The Headgum Podcast - 230: Onion Kanevskaya

Episode Date: November 15, 2024

Back in the safe haven of Studio H, Amir, Anya, and Casey join Geoff to discuss Casey’s lollies, Casey’s notes, play J.D. or Nah, and learn about the Macklemore song Same Love!» FOLLOW Geoff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/geoffreyjames/» FOLLOW Amir on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amir/» FOLLOW Casey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caseydonahue/» FOLLOW Anya on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.lovemotel/Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HITGUM Original. With the $5 meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a Mcdouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary for a limited time only. With Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. Whether you listen to stories, motivation, expert advice, any genre you love, you can be inspired to imagine new worlds, new possibilities, new ways of thinking. And Audible makes it easy to be inspired and

entertained as a part of your everyday routine without needing to set aside extra time. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their ever-growing catalog. Explore themes of friendship, loss, and hope with remarkably bright creatures by Shelby Van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial, and your first audiobook is free.

Visit audible.ca to sign up. Previously on the Headgum Podcast. And I did play it because of Squidward. You played Squidward because you like the Squidward. I played a woodwind because of Squidward. Well, it's interesting you bring up music because... It didn't sound like essence at all. No, I'm not agreeing with you. Don't look at me like that.

It didn't even have the same vowel sound. It's interesting that Jeff's talking about music though because he says I take a lot of inspiration from music. When I write, I usually hop back and forth between my laptop and my guitar. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ha! Ha! No! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! You're right. I'm really... To whom it may concern, I'm gonna email. Oh wait, I'm gonna do a sick call. Just give me a minute. It is blushing. Is the show happening already? Yeah, I just hit the theme song, so get ready for whatever this is about to be. Do you want me head bump? No.

No. No. No. We're back in Holly won't. As in, I don't think neither I nor Casey stand a chance against

this liberal, woke, elitist, leftist mob that is holly weird executive levels, right? Like, I can't say anything anymore. I feel like, I feel like people were mad at me for the, it's a wedlock life bit I did last week. I was super nervous about it because I didn't think that Trump was going to win the election. Nobody cared. Yeah. Ultimately, people liked it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Casey? Yeah. ["The Last Week's Episode"] You didn't listen to last week's episode, did you? Of course not. What do you mean, of course not?

I wasn't on it, was I? You only listened to the ones you're on? Yes. The ones you're not on are the ones you should listen to because you don't know what happened. Oh, so I gotta keep up with the lore now? That's part of it. What's your favorite part about last week's episode?

I didn't listen to it. So you failed. You failed yet again, Donna Hugh. Amir? Yeah? What was your favorite part about last week's episode? Bond of the Week. And who was mine?

Don't think of this as like a quiz. Think of it as like you gotta to know the answers for it. Like an exam. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah, test in a way. I think you said Peewee Herman. No, I said, like, James J. Bratspies, which is the CEO of Hanes, because it's like it could be Hanes Bond or whatever,

but it also was Brat Spies. Like, what if James Bond was Brat? Yeah. And so it's like I'm walking out and I'm like... Kind of dated, right? And then it's like, what is it? Yucky Green comes down the side of the screen. That's the name of the color?

It's Brat Green, but before it was called Brat Green, what would you call that? I would call it like Puke Orange. I like Yucky Green. Yuck green is good Well, she also has a song called yuck. Oh, yeah, she's like Actually what it's like yuck is it basically she's like saying that anyone who wants to commit to her that turns her off Hmm. Hmm. Are you live producing while we talk? I see like playing almost like a keyboard That's what I do

That's why I started sitting behind the producers desk cuz I could live edit and then I wouldn't have to edit as much later Interesting and it's that intuitive. You're not even thinking about it. I can kind of well I have one camera on you Yeah, I have one on slash bond me and then I want Casey. I'll give two on me No, I have one on you and then there's another one on a different thing You have no wide shot not for this episode for now, it just has to do with, we need Anya in here. That was what the first thing on the episode was gonna be about that, and I really need Anya in here.

She's in a meeting. She's in a meeting with and by the way, she wore a, I don't know if that's like a pun for, but she's not gonna get it. And even if she did, she wouldn't like it. Yeah. We do have a lot to get to.

I don't know if I wanna to waste it all can we do? Segment at the end or the next to build on the first one, okay, which has never happened in this This is never happened. That's what makes it kind of exciting right right? Yeah, or are you worried? It's gonna like break precedent and not be funny I'm worried that we're waiting for Anya when we could just go to segment two and three and then go back to the Anya episode I'm open to that. My guess is it takes some convincing segment one is like a 35 minute segment and then two or three or like no, it's really it's more of a talking point than a segment I have full segments for later. We could just start them now. Yeah, okay

Thank God I was not here for this. My Bond of the Week is Dax Flame. You remember this guy from 21 Jump Street? Yeah. So it's like Dax Flame's Bond or whatever the fuck. But also imagine a Bond so shy and ill spokenspoken that he gets rejected by the bond girl That's never happened in a James. No. Yeah, that's a night. That's an interesting take on like imagine him like swinging and failing Yeah missing Swing and a miss is what I meant. Yeah, that's what you just did. That's what I meant to say and I didn't I'm saying

he sidles up to Alas, right? And she's interested at first, but then he speaks so stuttered and bad and off that he strikes out. That would be kind of interesting, especially because he's such a spy. Like a Jesse Eisenberg style. Like Dax Flame.

Yeah, I'm saying what else? Just in case people don't know who Dax Flame is. case people don't know who Dax flame is if people don't know who Dax is they shouldn't listen to turn turn the show off and you know that flame and before the ad break I would say our viewership would plummet the week or can we just get this over with or do you guys want to go to Musso and Frank's after this I could go to Musso and Frank's after this? I could go to Musso and Frank's after this. I mean, it's pretty early. You suggested it. Yeah, but then, you know, I just say stuff,

but then I start to realize, oh, this is reality. When the Hollywood power lunches happen. Yeah, the two martini lunch. Musso and Frank's, yeah. Which I don't know how anybody did that and drove, let alone closed deals. Yeah. Right? I mean, imagine having two martinis and then going back to work. There's no way. It's like madmen. Yeah in this office

It's just madman, which is Me I'll say Phil Ivey. He's a professional poker player, but pretty smooth. So you think he could handle his liquor His gambling and his guns yes okay Casey let's go with Mikey Madison from an aura I haven't seen an or yet I've heard it's amazing fantastic I think she'd make a great James Bond that's really cool and progressive. Did you say cable? Did I say cable? Did you say the word cable? No

Amir you didn't say cable. I could have sworn I heard Because it's the word of the day really yeah, I know but I haven't said it no one says said it yet Said what the word of the word of the day which is not sure you say you're not sure I think it's a wire it is ultimately cable yeah ah let's take it into Casey's lollies right so we've been doing this segment where it's like oh how many coins does Casey have, right? Yeah. You clearly don't carry around cash or change. I've got cash.

Really? Yeah. Okay. Well, it should have been Casey's dollars, but instead it's Casey's lollies. How many sweets do you have with you? On my person? Yeah. I have no sweets on me. Okay, in your bag. I

Have a couple I'm really trying to get to the center of the shit, but I think I have like a couple of Greek alas in my backpack Amir do you think that counts? It's okay to look at me by the way Sometimes when people shut down and feel like attacked or like uncomfortable around somebody, they avoid eye contact with them specifically. I feel like that's maybe what's happening.

By pointing it out, I think I make the energy more comfortable in the room. And you're still kind of staring off in those bangs. I'm thinking about Tootsie Roll Pops. Because they were so everywhere when I was like in elementary school. Deflecting a little. Haven't seen them since right I was gonna say Correct me if I'm wrong

But some of the rappers had a star on them and then you get like a free tootsie roll pop if you found that one Or is what I've heard but I've never seen anyone take the rapper and take where do you go to get company to get their free? Tootsie pop you think that's what that's true. I think it was kids were full of shit. Yeah, they just lied They were just lying, but then some did and some didn't have stars. I think Yeah, but I think that's you know there's the pattern and they just like kind of cut Yeah, and into the individual where I was of course some of them would not yeah going off of this I kind of feel like chocolate doesn't belong in the middle of it. Yeah I never had that because I didn't like chocolate that much growing up

I'm like I don't want this chocolate in the middle of a lot of not chocolate. It's like chemical chocolate imitation Yeah, it's like orange drink because you can't call it orange soda like racist pieces not actual chocolate or peanut butter you right Yeah, it's just chemicals. It's just like two sludges that are dyed different shades of brown. Yeah What do you have against chemicals? I didn't say anything against chemicals. You said something. I think I might have said some disparaging comments about chemicals, about the formulas of these sweets and lollies really, because I don't find them to be natural feeling. That's why I like dark chocolate. Have you ever had Ritter Sport?

Sorry, I'm gonna one more time. I'm drunk. Have you ever had Ritter Sport? Ritter Sport Remember the chocolates that were in the shape of liqueur bottles that did have a little bit of alcohol That's interesting, but let me just did they have alcohol in them. I don't know I never had one because I think they do but it's like a negligible amount Really and then what's the liquor in the fucking bottle? There's a bunch of different stuff. I know you can do there's like Grand Marnier ones right mm-hmm give to kids I don't know if they give them

I know you don't need to get you don't get carted trying to buy them But I don't think they encourage kids to have them well when you say they you mean the Dems right right so Casey before we were Recording was saying that we need a liberal Joe Rogan I'm saying there's a there's a window of opportunity a lot of people have been talking about it this week that there needs This is a because you kind of said I'm not saying it should be me you were you kind of said it like you're like now's Our chance let's do it on this episode In little chocolate bottles it was interesting It's not interesting. I'm just saying it's not slamming the the the the conservatives

Oh, I don't think I don't think the move is to slam the conservatives you want you want to learn the man Yeah, you want to come over we're talking about chocolate with the with alcohol in it Well, are you worried by even well chocolate is like a most primarily Central American export So I feel like it's not good to bring up if you want the conservatives to be interested in it That's a good point, so we shouldn't talk about chocolate. I just think they're gonna It's gonna be like it's gonna make them think of Guatemala and Ethiopia, and they're gonna start hissing and getting upset Yeah, I mean it's sort of the liberal Joe Rogan already. It's just not popular. What is it? What is Jeff? Oh? Because I Like you couldn't do a lot of ill research already is just not popular. What is what is Jeff? Oh, because I like you couldn't do a lot of ill research and do a three hour

interview with like Nancy Pelosi. I don't think she would be able to stand me. Yeah, I agree. Really? But I think that would well, I just be a good look for the conservatives that we're trying to

get over. That's true. But I'm also nervous that she's going to recognize me from when I tried to break into her house. That was you? Uh, we have to take a quick break. Okay. And, uh... We'll get back to that.

Yeah, we'll drop it during the break, I think. Okay. Hahaha! Okay. Okay. Haha. Oh, hi. Oh, yeah. We're back. Can you imagine if we waited for Anya? We would still be waiting.

Yeah, it's pretty, I mean, look, I know that she's in the room over there with the and. Yeah, you do know that. I know that. Can you constantly say it? Well, I don't know why they came in person for a meeting it could have been a zoom the whole line I'm gonna see the studio. They wanted to tour the studio. Yeah, okay. Well, that's interesting I

Love finding out Last minute about the goings-on of this network right you walked in you said business is booming. There's no way that's true Not this business, but the stock market. Yeah, Casey do you have a vanguard? Do you have like an index fund that you contribute to every month? I have an acorns account Okay, so is that like I thought that was like a credit union for students to build credit No, it like takes my change and a monthly, not stipend, but amount that I put into it, and it puts into ETS.

It wasn't what I said, that's all you need to say. Jesus Christ. I'm trying to answer a question. This is a podcast, we're opening it up to conversation. No, we can open it up to conversation, not dominating the discourse and making it all the Casey show, right? So if I speak for 10 seconds, I'm dominating the discourse.

You're making it the Casey show. It's the China hour to you. Guys, post-election thoughts. I mean, it was a wild night. It was a wash. We're recording this only a week since it happened and it feels like it's been a month. A year, yeah, it's a wild night. It was a wash. We're recording this only a week since it happened. It feels like it's been a year Yeah, it's a different country I mean the thing for me is that I feel like it it revealed what's always been there, right?

Which is a slow transitioning to the right by literally every state in America By like three or four percent. Yeah, that's always happened But every state voted more for Trump this election than the last except for maybe Washington I think people voted based on vibe and nothing else and they're just like well I don't like how my wallet feels right now. Yeah, and so um inflation and immigration. I guess is what they say On you just walked over and was like Yeah, like I was like sorry. I can I cannot there's nothing I could do It was all was it is it half an hour late at this point or a little under 25

Yeah, if I had to guess she extended the meeting herself cuz she yeah making small talk Though it's less time she has to spend doing this. It's I did hear like what else what else coming out of? Yeah, and then I heard I think I heard you go. Oh, I think we could wrap this up Oh, I wanted to ask you guys. Yeah, I was on yeah, that was on Yeah, I feel like she furthered the conversation yeah out of more I mean I agree with you that she was the one and the reason why I went over by half an hour I think it was more because she was genuinely enjoying herself. I don't think it was an avoidance of this show Oh, yeah, well she was enjoying herself because she wasn't doing this. I just don't like

Positioning and I as opposites, right? So What happened to the show right? Yes, I feel like it used to be like a supportive environment. We used to yes and each other now we know but Well two minutes ago you asked Casey to stop talking because he was turning into the Casey show. The China hour. Yeah.

So that was you saying no, but and you're asking what happened to the show. I was saying no. And that's the difference between us three, right? You guys shut me down. I lift you up by shutting you down. Okay. Okay. Um, I feel like the only thing that we can do politically is succeed

But let's get literally all What's the alternative well the GDP of California is like the seventh highest in the world But even it was California is trending red so there's nowhere to like hide Sort of everywhere Looks like Nobody's talking about that. But George Gaston, one of the most progressive and successful DAs in Los Angeles County history, got replaced by a Republican in sheep's clothing. The sheep's clothing being one of those California conservatives who are also California kind.

Hey, zero! Da da da, da da da da da da da da da did it is on how many green snacks are you holding we got the smoothie we got the la croix we got their all green the stash you know the green chair into the mic I thought you guys would be waiting for me like I'm not that late I wanted to wait and Jeff had a hard actually no I have the whole day mere kept saying can we just start? Can we just start he said there? How many segments do you have I said vaguely two or three and he was like why don't we just start with the latter three?

And we'll work our way back to the one that onion so how many have you done zero? We've done we've been waxing which is on Casey's lollies It's how many sweets does Donna you have? Let me ask you some questions that we needed. How many did you have? We needed a tie breaker. I said I had some. He said he might have a Ricola.

I had some Ricolas in my backpack and we never decided that's a sweet or not. Does that count as a sweet or not? No. Okay, secondly. Of course not. It's a cough drop. Do you remember Tootsie Roll Pop rappers, some of them having a star? A star with a cowboy. So what did the star indicate in your part of the world?

I think it was like, good luck? No. Or you get a free lollipop? That's what I heard. You get a free lollipop. I think this is just kids lying to each other. I think that was kids lying to each other. You never got a free lollipop.

Third one. Do you remember chocolates with like little liqueur in them? A little liqueur? Like liquor in the middle of the chocolate. Like a cherry? It was like a water bottle. A little chocolate bottle. Yeah, chocolate bottle. And then inside is like a drop. middle of the cherry. It was like a, it was like a little chocolate water bottle. Yeah.

Chocolate. And then inside is like a drop of like a, almost red wine or something. Sorry. Didn't happen. Pornography might be illegal in like six months. And we're talking about liquor in chocolate bottles. Pornography might be illegal.

That's part of project 2025. Okay. So Trump already said that he doesn't actually know what Project 2025 is and that they won't actually happen. Do you not believe them? Is this the first time you brought up the election? We haven't recorded since the election. So are you recording now? Yeah. My microphone also? That's huge. I Grew up are you recording video? It doesn't look like you are holy shit. Oh my god. Yeah, it's not even a hard drive plugged in there

It's actually you were right, but it's really offensive for you to ask if Jeff was recording video You were right, but it's really offensive for you to ask if Jeff was recording video We did need to give him that but like it shouldn't have happened I asked him about the cameras because look at what's happening over here It's insane point this way is what I was saying and now and he said I have everything under control This is how I was also producing a lot like changing camera angles So many buttons. In vain. That's so cool.

In vainer. We also talked about going to Musso and Frank's at some point. I would love to. I was just talking about Musso and Frank's. Right. So I don't know why it's all about how I forgot to record the video for the first 20 minutes, right? Should I start over? Should we do the green bit again? Green bit. If you want to hold up your green snacks, you have a green juice, you have a green La Croix, you have pistachios.

But which camera? All of them are pointed at Casey. No. None of them are pointed at. One of them is on you and Casey, and then the other one is... A one shot. What we needed to talk about once Anya got here. Is it pointed at the curtain?

For years. I've been saying that this studio would have been maybe more beautiful, more conducive to the video if it was a cola, if it was a chine green. Everyone spearheaded by Anya would say, no, it's fine as is, charcoal works for camera. Like people's skin tone pops or whatever. That's cola. that's cola that's that's cola and your browns are chine green it doesn't work it's brown on charcoal like what are we doing yeah so what you're saying is cola is a bad color and we

shouldn't have done it no it all would have worked if it was Cola I mean it is fucking beige sound things right the wood backdrop And now the brown curtain so you think it should have been brown beige and more brown the brown curtain is also what? Marty was calling it when Johnny, and I both worked at have go at the same time That's really funny. The Brad curtain clashes, dude! Exactly. This would have been way funnier if the cameras still weren't recording. I know.

Thank God, by the way. It's fine. I get that it's fine. This was a placeholder curtain. What's it eventually going to be? Ideally, we're're gonna have like, The curtains are not in frame are they? They're not usually in frame, unless you set the camera like this.

Yeah, unless you point, instead of a two, instead of a wide shot of everyone sitting on the set, it's a camera that's on. Right, but the first 20 minutes weren't even recorded. Yeah, the curtain. We're gonna have like blinds kind of, which will be nicer. Okay, so I can kind of look at them like a private eye?

This, yeah, this is a work in progress studio, but we're not taking feedback from you or the listeners the studios are a living organism That's right. Mm-hmm Constantly changing and evolving New York nothing worked tech wise and we worked we had to start 50 minutes late. I wasn't there I think I already flew back here. What you did and I say something flew in and it's not true I don't know everything works in the studio and you still fuck it up. So what does it matter? God I'm not sorry. I'm not feeling great today drop. Is it the smoothie or the that's actually gonna undo it

This I don't know. I'm just thirsty. That's all true But we got it in New York. We spent an hour and we couldn't even get it. Oh They should make me bi-coastal. I've been saying this I've been saying this the New York people want me there Mmm, they want you on that wall They will say also New York the only city What are we all doing even? What do you mean? Well, New York doesn't have Muso and Frank's let alone Bordnors Borders what's that? Romans I said

Bordnors bookstore. Yeah, do you mean Borders books? No, he knows Bordeners in Holly weird. Yeah, it's in Holly We would you do for your birthday? So um I got sick. We should say yeah, I don't feel great But that's from the travel back. I think no you're contagious and you're in the room No, I don't think I'm contagious, but you are in the room I am think is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that center. I'm okay. But you were back east for three-year birthday? Yeah, I was upstate. You were looking at real estate? Upstate New York.

Rentals that you might move to if they move you to the New York studios to fix what you did, what you did on purpose so that they would move you to New York to fix it? That's actually a good strategy I haven't thought of. We should break more things in the New York studio so that we have to be by coastal. There's a baseball bat, and also Joel never takes his fucking bike off the wall I hit my head against the bike there you go I Went I went I walked around my favorite town ate at some of my favorite restaurants I had a gluten-free burger, and then I had oysters for dessert Oysters for dessert you know that oysters are just a multivitamin really it's like everything you need in one little shell plus

That's right if you're lucky some Walters wash etc Onion in sort of a savory ponzu Yeah shallot sauce on an oyster is that makes sense no Onion zero that's really good Onion can of sky you know that that's, I had a friend that I made when I was little at the laundromat and the first time,

like we would both go there while our parents were doing laundry and the first time I met him, he thought my name was Onion and I was too embarrassed to correct him. So he called me Onion for our entire friendship. I was a very shy, strange child. Imagine you coming in with a casserole

out of like friends giving potluck, and they're like, what'd you make? And you say onion kind of scaya. What would that? What would that dish be to you? It's a casserole, it's like an onion based, it's like a French onion soup baked. Yeah.

That's an idea. Not terrible. What are you doing for Thanksgiving? My family's coming down, so I think we're gonna spend it in the valley at my parents' house. Classic. Classic.

My birthday's on Thanksgiving. You guys aren't going to come to Brussels. Excuse me, we're having a conversation. Sorry. Yeah, uninvited. You just got uninvited from Jeff's Thanksgiving. You're right. I wasn't going to go.

Do you think he'll prepare anything for it? Or do you think it'll prepare anything for it? Or do you think it'll be kind of last minute, he's throwing together some dishes? He's throwing dishes. Yeah. Do you think he's gonna prepare food for it or do you think he's gonna throw plates around?

Because he forgot to cook. Plates are empty. That's exactly what I think would happen at Jeff's giving. Jeff's giving, yeah, exactly. Your birthday is on Thanksgiving this year? This year it is, yeah., by the way Jeff's giving and then the theme is the c-word Jeff's giving cunt exactly right and you're hosting yourself last share. I'm between the two slash share giving share Okay Okay.

Are you going home, Casey? I am going to Florida for Thanksgiving. Wow, a Florida Thanksgiving. Yeah. Classic. It's, I mean, like pretty much every Thanksgiving is a Florida Thanksgiving for me. Because that's where you're from? Yeah, it's where my family lives and the Airplay thing is on the screen.

Are you gonna stay in LA since you were just traveling yeah? Which is fine yeah, it's hard to travel on Thanksgiving an onion kind of With your family for a week. I was we did it we got it done. Yeah, no need to see them again Yeah, I think it's not important to us. It's good because Thanksgiving is a difficult travel day exactly stay at home It's good because Thanksgiving is a difficult travel day exactly stay at home exactly That's a great point. I'm traveling before Thanksgiving looks good, but that whole week is a fucking shit show Yeah, welcome to a brand new ass segment as hell a what a brand new segment as hell life unlimited Casey You are a director. Is that fair to say right that's don't make her ordinary I was gonna put Jeff in the movie, but I guess not anymore. That's not I said extraordinary

The one thing the one thing you prepared for the show I sent an email telling people how to properly use this equipment, and now I'm learning. It works when you have time. It doesn't work when you're on the fucking fly like this. Anya was 25 minutes late, right? Had an important meeting.

With who? Really good. With who? Can't say, but it'll be exciting. We already have a lot. Jeff can't stop saying it. Luckily, he'll cut that and it's not on video anyway. This is a new... Oh my God! Is the GoPro on?

The GoPro is on. Can I introduce the segment or do you guys want a gab? I have one last question about the cameras. Fine. What will the YouTube video show when you weren't recording for the first 20 minutes? Hopefully an animated version of your conversation. That's funny.

That'd be awesome. I wish you could do that. Or it could be AI can. Yeah, maybe a couple AI things of like, this is what Casey Donohue would look like if blank, this is what Amir would look like riding a fucking horse. That's cool, I don't think AI does individuals like that, but yeah, it could be interesting.

All right, here we go. This is a new segment where I'm gonna, it's called Casey's Notes, right? Everything is Casey's something. Casey's dollars, right? Everything is Casey's something. It's Casey's dollars, Casey's coins, Casey's lollies. Casey's lollies. Next week's gonna be Casey's follies. And then what is this, Casey's?

This is Casey's Notes. Casey's Notes. Casey's a director and filmmaker, extraordinaire. Thank you. And this is a new segment where periodically I'm just gonna bring in things that I've found in life, come across, shorts, commercials in life, come across shorts, commercials, movies, clips, segments, whatever. And that I think is flawed.

And we're gonna get Casey's notes on what he would have done to fix it. This is a commercial for Spectrum. And let's just check this out. And I always do. And this is the one that Anya had to be here for nope That was the chime green thing or whatever Is this the ad or this is a free roll this is this is the ad I'm sure I can see yeah, thank you

To be pushed if every single drop of potential could be the center of everywhere, and boundaries only existed to be pushed, if every single drop of potential could be made real. So the only limit you faced was how big you could dream. Let's say you knew there were like almost 100,000 people across the country, right in your town, committed to making it happen. Every day. What would you do then? Some pretty cool stuff, I bet. Committed to making that happen. Every day. Always with your dad. Some pretty cool stuff, I bet.

Yeah, that'd be some life. That'd be life unlimited. All right. Fine. Oh, Spectrum. Okay. where's company that exists That was that's awful. It's an awful commercial. Yeah, that was really bad He's just like he keeps saying everything with the same exact cadence, and he's just like what would you do if you could dream a lot? Some pretty awesome shit. I bet it was kind of like a salad. He wasn't really saying anything

I bet it was kind of like a salad. He wasn't really saying anything Little fucker on the show because I think he takes after his old man. That's your son You guys are the same age Okay, so you're you read for this and you didn't get it that's's why you have endetic? I'm fucking pissed, yeah. Because you can't ride a bike. Or a slam. I said we could fucking fly on a trike. And you could CGI the fucking training wheels off the bench. You have training wheels on a tricycle?

Yes, there's five wheels for extra security. I'm fucking nervous on this shit. Catch me in Frogtown and I'm like falling into the LA River. Oh. Falling into car photo shoots happening down in the concrete basin. Oh! Wheels side by side.

No, that was awful, the inspirational music. For internet? Yeah, I don't know what their thesis is that they're trying to. Well, is like oh like if you're unlimited Yeah, what does that mean? What would you do if you didn't have any boundaries exactly some pretty cool stuff? I bet nothing to do with the internet That's my boy they want you to get outside and be off the internet the copies bad the acting's bad I think I think the ad was trying to say you could get the internet anywhere

So you don't need it when you're like jumping into a into a they're saying you can't what if you could have it then it just so clearly was blue skies by a room full of like 70 year old bad ad because I think they're like they're playing off of like stand by me with like the fucking bikes and like a group of tweens riding trikes hither than thither on a bridge I'm like Jeff doesn't know what it's like to be a child or have friends Nobody rides bikes over bridges as a kid anymore. No, they're playing fortnight and shit Unfortunately, I think he's right And they're watching skibbity toilet. Yeah, what is skibbity toilet? That's a show is I think that's the yeah

I think it's gonna be a movie. What do you mean? I think I hate the entertainment I think it's be it's being made into a movie. What do you mean? I think. I hate the entertainment. I think it's being made into a movie produced by Michael Bay. I swear to God. Michael Bay, if he was smart, would make a branded content a la movie a la Barbie for Old Bay. If he was smart? Yep. I said what I said

What is skibbidi toilet explain it to me like I'm I actually don't think there's a way for us to understand because we're too old It's like it's really only a computer animated thing There's a head in the toilet. Okay, it's made by Russian. Oh, yeah. I heard people saying it like to kids in New York My friends in Ohio, what is skibbidi? It's father. That's my friends at, my friends at teacher. Skibbity, Ohio. What is Skibbity? It's just like the name of this thing, but now like. It's like, I'll say it, I'll say it, I'll say it,

I'll say it, I'll say it. It's basically. 70 Sam. Who? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. But they're like banning it, like you can't say it in schools

because kids are saying it so much. Skibbity is essentially peanut butter jelly time. So I don't think, I think a mirror's too old for that. It's LL random. It's the sauce. It's randomir's too old for that. It's L.L. random. It's random sauce, it's weak sauce, it's M.O.M.G. L.M.F.A.O. Raffle Doctor, yeah. It's so skivity. You know what I mean?

Like it's obviously, yeah, like why are you guys not enjoying this? Enjoying. And what? Got em! You didn't hear it either time. No. Sorry, I'm sorry. But you did say it funny.

Oh my God. Plotting to kill me. So do you want notes on how to make that better? You've done quite enough with the commercial. Wow. So we're just abandoning it. I think you got what you wanted. You said it was bad. And it's okay that you didn't get it.

Well that is eight million views. Welcome to JD or not. These are quotes from Vance or they're not. You know Vance is younger than me. Yeah I buy that. So the president. Potentially is really close to being younger than I am. Because you think Trump's going to have a cardiac event or what?

I mean, I didn't say that, but he does run on Duncan. And he's what, 79? I wouldn't say there's a 0% chance he makes it to 82. Or Anya somehow gets that invite to the White House and you bring an onion zero or whatever the fuck that has a little too much of that shit in it. Yeah, that sauce. I think out of everyone here,

you're most likely to get invited to Trump's White House. Because of the Russian thing? The Russian thing, yeah. He loves you. I don't think so, because Jewish. Of the Jewish thing. Yeah. He loves the Jews!

No, he doesn't. I'm neutral at best. Okay. Here we go, ready? You guys just, it's not a game, just. Oh, okay. This is a little bit depressing for the record, but okay Mr.. Trump is unfit for our nation's highest office true true. He said that yeah He said that he obviously did say that and that was just last week

Yeah, crazy how little it matters that was before they won, Florida He's playing both sides Trump talks like my dad sitting around the dinner table I'm playing both sides. Trump talks like my dad sitting around the dinner table. True. Vance. Vance. It's Vance or nah.

It's Vance or nah, sorry. Sorry. I'll say nah, because it was kind of a boring statement. Sorry, it's JD or nah. Oh, nah. So I say JD. JD. All right, it starts to get a little harder.

Are you gonna give us the answer? Yeah, what's the answer? Oh, the first two were JD. Okay. Vance, really. Yeah. But it does get hard because a lot of this is taken from Hillbilly Elegy and he contradicts himself all the time.

You read that? I read snippets enough to make the game. I didn't read the book. Holy shit, he read the book. He read a book? How is the movie Hillbilly Elegy? That's the book you chose to read? I think horrible, and it tanked Amy Adams' career.

What did? The movie. They made a movie of Hillbilly Elegy? Yeah. I think it got a couple Oscar nominations. I think Vance has a EGOT. Wow. Cause he wrote In the Heights.

What did he get the Tony for? In the Heights. He got choreography. He did choreographer In the Heights? For that one Blackout song, yeah. There's no way. Yeah. He did choreo in the Heights for that one blackout song. Yeah, there's no way. Yeah, he did choreo For her in the Heights, which was a musical that came out in like 2005

Yeah, and he would have been like 21 It's exactly the age where you make choreo for musicals. I Don't know what I did Tanya. I Think you started the episode without her and you did you pointed a camera? At the curtain that I like to keep off camera and then... It looks not ideal. ...chastised you. Even if we had gotten black ones, it would have looked better. Don't look at me.

We did have black ones at first and it looked worse. That's what I was going to say. And then he won the Grammy for... In the Heights album? No, it was Despacito. He was on Despacito? He was one of the writers. That's crazy. Yeah, the Spanish part.

That makes sense. He had a public stream deal with Crush music. So he wrote on the late Hispanic at the Disco album for some reason. That one actually does make sense. And then the Emmy was for his debate performance because he absolutely destroyed what's his face. Can't even remember now. Doesn't matter. He's gone. Yeah. Lost to the anals of history. Nice. Yeah. You have another one?

Yeah, can we move on? Okay. Or do you want to keep making jokes about anal? Desperado, this is how we do it down in El Dorado. That was awful. Okay. I got bullied at Yale worse than Haley Joel Osment was in Pay It Forward. The difference was I made it out alive.

The Democrats lack that kind of resilience. JD. Nah. Nah. That was nah. Did you just make that up? Yeah. You thought he actually said that? I don't know, he's an idiot.

More than Haley Joel Osmond in Pay It Forward? Right, you're right, that's amazing. He said some crazy stuff in that book though, no? The couch thing? Yeah. What separates the successful from the unsuccessful are the expectations that they had for their own lives. Yet the message of the right is increasingly, it's not your fault that you're a loser, it's the government's fault. That sounds like Vance. JD. It's not your fault that you're a loser. It's the government's fault That sounds like Vance JD Because it wasn't funny

Neither are you I didn't know that That's why it's hard that's why it's good hard I am four for four and I will guarantee JD said that one. Show me JD. That was JD. Those pants, yeah, of course. Sounds like something Trump would say, to be honest. Thank you. When I was in the third- The haters and the losers of it all. Sorry, I'm so sorry.

No, I'm sorry. When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was gay. That's it. Cause I could draw. Then I realized being gay was the worst thing a man could be, so I started hating women instead. That's a nah. The beginning of it is a Macklemore song.

I don't know if you took it from someone. That's a nah because I feel like that quote would have come up at some point in the election. That's a nah. that's not I think I should have gay marriage You don't know same love by Macklemore no and that lady who sings the chorus I really don't know my love my love my love she keeps me warm She keeps me warm What? popular song at the time

When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was gay no way What you're going through is what we all went through years ago Ben you've loved girls since before pre-k Don't worry. You're not gay This is a song about how he's not gay, but he's like, I think I know what it's like. The chorus is actually pretty good. It's a lady singer. What's her name? I've already forget. This is like the Democratic anthem.

This is why they lost. You want to hear the whole thing? I want to hear the chorus. Oh, because it's about gay marriage. Was this after gay marriage was legalized? Or before? I think it was like 2013. Even if I try.

Even if I try. I'm glad I've never heard this. I wish I'd never knew. Yeah. Looks like you're on the phone with Macklemore right now. Keep playing. I actually really like it. I don't think he should have done this song.

I thought he just did a fun little song about shopping. No, he had a whole album. Oh, I've heard that. This is after that. Oh, you did hear that. I know that part, She Keeps Me Warm. I didn't know it was about gay marriage. She didn't recognize it when I sing it.

You didn't sing it good. You didn't think that good. Sorry. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't like that. All right. Ready? Yeah. I didn't write Hillbilly Elegy because I've accomplished extraordinary. I wrote this book because I've achieved something quite ordinary. Now, this is the first one I'm really on the fence about But I feel like it's got to be Vance. It was too boring. Although he did just make an extraordinary and ordinary joke early

I know that was that was the start to the segment So maybe not that start but the start to your toes a lot of those for those notes. Yeah So maybe Casey director or maybe Jeff did write that it's really good actually So I'll say Jeff can't catch on it's gonna ruin everything China is fine China is such a cool nickname. I'll never seen I think they're eating the dogs they eat the cats and they're eating the dogs and they're eating the cats and they're eating the dogs and they're eating the cats and they're eating the dogs

and they're eating the cats and they're eating the dogs and they're eating the cats and they're eating the cats and they're eating the dogs and they're eating the cats and they're eating the cats and they're never seen I think they're eating the dogs They eat the cats they're eating the dogs. Oh, that's even better Pretty good. They're just different versions of dog. Oh yours was bad. Yeah, Casey sounded like Trump. Okay. Yours was sort of Al Pacino They're eating the dogs Really? They're eating the dogs! They're eating the dogs! That's really good. That's an even better Pacino.

Casey should do SML. That's crazy. That's Casey. Maybe I'll give it a shot. Why don't you direct to Digital Shorts? Okay, I'll do one and see what they think. Yeah. Alright. That's not how they hire.

Just been banging on. All you know is how they don't hire though. Got him. All right. Never was the cultural divide. This one's long, but it's from his book. I'm going to say JD then. Well, just listen to it.

Yeah, I'm going to say JD also. Never was the cultural divide between working class white folks and the Northeastern elite clearer to me than when I went, when I spent one Thanksgiving with a Yale friends family in Massachusetts. Where I come from Thanksgiving dinner usually consists of some deli turkey and a side of sauce. By contrast, my friends family served Cornish game hen on a bed of leaves, candied yams with praline drizzle, savory black pie made in the Dutch tradition, garish ham with a pecan drizzle, diplomat's pudding, and about 12 other sides that I couldn't help but fathom.

Instead of doing an uncle-off, which is where elder generation brothers fight to the death, they watched football and read off Conversation starters in that moment. I was proud to come from a steel town trash family at least we have sauce It's so funny that as soon as you started describing food. We knew Turkey with a side of saw. That was Vance. Really?

No way. You had me at Uncle Off. That's when you jacked off your uncle. Jesus. Thank God **** was gone. Because otherwise if he had heard that joke, he would have changed his whole opinion of you pass the meeting Can you pass the meeting Not every town can or should be saved

No JD JD. JD. Vance. Yeah. That was Vance. Good guy. Which town is he from? Get him an office. I don't know what context that was said.

Doesn't matter. All right, last one. Where does he live? In the White House, right? I know. DC soon enough. Yeah, but before that. Well, the VP lives in the VP mansion, so not the White House. Ohio's where Jeff Ohio's where yeah, but I think it would be funnier if the VP was roommates with the Pete

Yeah, what's your near you in Ohio? No? He was in like southern, Ohio near Cincinnati. I think What does that mean like me? What's the worst borderline, Kentucky? Yeah borderline? Thank God my meemaw and Peepa died in their sleep because if they had lived much longer, they would have had simultaneous cardiac events when they met my brown wife. No. Can I recommend Mima and Peepa died in their sleep?

You can recommend it. But Vance said it. But Vance recommend it. But Vance said it. But Vance said it. You can't change what Vance said. How does JD do? JD do. That's not JD, that's GJ. Really good. GJ Vance.

What's your middle name? Aaron. Jaj. Yeah. I setJ. Vance. What's your middle name? Aaron. Jaj. Yeah. I set this to a mirror. I had a DoorDash delivery driver with the name Vagina K. No. His name was Vaginak.

It wasn't Vagina. You can't be making fun of this man's name. I think I'm the only one in the room who can. Vaginak. Vaginak. That's crazy. Well you did order pussy from Salazar. What did you expect?

I'm obviously kidding. He had like, what was it, like enchiladas or something? Yeah, it was like garish hen with like the cornish fashion and the Dutch diplomats pudding, etc. Dipl diplomats pudding, et cetera. Diplomats pudding.

Diplomats pudding. I once had an Uber driver who was a Polish immigrant and he was telling me he came here to be an actor and the biggest gig he ever got was, shut the fuck up. Shit and die. Shit and die. Dosser absolutely got her ass. Shut the fuck up. Shit and die. Jocker!

Absolutely got her ass. Oh, but when he does the sound thing to me, it's funny, isn't it? It's funny when he does it to me also. That one's funny. No, whatever. He said the only job he ever got was as one of the bad guys in the Quibi version of The Fugitive starring Kiefer Sutherland. Oh, he was an actor. So they of The Fugitive starring Kiefer Sutherland. Oh, he was an actor. So they did The Fugitive in like 20 minute chunks. Yeah.

And he was like, if Quibi didn't fail, I would have made it big because of that. Well, he would have only made it, I'd say, half as big as he thought he would because if someone turns the phone, now he's not in the frame. At all, yeah, if they went 90. If they went, if they go 90. Yeah. If they went 90. Yeah. They went 90 they go 90. If they went 90. Yeah. They went 90, ultimately.

Anyways, he's no vagina K, but he was a cool guy. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of the Headgun Podcast. We'll see you guys again next week. No plugs? No plugs. No plugs this week. That was a Headgum Original.