?

Information output is taking up the space in my lane. Stay in your own. You have delusions of grandeur or something that you think that. Take a break, we'll be right back. Oh my lane. Stay in your own. You have delusions of grandeur or something that you think that- Take a break, we'll be right back. Oh my God. No, cause you know, you take it too far sometimes.

And we're back. I don't know who's idea that was. I wanted to do like a who are you voting for style thing. Yeah. Yeah. Cause the election is like days away. Maybe the day after this episode comes out, right? No, it comes out on Fridays. Thanks for your support. Should we get Kamala Harris on this podcast?

Whoa. Is that crazy? She's doing a bunch of them sort of trying to get her word out. Yeah, but she would have to do it on an episode that would come out before the election. So if we record next week, by some miracle, we get Kamala next week. It's episode that would come out before the election. So if we record next week, by some miracle, we get Kamala next week, it's not gonna come out before the election. I wouldn't mind that at all.

This is garbage water. I think it's been going okay. I think it's been going fine. Amir, why did you decide not to come out for the live show? I wasn't invited. You were asked in terms of like, Amir, why did you decide not to come out for the live show? I wasn't invited. You were asked in terms of like, are you going to be here? Yeah, I was asked if I was going to be there, but I wasn't like,

It's hard because that's not they got back to me. Anya was like, no chance from Amir, no chance Amir does the live show, let alone another episode ever, maybe. Well, it was more like a no chance Amir is going to be in town because we can't pay to fly him out. I just think things get lost in translation and I'm often shielded by the truth. Yeah. Hmm. You're definitely often shielded. You're shielded by the truth or from the truth?

By the truth, because I feel like the truth is like a marring agent. It's like a veil that's pulled over. Yeah. To your delusions of blander. Blanger. Blanger. Blanger. Blander. Why don't we have merch for the show? I feel like it would sell really well. I mean, I tried to come up with the fucking my other cars, a massage thing. People love it.

You know, we're selling it. If it is three days before the show. Yeah, it's hard. So I did one thing at a time is what you mean or $20 a piece to print. What is what happened? They're exorbitant. Yep. I'm not going to print them. OK, dollars to print one poster.

50 pieces. Well, from where? Because that can't be the only place. We're not going to print them. It's like the butthole of New York City. A gow. Yes, exactly. It's sort of like a gow's colon. How do you figure? Because it looks like this long narrow strip next to the gow of New York. The canal, you mean? Yeah.

Don't you mean a bow of a ship? No, I mean the gow of New York. Or do you mean like a gow where I ship? I mean the anus of a g gal is where the show is taking place. But the show's gonna be, I would say, incongruent with that kind of environment, right? It's not gonna, because you're almost insinuating the show's gonna be like a massive piece of shit. And I'm saying that the show... I'm saying it's gonna be a hemorrhoid basically on the gal's anus.

You're saying that it's gonna be a strain on what is otherwise a perfect ass. Yeah, kind of like an inflamed blood vessel in the gauze anus. Or like a pimple on someone's remond. No, not a pimple. Sort of like a bug bite. Because a pimple can be lanced. And this is so built into the gauze anus that it can't actually be excised. Yeah, but I just feel like the whole thing is going to be,

you know, a show that makes people entranced. It's not going to be something that requires someone to get that ass lanced. It's not a hemorrhoid dream. Do you think you'll hang out after the show at that bar next door? you know, a show that makes people entranced. Will you have a drink before the show to get a little loosey-goosey? I think I'll have a beta blocker or nine. I think I'll take straight up blood-fitting, blood-pressure medication so I can physiologically not panic before I go on. To give the guise of a guy who has a lot of confidence there, I was a gifted child academically and socially, and I'm falling apart at the seams. It seems that's the case.

All right. Can you Lance? But who do you think you're actually going to win the election? Let's get predictions on the board. Trump and Kamala, but they're saying that in the poll so that the fucking leftists don't like stay at home thinking everything's fine. I was sitting on the train last night at like 11 p.m. and a guy sat in the middle seat next to me and then proceeded to scroll through the most toxic Twitter feed I've ever seen

in my life. His Furry You feed, so not even the following. It was just Donald Trump, Alex Jones spaces, appearing at the top, RFK tweets, anti-woke memes. And I was like, oh. That was a logged out user saying the For You page. You looked up and it was Jake Hurwitz right next to you.

And before that, before that, I was sitting next to a fun dog with his tongue sticking out. So it's a real downgrade. Yeah. What's the fear there that like there's a lot of guys out there like him and that I do think that they're just posting these like, oh, they're like

both tied at 48 percent to make sure everybody votes for Kamala. You think there's those are not actual oh, they're like both tied at 48% to make sure everybody votes for Kamala. You think those are not actual results that they're having like secretive meetings of let's produce a poll that it's tied so we can get people to vote? Correct. You think that's a, don't you think that's a little nefarious for the New York Times to do?

I don't think they're acting in good faith or in kind otherwise. I mean, have you seen these op-eds about people that I resonate with? I don't think they're acting in good faith or in kind otherwise. I mean, have you seen these op-eds about people that I resonate with? I don't know. Have I? Who do you resonate with? And what do they say? It's so big. I don't know. Have you seen an op-ed by somebody? He's kind of like me. I tend to side with...

It's kind of like me. Nice. I tend to side with me. What do you make of these newspapers that refuse to endorse a candidate? That just happened today. Fine. Yeah. What like the Wall Street? Yeah.

Yeah. Washington Post and the LA Times are like, we're going to one because it's owned by a billionaire who doesn't want Kamala. Do you think did it come up in this podcast? Democracy dies in dankness? Or did I see that somewhere else? Democracy dies when like a room is full of weed smoke. Yeah, just I thought of it today and I was like, I either heard that on the Headgum podcast or saw it.

I saw it on the floor. I either saw it, heard it or came up with it. It's one of the three. It has to be. It's one of the three. It's one of the three that's between Kamala Stein and Trump. It's got to be jail.

Yeah, I don't know. I think either way, that world's ending, right? Yeah. I don't know. Just one quicker than the other. I guess maybe. You guys disagree or? No, I said yeah.

Why? Come on, let's figure this shit out, right? A lot of this has to do with the energy and the momentum. The energy. Come on, let's figure this shit out, right? A lot of this has to do with the energy and the momentum. Oh, everybody interrupts each other. Don't let the train get off the rails, right? Because then we're not going to be able to find's on to the next thing. It's like moving forward. What's next?

Right? Yes, exactly. What's the next plan? So you get it. So you get it. Yeah, I think they might bring Pluto back from the dwarf planet to a regular planet. And then if we could get like a high rise there, that could be cool.

It feels like a PR push. They're bringing Pluto black. Yeah. Nice. All you other planets don't know how to act. Yeah. Yeah Take it to your anus It got a Neptune Pluto I got a Jupiter Saturn Gotta beg a heavy data data data a dad a heavy to black yeah or it's

you in a paint and sip class painting planets and you're painting Pluto and you're using the wrong colors and it's I'm painting Pluto black why yeah Maria do you want to talk more about your birthday? We should say it was at the ****, which is a bar that you're at often. People want to meet you and kind of greet you. They can... Not really there often. Go to the local lodge.

But let's keep that anyway for sure. Local dive, local hunt. Yeah, it was a great time. A lot of friends came through, a lot of coworkers who are also friends. I was surprised Comutte showed up. He also said that he listens to the show every week and then I brought up something from like an episode two weeks prior and he was like, what is that?

And I was like, so you don't listen every week. I don't need you to listen every week. You don't need to like nervously say, yeah, I listen all the time, man. Don't call him out like that. He's not even gonna hear it. He's not gonna hear it. He's not even gonna hear it because he doesn't

listen to the show, right? I'm just saying, I don't want people to say they listen to the show because they think I'm fragile and that I'll fall apart at the idea. I don't think anyone's doing that. Really? So don't worry. Okay. Yeah.

But it was nice to see him. I don't care who you're voting for. I care who you're rooting for. What does that mean to you? I want to vote who you Want to want to win. So what if I say I want Kamala to win, but I'm voting for Trump. That's awesome. You love that.

That's a fucking thrill. No, it isn't. It's interesting. Well, okay, Marika, you brought this up, by the way, at your birthday, that your bones are turning to... Sometimes you say the right thing, but ill-timed. That would've been the perfect thing to say if I had gotten the thought out. Okay.

Marika, you were saying your bones are turning to fiber. I've said this on the podcast before, though. I know, but just for the people in the back, slash Mike, who might not listen every week. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, I mean, it's your dentist. Dr. Ahmed was basically saying that your teeth will become krill. Dare you say her teeth aren't bone? I know, but well, yeah, and it's not my teeth. It's going to turn to krill, I was saying.

Yeah, that's why do you keep saying krill as a. I like to think about you at Jacob's pickles with me and AJ Yeah, kind of housing a scone Through your teeth suction wise like a fucking whale getting plankton through krill Sorting through what gets left behind in the sea and what makes it into your intestines I thought crow were just little shrimp. That they're eaten up. That's like those pink swarms of stuff in the ocean that the blue whales are chomping on with their weird teeth.

I thought krill was thin teeth whales had that filtered out the other stuff other than plankton. Yeah, I'm gonna go with no, but let's get a fact check on this. Krill, our little fish are small, exclusively marine crustaceans of the order. You've... You've... Is that Gemini? My hair position is GEO.

What are you talking about? Is that Gemini? Did you Google it? No, this is that's not Gemini. It's the overview. It's the standard. Have you been using that? Never. It's terrible. You don't even look at it. I try not to.

Well, what's so bad? Can I say I recognized it? Amir, I recognize the language that Gemini uses. Well, what's your plan? You're in Orange County. You're living with your family. Like, when are you going to move to like an awesome neighborhood in New York or in L.A.? To. Yeah. So already did.

I live right by the office. Actually, I walk to work. How many people in L.A. walk to work? Huh? I guess Jeff and Alex. I used to walk to work when I lived like an hour away by foot. Yeah. But I would get those steps in to try and get that asphalt. I used to walk to work when I lived like an hour away by foot. Yeah. But I would get those steps in to try and get that ass felt.

And it worked. Not really. Why are you? The plan is to move. Yeah, what's the plan to become awesome then? Did your partner move with you? I'm not trying to cut you off, so don't. We live together.

I wasn't gonna. We live together. Okay. First time. It's going swell Why did you want to live in that neighborhood? Because I kind of feel like it's over. It's been done in a way It's a good question. We're in Virgil village right next to courage right next to Does your room smell like burnt toast all the time in a way that makes you feel like you're having a heart attack or a stroke? bad jam

That's squirrel. That's yeah, it's right next to the street. Yeah. Oh, is squirrel still popping? Do you want to let people know exactly where you live like that? I saw celebs at squirrel just the other day. Who's he? Well, okay. I wouldn't mean celebs.

Let's hear. They're pretty famous. One of which we have a deep connection to. They're eating lots of jam. And they're having lots of mold. I saw. As disguised as jelly. That was the craziest news thing ever.

One of the craziest like weird niche news things. Yeah. But now you've got to know they don't. I bought a burnt round of yeast. Waited in line for an hour. Did you see something? To get a wr vehicle that was burned. Doesn't sound like it anymore.

I saw Gretta Lee at dinner too. Who's Gretta Lee and where at dinner? Don't get him started. Me? Yeah. Lee? Lee? Gretta Lee, we rolled along.

Really good. Hey. Where did you get dinner? That's's it. Where did you get dinner? That's really good. Where did you get dinner? Oh, I can't remember the name of the place. It was weeks ago now. I think it was KFC.

Yeah. On Western. A famous bowl. She was hip deep. Korean fried cluckin'. No. And I sat right next to her and her husband and they were talking about schools

for their children in Brooklyn. Okay, so imagine like a type of bag, you know, like a. So you know Birkin bags? No. Okay, well, they're like really expensive Hermes bags or something. They're like a purse, right? So, or just, but people say like, oh, I got my Birkin or whatever. So like, imagine a purse that was called Tlocker. Because then you could say, did you see her Tlocker? Got it.

That's good, Bigelow style. Nice, Catherine. Like the T? Yeah. T? Catherine O. Bigelow? That's really good. When do you think we'll know the results of the election? Will it be a night of thing or a week of counting and deliberating?

I think it'll be a night of joy. At? Night of joy in Williamsburg. It depends on which states go which way, right? Last time it was different because it was neck and neck till the very end, right? But if Kamala walks away with Nevada, with Arizona, with Pennsylvania, with Michigan,

she's fine, we know it that night. And then, oh, we don't have to certify the results. No, you don't. Just fucking take their word for it. That's awesome. That's really dope. The un-news nation. Yeah, he's the best we can get.

He's really the best we can get. The knacky is high. It would be funny to have a head gum, like whatever election map check in, and I'm doing the cornacky of it all. That would be the first funny thing that ever happened on this show. Hello. Yeah, he's on ESPN app. It's not calling you.

Yeah, I know I shorted Apple 10 years ago, and I'm still waiting for that stock to pay me back quite right. I'm kind of on the same page with the GameStop situation. Yeah, I am shorted. I was late to the game. And at that point, it was just like. When you invested yesterday, right? Yeah. Um, no, they somehow paid them extra for a share. I tipped Robin Hood.

Did you get a game? Amir, did you come into this episode not really wanting to have a good time because you had to go into the office because your Wi-Fi at home got chewed through by a gopher? Whoa, is that what happened? I don't know. It's tough to say that it's by a gopher, but I will say the Wi-Fi in my house is not working and there's no real way to get an update or talk to a human at AT&T that will explain

to me what's happening. So I'm just sort of DMing with bots all day long and they're like, yeah, wait 24 to 48 hours. I'm like, all right, you said that on Tuesday but it's been 72 hours, what can we do now? Thank you for your patience, please wait 24 to 48 hours. I'm like, at a certain point, I have to just discontinue AT&T and just go back to Spectrum, I guess,

because you won't let me talk to a human who can explain to me what the problem is, let alone how long it'll take to solve it. And I'm talking to these people and they say they're humans but odds are they're AI bots right what are the odds that AT&T actually employs somebody one who's human and two who can tell you've reached your limit on talking shut the fuck up that's pretty good. We're kind of hands on face power. Don't you hate that? That was an absolute power move.

It was. You pulled it off really well. Thank you. Amir, what did you think about that? It's funny. Well, what's the poster behind you? Disney Magic? Disney Cruise? The Disney Magic and the Disney Wonder. Whoa. You got it right. First try.

Huge. You want to go? It wasn't that hard. I mean, you know I want to go to Disney. It's not going to Disney. It's going on a cruise. I never will go on a cruise ship. I'll never step foot on a cruise ship unless it's not leaving port. And like the Queen Mary. Yeah. Or the Titanic Museum.

Yeah. Yeah. On a scale of one to ten, how well do you think the live show went? I think it was one of the nights of our lives. I think so, too. I think we did a great job. I think we crushed it. I think we had fun. And that's all that really matters in the end is are you going to go out afterwards?

What do you mean, go out, like go to the box, go to the fucking, you know, I don't know if New York has poppy, but we could get a couple tables and a couple bottle services for sure. Maybe we go to the Brooklyn Soda Fountain place. That'd be fun. Actually. They might also close before the show starts. I don't know how long we've been recording for.

Does anyone know? Forty minutes? Just forty? Yeah, but under that, because we started recording before Amir got here. I think we're rounding up so that you end the episode soon. I feel fine with... I think it's a good episode. Yeah, I think we've really kind of pushed things along.

I think it's releasable. I just don't think it's, you know, it's not our best, but it doesn't have to be because guess what? I'm in the throes of planning a variety show for the road slash ages. I know that the majority of this audience won't get to go to the show, but it's gonna be good enough that you're gonna be like,

if you didn't get tickets when you could've, you're gonna regret it. I'll say that. I think that show's gonna be unbelievable. This episode, it's bad. It's fine. Is it getting released in the feed? No.

One night only. One night only. Wow. Exclusive. Sorry. I thought we might release it. No. Oh, no. But we're recording the audio. We're recording the audio for posterity. Just in case someone... Well, this is bullshit because last week I was like,

guys, this will not air. You have to get tickets to the show. It's not going to air. Anya said it might. She was like, well, we're recording it. That's not true, Jeffrey. That's not true. And I was like, okay, fine, we might release it.

I guess. I don't know. I guess she was privy to information that I didn't know. But now you're the kind of be all end all. And I'm saying that I wasn't promoting false information. This is some bullshit. I feel like there's no like real hierarchy at Headgum. I feel like it should be like Marika, Amir, Jake, me,

and the rest is fine. We should do a corporate restructuring episode. And you want the whole restructuring to be Marika at the top, then me, then Jake, then you, then everybody else is on an even plane. A level playing field. Marty, I'm here, go in. They can be on a financing sector side of things. They can keep getting money for us, but we'll really run the show.

Gotcha. When you say we, you mean Marika, and then me, her assistant, and then Jake, my assistant, and then you. No, it's not like I'm a third assistant to Marika. You're Katie's assistant. Yeah. So how's that gonna work?

Katie has to be up there too. I think it's like me and Katie. Nobody has to be at the top. That's the thing that I feel like, that's what I feel like is. And there's Katie's assistant. I think that some of the issues that are going on at HeadGum, which are rampant,

are because people think things have to be a certain way or that people need to be included. Katie doesn't need to be near the top. I think it needs to go Marika, me, Jake, Amir, and then everyone else is like level-blank at the very bottom. You bumped yourself up. Yeah, because I thought- In the second round, you really thought- There are a couple of things that Amir was saying just there that kind of, I don't know. We're showing a lack of leadership, a lack of direction in some ways. Interesting.

Did Phil Jackson just die? Whoa. The lady? Wait, what? Oh, no. Phil Lash died. Is this confirmed? I hope no. Phil Lash died. Phil Jackson just... Is this confirmed? I hope not. I love Phil Jackson. I don't see that information.

No? Question mark? What did you see, Jeff? I saw Marika like this. And I was like, I didn't realize she was such a Grateful Dead fan. Grateful Dead. Phil Lesh died. Yeah.

What else? So Phil Jackson's fine. Phil Jackson's fine. Phil Augusta Jackson's fine. Who I thought he met at first. Everyone's fine. Who I thought you met at first. Everyone's fine. I'm trying to, I'm looking around my room to see, oh, Amir, I know you talked about this on a previous episode,

but how was your Austin experience? Compared to mine. It was very busy, but the game was very fun. There was 105,000 people in the football stadium, which is some sort of record. There were 140,000 or something people, 125,000 people at my event. A lot of people in Austin. I wonder how many people come when it's like South by Southwest if it's more or less than 200,000.

It felt very like desolate in the city proper. Oh, interesting. So everything was happening. What if we created a business? Because I feel like Jake and Micah keep having these side hustles that are seemingly doing kind of well. What if I created an internet company that was like... I mean, you know, like there's like the, what is it?

The medical scrubs called figs. Yeah. So this, we'd have to figure out what like the URL would be for this, because I want it to also be called get figs, but it would be called get figs, maybe be get figs.io. And it's kind of like Harry and David boxes or like, you know, just whatever.

Monthly deliveries of figs. I'm interested. I really like the ice. Yeah. Fig related products too. It could be like jam. It could be spreads. What do you have other?

Types of fruits and veg. I would like to stick with figs. I don't know if I wanted to be Gordbox. I might start a competitive company called Gordbox. I don't know if you make Gordbox because first of all, I don't think it's either or between figs and gourds and that's maybe the difference between our two companies' philosophies, but I do think that a box full of figs would be good to ship to people out of Nora. But Gordbox is good seasonally too.

Like you'd have a huge fall. Yeah. And then the rest of the year you could kind of coast. Whereas figs, like when you need your figs. You don't mean autumn. You mean like you like fell down stairs in a public setting, sued. That's where you get the seed money for gourd box.

You have to plant all those seeds. Yeah. Yeah, that's really good. I always hear about like specialty gourds. Like, obviously, they they bred the honeynut squash fairly recently as a easier one to cook. That was sweeter than a butternut squash. But you don't really hear about that for figs. There's no like specialty fig thing.

So you want us to breed figs? I mean, I feel like you should. If you're offering a box of figs, you should be. Why can't it just be like one type of figs once a month? 30 figs, one fig a day. I think that's a better, cleaner idea than gourd box. Yeah, fig a day keeps your happiness at stake. An Advent calendar style Fig Box.

I'm just thinking about like, getting a box of gourds to my house. It's so nice. Like an acorn squash, a coconut, a bunch of honey nuts. That's life. I'm just saying, we can't do Get Figs because Get Figs is the scrubs you are are. Did they not get figs dot com? They got big box.

Or no, sorry. What about? I said, yeah, that's what you said. No. What about have figs? Yeah, that's a LVS. How the figs. I might have to head out, just because I thought, like, this is going to be, like,

a 1230 to 130 thing, but we came 20 minutes late. Fair. Fair. But what about halved figs? Would you invest? Yeah, and I would have stayed having known that, if, like, we were still having meaningful discussions, but it does seem a little bit like you're just making things up at this point. And this show should almost come to a natural ending.

But since I don't see that happening, I might have to just remove myself. Really quickly, Gord box versus have figs. Which one are you buying? Probably Gord box, but at the same time, I don't see that being like a sustainable year-round product. It would be sustainable for sure. Or like we'd really practice sustainability with...

Carbon off credits. Yeah. Yeah. Is your Wi-Fi fixed? You know it's not, and I can't actually speak to a person. I think the reason why TNT is so successful is because they don't have people. So they just... Yeah, because they're talking to bots all day.

Exactly, the bots. The bots are talking to me. So it's like this bot versus that bot versus the other and stuff like that. It was good to see you though. It was so awesome seeing you guys and I hope that your election goes well. And my election? Let me know how much you wanna invest in to have figs. I feel like you have a lot of walking around cash.

And I'm not even asking for that much. I'm just like, and I'll give you like a big stick. You could have like a quarter steak. A big stick? That's actually not bad in terms of a box that delivers once a month. It's like a big ass Ross. I don't even need that much

and I'll give you a big stick. Speak soft. I'll find a stick in the woods or ahead of the Woods.