The Headgum Podcast - 229: Etiquette (w/ Jacob Dysart!)

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

Johnny and his etiquette coach, Jacob Dysart, join Geoff, Marika, Joel, and Emma in the NY studio to discuss Joel’s quarters, a regrettable song, and play cashew or tattoo!» FOLLOW Jacob on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jacob_dysart/» FOLLOW Johnny on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imprettywack/» FOLLOW Marika on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/marikaelon/» FOLLOW Geoff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/geoffreyjames/» FOLLOW Joel on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joelmandunoff/» FOLLOW Emma on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emmarosefoley/Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HITGUM Original. With Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. Whether you listen to stories, motivation, expert advice, any genre you love, you can be inspired to imagine new worlds, new possibilities, new ways of thinking. And Audible makes it easy to be inspired and entertained as a part of your everyday routine, without needing to set aside extra time. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their ever-growing catalog. Explore themes of friendship, loss, and hope with Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt.

Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Previously on the Headgum Podcast. How old is Mel Brooks? How old is Mel Brooks? Yeah. That's part of the game, you look it up.

90. 90? Is that possible? It's possible. 97. Oh, is that true? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, he's still alive. That's incredible that true? Yeah. He's still alive.

You guys put stakes to this, right? It's cash. Norman Lear. You Googled it. No, I asked someone. I swear to God. Who did you ask? Google? Ane's disqualified for Googling. You're not allowed to be on your phone. Obviously you did. I'm not. Obviously you did.

Well that person, I think Norman Lear recently passed, so that's another reason. He did. And he was. Then it doesn't work. He was literally 101. He was 101. Is it loud for you? Why are you looking at us like that?

It sounds bad, but we all know that. We all know that. It's new to Joel we all know that. We all know that. It's new to Joel, old to us. Now that I've heard it live. Right? We've got to get the energy up, guys.

We've got Johnnyville on the sax, Marika Brownlee on the fax, and nice, your lawyer is returning. Not my lawyer. Well, not just my lawyer. I've increased responsibility now. My etiquette returning, yeah. Not my lawyer. Well, not just my lawyer. I've just increased responsibility now. My etiquette coach, Jacob. Very nicely done, Johnny. Good correction. Nice, polite.

You're doing very well. Hello, Jack. Etiquette coach? Yes, it's true. I'm still Johnny's lawyer. I remain his legal counsel. But, you know, as we were hanging out and just chilling like we like to do I noticed he was

But Slavin, you're pretty rude. Yeah Pretty rude, so I've been giving him some etiquette lessons. We should call it pretty rude industries. Yeah, pretty rude industries Polite laughter even though you're kind of pissed off at what she said. A chortle is great to cut the tension. There's no tension. Yeah, there's no tension. Right well, you guys might have a long way to go. On etiquette, yeah. Emma Foley in the booth and Joel Dunoff because we ran out of chairs.

Because I didn't know your lawyer slash etiquette teacher was coming. That's rather impolite, isn't it? Impolite that you didn't tell me or impolite that I pointed it out. That you pointed it out. No way. Look, it seems like some impoliteness is going both ways. Johnny, you probably should have told Johnny. Jeffrey, excuse. Oh, I'm being rude now. You probably should have told.

You're not a good etiquette teacher. You're not a good lawyer. And I'm sorry if that's rude, but you're still locked into litigation on a myriad of topics, right? It's not chortle worthy. We're just trying to cut the tension, Jeffrey. But thank you for having me.

I hope we can have a very civil, delightful conversation today. Aren't you under investigation for a lot of white collar crimes? Outsider trading you were saying. Yeah. Gulp. Yeah, that's not polite either, right? Swallowing hard?

Surely not. Why don't we move on from that then? Yes, let's... Of course. Bond of the Week. Steven J. Brat Spies, right? Imagine he's the CEO of Haynes. So imagine a Haynes Bond. James Brat.

That was the other thing I was going to say. His last name is Brat Spies, but I like to pronounce it Bratz Spies. Because what if James Bond was Brat? I mean, how awesome would that be? My goodness. Can you imagine? Wow. When they make the next Bond in five years or so, that'll be perfect for them. That was impolite. I thought it was polite.

And I kind of don't really understand what an etiquette coach would be doing in 2024. It feels like that was kind of. You think etiquette doesn't exist anymore? This is where I actually agree with you more than anyone. I think etiquette's still around. See, like Joel is being rude by not

having said anything despite being on the show. That's bad etiquette. That's what I'm saying. There's still etiquette. Yeah. Well, are you not going to say anything the whole time? There's not even a camera on here. You're not even going to bad etiquette. That's what I'm saying. There's no etiquette. Yeah Well, you're not gonna say anything There's not even a camera on here. You're not even going to have the GoPro on?

There's a mic in front of you. You don't have to go like with hand gestures. I swear to God Joel is there Well part of etiquette is scooping is helping someone up when they falter in their own etiquette He's always faltering with his etiquette. See, Geoffrey, now you're getting angry. And that is never the solution to an etiquette problem. Okay, what's the solution to an etiquette problem? He shook his head. Let's coax Joel out of his shell with some compliments.

All right, Joel, I like that you're dressed. He likes that already, so I don't think we need to do it. I don't think we need more compliments because he's already smiling ear to ear. He's already happy about it. I like the think we need more compliments because he's already smiling ear to ear. He's already happy about it. I like the- Is this like the bit that people do on podcasts

where it's like, oh, Drew Barrymore's in the room but she hasn't said anything? Yeah. But Joel is in the room. But with someone who's inconsequential, celebrity-wise, and he's here, perhaps if we give Joel a- A sweatshirt like a fancy sweater.

Yeah, here's my compliment. It looks like you're about to join the university club. What's the university club? You're talking more than Joel and the mic is in front of his mouth. It's not in front of yours at all, Disconcerting. It's like a really fancy schmancy uptown invite only members club or something. Now you're talking, you can't promise. You're smiling and happy about me explaining the university club.

You're like, all right. What a great compliment, Jeff. He's gone back in his shell. It was great. He's gone back. I think we all have a lot we could learn from this etiquette coach right here. Fine, throughout the episode,

if you wanna correct our etiquette, I guess. I just feel like it's a, Let's do that, yeah. It's a bygone career. Could we do like a sample a sample meal setting the table how you pull the chair out? Verbally or physically in the room. I mean that's that that's my bag We could just act it out to teach that's Johnny had a pull a chair Yeah, do you remember last time we ate together? I was a bit slovenly and creeped the waiter I know I've been had a lack of review with you because you're wanted for white-colored crimes.

Yeah. I can't be seen with you. Are you laundering money from Pretty Wack? What's happening? What's the update with... Here I said, Pretty Wack Industries updates. Do you have anything for us? What's happening?

Okay, well... Last time we talked it was a pharmaceutical company or something. You know how Black Rock is betting against nonprofit organizations to fail? Are they? They're shorting nonprofits? Mm-hmm. Well at least we are. We're doing that same exact thing. Blackrock's not doing that because nonprofits don't make profits so they can't have revenue that would pay out dividends to any shareholders. Seems like an amazing bet. So you're... it's an amazing bet because you're betting against them having profits or betting against them having profits and betting on them to fail Significantly, okay, is that was that polite a polite way of describing it?

Well, your hands are folded perfectly Johnny and you're sitting up very straight So that's the rule that you can say anything as long as your posture is fine Well, the rules are a bit more complicated than that. There's a back and forth in conversation. Let's try to exchange some compliments and, you know, let's run through an interaction, right? Okay, yes, let's do that. Well, let's do it between me and Johnny.

This is an example of one of our lessons. Yeah, let's see how this should go in a perfect world. Okay, so Johnny, would you like to greet me? Sure, yeah. That's the beginning of the interaction? Or your second? I'm coaching him through it. Sorry.

I would certainly love to greet you, Jacob. Okay, now go ahead. Let's see what you've got. Hello, Jacob. It's nice to see you. Oh, that's great. A compliment right off the bat. Now, let's see if we can sweeten things up.

Would you... Why don't you offer if you can get something for me? Can I get you anything? Yes, I would love a water. Yeah, I can go get you a water. Well, Johnny's doing that. Jeff, is your coffee from Twitter? Wow.

Yeah, I visited the ex offices in the Palisades in New Jersey and they gave me this dirty water coffee. Oh wow. And they've still got that. Well see this is perfect. Look, look. And now I have a water. Is that etiquette or are you just getting Johnny to do things for you? I thought- They're not mutually exclusive the way I see it. Alright. Does anybody else have any? Yeah, Stephen J. Bratz spies. I thought it would be like James Bond walks out in that like graphic

intro thing with like the spiraling thing. And he's wearing like a crooked skirt made out of tattered rags that kind of shows off his ass in the back. And basically his whole thing in this new iteration of the series would just be about like having fun with his

friends. Nothing more, nothing less. And then when he shoots, the screen goes like Brad Green. He's a party girl. Yeah, exactly right. I could dig that. I don't know how the owner of the Hanes would really... It's like that. Well, he's just playing James Bond as Brad.

When you're explaining this, I'm still picturing Daniel Craig. No, it would be Stephen Jay Right you want to see from more of like a suit guy to more of like a plain white tee guy No, it would be suit up like James Bond from the waist up Charlie XCX from the waist down And she could write the fucking song because they always have like a famous person write the song Yeah, this is Bratz by by the way. I think he brings a certain je ne sais quoi to the role. Well, je le connais. It's that he's white. That's the je ne sais quoi thing. You couldn't put your finger on it, but I've stared at his face all day. That's the something extra,

the sauce that he has. Yeah. Well, now that you say that, I do see it. That he's white, yeah. Sorry, let's just move on. Joel's Quarters. It's a new segment we've been doing, basically. We weren't doing it the last time you were on, but basically we're seeing how many coins people have.

Joel, do you have any coins? Am I allowed to go outside of the studio? It might be tough, because Emma kind of has like boxed you in physically. That's okay. How many coins do you have any coins? Am I allowed to go outside of the studio? It might be tough because Emma kind of has like boxed you in physically. That's okay. How many coins do you have in your person? Zero. This sucks.

All right. So while I'm in Brooklyn, I want to write a novel. It should be said you're leaving in days. I leave on Sunday recording this on Friday. If you're hearing this, I'm already back in LA, but while I'm in Brooklyn, I kind of want to write an entire book and I just need the perfect title So I've been coming up with new novel titles that might be the one wait. Have you considered if you're reading this? I'm already back in LA. That's not bad actually, but that feels like a Joel Donoff joint

I Never want to go to LA So what if the novel was called Jeffreys Brooklyn? What's that? A tree grows in Jeffrey. That's funny. What do you mean though? Don't say that's funny.

No, I'm reading Eve's Hollywood right now by Eve Babitz. And so she's talking about like her upbringing in LA and like all her crazy times in Hollywood. So I'm like, what if I just wrote, what if the novel was just what the past eight weeks have been, bad. Just sort of your coming of age of these eight weeks? I feel like it's been more like growing out of age.

Your coming of grays, you're getting more gray hair due to stress That wasn't polite. No, Johnny. I'm afraid it really wasn't no But I don't think the lightness is good on this show. The show is kind of being it's about being rude almost Do you have a good way of like punishing him like kind of like a dog shot collar or something to like help him stay in line? It's just well, my my rate goes up. Yeah, I can see in his eyes that the rate is going up. But in what increments? Ten dollars an hour.

Thousands. Perhaps is that also kind of a punishment? Like I can't see cash in other people's eyes like you can't like he can in yours. Just say what the rate goes up by. It goes up by God. Yeah. Thousand. Every time he looks in yours. Just say what the rate goes up by. It goes up by- Oh my God. Yeah. Thousand. Every time he looks at me,

oh my God. This is a form of financial domination. Yeah, this is a kink thing almost. You're making him a footstool to you. I'm afraid that's very rude to say, Jeff, but it is funny, so it is appropriate for the podcast. So yeah, is it about always being polite or is it about acting accordingly to the set and setting?

Look, as an etiquette educator, I'm always looking to push myself and just see the frontiers of this evolving discipline. So in a rude environment like this, the etiquette is sometimes mysterious, but I'm excited to map it out. And Johnny and I are doing this together. That was nothing. That was a sentence of nothing. That was absolutely nothing. but I'm excited to map it out. And Johnny and I are doing this together.

That was nothing. That was a sentence of nothing. That was absolutely nothing. That's part of being polite. Is speaking a lot but saying nothing. Guys, what about dating in New York? Right? I wanna get into this relationship.

I think there's something we can go at play. I was going there. Your name is, what's your name, Jacob? Yeah, my name is Jacob, yes. Are you dating anyone? And what do you tell them you do if you are on dates? I'm not currently dating anyone. If I were to date, I would say,

well, the reason I've been correcting so many things that you do is because I'm an etiquette coach. So you- And that's what makes him perfect for this role. If you were on a date, you would say the sentence, the reason why I've been correcting you so much is that I'm an etiquette coach. And that's what makes him perfect for this role. If you were on a date, you would say the sentence, the reason why I've been correcting you so much is that I'm an etiquette coach. So you go into it.

I am assuming that it's not the first thing we talk about because it's rude to talk about what you do right off the bat. What do you mean right? I feel like it's one of the first questions you ask. Let's, okay, let's do another scene. Yeah, it's not. Let's do another scene.

This is a man who knows how to have a conversation and I'm pointing at Jacob by the way you Thank you for coming out of your shell and let's do another scene between you two and Jacob you're playing a first date of Jacob So let's see what you okay, so I'll leave you'll be a date. Yeah What's that I said this is role-playing Marika's horny That's not polite at all. Let's say you are an ad exec and one of your clients is Chili's. Okay. Wait, but I'm on a date?

With this person. Okay. Cool. It's so nice to finally meet you in person. thank you for ordering me a drink. That's very, very polite of you. Yes, a lot of uhs and ums and you could have thanked me before. Immediate, sorry, cut.

That was an immediate correction of her. That's true, yes. I think that's fine. What the hell is going on with Marika? I feel like I'm disassociated. You are. It's not rude to invest in future politeness. It's one of the greatest gifts we can give to others.

We're all works in progress. I would love to be steered in the right direction. All right, sorry to interrupt. Continue. That being said, hello, my name is Jacob. It's great to be on this date with you. What are your deepest passions? Deepest passions, wow.

Well, I work for- Just go on out of your book. But what's that? Just go on out of Jeff's book. Yeah, deepest passion. Well, I love swimming. I used to swim a lot in high school. I was on the swim team.

Ah, yes, the water can be so liberating. A place for our bodies and minds to be free. Was high school fun? Yes. See, this is exactly how it should be going. How a date should be. I guess, there's just this like air of tension where it's like you guys are trying so hard to be polite

that someone's gonna crack. Air of tension, yeah, that's what's going to happen on a date. Actually, air of tension's not a bad novel title. Oh. Guys, what was the last what was the highlight of last week's headgum podcast episode? This is a test.

Probably the average height of everybody in the standing section being huge. That was crazy. Oh, the live. Yeah. Yeah, that will not be released. Oh, I'm sorry. But average height of everyone in the room on last week's episode was just as impressive. Me, Marika, Amir, and Will Conover. I feel like everybody's average.

You all occupied the same level on the animals. In Zoom. Correct. Will's what? 6'2"? Will's taller than you might think. I said 6'2", that's tall. Is that what you think? Yes! What is this episode?

No. Alright, I was gonna say for me it was Will Conover doxing his own address basically. Basically? He said he lived next to a store. Did he cut that out? No. He didn't say to.

He didn't say to. He didn't say to. And you know what? He just said the vague part of Silver Lake that he lives in. We'll take a break. We'll be right back. Oh wow. Right? I have a bone to pick with Casey Donahue, also known as China. I feel like Casey has the shyness touch with studios I feel like studios H He

Soured and so, you know, they all turned at charcoal This one paint is good. Audio tech never works. Is that fair to say and it's not Emma's fault Not Emma's fault. It's Casey's fault because he came in here. Why is no one backing me up on this? This is a takedown of one of our friend friends. It's China. It's Casey's fault, because he came in here. Why is no one backing me up on this? This is a takedown of one of our friends. Friends? It's China. It's so rude, but it is very funny. That's the polite way to laugh.

It's just point out that something was very funny. All I'm saying, last time, last week the studio is working. This week we had to start 47 minutes late. How is that better? But it's working now. Not really. Between us four, five, six. Everyone's eyes are cast down.

I'm just tired. Yeah, that's true. Ultimately like, I mean, I didn't really know if we were coming in to record today. You said you're tired? You were clear about everything. You said you're tired? Yeah. it. You said you're tired. Yeah. OK.

This is the perfect time for you to sing a song. I'm going to text you these lyrics, right? OK. So. If this was a late show, this is a bit late night show. This is a bit that we would end up doing. You the election, if you're listening to this, was on Tuesday, right? This is disgusting. I don't wanna sing this. There's a horrible chance that Vance is our Veep.

And so I thought we could make light of the fear by singing a song from a to be written to be musical called Little Abortion Banny. Oh, God. And this song is It's a Wedlock Life performed by Marika Brownlee. I don't want my name associated with. Well, that's kind of why I wrote the lyrics for you to sing is that your name is associated with it I know that there's a couple things that get for this This is gonna be a new chapter G. Okay ready no

Are you are you refusing to do it or you just don't want to do it? I don't want to do it. Okay, I'm gonna do it. I don't feel like a man can sing this And that's already a bad sound We all agree Um, I also just think it'd be funniest if sung by you. Are you afraid no man is polite enough? No I'm afraid of some of the lyrics I wrote. Yeah Me too I wrote. Yeah, me too. Emma?

I don't want to sing this. Ready? Joel, sing it. Okay, Joel, ready? No. You don't even have a camera man. Here we go. Possible deniability. Oh. Okay, ready? Well, you have to kind of, here, let me screen share. I'll, I'll censor the lines I don't want to sing. What do you mean? Exactly what I said. You'll sing it, but you won't sing the lyrics that you don't want to sing. Yeah, exactly. Okay, ready? It'll be a choir. Ready?

It's a wedlock life for us. It's a wedlock life for us. This is awesome. Already, I started too high. This is so hard to sing if you're not a child. Just take it down an octave. This is the best episode of that podcast ever. It's a wedlock, start the same key. Same key! Same exact key, just go, it's a wedlock life. Yeah.

Wedlock life for us, it's a wedlock life. I can't sing that. Same, I just start to. Fine, you want me to do it? Yeah. All right, just know that this was supposed to be sung by Marika Brownlee, and if any of this is genuinely offensive, we won't air this.

I think it's playful. Can't wait to hear this. Yeah. These lyrics were written by Marika Brownlee. Maybe. These lyrics were written by Marie Cabral. I know. It's a wedlock life for us. It's a wedlock life for us. Instead of fucking, we get wed. Instead of kisses, we get preg.

It's a wedlock life. Don't it feel like Jadies? I don't know this song. Me neither. So how did you write lyrics for it if you don't know the song? Because I was listening to the original cast sing it. Oh. What show is this from?

It's from Little Orphan Annie, but this would be adults not being able to make decisions over their own bodies. And it would be called... It's not called Little Orphan Annie, it's just called Banny. It's Little Abortion Banny. Right. Don't it feel like JD is always, I'll just speak the lyrics. This is a terrible episode. Why are you always using the word Vigene? Yeah.

Also Hen. And Fig sometimes. Here Emma, can you, can you speak the lyrics and just know that Marika wrote them? From where you left off? Uh, the whole thing. So this is from the, the original. It's the wedlock life for us. It's the wedlock life like this Yeah, yeah instead of fucking we get wed instead of kisses

Instead of kisses we get preg. It's the wedlock life. Oh Don't it feel like JD is always howlin don't it seem like Vance has never fucked Let's put Vance's dick inside a cowling, his penis and chastity tucked. That's beautiful. Right, that's pretty good, yeah. Yeah, I don't know what a cowling is. It's like a couch? No, it's a piece of an airplane

that kinda keeps all the luggage in tow. But it would be his luggage. Wow, when did you learn that word? I learned it from RhymeZone.com an hour and a half ago. Great. Governors there when your vagene starts to get Yeast-y, starts to get C-E-S-D, they want you to produce little men,

pregnant belly life, rotten smelly pants, sexually vacant life, marrying guys named Lance. Project 2025, project 2025, what's that? It's good, no one cares for you to grin. When you're a woman, it's the wedlock life. Is this in the musical, different children singing to each other? I don't know.

Okay. Kind of sounded like a conversation. Become a hen to my kids, but don't touch my penis other than to procreate. It's the wedlock life for us. Put doctors in jail. It's the wedlock life for us. One billion dollar bail. Instead of fucking we get wed. Have a veep that's frail. Instead of kisses we get preg. It's the wedlock life.

I'm concerned for our country is what these lyrics mean. I mean this whole thing is Orwellian mayonnaise. Mayonnaise? That's a reference to the bear. Never seen it. I am so glad I'm here today. Because, Jeff, yeah, I think you might need to issue an apology. What?

Live on air, yeah. For what? The lyrics that Marika wrote? Yes. You think they were crass? Yes, you're the host of this show, and whether you... whether Marika wrote the lyrics or not... I didn't. I think you need to take responsibility

and tender a sincere apology to everyone here. I am sorry that this has gone the way it's gone. I think that's sufficient. Yes, for now that'll do. Are you guys, what's the issue with that apology, that I'm not accepting blame on me? I think- Because I do feel like it's Casey's fault.

Well, in a traditionally sound apology, you wouldn't be deflecting blame. And you might try to use rhetoric and oratory to capture the nature of your offense and paint a picture of the emotions that others might've felt. Yeah, that sounds great. Not my offense, not my offense.

But the Trump Vance Project 2025, I feel like I used prose and poetry to describe how bad that would be. Imagine if you're not even getting fucked, you're just getting wed. I think the important thing here is that he didn't just admit to writing the lyrics, so. Okay. As long as we have that on recording. Yeah. Welcome to Tattoo or Cashew. So okay as long as we have that on recording. Yeah, welcome to tattoo or cashew

These are all up close and personal photos of either a cashew or someone's tattoo What do you guys think about this first one? Cashew cashew. I think it'd be fun to do a version of this game where the tattoos were all of people's in the room That's yeah, I guess that's funny You can't hear it, but that's absolutely correct. That was a cashew All right, here we go Obviously scared. Yeah, I was gonna say yeah that might end up being cashew That's a cashew. That's sorry. No tattoo. Okay, it's just they rhyme, so for me to keep them straight is tough.

So slow down when you see them. That was rude! What the hell was that? By the way, you stopped. He called him God. Johnny, the rate's going up. Alright. This next one, what do we think?

Oh, that's a cashew. I really think so. Correct! Sorry, I know yelling is rude. But I was so excited because that's actually a cashew. No. A cashew nut, really. Next. This one's tough.

That's a cashew. Which part of a cashew is that? I think it's a cashew. It's the like, butt of the cashew. It's the ass. think it's a cashew it's like but of the yeah, it's the ass that got it short He got a cashew bottom ass nuts with the Show me cashew and you can't hear the correct because again, yeah Casey came in here He flew from across across the country the cuckoo's nest

Yeah, and he flew over a cuckoo's nest as he came from LA to New York and soured the tech Right it worked two weeks ago now. You can't even hear a correct Cashew, show me cashew. Show me cashew. That was a cashew. Yeah. All right, what do we think? Oh, it's a tattoo. It sucks. It's a tattoo. Well, I want to see the zoomed out pictures

so that I can see the context of the image. Is this getting pissed? He's getting pissed. Who's getting pissed? Yeah, the etiquette teacher. I'm not convinced you have any formal training. Did you go to a fucking, what is it? The society?

He grew up in the South. No, he did not. Yes, I attended several charm schools in the South. He grew up in the South Bay. He's from Long Beach. Which is not the South Bay. It's called Cotillion. Well, yes, I grew up in the South of California

where there's a high value politeness culture. But yes, beneath it all, I'm starting to seethe because of the nature of this game. Because of what's rude about the game? Yes, we can't see this without versions. The game isn't satisfying as a player because my guess, once I make my guess, I don't see what part of the image

intersects with a greater whole. All right. So I can't feel validated in my detective work at all. Tattoo, tattoo, you guys are correct. Tattoo. What? What about this? Oh, I don't know.

Maybe it's a cashew. Whether I'm right or wrong is completely up to you. I have no idea. None of us will ever know. Johnny, you guys. I'm trying to write it, but he's gonna raise his hand. I'm breaking containment right now. I don't know if I can handle this, Jeff. Lawyers also need to be breaking containment. I don't know if I can handle this, Jeff.

Lawyers also need to abide by a certain decorum. Otherwise, they can help and contempt the court. Jeff, you're so loud. You're peaking. I'm peaking. I do feel like I'm in the prime of my life. Yes, you're very cool and handsome. Lawyers need to abide by certain courtroom decorum.

Otherwise, they get held in contempt of court. I think I think you guys need to tap it out so you can calm down. I think that's the only thing that'll calm them down. Sorry. All right. It didn't work. Let's try again. All right. Sorry. Cold as ice. Alright it didn't work. Let's try again. Alright Sorry Cold as ice your hands Jesus Christ that gave me freezer-born burn. Okay, you guys know the burn identity Very rude very rude

Pronunciation and you were like, I know that This is a fucking tattoo. Yeah, correct very good Shading all right. What are you? Oh sorry about that? Don't you guys are reading ahead? What do you think? This is? That's a cash. That's a tattoo almost certainly. That's a cashew nut. Yeah What about this moldy cashew Yeah. Mm-hmm. What about this? This is moldy cashew?

It kind of just looks like blackheads. Yeah. It looks like. It looks like. I think we have to. Yeah, tattoo. Stick with tattoo for sure. It looks raucous.

Wrong. Wrong. That's a cashew. Yeah. Because when they grow on the vine. Yep. And they do grow on vines. They did it.

They kind of end up being this chalky ash color slash taste. They may grow on the vine. Yep. And they do grow on vines. They kind of end up being this chalky ash color slash taste until they're ripe nuts. You're putting emphasis on the wrong words. I thought that was maybe song lyrics or something. Cashew or tatty? Tatty. Tattoo. This is the worst game I've ever created. You're mad because we're doing such a good job. Cashew or tatoo? This is rather difficult. I mean it could be again in that cashew case. Yeah, you said that polite. The last thing

you said before that was you're putting the emphasis on the wrong words very pointedly and without your hands crossed. I was taking a page from Jacob's book taking a paid page you just think you about all the cash that you oh yes what's the invoice gonna be like for this hour or I guess it's rude to talk about money I'm thinking of forgiving it entirely because my outburst was unacceptable I I appreciate that but I still will pay you significant what no way he owned up to the mistake So your value all right Johnny. I've taught you so well. That was the perfect polite response. Do you need any more water? He hasn't even finished this one. He doesn't need another water bottle. It's very polite to offer an insurance water

But no, it's not fine for now. Thank God. That's that's a tattoo yeah all right you guys were incorrect I um cash you or tattoo yeah sure correct definitely cashew yeah okay Okay Oh, did we make it turn our classic movies? Thanks so much for listening to this of except for the Hedwig podcast Is this part of the game no that was the end of the okay? How long have we been going I? Mean only 35 minutes. I'm gonna kill myself. Hello everyone. Welcome to the credits.

And if you're listening to this, I suppose it's after the election, so you must be nostalgic for Halloween, which was a few days prior to that. I have a Halloween novelty rap song that was just released on Bandcamp. I'm featured on the record from the hip-hop group The Laser Pirates so search Halloween novelty song Laser Pirates and you'll be able to find that. Enjoy Halloween. I love you all. And Joel, you had something you wanted to add? Oh yeah, I had one quarter. That was a Hidgum Original.